WILL ROGERS QUOTE HERE  12:35 pm December 6, 2012

Wingnuts Have Super Great Idea For House Speakership: Why Not Try Anarchy?

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

I'm not a member of any organized party. I'm a Republican.Some stupid bunch of idiots has a super smart and great idea. See, they are mad at John Boehner because he kicked a few of their idiot poobahs off a bunch of important committees, mostly because they kept answering roll call votes with “Hey John Boehner, I fucked your mom last night.” But the wingnuts think it is because those members are conservative, so communist Chinee John Boehner purged them like some orange-Starburst-flavored Mao. Now? John Boehner is Louis XVI, and they are The Terror.

American Majority Action (AMA) is launching a #FireBoehner campaign. If 16 members of the Republican Party abstain from voting for Boehner as speaker in January, he will be one vote shy of the 218 necessary to confirm his speakership.

“Speaker Boehner has been an abysmal failure as speaker, and his latest purge is the nail in the coffin for conservatives,” said Ned Ryun, president and CEO of AMA. “Boehner has never won a negation [sic] battle with the White House or Senate — and he’s been nothing short of an embarrassing spokesman for the conservative movement. It’s time for him to go.”

The AMA’s brilliant plan includes 16 red badges of courage voting “present” so John Boehner does not meet the 218-vote threshold he needs to be elected Speaker. (We looked it up, and surprisingly, they are correct that the Speaker needs a majority of the whole House.) So then he will be deposed. Who will replace him? Probably nobody!

Ron Meyer, press secretary for AMA, said that the group likes Rep. Jim Jordan of Ohio, the outgoing chairman of the conservative Republican Study Committee, to replace Boehner, though he noted that “there aren’t enough votes to elect someone new — yet.”

But removing him from the speakership, Myer said, is “doable for sure.”

Cool, so they will just not have anyone as Speaker of the House, second in line for the presidency. We are sure not having any leader at all will work out as well for them as it did for those nice boys with whom Piggy was such good friends.

Alternately, they could become Greens.

[DailyCaller]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 243 comments }

HarryButtle November 30, 2012 at 11:06 am

That cunt!?!?!?!?!?!?!

nounverb911 December 6, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Ah, the joys of cannibalism.

Lizzietish81 December 6, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Oooh maybe they'll get mad cow disease.

FNMA December 6, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Too late. Already have it.

SigDeFlyinMonky December 6, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Men can't get Mad Cow disease. Men are pigs.

Esteev December 6, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I can only assume they use extra hot sauce on the balls.

Guppy December 6, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Boehner: the Other Orange Meat.

Come here a minute December 6, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Lounie Gohmert could wage a strong campaign for the speakership.

Lascauxcaveman December 6, 2012 at 12:46 pm

If only one could understand what he was saying.

SnarkOff December 6, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Seriously. The man's a lunatic.

WhatTheHolyHeck December 6, 2012 at 12:57 pm

You're really going to expend your commenting energy on using the word "lunatic" instead of tackling the problems that genuinely affect all Wonketeers, like overused memes and rat dicks?

FNMA December 6, 2012 at 1:08 pm

You know who else overused memes and rat dicks? All of 'em, Katie!

oenspiek December 6, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Gohmert might be able to to campaign for the Speakership, if he can field a working trebuchet.

karlamarx December 6, 2012 at 4:01 pm

i looked up "trebuchet". nice.
the commenters are so damn smart on this website.
seriously.
(and very funny, also, too.)

FNMA December 6, 2012 at 12:38 pm

"Embarrassing" Boner? We've all been there. Well, at least some of us.

nounverb911 December 6, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Seventh graders are certainly more mature than Congress.

BadKitty904 December 6, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Yet both suffer from the problem of "embarrassing boehners"…

smokefilledroommate December 6, 2012 at 12:57 pm

(innocently) Isn't that redundant?

Pragmatist2 December 6, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Not lately.

Esteev December 6, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Sadly for me, they are all kinda embarrassing.

ttommyunger December 7, 2012 at 11:31 am

In time, young man, they will be a source of continuing pride.

mrpuma2u December 6, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Comrade Boehner/Beria must be sent to a evangelical re-educational gulag. Long live the dictatorship of the wing-nut-tariat!!!

nounverb911 December 6, 2012 at 12:40 pm

This is good news for Nancy Pelosi?

lulzmonger December 6, 2012 at 12:40 pm

BAKUNIN LIBEL!

Always had the GOP pegged as more nihilists than anarchists … but when in Rome, do as the Visigoths do.

HogeyeGrex December 6, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I don't know. A party that has as it's one true core organizing principle that "government=bad" sounds like the definition of anarchy to me.

Hammiepants December 6, 2012 at 12:40 pm

The most surprising aspect of this story isn't that Wingtards eat their young, but that they actually knew something about the procedures of the House. Kudos?

Terry December 6, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

SorosBot December 6, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Nah, the wingnuts don't eat their young, because they don't have any young to eat; that's how they can label someone in their late 40s a "young gun". But they do eat their shriveled up olds like the Boner here.

OzoneTom December 6, 2012 at 12:40 pm

They could all be co-Speakers!

FNMA December 6, 2012 at 12:44 pm

That would be "special."

axonneuron December 6, 2012 at 1:20 pm

and when everyone is special….no one is?

Blueb4sinrise December 6, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Commie!!!!!!

BerkeleyBear December 6, 2012 at 1:17 pm

You get a gavel! And you get a gavel!

jqheywood December 6, 2012 at 1:48 pm

It could be like the Cubs in the 60s, with a "College of Speakers" 'cause we all know how well that, or anything else since 1908, worked for them. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

elgin_pelican December 6, 2012 at 2:48 pm

"They were given the choice of becoming kings or the kings' messengers. As it is with children, they all wanted to be messengers." -Franz Kafka

starfanglednut December 6, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Sounds suspiciously like "sharing."

ChapterUndVerse December 8, 2012 at 12:29 am

Co-dependents!

And then co-defendants.

Barbara_ December 6, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Except for Lindsey Graham who answers with, “Hey John Boehner, I fucked your dad last night.”

sewollef December 6, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Eww, now that's gross.

Esteev December 6, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Or, "Hey John Boehner, I dreamt I fucked you last night."

DemonicRage December 6, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Aside from moments when he is actively pushing ham biscuits into his mouth, Lindsey is so obviously a bottom, always. Who has failed to notice this?

jodyleek December 6, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Bossy bottom is my guess.

Esteev December 6, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I dunno… I've never seen Lindsey cry. She's come close to tears, but never all the way.

GunToting[Redacted] December 6, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Isn't he a Senator?

NellCote71 December 6, 2012 at 5:25 pm

We are not running a fact-based campaign, here, for pete's sake.

ttommyunger December 7, 2012 at 11:32 am

Or, more likely: nephew.

HRH_Maddie December 6, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Is anyone else a little concerned that those in government seem to have the least idea how government actually works?

PugglesRule December 6, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Only in the GOP circus caucus.

John Birf Society December 6, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Apparently the GOP is cribbing its procedural strategies from Sweet Valley High.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 12:42 pm

American Majority Action (AMA)

Talk about truth in labeling!!!!

Terry December 6, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Well, they do seem to be Americans so they got one out of three correct.

Lizzietish81 December 6, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Hey, if the election was before blacks and women were allowed to vote, they would have totally have gotten the majority.

Esteev December 6, 2012 at 1:27 pm

*Sigh* The Glory Days . . .

ChapterUndVerse December 8, 2012 at 12:30 am

Truth in libeling!

gullywompr December 6, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Cool, so they will just not have anyone as Speaker of the House, second in line for the presidency.

Uh, third in line for the presidency, actually….

Old Handsome Joe Libel!

elviouslyqueer November 30, 2012 at 10:44 am

True story, also: a dear, genetically-female BFF of mine's husband's sister did the whole gender reassignment thing and his now his brother. Coincidentally, "his" partner was a boy who also underwent gender reassignment and is now a female. However, both of them reject the notion of "gender" and prefer to instead affix themselves with the label of "X."

Explaining this to other folks usually works better with a flowchart and a fifth of Devil's Food vodka, but it makes my family reunions look positively lame by comparison.

YouFail4eva December 6, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Damn it, I wanted to be the one to be all "OH SNAP, YOU GOT YOUR FACTS WRONG, YOU COMMIE" but now I can't.

I haz a sad :(

calliecallie December 6, 2012 at 12:48 pm

the operative phrase here is "in line." OHJ is first in line, Boehner second. Barry Bamz is not in line, he's already Prez. Despite the wingnuts.

gullywompr December 6, 2012 at 12:51 pm

By gum, you are correct.

I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.

BadKitty904 December 6, 2012 at 12:59 pm

It's the spice mines of Kessel for you, traitorous dog!

BoatOfVelociraptors December 6, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I hope at least 12 parsecs are involved.

Disassembly December 6, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Apologizing for a momentary slip? I'm beginning to this that this might be one of them liberal web logs.

gullywompr December 6, 2012 at 1:08 pm

You misspelled "think".

Well? What do you have to say for yourself?

SnarkOff December 6, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Wait…the black guy is President?

bikerlaureate December 6, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Until we pull the electoral college's accreditation.

And thanks to those pinkos at ACORN.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Ooh, let's talk semantics!
Obama is president, Biden is first in line, Speaker is second in line? did I get that right?

commiegirl99 December 6, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I actually had a little conversation with myself wondering whether to put him as second or third. But I went with CallieCallie's reasoning.

gullywompr December 6, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Did you have to use your fingers?

To count who was in line, of course, not for… oh forget it.

Disassembly December 6, 2012 at 1:07 pm

You're both wrong. Second and third in line are still Alexander Haig.

asterixaverni December 6, 2012 at 1:25 pm

You mean he's not dead yet?

Disassembly December 6, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I fail to see how that's relevant.

James Michael Curley December 6, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Right!

The interesting thing is if there is no speaker of the House then President pro temp of the Senate becomes President.

President Dan 'Surfs Up Dudes!' Inouye sound fine to me.

SorosBot December 6, 2012 at 1:24 pm

I certainly hope it never has to reach the President pro temp of the Senate, since thanks to the practice of giving the position to the majority party's Senator with the most seniority, it's always someone ridiculously old.

James Michael Curley December 6, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Senator Dan Inouye says he will run for a tenth term in 2016. He will be 92 years old.

Guppy December 6, 2012 at 1:29 pm
gullywompr December 6, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I need better unit tests.

MoeDeLawn December 6, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Damn! I'm going to have iterative loops in my head all freakin' afternoon! Curse you Guppy!

Disassembly December 6, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I did not realize Obama was still in line to be president. That guy can never catch a break.

ShreditorsDesk December 6, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Let them shine brightly as they are!

Lizzietish81 December 6, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Like a bloated red giant about to die and shrink into a dim white dwarf.

Been watching a lot of astronomy specials.

James Michael Curley December 6, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I thought you were talking about a Tim Burton movie.

Lascauxcaveman December 6, 2012 at 12:43 pm

I quit our local anarchist's club. Too many damn rules and bylaws.

Lascauxcaveman December 6, 2012 at 1:17 pm

BTW, did anyone else have the problem of clicking on their Wonkette bookmark and have it take them to something called "Twitter?" Mine was like that for about ten minutes just now.

SoBeach December 6, 2012 at 12:44 pm

It's hissy fits like this that are going to win more seats for real conservatives in the midterms.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 12:44 pm

I nominate Ante Pavelić.

SayItWithWookies December 6, 2012 at 12:50 pm

That there fellow is the spitting image of Jim DeMint.

PopeEdgardo December 6, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I'm anti-Pavelic.

elviouslyqueer December 6, 2012 at 12:44 pm

This is good news for Virginia Foxx, baby!

DCBloom December 6, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Oh hell no! She is the bane of my existence. I actually live in her district and have to endure seeing "Foxx Country" bumper stickers every time I go out.

Negropolis December 7, 2012 at 2:47 am

Any day that crazy, lazy-eyed broad remains above ground is a good day for Virginia Foxx.

el_donaldo December 6, 2012 at 12:44 pm

This isn't going to end until some fat wingnut's head ends up on a spike. With votes.

BadKitty904 December 6, 2012 at 1:01 pm

And that would be a problem…how?

el_donaldo December 6, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Taxpayers might have to pay to have the carpets cleaned, but … yeah. No loss.

greenloner December 6, 2012 at 2:19 pm

the more the merrier I will be

SayItWithWookies December 6, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Oh, of course — opposing everything has worked out so well for the Republicans against President Obama that they're now going to try it on themselves — this would be fun if the most likely outcome wasn't the ascendency of warthog-faced corporate whore Eric Cantor. Nevertheless, I'll try to enjoy it.

PugglesRule December 6, 2012 at 1:52 pm

That, sir, is an insult to warthogs.

emmelemm December 6, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Indeed! I'm quite fond of warthogs, actually.

gullywompr December 6, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Pedantry is for closers.

iburl December 6, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompadee dee
If you are wise you will listen to me
Who do you blame when your leader's a prat
Teary and Orange like a pepper-sprayed cat?
Blaming Obama is stupid and lame
You know exactly who's to blame:
Tobacco and the Liquor Lobbies
Oompa Loompa doompadee dah
If you're not Republican then you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do

bearperney December 6, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Excellent!

HRH_Maddie December 6, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Thanks for the earworm.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 12:46 pm

I like how they are morphing from "Republican Party" to "Donner Party."

WhatTheHolyHeck December 6, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Win.

One_who_wanders December 6, 2012 at 1:00 pm

WIN

BadKitty904 December 6, 2012 at 1:03 pm
PugglesRule December 6, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Needs elephunk trunk!

Lascauxcaveman December 6, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I hope these guys are successful in wrecking the Republican majority. How awesome would it be to have a communist parliamentary coalition type of government with three or four parties like all the cool kids up there in Canada?

Old-style Republicans could go back to being the fiscally conservative and socially liberal party they used to be, the Dems could go back to being the fiscally liberal and socially liberal party they used to be, and the religious nutters could go back to being the mostly ignored 12 or 16% like they used to be.

sewollef December 6, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Assuming he can speak, Audie Murphy get my vote.

nounverb911 December 6, 2012 at 12:47 pm

"WILL ROGERS QUOTE HERE"

“I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.”
–Will Rogers

SorosBot December 6, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Gee, that sounds very familiar, almost like it was the alt.text for this article.

nounverb911 December 6, 2012 at 1:13 pm

My bad, I keep forgetting to read the alt-text.

SorosBot December 6, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Always read the alt-text; always.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 2:12 pm

And never get out of the boat.

Guppy December 6, 2012 at 1:31 pm

NOOB!

jqheywood December 6, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Ya can't read it on a tablet (at least not a Xoom)..

NellCote71 December 6, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Nor the sacred iPad, neither.

WhatTheHeck December 6, 2012 at 12:47 pm

This republican rabble sound like white noise from surround sound speakers.

ThundercatHo December 6, 2012 at 12:48 pm

You just know that shit weasel, Cantor, is behind this. I hope we get to see the video of JB beating the snot right out of him.

Mapmonger December 6, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Band name dibs on Shit Weasel.

Oblios_Cap December 6, 2012 at 12:53 pm

In a perfect world, they would both beat each other to death.

With votes, of course.

BadKitty904 December 6, 2012 at 1:05 pm

SPEAKERDOME! Two Rethugs enter, no Rethugs leave!

smokefilledroommate December 6, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Jeez, he'd really cry then.

Lizzietish81 December 6, 2012 at 12:53 pm

get the cups ready!

vulpes82 December 6, 2012 at 1:00 pm

From relief, I'd have to think, at this point. Seriously, why bother at this point? Step down and go get plastered.

malsperanza December 6, 2012 at 3:31 pm

The Jim DeMint approach to governing.

BadKitty904 December 6, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Maybe Rmoney could spare him a roll o' paper Towels…

smokefilledroommate December 6, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Here, John. Here's Towel.

Esteev December 6, 2012 at 1:24 pm

"Dry those saline-flavored drops, which are leaking from your eyes."

NellCote71 December 6, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Is Towel the name of a Romney offspring, or is it a Palin?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 6, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Anarchy! It's what passes for leadership to Republicans.

TaggWatchesYou December 6, 2012 at 12:49 pm

“Boehner has never won a negation [sic] battle with the White House or Senate

Au contraire! I think Boehner has successfully negated his value in every battle to date.

mull_man December 6, 2012 at 1:07 pm

never won a negation – he's a walking, talking double negative.

starfanglednut December 6, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Ain't neither.

OneYieldRegular December 6, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Indeed – I can think of no one who has been better than Boehner at putting the "no" in "The Party of No."

ManchuCandidate December 6, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Anarchy in the U! S! A!

eggsacklywright December 6, 2012 at 12:54 pm

God save the Boner.

calliecallie December 6, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I suspect this is a plot by Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor.

BadKitty904 December 6, 2012 at 1:06 pm

It does have a distinctly slimy feel to it…

northernbassist December 6, 2012 at 12:50 pm

“Boehner has never won a negation [sic] battle with the White House or Senate…"'Bout time these clowns admitted that their preferred method of governing is sticking their fingers in their ears and screaming, "No! NO! No!"

Lizzietish81 December 6, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Aw, the Schadenfreude keeps coming back….

Let's see who is on the sacrificial pit as the Republicans eat themselves so far….

The Honorable Boner, Grover Norquist, Karl Rove, Mittens, Scott Brown, the Tea Party, Akin and the rest of his Rape Apologist Posse…

Oblios_Cap December 6, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Fire Boner is what those poor NC inmates get after rubbing hot suace on their genitalia.

It's almost funny to watch the GOP tactics of the last 5 decades explode in their face. They cultivated these idiots and now they're reaping the whirlwind. And damaging the
Republic.

BadKitty904 December 6, 2012 at 1:09 pm

They've repeatedly and clearly demonstrated that they are no remotely concerned about the welfare of the Republic. Their sole loyalty is to the Republican Party and their sole goal is increasing its power.

NellCote71 December 6, 2012 at 5:34 pm

They are not even loyal to the Republican Party. No past presidents at the convention. Or presidential or v-presidential candidates. On the other hand, the Democrats trot out every single one of ours. Except Al Gore, but we did pay moving tribute to Ted Kennedy.

Blueb4sinrise December 6, 2012 at 12:52 pm

RonRuss Meyer for Speaker!!!!!!!!!!

FNMA December 6, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Faster Pussycat Kill Kill!

Botlrokit December 6, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Myer said, is “doable for sure.”

"Doable" should never be spoken in front of camera, never, ever.

Esteev December 6, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Is it OK in a text message?

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 1:41 pm

How about in ASL?

Esteev December 6, 2012 at 1:46 pm

You mean while cybering?

*something whispered in Esteev's ear*

Ohhhhh! Yes, continue.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 6, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Going forward, we should no longer utilize the word 'doable'.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 2:01 pm

I'm reading "The Agony and the Ecstasy" and one of the characters comments several times upon the "mattressability" of various and sundry females. This in 1488 Florence.

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 6, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Overheard at the first American Majority Action meeting.

"Hey guys, I have a great idea. Let's put the word majority in the name of our organization so that we will always be able to get our way. Because democracy."

SayItWithWookies December 6, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Hey, it worked so well for the Moral and Silent Majorities.

bikerlaureate December 6, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

- Mark Twain

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Hey, it worked for the bolsheviks.

TeaNuts December 6, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Oh the crocodile tears for them Republicans.

decentcitizen December 6, 2012 at 12:53 pm

So much for message discipline!

EatsBabyDingos December 6, 2012 at 12:54 pm

How about an inflated Trojan for Speaker. We could call it "Hologram Boner." It will be more substantive than anything the real Boner has done since third grade.

Chet Kincaid_ December 6, 2012 at 12:54 pm

It's like Will Rogers said: "Republicans can suck my dick — and would, too!"

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Rogers is also famous for saying "I never met a man I didn't like, except for those goat-fucking Republicans."

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 1:40 pm

So weird that guy was from Oklahoma. Of course, you can't explain The Flaming Lips, either.

bobbert December 6, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Or Leon Russell.

karlamarx December 6, 2012 at 3:57 pm

or woody guthrie.

Botlrokit December 6, 2012 at 12:56 pm

HAHAHAHA WHATEVER… if you really think they're going to fire Old Orange, I've got a castle I want to sell you in Idaho.

Eh…

n/m

Chet Kincaid_ December 6, 2012 at 12:58 pm

In other news from 1916, anarchists tried to blow up a bridge in Cleveland:
http://www.salon.com/2012/12/06/4_anarchists_sent

BadKitty904 December 6, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Such impatience. Given the current state of America's infrastructure, I'm sure the bridge would've fallen down on its own accord soon enough.

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I'd be a lot more impressed if the terrorists that the FBI was arresting weren't getting their explosives from the FBI.

Steverino247 December 6, 2012 at 3:50 pm

If they got the explosives someplace else, we'd be picking up bridge pieces, though, so there's that to consider. These assholes were looking for trouble and got it.

scorpy1 December 6, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Finally, Republican leadership that I can believe in.

smokefilledroommate December 6, 2012 at 12:59 pm

…and you know what they did? That's right– They threw him out !

SorosBot December 6, 2012 at 12:59 pm

"he’s been nothing short of an embarrassing spokesman for the conservative movement."

Boehner's been a perfectly acceptable spokesman for the conservative movement, crazies; it's that everyone is rejecting the message, not the messenger. It's like, if he was trying to sell shit sandwiches and no one was buying, would you blame him for being a bad salesman, or the fact that no one wants to eat shit? But yet eating shit is much more pleasant than right-wing policies.

Lizzietish81 December 6, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Hey, Conservatism can't fail…it can only be failed.

mrblifil December 6, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Except he's the color of an Oompa-Loompa and cries a lot too, in a weird psycho way that suggests some bizarre rape-ritual trauma practiced on him in his youth. That part is a little embarrassing. Oh and his tiny penis too.

ProgressiveInga December 6, 2012 at 1:00 pm

You guys are forgetting the most important question here:
How will this affect $arah Palin?

(Hey, The Bitch is Back just hit my playlist as I typed her name. True story.)

viennawoods13 December 6, 2012 at 9:57 pm

That happens to you, also, too? Other day I was cleaning up my office with my son's dog underfoot while listening to Dennis Leary on The Daily Show, and he and Jon were going on about bowel movements. Really. I turn around and son of a bitch if dog hadn't just taken a dump in the middle of my office.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 6, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Republicans thrive on carnage, Rebecca. They consume, infest, destroy, live off the death and destruction of other species

BadKitty904 December 6, 2012 at 1:16 pm

"You were stung as a child, weren't you?"

bobbert December 6, 2012 at 1:41 pm

And they have so many relatives.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 6, 2012 at 2:06 pm

With votes.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 1:34 pm

So they're kinda like a less-fun (fun-less?) version of that band of Vikings featured on those credit card ads. "What's in your tanning booth?"

Negropolis December 7, 2012 at 2:52 am

Wait, the Republicans are Kardashians and Lohans?

MonkeyMotion December 6, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I'm not one for "action" movies per se, but watching the rats scurry on the sinking GOP ship is pretty entertaining. Bon voyage, y'all!

mbobier December 6, 2012 at 1:05 pm

How do you like your monster now, Dr. Frankenstein?

BadKitty904 December 6, 2012 at 1:17 pm

True, that!

SuspectedDemocrat December 6, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Monster needs better messaging.

Steverino247 December 6, 2012 at 3:51 pm

That's, "Fronkensteen."

Baconzgood December 6, 2012 at 1:15 pm

This is funny. Like a psyic I said that if the GOP got in bed with the tea party the tea baggers would hi-jack the party and burn it to the ground.

Barrelhse December 6, 2012 at 1:18 pm

That's funny- I fucked his mom last night, too.

OneYieldRegular December 6, 2012 at 1:19 pm

I love Barry's expression in that photo. You just know he's thinking, "Christ, he's blubbering again, and right into my ear! What is wrong with that guy?"

BerkeleyBear December 6, 2012 at 1:25 pm

The real question would be if Nancy, on her own or by ceding nominal leadership to someone perceived as more moderate, could entice 17 GOPiggies into seeing the writing on the wall and switching to a coalition with Dems. Probably too much of a reach, but that would be hi-fucking-larious and likely presage the end of the GOP a la the Whigs splintering to death in the 1850s.

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 1:47 pm

If that happened I would end up in the hospital for simultaneously laughing myself sick while fapping myself raw.

emmelemm December 6, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Hee! What a picture. But yeah, that would be an OVERDOSE of schadenfreude.

PopeEdgardo December 6, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Has anyone bothered to tell these mouth breathers that the red badge of courage was a bullet hole?

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I don't think they'd understand. Conservatives are pretty weak when it comes to metaphor-fu, as evidence Ned Ryun wrote:

“Speaker Boehner has been an abysmal failure as speaker, and his latest purge is the nail in the coffin for conservatives,” said Ned Ryun, president and CEO of AMA

"…the nail in the coffin for conservatives"? Does this mean that they're dead yet? Which nail in the coffin is it Ned? I mean if the coffin is only held together with one nail then it's probably not very strong and you could break out and go shambling around the earth eating everyone's brains. If it's the "final nail in the coffin" and there are a whole bunch of other nails holding the coffin together then it's going to be a little harder for you to break out and devour the brains of the living.

SuspectedDemocrat December 6, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Oh sure, if you're going to trope out that tired old canard, that's just the height of insincere incredulity. Also. Too.

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 2:29 pm

"tired old canard"? I'll have you know that my canards aren't tired and old, they're young and vigorous. Indeed I have even heard them described as "turgid, veiny and purple-headed".

joobajooba December 6, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Or … 16 Democrats could vote for Boehner.

SuspectedDemocrat December 6, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Republicans could all abstain and Democrats could all vote for Pelosi.

Eve8Apples December 6, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I can't wait for Barry's State of the Union address in January. Now that he doesn't have to face re-election ever again, he can stroll up to the podium, look at Boehner wiping tears from his eyes, chuckle, hold his head high and look at the audience of Republican House members and say "What the fuck is wrong with you crazy motherfuckers?"

SuspectedDemocrat December 6, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Who wants the job of being Republican Speaker?

*crickets*

SayItWithWookies December 6, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Someone's gotta want it — it pays better than daycare.

Toomush_Infer December 6, 2012 at 1:31 pm

No, this works for the teabaggers – having no one in charge of the House suits them fine – then, it's all the Democrats fault, 'cause….Squirrel!!!!….

Antispandex December 6, 2012 at 1:31 pm

So they want to get rid of him, but don't have enough votes to elect someone new? What will happen then? Bachmann?

asterixaverni December 6, 2012 at 1:31 pm

The House is starting to resemble New York State.

I'm not sure if that is a bad thing…

Troglodeity December 6, 2012 at 1:33 pm

How about if they just secede?

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 1:38 pm

“Speaker Boehner has been an abysmal failure as speaker, and his latest purge is the nail in the coffin for conservatives,” said Ned Ryun, president and CEO of AMA. “Boehner has never won a negation [sic] battle with the White House or Senate — and he’s been nothing short of an embarrassing spokesman for the conservative movement. It’s time for him to go.”

Remember, conservatism can never fail, it can only be failed.

bikerlaureate December 6, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Thank Goodness the party of fiscal conservatism – the one that loves our great land – still controls the House of Representatives.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 1:38 pm

"John Boehner is Louis XVI, and they are The Terror."

And Obama just knits and grins.

bobloblawlawblg December 6, 2012 at 1:46 pm

"Boehner has never won a negation [sic] battle with the White House or Senate"

I disagree with the [sic] here. Seems fine as is.

BZ1 December 6, 2012 at 1:46 pm

There's actually a conservative Republican Study Committee?? What the h-w-hockey pucks would they study?

Guppy December 6, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I have five words for you:

"Speaker pro tem Eric Cantor."

SuspectedDemocrat December 6, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Suddenly I feel a strange urge to build a walled compound full of guns and canned food.

Guppy December 6, 2012 at 2:00 pm

There's only one way to settle this: Trial by ordeal, under the watchful eye of T'Pelosi.

fatbob54 December 6, 2012 at 2:09 pm

This is the only cat video I find amusing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NJQvswrSPg

An_Outhouse December 6, 2012 at 2:06 pm

You know who else felt the need to purge their party if anyone disagreed with their position?

HistoriCat December 6, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Joe Stalin?

Lizzietish81 December 7, 2012 at 8:08 am

Lucretia Borges?

ALIVE! December 6, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I've seen this movie before. Willie Brown becomes Speaker.

mrblifil December 6, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Hey I saw Lincoln too!

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 2:42 pm

American Majority Action (AMA) is launching a #FireBoehner campaign.

As an aside can you imagine how incredibly fucking stupid and vacuous
American history would have been if Twitter had been invented 250 years
earlier? We would have learned about #ThreeFifthsCompromise, #WilmotProviso,
#GadsdenPurchase, #MissouriCompromise, etc, etc, etc.

karlamarx December 6, 2012 at 3:51 pm

i found this article extreeeeeeeeeeemely interesting.

that is all.

DahBoner December 6, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Ann Archey?

Sure, Boner played a couple rounds with her down at the Country Club…

bobloblawlawblg December 6, 2012 at 4:39 pm

"Boehner has never won a negation [sic] battle with the White House or Senate"

I disagree with the [sic] here. Seems fine to me as is.

Chow Yun Flat December 6, 2012 at 5:34 pm

“Speaker Boehner has been an abysmal failure as speaker –true– and his latest purge is the nail in the coffin for conservatives –if only

Left_Leftie December 6, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Fa, Fap, Fap Schadenfreude still feels soooooo good!

Dashboard Buddha December 6, 2012 at 6:33 pm

I think that Boehner is a teary-eyed douchbag, but in this case, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

christianmuslin December 6, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Need to look at my US Constitution, I'm not just out of high school, but it may be that the Speaker of the House is not required to be a Member of Congress. If so, it just might be Sarah Palin that these idiots want over Boehner.

IceCreamEmpress December 6, 2012 at 11:12 pm

The Duke of Orange isn't having a good week, is he?

Negropolis December 7, 2012 at 2:57 am

Somewhere in the capitol, Nancy is smiling and stroking her gavel, which is purring, waiting to be wielded with the vegence, again…

ttommyunger December 7, 2012 at 11:38 am

I believe in divide and conquer, but we are into fractions now. I love it!

Disassembly December 6, 2012 at 1:10 pm

No Apology!

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 6, 2012 at 1:17 pm

With Votes!

gullywompr December 6, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I think we just found our new GOP House Speaker!

Tommy1733 December 6, 2012 at 1:30 pm

In the tradition of Mormons remote-praying on non-Mormon souls, I apologize on your behalf.

PopeEdgardo December 6, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Somebody slander!

PugglesRule December 6, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Because blah!

HistoriCat December 6, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Meme libel!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 6, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Benghazi!!11!

Disassembly December 6, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Sure. It might be fun to gently whisper "you lie" in the president's ear during the State of the Union.

bikerlaureate December 6, 2012 at 2:04 pm

54 CHRISTmas treez !!!1!!!!!!@

Sivart_R1 December 6, 2012 at 2:38 pm

If he weren't in the senate….this would be good news for JOHN MCCAIN!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 6, 2012 at 3:01 pm

HENGHHGH?

jodyleek December 6, 2012 at 3:14 pm

You spelled "preying" wrong!

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