Some stupid bunch of idiots has a super smart and great idea. See, they are mad at John Boehner because he kicked a few of their idiot poobahs off a bunch of important committees, mostly because they kept answering roll call votes with “Hey John Boehner, I fucked your mom last night.” But the wingnuts think it is because those members are conservative, so communist Chinee John Boehner purged them like some orange-Starburst-flavored Mao. Now? John Boehner is Louis XVI, and they are The Terror.
American Majority Action (AMA) is launching a #FireBoehner campaign. If 16 members of the Republican Party abstain from voting for Boehner as speaker in January, he will be one vote shy of the 218 necessary to confirm his speakership.
“Speaker Boehner has been an abysmal failure as speaker, and his latest purge is the nail in the coffin for conservatives,” said Ned Ryun, president and CEO of AMA. “Boehner has never won a negation [sic] battle with the White House or Senate — and he’s been nothing short of an embarrassing spokesman for the conservative movement. It’s time for him to go.”
The AMA’s brilliant plan includes 16 red badges of courage voting “present” so John Boehner does not meet the 218-vote threshold he needs to be elected Speaker. (We looked it up, and surprisingly, they are correct that the Speaker needs a majority of the whole House.) So then he will be deposed. Who will replace him? Probably nobody!
Ron Meyer, press secretary for AMA, said that the group likes Rep. Jim Jordan of Ohio, the outgoing chairman of the conservative Republican Study Committee, to replace Boehner, though he noted that “there aren’t enough votes to elect someone new — yet.”
But removing him from the speakership, Myer said, is “doable for sure.”
Cool, so they will just not have anyone as Speaker of the House, second in line for the presidency. We are sure not having any leader at all will work out as well for them as it did for those nice boys with whom Piggy was such good friends.
Alternately, they could become Greens.
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That cunt!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Ah, the joys of cannibalism.
Oooh maybe they'll get mad cow disease.
Too late. Already have it.
Men can't get Mad Cow disease. Men are pigs.
I can only assume they use extra hot sauce on the balls.
Boehner: the Other Orange Meat.
Lounie Gohmert could wage a strong campaign for the speakership.
If only one could understand what he was saying.
Seriously. The man's a lunatic.
You're really going to expend your commenting energy on using the word "lunatic" instead of tackling the problems that genuinely affect all Wonketeers, like overused memes and rat dicks?
You know who else overused memes and rat dicks? All of 'em, Katie!
Gohmert might be able to to campaign for the Speakership, if he can field a working trebuchet.
i looked up "trebuchet". nice.
the commenters are so damn smart on this website.
seriously.
(and very funny, also, too.)
"Embarrassing" Boner? We've all been there. Well, at least some of us.
Seventh graders are certainly more mature than Congress.
Yet both suffer from the problem of "embarrassing boehners"…
(innocently) Isn't that redundant?
Not lately.
Sadly for me, they are all kinda embarrassing.
In time, young man, they will be a source of continuing pride.
Comrade Boehner/Beria must be sent to a evangelical re-educational gulag. Long live the dictatorship of the wing-nut-tariat!!!
This is good news for Nancy Pelosi?
BAKUNIN LIBEL!
Always had the GOP pegged as more nihilists than anarchists … but when in Rome, do as the Visigoths do.
I don't know. A party that has as it's one true core organizing principle that "government=bad" sounds like the definition of anarchy to me.
The most surprising aspect of this story isn't that Wingtards eat their young, but that they actually knew something about the procedures of the House. Kudos?
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Nah, the wingnuts don't eat their young, because they don't have any young to eat; that's how they can label someone in their late 40s a "young gun". But they do eat their shriveled up olds like the Boner here.
They could all be co-Speakers!
That would be "special."
and when everyone is special….no one is?
Commie!!!!!!
You get a gavel! And you get a gavel!
It could be like the Cubs in the 60s, with a "College of Speakers" 'cause we all know how well that, or anything else since 1908, worked for them. Not that I'm bitter or anything.
"They were given the choice of becoming kings or the kings' messengers. As it is with children, they all wanted to be messengers." -Franz Kafka
Sounds suspiciously like "sharing."
Co-dependents!
And then co-defendants.
Except for Lindsey Graham who answers with, “Hey John Boehner, I fucked your dad last night.”
Eww, now that's gross.
Or, "Hey John Boehner, I dreamt I fucked you last night."
Aside from moments when he is actively pushing ham biscuits into his mouth, Lindsey is so obviously a bottom, always. Who has failed to notice this?
Bossy bottom is my guess.
I dunno… I've never seen Lindsey cry. She's come close to tears, but never all the way.
Isn't he a Senator?
We are not running a fact-based campaign, here, for pete's sake.
Or, more likely: nephew.
Is anyone else a little concerned that those in government seem to have the least idea how government actually works?
Only in the GOP
circuscaucus.Apparently the GOP is cribbing its procedural strategies from Sweet Valley High.
American Majority Action (AMA)
Talk about truth in labeling!!!!
Well, they do seem to be Americans so they got one out of three correct.
Hey, if the election was before blacks and women were allowed to vote, they would have totally have gotten the majority.
*Sigh* The Glory Days . . .
Truth in libeling!
Uh, third in line for the presidency, actually….
Old Handsome Joe Libel!
True story, also: a dear, genetically-female BFF of mine's husband's sister did the whole gender reassignment thing and his now his brother. Coincidentally, "his" partner was a boy who also underwent gender reassignment and is now a female. However, both of them reject the notion of "gender" and prefer to instead affix themselves with the label of "X."
Explaining this to other folks usually works better with a flowchart and a fifth of Devil's Food vodka, but it makes my family reunions look positively lame by comparison.
Damn it, I wanted to be the one to be all "OH SNAP, YOU GOT YOUR FACTS WRONG, YOU COMMIE" but now I can't.
I haz a sad :(
the operative phrase here is "in line." OHJ is first in line, Boehner second. Barry Bamz is not in line, he's already Prez. Despite the wingnuts.
By gum, you are correct.
I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.
It's the spice mines of Kessel for you, traitorous dog!
I hope at least 12 parsecs are involved.
Apologizing for a momentary slip? I'm beginning to this that this might be one of them liberal web logs.
You misspelled "think".
Well? What do you have to say for yourself?
Wait…the black guy is President?
Until we pull the electoral college's accreditation.
And thanks to those pinkos at ACORN.
Ooh, let's talk semantics!
Obama is president, Biden is first in line, Speaker is second in line? did I get that right?
I actually had a little conversation with myself wondering whether to put him as second or third. But I went with CallieCallie's reasoning.
Did you have to use your fingers?
To count who was in line, of course, not for… oh forget it.
You're both wrong. Second and third in line are still Alexander Haig.
You mean he's not dead yet?
I fail to see how that's relevant.
Right!
The interesting thing is if there is no speaker of the House then President pro temp of the Senate becomes President.
President Dan 'Surfs Up Dudes!' Inouye sound fine to me.
I certainly hope it never has to reach the President pro temp of the Senate, since thanks to the practice of giving the position to the majority party's Senator with the most seniority, it's always someone ridiculously old.
Senator Dan Inouye says he will run for a tenth term in 2016. He will be 92 years old.
Reading for nerds.
I need better unit tests.
Damn! I'm going to have iterative loops in my head all freakin' afternoon! Curse you Guppy!
I did not realize Obama was still in line to be president. That guy can never catch a break.
Let them shine brightly as they are!
Like a bloated red giant about to die and shrink into a dim white dwarf.
Been watching a lot of astronomy specials.
I thought you were talking about a Tim Burton movie.
I quit our local anarchist's club. Too many damn rules and bylaws.
BTW, did anyone else have the problem of clicking on their Wonkette bookmark and have it take them to something called "Twitter?" Mine was like that for about ten minutes just now.
It's hissy fits like this that are going to win more seats for real conservatives in the midterms.
I nominate Ante Pavelić.
That there fellow is the spitting image of Jim DeMint.
I'm anti-Pavelic.
This is good news for Virginia Foxx, baby!
Oh hell no! She is the bane of my existence. I actually live in her district and have to endure seeing "Foxx Country" bumper stickers every time I go out.
Any day that crazy, lazy-eyed broad remains above ground is a good day for Virginia Foxx.
This isn't going to end until some fat wingnut's head ends up on a spike. With votes.
And that would be a problem…how?
Taxpayers might have to pay to have the carpets cleaned, but … yeah. No loss.
the more the merrier I will be
Oh, of course — opposing everything has worked out so well for the Republicans against President Obama that they're now going to try it on themselves — this would be fun if the most likely outcome wasn't the ascendency of warthog-faced corporate whore Eric Cantor. Nevertheless, I'll try to enjoy it.
That, sir, is an insult to warthogs.
Indeed! I'm quite fond of warthogs, actually.
Pedantry is for closers.
Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompadee dee
If you are wise you will listen to me
Who do you blame when your leader's a prat
Teary and Orange like a pepper-sprayed cat?
Blaming Obama is stupid and lame
You know exactly who's to blame:
Tobacco and the Liquor Lobbies
Oompa Loompa doompadee dah
If you're not Republican then you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do
Excellent!
Thanks for the earworm.
I like how they are morphing from "Republican Party" to "Donner Party."
Win.
WIN
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gNQRb61OvwE/TMIt1bJgUoI…
Needs elephunk trunk!
I hope these guys are successful in wrecking the Republican majority. How awesome would it be to have a
communistparliamentary coalition type of government with three or four parties like all the cool kids up there in Canada?Old-style Republicans could go back to being the fiscally conservative and socially liberal party they used to be, the Dems could go back to being the fiscally liberal and socially liberal party they used to be, and the religious nutters could go back to being the mostly ignored 12 or 16% like they used to be.
Assuming he can speak, Audie Murphy get my vote.
"WILL ROGERS QUOTE HERE"
“I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.”
–Will Rogers
Gee, that sounds very familiar, almost like it was the alt.text for this article.
My bad, I keep forgetting to read the alt-text.
Always read the alt-text; always.
And never get out of the boat.
NOOB!
Ya can't read it on a tablet (at least not a Xoom)..
Nor the sacred iPad, neither.
This republican rabble sound like white noise from surround sound speakers.
You just know that shit weasel, Cantor, is behind this. I hope we get to see the video of JB beating the snot right out of him.
Band name dibs on Shit Weasel.
In a perfect world, they would both beat each other to death.
With votes, of course.
SPEAKERDOME! Two Rethugs enter, no Rethugs leave!
Jeez, he'd really cry then.
get the cups ready!
From relief, I'd have to think, at this point. Seriously, why bother at this point? Step down and go get plastered.
The Jim DeMint approach to governing.
Maybe Rmoney could spare him a roll o' paper Towels…
Here, John. Here's Towel.
"Dry those saline-flavored drops, which are leaking from your eyes."
Is Towel the name of a Romney offspring, or is it a Palin?
Anarchy! It's what passes for leadership to Republicans.
Au contraire! I think Boehner has successfully negated his value in every battle to date.
never won a negation – he's a walking, talking double negative.
Ain't neither.
Indeed – I can think of no one who has been better than Boehner at putting the "no" in "The Party of No."
Anarchy in the U! S! A!
God save the Boner.
I suspect this is a plot by Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor.
It does have a distinctly slimy feel to it…
Aw, the Schadenfreude keeps coming back….
Let's see who is on the sacrificial pit as the Republicans eat themselves so far….
The Honorable Boner, Grover Norquist, Karl Rove, Mittens, Scott Brown, the Tea Party, Akin and the rest of his Rape Apologist Posse…
Fire Boner is what those poor NC inmates get after rubbing hot suace on their genitalia.
It's almost funny to watch the GOP tactics of the last 5 decades explode in their face. They cultivated these idiots and now they're reaping the whirlwind. And damaging the
Republic.
They've repeatedly and clearly demonstrated that they are no remotely concerned about the welfare of the Republic. Their sole loyalty is to the Republican Party and their sole goal is increasing its power.
They are not even loyal to the Republican Party. No past presidents at the convention. Or presidential or v-presidential candidates. On the other hand, the Democrats trot out every single one of ours. Except Al Gore, but we did pay moving tribute to Ted Kennedy.
RonRuss Meyer for Speaker!!!!!!!!!!Faster Pussycat Kill Kill!
Myer said, is “doable for sure.”
"Doable" should never be spoken in front of camera, never, ever.
Is it OK in a text message?
How about in ASL?
You mean while cybering?
*something whispered in Esteev's ear*
Ohhhhh! Yes, continue.
Going forward, we should no longer utilize the word 'doable'.
I'm reading "The Agony and the Ecstasy" and one of the characters comments several times upon the "mattressability" of various and sundry females. This in 1488 Florence.
Overheard at the first American Majority Action meeting.
"Hey guys, I have a great idea. Let's put the word majority in the name of our organization so that we will always be able to get our way. Because democracy."
Hey, it worked so well for the Moral and Silent Majorities.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain
Hey, it worked for the bolsheviks.
Oh the crocodile tears for them Republicans.
So much for message discipline!
How about an inflated Trojan for Speaker. We could call it "Hologram Boner." It will be more substantive than anything the real Boner has done since third grade.
It's like Will Rogers said: "Republicans can suck my dick — and would, too!"
Rogers is also famous for saying "I never met a man I didn't like, except for those goat-fucking Republicans."
So weird that guy was from Oklahoma. Of course, you can't explain The Flaming Lips, either.
Or Leon Russell.
or woody guthrie.
HAHAHAHA WHATEVER… if you really think they're going to fire Old Orange, I've got a castle I want to sell you in Idaho.
Eh…
n/m
In other news from 1916, anarchists tried to blow up a bridge in Cleveland:
http://www.salon.com/2012/12/06/4_anarchists_sent…
Such impatience. Given the current state of America's infrastructure, I'm sure the bridge would've fallen down on its own accord soon enough.
I'd be a lot more impressed if the terrorists that the FBI was arresting weren't getting their explosives from the FBI.
If they got the explosives someplace else, we'd be picking up bridge pieces, though, so there's that to consider. These assholes were looking for trouble and got it.
Finally, Republican leadership that I can believe in.
…and you know what they did? That's right– They threw him out !
"he’s been nothing short of an embarrassing spokesman for the conservative movement."
Boehner's been a perfectly acceptable spokesman for the conservative movement, crazies; it's that everyone is rejecting the message, not the messenger. It's like, if he was trying to sell shit sandwiches and no one was buying, would you blame him for being a bad salesman, or the fact that no one wants to eat shit? But yet eating shit is much more pleasant than right-wing policies.
Hey, Conservatism can't fail…it can only be failed.
Except he's the color of an Oompa-Loompa and cries a lot too, in a weird psycho way that suggests some bizarre rape-ritual trauma practiced on him in his youth. That part is a little embarrassing. Oh and his tiny penis too.
You guys are forgetting the most important question here:
How will this affect $arah Palin?
(Hey, The Bitch is Back just hit my playlist as I typed her name. True story.)
That happens to you, also, too? Other day I was cleaning up my office with my son's dog underfoot while listening to Dennis Leary on The Daily Show, and he and Jon were going on about bowel movements. Really. I turn around and son of a bitch if dog hadn't just taken a dump in the middle of my office.
Republicans thrive on carnage, Rebecca. They consume, infest, destroy, live off the death and destruction of other species
"You were stung as a child, weren't you?"
And they have so many relatives.
With votes.
So they're kinda like a less-fun (fun-less?) version of that band of Vikings featured on those credit card ads. "What's in your tanning booth?"
Wait, the Republicans are Kardashians and Lohans?
I'm not one for "action" movies per se, but watching the rats scurry on the sinking GOP ship is pretty entertaining. Bon voyage, y'all!
How do you like your monster now, Dr. Frankenstein?
True, that!
Monster needs better messaging.
That's, "Fronkensteen."
This is funny. Like a psyic I said that if the GOP got in bed with the tea party the tea baggers would hi-jack the party and burn it to the ground.
That's funny- I fucked his mom last night, too.
I love Barry's expression in that photo. You just know he's thinking, "Christ, he's blubbering again, and right into my ear! What is wrong with that guy?"
The real question would be if Nancy, on her own or by ceding nominal leadership to someone perceived as more moderate, could entice 17 GOPiggies into seeing the writing on the wall and switching to a coalition with Dems. Probably too much of a reach, but that would be hi-fucking-larious and likely presage the end of the GOP a la the Whigs splintering to death in the 1850s.
If that happened I would end up in the hospital for simultaneously laughing myself sick while fapping myself raw.
Hee! What a picture. But yeah, that would be an OVERDOSE of schadenfreude.
Has anyone bothered to tell these mouth breathers that the red badge of courage was a bullet hole?
I don't think they'd understand. Conservatives are pretty weak when it comes to metaphor-fu, as evidence Ned Ryun wrote:
"…the nail in the coffin for conservatives"? Does this mean that they're dead yet? Which nail in the coffin is it Ned? I mean if the coffin is only held together with one nail then it's probably not very strong and you could break out and go shambling around the earth eating everyone's brains. If it's the "final nail in the coffin" and there are a whole bunch of other nails holding the coffin together then it's going to be a little harder for you to break out and devour the brains of the living.
Oh sure, if you're going to trope out that tired old canard, that's just the height of insincere incredulity. Also. Too.
"tired old canard"? I'll have you know that my canards aren't tired and old, they're young and vigorous. Indeed I have even heard them described as "turgid, veiny and purple-headed".
Or … 16 Democrats could vote for Boehner.
Republicans could all abstain and Democrats could all vote for Pelosi.
I can't wait for Barry's State of the Union address in January. Now that he doesn't have to face re-election ever again, he can stroll up to the podium, look at Boehner wiping tears from his eyes, chuckle, hold his head high and look at the audience of Republican House members and say "What the fuck is wrong with you crazy motherfuckers?"
Who wants the job of being Republican Speaker?
*crickets*
Someone's gotta want it — it pays better than daycare.
No, this works for the teabaggers – having no one in charge of the House suits them fine – then, it's all the Democrats fault, 'cause….Squirrel!!!!….
So they want to get rid of him, but don't have enough votes to elect someone new? What will happen then? Bachmann?
The House is starting to resemble New York State.
I'm not sure if that is a bad thing…
How about if they just secede?
Remember, conservatism can never fail, it can only be failed.
Thank Goodness the party of fiscal conservatism – the one that loves our great land – still controls the House of Representatives.
"John Boehner is Louis XVI, and they are The Terror."
And Obama just knits and grins.
"Boehner has never won a negation [sic] battle with the White House or Senate"
I disagree with the [sic] here. Seems fine as is.
There's actually a conservative Republican Study Committee?? What the h-w-hockey pucks would they study?
I have five words for you:
"Speaker pro tem Eric Cantor."
Suddenly I feel a strange urge to build a walled compound full of guns and canned food.
There's only one way to settle this: Trial by ordeal, under the watchful eye of T'Pelosi.
This is the only cat video I find amusing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NJQvswrSPg
You know who else felt the need to purge their party if anyone disagreed with their position?
Joe Stalin?
Lucretia Borges?
I've seen this movie before. Willie Brown becomes Speaker.
Hey I saw Lincoln too!
As an aside can you imagine how incredibly fucking stupid and vacuous
American history would have been if Twitter had been invented 250 years
earlier? We would have learned about #ThreeFifthsCompromise, #WilmotProviso,
#GadsdenPurchase, #MissouriCompromise, etc, etc, etc.
i found this article extreeeeeeeeeeemely interesting.
that is all.
Ann Archey?
Sure, Boner played a couple rounds with her down at the Country Club…
"Boehner has never won a negation [sic] battle with the White House or Senate"
I disagree with the [sic] here. Seems fine to me as is.
“Speaker Boehner has been an abysmal failure as speaker –true– and his latest purge is the nail in the coffin for conservatives –if only
Fa, Fap, Fap Schadenfreude still feels soooooo good!
I think that Boehner is a teary-eyed douchbag, but in this case, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
Need to look at my US Constitution, I'm not just out of high school, but it may be that the Speaker of the House is not required to be a Member of Congress. If so, it just might be Sarah Palin that these idiots want over Boehner.
The Duke of Orange isn't having a good week, is he?
Somewhere in the capitol, Nancy is smiling and stroking her gavel, which is purring, waiting to be wielded with the vegence, again…
I believe in divide and conquer, but we are into fractions now. I love it!
No Apology!
With Votes!
I think we just found our new GOP House Speaker!
In the tradition of Mormons remote-praying on non-Mormon souls, I apologize on your behalf.
Somebody slander!
Because blah!
Meme libel!
Benghazi!!11!
Sure. It might be fun to gently whisper "you lie" in the president's ear during the State of the Union.
54 CHRISTmas treez !!!1!!!!!!@
If he weren't in the senate….this would be good news for JOHN MCCAIN!
HENGHHGH?
You spelled "preying" wrong!
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