I SAID GOOD DAY SIR...GOOD DAY!  1:42 pm December 6, 2012

Jim DeMint Has Had Enough Of Your Stupid Senate

by Doktor Zoom

I know this is going to disgust you Michael, but a lot of people are in this business to make moneySouth Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint (R-R’lyeh) announced that he will resign his U.S. Senate seat in January to become president of the Heritage Foundation. Sen. DeMint, just two years into his second term, will be trading “public service” (i.e., shaping policy to funnel government resources to contributors) for a “position in the private sector” (i.e., lobbying to get policy shaped to funnel government resources to contributors).

“I’m leaving the Senate now, but I’m not leaving the fight. I’ve decided to join The Heritage Foundation at a time when the conservative movement needs strong leadership in the battle of ideas,” DeMint said in a statement.

Liberal bloggers nationwide groaned at the “battle of ideas” metaphor, knowing that they would thereby be forced to invoke the “unarmed opponent” cliché. Curse you, Jim DeMint!

DeMint’s replacement in the Senate will be appointed by South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley, and will serve until a 2014 special election to serve out the remainder of the term. No word yet on whether Wonkette fave Alvin Greene is in the running for that appointment; we will assume that, since he has said nothing on the matter, he actually has said Everything on the matter, and will take DeMint’s seat in spirit, if not in material reality. (Say, how did Jack Stuef write that stuff, anyway?)

At press time, the assumption is that Mr. DeMint is transitioning to the Heritage Foundation mostly for teh moneez, as well as for the opportunity to pontificate without actually having to pass legislation. Reckless speculation about other possible motives would be irresponsible, but inevitable. Mr. DeMint, who has recently bloviated about the need to teach creationism in schools, because it is a science fact, should fit right in at the Heritage Foundation.

[The Hill]

Check out Wonkette on Facebook and Twitter, and if you’d like to hear from the Alvin Greene of Ponyville, Doktor Zoom is on Twitter, also, too.

 
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{ 179 comments }

gullywompr December 6, 2012 at 1:43 pm

And the pony he rode in on…

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 6, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Don't knock the ponies!

actor212 December 6, 2012 at 1:54 pm

SHH! Dammit. Maybe he won't notice!

ManchuCandidate December 6, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Brony Deminty?

actor212 December 6, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Deminty Demony

Guppy December 6, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Seriously, Dok: the only thing that annoys more than the ponies is being denied the right to bitch about the ponies!

actor212 December 6, 2012 at 2:29 pm

WE ARE OPPRESSED!

chicken_thief December 6, 2012 at 2:24 pm

What are you saying? That he had the buttseks with an intern and the pony he rode in on? I mean, I hadn't heard that, but it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 6, 2012 at 1:43 pm

If I had known there was an opening for a loud mouth ignorant asshole at the Heritage Foundation I would have applied although I'm not nearly as qualified as DeMint.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 6, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Can you say "Fuck the Poor." You are then qualified to lead Heritage.

actor212 December 6, 2012 at 1:55 pm

If I had known there was an opening for a loud mouth ignorant asshole

See, right there are two reasons you wouldn't qualify…

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 1:58 pm

You and me both. Damnit. I'm tired of being an amateur loud-mouthed ignorant asshole at Wonkette. I want to go pro, join the big leagues and go to the Heritage Foundation and get paid for it.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 6, 2012 at 2:06 pm

We could open a school!!!!!

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Maybe a program through Dennis Prager Online University!

HempDogbane December 6, 2012 at 2:19 pm

& run ads for it on Wonkette. With audio !

BoatOfVelociraptors December 6, 2012 at 2:28 pm

How much do you have to get paid to leave the senate of the most powerful country on the planet? Seriously, what's sweeter than sitting in the pot of 100 with filibuster powers you can run from a hot tub? Seriously, how do you get paid enough to leave a 3 day a week job with full benefits and bribery opportunities out the wazoo?

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Seriously, what's sweeter than sitting in the pot of 100 with filibuster powers you can run from a hot tub?

Remember though that you're sharing that hot tub with Lindsey Graham, Tom Coburn, Jim Imhofe, Mike Lee, Rand Paul, John McCain, Jon Kyl, Saxby Chambliss, Joe Lieberman, John Cornyn and Lamar Alexander, and that they all, every single one of them, forgot their swimsuits.

actor212 December 6, 2012 at 2:53 pm

HOOF
ARTED?

Terry December 6, 2012 at 1:59 pm

You've never tried to block education money for poor schools in South Carolina. You are a piker by comparison.

chicken_thief December 6, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Pssst. "Poor schools" = n-e-g-r-o-e-s, so it's ok.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 6, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Who will replace DeMint? That is a mighty big hole to fill.

freakishlywrong December 6, 2012 at 1:48 pm

It's South Carolina. Miss Pittypat will continue to be the lesser embarrassment from the Palmetto state in the senate.

BoatOfVelociraptors December 7, 2012 at 1:03 am

She would, but noobody bought her a map.

OzoneTom December 6, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Governor Nimrata Randhawa will appoint herself, QED.

weejee December 6, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Sikh and ye shall find. Will she be taking Will Folks as a senior aide?

Rufus T. Firefly December 6, 2012 at 4:42 pm

She can parachute herself over there.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Obama's Dick So Big, it can… no, it can't.

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Plus who's going to fill his mighty big holes now that he's not going to be around hambiscuits all day long?

bobloblawlawblg December 6, 2012 at 1:53 pm

This is Lindsey Graham's worry as well (about the hole, I mean.)

drbill0620 December 6, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Or her ultimate fantasy – (the hole thang….)

"I want the (w)hole thang," she's sayin, Miss Lindsey

bikerlaureate December 6, 2012 at 1:59 pm

I predict… a Caucasian.

Lizzietish81 December 6, 2012 at 2:01 pm

They'll just put a vacuum cleaner next to a microphone to simulate the giant sucking sound of his presence.

drbill0620 December 6, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Or Miss Lindsey makin a noise interviewing new candidates to replace Da-Mint.

actor212 December 6, 2012 at 2:06 pm

They'll cram someone in Lindsey, never fear.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 6, 2012 at 2:07 pm

A human butt plug so to speak.

actor212 December 6, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Or bookmark, yes.

OzoneTom December 6, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Don't they just bend-over a page?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 6, 2012 at 2:18 pm

A tire iron could fill that hole.

RadioBitchFace December 6, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Rusty Chainsaw?

chicken_thief December 6, 2012 at 2:28 pm

She could nominate that fucker that used to claim he fucked her, just to get him out of the state.

bureaucrap December 6, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Don't forget "I'm announcing my candidacy for the 2016 Presidential Nomination, because Rick Santorum is a liberal traitor" justification.

ProgressiveInga December 6, 2012 at 1:44 pm

"…as well as for the opportunity to pontificate without actually having to pass legislation."
And this will be different for DeMint how?

asterixaverni December 6, 2012 at 1:45 pm

This means he'll be running for preznit in 2016.

What other loads of crazy and useless can North Carolina stick us with in his place?

DCBloom December 6, 2012 at 1:54 pm

HEY! Thats SOUTH Carolina. We NC people have our own wingnuts, thank you very much!

Terry December 6, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Walter B. Jones Jr., for instance.

GlowneyHouse December 6, 2012 at 2:28 pm

…and Virginia Foxx.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 2:10 pm

And hot balls!

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 6, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Did Miss Linsey and Jim have a spat or something? Those crazy kids can still work it out!

SayItWithWookies December 6, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Pfff — he's leaving now so he can get that sweet signing bonus before his taxes go up. Also probably renaming it the Hate Foundation, 'cause why be ashamed of it, right?

4TheTurnstiles December 6, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Fuckin' golden. Can we get Lauri Apple to illustrate the leap when Haley parachutes herself in there?

SpiderCrab December 6, 2012 at 1:48 pm

He's a closeted gay Mexican. His coming out party, while head of the Heritage Propaganda Mill, will mark a historic rebirth of the GOP.

chicken_thief December 6, 2012 at 2:30 pm

And will inspire Louie Gohmert, Rick Perrywinkle, and Marcus Bachmann to come out as well?

BZ1 December 6, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Good.Riddance.

bureaucrap December 6, 2012 at 1:48 pm

"I want to spend more time hiking on the Appalachian Trail."

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 1:49 pm

"I hung on to this job long enough to qualify for a pension and health benefits for life, now I'm going take another job where I can try to justify denying the maximum amount of people those very things!"

HistoriCat December 6, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Bing. Go.

Tengu December 6, 2012 at 1:49 pm

He leaves the Senate a better place than when he was there.

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Jimmy DeMented is leaving because he's tired of being the bottom junior senator from South Carolina.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 6, 2012 at 1:49 pm

So, what are the odds that Nikki Haley will appoint someone even more crazy? Or her former lover?

Terry December 6, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Both of those are pretty big categories actually.

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 2:14 pm

She could appoint Andre Bauer. That way South Carolina would be the only state represented by two gay senators. Take that Tammy Baldwin and Wisconsin!

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I heard his new TV series got cancelled, so he should have the time…

BoatOfVelociraptors December 7, 2012 at 1:07 am

Colbert might have a new use for his super-PAC.

SayItWithWookies December 6, 2012 at 1:49 pm

DeMint's resigning because he hopes, as a South Carolinian, that he'll be called upon to lead the second attack against Fort Sumter.

SorosBot December 6, 2012 at 1:50 pm

You know what the conservative movement could use in the battle of the ideas? New ideas, ones that haven't been overwhelmingly rejected by the American people, instead of the same old, same old "tax cuts for the wealthy, punish the women for being sluts with vaginas, the gays for liking the sodomy and the blacks and browns for not being white".

Lizzietish81 December 6, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Look, what part of "Conservatism can only be failed" are you people not getting?!

SorosBot December 6, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Keep fuckin' that chicken, Republicans.

YouFail4eva December 6, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Always a classic line

JustPixelz December 6, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Shhh. They might be listening.

BoatOfVelociraptors December 6, 2012 at 2:33 pm

SODOMY LIBEL! Sodomy can be enjoyed betwixt any set of genders.

SorosBot December 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Yes, but the wingnuts don't seem to know that.

Not_So_Much December 6, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Just take the money on the dresser and get the fuck out.

bobloblawlawblg December 6, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Don't let DeDoor hitya where the good lord splitya *ducksflyingtomatoes*

Pat_Pending December 6, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Oh hell, Randi Rhodes said that this afternoon…

Negropolis December 7, 2012 at 2:32 am

*ethnic whooping and hollering in the background from the studio audience*

rocktonsam December 6, 2012 at 1:50 pm

"I'm no leaving the fight"

Its just easier getting money this way!

Schmannnity December 6, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Leaving two years into a six year term. Who does he think he is, Sarah Palin?

Lizzietish81 December 6, 2012 at 1:56 pm

He served a full term already, he's way ahead of her.

Oblios_Cap December 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm

he needs to be given a 6-year term. In the pokey.

Mumbletypeg December 6, 2012 at 1:50 pm

"It's a great day to flee South Carolina's legislature!"

savethispatient December 6, 2012 at 1:50 pm

The Heritage Foundation must be really desperate for booze if it's opening the Creme DeMinth…

BoatOfVelociraptors December 6, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Uncorking it even.

Lascauxcaveman December 6, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Liberal bloggers nationwide groaned at the “battle of ideas” metaphor, knowing that they would thereby be forced to invoke the “unarmed opponent” cliché.

Well, as a lobbyist, he'll almost certainly be wealthy enough to buy a clue.

(Not that he actually will…)

weejee December 6, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Is that like buying a vowel?

BTW, we'll be over on the Peninsula this weekend to catch a blues guitar act tomorrow at the Upstage in PT. Will you be around PA this weekend, maybe we can stop by?

freakishlywrong December 6, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Hate to break it to you, Huckleberry, but the "conservative movement" needs a lot more than strong leadership in the battle of ideas; it needs ideas. Period.

MiniMencken December 6, 2012 at 1:52 pm

The Heritage Foundation: Roach Motel for Congresscritters?

Eve8Apples December 6, 2012 at 1:52 pm

The obvious choice for a replacement — SC's favorite son — Stephen Colbert.

Oblios_Cap November 30, 2012 at 3:20 pm

DID I WIN THE LOTTO?

Sounds like he won the PowerBall!

ThundercatHo December 6, 2012 at 1:52 pm

In the Battle of Ideers another soldier quits the field.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Brave Sir DeMint ran away.
Bravely ran away away.
When danger reared it's ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir DeMint turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 6, 2012 at 1:54 pm

In a press release, DeMint stated he was leaving the Senate to spend more time with with Satan and all his little wizards.

fatbob54 December 6, 2012 at 1:54 pm

i hope he's replaced by this guy: http://www.fitsnews.com/2009/10/27/alleged-cemete

MiniMencken December 6, 2012 at 1:55 pm

I hope Nikki Haley realizes this thing is fuckin' golden.

ProgressiveInga December 6, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Blago libel!

fuflans December 6, 2012 at 7:32 pm

and i hope her career takes the same path.

actor212 December 6, 2012 at 1:56 pm

DeMint also announced that he wanted to "spend more time with my wife, Linds– Debbie"

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 1:56 pm

So if "hiking the Appalachian trail" is South Carolina Republican code for "fucking around on your wife with some Argentinian broad" then what kind of perverse, wrong and deeply shameful sex acts and personal behavior could "resigning his seat in the Senate and taking a position at the Heritage Foundation" be a code for?

FNMA December 6, 2012 at 2:01 pm

My guess is it involves chickens and meth.

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Are you sure? Someone told me that prayerfully considering a primary challenge to Saxby Chambliss was the code for "deeply shameful and wrong chicken-fucking meth binge."

chicken_thief December 6, 2012 at 2:35 pm

But not chicken thieves. Just for the record….

BoatOfVelociraptors December 6, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Does it involve a red meat.com situation?

MaxNeanderthal December 6, 2012 at 1:56 pm

"needs strong leadership" -so let's fuck off to a place where we can just talk the talk, with no danger of ever having to walk the walk…

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Isn't "talking the talk without walking the walk" the core principle of conservatism?

Mumbletypeg December 6, 2012 at 1:56 pm

DeMint, who has recently bloviated about the need to teach creationism in schools, should fit right in at the Heritage Foundation.

♪ "If I can — *beat* — make-it there, then
I'll make it — *beat*an-ywhere, it's up
to you, Think Tank —
'Think'…" *slaps knees, stifles guffaw* "…"Taaank'…" ♫ — Jimmy DeMint

actor212 December 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm

"I'm sorry…did I say 'ideas'? I meant 'beers.' The battle of beers."

Oblios_Cap December 6, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Good riddance to bad rubbish, as me old mum used to always say.

GinnehRED57 December 6, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Stephen Colbert is waiting by the phone…

actor212 December 6, 2012 at 2:09 pm

If Nikki Haley had any balls…

Negropolis December 7, 2012 at 2:34 am

…she'd be a dude.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 1:59 pm

I can't wait to see what kind of genius replacement the Punjabi guv'nor bestows upon us.

tracyhasfun December 6, 2012 at 1:59 pm

He's trying to bring his minty flava with him…spice up the old HF. Plus, 9 times more money.

bikerlaureate December 6, 2012 at 2:01 pm

But who will step up to put a personal hold on all that pending Senate legislation?

bobbert December 6, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Mike Lee.

ManchuCandidate December 6, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Deminty: I have to get me some of that sweet sweet RW Koch… money.

ThundercatHo December 6, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Srsly, what a great Yuletide season this is shaping up to be. We get to keep Bams and Sen. DeMinted is leaving. In other good news, Thundercub got accepted into his first choice college, with a scholarship! Also, too, my Wonkette goodies arrived in perfect shape and the mugs and shirt are too fab. Did you all get your Bobama holiday greeting card yet? I was very excited when I got mine.

elviouslyqueer December 6, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Dok, I demand you take down that picture of my mother RIGHT THIS INSTANT.

Guppy December 6, 2012 at 2:27 pm

… son?

Antispandex December 6, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Of course the big news here is that Nikki Haley finally gets to do something!

Exhausted66 December 6, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Other than some blogger.

rickmaci December 6, 2012 at 3:28 pm

..or her campaign manager.

Negropolis December 7, 2012 at 2:35 am

WIN the both of you.

StillGoinGreen December 6, 2012 at 2:04 pm

In other news:

Scott Brown was heard screaming, "GET ME A ONE WAY SEAT TO SOUTH CACKALACKY!!!"

Blueb4sinrise December 6, 2012 at 2:04 pm

BLAGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eve8Apples December 6, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Wasn't the Heritage Foundation responsible for the individual mandate to purchase health insurance which teabagger Republicans claim is communist?

As part of the Heritage Foundation think tank, will teabagger DeMint continue to condemn the individual mandate which was dreamed-up by his new employer overlord?

smokefilledroommate December 6, 2012 at 2:05 pm

My idea is bigger than yours.

actor212 December 6, 2012 at 2:45 pm

It's cold! SHRINKAGE!

elviouslyqueer December 6, 2012 at 2:05 pm

He also will be in line for a significant raise. DeMint is also not one of the richest members of Congress. On his 2011 financial disclosure report, DeMint only listed two assets, both IRAs, that are worth at least $1,000 each. He also received a book advance for his tome Now or Never last year of more than $43,000.

But of course he's doing this because he wants to effect substantive policy change. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

actor212 December 6, 2012 at 2:08 pm

He keeps his wealth in a *koffkoff* "blind trust" as all Congresscritters are required to. I'm fairly sure he's as rich as Croesus

Wile E. Quixote December 6, 2012 at 2:15 pm

That's pretty fucking weak for a "job creator".

Native_of_SL_UT December 6, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I am also seeking substantive policy changes because Mrs SL_UT spends my policies faster than I can make them.

GeorgiaBurning December 6, 2012 at 2:47 pm

He'll get big bucks on speaking gigs, and unload all the remaindered books. Time for DeMint to start making some coin.

JustPixelz December 6, 2012 at 2:10 pm

"…conservative movement needs strong leadership in the battle of ideas,"

"movement"? They're pretty stuck in Dubya's world so not much movement goin' on.

MissNancyPriss December 6, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I think he was referring to his bowels.

qwerty42 December 6, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Geeze, DeMint in a red, sequined dress is somewhat disturbing. Let's hope he takes the full tootsie look to Heritage anyway.

smokefilledroommate December 6, 2012 at 2:14 pm

He only goes full Tootsie on his dinner dates with Hambiscuits.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 6, 2012 at 2:15 pm

He goes half-Tootsie for quiet nights at home w/ a gallon of chardonnay.

Troglodeity December 6, 2012 at 2:12 pm

DeMint added: "And in the spirit of patriotic sacrifice, I will help reduce our crushing national debt by voluntarily foregoing the lifetime pension and health benefits to which I am entitled as a former Congressman and Senator."

Nah, just kidding.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 6, 2012 at 2:14 pm

This is good news for John Edwards.

neiltheblaze December 6, 2012 at 2:16 pm

For a second I thought this was another Onion story some Republican believed.

Some guys go through an existential identity crisis and buy a red sports car.
Others give up a sweet Senate gig in a state that elected Strom Thurmond seven times.

This story has made my day. He'll be so much easier to ignore now.

el_donaldo December 6, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Deep in his forest retreat, Alvin Greene casts his turtle bones on the floor, examines them, and consults his I Ching. He nods serenely. "Total change. By forgetting everything that I have done, I have ensured all I do will last eternity."

Mumbletypeg December 6, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I ♥ Alvin Greene…

emmelemm December 6, 2012 at 2:41 pm

The best part of this post was remembering the glory days of Alvin Greene.

HistoriCat December 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Stuef – is that you?

Allmighty_Manos December 6, 2012 at 2:24 pm

"At press time, the assumption is that Mr. DeMint is transitioning to the Heritage Foundation mostly for teh moneezas well as for the opportunity to pontificate without actually having to pass legislation."

So he will get paid more money to pontificate without actually having to pass legislation.

RadioBitchFace December 6, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Must be his Waterloo.

SuspectedDemocrat December 6, 2012 at 2:28 pm

In the marketplace of ideas, Republicans are marking down to close-out prices.

Chet Kincaid_ December 6, 2012 at 2:29 pm

OT: Super-Catholic Mexico's Supreme Court has paved the way for nationwide gay marriage:
http://www.salon.com/2012/12/06/mexican_supreme_c

Hordes of Gay Mexicans piercing our southern flank!! Every Republican's nightmare/fantasy!

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Finish the dang Wall of Voodoo!

I'm on a Mexican radio
I'm on a Mexican ho-mo radio

Lizzietish81 December 6, 2012 at 2:36 pm

WE'RE SURROUNDED BY THE GAY!!!!!!!!

iburl December 6, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Trouble down South, indeed.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm

"Buttplugs? Buttplugs? We don't need no steenkin' buttplugs!"

Negropolis December 7, 2012 at 2:39 am

Damnit! Beaten by progressive Mexico.

Slim_Pickins December 6, 2012 at 2:31 pm

The Heritage Foundation job seemed tailor-made for someone of Louie Gohmert's intellect. What happened? Was a Senate ethics investigation about to be announced?

Mojopo December 6, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Out of two possible thumbs up, I'm giving Tootsie DeMInt eleventeen! She gets bonus points for the stripper name!

Slim_Pickins December 6, 2012 at 2:33 pm

When the going gets tough, the wimps get up and leave.

OneYieldRegular December 6, 2012 at 2:36 pm

The Legislative Branch is on a roll. Yesterday they get rid of "lunatic;" today they get rid of "DeMint."

Lizzietish81 December 6, 2012 at 2:39 pm

I love the Internet
http://www.colbertforsenate.com/

poorgradstudent December 6, 2012 at 2:43 pm

DeMint translated: "Sorry jerks, but wingnut welfare means more to me than actually being in a position to help impose your backward-ass views."

iburl December 6, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Now we can truthfully say that the Heritage Foundation is DeMinted.

MozakiBlocks December 6, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Can he take Mitch McConnell with him?

oenspiek December 6, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Nothing in his Senate career so becomes him as quitting it, like a Palin.

rickmaci December 6, 2012 at 3:27 pm

"…knowing that they would thereby be forced to invoke the “unarmed opponent” cliché."

Is it still a cliche if it is true?

DahBoner December 6, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Why can`t kids today just GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY WITH STICKS….

Rebootably_Joe December 6, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Demint is leaving the Senate to spend more time scolding his family for insufficient right-wing ideological purity.

Tommy1733 December 6, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Yet another grifter-quitter joins the fold.

lochnessmonster December 6, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Will we see him on CSPAN Washington Journal where we can yell at him via Twitter and FB or over the phone?

C_R_Eature December 6, 2012 at 6:24 pm
HistoriCat December 6, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Filibuster reform is already paying off.

deliman4 December 6, 2012 at 7:57 pm

I've never heard of a senator leaving the senate without doing something perverted This story smells!!

cletar December 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

And as part of his new duties, he'll have to visit a lot of the Heritage Foundation regional offices, which, coincidentally, happen to be in Iowa and New Hampshire. Check, and mate, Santorum!

docterry6973 December 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm

I guess it is harder than I thought for a Senator to steal.

You have to wonder why the Heritage Foundation is hiring this nouveau quitter when Lou Sarah is out there with plenty of swell ideas already.

jello_mold December 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

DeMint is crazy like a gohmert.

GoodDogThor December 6, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Ideas… we're against 'em!

Negropolis December 7, 2012 at 2:31 am

It's always been about the money. Even for their true believers, it's about the money. Heritage is going to pay the guy a million bucks.

ttommyunger December 7, 2012 at 11:49 am

Well, at least this rips off the very last vestige of the Heritage Foundation's supposed "Non-Partisan" Status (if there was any left). DeMint won't add much new thought to this "Think Tank" which has done a lot more tanking than thinking here recently. This is good news all the way around.

widestanceromance December 6, 2012 at 2:30 pm

"Get me Kortney on the phone–STAT!"

emmelemm December 6, 2012 at 3:01 pm

L O L

(literally – getting funny looks in office)

PopeEdgardo December 6, 2012 at 4:04 pm

AOTK.

Sorry. Always wanted to do that.

jqheywood December 6, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Well-played!

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