Jim DeMint Has Had Enough Of Your Stupid Senate

South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint (R-R'lyeh) announced that he will resign his U.S. Senate seat in January to become president of the Heritage Foundation. Sen. DeMint, just two years into his second term, will be trading "public service" (i.e., shaping policy to funnel government resources to contributors) for a "position in the private sector" (i.e., lobbying to get policy shaped to funnel government resources to contributors).

“I’m leaving the Senate now, but I’m not leaving the fight. I’ve decided to join The Heritage Foundation at a time when the conservative movement needs strong leadership in the battle of ideas,” DeMint said in a statement.

Liberal bloggers nationwide groaned at the "battle of ideas" metaphor, knowing that they would thereby be forced to invoke the "unarmed opponent" cliché. Curse you, Jim DeMint! 

DeMint's replacement in the Senate will be appointed by South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley, and will serve until a 2014 special election to serve out the remainder of the term. No word yet on whether Wonkette fave Alvin Greene is in the running for that appointment; we will assume that, since he has said nothing on the matter, he actually has said Everything on the matter, and will take DeMint's seat in spirit, if not in material reality. (Say, how did Jack Stuef write that stuff, anyway?)

At press time, the assumption is that Mr. DeMint is transitioning to the Heritage Foundation mostly for teh moneez, as well as for the opportunity to pontificate without actually having to pass legislation. Reckless speculation about other possible motives would be irresponsible, but inevitable. Mr. DeMint, who has recently bloviated about the need to teach creationism in schools, because it is a science fact, should fit right in at the Heritage Foundation.

[ The Hill ]

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