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New York Public Advocate Stone Cold Changing All The Lesbians, One Wife At A Time

no longer gay. still completely cray.Today we learned that in NYC, there is something called a “Public Advocate.” This is not a description of a thing, but an actual job, like “truck driver” or “pole dancer.” The public advocate is kind of awesome and we wish we had one:

The job of the Public Advocate is, most fundamentally, that of a watchdog, ensuring that all New Yorkers receive the City services they deserve and have a voice in shaping the policies of their government.

Apparently, if you are THE public advocate, you are able to be a watchdog AND just stone cold go around  changing lesbians into hasbians:

Prior to meeting Mr. [Bill] de Blasio, Ms. [Chirlane] McCray identified as a lesbian and had several long-term relationships with other women. In a seven-page essay she wrote for the September 1979 issue of Essence magazine entitled “I am a Lesbian” she frankly discussed her sexuality and expressed gratitude that she came to terms with her preference for women before marrying a man.

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Yesssss. Let us be the first to say (ok, probably like the one-millionth to say) NICE GOING PUBLIC ADVOCATE DUDE YOU ARE A STUD WHAT IS YOUR SECRET. Now, to be fair, Mr. Sex God Public Advocate may have had the path smoothed for him just a little bit here:

Ms. McCray wrote. “Coming to terms with my life as a lesbian has been easier for me than it has been for many. Since I don’t look or dress like the typical bulldagger, I have a choice as to whether my sexual preference is known.”

Oh. We are now much less impressed, Mr. Sorta Hot Public Advocate. Errrebody knows it is WAY harder to change up the typical bulldagger. Jeez. We learned that in kindergarten, right after reading The Giving Tree. Also, the good (?) people at Politicker aren’t as easily impressed as yr Wonkette because they’re busy focusing on the hard-hitting questions:

It is unclear how she transitioned from a self-described lesbian who was confident that she “had always been more attracted to women, both emotionally and physically, than to men” to a political wife in a heterosexual marriage.

Yeah, Politicker. Way to point that out. Everybody knows the old saying: once you go gay, you can never go the other way. We learned THAT in first grade right after reading Where the Wild Things Are.

[Politicker]

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137 comments

  1. Tundra Grifter

    After an elegant and tasty lunch, President Obama walked Gov. Romney to the door. They shook hands one last time, and then he strode to his waiting towncar and slid into the back seat.

    As it pulled around the drive and out from under the portico, Gov. Romney took one brief look back through tear-filled eyes, his heart filled with regret over what looked for a brief, glorious moment like it was to have been his.

  2. Barbara_

    Rebecca and I would like to invite all of you to our gay wedding in Washington today. Gift ideas include 1 oz of weed.

    1. FlownOver

      I'm designating FlownOver Acres as the Official Washington State Embassy in Baja Nebraska. Smoke 'em if ya got 'em.

      We'll get around to the interstate implications of the Gay Marry stuff as soon as the Doritos run out.

    2. jodyleek

      Aww, crap! I didn't know you wanted weed. Does that mean I need to return the double ended dildo I already had gift wrapped?

  3. eggsacklywright

    I'd turn into a lesbian if I could get into Anne Heche's pants. But I think she's just a part-timer.

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          Meh. Bulldagger.

          (Of course I don't mean that, but the word 'bulldagger' is just far too good not to use in every possible conversation.)

    1. JustPixelz

      Me too! and I'm a non-female so I'd me more of a male lesbian. (yeah, yeah I know it's Robin Williams' bit)

        1. JustPixelz

          politically incorrect joke:Two gay guys are sitting on a park bench enjoying the pleasant day when a beautiful woman comes walking along the path. She is absolutely stunning. They can't take their eyes off her as she walk past them and around the bend out of site. One of the guys then turns to the other. “It's times like this I wish I were a lesbian”.

  4. MacRaith

    So where are those wild things, anyway? I can never find them, no matter how many times I get sent to my room without supper.

  5. Negropolis

    Wow, talk about an odd couple. I'm skimming through the article linked and it gets more confusing as it goes along.

  6. BaldarTFlagass

    So, straight guy marries lesbian woman? No one got upset that Michele Bachman married a gay man. Fucking double standard.

        1. glasspusher

          All the young girls love Alice
          tender young Alice they say
          come over and see me
          come over and please me
          wait 'til my husband's away

    1. PugglesRule

      *sets transdar to stun* No, I don't think so. More likely Ms. McCray was "experimenting". Also she seems pretty dismissive of "stereotypical" lesbians now that she's married to a man. Maybe she hasn't met enough lipstick lesbians to know she's not the only one who wasn't butch.

  7. LesBontemps

    I can't believe we are this far down the comment thread and no one has made a "Pubic Advocate" joke yet.

  8. JustPixelz

    In most states, a gay man or lesbian needs to marry the opposite sex to get health insurance as spouse and tax benefits, etc. Repubicans are actually proud they make gay/lesbians couples pay higher single tax rates.

  9. gullywompr

    I don't know why Politicker is so skeptical, who among us hasn't tuned a lesbian or two straight, right guys?

    1. HarryButtle

      I did! I did!

      OK, actually she's bisexual, but she was living with a flannel-wearing, construction-working bulldagger at the time I seduced her with my manly charms. And 20 years later, we're still happily together! (Got punched in the face by that bulldagger, too.)

  10. Mumbletypeg

    Meh. "Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"… Personally I always found the current of attraction more interesting when it reversed in the opposite direction. And no I don't mean Lohan/ Ronson; more like Naomi Watts, Mulholland Drive.

  11. jello_mold

    Isn't every woman presumed to be a lesbian at least once in her life? I've been gay-baited because I was wearing, I guess, the wrong kind of pants.

    1. Terry

      When I moved to Texas, I learned that two women dancing together was proof they are lesbians. I had to break the news to my elderly female relatives who polka together at weddings while the elderly men drink beer at the bar.

    2. finallyhappy

      So on the Walking Dead this week(or last week), a guy tells a woman she is a lesbian- she says she isn't but he points to her short hair- because we know short hair is lesbian hair. I once had a hairdresser in the 70's(Paul Bosserman- formerly of Charles the First- DC people- remember him) who cut my hair super short and wanted to dye it purple- he thought I would look like some young (male) rocker he liked. I didn't realize my hair was being cut so short but i said no to the purple. I took the train home that weekend- and my dad couldn't find me on the platform because of the short hair- but he didn't ask if I was gay. So I wasn't gay before or after the haircut

    1. actor212

      Her choice was diBlasio or Christine Quinn, who is the most hated woman in NYC.

      That would straighten me up if I was a lesbian, I tell you whut.

      1. Negropolis

        Christine looks like she'll cut a bitch, and not just with votes, though she's pretty good at doing it with votes, too.

        1. actor212

          Ever since she cut the deal with Bloomberg for a third term while getting access to his fundraising Rolodex, no one has given her much thought as a candidate. I think she gets her lunch stolen in the primary.

          I know I'm voting against her for selling out the poor children of the city. She cut healthcare for them and eliminated the oldest public health program in the United States, free dental care for poor kids.

  12. Negropolis

    Sounds to me like Ms. McCray found herself a stable, predictable meal ticket, and God as her witness, she'll never go hungry (or gay) again! Bless her heart.

  13. UW8316154

    Ms. McCray wrote about how she met her first female lover at freshman orientation at Wellesley.

    Lesbians at Wellesly? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you. Who would have thunk it?

    1. Negropolis

      Lesbians at Wellesly? What is this world coming to? Next, you'll tell me they let whites into Howard. Wait, what? They what now!?

      **faints**

  14. StillGoinGreen

    I have to give it to Mr. Blasio for setting his goals higher than most – he was able to flip a black lesbian – that takes some skill for a saggy-balled white guy!

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Kinda like Tom and Helen Willis, on "The Jeffersons"? Well, we don't know about the lesbian part.

  15. mrblifil

    The Observer is basically a pamphlet for the NYC real estate industry, who essentially own the city. One suspects that Mr. DiBlasio (who used to be Hillary's campaign manager and then my city councilman at one point) has been found to be unwilling to play ball regarding some kind of transaction or other and now must pay a price. The fact that his wife is also blackety-black-black-BLACK is considered a character flaw too delicious not to exploit.

  16. TavariousChinaSmith

    Let me get this straight (heh heh), she thought she was lesbian but then went and shacked up with a dude. If only there was a name or a label we could apply to people who are attracted to both sexes, maybe with a reference to the number of genders these people like to get with. Dual-philic? Double-horny?

    1. Negropolis

      No, she didn't just have some college fling/experiment. She had long-term relationships with women prior to marrying her husband, and publically self-identified herself as a lesbian. She may very well be bisexual; only she really knows, but let's not portray this as some youthful expirementation, because she sure didn't.

      1. TavariousChinaSmith

        Never said, implied, or thought that her lesbianism was youthful experimentation. Just looking for that elusive word that might be used to describe people who one way or another are attracted to both sexes. And I certainly attach no stigma to bisexuality (ooh hey, that works).

    2. Guppy

      Ehhh… I've known at least one bisexual woman who self-identified as "lesbian" more for the political orientation than anything else.

      1. Rebootably_Joe

        On the other hand, I used to date a woman who did -and still does- self-identify as a lesbian because she has been pretty much exclusively interested in women, with one notable exception. I definitely didn't "turn" her, and she definitely wasn't a liar.

        I don't think this is actually as super-bizarre as people are making it out to be. Even people who are very close to Kinsey 1's or 7's will sometimes chance upon someone of the non-preferred gender that they're nevertheless intensely attracted to, and might even sleep with; doesn't mean they're wrong to say that they're gay or straight.

        1. TavariousChinaSmith

          Totally agree, and I'd posit this fluidity is much more common in women than men. In other words, not a big deal all, and for this and many other reasons not what I'd call "newsworthy".

          1. Rebootably_Joe

            Meh, I dunno. There is that stereotype that women trend more towards the middle of the Kinsey scale whereas men trend more towards the extremes, but on the other hand, that ends up becoming a form of social reinforcement that makes it less acceptable for men to adopt a label synonymous with the middle, versus identifying as a gay man who is occasionally attracted to women or a straight man who is occasionally attracted to men.

            I honestly think this particular issue, of people who strongly identify with attraction to one gender or the other, but still have some rare exceptions, is common enough among both sexes, though very few people actually admit it, and only a subset of these would consider themselves bisexual, particularly if they don't ever act on said attraction.

          2. TavariousChinaSmith

            I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. After all, nobody really knows what's in someone else's head. Sometimes we fail to recognize what's in our own heads. So yes, maybe there are just as many men who are straight or gay with exceptions, or who flex from one orientation to the other, as there are women.

            But really we can only judge human behaviour by what people actually act upon and do. And from that point of view (with one big exception) women seem to switch more often than men do. (The one big exception is the cohort of closeted gay men who eventually came out, or those who stay closeted but find some on the side, and I probably shouldn't put that in the past tense as much as I'd like to.)

  17. malsperanza

    I am so looking forward to the mayoral race here. De Blasio is running against the City Council Speaker (president), Christine Quinn, who is an out lesbian, and the Comptroller, Bill Thompson, who is black. It's gonna be a festival.

    Quinn is the front runner, but I am really really hoping Anthony Wiener and Eliot Spitzer both throw their hats in the ring.

    After all, we live in a state whose first governor was that great Parliamentarian George Clinton http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuyS9M8T03A.

  18. Lizzietish81

    Wow…its almost like human sexuality is more fluid than we think and that love and sexual attraction aren't always the same thing, like we as individuals are more than our assigned gender.

    1. Swampgas_Man

      Well, that's just crazy. Everyone knows you receive your gender ID, Official Sexual Orientation packet and Official Political Stance from the SSI office within 7-10 days after birth.

      1. Chet Kincaid_

        Yeah, I guess. Neither one of these people is a hypocritical homophobe wingnut, so why is it any of our business? We're just chuckling idiotically like the source.

  19. Mahousu

    Science now knows the answer to the immortal question "What happens when the irresistible force of 'once you go black, you never go back' meets the immovable object of 'once you go gay, you're gay to stay*'?"


    * That's the way I always heard it back in kindergarten.

  20. Swampgas_Man

    Meh. You never hear about a woman changing a gay man (no comments about Marcus Bachmann until you can back his heteroness w/ solid evidence). As a more-or-less gai guy, I WELCOME a woman trying to change me.

    TAKE THE CHALLENGE!

  21. Wile E. Quixote

    This is a non-story Snipy. Get your shit together and get us some real meat or we're going to have to enlist your ass in Andrew Breitbart's army and you'll have to share a bunk with Matthew Boyle.

    1. commiegirl99

      This comment reminds me of the commenter who was furious that I was "making fun of" Barney Frank when I wrote the nicest post in Wonkette history about his wedding.

      Lighten up Francis.

      1. Wile E. Quixote

        You "…wrote the nicest post in Wonkette history"? Hey, I once wrote the sanest post on RedState.com, but I don't go around bragging about it because let's face it, it wasn't that hard. This is a non-story, now perhaps if Snipy were a better writer be could have mocked the Politicker for engaging in the same kind of shit that Dok Zoom mocked the Daily Caller for when they lost control of their sphincters and loaded up their Depends over an essay that Susan Rice wrote 26 years ago, and it looks like that's what he was trying to do when he finally got around to mentioning the Politicker at the end of the post.

  22. Wile E. Quixote

    Seriously Snipy, this is a non-story, it blows goats, get your shit together and give us something juicy, such as analysis of supreme Wingnut Jim DeMint resigning from the Senate and taking over the Heritage Foundation.

    1. ttommyunger

      H.F.- The Right-Wing Think Tank that has done a lot more tanking and a lot less thinking in recent years. S.C.'s gain.

  23. PugglesRule

    You know what's great? Most of the commenters on the story basically say, "And your point is?

    Maybe there is hope for humanity yet.

  24. Tommmcatt_Again

    Just FYI, you marry a dude and live a basically hetero life you lose the right to use the term "bulldagger". I don't get to use that, even as a huge queen.

  25. ttommyunger

    "Bulldagger"? Really? I'm thinking there are a couple of bars here in Atlanta where use of that term would get one cut, badly.

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