next time demand more stylish boots for your trampling fetishDear god, please don’t make us go look at Breitbart. No, really. We’ll look at WND. We’ll go watch Jonah Goldberg derp at The Corner. Just not Breitbart. Gah. OK, fine. FINE. We’re all going to regret this.  Apparently, the startlingly prolific “Rebel Pundit” has discovered that a TEACHER who is in a UNION went to a MARXIST conference. Can you stand what an amazing feat of journalism this is? Can you stand the horror of knowing that sometimes people in unions do what they want on their own time??

While a guest on a local Chicago radio show, Chicago Teachers Union (CTU) VP Jesse Sharkey was questioned over his recent participation in the Midwest Marxism Conference and refused to answer why he was there and what relationship the Chicago Teachers Union has with the conference and sponsoring organization, the International Socialists Organization. Sharkey, who was documented by Breitbart News attending the Marxist conference at Northwestern University last month, appeared caught off-guard and struggled to respond to the question.

Try as we might, we are unable to figure out why this warrants breathless reporting from “Rebel Pundit” or anyone else, but Rebel Pundit had already written about this last month in a breathless and oddly punctuated post where he detailed his horrifying treatment at the hands of the socialist-marxist-communist-communitarian-unionists. (Not clicking through? We don’t blame you. Short version: they figured out who he was and made him leave. NOT COOL MARXISTS).

Rebel Pundit probably couldn’t have squeezed another scare column out of the marxism conference except for the fact that the comsymp teacher was foolish enough to go on some right-wing radio show and get beaten about the head by the hosts for attending:

Proft: Where do the revolutionary movements fit into that coalition? I understand that a couple weeks ago that you appeared at the Midwest Marxist Conference at Northwestern University to talk about the important support that Chicago teachers get from revolutionary movements’ use of the strike weapon. What’s the alignment with Marxist organizations and revolutionary movements?

Sharkey: Ha, ha, ha, look guys, I mean, thanks…

Proft: That’s a legitimate question. That’s actually just happened. That’s actually true. That’s not McCarthyism.

Sharkey: Thanks for the 1950s McCarthyism.

Proft: It’s not McCarthyism.

Sharkey: Uh, uh, well look it, the, the, the um—every time that unions or social movements have raised issues about what’s fair and what isn’t in base and equality, people have branded them as communist. I, I know…

Dear right wing radio hosts and Breitbartians: it pretty much IS the definition of McCarthyism to insist that it is a big fat problem when people attend conferences that discuss sociopolitical and governmental structures you do not approve of. It is also deeply DEEPLY weird to keep following around minor union officials when they attend smallish conferences hosted by organizations that are so polite that they let you know you don’t actually have to read the suggested readings if you don’t feel like it. No one but Breitbartvillians believe that reading some short articles about the efficacy of strikes and the fact that the poors exist is a boot stamping on a human face forever.

Rebel Pundit is your new voice of freedom, America. Rebel Pundit is your new goddamn Winston Smith


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  • JohnnyBrooklyn

    I wonder what Barry's saying . . .

    How're those polls looking now haircut boy?

    47%? Ironically your share of the vote.


  • tessiee

    "I'll just take this chair… and this thermos… and this Free Hamburgers for Life at McDonald's card…"

  • Marx merely proposed capitalism of the kind Adam Smith did, where companies took personal responsibility for their products and the workers were the owners. You know, like any Silicon Valley start up like Apple or Google!

    I really wish these assholes would read a little.

    • BadKitty904

      You can't read books you've burnt.

      • Say, how are they going to burn e-books in the future? Throw iPads and Kindles on bonfires? Virtual flames?

        • BadKitty904

          Teabagger worms.

          • LesBontemps

            Hookworm. See Sarah Palin.

    • Esteev

      I hope you get a nice cot at the FEMA camp, Commie!

      • Tundra Grifter

        I call top bunk!

        • Esteev

          In FEMA camps, bunks call you, or something. That's what I heard anyway.

      • They have COTS?

        Sure beats the bedroll my corporatist slaveholder makes us sleep on.

        • Lizzietish81

          BUT YOU ARE FREE!

          • It's true! Every day, I get the 25th hour off!

      • Doesn't Breitbart's ghost get sent to FEMA camp? I'm confused.

        • Esteev

          His ghost gets sent to FEMA's custom-made Storage Facility.

  • Marx is the new Alinsky. Bet on it.

    • So another boogeyman that no one who is complaining about it really understands? Perfect.

      • I'm a Marxist of the Groucho kind

        • LesBontemps

          Say the secret word!

          • UW8316154

            Green Balloons! Green Ballons!

          • eggsacklywright


          • Why a duck?

          • Esteev

            Why a not a chicken?

          • I don't know why. I'm a stranger here myself.

          • Esteev

            I dunno, I'm a stranger here myself.

            EDIT: Damn, actor you're quick on the draw today!

          • I missed my cue, peeing.

          • eggsacklywright

            Viaduct? Vy not?

          • Well, see, the water's deep here, so that's why a duck.

          • SigDeFlyinMonky

            We'll pass over that.

  • Pragmatist2

    Once, when I was in Band Camp, they taught us to play Summertime which was from Showboat which once starred Paul Robeson who later lived in the Soviet Union. It is too late to arrest all the camp counselors?

    • Guppy

      Yes, but how did you manage to fit Das Kapital into your vajeener?

    • Terry

      Yes, but only for making you play that song, not for the connections an actor who was in the musical might have.

    • Esteev

      The campers may have been indoctrinated too. Might as well ask them a few hard hitting questions on a lame radio show.

    • JustPixelz

      I call bullshit! Summertime is from Porgy and Bess.

      And the livin' is easy.
      Fish are jumpin'
      And the cotton is high.

      The obvious deconstruction is "communism".

      • Pragmatist2

        In the Commy world it's from Showboat. Besides both are sort of about the blahs in the South n te Good Old Days.

  • Why was Sharkey at a Marxism conference? Because this is still AMERICA. MYOB

    • BadKitty904

      As my Granddad used to comment: "This is America. Everyone has a right to go to Hell in their own way."

  • No, it's not me… my FIRST name is Sharkey, not Jesse.

    • PopeEdgardo

      Come clean, pal. Breitbart DOCUMENTED it!

  • larryfinexx

    Can't we trace these commies through those debit cards and by seeing who buys herring at the supermarkets?

    • BadKitty904

      And VODKA!

    • That's PRECISELY the kind of thinking that the right wing is desperately searching for! I see big things in store for you, young man! You'll go places.

      • YouFail4eva

        Granted most of them start with "dump" and end with "ster", but still, places, man!

    • Comrade Kippers?

    • BadKitty904

      Just so we're all on the same page, here's a handy guide on How to Recognize a Commonist –

      • Yea, I'd say clocking in at a job at "Down With Imperialists, Inc" might be a giveaway.

      • Toomush_Infer

        I wish some of my kids would have "freed [themselves] from the lingering value of family life" at an earlier age…in fact, there's a great-nephew living with us now who could use a couple copies of The Daily Worker…thanks for the suggestion…

  • Oblios_Cap

    Most of what Marx said is a lot truer than the crap we're indoctrinated with from birth.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Bible, anyone?

      • Terry

        The most conveniently interpreted document on Earth. The US Constitution comes in second.

        • Lizzietish81

          Also most quoted without actually read….

          again Constitution comes in second…

    • Esteev

      That's exactly what Marx woulda said!

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    I read on the internet that Breitbart has been reincarnated as an Acorn, so how does this fit into their narrative.

    • Couldn't be. Acorns are useful.

      • Loch_Nessosaur

        I was going with the now defunct community organization.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I thought "Acorn" was the average penis size over there at Breitbart.

    • Esteev

      He was certainly a Nut when he was alive.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Methinks "Rebel Pundit" is desperately trying to deflect attention away from the fact that he recently attended a Furry meet-up dressed as an enraged badger with a comically distended penis.

    • Lizzietish81

      Worse, his My Little Ponies Fanfic was accidentally posted with his work email and not the fake one which supposedly belongs to a 12 year old girl in Oklahoma.

    • Pundit went as Scott Walker???

    • BadKitty904

      I suspect he may be paid by the word and is desperately trying to cadge a paycheck. Right-wing, paranoid rags need copy, too, ya know.

      • PopeEdgardo

        Such cynicism in one so young. Tsk tsk.

        • BadKitty904

          I prefer to think of it as "being realistic." These douches – Limbaugh, O'Reilly, Beck, Carlson, et al. – will write/say whatever paranoid BS their audiences will buy.

    • Has anyone pointed out the dissonance between Rebel Pundit and defending the status quo yet?

      • BadKitty904

        What are you, some kinda radical?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I'm sure that the "rebel" to which his moniker refers isn't the socially evolved type; more likely it's the wanna-own-slaves star-and-bars pointy-hood secede-from-the-union type rebel he wishes to emulate.

        Hey Hey Hey!!
        I was Barney Rubble!!
        Down in Dixie
        In the Town of Bedrock!

        • Oh, hm, I didn't think they knew how to write.

  • Never trust those shyster teacher types with their reddin', writin' and 'rithmetic…

  • WhatTheHolyHeck

    It's probably best that this is where they followed him; imagine their outrage if they'd tailed him his book club meeting. The Hunger Games is totes his blueprint for oppressing Real Murkins.

  • Negropolis

    You don't even want to know what conservatives do on their off time. No, really, you don't.

    • Lizzietish81

      I suspect its boring actually. Sitting on the computer at WND while Fox News plays in the background.

      Its how I spend my evenings, except I'm on WoW and bad sci fi is on in the background.

    • Esteev

      Stretching, so the wide stance doesn't hurt?

    • BadKitty904

      I suspect they do the same thing they do during their on time – seethe.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Every minute is the Two Minutes Hate for those folks.

      • Negropolis

        Seething is far too calm an activity for them.

    • PugglesRule

      Fap to Caribou Barbie and Ann Coulter audio?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I bet the wimmen at that commie-fest probably had hairy legs and armpits, too.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I wieghed myself last night and, surprisingly, had gained 5 pounds since T-giving. So I decided to take the mile walk this morning around the parking lot that surrounds this compound consisting of the offices of public servants. My god, some of the bumper stickers were just fucking nuts. "Beware liberals posing as Americans"? Are you shitting me? Apparently, to some folks, their way of thinking is the only "correct" way.

    All of the disparaging stickers had a right-wing flavor. Odd, but I didn't see any stating that gun nuts and god botherers were being Unamerican. It's not unlikely that if we let these bastards back into power, a HUAC might be formed.

    The really bizarre thing is that, as public sector employees, they should know better.

    • Loch_Nessosaur

      You don't work in Idaho, do you?

    • freakishlywrong

      "Beware liberals posing as Americans"?

      How fucking "Real American" of them.

    • TootsStansbury

      Most Gummint workers I know are wing nuts. Never understood that and probably never will. Maybe they see it as infiltrating the enemy and destroying it from within.

      What. I look good with this colander on my head.

    • You need to drink a lot of water before your next walk and time your walks to your urinary cycle.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      There are few things I hate as much as libertards/conservatards who suck on the public tit. Whenever I find out that one of them is working in the public sector I damn well make sure to tell them that the only reason they have a government job is because they're a loser who can't hack it in the private sector.

  • DaSandman

    Meanwhile in hell Andy is being tag teamed by Marx, Lenin and Stalin. Three holes, no waiting.

    Karma balances all in the end.

    So to speak.

    • "Hey, Andy, we have air conditioning over here! No, you have to build your own…"

  • MrDorkbutt

    Of course had he gone to a white supremacist meeting they wouldn't have a problem with it.

    The problem is that Marxism doesn't hate the browns enough.

  • Oblios_Cap

    If our system is so damn wonderful, why is anybody threatened by the fact somebody else had gone to a Marxist convention?

    • BadKitty904

      Because they have to have copy in order to sell advertising space?

    • Tundra Grifter

      Do any of these right wing nutz understand Israel was founded as a SOCIALIST country?

      "Kibbutz" doesn't mean watching other people play a game while offering them advice.

  • mavenmaven

    The real purpose of meetings like this is generally understood to be this (and I'm flying off to a meeting today for the same reason):

    Dinner & Drinks: at the Celtic Knot (626 Church St. Evanston, IL 60201 – 2 blocks from the Davis stop on the Purple Line & All Ages [must be 21 to drink] )

    • You've got a junket to Northwestern today?

      • mavenmaven

        I wish. This one is in atlanta…

    • So it's basically like "Drinking Liberally" only with fewer hot chicks?

  • mrpuma2u

    Comrade Stalin salutes you, Operative Sharkey!

  • Lizzietish81

    So, is Communism an airborne infection like homosexuality. If I caught bisexuality from hanging out with the LGBT peeps in college, does that mean that time I passed by the two groups of Socialists arguing over the finer points of their philosophy infected me with Socialism?

    • Esteev

      The only cure is a job at Walmart.

      • Lizzietish81

        Can I try a homeopathic remedy instead? Like reading Marx's works while having sex with women in a pool?

        • Esteev

          Only if you have a working webcam.

    • Instead of sneezing, you start spouting phrases like "Workers of the world, Unite!"

  • StillGoinGreen

    I would probably be kinda bent out of shape if I heard that a conservatard attended a GodJesus Gay-hater Black Hater Poor Hater Gun Toter Conference. On the other hand, if I heard someone attended the annual Eagle Forum Collegians Leadership Summit, I might not really give a shit. It's all in the name, I guess??

    • Esteev

      Kinda like a Clean Coal Conference, amirite?

      • StillGoinGreen

        If you hover over my avatar (don't worry, I clean it regularly!) you will see that you have touched me in my tickle spot!

        • Esteev

          You saw what I did there! The tiny avatar simply screamed to be hovered over.

  • Oblios_Cap

    So your brother's bound and gagged

    And they've chained him to a chair

    Won't you please come to Chicago

    Just to sing

  • BaldarTFlagass

    One thing I bet is true: no one was dressing up in silly Revolutionary costumes at the Midwest Marxist Conference. 1776 or 1917.

    • BadKitty904

      Thanks, Baldar. I just pictured an auditorium full of folks wearing fake Marx beards and busted out laughing here in the liberry…

    • Tundra Grifter

      Nice hat! Does that guy's head have three corners?

    • Lizzietish81

      I went as a member of the Agricultural Revolution

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Hope you didn't get too plowed.

        • PopeEdgardo

          Or fertilized, God forbid.

    • GlowneyHouse

      Finally. A place where I can wear my Eugene V. Debs costume and someone will know who I'm supposed to be.

  • proudgrampa

    I hope that Rebel Pundit doesn't find out that I read Mother Jones Magazine on a regular basis.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I had to cancel my subscription to that magazine. I was afraid that the outrage and fury it evoked was going to result in my having a stroke or something, and being single that would result in my dogs having to eat my carcass. So now I just dip my toe in the water over at their website now and then.

      • I had the same reaction to Highlights for Children.

        Stupid Goofus….

  • Guppy

    Dear god, please don’t make us go look at Breitbart. No, really.

    (insert tasteless joke involving decomposition here)

    • LibertyLover

      There's a "smokin' Joe Biden" coffee cup on the Resolute desk! But no sign of a coaster though. Damn, don't the Obama's have ANY class?

    • "Welcome, my American friend! I trust the Fruit Of Islam's pat-down was not excessively brusque. To business, then: all of your houses and cars have been nationalized."

      Oops, this may be too highbrow for actor212. "Ooga-booga!"

    • LesBontemps

      At least he's still dead. And the sun shines a little brighter, the birds sing a little cheerier.

  • freakishlywrong

    And for fuck's sake. Rebel Pundit?? Really?. Secede, bitch.

  • Dear god, please don’t make us go look at Breitbart

    I’m not going to click link thingy lest I be struck with a plague of boils.

    • Esteev

      Or Boyles?

  • Sharkey's Red Machine!

  • The comment section is priceless, as always, with comments that range from "throw him in jail!" to "hang him!" 1st Amendment is only for those who agree with their speech.

    • Oblios_Cap

      "Right Thinking."

    • Cicada

      Reading wingnut website comments makes it very clear that all of their dithering about librul jackbooted thugs is pure projection.

    • Esteev

      I'm going to take your word for it. I'm already a bit Face Punchy today.

  • schvitzatura

    If you want a picture of the present, imagine a stylish John Lobb Redmire plaintoe monkstrap (available in black only, through Barneys New York, $1795) stamping on a human face — until conditions improve.

    • You just gave me an idea for a photoproject…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Lenin/Trotsky beards and Stalin porn-staches were where my mind was, but Marx works…

  • Tundra Grifter

    "Sharkey…appeared caught off-guard and struggled to respond to the question."

    Because it was the world's dumbest question?

  • Doktor Zoom

    As I've mentioned, I work part-time at the family court office; last night, I was helping with the kids' class that runs in conjunction with the mandatory class for divorcing parents. A guy who announced that he doesn't want the government imposing itself in his life was very angry when he learned that his two kids were not actually required to attend the class — rather, the order says "children should attend." There ensued a longish discussion between Mr. anti-government and his soon-to-be ex over whether they should reschedule their own class so that the children would not be subject to Tyranny. "See, we know that if we don't attend, we're in contempt of court. But if the order doesn't say the kids have to attend, we don't want them to have to listen to be subjected to that" — he did all the talking of course, because he knew his wife agreed with him on all this. (He also asked my boss, who was chatting with the kids while the parents debated this, to please not talk to them. She probably looked dangerously Marxist)

    After some discussion, the parents attended their class, and as they turned their precious children over to the woman who was teaching the class, Patriot Dad warned the children to stay together at all times and told the boy to take care of his sister.

    Once the guy was out of earshot, I said to my boss, "Jesus, I wonder why they're getting divorced? I just met the guy and I want him out of my life."

    • Don't worry. He will be building a cabin off the grid in Idaho soon enough to escape his child support payments and we will ALL be rid of him.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Maybe it was ex-Congressman Joe Walsh. He changed districts?

    • The wife was agreeing with him silently?

      Why they getting divorced? She sounds like the perfect redneck wife.

      Patriot Dad warned the children to stay together at all times and told the boy to take care of his sister.

      "Ain't no one gittin' in her panties scept me an' mah boy!"

      • Lizzietish81

        Maybe she wanted to get through it as smoothly as possible but was secretly counting down the days till she was rid of him.

      • Doktor Zoom

        Detail I'd forgotten to include: the boy was 8 and the girl was 10.

        • HistoriCat


    • BadKitty904

      Sadly illustrative of one of the REAL victims of Teabagger BS – their kids… :0(

      • Doktor Zoom

        Actually, according to one of the women who ran the class, the kids seemed bright and articulate and outgoing. My guess is that they're escaping just in time.

        • BadKitty904

          Please God! *crosses fingers*

  • I understand that a couple weeks ago that you appeared at the Midwest Marxist Conference at Northwestern University to talk about the important support that Chicago teachers get from revolutionary movements’ use of the strike weapon.

    So now a labor tactic is considered suspect because it's been used by a "revolutionary movement?" Yeah, I hear anarchists and malingerers use that "collective bargaining" thing too, and that drug dealers and grave robbers hang out at the "coffee shop." Maybe we should do away with those, too. I won't even mention our brave military's use of dead-of-night house-to-house searches because — well, you know…

    • BadKitty904

      Haven't unions been using strikes for over a century now? How revolutionary can they be?

      And, for that matter, wasn't *this* country created by a revolution?

      • While it's completely silly to demonize a tactic that lots of groups use for lots of different reasons, I somehow doubt that's gonna register with a dumbass who calls himself Rebel Pundit.

  • TootsStansbury

    And yet the far right rabidly opposes mild policies put into place to sort of keep the commieness at bay.

  • Toomush_Infer

    So the problem remains that half the country maintains I.Q.'s of less than 100 and none of their children are above average….the new revolution's Maginot Line will be on whether or not you can actually use the innertubes to find out stuff, or not…

  • Baconzgood

    What are you punditing

    You name it.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    If it walks like a douchebag and talks like a douchebag…

  • If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stomping on a human face — forever. — George Orwell

  • Funny, my AP Macro teacher in high school was a Marxist Union Thug from Chicago.

    Oh right; he was also a former marketing VP for Unilever who had dined with Barbara Walters on more than one occasion. His sinister revolutionary plot was a very long game, I guess.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    "the important support that Chicago teachers get from revolutionary movements’ use of the strike weapon."


    • GoodDogThor

      Yeah, 'strike weapon' sounds much cooler than it is in this context…

  • GeorgiaBurning

    I went to a Marxism conference, found it hard to stay awake. The movies pretty much stunk after "A Day at the Races"

  • smitallica

    I have occasionally attended Civil War reeanactments.
    Therefore I, and everyone I work with, now advocate slavery.

  • GoodDogThor

    Midwest Marxism needed to counter Illinois Nazis.

    "I hate Illinois Nazis!" – Elwood Blues

    (EDIT: Jake, not Elwood. Dog bless the Google…)

  • An_Outhouse

    I go to Marxist Conferences for the free doughnuts.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I assume they ration them out equally to all attendees, which is why I don't go.

  • decentcitizen

    If dead social movements give the wingnuts nightmares, I wonder how they're gonna sleep when the revolution starts.

  • BZ1

    Nice lumping of all the enlisted military, public service workers, and union employees as Marxists, Communists, Socialists, Nazis and what not…

  • Cleopatriot

    What? Commies at Northwestern? The home of Garry Wills? Okay, and Bernadine Dorhn.

  • northwestern university, evanston IL, north shore, chicago = hotbed of revolution and left-wing agitprop.

    they you go to tommy nevins for a beer.

  • glamourdammerung

    I am not one to normally complain about ads, but is there a point to the auto play garbage beyond annoying me and making Firefox come to a complete stop?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Install AdBlock. Problem mostly solved.

      You could also install the Flashblock add-on, which keeps flash content from even loading. As a bonus, this speeds up page loading.

      Finally, to shut down html5 videos, there's a configuration switch (plugins.click_to_play) built into Firefox. Type about:config into the url bar, find it, and toggle it. Or install the Click to Play Switch add-on, which makes it a tad easier to do.

      No doubt some asshole programmer will find some new way to ram unwanted content into your face, but for now, a combination of the above three fixes does the trick.

      • glamourdammerung

        I was under the impression that using something to block the ads means that Wonkette does not get any money, but at the same time I really, really hate autoplay videos at random (especially when however they are set up brings everything to a total stop for a minute or two).

    • ttommyunger

      Turn volume all the way down….FIXED!

  • jakegittes

    Marx sure was wrong about Communism. But he sure was right about Capitalism.

  • ChicagoLory

    I'm a member of the CTU, and Ive attended a couple of commie meetings on invitation from teachers (not Jessie) who now work at the union offices. I am so proud of our union leadership.

  • ttommyunger

    But Breitbart is still dead, right?

  • DahBoner

    Winston tastes good. Like a cigarette should.™

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