EVE RUINED IT FOR EVERYONE (AGAIN)  12:57 pm December 5, 2012

Dennis Prager Channels Elephant Man, Is Shamed By Body, Not An Animal

by snipy

never fear. this outfit is still OK in SFSometimes there are slow news days here at yr Wonkette. People are dumb enough, but not funny, or funny enough, but fail to be dumb. Dennis Prager, however, always always comes correct. Whether it is his awesomely casual racism where he explains how black and brown peoples will not read the New York Times, his appeal to young people where he tells young people they are stupid, his thoughtful theorem that the poor are poor because they’re lazy, or his amazing online university where classes are only five minutes long, Dennis Prager is an endless font of dumb. Today he is mad SO MAD about nekkid people.

The reasons to oppose public nudity emanate from this Judeo-Christian list of separations.

When human beings walk around with their genitals uncovered, they are behaving in a manner indistinguishable from animals. A major difference between humans and animals is clothing; clothing separates us from — and in the biblical view, elevates us above — the animal kingdom.

If you, like any rational person, are wondering why the hell Prager is blathering on about this, you can blame San Francisco for banning the nakeds:

[Mayor] Lee is expected to sign the legislation, which exempts nudity at private beaches, private property and permitted special events — such as Bay to Breakers or the Folsom Street Fair — and doesn’t apply to children under 5 years old. Violators would be fined $100 for the first offense and $200 for the second in a 12-month period. Convictions under the proposed law wouldn’t result in a sex offense, but a third offense could bring a $500 fine or a misdemeanor.

Nudists have already sued the city over the ban; if it’s signed by Lee, a judge will consider whether to block the law at a hearing scheduled for Jan. 17.

Children can still be naked! Bears and leather boys at Folsom can still be naked! Only regular people cannot be naked! How did San Francisco take this news, you ask? DO YOU REALLY NEED TO ASK?

 …several attendees shed their threads in protest.

The half-dozen naked agitators shouted at members of the Board of Supervisors and were quickly seized by sheriff’s deputies armed with large blankets.

As they were hustled out of the chamber, two of the saggy-bummed nudists, one wearing only rainbow knee socks and another sporting thigh-high black nylons, shouted “Body freedom!” and “Shame on you!”

Please never ever change San Francisco. Though, to be honest, if yr Wonkette were to go nekkid, it would not include nylons, because WTF.

[Prager]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 226 comments }

Lot_49 December 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Is it still all right between consenting adults in the privacy of the bedroom, or is SF like Texas now?

Yellerdawg December 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

In Texas, you're just required to keep your boots and hat on. The rest can be covered by an artfully arranged blanket.

starfanglednut December 5, 2012 at 5:00 pm

And of course you must carry a firearm at all times.

Negropolis December 6, 2012 at 2:14 am

LOL!

Wile E. Quixote December 5, 2012 at 1:45 pm

It is, but not if you're standing up, because that might lead to dancing.

PubOption December 5, 2012 at 2:55 pm

I think that was only at Baylor.

One_who_wanders December 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

All the things wrong in the world and this guy is peeved by public nudity? Get a fscking life.

bikerlaureate December 5, 2012 at 2:40 pm

People making their own choices is a cause of all the things wrong in the world. Appropriate attire is yet another thing the godless libs are rebelling against.

ManchuCandidate December 5, 2012 at 1:01 pm

You'd figure he'd be more upset that the people who want to be naked are usually not the people you want to see naked.

Oblios_Cap December 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Amen to that.

SorosBot December 5, 2012 at 1:19 pm

From what I've been told, it's just gross old men; ugh I do not want to see that at all.

ManchuCandidate December 5, 2012 at 1:30 pm

That and Speedos. I nearly gouged my eyes several times as a lifeguard because of old fat men walking around in a banana hammock speedo.

Biff December 5, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Speaking as a gross old man, I concur.

Toomush_Infer December 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

That's why those thigh-highs were a really good idea….

Antispandex December 5, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Yes, I have heard nude beaches described as 80-20 beaches. 80 % are naked, 20 % should be.

CindynEncinitas December 5, 2012 at 4:54 pm

That's why I refuse to go to Black's Beach. If I wanted to see that, I'd get my old job back at the old folks' home.

BoroPrimorac December 5, 2012 at 2:22 pm

When I hit my Seventies, the wang is staying out permanently.

Jennyjen798 December 5, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Totally! I'm going to let my fun bags, which should be about stomach/knee length by then, just flap around in the sun. Awww I'm so happy for my future saggy titties. So carefree, not a worry in the world!

Barbara_ December 5, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Unless I am frying bacon, I am usually nude.

Oblios_Cap December 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Advice I have imparted to all my kids – Never fry bacon naked..

Barbara_ December 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

And never lick a steak knife.

elviouslyqueer December 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Or chop vegetables.

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Or play with the dog (or cat).

One_who_wanders December 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I am torn: I love bacon and I love nude women.

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:23 pm

"Makin' bacon", so to speak, is highly recommended.

Toomush_Infer December 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Do you refer to our Baconz?…

Maman December 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I'm naked now.

Guppy December 5, 2012 at 1:49 pm

"Casual Wednesday" has gone too far!

VodkaGoGo December 5, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Don't knock it until you've tried it, burning hot grease play can open up a whole new world to you.

sarjo December 5, 2012 at 1:01 pm

This is the accepted mode of filibuster in SF legislative circles. Wilibuster.

Geminisunmars December 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Make them stand and spout for hours.

edgydrifter December 5, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Four legs bad, two legs good, three legs bow-chicka-bow-wow.

FNMA December 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I like nekkid people.

gullywompr December 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Damn, isn't the whole idea of getting naked is to be an animal?

Ground Zero Mostel December 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Dennis who? No snark, seriously, Denis who? And why should I care what he thinks?

ttommyunger December 5, 2012 at 7:10 pm

He's a Limbaugh understudy.

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Unrelated, but I just figured out I passed 15,000 comments this morning. Now I'm gonna go take my clothes off!

gullywompr December 5, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Go nuts, pal!

sarjo December 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

You passed 15,000 comments this morning? Dude, what the hell did you have for dinner last night???

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm

You'd think after all that time I would have chosen my wording a little more carefully, huh?

emmelemm December 5, 2012 at 1:19 pm

This! Is! Wonkette!

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Talk to your doctor.

VodkaGoGo December 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Man, I haven't even hit 1000 yet, you guys make me feel lazy. We need some redistribution of comment histories here for those less fortunate commenters. "Gifts", if you will.

gullywompr December 5, 2012 at 2:03 pm

It's how you use it.

CindynEncinitas December 5, 2012 at 4:57 pm

You want comment donations? But you have more p than me.

elviouslyqueer December 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

PuckStopsHere December 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm

This nudity thing would be ok if they just remember to keep the lights turned off like normal people.

AlterNewt December 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I…uh…I wish to register my outrage as per this topic.

FlownOver December 5, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I object most strenuously to the previous registration of outrage.

AlterNewt December 5, 2012 at 1:59 pm

And I, in turn, find said strenuous riposte to be entirely unacceptable.

CindynEncinitas December 5, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Your outrage vis-a-vis this post is duly registered and will be strenuously ignored.

mrblifil December 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Somehow Rock Out With Your Cock Modestly Covered doesn't have that same je nais se quoi.

Barrelhse December 5, 2012 at 1:37 pm

It's just not poetry.

frostbitefalls December 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Who is this stupid guy? And what is he doing with all those old copies of Reader's Digest?

Baconzgood December 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Playing the air guitar, using dishes, yelling in traffic. These are the things that seperate us from beasts. Nothing more nothing less.

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Well, Jimi Hendrix occasionally played his guitar with his dick, so I'd say, most of the time…

MiniMencken December 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I grew up in San Francisco. The number of days in any given year when it was warm enough to go naked outdoors could usually be counted on the fingers of a catcher's mitt.

MiniMencken December 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I grew up in San Francisco. The number of days in any given year when it was warm enough to comfortably go naked outdoors could usually be counted on the fingers of a catcher's mitt.

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

No shit. Things I tell my friends back east:

1. It's usually warmer here on January 1 than July 1

2. August and October are switched, compared to the weather in NYC (still no thunderstorms or humidity, though)

mrpuma2u December 5, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Good point. No probs with being naked out of doors, but I am a fair weather nudist. Below 65? Fuggitabowdit.

Oblios_Cap December 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

major difference between humans and animals is clothing; clothing separates us from — and in the biblical view, elevates us above — the animal kingdom.

Probably one of the best arguements for not wearing clothes. Because we are animals, fuckknuckle!

Oblios_Cap December 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

major difference between humans and animals is clothing; clothing separates us from — and in the biblical view, elevates us above — the animal kingdom.

Probably one of the best arguements for not wearing clothes. Because we are animals, fuckknuckle!

CommieLibunatic December 5, 2012 at 2:04 pm

We decide when it is time to make the move. We are not slaves to the Turnings (seasons). It is what makes us different from the beasts we hunt. -fictional nomadic hunter/gatherer

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 1:05 pm

"clothing separates us from — and in the biblical view, elevates us above — the animal kingdom."

Well, maybe it's clothing for you, dude. It sure ain't "the ability to use reason and logic."

One_who_wanders December 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

For the win!

CommieLibunatic December 5, 2012 at 2:07 pm

I'd cite tool usage and self-awareness, nevermind that it's the opinion of a filthy atheist, or that we'd have to include chimps and crows.

Terry December 5, 2012 at 1:05 pm

"When human beings walk around with their genitals uncovered, they are behaving in a manner indistinguishable from animals."

His health club locker room must be….uh…interesting.

Guppy December 5, 2012 at 1:52 pm

They start throwing feces as soon as their pants hit the floor.

John Birf Society December 5, 2012 at 1:05 pm

He probably won't like my Tom of Finland dioramas on Christmas morning.

FakaktaSouth December 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I do hope they specified 5 years old physically and not by reasoning power, because the last thing I need is to see a bunch of naked teatards running around in just a tri-cornered hat.

bobbert December 5, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Ow! My Brainz!

DerrickWildcat December 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

The first thing I do when I get home is take my clothes off and hang them up or whatever because I don't want to get cat hair on them. True Story.

Geminisunmars December 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Hence your obvious superiority.

fuflans December 5, 2012 at 10:56 pm

yup.

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

This could make for interesting home games during future World Series.

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Nuke: I had a dream…I was playing damn nekkid…

Crash: I know, I have that dream all the time…

hagajim December 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Regular people should never be naked, not because of any religious thang, but because they are unsightly.

red_kira December 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Hence that pejorative "saggy bummed" snark in the article. Man that was mean! We know we look crappy nekkid!

CommieLibunatic December 5, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Gimme a break, I'm working on it!

MacRaith December 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Conservatives: "We need less government intrusion into – HEY, LOOK, A NEKKID WOMAN! ARREST THAT SLUT!"

Esteev December 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Also — "LOCK HER VAGINA UP!!1!"

CindynEncinitas December 5, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Yes, but get outta the way! You're standing in front of the teevee and the Victoria's Secret fashion show is on!

SorosBot December 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

"clothing separates us from — and in the biblical view, elevates us above — the animal kingdom."

Um, no, what separates us from the animal kingdom is absolutely nothing, idiot, because humans are a part of the animal kingdom. Or what, do you think humans are plants? Fungi? God what a moron.

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Protista LIBEL!

Barrelhse December 5, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Adam's Rib, baby!

walterhwhite December 5, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Well, some of them are fungi, I'm almost sure.

emmelemm December 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

So, what about when I dress my dog up in clothes? Is she then "elevated" in the sight of G-d?

sarjo December 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Nonpossible. God loves dogs best already, therefore non-elevatable. Simple. Unless she wears those little vinyl doggy go-go boots–then yes, elevated.

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Depends on whether she can still lick her privates.

Barrelhse December 5, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Does a dog have Buddha nature?

bobbert December 5, 2012 at 8:22 pm

MOO!

Guppy December 5, 2012 at 1:54 pm

And would it then be permissible to have sex with that dog?

What?

HistoriCat December 5, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Rick Santorum suddenly stopped what he was doing and stared off into the distance for several minutes.

Botlrokit December 5, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Side note: a very young-at-heart friend recently added a new phrase to my "Youthful Mens' Quotations" journal, which includes phrases like "it's never too late to have a happy childhood." His addition?

"If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."

emmelemm December 5, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Snark all the way off:

I may be an atheist or agnostic at best, so I don't believe in (people) heaven, but I know for a fact that all dogs are going there.

Botlrokit December 5, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Yeah! Fuck humans.

(you're including cats, right?)

emmelemm December 5, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Kitties too!

bobbert December 5, 2012 at 8:24 pm

You remember the Twilight Zone or Outer Limits (I forget) with the little kid and his dog wandering around the metaphorical woodsy lane (spoiler, dead), trying to figure out which entrance is the right one.

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 5, 2012 at 3:13 pm

I became agnostic at the age of 10 when my Sunday school teacher told me that my dog and cat were not going to heaven with me because they didn't have souls. Fuck that shit.

Botlrokit December 5, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I gave up on The Jesus completely when a) science, and b) a totally closeted gay friend died of self-inflicted lead poisoning. I got so fucking mad at g-d, and then realized "either he better not exist, or I will totally pwn Him for torturing that poor, beautiful person for no. God. Damn. Reason. At all."

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

A truckload of snark!

Botlrokit December 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Time for the Wonkette Lingerie Show!!

PubOption December 5, 2012 at 2:59 pm

With the so many panties from the bazaar?

Oblios_Cap December 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Were they painful, like kidney stones?

Joshua Norton December 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I have to switch from my bus to the Castro Station Muni underground right across from where all this takes place. Believe me, there's nothing hubba-hubba about a bunch of old pot-bellied exhibitionists with their junk hanging out. It's more like what you'd expect to see if Steven King wrote porn.

Biff December 5, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I'm a bit rusty, but 8 Market/L Taraval?

Joshua Norton December 5, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Dude. 8 Market is loooong gone. F Line vintage trolley cars took over that route. Which, coincidently, leaves from the Plaza where all the "nudists" hang out.

I switch from the 37 Corbett to take the Metro to Embarcadero.

emmelemm December 5, 2012 at 1:59 pm

I think you mean the nudists "hang" out. Get it??

Joshua Norton December 5, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I see what you did there. Never have scare quotes been more appropriate, 'cause a lot of them are down-right scary.

Biff December 5, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Damn, never thought they'd get rid of the old Muni lines. Now I'm terminally sad…

Botlrokit December 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

No, it points out that you're not helping things. Do you let it ride in your lap in the car, too?

emmelemm December 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Nope, she's spoiled and has a car seat. That she's tethered to.

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:37 pm

That bitch!

emmelemm December 5, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Tell me about it.

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:46 pm

If she sits in the back seat, would that make you Procyon? OK, maybe a bit too obscure..

Estproph December 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

So Prager is a NeverNude?

Dumbedup December 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm

sure, but he's deeply ashamed about it, like everyone was in the good ol' days.

smokefilledroommate December 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

If you removed the suit, he'd asphyxiate and die rather quickly.

Biff December 5, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Yes, and in need of an AnalRapist.

Esteev December 5, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Most of his writing is considered a Big Mistake.

Schmannnity December 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

These people are why Romney lost. Hey, everyone else was blamed, why not?

Mumbletypeg December 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Prager: when your grasp of empathy, your psychological acumen, and your analytical skills have evolved past the size of a Old-Testament sanctioned fig leaf, I'll listen to you then.

CommieLibunatic December 5, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Hey, not all of us can be as empathic as crows. Too bad we more often share their ability to hold grudges.

StealthMuslin December 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I wish to apply for a permit to carry concealed nudity.

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I guess that all depends on what you're packing…

Geminisunmars December 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I thought we were aiming for more transparency.

bobbert December 5, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Quite liking "concealed nudity".

Gayer_Than_Thou December 6, 2012 at 2:34 pm

There must be a "stand your ground" joke to be made here, but I can't quite come up with it.

Spurning Beer December 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm

What does Mr. Prager think about dog sweaters?

elviouslyqueer December 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Or, better yet, these abominations?

Spurning Beer December 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Jesus, those things don't separate us from — or elevate us above — slime mold.

CindynEncinitas December 5, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I just threw up a little…

DemmeFatale December 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

OT, but my old poodle gal wears a sweater, (for a little bit of extra warmth), and I am constantly surprised to find small children the most fascinated to see an animal wearing clothes. It's as if they relate to the silly(?) demands of big people.

IceCreamEmpress December 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Have y'all SEEN Dennis Prager? We should be glad that he chooses to wear clothing.

Oblios_Cap December 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I thought only Magic Mormon Underwear would elevate you in the eyes of the lord. Those and maybe some platform shoes.

RadioBitchFace December 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Nothing comes between me and my Calvins.

deanbooth December 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm

"behaving in a manner indistinguishable from animals"

I saw a youtube the other day of a chimp using a frog as a fleshlight. This puts termites on a stick to shame!

Blueb4sinrise December 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

linky?

Esteev December 5, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Blueb4sinrise December 5, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Awesome
What kinda frog ya s'pose?

Esteev December 5, 2012 at 2:01 pm

I'm no herpetologist but I assume a Horny Toad.

Negropolis December 6, 2012 at 2:21 am

Comment of the Year.

sarjo December 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm

"Fleshlight." Freaking me out.

NDeeeZ December 5, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Trouble is inserting the AA's…

smokefilledroommate December 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm

As he pulled his pants up, a nudist named Stardust said the legislation sent the wrong message.

Dude, like Woodstock was happenin' man! But like where am I?

Joshua Norton December 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm

When human beings walk around with their genitals uncovered, they are behaving in a manner indistinguishable from animals.

Step 1: Cut a hole in the box……

SayItWithWookies December 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Seeing any animal's genitals is normal.

Gets a mite lonely out there on the south forty, eh Mr. Prager?

Oblios_Cap December 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Prager looks like he belongs on the Island of Misfit Goys…

DerrickWildcat December 5, 2012 at 1:19 pm

"For every course viewed you will earn one credit. These credits can be applied towards acquiring a Prager University degree.
By sharing videos you will become eligible to enter contests and to earn cash and other prizes."
YAY!

"We don't have enough courses yet to offer a degree, but we will get there soon. However, you'll get credit (see above) for the courses you do take. When we're ready to offer our degrees, you'll be in the first graduating class!"
BOOOOOOO!

bobbert December 5, 2012 at 8:35 pm

"We are accredited by …

<crickets>."

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Whatevs. Just be sure to wear some flowers in your hair, anyway.

Guppy December 5, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Which hair?

iburl December 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

" A major difference between humans and animals is clothing; clothing separates us from — and in the biblical view, elevates us above — the animal kingdom."

Well, God created humans to live naked in the garden of Eden. It was only after Eve's sin that God decided to shame us into wearing clothes. Not sure how that translates to clothing "elevating" us above animals.

Biff December 5, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Also proves the Garden was nowhere near SF, because shrinkage.

Toomush_Infer December 5, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Because the animals didn't get to put on trousers for being smarty pants…. also, they were very starched, so we had to stand up on our hind legs…

cousinitt December 5, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Logic, how does it work?

Chow Yun Flat December 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

With all due respect, who the fuck is Dennis Praeger?

ttommyunger December 5, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Nobody. Absolutely nobody.

mavenmaven December 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Funny thing is, Prager was smart once (a long long time ago). Then he pulled a Gingrich with several divorces, and now he's totally full-on wingnut lunatic AM radio host. Its a shame, really.

DocChaos December 5, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Was he also insufferably pompous back when he was smart?

CindynEncinitas December 5, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Well then it's high time he became the newest savior of the Repugs. They've gone through every wingnut they had and they're needing to restock. Fish or cut bait, Prager! Sign up and start campaigning! Weeeeeeeee!

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Wasn't there an Emily Praeger featured in the NatLamp Yearbook parody?

Monsieur_Grumpe December 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

We don't have this kind of "problem" in Minnesota.

ManchuCandidate December 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

But then again, I don't think anyone in Cali ever dealt with Testicular Frostbite.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 5, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Oh ya da TFs. Brrrrrr. Chili. Woof!

bobbert December 5, 2012 at 8:37 pm

What, you have no Polar Bear Club?

Toomush_Infer December 5, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Not up here in Youperland, either….maybe one foolish polar bear per winter…

poorgradstudent December 5, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Even St. Olaf?

outragedcitizen December 5, 2012 at 1:28 pm

In another window, I have a bunch of girls acting like animals. I will be going there now.

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Red on the head, like the dick on a dog.

Goonemeritus December 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

“A major difference between humans and animals is clothing; clothing separates us from — and in the biblical view, elevates us above — the animal kingdom.”

As MAWG I am even uncomfortable being naked alone in the shower but my hobby of dressing my dogs up as famous political leaders from history still violates this rule.

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:30 pm

I think Bristol got her GED from Pregger University.

cousinitt December 5, 2012 at 2:44 pm

And she milked that for all it was worth.

OneYieldRegular December 5, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Dennis Prager has clearly never even been to San Francisco, or he would have recognized that in fact most of the city's animals wear clothing: cute little doggy sweaters, studded leather collars, mittens on paws. If I ever care enough to join in a protest around this issue (not likely), it's going to be to call for nudity for animals, not outlaw it for people.

Esteev December 5, 2012 at 1:35 pm

You know who else came armed with blankets?

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Ms. glasspusher, when we went to Tahoe?

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Well, it sure wasn't the Wehrmacht's Army Group North during the invasion of Russia.

NDeeeZ December 5, 2012 at 1:46 pm

…and it sure wasn't the US Calvary's Quartermaster, despite what faux Indian Ward Churchhill would have you believe…

Esteev December 5, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Speaking of Indians…

Negropolis December 6, 2012 at 2:24 am

Andrew Jackson?

DahBoner December 5, 2012 at 1:36 pm

How can I possibly believe the claims in this article WITHOUT ANY UNRELATED 'BRONY' GRAPHICS???
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/08/1208

Antispandex December 5, 2012 at 1:36 pm

"A major difference between humans and animals is clothing;"

Of course his very astute and erudite opinion lacks an explanation of why cultures that develope in temperate climates often use little, or no, clothing. They are dependent (generally) on some religion or social custom to tell them they are wrong to be naked. Having said that, I would DEMAND, if I were King, that Mr. Prager wear clothes. As a matter of fact, I would have a long list of folks who would have to "cover that shit up", as my little girls say. And NO, they did not learn to talk like that from me!

Blueb4sinrise December 5, 2012 at 1:44 pm

…cultures that develope in temperate climates often use little, or no, clothing.

Well, THEM.

Biff December 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Let me get this straight-to avoid nekkidity, we make clothing friom the hair, fur or skin of animals, to separate us from the animals? OK, just checking.

corthylio December 5, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I'm pretty sure Dennis Prager advocates no-iron clothing made from petrochemicals.

emmelemm December 5, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Just like they had in the Garden of Eden.

corthylio December 5, 2012 at 1:40 pm

So homo sapiens is officially divorced from the rest of the animal kingdom? I guess the animals are relieved to be rid of us…

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Nudists will always have more skin in this game.

corthylio December 5, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Ha!

Disassembly December 5, 2012 at 1:42 pm

You know what else is uniquely human? Transvestism. I look forward to Prager's new drag queen look.

smellypossum December 5, 2012 at 1:46 pm

From asshat's website: "Leftism seeks to undo most of the values that are distinct to Judeo-Christian religions. That is why the left has always been so anti-religious and especially anti-Christian."

This is exactly why the left seeks to, for example, provide health insurance to the Poors. Because we hate them and are anti-jeebus.

I remember from Sunday school that the jeebus fellow was always riding around in his limosine throwing buckets of urine on lepers and ridiculing them for being moochers.

Mittaplasia December 5, 2012 at 2:30 pm

As a recovered Catlick, I was anti-religious long before I became a dirty commie pinko.

Esteev December 5, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Which is banned? Good or bad naked?

Toomush_Infer December 5, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Just knowing the difference (for Jews only)…. and for maybe knowing they were Jews….

Jeri 2.0 December 5, 2012 at 1:53 pm

When human beings can contort themselves and lick their own genitals, Mr. Prager, then and only then will we be indistinguishable from other animals. We'll also be too busy to ever leave our homes again, but that's a whole nother thing.

Biff December 5, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I won't live in a world without kitteh videos.

Secluded Compound December 5, 2012 at 2:08 pm

It's amazing to me that he closes with "there's no secular reason to ban public nudity."

Obviously, a secular reason such as "I don't want that dude's right to show his balls to override my right to not have my eyes see his balls" is a pretty good secular argument. But I forgot, we leftists all are all about nudity all of the time because were degenerate.

Also, Stardust.

Eve8Apples December 5, 2012 at 2:10 pm

It's stories like this that make me wish we could move the nation's capital to San Francisco for just a few months out of the year. San Francisco residents know how to put on a protest.

Fuck Toad December 5, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Well, in a few centuries San Francisco will be the capital of the United Federation of Planets!

Eve8Apples December 5, 2012 at 2:16 pm

"A major difference between humans and animals is clothing; clothing separates us from — and in the biblical view, elevates us above — the animal kingdom."

Clothing elevates us above the animal kingdom? When was the last time you saw a sheep, pony, giraffe, hippopotamus, etc walking around in rainbow knee high socks or thigh high black nylon stockings, huh? Animals have more fashion sense than we do.

Troglodeity December 5, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Clothing is what makes us human? Coming soon: the Denis Prager Unborn Fetus Clothing Collection.

walterhwhite December 5, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Please never ever change San Francisco.

Totally agree!

poorgradstudent December 5, 2012 at 2:25 pm

A hyper-liberal-progressive-whatever acquaintance of mine supported the San Francisco ban because he (or maybe hir) had compared being "forced" to look at nekkid people to being sexually assaulted, which I found so stupid and offensive (especially to me, a human who knows other humans who were actual victims of actual rape) my brain shut down before I could process the "argument."

Dennis is…well, he still doesn't quite compare to that, but he comes close, which makes me feel…better, maybe?

cousinitt December 5, 2012 at 2:38 pm

If clothes make the man, then Prager wears a plaid polyester leisure suit, amirite?

gingerland62 December 5, 2012 at 3:11 pm

My wonderful hometown! I've always said if you grow up in SF nothing is "shocking" and differences aren't scary. But naked old dudes still give me the willies.(no pun intended?)

cousinitt December 5, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Look Dennis, you can put a suit on a freaking chimpanzee and put him in a Vaudeville show holding a lit stogie and dancing the jig. Clothes don't make the man. It's not like you could take said chimp and make him a Senator from the state of Redneckistan and no one would notice, right?

Oh, what? Really?

christianmuslin December 5, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Is his sister a whore or just his mother? For votes of course.

Lazy Media December 5, 2012 at 3:23 pm

On the one hand, freedom. On the other hand, few nudists look good without their clothes on. So, let's compromise that you can be naked in public, but you can't complain when everyone makes rude personal remarks. Sort of like smoking in permitted smoking zones in California.

Oh, and put a towel where you sit, because seriously, buttjuice.

jello_mold December 5, 2012 at 5:17 pm

there was a "compromise" of requiring the naked guys to put towels down, which they totally ignored. there's some analogy there to the house of reps but that's for some far more clever wonketteer than I to make.

Close_Read December 5, 2012 at 3:48 pm

This guy had a local show in LA years ago. I heard him once explaining how mankind was superior to nature, like monkeys and fruit trees and hurricanes. His reasoning was something-something-God and: because. It was all so obvious to him and his callers. I guess I'm really dumb.

jello_mold December 5, 2012 at 4:26 pm

If people such as our editrix comprised the naked guys, there prolly wouldn't have been much of a problem. However, they were decidedly not and they were ugly in more ways than one. (As Joshua Norton said, think porn written by Stephen King….thank JN for your ruined fapping!)

It was the public masturbation, also, too.

I started taking different routes through the 'stro and it was fucking inconvenient – and what was the exhibitionist argument? Don't look! You have to look in order to know where not to look – ugh too late. Porn by Stephen King.

No one wanted to be unwilling participants in some trolls' public sex. And to say the naked guys are as a rule entitled oblivious aging white guys might be redundant. As far as I could tell, no one could get the police to enforce the laws that are already on the books; certainly no SFPD officer wanted to be the one put up on youtube arresting some pathetic lardtub with a cockring. So the charmingly nicknamed board of stupidvisors decides to write a law which is possibly unconstitutional.

Praeger sounds like the guy the naked guys think they're talking to – they're all about body shame – the whole lot of them. The rest of us don't care to be shopping for eye bleach.

vent/over

IceCreamEmpress December 5, 2012 at 5:02 pm

No, but they Carrie it well.

GregComlish December 5, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Yeah, it's our clothing that separates us from animals. It certainly isn't our intellect. Not around Dennis Prager at any rate.

cybermoe December 5, 2012 at 6:29 pm

I dink therefore I am, naked!

ttommyunger December 5, 2012 at 7:15 pm

If there's one thing Dennis likes better than keeping his turtle-head of a peen his little secret, it is the sound of his own voice.

finette_ December 5, 2012 at 8:10 pm

"Naked agitators." Heh.

Barrelhse December 5, 2012 at 8:50 pm

To think that something like this would come from Dennis "Dogballs" Prager.

bobbert December 5, 2012 at 8:51 pm

This is why I only go into the City in the summer, when it's freezing.*

*Not intended to be a factual statement, except for the freezing part.

BZ1 December 6, 2012 at 8:32 am

So the furry little things that wear sweaters and boots are like people, right?

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Live in fear and dread. Be sensible.

emmelemm December 5, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Nah, man, I'm the big dog.

Botlrokit December 5, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Please, be Sirius.

(iswydt)

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 2:33 pm

If we keep this up, we'll be doing jokes only dogs can hear!

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 5, 2012 at 3:10 pm

what?

glasspusher December 5, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Hey now!

Barrelhse December 5, 2012 at 8:42 pm

And bunnies tossed into oncoming traffic?

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