BEAT FRESH  10:07 am December 5, 2012

What Horrible Thing Did This Muslim Couple Do To Get Kicked Out Of Innocent Congressman’s Subway Franchise?

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Manager's police sketch of the Subway couple What has Louisiana Congressman John Fleming been up to since that time he got all freaked out over The Onion’s Abortionplex, and that other time he explained he would have to fire errbody in the world because you did not expect him to be able to feed his family on $400,000 a year, did you? Oh, not much. And he still isn’t up to much. It is not like he personally is staffing the cash register at his Shreveport, Louisiana, Subway sandwich franchise, refusing to serve people in Musliny-wear. He’s a congressman, duh. He has people for that! And obviously, the Muslim couple who were refused service in his franchise weren’t refused service for being Muslim. That would be illegal. They must have done something … inappropriate. Dude, they were being totes inappropriate, said the franchise manager, waving an audio tape of the conversation, lasso-style, around his head, before declining to let anyone actually listen to the tape. Seems legit! After all, green is green. Why would anyone refuse service to someone just for being different, when there is cold hard muneez to be made?

So what do we think the couple in question was doing that was “inappropriate”?

  • Being Muslim.
  • Adhering to the Islamic faith.
  • Probably being Muslim, right?

[TPM, thanks to Wonket operative "Lisa Z"]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 201 comments }

Beetagger December 5, 2012 at 10:09 am

Jared sounds like a Mooslim name to me.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 10:25 am

Ja Red….hm, you're right!

thatsitfortheother1 December 5, 2012 at 10:41 am

Jarhead.

eggsacklywright December 5, 2012 at 10:54 am

A member of the Third-rail subsect.

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Or Superman's biological father.

Barbara_ December 5, 2012 at 10:09 am

How ironic is this? Have you ever watched a Subway employee make a sandwich? They do it like they are trying to diffuse a bomb or something.

BadKitty904 December 5, 2012 at 10:14 am

They taste kinda like one, too. Ugh.

Barbara_ December 5, 2012 at 10:22 am

I hate Subway food and my husband likes it. That lingering yeast smell and taste from the bread is pretty gross.

Chet Kincaid_ December 5, 2012 at 10:53 am

I always get my Subway fixins on flat bread instead of the rolls. Tastes better.

GhostBuggy December 5, 2012 at 10:54 am

Is that what that damn smell is? Whenever I go to Subway, I can smell it on my clothes all day. It's fucking weird.

DemmeFatale December 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Yes, it's that damn yeasty smell for their "bread."
I'm an experienced baker, and no bread I've ever baked smelled like this.
Plus, it gets hard when it cools.

(BTW: that cranberry business from Thanksgiving makes a delicious filling for cookies when you drain it, (use the syrup for cocktails).

jdoleman December 5, 2012 at 10:10 am

Urinating in a public restroom?

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 11:03 am

Hey! Thar's a bukkit out back fer that!

outragedcitizen December 5, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Urinating in a public, "Christians Only" restroom!

Not_So_Much December 5, 2012 at 10:11 am

Refused the pound of bacon add-on to their meal? Dead giveaway here in 'Murka.

Exhausted66 December 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Don't drag bacon into this.

Ground Zero Mostel December 5, 2012 at 10:12 am

Freaking out when the sandwich maker kept trying to sneak some ham onto the sandwich for fun?

Lot_49 December 5, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Ha ha, it's not ham. It's "ham," like all the cold cuts at Subway, which are remanufactured turkey parts whose exact names you wouldn't want to know.

ProgressiveInga December 5, 2012 at 10:12 am

"So what do we think the couple in question was doing that was 'inappropriate'?"

Breathing Jesus-y air?

jdoleman December 5, 2012 at 10:12 am

Didn't have full long form birth certificate?

Texan_Bulldog December 5, 2012 at 10:13 am

So what do we think the couple in question was doing that was “inappropriate”?

Well, for starters, they were a married couple in LA who weren't brother & sister first.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 5, 2012 at 10:14 am

I am totally boycotting this Subway franchise. I actually have been my entire life seeing as I've never been to Shreveport. But still! Boycott!!1!

BadKitty904 December 5, 2012 at 10:24 am

We've been totally boycotting them for ages because their subs aren't very good.

dr_giraud December 5, 2012 at 10:14 am

They asked for Sharia sauce?

ElPinche December 5, 2012 at 10:18 am

Pcch! That's nothing but donkey sauce.

ManchuCandidate December 5, 2012 at 10:15 am

Subway: Eat Prejudice

Estproph December 5, 2012 at 10:15 am

Maybe they brought in a bag from Al Quizno's

RedneckMuslin December 5, 2012 at 10:16 am

Ordered their $5 footlong metrically? Subway workers don't do math.

WordSaladNation December 5, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I read that as "Subway workers don't do meth," which is probably both true and untrue.

hagajim December 5, 2012 at 10:16 am

Does he not serve vamp's the True Blood either?

Cognitive Dissident December 5, 2012 at 2:21 pm

we're talking about Shreveport, after all.

elviouslyqueer December 5, 2012 at 10:18 am

To be fair, this happened in Shreveport, which is basically Arkansas with marginally better dental hygiene.

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 10:57 am

And a bath?

Jus_Wonderin December 5, 2012 at 11:34 am

Once a week, whether we need it or not.

arihaya December 5, 2012 at 10:21 am

The honorable Representative might be angry because the Muslins are clearly behind the establishment of Abortionplex.

TootsStansbury December 5, 2012 at 10:21 am

Aaked for falafel?

freakishlywrong December 5, 2012 at 10:22 am

Subway, (and Louisiana) is not halal, y'all.

Spurning Beer December 5, 2012 at 10:22 am

Wait, there's behavior they consider inappropriate in Louisiana?

BadKitty904 December 5, 2012 at 10:31 am

Yes. Singing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" or yelling "Go, Aggies!"

elviouslyqueer December 5, 2012 at 10:39 am

Shockingly, yes.

elviouslyqueer December 5, 2012 at 10:39 am

Shockingly, yes.

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 10:50 am

That's some funny shit raht thar!

proudgrampa December 5, 2012 at 10:50 am

Two years for that??? Jesus Christ.

Guppy December 5, 2012 at 11:08 am

Don't fuck with LSU down there.

Oh, and the scrotum thing, also, too, probably.

Guppy December 5, 2012 at 11:08 am

Don't fuck with LSU down there.

Oh, and the scrotum thing, also, too, probably.

Chet Kincaid_ December 5, 2012 at 10:58 am

College sports is a threat to traditional marriage!!1!

Guppy December 5, 2012 at 1:05 pm

To the contrary: all the brain damage only encourages people to go through with a marriage!

The later murder-suicides, on the other hand…

Lot_49 December 5, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Thirty-three years old and still acting like a drunken teenager. It's like he's from Alabama.

delaney_blom December 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Having a BAC under .06.

Sassomatic December 6, 2012 at 1:05 am

This is North Louisiana, which is actually Arkansas, and full of Baptists that are always trying to tell the rest of us down "real" Louisiana we can't do stuff their Jesus Zombie does not like.

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 10:22 am

Not that I needed any more reasons to not eat at Shlubway. It's like a Deli, but for WASPs.

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 10:22 am

Not that I needed any more reasons to not eat at Shlubway. It's like a Deli, but for WASPs and white trash.

calliecallie December 5, 2012 at 12:56 pm

ZINGERMANN'S LIBEL!

Any real deli would feel libeled by that sentence. And by real I mean not Schlotzky's or McAlister's or any other chain of so-called delis, but a REAL deli, nu?

Hera Sent Me December 5, 2012 at 10:23 am

Dining while brown.

Being different in a monotonous zone.

Pronouncing "sandwich" with a guttural "w".

Ululating without a permit.

Asking if there was any pork in the chicken salad.

Asking if there was any pork in the Pepsi.

Suspicious lack of suspicious bulges.

Asking do you have change for a 100 dinar note?

pdiddycornchips December 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Changed the TV showing Swamp people reruns to Al Jeezera

ElPinche December 5, 2012 at 10:23 am

It's a Subway in the south. Anyone under 400 lbs not ordering party sized 8 footer and does not have shirtless kids running around with rickets flicking their lice into the deli bins is suspect of muslinism.

Negropolis December 6, 2012 at 2:37 am

I'm laughing my lungs out, here. It's hilarious 'cause it's true.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 10:25 am

They ordered a Quizno's

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 10:26 am

Fuck a Subway and fuck a Quizno's. Schlotzky's roolz!

Terry December 5, 2012 at 2:48 pm

OMG, that's one of the things I truly miss about living in Tx and La. Schlotzky's bread is awesome.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 10:26 am

I prefer Blimpie's, which uses locally grown and killed rat, not the imported shit.

Barbara_ December 5, 2012 at 10:48 am

Blimpie's is pretty good. The rats wear proper hairnets and I like that.

Negropolis December 6, 2012 at 2:33 am

I like both Blimpies and Quiznos, but I'm not big on sandwiches to begin with.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 10:27 am

Can we ask Josh to correct that TPM headline?

Calling *any* Subway shop a "restaurant" is demeaning to real restaurants like Chuck E Cheese and Pizza Hut.

YouFail4eva December 5, 2012 at 11:11 am

Actor, do we need to stage an intervention regarding your dining habits? Join us at the Cheesecake Factory on Friday for talks!

nonbeliever7 December 5, 2012 at 10:28 am

How long before Snowbilly personally supports Subway by ordering the Glen Rice footlong special?

Texan_Bulldog December 5, 2012 at 10:28 am

Schlotzky's libel!!1!!

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 10:35 am

Now I'm craving a medium original, hold the olives.

Mumbletypeg December 5, 2012 at 10:52 am

Agreed. Schlotzky's… when I used to work near one — had the best Thai personal pizza. Peanut sauce and carrots julienned on it, which sounded horrific til I actually tried it, became my favorite~

Chet Kincaid_ December 5, 2012 at 11:00 am

That sounds like some kind of suntanned and blonde California Pizza Kitchen abomination!!

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 11:04 am

I don't know what it's like in other states, but the Schlotzky's here in TX make their own bread and it's the best I have ever had, and has been for the 35 years I've lived here.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 10:39 am

We don't have a Shlotzky's. This is NYC. We have actual real delis with real food. We don't need no Texas faux Jews. Let Kinky eat 'em

proudgrampa December 5, 2012 at 10:53 am

I needs me a Carnegie pastrami on rye.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 10:55 am

The sandwich that can feed a battalion.

Texan_Bulldog December 5, 2012 at 10:54 am

We don't have a lot of sandwich shops here in Austin and very few delis–that I know of. The only two local sandwich shops I can think of are Delaware Subs & Thundercloud, both which are very good, but there are definitely more chains here. Mark Katz had a deli here for 31 years but they went bankrupt in 2010 so I assume he got his ass back to NYC.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 10:59 am

Yea, I'm just busting your chops. I think Shlotzky's is opening in Jersey next year, which trends along with who actually shops at Subways and Quizno's (and Blimpie's) up here: commuters and kids.

But you ever get up here, we have a sandwich at the Second Ave Deli with your name on it.

HistoriCat December 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

So much for "Katz's never closes!"

(Still open in Houston though …)

BadKitty904 December 5, 2012 at 10:28 am

They are pretty disgusting.

We either go to our local Mom'n'Pop joint, which has been making the bestest subs since 1958, or to the Publix grocery deli counter, wh/ makes a mean sub for a reasonable price. These chain joints are mostly lame.

Barbara_ December 5, 2012 at 10:50 am

BadKitty, there is a bakery in Vegas called "Great Buns." i go there once a month and stock up on their sub rolls and make my own when I can. Now if I could just find somewhere around here that sells Tastykakes.

WordSaladNation December 5, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I go to a website called "Great Buns" sometimes. It ain't about bread, if you know what I mean!

bikerlaureate December 5, 2012 at 2:46 pm

No Boar's Head, though. Yuck.

BadKitty904 December 5, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I've never understood the point of Boar's head products – I've looked at the ingredients and they're no better than Publix's…

MacRaith December 5, 2012 at 10:29 am

It was, of course, the Muslims who were discriminating against the congressman by attempting to eat in his restaurant. Obviously.

BadKitty904 December 5, 2012 at 10:29 am

*applauds*

Estproph December 5, 2012 at 10:29 am

Yeah – brushing teeth.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 10:30 am

Now the veggie sub might be, if you consider the fact the cheese is not cheese but a cheese-like plastic.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 10:30 am

Breathing through your nose?

BoatOfVelociraptors December 5, 2012 at 10:34 am

They were denied a Biden sized meal!

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 10:34 am

Joke's on them Subway people! Muslims invented sub sandwiches! (I just made that up).

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 11:30 am

EARL OF SUBSANDWICH LIB EL!

not that Dewey December 5, 2012 at 10:36 am

If the soda fountain won't come to Mohammed…

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 10:37 am

I'm just surprised that this didn't happen here in Texas first.

Terry December 5, 2012 at 10:47 am

Northern Louisiana has more in common with Texas and Arkansas than it does with South Louisiana. Folks get humorless from about mid-State and northward.

Fun fact. South Louisiana has a large, successful, and long established population of Arab people, mostly I think whose families immigrated from Lebanon. The Saloom family in particular has produced revered judges and a couple of crazy people who left indelible marks on Acadiana.

elviouslyqueer December 5, 2012 at 11:37 am

I've always considered Alex the dividing line, although I do make allowances for Natchitoches.

And funny that you mention the Saloom family. I always wondered how Kaliste Saloom, one of the biggest streets in Lafayette, got its name. Thanks for the trivia, Terry!

Terry December 5, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Two words: Cedar Grocery. Gawd I miss that place. One of my favorite lunch places in Lafayette, along with Olde Tyme Grocery (oyster po'boy) and Dwyer's (anything they're service, but OMG the catfish courtbouilon and the crawfish ettouffe are both amazing).

DCBloom December 5, 2012 at 12:14 pm

True! I lived in NOLA for years and had a number of Lebanese friends. There's also a great Lebanese restaurant named Mona's right outside of Jazz fest.

Mumbletypeg December 5, 2012 at 10:38 am

Subway's unwholesome provisions are enough to make me Sikh.

Mumbletypeg December 5, 2012 at 10:38 am

Subway®'s demonstrably unwholesome provisions are enough to make me sikh.

RadioBitchFace December 5, 2012 at 10:41 am

HALAL….is there anybody here?

Jus_Wonderin December 5, 2012 at 10:41 am

Shreveport, Louisiana

Yes, I hang my head in shame. I put my tail between my legs. I slowly move toward the backdoor. Once open…the sound I make is not so much a scream as a howling plea to be freed from the legacy of my birth town.

But hell, the farm is about 40 minutes out so…there's that.

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 10:56 am

I can't hear your scream over the engine noise from the B-52s.

elviouslyqueer December 5, 2012 at 11:38 am

There, there, JW. It could be worse. You could be in Bossier. Or Monroe. Or FERRIDAY.

Lizzietish81 December 5, 2012 at 10:41 am

Eating sandwiches in a threatening manner?

mrpuma2u December 5, 2012 at 10:42 am

Your move, Denny's

BadKitty904 December 5, 2012 at 10:42 am

It's news to me there are Muslims in Louisiana.

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 10:55 am

I guess creeping Sharia is not "creeping" so much as "hauling ass."

Blueb4sinrise December 5, 2012 at 10:56 am

[sideways glance]
They could be……………….
ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Terry December 5, 2012 at 10:42 am

Interestingly enough, most of my local Subway shops are owned and staffed by either Arab people or folks from Bangladesh. The behavior of the Shreveport manager should make the next meeting of Subway franchise holders a bit more perky than usual.

Chet Kincaid_ December 5, 2012 at 11:05 am

Where you at?

Chet Kincaid_ December 5, 2012 at 11:05 am

Where you at?

finallyhappy December 5, 2012 at 6:15 pm

I think Ethiopian guys work the one on 13th street- it is the only one I know. I'd pick up a sandwich for my son before his evening class at MC

Chet Kincaid_ December 5, 2012 at 10:44 am

Louisiana needs to get with the program — all the Subways in Chicago are run by Muslims, Hindus or other assorted browns.

Chow Yun Flat December 5, 2012 at 11:01 am

Same in Detroit–the Subway closest to my home is run by Bengalis and the one on the way home from work is run by Iraqis, although here they are likely to be Chaldeans, Iraqi Christians, although in Louisiana I am sure they would be considered as Muslim as the Sharif of Mecca.

sullivanst December 5, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Same here on Long Island.

BartStarrland December 5, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Too, Milwaukee

thatsitfortheother1 December 5, 2012 at 10:46 am

No need to wrap it, just slip it in my vest.

thatsitfortheother1 December 5, 2012 at 10:46 am

You, sir, have a way with words.

Lizzietish81 December 5, 2012 at 10:47 am

Wait…isn't owning a business while serving in Congress a conflict of interest?

thatsitfortheother1 December 5, 2012 at 10:56 am

Yes, hence the various statutes to encourage it.

YouFail4eva December 5, 2012 at 11:13 am

HAHAAHAAHA! Aw, you so funny, with your "ideas" that Republicans care about "ethics" or "conflicts of interest". Why do you hate capitalism, Lizzie? Why do you hate America? Are you a commie sympathizer?

SayItWithWookies December 5, 2012 at 10:55 am

The manager's been on edge ever since he heard that al-Qaida had been caught a few years ago plotting to blow up the subway in New York, apparently unaware that there's a form of public transportation by the same name.

Chow Yun Flat December 5, 2012 at 10:56 am

Simple linguistic difficulty. The Muslim guy said As-salamu alaykum.

The counterman asked "Yew like what?" and things fell apart quickly.

Mumbletypeg December 5, 2012 at 10:59 am

Sandwich enthusiasts throughout the Muslim community were heartburqa'n at the news.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 11:02 am

*facepalm*

YouFail4eva December 5, 2012 at 11:13 am

*Headdesk*

SayItWithWookies December 5, 2012 at 12:08 pm

In the fight for equality, this is just a tahini setback.

DahBoner December 5, 2012 at 11:02 am

Muslim people ain't got nobody.

Botlrokit December 5, 2012 at 11:04 am

When I read the article, I wondered how much of the story remains untold. Let's say — for a moment, please — that this was maybe an egregious misunderstanding, or single angry white employee, and weak-willed coworkers. If that's the case, then the arrogant door-locker should be fired, and Mr. Husain should get a big apology.

Because, to be honest, I was more surprised to know Mr. Husain was patted down by Shreveport officers. That's what really shocked me, when reading the article.

Botlrokit December 5, 2012 at 11:04 am

When I read the article, I wondered how much of the story remains untold. Let's say — for a moment, please — that this was maybe an egregious misunderstanding, or single angry white employee, and weak-willed coworkers. If that's the case, then the arrogant door-locker should be fired, and Mr. Husain should get a big apology.

Because, to be honest, I was more surprised to know Mr. Husain was patted down by Shreveport officers. That's what really shocked me, when reading the article.

Botlrokit December 5, 2012 at 11:04 am

When I read the article, I wondered how much of the story remains untold. Let's say — for a moment, please — that this was maybe an egregious misunderstanding, or single angry white employee, and weak-willed coworkers. If that's the case, then the arrogant door-locker should be fired, and Mr. Husain should get a big apology.

Because, to be honest, I was more surprised to know Mr. Husain was patted down by Shreveport officers. That's what really shocked me, when reading the article.

Botlrokit December 5, 2012 at 11:04 am

When I read the article, I wondered how much of the story remains untold. Let's say — for a moment, please — that this was maybe an egregious misunderstanding, or single angry white employee, and weak-willed coworkers. If that's the case, then the arrogant door-locker should be fired, and Mr. Husain should get a big apology.

Because, to be honest, I was more surprised to know Mr. Husain was patted down by Shreveport officers. That's what really shocked me, when reading the article.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 11:06 am

They were caught washing their hands in the bathroom. Hell, even the employees don't do that in Shreveport!c

Chow Yun Flat December 5, 2012 at 11:06 am

The Muslim couple thought they heard an ad with the tag "Subway, it's whats for dinar" and mistakenly figured they would be welcome.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 11:07 am

Yea, that caught my eye, particularly when there was no arrest made and no report filed.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 11:07 am

Yea, that caught my eye, particularly when there was no arrest made and no report filed.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 11:07 am

Yea, that caught my eye, particularly when there was no arrest made and no report filed.

Chow Yun Flat December 5, 2012 at 11:09 am

The Muslim guy asked "Is this halal?"

The counterman said "No, this is Louisiana. Hell is a lot nicer".

sarjo December 5, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I studiously avoid the use of 'net slang, but your comment made me LOL;)!1!!

Chet Kincaid_ December 5, 2012 at 11:09 am

Chicago is known only for its sloppy-ass Italian beefs (and of course its sloppy-ass deep dish pizza):
http://www.maxsitalianbeef.com/menu.php

Chet Kincaid_ December 5, 2012 at 11:09 am

Chicago is known only for its sloppy-ass Italian beefs (and of course its sloppy-ass deep dish pizza):
http://www.maxsitalianbeef.com/menu.php

Chet Kincaid_ December 5, 2012 at 11:09 am

Chicago is known only for its sloppy-ass Italian beefs (and of course its sloppy-ass deep dish pizza):
http://www.maxsitalianbeef.com/menu.php

Dashboard Buddha December 5, 2012 at 11:09 am

J'Red could not be reached for comment.

Texan_Bulldog December 5, 2012 at 11:11 am

Can't wait until Bobby Jindal tries to eat here.

YouFail4eva December 5, 2012 at 11:14 am

I can't wait for the federal discrimination lawsuit. Something tells me the Congressman is going to have to worry a lot more about his money than just "Being able to survive on $400,000 a year".

YouFail4eva December 5, 2012 at 11:14 am

Now if only there was a way to get Cajun food without the rest of Louisiana.

commiegirl99 December 5, 2012 at 11:17 am

Hey kids, do me a flavor. If you get an ad that autoplays a video (without your clicking on it first), please click through and then send me the url so we can murder it, ok?

Jus_Wonderin December 5, 2012 at 3:29 pm

"If you get an ad that autoplays a video"

Anywhere on the Intertubez, Rebecca? Cuz I am getting annoy autoplay stuff from my usual Porn haunts. Can you murder that?

HistoriCat December 5, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I thought porn and autoplay went hand in hand.

Botlrokit December 5, 2012 at 11:17 am

"No, dammit! I said 'salaam', not 'salami'."

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 11:23 am

Oh, I can't. I'm doing dinner theatre at the Appleby's…

YouFail4eva December 5, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Alright, alright. We'll split the difference. Brunch at Ruby Tuesdays. No excuses.

actor212 December 5, 2012 at 11:23 am

Your hot dogs more than make up for it.

Chet Kincaid_ December 5, 2012 at 11:25 am

!

Chet Kincaid_ December 5, 2012 at 11:25 am

!
You know, if he's serious about changing the party/running for President, he ought to get out there and condemn this, now that he has beaten Romney's post-election comments to death.

Terry December 5, 2012 at 11:30 am

DC suburbs. If you stand on a street corner in my particular suburb, the whole world walks by.

BadKitty904 December 5, 2012 at 11:34 am

But they *were* guilty of being brown.

BadKitty904 December 5, 2012 at 11:34 am

But he *was* guilty of being brown.

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 11:35 am

Murder it with votes, right? Aren't those the rules here? AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES??!?!

johnnyzhivago December 5, 2012 at 12:46 pm

I think they use the Wonkette Drones for this.

RadioBitchFace December 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Murder is a crime, unless it was done by an overlord or aristocrat.
Know Your Rights!

YouFail4eva December 5, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Um…yes.

BadKitty904 December 5, 2012 at 11:36 am

That's a mighty big "if".

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 11:37 am

Yeah, too bad Lay's discontinued those Cajun-spice Ruffles, huh?

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 11:41 am

Surprised they didn't get the "Rodney King" patdown, it being Louisiana and all.

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 11:44 am

Guess he wanted someone to "Hold His Tiger."

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Is it just me or has the server slowed down to speeds approaching those of 1999? All my other webpages are acting normally.

Sharkey December 5, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Nope, me too. '99 was awesome though!

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Good to hear. I don't mind suffering, as long as I'm not suffering alone.

emmelemm December 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm

It was pretty damn fast yesterday… and now, so slow again…

The horror, the horror!

Relevant

PubOption December 5, 2012 at 2:21 pm

It wouldn't work at all for me this morning.

BadKitty904 December 5, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Are we back up???

BadKitty904 December 5, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Are we back up??? Hello? Is this thing on? Hello??

BaldarTFlagass December 5, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Seems like the answer is "sorta." I'm really glad we got all the glitches for the server changeover sorted out over the long Thanksgiving weekend.

iburl December 5, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Obviously they forgot to give the Klan handshake.

sullivanst December 5, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Tsk, Trix you left the real reason off:

Looking Muslim.

Exhausted66 December 5, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Do you know who else was a (sandwich) artist?

Mumbletypeg December 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Sloppy Joe?

PubOption December 5, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Any number of po(or) boys.

Lot_49 December 5, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Alabama's still in the lead inn the xenophobia sweepstakes. Their police arrested the German manager of the BMW plant because he looked foreign and didn't have the right papers with him.

And as if that weren't bad enough, they doubled down.

IceCreamEmpress December 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I am honestly shocked that they arrested a white dude for not having his passport. I kind of give props to those cops for actually following the stupid law instead of just being racist.

Lot_49 December 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Well, you're just assuming he's white. Pretty safe bet in Bavaria, though.

PubOption December 5, 2012 at 2:20 pm

There could be a problem if was of Turkish descent, he'd look white but have a name that looked a bit Muslimish.

Negropolis December 6, 2012 at 2:46 am

Muslimistch is a popular Islamic German name, I hear.

schvitzatura December 6, 2012 at 4:58 am

Papieren, bitte, y'all!

Lot_49 December 6, 2012 at 8:40 am

Auzgezeichnet!

mustangsavvy December 5, 2012 at 12:56 pm

I mean, it's not like Christians aren't discriminated against! Oh. Right.

mrblifil December 5, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Hu-mmus be joking.

Nostrildamus December 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Fleming now has the inside track in 2016.

Nostrildamus December 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Fleming now has the inside track for 2016.

Isyaignert December 5, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I have eaten at Subway all over the country and it's always been a good experience. One month ago, I was driving through Alabama from Texas to Florida and stopped at one for lunch. Big mistake.

There was horrible country music blaring from shitty speakers, the girl behind the counter was a racist, the meat had mold on it and the lettuce was brown. I guess that's considered normal down there. I may never go back to a Subway again.

Slim_Pickins December 5, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Perhaps they asked if the meat was Halal. What a bigoted thing to ask. Isn't Mericun meat good enough for them?

James Michael Curley December 5, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I thought you meant Subway as in The Number 4 Line because scary looking Mooselims are the least of one's worries down there.

Kid_Charlemagne December 5, 2012 at 2:14 pm

This country is going to Halal in a handbasket.

Troglodeity December 5, 2012 at 2:24 pm

So a Muslim goes into a Subway shop …

teapartynyc2011 December 5, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Surprise surprise — the GOP, in the main, is still anti-immigrant. But liberals are just as bad by being agnostic-immigrant, i.e., like on issues such as executive (Obama) ordered targeted killing of Americans w/out any due process what-so-ever — see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HvEytKTkeo — liberals just aren't that into reforming govt. anti-immigrant policies:

Last week the House passed the STEM Act, which would expand the number of visas for qualified applicants with advanced degrees in areas of need in the U.S. This common sense immigration reform is bipartisan and needed. Senator Cornyn and Rand Paul just attempted to have the bill brough up and passed in the Senate. This action was blocked by Senator Schumer and Senate Democrat

See a true conservative argument for more immigation: http://reason.com/archives/2012/12/05/lets-open-t

schvitzatura December 6, 2012 at 5:21 am

Talk to your forty-five y/o, non-Subcontinental, qualified and skills-teachable native displaced IT worker about STEM. Not likely to inspire high-fives and whatnot.

But the STEM apologists say "But these people are creating jerbs over here, you must let more of them in, because if we don't the companies that are people, too, will not be competitive and America's hegemonic and economic future will haz a sad."

There are some liberal quarters where jacking up H1B quotas and immigration reform ain't gonna fly any more. These constituencies have seen the result of technologies/services outsourcing for over the past twenty years. Amnesty for brown service workers but enough compromises have been made for the U.S. corporate IT industrial complex to lower the compensation rate for high-value positions that a nascent nonpartisan "American IT jerbs for "blut und boden" Americans" has started to coalesce.

Schumer and Senate democrats know where to strategically expand their influence by supporting immigration reform in general, but must hold out tactically for native college-educated, qualified or qualifiable, mid-career IT non-equity workers. Not to do so is to loose grasp of key swing votes, even for socially liberal, yet economically pragmatic native workers. Corporations are engaged in a long-term campaign of labor arbitrage to erode salaries and benefits for high-value IT seats.

Lazy Media December 5, 2012 at 3:38 pm

That's IT! I am adding to the justifications for my current boycott of Subway (I currently boycott them because their food is not very good).

finallyhappy December 5, 2012 at 6:13 pm

send a salami to your son in army(is it that place?)

ttommyunger December 5, 2012 at 7:18 pm

I ate a Subway Sandwich once. I didn't shit for two days. No snark. I know this is TMI, but I am one regular dude. Never again!

anniegetyerfun December 5, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Politely asking the guy to hold the ham? In a non-gay way?

BZ1 December 6, 2012 at 8:46 am

Washing hands was the tipoff; no one in Lucieanna washes their hands.

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