the devil's work

Daily Caller: Obama Might Appoint Some Jerk Lady As Ambassador Because He Loves Money

Yr. Wonkette was anxious – like, forgot the Zoloft at home before a family reunion anxious – over the prospect of a neutered Daily Caller without the hateful sage musings of wunderkind reporter Matthew Boyle. Would anyone bother reading the Daily Caller anymore, without tiny bio pics of an extremely seductive adult baby to the left of some of the articles? Without Boyle’s insight, could Tucker Carlson’s venerable media empire lose the edge in exposing Barack Obama’s blackness, and the fact that some other people are black too? Would The Daily Caller continue cutting deep to the secretive, putrid heart of the current White House?

We should not have feared! Now comes “news” that President Obama may give a cushy, status-wielding government job to someone who gave him a bunch of money. GASP! Ok, ok, so that’s not particularly shocking, but would you believe the recipient of Obama’s wonderful campaign spoils might be the Devil Wears Prada lady? According to Bloomberg News, Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour’s name is one of a few floating around as Ambassador appointments to the UK or France. Wintour will obviously be appointed to either (or both!) posts, since Obama represents a totally New World Order where politicians look out for those who support them financially. Perhaps the most disheartening aspect of this potential appointment is Wintour’s obvious intentions to accept the position, helping to prolong the unbearable feedback loop of money in politics.

Though the opportunity may present itself, Wintour, the inspiration for the antagonist in “The Devil Wears Prada,” is said not to be interested in the position.

It’s unclear when money will lose its newly awarded, staggering influence over politics; certainly not anytime soon, with the President’s biggest campaign donors lining up greedily for post-election rewards. Notice, too, that this is a completely new phenomena unique to the unscrupulous Obama cartel.

The financial news service notes that presidents tapping donors for these diplomatic roles is nothing new. In Obama’s first term he nominated 59 ambassadors, 40 of whom were fundraising bundlers.

If you quickly scan your glazed eyes over that bit about tapping donors for diplomatic roles being nothing new, you’ll notice that President Obama and no one else ever sure appointed a lot of his fundraisers to these mostly ceremonial positions. As the plot continues to thicken, Yr. Wonkette is grateful for the Daily Caller’s persistence in peeling away the edges of deception, revealing an unraveling narrative wherein time-travelling Kenyans with a penchant for document forgery fight tirelessly to make us learn about blacks, old uncles write thank you notes to perverts and antagonists from Anne Hathaway movies pay big bucks for the chance to belittle some foreign interns for a change.

[Daily Caller]

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    1. Dashboard Buddha

      Damn lady…you always know the right thing to say. You're like a friggin' Hallmark card of snark.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      Way back in the mists of the dawn of time, Wonkette had a contributor from DC after The Sweater Puppies Lobbyist, who wrote on her personal blog a loving account of a weekend in Philadelphia with her boy friend and his new riding crop purchased at a local antiques store.

      She liked the guy, but she loved the crop.

  1. emmelemm

    I was going to make harsh comments on the lack of alt-text, but then I took note of how absolutely sublime the Blingee is, and how much I've missed proper Blingees, and I've decided to give you a pass.

  2. SorosBot

    I'm just pleasantly surprised to see a wingnut complaint about an ambassador that's not just "Benghazi! Benghazi!" conspiracy mongering.

    1. memzilla

      "Benghazi. Apply directly to the forehead. Benghazi. Apply directly to the forehead. Benghazi. Apply directly to the forehead. Benghazi. Apply directly to the forehead. Benghazi. Apply directly to the forehead. Benghazi. Apply directly to the forehead. Benghazi. Apply directly to the forehead. Benghazi. Appl… "

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Apropos of nothing, you may be amused to know that my stage name for a few years of my rock band career (late 1980s) was "Elvis St. Nixon."

  3. YasserArraFeck

    So, now we're going to invade countries who wear white after Labor Day?

    (no stupider than the WMD/Terrorist/9-11/Fight-Them-Over-There-So-We-Don't-Have-To-Fight-Them-Here/Liberate-The-Poor-Iraqis/Whatever-Reason-I-Pull-Out-My-Ass-This-Morning rationale we went with the last time)

  4. ProgressiveInga

    I gave Bammerz some monies during the election. Can I be the U.S. Ambassador to George Clooney?

    1. BadKitty904

      Me, too! Though I didn't have much to give.

      Can I have dibs on Zanzibar, then? It's little and I'd totally rock a turban.

    2. Mittaplasia

      I don't want to travel overseas so I would like to request the ambassadorship to Humboldt County, CA.

  5. elviouslyqueer

    “When he ran for election in 2008, on several occasions, Obama declared his intent to appoint more career people, and that has not actually happened,” Susan Johnson, the president of the American Foreign Service Association, told Bloomberg. “Our expectations were lifted, only to be dashed by reality.”


  6. memzilla

    Based on the enspliffened Blingee, she should ask for the ambassadorship to Jamaica.

    "This is the Embassy of the United States, how may we be jammin' your call, mon?"

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        "Enspliffend." That is the legal description of WA state in exactly two days. As in, marijuana is legal to possess in quantities of one ounce or less in WA state. On Thursday. This Thursday.

        I just wanted to rub that in, a bit.


    1. NellCote71

      If by aisle, you mean the one that separates the two lines of beds in an insane asylum, then yes, he should do just that.

  7. Callyson

    OK, I went to the Daily Holler because I was genuinely curious why this particular story made them so butt hurt:

    Ironically, though Wintour was one of the top money drivers during the 2012 election cycle, she claimed after the election that she was very pleased money was not what won the presidency.
    “It’s no secret that I worked very hard for the president this campaign,” she said of Obama’s 2012 victory, according to the Post.
    “And it’s very rewarding to see that money can’t buy the White House, which is what the Republicans were trying to do with all those hundreds of millions of dollars that the super PACs were raising,” she added. “I’m so grateful that the president will have a second term.”

    Ah, so that's why they are so apoplectic. Got it.

  8. sullivanst

    Wow, it's almost as if Obama's rate of 30.2% political appointments wasn't nearly identical to W's 30.0% or less than Daddy Bush's 31.3% and Gerald Ford's 38.2% (analysis of St. Ronnie's appointments "coming soon" apparently, but let's not forget he ran the most corrupt administration in history, so it wouldn't be a shock if his number was pretty high, too).

    It's also almost as if the Daily Callgirl's criteria ignoring non-Ambassador-level chiefs of mission was carefully selected so as to distort the figures.

    In addition, and this is a total guess, but I'd imagine that most times Presidents appoint donors to the diplomatic corps less often in their second term than their first, what with no longer having to worry about financing a reelection campaign.

    1. Veritas78

      Well over half of Obama's political appointees were to the Caribbean and Western Europe, which is entirely understandable and even appropriate. They get a little plum & sun and they can't do any real damage. Plus, they get to be called Ambassador for life. He's actually been far more supportive of career diplomats than any of his republican predecessors, which is why the Benghazi accusations make no sense at all.

  9. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Amb. Wintour will create an international incident when she describes the French president's cuff links as "tres gauche."

  10. DrunkIrishman

    His face looks shiny. Nothing more attractive than a shiny and bloated overweight face. I bet he gets all the girls.

  11. SexySmurf

    I would like to take this opportunity to remind President Obama that I am still available to be Ambassador to the Bahamas. My qualifications are that it's currently 40 degrees and raining in Seattle.

  12. SayItWithWookies

    Anyone who thinks the certainty that something isn't going to happen would preclude speculation about it hasn't spent a year hearing about the impending Mayan apocalypse. I swear the next human who brings this topic up in earnest is going to get a stern and pedantic lecture.

    Edit: corrected "pedentic." Of all fuckin' words to misspell.

  13. Wile E. Quixote

    My response to this article at the Daily Caller and many others is simply this "'heckuva job Brownie', now shut the fuck up."

  14. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I just want to make sure I understand Tucker's latest news coup de grâce:

    1) People are speculating that Wintour may be appointed ambassador to England or France.
    2) Wintour gave money to Obama.
    3) Presidents have never appointed donors to ambassadorships.
    4) Wintour has said she wouldn't take the job anyway.
    5) ? ? ?
    6) Profit!

    Well, it does make as much sense as a news story as anything on Benghazi.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      Hey, they're experts at creating their own reality, remember? Consider such examples as Chris Christie running for president; Chris Christie getting the VP nomination; Mitt Romney in a landslide; Fast & Furious blowing the lid off the administration; the New Black Panthers scandal blowing the lid off the administration; Benghazi blowing the lid off the administration; Solyndra blowing the lid off the administration; the birth certificate; the other birth certificate; Benghazi. It's just proof that where you say there's smoke, there's fire.

  15. Chet Kincaid_

    I would consider a posting as Special Attaché to the Lovely Ladies of Barbados, birthplace of Rihanna. (No, I am not going to do your fap-pic search for you, everyone will want the job then!!)

    1. Tundra Grifter


      Did you happen to see the photos of the Canary Island "dance team" performing at the '04 Olympics beach volleyball games?

      Oh, My!

  16. cousinitt

    Screw Wintour (at your peril), but Jerry Lewis is a shoe-in for Ambassador to France. It's a win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win.

  17. Exhausted66

    Ladies with an attitude
    Fellows that were in the mood
    Don't just stand there, let's get to it
    Strike a pose, there's nothing to it
    Ambassadorship, Ambassadorship…ship…ship.

  18. DahBoner

    Daily Caller: I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.

    OOOH! Our first prank call!

    1. Designer_Rants

      It's there in case you start to think your libtardery is getting too extreme. Then you go to newshacks and realize you're counterbalancing the Dark Side of the force.

  19. poorgradstudent

    There's also a very ancient tradition of heads of state appointing people they needed to discreetly get rid of or just didn't like to diplomatic posts in far-off little outposts.

    Hmm, maybe Obama can show he's not biased at all and make Tucker Carlson the ambassador to Nauru? Sure, they have almost no sandy beaches; it has the most obese population on the planet (so no hot tropical babes and/or dudes to gawk at, most likely); a large piece of the island has been rendered virtually uninhabitable by decades of reckless phosphorous mining; and you can walk around the whole country in a matter of hours, but they're up-and-coming because I hear they got two hotels now!

    1. BadKitty904

      Thomas Jefferson, to his Secretary of State: "We have not heard from our Ambassador in Spain for two years. If we do not hear from him this year, let us write him a letter."

  20. corthylio

    Just one more thing, girl.
    You give back your ring to me, and I will set you free,
    Go with him.

  21. fishwharf

    I'm giving Obama the opportunity to prove once and for all that he does not give wealthy donors choice diplomatic posts. I didn't give him a dime yet I stand ready and willing to serve as Ambassador to the Court of St. James.

  22. DemonicRage

    This is in the tradition of President Clinton appointing Pamela Harriman to be Ambassador to France. Unfortunately, she died after swimming laps in the Ritz Hotel pool, so I would caution Ambassador Wintour to stay out of the damned pool!

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Gee, I didn't know that. I figured she just went face-down in the soup during a faaaabulous dinner party in the middle of a story about giving Edward R. Murrow a blow job.

  23. Negropolis

    Honestly, though, wouldn't this be awesome? A movie would eventually come from it, no doubt. I mean, appointing a woman so imperious she'd make the Queen blush?

    BTW, that Blingee damn near gave me a seizure. Wonkette is all cracked out, at the moment.

  24. malsperanza

    Wait, I thought we hated France. Full of cheese-eating snooty communist types who have healthcare, damn their sorry well-dressed asses. Shouldn't we be pleased at the idea of sending them an unqualified bint as ambassador?

    Sigh. I miss the days when Republican presidents thought it was a good idea to appoint Shirley Temple to an ambassadorship. Twice.

    State Dept. needs moar dimples.

    1. FlownOver

      Nixon was ill-advised. He was told (by either Haldeman or Ehrlichman, whom he couldn't tell apart) it would be a harmless bit of racial outreach to make Shirley Temple Black US. Ambassador to Ghana.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      AZ probably has more military installations per capita than any state (OK, maybe South Carolina). Like she couldn't visit the troops at home.

  25. valthemus

    It's hard for me to even look at The Daily Caller or Breitbart these days. It's like the moment when you realize your "crazy uncle" isn't being funny, he talks like that because he's seriously schizophrenic and probably needs medical attention.

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