We Still Call It Price Club So Get Off Our Lawn

Sad Slob Mitt Romney Just Deliberately Messing With Our Heads Now

Look at Mr. Cool DisguiseHey, remember that Mitt Romney guy? Yeah, us neither, really, but apparently he was expecting to be president, since it was his birthright or something? And now, he’s just wandering around in a sad daze, with only his hundreds of millions of dollars for company. Poor dude. So like any US American who’s feeling a little down, he went shopping. And, apparently because he is something of a masochist, he went to CostCo, inviting mocking comparisons to Old Handsome Joe Biden, who recently pushed a cart around at the very same discount warehouse chain for the good of the economy.

The Atlantic’s Alexander Abad-Santos notes the contrast between

the symmetry and perfect, Tetris-like precision fit that Biden’s cart is sporting and the undulating cauldron of entropy on the left topped by generic paper towels

And much more to the point: “that hat.” (It is an asshat wearing a hat!)

Needless to say, the Wonkette Secret Chatcave was ringing with mirthy schadenfreude:

“But the Costco CEO spoke at the DNC! Shouldn’t Mitt go to Sam’s Club?”

“He’s all like, you won’t see ME locking myself in the bedroom and crying all over Thanksgiving! Nope, I’m a man with offices to be at and Costcos to look weird in!”

“Costco is his version of Corey Booker’s living off food stamps. The poor man just wants to connect.”

“Is that Ann behind him? She looks like she is on Laura Bush style buckets of Valium and Luudes.”

“Remember how Ann was worried about Mitt’s mental health if he got elected?”

And so, we turn the snarkage over to You, the Wonkettariat: What’s the next Joe Biden Signature Move we can expect Mitt to incompetently copy? Will Mitt decide to buy a bitchen muscle car, but end up honoring his dad by getting a 1979 AMX (or maybe a Gremlin GT)? Or maybe he’ll pose with a biker chick, only her old man will punch his lights out?

[AtlanticWire]

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About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

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344 comments

          1. C_R_Eature

            I recognized it instantaneously. It's It's a good one. As are these:

            "Ah hahahahahahaha they're gonna die."

            "They're in the Yahhd, Naht too Faaah from the Caaah."

            And The One Line That Everyone Remembers.

    1. miss_grundy

      The way he's wearing that cap it looks like a jockey's hat. Did he park Rafalca in the parking lot? Why is he at a Costco anyway? Doesn't he know that his kind is supposed to patronize Sam's Club with its unhappy employees who don't have health care? If he's trying to pass himself off as a RINO, he can forget about it. And he can go and hang with the forty-seven percenters at Walmart.

    2. StillGoinGreen

      You would think with a couple hundred super sized, he could afford a proper cover for the HUMONGOUS MEELON!!

      1. tessiee

        Costco actually does stock hats in size Humungous; it's just that you have to buy a package of 8 of them all duct taped together.

    1. AlaskaGrrl

      Maybe doing the Costco run IS his job at Marriott. "Hey Mitt, we're out of paper towels for the break room…."

    2. starfanglednut

      WTF is wrong with that guy? He's 64 and fabulously wealthy. why doesn't he retire and travel around the world. you wouldn't catch me sitting in a fucking Marriot boardroom if I were that rich. Jeez.

    1. rickmaci

      He's waiting for the hair coloring to grow out. When he finally takes off his hats in a month or so, we will see he is totally gray and has been sporting a dye job.

    2. LionHeartSoyDog

      Dingleberry does not know how to wear a "baseball cap" and not grimace.
      Grim Ass being the lovely #1 bride.

      1. actor212

        And all the non-union laborers in right-to-work states are paid at the prevailing union wages of other stores.

        ETA: Also, too…

        In 2010, Mercy for Animals conducted an undercover investigation at Buckeye Veal Farm, a veal supplier to Costco.[53] Immediately following the investigative release, Costco adopted a policy against purchasing veal from producers that use the crate-and-chain production method.[54] The case prompted Ohio decision-makers to vote in favor of a veal crate phase-out in the state.[55]

        In 2012, Mercy for Animals conducted an undercover investigation at a pork supplier to Costco, Walmart, Safeway, Kroger, and Kmart.[56] Before the public release of the investigation, Costco announced they would begin requiring their pork suppliers to phase out gestation crates.[57] [58]

        1. HempDogbane

          The pork supplier was Christenson Farms, headquartered in MN. The founder and CEO, Bob Christenson, dropped dead while hunting last month. He was in his 50s.

      2. Lot_49

        All that notwithstanding, what's evil about Costco is the manipulative tactics (erratic availability, giant shopping barges, fee-for-membership, jam-packed parking lots, shrink-wrapping things into larger packaging) they use to force people to buy more than they need because they don't know when it will be available again, it's so much goddamn trouble to get in and out of the store, and holy crap THIS IS SO CHEAP!

        All big-time retailers manipulate their customers. Costco just does it too brazenly. And if you shop at the same store for a few years you can watch the employees get fatter and fatter….

        1. actor212

          But you know that going in, when you have to buy the membership. I mean, it's hardly a bait and switch tactic. I shop there when I need to stock up on staples like paper towel and toilet paper, coffee, stuff like that, and their prices are consistently lower than any supermarket.

          And for big families, it's a huge blessing to be able to buy one pork tenderloin or package of chicken parts and know it will feel all six people. Plus, people pool their funds and shop for multiple families at a time on one membership.

          About the only place I've seen cheaper is on Amazon, but really, who wants to order a case of 48 rolls of paper towel?

          1. actor212

            Well, you mention that all retailers engage in this kind of manipulation, which is true. After all, it's a competitive market out there, and unfortunately, just giving good quality products at consistently low prices isn't going to cut it in this world anymore. You have to draw customers in to see those prices and so some sleight of hand will be involved.

            So if everything else is equal, I kinda like shopping at a place that treats their employees with dignity.

          2. sullivanst

            It's certainly the case that BJs indulges in every single manipulative practice enumerated here, but also indulges in union busting practices that would warm the heart of any Walton.

        2. Trinket

          And if you shop at the same store for a few years you can watch the employees get fatter and fatter….

          That happens at every store, doesn't it? I sort of thought it was because the employees get older as the years go by. Besides, there are worse things in the world than being fat. Some people are mean, for example. Or union-busters. Or Wall Street bankers.

        3. MaxUdargo

          They're Nazis, actually.

          I used to work for an egg company. We got the contract to supply Costco in northern California. But we had to meet with them and discuss a few things. Basically, they sat us down in a room and explained to us that we were not only going to be responsible for delivering eggs to them, but we were going to have to track the egg inventory at each of their stores and maintain their inventory levels. So we had to train our truck drivers to go into the Costco and take an inventory every time they made a delivery. Then the truck driver brought the count back to our customer service department and they had to write up the order for the next shipment based on the driver's inventory. I had to write a program to track shipments and inventory levels for each store so we could project usage and maintain adequate, but not excessive, levels. They had a strict spoils policy and of course we paid for all the "spoils" (out-of-date eggs).

          By the end of the meeting, they were all cackling maniacally and shoving dildos up our asses. We just sobbed and waited for it to end. What were we going to do? It was a huge account.

          And, also, I once tried to shop there and they asked me for my "papers." I guess you have to have a membership card or something. They have thugs who enforce this, and they dragged me out of the store and threw me to the sidewalk. I begged them and showed them my money, but they only laughed. They didn't want my money. I wasn't the right kind of person.

          Fucking Nazis.

          1. Lascauxcaveman

            LOL, those jackbooted Costco Nazi enforcer thugs. The one at my local store is about 4'10" and 65 years old. I'm pretty sure her granddaughter and my kid went to the same Lutheran pre-school, back in the day.

            I should ask her about that, next time she throws me to the pavement and boot-stomps my neck for getting out my membership card too slowly.

    1. miss_grundy

      They also carry yummy kettle popcorn which is the most addictive thing, evah! And if you're hungry, nothing beats the samples. You can sample yourself lunch. Does Sam's Club do that?

    2. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Meh. If you don't need it or you can't use it, don't buy it. I don't think evil means what you think it means.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Seriously. If you want to say consumerism is evil, then we're all guilty to some degree. Costco is the most benign multinational business you'll ever find. It's the customers (myself included) who are evil.

        1. BadKitty904

          My brother says Cosco is the "good one," Walmart is the "bad one." But I don't go to either, sooo…

          1. LionHeartSoyDog

            I don't buy crap.
            Therefore, i don't shop much in Murka, 'cept for groceries and gasoline.

  1. skmind

    Smart!

    Costco does have that strict 30 day return policy. Returning the supplies he got for his rally attenders to donate to him for Sandy shows how fiscally responsible he is.

    ROMNEY RYAN 2016!

    1. GhostBuggy

      "Mr. Romney, what would you like me to get for you to donate to hurricane victims?"

      "Eh, just grab an assload of paper towels. There are puddles in their vestibules or something, right?"

    1. StillGoinGreen

      Nope, no mondo pack of the Charmin – they have the help clean the mutton off the mittens. Else they don't shit – you pick.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        Ann claimed Mitt bought his white shirts at Costco. I guess when you're that rich you just wear one and then throw it away. Or donate it to poor Mormons for a tax break at Brooks Brothers prices. But I don't see any white shirts in that cart. He must plan on being unemployed for awhile.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      See, an ordinary person spend his life avoiding tense situations. Romneyman spends his life getting into tense situations. Let's go get a drink!

      (Interior: Otto and Bud Ann and Mitt in a store

      BudMitt sets 2 six packs of "drink" down on the counter.)

    1. glasspusher

      Beat me by an hour. Damn this day job!

      …and yet they still stay strong, even when wet, unlike the Romneys!

  2. iburl

    Maybe he will copy Biden and start plagiarizing or have a son serve in the military. Ha ha, just kidding, American Jesus has to keep them safe for each of their failed 12 year runs for president.

    1. fitley

      Why doesn't Mitt adopt a child to send into the Army? He could adopt him one week shy of his 18th birthday and then off he goes to Afghanistan.

  3. Mittaplasia

    You can tell Mittens never bagged groceries or even packed a suitcase in his life. Meanwhile, Ann stands in the background, occasionally goosing him with a cattle prod.

    1. Close_Read

      He clearly craves the attention. Otherwise he'd have Consuelo hit Costco. He probably rushes home to check Twitter to see how quickly the pics went viral.

      Next he'll show up at a miniature golf course.

  4. actor212

    Mitt will go to a biker bar and have one of the chicks sit on his lap.

    However, he will have been sadly mishandled by his staff and end up at some twee coffeeshop in Cambridge with some rotund chick in spandex crushing his man-bits, talking about deraileurs and fixies.

    1. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      This photo should go on a Wonket mug. It would go well with a big ol' cuppa schadenfreude.

      1. Close_Read

        Nah, Becca is trying to SELL mugs.

        Some Mitten schadenfreude would fly off the shelves, though.

  5. fartknocker

    The towels are for Mittens and Ann to wipe up the tears of sadness. Or maybe it's to clean up after Rafalca when he take a shit on his new horse elevator.

  6. ProgressiveInga

    “Is that Ann behind him? She looks like she is on Laura Bush style buckets of Valium and Luudes.”

    Ann is powerless over the poors and her life has become unmanageable.

      1. tessiee

        I'm glad I was sitting down when I read this, or I would have fainted from the sheer awesomeness of it.

  7. Esteev

    Photos of Mitt winning an election.

    AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAH

    *passes out* *regains consciousness*

    AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAH

    1. tessiee

      The only way that article could possibly have been better is if it had also included Hobo Paul Ryan yelling at passing cars.

  8. johnnymeatworth

    I can only hope he's going to wrap his Xmas presents with the toilet paper and use the holiday paper to wipe his ass….

  9. Antispandex

    Those aren't even real things! Who ever heard of a comically gianormous package of something called "Towel"? And yes, the hat is…not Presidential…at all.

  10. actor212

    Joe Biden goes to Costco. He buys a flat screen TV, books, looks like an appliance. He buys presents and gifts for people.

    Mitt Romney goes to Costco. He buys paper towel (sic), fruit juice, wrapping paper, and I think those are napkins under the box. He buys supplies for the help.

  11. hagajim

    I'm sure he's just stocking up his LaJolla home for the apocolypse. You know the Mormons has to keep a year supply of stuff on hand for disasters and all. Mitt just moved back to Cali once the car elevator got finished so he's just cold stocking his supplies as Moroni declared he should.

    1. sullivanst

      Apparently they haven't actually started the remodel, so no car elevator yet. Lobbyist must still be busy, though.

  12. carlgt1

    This will make you sad – if Mitt converted his $250 million into gold, at $1700 per ounce, that would be 92 shopping carts each filled with 100 pounds of gold he has to slavishly push around….

    1. yyyaz

      Just in the interest of the veracity that our Wonkette is so justly famous for, it's even worse. Gold is measured in Troy ounces, ergo, at 12 ozs. to the pound, El Borgero would need 122.5 shopping carts. One weeps at his burden.

      1. carlgt1

        thanks for the correction, the full monty is: $250 million * 0.0685714286 troy ounces / pound (avoirdupois) / US$1693.65 per troy ounce as I write this / = 10,121.84 pounds (avoirdupois) of gold gold gold so yeah about 100 shopping carts should do it to cart it away to the car elevator…..

  13. CrunchyKnee

    What we can't see from Willard's photo are the several blahs pushing the shopping cart for him. While handsome Joe is cold pushing his loaded cart as if it were the light frilly under-garments of a biker chick.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      I want him to get stuck behind a lardass with two full carts who contests the price of every. single. item., waits until everything is tallied up before digging around in her faux Marc Jacobs feedbag for her "pocketbook," and then proceeds to write a check.

      1. Monsieur_Grumpe

        I love the ones that pay in cash and they haul out their coin purse so they count out 99 cents in pennies.

  14. ProgressiveInga

    I'm concerned about Ann. That's an Isadora Duncan-like scarf she is sporting there. Mitt's not driving a convertible roadster these days, is he?

        1. sullivanst

          No, that was just a dream.

          (OHJB's plagiarism scandal involved a Neil Kinnock speech; Cameron isn't perfectly analogous because he's PM not Leader of the Opposition, more's the pity, but I figured the right/left alignment was likely more significant.)

  15. commiegirl99

    Hey guys, did our servers just get really fast? Aaron at Advomatic says our servers are gonna get really fast. Did they? Huh? Did they? Huh?

    1. CrunchyKnee

      There was a mild disruption in the space time continuum, then things started flowing smoothly. So, either your servers are rocking or the DMT I ate for lunch just kicked in. Either way, I has a happy.

    2. gullywompr

      It's decent. Make sure they are careful with the caching, we need up-to-the second comments here. Right now, performance indeed looks better than earlier today.

    3. Jus_Wonderin

      Oh fuck yes. I got whiplash from opening this posting. I thought it was our company network and all the lazy, loosers piddling on the Intertubez that were slowing down my Wonkette "work".

          1. Jus_Wonderin

            Poor Mom. She has dial-up (even after retiring with full benefits from the Bell System). That sound is the only way she knows she is connected. As an aside I have suggested I would get HughesNet installed and pay the bill and she says "No, this is just fine for me. That would be an extravagance. I can make this do just fine."

            Depression era thinking. Maybe that is why she didn't have to work the rest of her life like I fuckin' will have to do.

        1. tessiee

          There should be a Futurama episode where they consult an ancient oracle and it makes that connecting to AOL sound.

        2. James Michael Curley

          I used a modem connect signal for a ring tone on my smartass phone for a few weeks. People in the office hated it. But I liked the irritated look of people on the bus because I long ago over dosed on loud cell phones and their equally loud users. (And I have severe hearing impairment.)

        3. viennawoods13

          I hadn't even thought of this sound in years. And then not an hour after reading this, I was watching some Craig Ferguson on the youtoobs, and he imitated this very sound.

    4. VodkaGoGo

      It still doesn't load right on my phone. Not that I'm complaining, I miss being able to comment while I'm out and about which is when most of these posts go up.

    5. Jukesgrrl

      For their next magic trick, do you think they could get the "Go to Comment" link to actually go to comment? Can I have that for Christmas, Ma? Huh? Huh??

    6. gullywompr

      Babe, my advice is to really grill your hosting service over this whole Varnish cache thing. It doesn't matter how fast your site is if nobody can get to it and click on the ad thingies.

    7. LIT_Fag

      Must have been my email to the tips line yesterday that did it. Quote:

      For the last 3 days, I can't get Wonkette on Safari on the iPhone. Keeps trying to go to that damn touch.wonkette.com site which apparently no longer exists.

      What do I do? Or what can your IT guys do?
      I am heading to IN Saturday. Please, dear Wonk powers-that-be, do not let me be trapped at my moms for 5 days and only dial up and no way to get my Wonkette fix!

      Thank you for your urgent assistance. Also. Too.

      Best regards
      LIT Fag

      Update: thank the babby Jesus! It works!

  16. DrunkIrishman

    This version of Mitt Romney does not quite understand the dynamics of wearing a baseball cap. It's foreign to him. The Hat Chip needs updating. To him, wearing a baseball cap makes about as much sense as wearing a porcupine. So, I give him some leeway on this one.

    But if this continues through the next upgrade … well, heads will roll.

  17. SuspectedDemocrat

    I'd go for the AMX. Or maybe a Ford Maverick with a 302 and mag wheels. That'd be sweet.

      1. tessiee

        How they ever get warm enough to, is a mystery.
        But you know Those People — they never miss a chance to smell bad.
        It must have something to do with that dreadful inexpensive clothing they insist upon wearing.

  18. Pragmatist2

    Man this pisses me off! The other day there is a story where he order Thanksgiving dinner from Boston Market and now Costco. He's like a guy who wins $200,000,000 in the lottery and announces he will put new siding on his house.It's just an enormous waste of being rich.

  19. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Mitt and Ann thought a store that required a membership would be a bit less pedestrian. Bet they won't make that mistake again.

    1. Disassembly

      Nah, he'll probably lose his nerve halfway, say fudging, then tell Cratchit that, bad news, he's gotta work Christmas again.

  20. DahBoner

    That hat!

    Obama's Drones: Target Acquired. Disengage! Target Has Absolutely No Value Possible Decoy

  21. ttommyunger

    At the risk of seeming redundant: Mitt who? C'mon Wonkette, let's hear about some relevant power-players on the Right……….Oh right, crickets.

  22. Ruhe

    Why? That's all I can say. Why? I've been around people with crazy wealth on occasion and there's something truly pathetic about seeing people with money shop cost-consciously the way you and I would. What's the point of being rich if you're still going to sweat details like the cost of paper towels?

    1. Trinket

      No shit. Plus, I would totally hire someone to go buy the paper towels. Not to mention the rest of the household stuff. And a driver. God, I hate driving.

      Now, see, if *I* were rich, I *would* be a job creator. And I'd pay all my employees six-figure salaries and pay for their health insurance, too.

  23. Chet Kincaid_

    "paper plates, dixie cups, wrapping paper, V8 juice drinks, pretzel snacks, Bisquick and bottled water"

    Wow, this is going to be the best Romney Estate Domestic Staff Christmas Party ever!!

    1. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      paper plates, dixie cups

      He doesn't want the help to get their sticky fingers all over the real plates and cups.

  24. rickmaci

    OMG. Creepin old hairy white guy in shorts showing pencil legs, just peeking out between the bars of that cart. Man, when the gods strike a man down for his hubris, they really don't fuk around, do they?

      1. Jus_Wonderin

        The only way it could be worse (better) is if he was wearing black kneehigh socks and dress shoes. There is a phase for this. Uh. Hmmm. Oh. "Lacks self awareness". Maybe?

      2. BadKitty904

        I'm tellin' y'all, he's just a step away from goin' full Dick-Nixon and buyin' a metal detector…

  25. FakaktaSouth

    Shopping at CostCo is the first time Mitt has ever supported union workers who make a living wage. Take his money folks, he owes you.

  26. NinjaCat_Baba

    Mittens, "Need to stock up on my trip to Kolob to weather the pending 2012 Mayan Apocaylpse."

  27. Poindexter718

    Mitt's buying in bulk for all the sisterwives now that he's got no need to hide it.

    Also, that's called TV anchorman hat.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Oh man, that is delicious. And lookit Ann trying to be so clever by stashing her case o'Kotex underneath the industrial-sized box of Club crackers.

      1. elviouslyqueer

        I'm not going to judge, because I have one exactly like that.

        But then again, I'm GAY, also, too.

        1. Jus_Wonderin

          Well, of course you can sport that and look fabulous. I do have a "Polo" nearly that bright. I am going to wear it to Jury Duty next week.

    2. BadKitty904

      This has GOT to be a sign, I tells ya!

      Of what, tho, I dunno, other than a sad, desperate plea for attention…

  28. kittensdontlie

    Breaker breaker 10-40…I'm flying solo on the left-coast heading for a toll booth with my green stamps. I got too many eggs in my basket and my other half has gotta get home to pop some beans.

  29. JackDempsey1

    I want to see him use one of those self-scanning check-out things.

    The fascinating confrontation of machine-vs-machine is the principle reason that the "Transformers" franchise is recognized as a masterpiece.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      But, they'd have to shrink it "Fantastic Voyage" style for it to fit. Can water get that hot?

  30. OneYieldRegular

    I had an incredibly strange dream just last night – I'm not making this up – in which Mitt Romney had cut all ties with everyone. He was out wandering America's dusty backroads wearing a sarape and hat just like Clint Eastwood in "A Fistful of Dollars" and giving sermons to the air. No one was paying him much attention.

    1. tessiee

      *background music*
      Oooee ooee ooh… womp womp wahhhh…
      And why not, Clint Eastwood's last appearance was giving a sermon to a chair.

  31. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Why is he wearing a baseball cap at all, if he's gonna wear it way the fuck up on top of his head like that? It looks like one of those silly equestrian skull buckets that you wear while dancing with your horse.

  32. GregComlish

    First Boston Market then Costco? What the fuck is going on? Why isn't he having his servants take care of all this? Shouldn't he be hiding in the Cayman Islands?

    1. tessiee

      There was an old "Sylvia" cartoon about a man with low expectations trying to make a deal with the Devil:
      Man: I'd like a a house.
      Devil: WHAT?? You can have wealth! Power! You can buy your own house! You can buy ten houses!
      Man: Also, it should have an attached carport.

    1. tessiee

      Whatever t-shirts they sell at Costco are bound to look better than that eagle-bedecked horror show she thought it was a good idea to wear.

  33. cletar

    He needs that giant hogshead of paper towels to wipe up HIS UNENDING SAD TEARS.

    Poor bastard is just this close to getting a presidential loser intervention from Mike Dukakis and Walter Mondale.

  34. cletar

    I'm frankly surprised he's getting all those towels. I thought he would just cry into a silver Tiffany tear-bucket, like Newt.

  35. Jus_Wonderin

    Where is the CostCo checker that would be running after them saying "Sir. Sir. You dropped this bolt and circuit board".

  36. GoodDogThor

    Not Rmoney… that's Warren Beatty prep'ing for his fish-out-of-water buddy comedy "Post Election Mitt goes to Peoria" or "How I learned to relax and stop worrying about the country…".

    1. bearperney

      Audi. How freakin' mormon is that? Dude with his money ought to settle for nothing less than an Aston Martin Volante, 510 hp, zero to 60 in 4.3 seconds. Of course, this is the guy who rides on the back of his wife's jet ski, so, meh!

  37. BlueStateLibel

    That is seriously BAD on so many levels …wearing baseball cap and a weird one at that, generic paper towels, Egg Romney ten feet behind wearing designer duds to go to Costco. The rich are different, yes, they're really weird (see "Grey Gardens," Edith Wharton, etc.).

  38. Secluded Compound

    It would be awesome if that was a super-mega-rack of Keystone that was under Ol' Joe's cart.

  39. HarryButtle

    Look at that hat! Jeez, do you get a free bowl of soup with that hat? Looks good on Mitt, though…[rolls eyes]

  40. bearperney

    Hey! Ann's cart has a big plastic jar of those square peanut butter filled pretzel things!
    We've got them too, salty crunchy on the outside with dried up peanut butter on the inside… Yum!

  41. Jennyjen798

    It's a TRAP! (Of course he's fucking with our heads!) This is a guy who would do or say anything to get elected. He's "slumming" with us poors so he'll have plenty of middle class cred for his next White House run.

    Duhs! He ran a campaign about as well as a high school class president election and still got 47% of the vote. I'm sure his perma employed campaign advisors are telling him, next time we've gotta be more "real." Next time, it's in the bag! Next stop…Taco Bell for a dorito taco supreme and large mountain dew! Anne will cut it with a fork, I imagine.

  42. Troglodeity

    And then Ann and Mitt sat down on those greasy Costco plastic chairs and had matching $1.50 Hotdog and Coke combo specials.

  43. Dashboard Buddha

    Mitt's picture: I don't care where he spends his post defeat pity party as long as the picture describing thus is not a finger-licking Palin-esque pool side crotch shot.

  44. malsperanza

    Poor Mitt. Isn't it time to let him and Ann alone? Hey, stop it! Private life is hard. And, you know, it’s an important thing that the Romneys are doing right now and it is time for all Americans to realize how significant this pre-Christmas sale is and how lucky we are to have someone with Mitt’s qualifications and experience and know-how to be able to have the opportunity to go shopping.

    You You want to try it? Get in the ring. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHmvkRoEowc

  45. redarmyzombie

    Say, is it just me, or does Willard there look like he just came ashore from the SS Date Rape?

  46. MrDorkbutt

    Yikes. With the hat and glasses it would appear his next stop would be to the playground to try and touch children.

  47. gullywompr

    Well, I imagine they are nice folks who care about people, no doubt they are doing their best. Try to take it easy on your liver during the process.

  48. Limeylizzie

    OT Tamron Hall is looking so sexy today, dark nude dress, excellent statement necklace and she has some luminous skin product on her sweet, caramel shoulders, oh and she just showed a really pretty dark coral manicure. Hey I could bend her over the Costco cart as Mitt wheeled us around the store and Anne could use those "Towel" towels to mop up. Am I a lesbian?

  49. Roger_of_Arabia

    Maybe Mitt will copy Biden by getting Ann and the kids killed in a car accident since Ryan opened the door to that discussion in the debate.

  50. DahBoner

    With that stupid hat, Mitch is stealing my schtick

    I've learned that when you dress like a cowboy/trucker, everyone thinks you're STUPID, which creates low expectations, so everytime I say or do something AVERAGE then they think I'm a GENIUS…

  51. Lazy Media

    Mittens, if asked to buy a classic muscle car, would probably buy a Mustang II. "It's 2.0, so it must be better, right?"

  52. VeraSevera

    While speaking at a rally, Ann holds out her thumb and forefinger only to realize that she has inadvertently made a reference to the size of Mittens' gizmo. Everyone giggles nervously.

  53. valthemus

    Is that a "Fuck you, peasants!" Hermés scarf Ann Toinette Romney is wearing?

    Doesn't Mitt have henchmen valets and footmen to do that kind of thing for him? Has "Downton Abbey" been lying to us about what rich people are like?

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