(Not Kate Middleton’s) Baby News! Hero Business Offers Preggo Employee Bigger Puke Bins, For Freedom!

  bun in the bucket

"You mean I get MY OWN BIN?!"We have news! Pregnancy news! Unfortunately, it is not about Kate Middleton, whom we have never met, but would like to, because WOWIE.

No, no. Listen up, this one is not about royal babies, this one is about America the land of the fucking free, where we do not have duchesses, we have pregnant call center employees who are trying to shirk their work by being pregnant. Good thing her company was free to treat her like a piece of crap, then fire her for having morning sickness. To the company’s credit though, they did try to accommodate her. From Courthouse News:

“On one occasion, defendant’s manager told plaintiff that she would obtain a larger trash can for plaintiff so that she could take care of vomiting without having to visit the bathroom or leave her seat,” the complaint states.

Well, that was kind of them. When confronted with adversity, the heroic American Business Owner resorts to “bigger puke buckets,” because He is resourcesful and doesn’t actually have to do anything.

If she was so sick, couldn’t she take some leave, or something?

 
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She says National Processing harassed throughout her pregnancy, including delaying paperwork for taking leave under the Family Medical Leave Act writing her up for frequent bathroom visits due to morning sickness.

Ah, the old “frequent bathroom visits by a pregnant lady” schtick. Just trying to get out of work, probably, by pretending to puke. Did the company catch on?

“On another occasion, defendant’s manager told plaintiff that defendant did not ‘pay [her] to pee,’ objecting to plaintiff’s necessity to use the bathroom when plaintiff experienced nausea or dizziness due to her pregnancy conditions. Defendant’s manager claimed to plaintiff it was not ‘fair to other employees’ for plaintiff to take excessive bathroom breaks.["]

Yes, when a pregnant woman is ill and has to come to work and then does not magically get better, it’s unfair to everyone but her. What, did you think we were in some horrible socialist country that gives workers a minimum of 24 weeks of maternity leave? We aren’t a bleeding-heart nanny-state, you hippy! That’s Iran. We here in the greatest country in the visible universe don’t have maternity leave! We’re holding down the fort with Swaziland and Papua New Guinea as the last countries ever to not have any, because regulation kills jobs. If you don’t want to need time off, don’t have sex! And if you don’t want employers to base hiring decisions on whether you’re of child-bearing age, don’t be a woman. [Courthouse News]

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132 comments

  1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    “On one occasion, defendant’s manager told plaintiff that she would obtain a larger trash can for plaintiff so that she could take care of vomiting without having to visit the bathroom or leave her seat,” the complaint states.

    See, Romney and the Republicans are right, we don't need any sticking regulations. The market will provide!

    1. actor212

      Yes, no doubt the co-workers sitting on either side of her would easily have been able to contain the gag reflex, especially after a quick lunch of Chinese food.

  2. Goonemeritus

    I just walk the few steps over to the closest office occupied by a right-winger and I puke in one of their desk drawers.

  3. JustPixelz

    Obviously her employer prefers women get abortions rather than cope with the burden of pregnancy in the workplace.

    Your move right to lifers…

  4. Come here a minute

    After the blessed event, this generous job-creator will magnanimously provide permission for in-cubicle breast pumping!

    1. Sparky

      That might be your first guess, but the villain sounds like a garden-variety misogynistic dick to me.

    1. JustPixelz

      That's why I support Afternoon Saving Time: Every morning move the clocks back to 8:00 after you get to work. In the afternoon move the clocks ahead an hour or two or whatever to make it 5:00.

  5. FlownOver

    "The Puke Buckets" is the name of our new Sex Pistols tribute band.

    Also, National Processing is centrally located in Overland Park, Kansas in case any of you have any left over … ahem, votes to bestow.

  6. kissawookiee

    Nikki Haley can relate. Do you even *know* how many giant puke buckets it takes to get an entire state workforce through a day of answering calls with "It's a great day in South Carolina!" ???

  7. skoalrebel

    It's a tough climate for us job creators. [spit!] As a small business man trying to run a meth lab, I find myself constantly being hassled by regulators. [spit!] I may just "go Galt" for the next four years and let society try to carry on without my job creating efforts. [spit!] See how you'd like that, libtards!

  8. edgydrifter

    Let's have a standing slow clap for National Processing of America, for achieving the seemingly impossible–squeezing the last milligram of dignity from a debt collector's life.

  9. noodlesalad

    Sorry, libs, but harassing preggo ladies is how the free market works. It's the invisible hand down the throat.

  10. Oblios_Cap

    Defendant’s manager claimed to plaintiff it was not ‘fair to other employees’ for plaintiff to take excessive bathroom breaks.["]

    There's fair, and then there's fair. They seem to be paying attention to the wrong kind.

  11. corthylio

    To be fair, the supervisor's shoes (now ruined) cost more than the plaintiff earns in a month…

  12. SnarkOff

    "Thank you for calling National Processing of America. Your pregnancy is very important to us. Please select from the following menu options. For unusual cravings, press 1. For swollen ankles, press 2. For sciatica, lower back pain and cramps, press 3. For all other issues, including nausea, morning sickness, lack of access to childcare and debilitating postpartum depression, please remain at your goddamn desk and deal with it. Please note that your call may be monitored to insure quality customer service."

  13. BaldarTFlagass

    If they had been really serious about accomodating her, they'd have replaced her Aeron chair with a toilet, or put a phone connection in the ladies' crapper.

    1. HogeyeGrex

      Hell, a bluetooth headset, even.

      That'd be a fun call. "National Pro*hhuuuuuaaaanhhhnhhh*cessing of Ameri*hhgggghloooaahhhghghghgh*ca…"

  14. Callyson

    defendant’s manager told plaintiff that she would obtain a larger trash can for plaintiff so that she could take care of vomiting without having to visit the bathroom or leave her seat

    And was that genius also going to provide nose plugs for the poor saps who had to sit next to her?

    /asshole

    1. bikerlaureate

      It wouldn't be fair to the employees directly adjacent to her if the smell didn't waft throughout the room.

  15. AlterNewt

    At this special time of the year, let's all take just a moment out of our busy lives and be grateful for the Internet, which makes it so easy to gather together all the ugliness that the world has to offer.

  16. BlueStateLibel

    And yet Ross Douthat (not going to link to that asshat) implores all you women to have more babies! Because it's so easy economically and think of the wage slaves of the future. Anyway, I hope this woman has a fantastic lawyer.

  17. Callyson

    defendant’s manager told plaintiff that defendant did not ‘pay [her] to pee,’ objecting to plaintiff’s necessity to use the bathroom when plaintiff experienced nausea or dizziness due to her pregnancy conditions. Defendant’s manager claimed to plaintiff it was not ‘fair to other employees’ for plaintiff to take excessive bathroom breaks.

    Yeah, because when I call customer service, I always like to talk to a person who is dizzy or nauseous…

    /FFS

  18. kyeshinka

    Instead of getting pregnant, which I'm SURE was done by having SEX, why couldn't this hippy liberal layabout 47%er simply inherit her daddy's real estate business and spend her free time pressuring other nations to preserve exclusive golf courses without girly windmills blocking the views? That's what Real Americans do.

  19. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    They should have just fired her so that she could experience the joys of being a stay at home mom.

  20. betweenstations

    Heartwarming true story:
    When I was in middle school, after doing 20 burpees and running a mile, I told PE instructor goon I was going to puke. She says, of course: NO YOU AREN'T. Then I did. On her shoes.

    They tried to give me detention.

    This lady should have horked on her supervisor. Twice.

    1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Yeah, they hire white guys and black guys and brown guys and all shades of post menopausal women!

  21. SoBeach

    Hey, the employer had to give her permission to get pregnant, right? How can he complain about it later?

  22. Oblios_Cap

    Better to err on the side of being fair to her co-workers than being fair to the preggers filly.

  23. HogeyeGrex

    defendant’s manager told plaintiff that she would obtain a larger trash can for plaintiff

    I don't know how these people get a rap for being unsympathetic.

  24. rickmaci

    Another generation of useless imbecilic self anointed autocrats waiting in line to be very very rich but do nothing for it other than live off other people's labor. No, not Brit royals, Republican business men.

  25. friendlyskies

    New Rule: Anything relating to the human vagina is bad and must be punished, for Adam Smith, Jesus, and the American Way of Life. This is not a "War on Women," however, because if men had vaginas we would punish their activities as well.

  26. An_Outhouse

    Couldn't she smoke some weed while she's in the bathroom? How are all Ross DoucheHat's quiverfull supposed to get birthed if the feminazis don't start thinking creatively?

  27. savethispatient

    Editor:

    We aren’t a bleeding-heart nanny-state, you hippy! the last countries ever to not have any,

    Halp, a broken tag has swallowed up a whole sentence about Iran and Papua New Guinea.

      1. savethispatient

        Oh god, now the pictures have disappeared… WHAT HAVE I DONE?!??

        EDIT: never mind, that was just me. They're back. Phew!

  28. actor212

    Rich, I think you missed a doozy here:

    Roller claims she was also reprimanded for wearing special shoes because her feet were swollen, and she was demoted and refused a transfer due to her pregnancy.

    So her *shoes* got her in trouble? Her shoes???

    Shoes for industry! Shoes for the deaf! Remember….never forget your shoes!

  29. DemmeFatale

    Now I'm a bit of an expert on this subject, (unfortunately).
    Hyperemesis, (ridiculous amount of throwing up while pregnant), two times, people!!
    There is a lot of ignorance and stupidity out there.
    Examples:
    "You're just doing this for the attention." (I can think of more fun ways to get attention.)
    "I never LET myself get sick." (Bitch!)

    Poor woman.

    1. SoBeach

      I've woked with plenty of preggers women and only once did I ever suspect one of them was milking her condition for extra breaks and stuff. But that was because she was. That one always milked everything for extra breaks and sympathy and to get out of work. All the others just tried to get their stuff done.

    2. DustyBowlBlues

      I didn't have morning sickness (I kept all those 40 lbs worth of calories in my rapidly expanding fat layer–well, layers) but I couldn't bear looking at raw meat. The smell revolted me and made me throw up. The sight of it, too. I can't remember what I fed the family during those months, but I came up with something.

      Holding onto a strap on the bus (the only people who ever got up for me were women of child-bearing age. Think of that) and thinking about what to make for dinner and suddenly thinking of that smell and being nauseous (and probably needing to pee again). Good times! Who the hell gets pregnant for the simple joy of taking a few extra potty breaks? A fucking masochist?

      1. DemmeFatale

        Coffee was revolting to me, but the day after I had her, I downed a cup.
        I was sick for 9 mos.
        I lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks, (but gained it all back).
        How did we survive?

  30. BaldarTFlagass

    And when she gives birth, she can just pop the kid out into the bucket and take it home when her shift is over.

  31. Pap Finn

    To paraphrase Dubya (when he spoke to that woman who was working three jobs just to stay above water), larger puke buckets are uniquely American! *grin*

    Is it me, or are more Republican voters beginning to figure out that Free Markets ™ and endless blowjobs for Job Kreators don't necessarily (read: ever) build a heaven on Earth? A guy can dream, right?

      1. Pap Finn

        Hmm…yeah, I forgot for a moment that middle-class conservatism is mostly just a primitive bootlicking reflex. They'll always believe that jacking off the Alphas will get them more bananas in the long run…

    1. SoBeach

      The job creator myth is only one reason people vote republican. Even if republican voters figure out it's a myth they've still got the messcan, blah, and poor people hating reasons to vote republican. And Jesus.

  32. Rebootably_Joe

    Also, I'm told that babbies frequently set up camp directly on top of the bladder, so even the non-pukey prego's often need to make frequent bathroom trips anyway.

    Oh well, I'm sure the extra-large puke bucket they offered the lady would double as a prefectly serviceable chamberpot.

    Rebootably_Joe, Office Innovator.

  33. Redhead

    So let me get this straight. If I get raped, it's God's will and my fault, if I get pregnant from the rape it's God's will and means I really enjoyed the rape and it wasn't REAL rape, and if I then choose not to get an abortion (or can't, because the closest clinic is five hours away and I have to go get an ultrasound wand shoved up my hooha three times and then sit in timeout before I can actually get it) my boss can fire me for being so horribly lazy that I try to make it to the bathroom every time I puke… But I'm somehow sure it's not God's will that I get ANY kind of financial assistance at that point, after being fired.

  34. DahBoner

    If you don’t want to need time off, don’t have sex!

    Finally! A well-reasoned guide for Sluts in the modern workplace….

  35. bravo_sierra

    This provides a nice counterbalance to Douthat's latest plea, More Babies, Please, wherein he decries our "decadent" choice to have fewer or no children. If only the women of America were better people who weren't quite so selfish with their wombs and their desire not to lose their jobs and not puke in front of their coworkers. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/02/opinion/sunday/…?

    1. glasspusher

      What a fuckwit. Having less (or no)kids is by far the most responsible thing one could do these days…

    2. jello_mold

      Won't these tools make up their fucking minds? Having babies is conspicuous consumption for Douthat's class – wasn't having MORE children a "thing" for them not that long ago? Is that not the definition of decadent?

  36. calliecallie

    "Roller seeks actual and punitive damages for violations of the Pregnancy Discrimination Act, Title VII and the Family Medical Leave Act."

    I hope she wins and takes them for enough to fund all her childrens' college educations, at a pricey private school.

  37. anniegetyerfun

    Fuck that, yo. This is the land of family values, where we value families. Just not the slutty pregnant sluts required to create them.

  38. owhatever

    Obamacare is going to force all employers to buy thousands of expensive enamel self-flushing buckets for women to use, which is discriminatory against men. Freedom.

    1. DustyBowlBlues

      Truly. Here in the Dust Bowl (seriously–the temp was a high of 79F with 90% of the state in Extreme Drought, officially) one of my okie neighbors would moan and complain and get worked up if this happened to HER (which it can't because Jeebus and Faux Newz) but fuck yeah. What more did this woman want? Her very own bathroom?.
      RW knows neither irony nor hypocrisy. Hell, they can't even spell either of them.

  39. KotBR

    If we would just give her brave employer more incentives to move her job overseas, we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

      1. glasspusher

        Between the fucking interns and that nosy police department, I get nothing done.

        BTW, nice picture for your avatar. Seen the aurora borealis three times myself. Highly recommended if you haven't…

  40. DustyBowlBlues

    How did she get pregnant? She must be a slut. She works at a job for money. What kind of man wants to marry someone as bitchy and domineering as she must be? Just turns off the eligible men, according to something I read.

    1. bobbert

      Well, it's certainly true that puking into a bucket at her desk would disqualify her from being a "shy girl".

  41. HarryButtle

    What happened to the good old days when a pregnant working woman would head out into the fields in the morning, birth a baby into her bushell-basket at noon, and keep right on picking until sundown?

  42. docterry6973

    I think it would be cool to just pee into the extra-large puke bucket too. Or is that just me?

  43. jello_mold

    This employer is way behind the curve. A few years ago I worked in a call center and every employee had their own bucket.

  44. HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Announcing new Wonkette meme: "bigger puke buckets." I'm sure we can find all sorts of appropriate instances to use this.

    What's the latest Republican proposal for the fiscal cliff? Bigger puke buckets.
    How will Jesse Jackson respond to a federal indictment? Bigger puke buckets.
    What do the Christianists demand in science classrooms? you got it.

    This could pretty much be the solution to all our woes.

  45. jello_mold

    I keep hearing Mittens saying over and over "….IF you're going to have women in the workforce…" Is it just me?

  46. Negropolis

    But, they totally don't want her to have an abortion, 'cause that'd be sinful, right?

    Fuck 'em, and in a place where they can't make babies.

  47. greenloner

    I kept finding myself wondering why most commenters seem to be assuming the "defendant's manager" was a man. I wouldn't be at all surprised to discover that it was a woman (a loathsome one, to be sure, one bucking for promotion for herself by demonstrating to her bosses just how tough-minded and hard-hearted she is). I hasten to add that I am a woman, and I think such women are relatively rare, thank god, but I have seen some in action.

    1. Negropolis

      It really doesn't matter, either way. And, you said it yourself ("I think such women are relatively rare"). Well, if you think/assume this, why are you surprised that others might, too?

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