DISMISSED WITH PREJUDICE  12:43 pm December 3, 2012

Birther Lawyer Orly Taitz Does Not Seem To Be Very Good At ‘Law’

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Orly Taitz, Esq. Well, it has happened AGAIN! Some treason-loving judge has decided that an Orly Taitz Lawsuit Special did not seem to have any basis in “law” or “evidence,” and would not let the realtor/dentist/lawyer/X-Files Fluke-Man compel Occidental College to release President Afrika Bambaataa’s college records even though Ms. Taitz explained to Occidental’s general counsel that if he did not comply,

“Your opposition will constitute Obstruction of Justice, Aiding and Abetting in the elections fraud in forgery and treason in allowing a foreign citizen to usurp the U.S. Presidency with an aid of forged IDs and usurp the civil rights of the U.S. citizens,” she wrote. “At any rate your opposition and your attempt of intimidation and your allegiance or lack of allegiance to the United States of America is duly noted. Just make sure not to forget to bring with you Mr. Obama’s application, registration, and financial aid application.”

So the judge, a fellow from noted Communist and anti-American hub Orange County, California, was all like, “yeah, this is not a compelling argument,” and (this quote is real) “You should know that evidence is not stuff printed from the internet.”

Then Orly Taitz explained that the judge hated America and losing a lawsuit no different from Nazi Germany in the ’30s.

Taitz had a different point of view. “The judge did not give a damn about this country,” she wrote on her blog in response to the ruling.

“Sadly he is not any different from all the other judges. I am yet to see one single judge who gives a damn about this nation. I feel like I am in Nazi Germany in the 1930s.”

sex on a stick


That sounds about right! Then another lawyer, who’d been involved in the case on behalf of Occidental, went on the radio and called Orly Taitz a rhesus monkey. Also also, Fraulein Doktor Taitz has to give Occidental $4,000 smackeroos.

[OccidentalWeekly]

 
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{ 197 comments }

mrpuma2u December 3, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Since she is livng the Nazi Germany dream, she can hope that Jesse Owen's performance in the '36 Olympics will lift her spirits.

actor212 December 3, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Clearly, she's been forced to shave her head for lice and wear only dingy gray pajamas.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 3, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Jesse Owen's was a well known Kenyan. Why would that make Orly feel better?

Antispandex December 3, 2012 at 2:20 pm

This is the kind of hyperbole that the political right is so adept at. Literally everything that upsets them is as bad as the worst tragedy of the twentieth century. My gosh, what would our Oily do if those FEMA camps weren't just a figment of her imagination?

emmelemm December 3, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Slightly on-topic, I got about 20-30 spam emails this weekend about FEMA buying 10,000 plastic coffins, and aren't I scared?

drbill0620 December 3, 2012 at 6:05 pm

…or lift her skirt. She needs a good…well, you know…

Negropolis December 4, 2012 at 1:18 am

This is SO full of win it's ridiculous.

PeaceWithHonor December 3, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I only voted for Obama to get more Orly, anyway.

boskolives December 3, 2012 at 1:39 pm

If you had voted for Mitt, I suppose that you'd be getting it Analy about now.

HistoriCat December 3, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Oh sure – now you tell me!

Sue4466 December 3, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Ah, so she must be one of those gifts Obama was handing out.

BaldarTFlagass December 3, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I wonder what it's like to have this person work on your teeth.

Beowoof December 3, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Did you ever see Marathon Man?

BadKitty904 December 3, 2012 at 12:54 pm

"Iss it safe?"

Tommy1733 December 3, 2012 at 1:09 pm

"Is the real birf certificate safe?"

malsperanza December 3, 2012 at 12:57 pm

"golf clap"

It's always a pleasure to see Godwin's Law applied well.

sullivanst December 3, 2012 at 1:05 pm

She's very white, and about as angelic as Dr. Szoll.

smokefilledroommate December 3, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Like Orin Scrivello but with a law degree.

rickmaci December 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

…or your lawsuit.

actor212 December 3, 2012 at 1:43 pm

"You need a root canal"

"But I wear full dentures!"

drbill0620 December 3, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Drill – baby – drill…

viennawoods13 December 3, 2012 at 12:47 pm

She better get back to work at the dentist office if she's gonna pay back Occidental. Maybe Mitt needs some work on his bicuspids.

keliel December 3, 2012 at 2:15 pm

What dentist office? She's the inspiration for all crazy dentists everywhere.

Come here a minute December 3, 2012 at 12:48 pm

"I feel like I am in Nazi Germany in the 1930s.”

Insofar as life is a cabaret, old chum.

One_who_wanders December 3, 2012 at 12:54 pm

And money makes the world go around . . . .

Geminisunmars December 3, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Good nacht, krystalls.

PubOption December 3, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Tomorrow doesn't belong to her.

barto December 3, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Taitz or GTFO!

not that Dewey December 3, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Be careful what you wish for.

Mahousu December 3, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Leave out the "or."

Severen13 December 3, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Wwwaaaahhh!! Everyone is so mmeeaaaannnn to poor little her!! Orly Taits is going to tell her mommy on you!! Wwwaaahhh!!

DaveJ December 3, 2012 at 12:49 pm

O RLY? (Taint.)

Gleem McShineys December 3, 2012 at 8:07 pm
noodlesalad December 3, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Laws. How do they work?

BadKitty904 December 3, 2012 at 1:01 pm

"Here at Acme Correspondence Law School, we'll show you how! Hi, my name is Troy McClure. You may remember me from such films as 'Buck Henderson, Union Buster' and 'Hitler Doesn't Live Here Any More'…"

Kid_Charlemagne December 3, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Her business card turns into a sponge when you put it in water.

noodlesalad December 3, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Law College, too?

boskolives December 3, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Nope, it was the "Close Cover Before Striking" School of Law for me.

Negropolis December 4, 2012 at 1:20 am

Jurisprudence goes in, rulings go out. You can't explain it.

Disassembly December 3, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Godwin bless America.

Beowoof December 3, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Clarence Darrow has a sad; that this woman ever was able to obtain a license to practice law.

BadKitty904 December 3, 2012 at 1:03 pm

She needs to practice harder. LOTS harder.

MacRaith December 3, 2012 at 12:50 pm

How dare that judge treasonously uphold the law and the Constitution! There's nothing more un-American than that!

memzilla December 3, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Wasn't that an old Russ Meyer movie, Orly, She-Wolf of the SS?

gullywompr December 3, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Classic.

boskolives December 3, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Is that the one where "Rosebud" was a Panzer Tank?

Cleopatriot December 3, 2012 at 12:51 pm

This woman has a really insane hobby.

gullywompr December 3, 2012 at 12:51 pm

You know who else felt like they were in Nazi Germany in the 1930s?

BaldarTFlagass December 3, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Dammit.

gullywompr December 3, 2012 at 12:58 pm

This town ain't big enough for the two of us, Baldar.

Geminisunmars December 3, 2012 at 12:59 pm

My husband really was. He would like to say to Orly "I knew Nazi Germany. This country is no Nazi Germany. You, however, would have fit in quite well."

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 3, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I'm never good at these:

The Brady Bunch when they were in Hawaii?

Hammiepants December 3, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I would be hella pissed if I were a Rhesus monkey.

Troglodeity December 4, 2012 at 12:36 am

Rhesus Monkey Libel!

BaldarTFlagass December 3, 2012 at 12:52 pm

"I feel like I am in Nazi Germany in the 1930s."

You know who else felt like they were in Nazi Germany in the 1930s?

DrunkIrishman November 27, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Is it too late to give McCain back to the Viet Cong?

memzilla December 3, 2012 at 12:54 pm

300,000 Communist Party members?

sewollef December 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I haz my pedantist head on this morning, sorry:

360,000 members, 5.3 million supporters* [Federal election result of 1932].

*How many of those can you get under your bed?

memzilla December 3, 2012 at 12:55 pm

The Duke and Duchess of Windsor?

Geminisunmars December 3, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Gullywompr?

Chet Kincaid_ December 3, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Damn you!

Mojopo December 3, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Jan Brady

Kid_Charlemagne December 3, 2012 at 1:07 pm

That guy who married Sandra Bullock?

Chet Kincaid_ December 3, 2012 at 1:15 pm

gullywompr?

BaldarTFlagass December 3, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Et tu, Brute?

rickmaci December 3, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Prescott Bush?

not that Dewey December 3, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Charles Lindbergh?

WhatTheHolyHeck December 3, 2012 at 12:52 pm

"You're a fucking idiot" ≠ "Intimidation"

sullivanst December 3, 2012 at 1:07 pm

"Show cause" is a little closer.

WhatTheHolyHeck December 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm

…to "you're a fucking idiot." Agreed.

Callyson December 3, 2012 at 12:52 pm

"I feel like I am in Nazi Germany in the 1930s.”

First they came for the loony wingnuts…

Steverino247 December 3, 2012 at 2:13 pm

And I said, "Well, it's about fucking time…"

Negropolis December 4, 2012 at 1:23 am

And I readily pointed them out and gave addresses.

Oblios_Cap December 3, 2012 at 12:53 pm

“I would like to take credit for a spectacular job preparing
papers and going down to the Orange County Superior Court and arguing this case
and getting sanctions, but I honestly believe a rhesus monkey could have beaten
Ms. Taitz and got a sanction award based on the awful lack of merit to the
subpoena itself…”

That's gotta leave a mark.

It's Deja Vu all over again in some of these articles. It's like we keep repeating the same comments from days ago!

BaldarTFlagass December 3, 2012 at 1:04 pm

My attorney is a Rhesus monkey, and I still walk the streets a free man.

BadKitty904 December 3, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I suspect rhesus monkeys make better dentists, too.

drbill0620 December 3, 2012 at 6:08 pm

And the monkey would have been better looking — and smarter…

memzilla December 3, 2012 at 12:53 pm

"I feel like I am in Nazi Germany in the 1930s.”

Very efficient: a self-Godwin-ing wingtard.

FlownOver December 3, 2012 at 12:53 pm

The laws is a cruel mistress.

Thank you, Madame Orly. May I have another?

SayItWithWookies December 3, 2012 at 12:54 pm

So the only real American left — is a Russian?

sullivanst December 3, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Moldova libel!

FlownOver December 3, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Today we are all Taitzians.

Chet Kincaid_ December 3, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Wait, what did I say 4 days ago about this?

gullywompr December 3, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Dunno. I'd go look, but you know… servers…

smokefilledroommate December 3, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Just make sure not to forget to bring with you Mr. Obama’s application, registration, and financial aid application.

Sounds like Orly really wants to work in a registrar's office.

Callyson December 3, 2012 at 12:56 pm

The judge soundly rejected Taitz’s argument, decreeing that basic legal requirements were not met and ordered her to pay $4,000 in sanctions to compensate the college for time and resources spent dealing with the matter.

The judge went on to say "I would have demanded more money, but it's only fair to give you a discount for the considerable lulz your actions have given the college…"

One_who_wanders December 3, 2012 at 12:57 pm

"Persistent birther" I like that. It has a nice ring and is a nice short hand for delusional individual who in a kinder world would be institutionalized to prevent themselves from hurting themselves on hard things like reality.

emmelemm December 3, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Reality is known to have sharp edges.

Oblios_Cap December 3, 2012 at 12:57 pm

If Orly had any self-awareness, she would disappear from the public eye in shame. Just like Palin should.

BadKitty904 December 3, 2012 at 1:07 pm

"If"

sullivanst December 3, 2012 at 1:12 pm

She can't keep her head even when nobody around her is either losing theirs or blaming it on her, but she does trust herself when all men doubt her.

Goonemeritus December 3, 2012 at 12:57 pm

She might do better if she rebranded her website as a conservative buttseks friendly analog to the Wonkette. I feel she has taken her present avenue of performance art about as far as it can realistically go.

sullivanst December 3, 2012 at 1:09 pm

First she should run a virus scan over it.

eggsacklywright December 3, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I don't think she is familiar with the word realistically. Too many syllables.

sewollef December 3, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Five vowels is more than enough for one word, don't you think?

boskolives December 3, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Indubitably

Ground Zero Mostel December 3, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I haz confused. Doesn't it cost money to do what she does? Who pays her? And if this scam pays well, are there any open positions?

PubOption December 3, 2012 at 1:07 pm

She wouldn't be the first dentist to do unnecessary work for the money. She is probably the first to spend the money making a fool of herself in court.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 3, 2012 at 12:58 pm

How long has Orly been an attorney for Trump?

One_who_wanders December 3, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I see a horrible idea for a new reality show on Fox: The lawyer from California , the sheriff from Arizona, candy flossed haired money many from NYC – "The Unstoppables"

Geminisunmars December 3, 2012 at 1:08 pm

With a spinoff: "The Unwantables".

PubOption December 3, 2012 at 1:08 pm

She is good at bringing trumped-up charges.

prommie December 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

hey, pssst, don't tell anyone, but I has done some lawyering for Trump. Its dirty fucking business, man, I quit practicing after that.

Chet Kincaid_ December 3, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Oh, you can't just drop that one and walk away. Spill!!

PopeEdgardo December 3, 2012 at 1:45 pm

No shit. Such as, what does that thing on his head look like at close range?

prommie December 3, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Just can't man. Sanctity of the confessional and all that. I can say there is nothing spectacularly Dr. Evil-ish or anything, in fact, banal, the banality of his two-bit grubbing and welshing is what got me. Of course, you know who else was called banal . . .

boskolives December 3, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I share the pain, I shook his hand once on a tv show and I still can't get my hand to feel clean no matter how many times I scrub it with a wire brush and lye.

BaldarTFlagass December 3, 2012 at 1:00 pm

"he is not any different from all the other judges."

Or, uh, maybe it's you that's the problem.

Mumbletypeg December 3, 2012 at 1:00 pm

OK which horror flick did this photo come from… "The Fifteen Minutes that Ate My Brain"?

dr_giraud December 3, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Obama 2016

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 3, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Thats one of Orly's dental patients.

Chet Kincaid_ December 3, 2012 at 1:25 pm

The infamous Fluke Boy from "The X-Files."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Host_(The_X-File

FakaktaSouth December 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

OH MY GOSH that episode was set in was in New Jersey too. Of course it was.

Chet Kincaid_ December 3, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Were you a Fox/Dana 'Shipper, or were you into the Mythology episodes?

FakaktaSouth December 3, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I wanted Fox for my own self – and I liked all of the shows except the one where all of those people were multi-generational inbred and kept that one "kid-thing" under the bed. My fave was when the guy who could tell you how you were going to die was on and he said something to Fox about "auto-erotic asphyxiation" and Fox was all "Why why why, um, why would you say that to ME?" It was great.

drbill0620 December 3, 2012 at 6:10 pm

No flick – it's her high school graduation photo…

ManchuCandidate December 3, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Orly Taintz, jackass of all trades, masturbator of none.

If her skillz as a dentist and real estate agent are as gud as her lawya ones then it would explain a great deal (like why she's all three.) She's probably the one dentist who makes the cravity creeps look good.

SexySmurf December 3, 2012 at 1:03 pm

“You should know that evidence is not stuff printed from the internet.”

That quote is from the landmark case Wikipedia v. Every Paper I Wrote in High School.

spends2much December 3, 2012 at 1:04 pm

So "stuff printed off the Internet" isn't valid in a court of law… has anyone checked to see if Orly downloaded her diploma from the web and printed it up on a dot matrix printer?

Geminisunmars December 3, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Expertise not in evidence.

Poindexter718 December 3, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Holy feck!
If Dr. Taitz Esq.'s dental crafstmanship is of piece with her legal wordsmanship, her patients must all look like Shane MacGowan.

BaldarTFlagass December 3, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Or maybe a youthful Keith Richards (he did finally get them fixed, didn't he?)

Oblios_Cap December 3, 2012 at 1:19 pm

At least Shane MacGowan had some talent.

smokefilledroommate December 3, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I bet she has a picture of McCarthy on her nightstand that she didn't build.

mrblifil December 3, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I found that picture nearly impossible to masturbate to.

Rufus T. Firefly December 3, 2012 at 6:02 pm

"Nearly???"

prommie December 3, 2012 at 1:07 pm

You know, now that I think back, before they would admit me to the Bar, they did a character check and criminal background check, but no sanity test or sanity check at all.

But even this does not explain how Old Oily Taint got admitted, because there was still the bar exam itself, which was really hard and required some actual knowledge of the law and legal principles and the ability to make coherent arguments.

PubOption December 3, 2012 at 1:12 pm

So, to quote the Marx brothers "There ain't no sanity clause".

BaldarTFlagass December 3, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Maybe it was multiple-choice on those Scan-tron sheets, back before they realized how badly that was going to fuck things up.

sullivanst December 3, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Maybe Charles Lincoln III took the bar for her.

FakaktaSouth December 3, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Not to be a dick or anything, but the fact that there isn't a sanity test for lawyers ain't exactly blowing my mind. And mayhaps Ms. Taitz got her test done before Photo IDs or any kind of photos at all. Who knows who could have helped that shit happen. I'm choosing not to believe she is smarter than I am.

prommie December 3, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I got offered a good bit of money to take the SATs for someone, once.

boskolives December 3, 2012 at 3:04 pm

The main requirements a lawyer wannabe must have:
1. Pulse
2. Body temperature above ambient
3. Funding for law school

PopeEdgardo December 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Yeah. I guess some people are good at taking tests, and being batshit doesn't necessarily hamper the ability to learn certain things. If I had a few thousand bucks to throw around it would be fun to see how hard it is to get a JD online from Taft Law School.

BadKitty904 December 3, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Wait, which role did she play in "Judgment at Nuremberg"?

Mumbletypeg December 3, 2012 at 1:10 pm

*regards 1st photo*

I think I do like Orly better when she hasn't yet removed her nightcream chemical peel.

jolpaj December 3, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I am against that picture.

TootsStansbury December 3, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Those pictures. Is it botched up Jesus plus orly equals mummy blow up doll?

Estproph December 3, 2012 at 1:20 pm

All this, and a realtor too.

sullivanst December 3, 2012 at 1:21 pm

"Would you buy a used house from this woman?"

Estproph December 3, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I'm sure she only deals in bunkers and properties named "Eagle's Nest".

sullivanst December 3, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I, for one, am disturbed at how much choice that leaves her in my vicinity.

Chet Kincaid_ December 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Rhesus Monkey kept poaching all of her clients.

GlowneyHouse December 3, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I, for one, welcome the Afrika Bambaata Presidency. Maybe John Lydon can be his Press Secretary.

HobbesEvilTwin December 3, 2012 at 1:24 pm

I would like to see a word-salad-off between Orly and the Tundra Grifter. Also, too.

Stevola December 3, 2012 at 2:02 pm

No salad-tossing between those two, please

drbill0620 December 3, 2012 at 6:15 pm

By Tundra Grifter – do you mean "Todd, dinner's ready – we're havin' moose chili. Come 'n get it!!!"

WABishop December 3, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Forgive me if this has been asked and answered, but do the birthers ever question whether Ann Dunham was an American citizen? Because if she was, isn't this all moot?

sullivanst December 3, 2012 at 1:30 pm

No, the law in 1961 was that for a child born overseas to be an automatic ("natural born") citizen, both parents had to be US citizens. It's not moot, just desperate and wrong.

Negropolis December 4, 2012 at 1:35 am

So, the changes in the law didn't apply retroactively? So, these kids of one American parent and one foreign parent had to apply for citizenship to become Americans?

sullivanst December 4, 2012 at 9:37 am

For citizenship purposes, you're right, it was made retroactive. As to whether that includes natural-born status for Presidential eligibility, that's never been tested, and very likely never will be tested. I'd personally say the fact that Congress has basically said that anyone born 1952-1986 under the tests implemented in 1986 was retroactively a citizen at birth makes them a natural-born* citizen for the Presidential test, but the Supreme Court sometimes hands down decisions that to my untrained opinion are plainly in error.

Turns out it's soooooo nearly moot, if Ann had been just 116 days older when Barack was born, he'd have automatically been a citizen wherever the birth took place (the test from 1952 to 1986 required the US citizen parent to have lived in the US for at least 10 years, 5 of them after that parent's 14th birthday; Ann had lived her entire life to the time of Barack's birth within the US – the family didn't move to Hawaii until after statehood – but she was just short of her 19th birthday)

* there are only two types of citizen – naturalized, and natural-born. Birthers would vigorously dispute this but only because they're idiots, if I really cared I'd dig up the Supreme Court precedent that said more or less exactly what I did, I think it's in Wong Kim Ark

WABishop December 6, 2012 at 5:30 am

And this is why I love the Wonkette. Thanks.

PopeEdgardo December 3, 2012 at 1:25 pm

"Sadly he is not any different from all the other judges."

A sane person might draw a certain conclusion from the fact that all the judges won't entertain her nonsense.

goat_thrower December 3, 2012 at 1:25 pm

To be fair, she often confuses Nazi Germany in the 1930s with the long-term shelter at the YWCA.

eggsacklywright December 3, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Needs moar straight-jacket.

smellypossum December 3, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Birthers: making stuff up and insisting someone prove them wrong. Throw in some cognitive dissonance. Shake well. Serve.

Suggestion: How 'bout Ms.Taint proves the negative that she isn't the X-Files Fluke Man in drag.

(The fluke-man episode was almost as creepy and the inbreeding episode… yeesh.)

sullivanst December 3, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I found Eugene Victor Tooms to be the creepiest "Monster of the Week".

Chet Kincaid_ December 3, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Mulder…? Mulder?

BaldarTFlagass December 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Isn't Obama a Cigarette-Smoking Man?

boskolives December 3, 2012 at 1:37 pm

It's always about Orly, never about his brother Analy, like how you read about Jose and never his brother Hose-B. Why is this?

MiniMencken December 3, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Well, at least she doesn't feel like she is in Nazi Germany in the 1970s. Thems was some rough times, believe you me.

actor212 December 3, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Orly Taitz plays a rusty trombone, no doubt.

owhatever December 3, 2012 at 1:40 pm

A day without Oily Titz is a good day, no matter what else happens. Unless Bill O'Reilly's vagina gets infested by fire ants, in which case it would become a VERY good day.

not that Dewey December 3, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Which of these photos does she include on her business cards?

raygotaway December 3, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Orly Taitz, porn star or bad 60s home perm and bleach victim?

prommie December 3, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Its something beyond simple intellectual shortcomings, when someone has such obvious a lack of basic social skills. You don't have to know the law, you don't have to know much, to know not to insult and threaten the fucking judge, for example. I mean, my fucking dog, who probably has an IQ of what, 18, my dog, knows enough to kiss my ass, because I am the source of the kibble. My dog, in otherr words, has better social skills than Oily here. Now the suddenly shocking "R-Word" is truly the only appropriate term for people like this, fucktarded social fucking retards. Or, to use the interchangeable, technical terms, Objectivists, Rand-tards, or "Libertarians."

emmelemm December 3, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Dogs are much, much, much smarter than we give them credit for. They get US to do what they want. Nuff said.

RadioBitchFace December 3, 2012 at 1:56 pm

I'm trying to think what is worse: a bad dentist or a bad lawyer?…and she's both.

DahBoner December 3, 2012 at 1:56 pm

I feel like I am in Nazi Germany in the 1930s

Now ist da goot time to buy da veal estate???

TribecaMike December 3, 2012 at 1:57 pm

U.S.urp! U.S.urp! U.S.urp!

sullivanst December 3, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Sheesh, she can't even spell derp right.

toughsister December 3, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I'd give anything to see Orly Taitz and Sarah Palin in a lesbian porn scene.

stefanbc December 3, 2012 at 2:07 pm

As a Californian I weep at what could have been America's greatest Senator

Toomush_Infer December 3, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Taitz….Taitz….where's her birth certificate from?….somewhere like Assholistan?…

Steverino247 December 3, 2012 at 2:15 pm

The difference between Attorney Taitz and a rhesus monkey: When a rhesus monkey throws shit at you, it sticks.

BeefHardcake December 3, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I think she went to the Sarah Palin Word-Salad School of Diction and Grammar.

Antispandex December 3, 2012 at 2:23 pm

As everyone here knows, I very rarely engage in ad hominem attacks, but that is one ugly woman. Not that it makes her arguments any less appealing. They are ugly and stupid on their own.

JustPixelz December 3, 2012 at 2:31 pm

"I feel like I am in Nazi Germany in the 1930s."

Orly: If you really want to feel like a Russian Jew in Nazi Germany, we could put you in a gas chamber*. Because that's what the real Nazis did. Fuck you for comparing the United States of America with Hitler's Germany. From Wikipedia: "Taitz has also said that she lost relatives in the Holocaust….". You dishonor them.
____________________________
* obligatory "with votes" disambiguation

emmelemm December 3, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Boy, I maintain a studied ambivalence or agnosticism, if you will, about the existence of ghosts. (Never seen one, don't really think they exist but willing to be proven wrong.)

But that, that right there, provides pretty damning evidence that there are NO GHOSTS, because if there were, Orly's progenitors would be smacking the ever-loving shit out of her right now.

Barrelhse December 3, 2012 at 2:41 pm

The judge was not impressed, despite all the legal obiter dictum such as "At any rate".

BZ1 December 3, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Not a fashion critic here, but what is she wearing on her head?

Cognitive Dissident December 3, 2012 at 3:05 pm

"Orly Taitz"… hahahahaha.

just as there are theormodynamic formulae that explain how many kilos of rotten compost one needs to render bio-diesel fuel to power a dump truck… that could be used to haul such compost…

some day some wiseacre will nail down the exact analogous equation that describes X many words out of Orly Taitz's pie hole it takes to produce Y many comment responses on Wonkette's website.

Nostrildamus December 3, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Orly's not a dump truck you put things on. She's more of a series of tubes.

RoadScholar December 3, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Technically, "Frau" Doktor Taitz.

By the way, GREAT picture of her without the mask and wig.

docterry6973 December 3, 2012 at 3:31 pm

If she were actually in 1930's Nazi Germany she might find that her lawsuits would get a very different response from the government.

AlaskaGrrl December 3, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I think I'll take the bar exam. If this dipwad passed it, how hard could it be?

randcoolcatdaddy December 3, 2012 at 4:39 pm

"I feel like I am in Nazi Germany in the 1930s.”

I felt the same way when I woke up in the leather dungeon last weekend. It was all the jodhpurs and kinky boots I guess.

oenspiek December 3, 2012 at 5:51 pm

We've all heard the old saw: Orly to bed, and Orly to rise, puts one in Nazi Germany, in the 1930s.

LibrarianX December 3, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Did she get her law degree from an ad in the back of Rolling Stone?

glesslib December 3, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Is all the capitalization in the middle of sentences and poor grammar actually real? If so, I need to ask the next question. Was it typed, or did she submit her suit to the judge in crayon? Is this the best the right can come up with anymore? Sem- literates?

Negropolis December 4, 2012 at 1:03 am

What is the world does it take to get disbarred?

Negropolis December 4, 2012 at 1:24 am

Wait, I thought America was like Soviet Russia. Make up your fucking mind, Orly.

ttommyunger December 4, 2012 at 11:32 am

"I feel like I am in Nazi Germany in the 1930s.” In her dreams. She would not only fit right in, she would rise to the top, and she fucking well knows it.

lulzmonger December 4, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Anyone else notice how Mop-Headed Lady just suddenly switched over from birth certificate to college transcripts without so much as blinking? Safe to say if those transcripts get released, her next target will be medical records, or shopping receipts, or maybe tailor's measurements – FOR LIBERTY. She's crazy like a fox … with a severe brain injury.

Taitz 2016: HOTTER, WETTER, TIGHTER, HORNIER!

personalrob December 4, 2012 at 11:41 pm

I told Orly again and again: go after Obama's dental records, because in Kenya they don't keep dental records. So when she can't find them, it would prove he was Kenyan.

Chet Kincaid_ December 3, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Ha, that inbred episode, "Home", was the one X-Files that everyone who had never seen the show before tuned in and watched.

Tangled sin tax December 3, 2012 at 2:16 pm

That's weird, you're right. That's the only episode I ever watched and now I don't remember why I tuned into that one. Something, something, Hive Mind?

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