The first time we came across the work of cub reporter Matthew Boyle, he was calling for Minority Report precogs to watch over the DC Metro (Tube?) and possibly secretly installing Nannycams in Foggy Bottom Starbucks restrooms. But our rising star went on to make quite a name for himself, reporting the shit out of stories like “Michelle Obama Was Black At Harvard,” “Barack Obama Is A New Black Panther,” “WHAT, The DNC Is Registering Black People To Vote???” and the unexpected twist in his oeuvre (because it was not about black people) “Hey Look, This Jew Is A Communist.” And now our little Matthew is all growed up and leaving Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller (did he get fired, or hired away? There is simply no way to ever know) for the big leagues of Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s Boo-Riffic Night-Time Halloween Haunt.
It’s not that Ghost Andrew Breitbart was a slouch in the Obama Hugs Black Guy stories — they did, after all, produce the masterpiece “Obama Hugs Black Guy.” But they simply couldn’t meet the breadth and depth of the Daily Caller’s BLACK BLACK BLACK BLACKITY BLACK HE’S BLACK Y’ALL journalisms. And obviously, that had to change.
We wish Matthew Boyle all the luck in the world reporting his next masterpiece, “Sasha and Malia Obama: Knocked Up By Thugs?”
And if you a current or lapsed Klan member you may want to apply over at Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller before MediaBistro gets the listing and John Derbyshire beats you to it.