Consequences Will Never Be The Same

16 Year Old Wingnut Pwns Liberal Media Weenie Eric Boehlert On Twitter; 2012 Election Nullified

Game over, man! GAME OVER!OMG you guys! Wingnut blogger Robert Stacey “The Other McCain” McCain, who we’d never even heard of before we did our very first Wonket six months ago, has a very important article about how a plucky 16-year old girl TOTALLY DESTROYED liberal media figure Eric Boehlert in a Twitter argument about Benghazi. Eventually — get this — Boehlert blocked the girl’s tweets, which means that she WINS THE INTERNET and no liberal can ever make fun of FoxNews again! Strange, now that we think about it, that OTHER post we did about this McCain guy was also about something that sounded like junior high school gossip.

OK, so here’s the skinny, as documented in painfully exhaustive detail on the Wingnutosphere’s Newspaper of Record, First, Boehlert tweeted the completely treasonous opinion that Fox News has been pimping “Benghazigate” well beyond its actual significance, or in Twitchyspeak, “nothing more than part of a grand right-wing nutjob conspiracy” (which, of course, it kind of is, except that “conspiracy” is too grand a term; “strategy to open up a Senate seat by torpedoing Susan Rice” is probably better). In any case, here’s the inflamatory series of twats:

Gauntlet: THROWN! Apparently, Boehlert’s error was in responding exactly as dismissively to Ms. Bowra’s strawman as he would to idiocy written by someone of voting age. He should have checked her profile so that he could have… we don’t know what. Ignored it, maybe. It’s a no-win situation, really, since any disagreement is, of course, “picking on a kid.” So anyway, Bowra fired back:

A devastating reply! Take that, LIE-beral! Twitchy staff comment:

Hey Eric, #trytokeepup with the fact that your arguments are being demolished by a whip-smart young woman.

You see, we thought that an argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition, not just the just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes. But apparently, No it isn’t!

So, yes, there actually is an investigation. But that’s not the point. What is the point?

"Red herring" is a totally racist phrase, too We see. Because the discussion up to this point had totally been about MSNBC.

Another guy jumps in to pick on the poor lass, and Ms. Bowra’s comeback is clearly why wingnuts describe her as a “very bright young woman”:


It’s so TRUE! She really understands how we libruls all talk about Obama every day! Or at least how commenters on wingnut blogs think we libruls all talk about Obama every day, which is probably close enough.

Boehlert by this point has left the thread, which proves his cowardice. RS McCain writes up his exciting story about how Bowra totally pwned Boehlert, and tweets Bowra to congratulate her. She replies!

And now you know...the REST of the story!

The triumphant McCain declares victory:

Badass lefty “intellectual” Eric Boehlert blocks a 16-year-old girl?

It’s hard to imagine how his humiliation could be more complete.

Really. He actually typed that.

Unanswered questions: Is Eric Boehlert going to cry when he finds he has been uninvited from McCain’s birthday party? Will Eric Boehlert be excluded from the cool kids’ lunch table? And is Mr. McCain aware that, via the immutable law of “I’m rubber, you’re glue,” he is actually now the completely humiliated one?

In any case, America, meet Conservative America’s latest young hero, Bethany Bowra, who proved that, even at the tender age of sixteen, she is able to sling meaningless, fallacious invective and to parrot Fox News every bit as effectively as Yahoo News commenters thrice her age. As McCain notes, she followed up her demolition of Boehlert by “tak[ing] on Sandra Fluke and the baby-hating feminist Left:”

Yes, I said it: Today’s feminists, whether directly or indirectly, are actively advocating the murder of unborn baby girls.

Once again, credit where credit is due: That is every bit as sophisticated an anti-abortion argument as we’ve seen from people many years her senior.

[The Other McCain / Twitchy]

Check out Wonkette on Facebook and Twitter, and if you feel like picking on someone your own size (though he really intends to get to the gym soon), Doktor Zoom is on Twitter too.

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom
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Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


  1. Tundra Grifter

    I tried to log on and got a FORBIDDEN message!

    “Forbidden – Error 403.”

    Actually sounded kinda cool, like a secret Internets sex club or something…

  2. Tundra Grifter

    If blocking someone means you've lost, Erick Erickson over at Red State loses about twenty times a day.

    1. AlterNewt

      Perhaps a 7&7 would help you to forget the 403s and 404s. Can't imagine the hair-pulling behind the scenes stuff you've been having to do, but thanks.

    2. Tundra Grifter


      I would like to say "Thank you very much!" for keeping Wonkette alive and well! About this time you're probably thinking buying that gay porn site would have been a better investment.

      I know you've had server issues all week (and I'm not writing about a tough time getting a beer in a bar) and now this FORBIDDEN matter. I can only guess how breathtakingly frustrating it must be for you.

      Please know that your hard work is appreciated.

      If you were homeless and barefoot on the streets of New York, I would personally purchase a new pair of boots and some sox for you.

      PS: The homage to Peggy of Noonaton was brilliant!

        1. emmelemm

          You know, I wasn't even thinking of a "certain" Boo Boo in making that comment. I just call people "boo" when I like them.

          1. gullywompr

            That's odd, I say "boo" when I don't like somebody. I'm not up on my slang, is it like how kids today say something is "sick" when really it's not, or "bad ass" means something else entirely?

        1. LibertyLover

          Not true. I get booboos all the time: paper cuts on my fingers, sometimes when I stub my toes and at various other times. Sometimes requiring a bandaid and sometimes not.

          1. Biff

            I read the story of a guy slated for sacrifice in a volcano, and one of the ears of corn 'sploded. They still threw him in, so he didn't get much credit for his invention…

    3. Fare la Volpe

      Mama, get some sleep! We can't have you shutting down when there are politicos' dicks to retweet! Come over to House la Volpe and I'll smoke you down and we'll have a vinegar foot bath together.

    4. Negropolis

      You truly deserve some rest. Thanks for the relatively smooth transition on our end of things. This week must have been hell. Was it more hell than I gave you when you first got here, though? I'll forever feel guilty about being one of the people involved in that war. Talk about a failure to communicate. lol

    5. memzilla

      We few, we happy few, we band of snarkwits, truly appreciate your efforts. We strive to use our intelligence and humor to help you monetize this website.

      Together, we daily fight the forces of Faux and Boehner, of Koch and McConnell, of Limbaugh and Coulter, of Noonington and Cantor and Ryan.

      We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire. Neither the sudden shock of battle, nor the long-drawn trials of vigilance and exertion will wear us down. Give us the tools, and we will finish the job.

        1. Butch_Wagstaff

          No offense. House of Wagstaff has it's own bad kitty. We pretty much pay for her house. She learned the ancient masterful art of training her humans well and at such a tender age! It was a thing to behold. And she will not let us do anything until we give her the gravy-drenched canned food that she's currently going through at an impressive. She can be really sweet during the times when she's not trying to strip our limbs of flesh.

          1. bobbert

            It's been pissing down rain here, so naturally my attack cat took advantage of the downpour to catch a fucking sparrow. While I was watching.

            Luckily, I don't give much of a shit about sparrows.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      I'm pretty sure that is a cat doing a flying high kick into the side of a dog's head, and the dog (per normal) loving the attention.

    2. ButthurtWingers2012

      it's a work of fiction (because cats are wussies) essentially taking a picture of a dog running like an idiot and superimposing a cat kicking said dog in face. It's actually pretty clever but it would be funnier to have a cat kicking a baby in the noggin….just saying but cats beating up humans is always hilarious. Especially when it happens for real…

      1. bobbert

        I was gonna say something about bull terrier, but then I read your comment again, so I'll just shut up now.

    3. Negropolis

      It's this thing, like, when you put a midget on roller skates and then you, like, send him down Lombard…

          1. James Michael Curley

            Early one morning I drove down it, turned around and drove up it. Making a U-turn at the top in front of an oncoming trolley was the real challenge. Then I drove back down and got a ticket for doing 80 across the Golden Gate Bridge.

    1. ButthurtWingers2012

      Because her points were completely moronic and indicative of someone who actually does not understand the original tweet. Saying Faux Nuuz mentions "Benghazi 1200 times a day" does not equate to "should we investigate it?"…in fact that's a non-sequitor because Faux digging up shit for mouthbreathers is not asking for an official investigation. If she wanted to actually address the point she'd ask "should there be a criminal investigation?" but she's a dumb young Faux bimbo in training. Boehlert's reaction back "duh, congress is already investigating it" is pretty much all you can say. My only question is, how long before the inevitable arrest of this McCain for statutory rape? Dude was obviously trollin' for young wingnut vagina with his remarks…and he's stupid.

    2. MaxUdargo

      You know what's weird to me? Now they're talking about the "liberal bubble" we live in. This is obviously a response to all the talk recently about the conservative bubble THEY live in that led them to think Romney was going to win in a landslide.

      Has anybody noticed how they quickly adopt all of our criticisms of them, no matter how nonsensical those criticisms are when inverted? It's almost like the words mean nothing, they're just names you call people you don't like. That's why Bronco Bama is a fascist and a socialist and a communist and a Muslim and an atheist and yet still a fanatical follower of Jeremiah Wright.

      Maybe that's why you can't have an intelligent conversation with them. You are making arguments, they think you're just calling them names. So the only logic they require is "I'm rubber and you're glue – everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you!"

      God I hate them. With votes, of course.

    1. Callyson

      Hell to the yes…that's how I followed Nate Silver, whom I credit (along with Wonkettte) with preventing me from becoming completely bonkers during the election.

        1. Callyson

          LOL…it would be mean to keep all of the fucks to myself. But lunch at Phillippe's (wherever that is) sounds fun…

    2. Vecchiojohn

      Never twatted, never will. When I'm pissed off I just go downtown and stand on a corner and yell shit as loud as I can.

  3. poorgradstudent

    Ten years from now her genderqueer (or whatever the kids will call themselves then to feel like young radicals) partner whom she met in a Jean-Luc Godard grad seminar will gently make fun of her for all this.

  4. OzoneTom

    Bethany 2016!!!

    I mean If a blah can be president then a "very bright young” teenager should be okay.

    1. ButthurtWingers2012

      That's my take away on the entire (heh, heh) affair…I don't care which side you're on, arguing that a partisan media red meat fest constitutes an ACTUAL investigation is moronic. This McCain is either uneducated (likely) or completely missed "logical form" writing…dude just cheered on non-sequitors…I wonder if he claps when Ralf Wiggum says "my cat's breath smells like cat food!" to answer a quiz question too…

  5. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Dok, I love you, you know it, but you have to admit, compared to Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O', Everything on Fox News other than Shep Smith, K-Lo, J-Go, NRO, Red State, etc. etc., Ms. Bowra is an intellectual heavy weight.

  6. PuckStopsHere

    If your most eloquent spokesperson is a 16 yr old girl, does it say anything about the quality of the ideas you advocate?

    1. BadKitty904

      IKR? My first thought was "You Wingtards are SO consumed by the desire for revenge that *this* is the best you can do?"

    2. ButthurtWingers2012

      Considering their most influential idea came from an immature turd who developed his big 'no tax' idea at age 13? yes, I'd say this is pretty much the best they can do. Wingnuts are just excited to have someone under 50 advocate their idiocy and R.S. McCain is contemplating stautory rape…

  7. Tundra Grifter

    Just for the record – "Twitchy" is the dumbest name ever. For anything. Even a hop head.

    It's OK when Thomas J. Waller sang it ("Man – look at the way he's twitchin'") in the classic "The Joint is Jumpin'."

    Other than that – Nope.

  8. e_z

    Wow, that kid is razor sharp, hope she doesn't cut herself…and RS McCain, smart enough to get of his parents basement…someday.

  9. glamourdammerung

    McCain is the same clown that had a story up on his site about how I hurt his feelings by pointing out he is a "noted white supremacist" to one of our visiting trolls.

    Anyone else remember when terrible people did not also go on like 12 year old girls?

  10. smokefilledroommate

    "And our Very Special Guest today on Fox and Fiends is a sixteen year old whom we believe to be a true patriot. She won a Twitter War against lamestream liberal Eric Boehlert simply by standing up for her conservative beliefs. Fascist libunatic Boehlert later blocked the teen [gasp!] from contributing to the conversation. Bethany Bowra, everyone!"

        1. BadKitty904

          I meant SERIOUSLY seriously. As if something of value were actually at stake in said "war".

          (did that make it any better?) :0/

  11. SnarkOff

    So to summarize: "I know you are, but what am I?" "I'm rubber; you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you." "Is not." "Is too." "Nuh-uh." "Uh-huh."

    1. Secluded Compound

      Ha, you know, all of the Winger males in my family would pat me on the back when I would parrot their horeshit hen I was fourteen. I think it's how they reproduce their beliefs in the next generation, like some kind of backwards reinforcement scheme. Like fourteen year old boys, they don't like being told when they're wrong, so they act out in kind.

  12. John Birf Society

    I love it here in the liberal bubble. Where the abortions flow freely. Where hard work isn't necessary, one only needs to wait for the Tsunami of government largesse. Where the national religion is a melange of Scientology, Satanism, and Bokononism. Where hookers are unionized, subsidized, and for everyone, not just Charlie Sheen. Welcome, my brothers and sisters.

    1. SnarkOff

      Mmmm, mmm. Life is sweet. [Pops government-issued Champagne and settles down in front of government-issued wide-screen TV.]

    2. BlueStateLibel

      And on every day we all refer to President Obama as our "Lord and Savior" and "The One," meanwhile enjoying our annual $40,000 per year welfare benefits. Life is good in liberal land!

  13. Dr_pangloss

    What does it mean that nearly every rightwing christian douche has comments blocked on Youtube then?

    Oh Noes, Now he won't be able to go with Jenny to the Prom! She'll be just to embarased to be seen with such a loser.

  14. snowpointsecret

    What, blocking a 16-year-old means you lose? Man, what passes for sanity to some people is astounding.

  15. SorosBot

    So once this Bethany grows out of her parents' brainwashing and gets over her wingnuttitude this incident will look nice and embarrassing.

    1. HempDogbane

      When she gets to law school she'll speak out about contraception coverage, Rush Limbaugh will make fun of her on the radio, and Megan McCain will come to her defense, thus completing the circle.

    2. Butch_Wagstaff

      I, too, thought I knew everything when I was 16. I didn't know shit, of course. And that was before the rise of such abominations like Fox News (there was CNN, though…close enough, I guess).

  16. ttommyunger

    Twitter wars? Shit, even I won't sink that fucking low. The puppies bark and growl, but the train just keeps rolling down the tracks. Coming up on 10K tweets; like it, lump it or just fuck off.

  17. malsperanza

    Woa, that kid is scary smart. I mean, how did she crack our Sekrit Code? No one else has been able to figure out that "resembles a moderate Republican of the 1960s" is really code for "Omigod, he's the fucking Messiah! Everyone bow down before his Unfailing and Eternal Light!"?

    We're gonna have to get better encryption.

  18. Terry

    In McCain and Bowra's defense, they both are conservatives and haven't seen an actual victory in while. They may have forgotten what one looks like.

  19. Mojopo

    You know, I've fallen into the martini pool with my better half and this is all very funny. If you are drunk and 16, maybe on some inexpensive convenience store wine, you will enjoy this too.

    1. HempDogbane

      OT: Hey Grumpe, re: last June's suggestion that we get a beer sometime,
      check out Joy Face Full Blast Bliss Reading and Art Show on Facebook, 3732 Chicago Ave, tomorrow night and Sun. My photos are in there, and I'll be around. Sorry about short notice.

        1. HempDogbane

          Yes sir, I'll be there full-time both days. This will no doubt turn into the long-awaited Twin Cities Wonkette meet-up, and after Fulton and 2 Gingers get wind of it cases of complimentary booze will be delivered to the back door.

  20. ChuckieJesus

    Give it three or four years, especially if she ends up in higher education. She'll either much a rug or a mushroom, and then her third eye will be squeegeed and she'll take her rightful place by the side of that other CPAC kid who became a liberal, and together they'll rule Amercia like, uh… Sanford and Son. Or something.

  21. gullywompr

    Real classy, Dok, picking on a little girl, who probably still plays with little pony dolls….

    Oh…. right.

    (BTW, do NOT Google for "pony" and "girl").

    1. snowpointsecret

      Hahahahaha how insane can they get? I mean these are the same people that claimed that "While still alive, Kim also reportedly invented the hamburger, wrote 1,500 books in college and shot 11 holes-in-one the first time he played golf, according to Time magazine."

      I just… Wow. That's the easiest parody to make ever.

        1. snowpointsecret

          Dragons have lairs. Dragons are mythical creatures. Unicorns are also mythical creatures. Therefore, by the transitive property of bullshit, unicorns have lairs, right?

      1. snowpointsecret

        They do say he was born under a double rainbow which is already pretty much the best incarnation of an internet meme ever.

          1. snowpointsecret

            No it's perfectly right. Imagine Kim Jong Un going


        1. Doktor Zoom

          Some say it already has — for godssake, if I know about it, that's a distinct probability. Like any fandom, it'll have a heyday (now, or maybe six months ago) and then it will taper off to a core of fans who will run conventions until the heat death of the universe.

          As for dying out, see maybe fans of Dark Shadows. (I originally typed Trekkies, but they're the ur-fandom…not a fair comparison).

          1. not that Dewey

            This is a show that's actually on in my house sometimes, owing to a member of its target audience living here. Hearing it once a week from two rooms away through a closed door constitutes overexposure, for me.

            I cannot begin to imagine….

  22. lulzmonger

    So THAT's why the GOP is acting so sketched out!
    Keep calm, wingnuts … The Change you're going through is a natural part of life.

  23. Negropolis

    This is why Twitter is of the Devil and from the pit of hell. This is classic talking cross ways as opposed to actually talking to someone.

    BTW, Bowra is so getting an abortion in the next two years, SO many abortions.

  24. el_donaldo

    Robert Stacy McCain is one skeevy piece of shit. Shouldn't the real story be that some creepy-ass white supremacist is talking up teenage girls on Twitter?

  25. squirrel_time

    That kid was no 16 year old — she sounds exactly like the bitter ladies with little education who spout off on comment boards at TDB.

  26. Biel_ze_Bubba

    So a clueless 16-year-old, spouting non sequiturs and/or Faux News sound bites, is a wingnut heroine. Color me surprised.

  27. ManchuCandidate

    Hope for all her wingnutt pals that she doesn't go to an actual school which teaches real stuff and makes you think (not like Liberty You or Bible Kollage) and suddenly morph into a liebrul.

  28. not that Dewey

    Has Bethany taken down George Soros or the Tides Foundation yet? Pfft. Pretty mediocre whip-smart 16-year-old.

  29. Negropolis

    OT: And, the Mississippining of Michigan continues unabated…

    A bill that would allow concealed weapons in daycares and theaters is already through the Senate.

    Right now those places are among a list of pistol-free zones, but the new law would make it okay to have a weapon there, if you have the right training.

    "It'll be the citizens that have special enhanced training, and retired police officers, off-duty police officers that will be there to protect the children, or protect whatever location it is," Sen. Jones said.

    That's not the way Ingham County Sheriff Gene Wriggelsworth sees it though.

    "Think about this: You're at a University of Michigan football game on Saturday, you've got 119,000 screaming people, and half of them are drunk," Sheriff Wriggelsworth said. "Do you really want the guy sitting next to you to have a gun?"

    All we can do is hope that Governor Snyder doesn't sign this, and, unfortunately, despite his relatively moderate image, he's vetoed less than a handful of bills that have reached his desk for his crazy-ass caucus.

    1. Chow Yun Flat

      I think Snyder is what passes for being a moderate Republican regarding economics–for example he opposes making Michigan a right to work (for less) state–and really doesn't care much about social/cultural/mind-control issues. So he may just say "WTF, I got state troopers to protect me, I'll sign it.

      1. Negropolis

        He doesn't oppose Right-to-Work, he has simply said it would be "divisive" without ever taking a side even when asked directly. And as a former businessman, you sure as hell better believe that he'll sign anything that makes Michigan more "business-friendly" whatever the fuck that means. The crazy thing is that even the state Chamber of Commerce told them to knock the shit off with Right-to-Work-(for-Less) legislation.

        Trust me, if it gets to his desk, he'll sign it. I don't trust this man further than I can throw him. In many ways, he's worse than the Republican warriors in othere states because he doesn't own up to his own craziness.

  30. BleuBunny

    Why, OH WHY, did I pay for all that therapy? I am so self-flagellating for not anticipating this. If I had mentally and emotionally remained a 14-year old girl, I could SO be rolling in the fame and dough by now. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid (keeps banging head on fist).

  31. solrobins6

    If this is winning, I hate to see what losing looks like for them.

    And by hate I mean LOVE LOVE LOVE!

  32. Joshua Norton

    Oh, Bethany is such a romantic. You mean lefty-types are hurting her girlish feelings. Why won’t you stop oppressing her with your cold, hard facts and let the poetry that burns deep within her soul flow forth?

  33. Ground Zero Mostel

    "You see, we thought that an argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition, not just the just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes. But apparently, No it isn’t!"

    Olds say the cutest thingz.

  34. Mahousu

    I'm impressed with how lazy the Benghazi conspiracy theorists are, in that they don't even really bother to come up with a conspiracy theory.

    Compare them with the birthers, who went through all that effort of photoshop "analysis," (mis)translation of Kenyan videos, etc. The Benghazoids are far more efficient. Just keep saying "Benghazi" over and over again; it's good enough.

  35. Mahousu

    So if I train my preschooler, she can go armed, too? That'll teach the other kids to share the blocks.

    1. kittensdontlie

      This is how you handle a smart alecky 14-year old:

      The conservative website Daily Caller, meanwhile, quotes an anonymous conservative who attended CPAC in 2009 and is less than impressed with Krohn. The unnamed person claims Krohn never should've been in the spotlight, calling him "smug, condescending, and obviously completely ignorant of what he was saying."

    1. Misty Malarky

      16 years old and she's watching the same programs as her parents? Why, there's the problem right there.

      She should be watching vampire soft porn with all the other kiddies.

  36. Tundra Grifter

    Bethany: There is still hope for you. We saw in this election cycle a young man who became a16-year old conservative icon in 2008 by supporting Sen. John McCain come to his senses and speak out for Mr. Obama. Of course, getting invited to too many conservative private parties may have had some influence on that decision. And you've got nothing to worry about in that department, begin a girl and all.

    Stil – we won't give up on you! You may see the light.

  37. ffredpalakon

    "After Election Loss, Republicans Find Renewed Hope In Teen Girl's Twitter Fight"

    Yeah, I'm sure if there are headlines more pathetic than that, I don't want to read them.

  38. kakotechnia

    Republican dudes are just shocked by the idea that a middle aged man wouldn't want to talk to a teenage girl.

  39. fuflans

    Yes, I said it: Today’s feminists, whether directly or indirectly, are actively advocating the murder of unborn baby girls.

    if she's the alternative, well…

  40. TheCoolioYouKnow

    The Onion is really getting a lot better these days. If they keep it up 2013 will be the year I finally buy a gun.

  41. Vontzi

    I am sure we will hear all about her abortion views until she gets knocked up in 2-3 years and we suddenly don't see her posting anymore.

Comments are closed.