Consequences Will Never Be The Same

16 Year Old Wingnut Pwns Liberal Media Weenie Eric Boehlert On Twitter; 2012 Election Nullified

Game over, man! GAME OVER!OMG you guys! Wingnut blogger Robert Stacey “The Other McCain” McCain, who we’d never even heard of before we did our very first Wonket six months ago, has a very important article about how a plucky 16-year old girl TOTALLY DESTROYED liberal media figure Eric Boehlert in a Twitter argument about Benghazi. Eventually — get this — Boehlert blocked the girl’s tweets, which means that she WINS THE INTERNET and no liberal can ever make fun of FoxNews again! Strange, now that we think about it, that OTHER post we did about this McCain guy was also about something that sounded like junior high school gossip.

OK, so here’s the skinny, as documented in painfully exhaustive detail on the Wingnutosphere’s Newspaper of Record, twitchy.com. First, Boehlert tweeted the completely treasonous opinion that Fox News has been pimping “Benghazigate” well beyond its actual significance, or in Twitchyspeak, “nothing more than part of a grand right-wing nutjob conspiracy” (which, of course, it kind of is, except that “conspiracy” is too grand a term; “strategy to open up a Senate seat by torpedoing Susan Rice” is probably better). In any case, here’s the inflamatory series of twats:

Gauntlet: THROWN! Apparently, Boehlert’s error was in responding exactly as dismissively to Ms. Bowra’s strawman as he would to idiocy written by someone of voting age. He should have checked her profile so that he could have… we don’t know what. Ignored it, maybe. It’s a no-win situation, really, since any disagreement is, of course, “picking on a kid.” So anyway, Bowra fired back:

A devastating reply! Take that, LIE-beral! Twitchy staff comment:

Hey Eric, #trytokeepup with the fact that your arguments are being demolished by a whip-smart young woman.

You see, we thought that an argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition, not just the just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes. But apparently, No it isn’t!

So, yes, there actually is an investigation. But that’s not the point. What is the point?

"Red herring" is a totally racist phrase, too We see. Because the discussion up to this point had totally been about MSNBC.

Another guy jumps in to pick on the poor lass, and Ms. Bowra’s comeback is clearly why wingnuts describe her as a “very bright young woman”:

FINISH HIM!

It’s so TRUE! She really understands how we libruls all talk about Obama every day! Or at least how commenters on wingnut blogs think we libruls all talk about Obama every day, which is probably close enough.

Boehlert by this point has left the thread, which proves his cowardice. RS McCain writes up his exciting story about how Bowra totally pwned Boehlert, and tweets Bowra to congratulate her. She replies!

And now you know...the REST of the story!

The triumphant McCain declares victory:

Badass lefty “intellectual” Eric Boehlert blocks a 16-year-old girl?

It’s hard to imagine how his humiliation could be more complete.

Really. He actually typed that.

Unanswered questions: Is Eric Boehlert going to cry when he finds he has been uninvited from McCain’s birthday party? Will Eric Boehlert be excluded from the cool kids’ lunch table? And is Mr. McCain aware that, via the immutable law of “I’m rubber, you’re glue,” he is actually now the completely humiliated one?

In any case, America, meet Conservative America’s latest young hero, Bethany Bowra, who proved that, even at the tender age of sixteen, she is able to sling meaningless, fallacious invective and to parrot Fox News every bit as effectively as Yahoo News commenters thrice her age. As McCain notes, she followed up her demolition of Boehlert by “tak[ing] on Sandra Fluke and the baby-hating feminist Left:”

Yes, I said it: Today’s feminists, whether directly or indirectly, are actively advocating the murder of unborn baby girls.

Once again, credit where credit is due: That is every bit as sophisticated an anti-abortion argument as we’ve seen from people many years her senior.

[The Other McCain / Twitchy]

Check out Wonkette on Facebook and Twitter, and if you feel like picking on someone your own size (though he really intends to get to the gym soon), Doktor Zoom is on Twitter too.

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Tundra Grifter

    I tried to log on and got a FORBIDDEN message!

    “Forbidden – Error 403.”

    Actually sounded kinda cool, like a secret Internets sex club or something…

  • Tundra Grifter

    If blocking someone means you've lost, Erick Erickson over at Red State loses about twenty times a day.

  • commiegirl99

    uh first or something. You guys I am so tired.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Awww, commiegirl99. We are forever indebted to you for your tireless labor in feeding our pathetic snark addictions. Get some rest. We love you.

    • AlterNewt

      Perhaps a 7&7 would help you to forget the 403s and 404s. Can't imagine the hair-pulling behind the scenes stuff you've been having to do, but thanks.

    • Tundra Grifter

      commiegirl99:

      I would like to say "Thank you very much!" for keeping Wonkette alive and well! About this time you're probably thinking buying that gay porn site would have been a better investment.

      I know you've had server issues all week (and I'm not writing about a tough time getting a beer in a bar) and now this FORBIDDEN matter. I can only guess how breathtakingly frustrating it must be for you.

      Please know that your hard work is appreciated.

      If you were homeless and barefoot on the streets of New York, I would personally purchase a new pair of boots and some sox for you.

      PS: The homage to Peggy of Noonaton was brilliant!

      • commiegirl99

        I read that as “and some sex for you.” Which I thought was terribly sweet.

        • Tundra Grifter

          Dulce – but could we please skip the boots? At least on the first date?

    • http://www.toastcat.com Fred_Wertham_Jr

      Someday, you will look back on this and become enraged all over again.

    • BadKitty904

      Awww… *massages ur shoulders* :0)

      • Guppy

        Her shoulders don't go down that far.

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          Uh, those are her FRONT SHOULDERS. #totallylegitimaterubbing

    • emmelemm

      We love you, boo boo.

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        She's our Commie Boo Boo.

        • emmelemm

          You know, I wasn't even thinking of a "certain" Boo Boo in making that comment. I just call people "boo" when I like them.

          • gullywompr

            That's odd, I say "boo" when I don't like somebody. I'm not up on my slang, is it like how kids today say something is "sick" when really it's not, or "bad ass" means something else entirely?

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            I reserve "boo" for Halloween.

          • not that Dewey

            But the plural form is good, anytime.

          • gullywompr

            It's 5 o'clock somewhere…

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            Git in mah belly!

      • http://twitter.com/bookofruthless boobookitteh

        There is only one booboo.

        • LibertyLover

          Not true. I get booboos all the time: paper cuts on my fingers, sometimes when I stub my toes and at various other times. Sometimes requiring a bandaid and sometimes not.

    • Barbara_

      Time to kick back and relax with some medical weed.

      • commiegirl99

        Oh honey I am so far ahead of you, that something something hilarious!

        • Boojum

          Sleep well, O' Our Editrix. You have my imaginary back rub being wafted your way.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Aw, Girl. I'ma draw you a bath, arrange the finest Sargento cheeses on some Toll House crackers, and put on some Luther.

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        Don't forget the After Eight dinner mints!

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Only Frango Mint or Fannie May chocolates, and el Jimador, #1 selling tequila in Mexico, are good enough for my Special Lady.

      • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

        this made me laugh out loud two days in a row.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Relax. The whole world is ending in just another 21 days anyway, so what does any of this matter?

      • emmelemm

        Look at it this way. In a hundred years, who's gonna care?

      • Biff

        I'm making popcorn. Wait–popcorn is a Mayan tradition, right?

        • FeloniousMonk

          "It is believed that popcorn is a Mayan invention." Someone, somewhere on the interwebs, will have already posted your most inspired bit of sublime nonsense as gospel truth. "The river Alph ran through caverns measuring 10.65 kilometers."

          • Biff

            I read the story of a guy slated for sacrifice in a volcano, and one of the ears of corn 'sploded. They still threw him in, so he didn't get much credit for his invention…

      • gullywompr

        Nothing really matters. Anyone can see.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Mama, get some sleep! We can't have you shutting down when there are politicos' dicks to retweet! Come over to House la Volpe and I'll smoke you down and we'll have a vinegar foot bath together.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Did you throw something out of whack with that Noonan post? You can't just jump into that kind of thing without stretching!

    • Negropolis

      You truly deserve some rest. Thanks for the relatively smooth transition on our end of things. This week must have been hell. Was it more hell than I gave you when you first got here, though? I'll forever feel guilty about being one of the people involved in that war. Talk about a failure to communicate. lol

    • Callyson

      We owe you a happy hour…let us know when and where…

      • kittensdontlie

        More like happy ending, but whateves…

    • memzilla

      We few, we happy few, we band of snarkwits, truly appreciate your efforts. We strive to use our intelligence and humor to help you monetize this website.

      Together, we daily fight the forces of Faux and Boehner, of Koch and McConnell, of Limbaugh and Coulter, of Noonington and Cantor and Ryan.

      We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire. Neither the sudden shock of battle, nor the long-drawn trials of vigilance and exertion will wear us down. Give us the tools, and we will finish the job.

  • MissNancyPriss

    What the holy hell is that picture?

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      A cat just being a cat?

      • BadKitty904

        HEY!

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          The Shaolin monks call this attack the Pussy Whip.

          • BadKitty904

            LOL OK, that's pretty good… ;0)

        • Butch_Wagstaff

          No offense. House of Wagstaff has it's own bad kitty. We pretty much pay for her house. She learned the ancient masterful art of training her humans well and at such a tender age! It was a thing to behold. And she will not let us do anything until we give her the gravy-drenched canned food that she's currently going through at an impressive. She can be really sweet during the times when she's not trying to strip our limbs of flesh.

          • BadKitty904

            *BadKitty shares a fresh mouse with Butch*

          • Butch_Wagstaff

            Why thank you! *pretends to eat mouse*

          • bobbert

            It's been pissing down rain here, so naturally my attack cat took advantage of the downpour to catch a fucking sparrow. While I was watching.

            Luckily, I don't give much of a shit about sparrows.

          • BadKitty904

            But he did it for YOU. Now his feelings will be hurt if you don't eat it.

          • bobbert

            So far, he doesn't bring me trophies. I just hope the little birdie bones don't puncture any internals.

    • BerkeleyBear

      I'm pretty sure that is a cat doing a flying high kick into the side of a dog's head, and the dog (per normal) loving the attention.

    • Terry

      Pure awesomeness

    • ButthurtWingers2012

      it's a work of fiction (because cats are wussies) essentially taking a picture of a dog running like an idiot and superimposing a cat kicking said dog in face. It's actually pretty clever but it would be funnier to have a cat kicking a baby in the noggin….just saying but cats beating up humans is always hilarious. Especially when it happens for real…

      • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

        remember that psycho kitty video making the rounds a couple years back? cats beating up kids is all kinds of awesome.

    • Geminisunmars

      Well, I'm sure that is not a black or chocolate lab. Looks like a pure bred meth lab to me.

      • bobbert

        I was gonna say something about bull terrier, but then I read your comment again, so I'll just shut up now.

    • Negropolis

      It's this thing, like, when you put a midget on roller skates and then you, like, send him down Lombard…

      • bobbert

        Nah, you can't ever build up any speed on Lombard, on account of all the switchbacks.

        • Negropolis

          Exactly. lol

          I suspect only those that watch SNL will get the parody.

          • bobbert

            As it happens, I don't get the parody. I've just walked up and down Lombard.

          • James Michael Curley

            Early one morning I drove down it, turned around and drove up it. Making a U-turn at the top in front of an oncoming trolley was the real challenge. Then I drove back down and got a ticket for doing 80 across the Golden Gate Bridge.

  • Radiotherapy

    You should see her defend a 3-4% marginal tax hike on the rich. Chris Hayes: watch out!

    • NorthStarSpanx

      If Bristol and Willow weigh in, look out world!

  • mrpuma2u

    She wasn't blocked cuz she was spewing non-nonsensical troll speak, no, never….

    • ButthurtWingers2012

      Because her points were completely moronic and indicative of someone who actually does not understand the original tweet. Saying Faux Nuuz mentions "Benghazi 1200 times a day" does not equate to "should we investigate it?"…in fact that's a non-sequitor because Faux digging up shit for mouthbreathers is not asking for an official investigation. If she wanted to actually address the point she'd ask "should there be a criminal investigation?" but she's a dumb young Faux bimbo in training. Boehlert's reaction back "duh, congress is already investigating it" is pretty much all you can say. My only question is, how long before the inevitable arrest of this McCain for statutory rape? Dude was obviously trollin' for young wingnut vagina with his remarks…and he's stupid.

    • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

      You know what's weird to me? Now they're talking about the "liberal bubble" we live in. This is obviously a response to all the talk recently about the conservative bubble THEY live in that led them to think Romney was going to win in a landslide.

      Has anybody noticed how they quickly adopt all of our criticisms of them, no matter how nonsensical those criticisms are when inverted? It's almost like the words mean nothing, they're just names you call people you don't like. That's why Bronco Bama is a fascist and a socialist and a communist and a Muslim and an atheist and yet still a fanatical follower of Jeremiah Wright.

      Maybe that's why you can't have an intelligent conversation with them. You are making arguments, they think you're just calling them names. So the only logic they require is "I'm rubber and you're glue – everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you!"

      God I hate them. With votes, of course.

  • AlterNewt

    This Twitter, it matters?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Yes. When the rolling blackouts hit, it is the short wave radio by which we communicate with Wonk HQ.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Down like the Internets in Syria…

      • AlterNewt

        Copy that.

      • bobbert

        Wait. My electric toothbrush doesn't work anymore?

    • Callyson

      Hell to the yes…that's how I followed Nate Silver, whom I credit (along with Wonkettte) with preventing me from becoming completely bonkers during the election.

      • AlterNewt

        Okay, then.

        By the way, I recently used a variant of FFS without acknowledging you, so you may choose between breakfast at The Pantry, lunch at Phillippe's, or this lovely dinette set.
        http://www.maxfurniture.com/detail-Dining-Dining-

        • Callyson

          LOL…it would be mean to keep all of the fucks to myself. But lunch at Phillippe's (wherever that is) sounds fun…

    • Vecchiojohn

      Never twatted, never will. When I'm pissed off I just go downtown and stand on a corner and yell shit as loud as I can.

  • poorgradstudent

    Ten years from now her genderqueer (or whatever the kids will call themselves then to feel like young radicals) partner whom she met in a Jean-Luc Godard grad seminar will gently make fun of her for all this.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      She'll be at the head of the LGBTIAQRSTUV Pride Parade in June 2022.

  • OzoneTom

    Bethany 2016!!!

    I mean If a blah can be president then a "very bright young” teenager should be okay.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    …and then The Other McCain asked new conservative youth firebrand Bethany Bowra what color panties she was wearing and if her parents were home.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Now, do exactly as I say and I won't set off that device hidden in your garage…

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      "I brought her these condoms and this six-pack of wine-coolers to protect her."

    • ButthurtWingers2012

      That's my take away on the entire (heh, heh) affair…I don't care which side you're on, arguing that a partisan media red meat fest constitutes an ACTUAL investigation is moronic. This McCain is either uneducated (likely) or completely missed "logical form" writing…dude just cheered on non-sequitors…I wonder if he claps when Ralf Wiggum says "my cat's breath smells like cat food!" to answer a quiz question too…

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Dok, I love you, you know it, but you have to admit, compared to Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O', Everything on Fox News other than Shep Smith, K-Lo, J-Go, NRO, Red State, etc. etc., Ms. Bowra is an intellectual heavy weight.

  • SorosBot

    Hey the little squiggly aliens are gone and we can comment again!

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      So, you are saying the acid is finally wearing off?

    • bobbert

      What? Your av isn't a little squiggly alien?

      *Gets glasses*

      Nevermind.

  • PuckStopsHere

    If your most eloquent spokesperson is a 16 yr old girl, does it say anything about the quality of the ideas you advocate?

    • BadKitty904

      IKR? My first thought was "You Wingtards are SO consumed by the desire for revenge that *this* is the best you can do?"

    • ButthurtWingers2012

      Considering their most influential idea came from an immature turd who developed his big 'no tax' idea at age 13? yes, I'd say this is pretty much the best they can do. Wingnuts are just excited to have someone under 50 advocate their idiocy and R.S. McCain is contemplating stautory rape…

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I wonder how often FOX News reported on the death of any given four soldiers between 2002 and 2008 in Iraq or Afghanistan?

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      Umm…I'm thinking of a number…I'll let you guess what the number I'm thinking of is…

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Proceed, Bethany!

    • AlterNewt

      Beautiful.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Just for the record – "Twitchy" is the dumbest name ever. For anything. Even a hop head.

    It's OK when Thomas J. Waller sang it ("Man – look at the way he's twitchin'") in the classic "The Joint is Jumpin'."

    Other than that – Nope.

  • e_z

    Wow, that kid is razor sharp, hope she doesn't cut herself…and RS McCain, smart enough to get of his parents basement…someday.

  • glamourdammerung

    McCain is the same clown that had a story up on his site about how I hurt his feelings by pointing out he is a "noted white supremacist" to one of our visiting trolls.

    Anyone else remember when terrible people did not also go on like 12 year old girls?

  • BadKitty904

    This sounds like my sophomore year in high school. Why is this news?

    • gullywompr

      You went to high school? What a snob!

      • BadKitty904

        It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    "And our Very Special Guest today on Fox and Fiends is a sixteen year old whom we believe to be a true patriot. She won a Twitter War against lamestream liberal Eric Boehlert simply by standing up for her conservative beliefs. Fascist libunatic Boehlert later blocked the teen [gasp!] from contributing to the conversation. Bethany Bowra, everyone!"

    • Tundra Grifter

      Newsbusters' "Person of the Year!"

    • BadKitty904

      Anyone who uses the term "Twitter War" seriously deserves to be laughed out of the room…

      • commiegirl99

        Ahem.

        • BadKitty904

          I meant SERIOUSLY seriously. As if something of value were actually at stake in said "war".

          (did that make it any better?) :0/

  • SnarkOff

    So to summarize: "I know you are, but what am I?" "I'm rubber; you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you." "Is not." "Is too." "Nuh-uh." "Uh-huh."

    • emmelemm

      TIMES INFINITY!

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        TIMES INFINITY PLUS ONE!

    • BadKitty904

      Don't forget "I'ma TELL!"

  • BarackMyWorld
    • Secluded Compound

      Ha, you know, all of the Winger males in my family would pat me on the back when I would parrot their horeshit hen I was fourteen. I think it's how they reproduce their beliefs in the next generation, like some kind of backwards reinforcement scheme. Like fourteen year old boys, they don't like being told when they're wrong, so they act out in kind.

    • Guppy

      Actually, the kid may have something with the "Joe Biden turning people gay" bit.

      • Vecchiojohn

        Everyone's queer for Joe.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      I love how the kid in his second example, (the one with the book), is a libtard now.

  • OkieDokieDog

    I got blocked by anti-LGBT wingnut Peter LaBarbera. I WIN!

  • http://www.wonkette.com John Birf Society

    I love it here in the liberal bubble. Where the abortions flow freely. Where hard work isn't necessary, one only needs to wait for the Tsunami of government largesse. Where the national religion is a melange of Scientology, Satanism, and Bokononism. Where hookers are unionized, subsidized, and for everyone, not just Charlie Sheen. Welcome, my brothers and sisters.

    • SnarkOff

      Mmmm, mmm. Life is sweet. [Pops government-issued Champagne and settles down in front of government-issued wide-screen TV.]

    • fartknocker

      And we're independent business owners. I own several franchised Abortionplexes.

    • BadKitty904

      How long before your quote, JB, appears in some outraged editorial in the Neo-Con media? 5-4-3…

    • HempDogbane

      You forgot to mention free phones. Why do you hate America?

    • Stevola

      When do we get our gifts? Do we have to wait until the inauguration?

    • BlueStateLibel

      And on every day we all refer to President Obama as our "Lord and Savior" and "The One," meanwhile enjoying our annual $40,000 per year welfare benefits. Life is good in liberal land!

    • Vecchiojohn

      I love the taste of gummint cheese in the morning. It tastes like – victory!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Dr_pangloss

    What does it mean that nearly every rightwing christian douche has comments blocked on Youtube then?

    Oh Noes, Now he won't be able to go with Jenny to the Prom! She'll be just to embarased to be seen with such a loser.

  • snowpointsecret

    What, blocking a 16-year-old means you lose? Man, what passes for sanity to some people is astounding.

  • rmjagg

    ann coulter II

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    I would like to play inside a liberal bubble and worship Obama, plz. In my pants.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    I'ma gonna tweet this at McCain and set off another Twitter War! And maybe a blog war! #WAR!!!!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      You stay safe out there, you brave penguin.

  • gullywompr

    A real man would have argued with a 16 year old forever. Loser.

  • SorosBot

    So once this Bethany grows out of her parents' brainwashing and gets over her wingnuttitude this incident will look nice and embarrassing.

    • BadKitty904

      It'll be interesting when her kids, age 16, find this fracas buried on the Intertubes…

    • HempDogbane

      When she gets to law school she'll speak out about contraception coverage, Rush Limbaugh will make fun of her on the radio, and Megan McCain will come to her defense, thus completing the circle.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      I, too, thought I knew everything when I was 16. I didn't know shit, of course. And that was before the rise of such abominations like Fox News (there was CNN, though…close enough, I guess).

  • ttommyunger

    Twitter wars? Shit, even I won't sink that fucking low. The puppies bark and growl, but the train just keeps rolling down the tracks. Coming up on 10K tweets; like it, lump it or just fuck off.

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Like it, lump it or just fuck off.

      Words to live by! I think that may be my new motto. Thank you.

      • ttommyunger

        Alternate: “Fuck-Em If They Can't Take a Joke!”Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

      • BadKitty904

        A Sensible Policy for a Better America.

  • malsperanza

    Woa, that kid is scary smart. I mean, how did she crack our Sekrit Code? No one else has been able to figure out that "resembles a moderate Republican of the 1960s" is really code for "Omigod, he's the fucking Messiah! Everyone bow down before his Unfailing and Eternal Light!"?

    We're gonna have to get better encryption.

  • Terry

    In McCain and Bowra's defense, they both are conservatives and haven't seen an actual victory in while. They may have forgotten what one looks like.

    • BadKitty904

      Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Ooh, no, you DI'INT!

  • Mojopo

    You know, I've fallen into the martini pool with my better half and this is all very funny. If you are drunk and 16, maybe on some inexpensive convenience store wine, you will enjoy this too.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    These kids today are soooooo like, like you know what I mean?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      I know, right? Totes.

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        I'm all, Yeah!

        • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

          Ermahgerd! You are like so funny.

    • AlterNewt

      Duh.

    • HempDogbane

      OT: Hey Grumpe, re: last June's suggestion that we get a beer sometime,
      check out Joy Face Full Blast Bliss Reading and Art Show on Facebook, 3732 Chicago Ave, tomorrow night and Sun. My photos are in there, and I'll be around. Sorry about short notice.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        Will you be there the entire time?I think I can make Sunday.

        • HempDogbane

          Yes sir, I'll be there full-time both days. This will no doubt turn into the long-awaited Twin Cities Wonkette meet-up, and after Fulton and 2 Gingers get wind of it cases of complimentary booze will be delivered to the back door.

    • Negropolis

      I know, right? They are so, like, whatever.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    BadKitty's all man. Trust me.

  • BadKitty904

    Dude. *bows*

  • ChuckieJesus

    Give it three or four years, especially if she ends up in higher education. She'll either much a rug or a mushroom, and then her third eye will be squeegeed and she'll take her rightful place by the side of that other CPAC kid who became a liberal, and together they'll rule Amercia like, uh… Sanford and Son. Or something.

  • gullywompr

    Real classy, Dok, picking on a little girl, who probably still plays with little pony dolls….

    Oh…. right.

    (BTW, do NOT Google for "pony" and "girl").

    • BadKitty904

      I so don't EVEN wanna know…

      • gullywompr

        Why? Is it the wrong tack?

        Get it? Huh? Tack? Huh?

        • BadKitty904

          *feels Gully's forehead*

          Babe, you need to lie down for a spell, ok?

          • gullywompr

            Just feeling my oats.

            Huh? Oats? <rimshot>

          • BadKitty904

            Lord he'p us…

        • Vecchiojohn

          ………….. pony …………… tack………….TACK!

  • Negropolis

    I see that The Servering has been completed.

    BTW, the graphic is awesome. FINISH HIM!

  • BadKitty904
    • snowpointsecret

      Hahahahaha how insane can they get? I mean these are the same people that claimed that "While still alive, Kim also reportedly invented the hamburger, wrote 1,500 books in college and shot 11 holes-in-one the first time he played golf, according to Time magazine."

      I just… Wow. That's the easiest parody to make ever.

      • BadKitty904

        Hells, I didn't even know unicorns HAD "lairs"…

        • snowpointsecret

          Dragons have lairs. Dragons are mythical creatures. Unicorns are also mythical creatures. Therefore, by the transitive property of bullshit, unicorns have lairs, right?

          • BadKitty904

            That certainly makes more sense than Pyongyang's (srsly?) missle program…

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            Weren't their missiles called 'DongDongs' or something?

          • gullywompr

            Nodong, No shit – Nodong.

          • BadKitty904

            That's some global-class funny shit, right there.

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            That's what it was.. I couldn't remember. lol

          • not that Dewey

            Don't forget the "Type O Dong"

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      I'm still trying to pronounce Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam.

      • snowpointsecret

        Probably slightly harder than Papahanaumokuakea.

      • BadKitty904

        "It's pronounced 'e-GRE-gi-ous'."

      • not that Dewey

        Oh, come on. It's no worse than Eyjafjallajökull.

      • MosesInvests

        It's pronounced "Throat Warbler Mangrove".

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Why can't they believe something like Kim-Jong Il's "divine birth" consisted of being shit out of a unicorn on top of Mt. Kumsu? That would be the best propaganda evar.

      • BadKitty904

        Just wait…

      • snowpointsecret

        They do say he was born under a double rainbow which is already pretty much the best incarnation of an internet meme ever.

        • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

          God, I can't stop laughing at all this shit. I'm practically crying.. I know it's wrong but I can't help it!

          • snowpointsecret

            No it's perfectly right. Imagine Kim Jong Un going

            "DOUBLE RAINBOW OH MY GOD ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE SKY"

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            What does it MEAN?!!!!!! …..DAD???

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Unicorns? Those people who think they found Big Foot's DNA are gonna be SOOO jealous.

      • corthylio

        Why would we be jealous? Unicorns aren't real.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Fear not. The U.S. House Science Committee is going to conduct an investigation.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Well that's just ridiculous. Any fool knows that unicorns don't live in lairs. They live in libraries.

      • BadKitty904

        Awww…

      • not that Dewey

        Is it even possible for Bronyism to "jump the shark"?

        • Doktor Zoom

          Some say it already has — for godssake, if I know about it, that's a distinct probability. Like any fandom, it'll have a heyday (now, or maybe six months ago) and then it will taper off to a core of fans who will run conventions until the heat death of the universe.

          As for dying out, see maybe fans of Dark Shadows. (I originally typed Trekkies, but they're the ur-fandom…not a fair comparison).

          • not that Dewey

            This is a show that's actually on in my house sometimes, owing to a member of its target audience living here. Hearing it once a week from two rooms away through a closed door constitutes overexposure, for me.

            I cannot begin to imagine….

  • lulzmonger

    So THAT's why the GOP is acting so sketched out!
    Keep calm, wingnuts … The Change you're going through is a natural part of life.

  • Negropolis

    This is why Twitter is of the Devil and from the pit of hell. This is classic talking cross ways as opposed to actually talking to someone.

    BTW, Bowra is so getting an abortion in the next two years, SO many abortions.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      P-E-N-I-S goes into the T-W-I-T-T-E-R…

      • Negropolis

        …and Ruptures the R-E-A-L-I-T-Y.

  • cletar

    So, the demon that possessed Christine O'Donnell has found a new, younger host.

  • coolhandnuke

    Mel Reynolds is all atwitter to give this 16-year-old a proper tongue lashing.

    • BadKitty904

      Ew.

    • gullywompr

      Did he win the Lotto?

  • cousinitt

    Bethany is Overly Attached.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    While I'm appreciative of a detailed, specific example, that's a fuckload of words just to say "twitter sucks."

  • Radiotherapy

    You know who else glorified their insipid regurgitating youth?

    • gullywompr

      Cameron Crowe?

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        Regular crows?

        • gullywompr

          Now now, there's no caws for that…

    • snowpointsecret

      Every wingnut parent ever?

    • snowpointsecret

      The Catholic Church?

    • gullywompr

      Kate Gosselin?

    • Negropolis

      Lindsay "Look Mamma, No Hands!" Lohan?

    • ElPinche

      Rush Limpbaw? …oh …i thought you said "glory-holed inside regurgitating youth."

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      Karen Carpenter?

  • Callyson

    When I was sixteen, I was a brat too, but I didn't have grownups encouraging that behavior…

    /FFS

    • gullywompr

      Just surrendering to your nature, eh?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      Much less coordinating the attack, so that the opponent can be accused of attacking a teen-age girl.

  • el_donaldo

    Robert Stacy McCain is one skeevy piece of shit. Shouldn't the real story be that some creepy-ass white supremacist is talking up teenage girls on Twitter?

  • ElPinche

    In the Republic of Pinche, sixteen year old girls block you.

  • squirrel_time

    That kid was no 16 year old — she sounds exactly like the bitter ladies with little education who spout off on comment boards at TDB.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    So a clueless 16-year-old, spouting non sequiturs and/or Faux News sound bites, is a wingnut heroine. Color me surprised.

  • Barrelhse

    Bethany- You're beautiful, honey; don't ever change.

  • snowpointsecret

    This news was so last month.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Hope for all her wingnutt pals that she doesn't go to an actual school which teaches real stuff and makes you think (not like Liberty You or Bible Kollage) and suddenly morph into a liebrul.

  • not that Dewey

    This is good news for Robert Stacey McCain.

  • cletar

    Maybe Bethany and Li'l Bobby Jindal can go steady now.

  • not that Dewey

    Has Bethany taken down George Soros or the Tides Foundation yet? Pfft. Pretty mediocre whip-smart 16-year-old.

    • Radiotherapy

      XVI Ratz Jugend.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    She's peaking way too early for a Wingnut. At this rate she'll be a Breitbart blogger before her 20th.

  • SaintRond

    Little cunt.

  • Negropolis

    OT: And, the Mississippining of Michigan continues unabated…

    A bill that would allow concealed weapons in daycares and theaters is already through the Senate.

    Right now those places are among a list of pistol-free zones, but the new law would make it okay to have a weapon there, if you have the right training.

    "It'll be the citizens that have special enhanced training, and retired police officers, off-duty police officers that will be there to protect the children, or protect whatever location it is," Sen. Jones said.

    That's not the way Ingham County Sheriff Gene Wriggelsworth sees it though.

    "Think about this: You're at a University of Michigan football game on Saturday, you've got 119,000 screaming people, and half of them are drunk," Sheriff Wriggelsworth said. "Do you really want the guy sitting next to you to have a gun?"

    All we can do is hope that Governor Snyder doesn't sign this, and, unfortunately, despite his relatively moderate image, he's vetoed less than a handful of bills that have reached his desk for his crazy-ass caucus.

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

      I think Snyder is what passes for being a moderate Republican regarding economics–for example he opposes making Michigan a right to work (for less) state–and really doesn't care much about social/cultural/mind-control issues. So he may just say "WTF, I got state troopers to protect me, I'll sign it.

      • Negropolis

        He doesn't oppose Right-to-Work, he has simply said it would be "divisive" without ever taking a side even when asked directly. And as a former businessman, you sure as hell better believe that he'll sign anything that makes Michigan more "business-friendly" whatever the fuck that means. The crazy thing is that even the state Chamber of Commerce told them to knock the shit off with Right-to-Work-(for-Less) legislation.

        Trust me, if it gets to his desk, he'll sign it. I don't trust this man further than I can throw him. In many ways, he's worse than the Republican warriors in othere states because he doesn't own up to his own craziness.

  • BleuBunny

    Why, OH WHY, did I pay for all that therapy? I am so self-flagellating for not anticipating this. If I had mentally and emotionally remained a 14-year old girl, I could SO be rolling in the fame and dough by now. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid (keeps banging head on fist).

  • solrobins6

    If this is winning, I hate to see what losing looks like for them.

    And by hate I mean LOVE LOVE LOVE!

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Oh, Bethany is such a romantic. You mean lefty-types are hurting her girlish feelings. Why won’t you stop oppressing her with your cold, hard facts and let the poetry that burns deep within her soul flow forth?

  • http://www.marionstein.net Ground Zero Mostel

    "You see, we thought that an argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition, not just the just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes. But apparently, No it isn’t!"

    Olds say the cutest thingz.

  • Misty Malarky

    It's time for Chris Hansen to offer lemonade and cookies all around.

    • kittensdontlie

      Party! Who's bringing the condoms?

  • Mahousu

    I'm impressed with how lazy the Benghazi conspiracy theorists are, in that they don't even really bother to come up with a conspiracy theory.

    Compare them with the birthers, who went through all that effort of photoshop "analysis," (mis)translation of Kenyan videos, etc. The Benghazoids are far more efficient. Just keep saying "Benghazi" over and over again; it's good enough.

  • Mahousu

    So if I train my preschooler, she can go armed, too? That'll teach the other kids to share the blocks.

    • comptoneffect

      Guess they can refer to the new law as The Stand Your Playground Law.

      • DahBoner

        Hoo boy! Lots of Tots are hotheads…

  • not that Dewey

    Here's what happened to the last teenager who was the Great White Hope of the Republican party.

    • kittensdontlie

      This is how you handle a smart alecky 14-year old:

      The conservative website Daily Caller, meanwhile, quotes an anonymous conservative who attended CPAC in 2009 and is less than impressed with Krohn. The unnamed person claims Krohn never should've been in the spotlight, calling him "smug, condescending, and obviously completely ignorant of what he was saying."

  • LibertyLover

    Can't really attack a 16 year old who probably only watches what her parents watch…

    • Misty Malarky

      16 years old and she's watching the same programs as her parents? Why, there's the problem right there.

      She should be watching vampire soft porn with all the other kiddies.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Bethany: There is still hope for you. We saw in this election cycle a young man who became a16-year old conservative icon in 2008 by supporting Sen. John McCain come to his senses and speak out for Mr. Obama. Of course, getting invited to too many conservative private parties may have had some influence on that decision. And you've got nothing to worry about in that department, begin a girl and all.

    Stil – we won't give up on you! You may see the light.

  • An_Outhouse

    I only skimmed the post. Are there boobs somewhere in there?

  • Guppy

    Every conservative knows that the proper way to respond to a 16 year-old is to hit on them.

  • http://italkyoubored.wordpress.com/ ffredpalakon

    "After Election Loss, Republicans Find Renewed Hope In Teen Girl's Twitter Fight"

    Yeah, I'm sure if there are headlines more pathetic than that, I don't want to read them.

  • kakotechnia

    Republican dudes are just shocked by the idea that a middle aged man wouldn't want to talk to a teenage girl.

  • not that Dewey

    In other words, the Future of Rhetoric.

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Let us reflect on a shining example: Chuck Grassley's Twitter feed.

      • bobbert

        Assume chicken choked.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    Yes, I said it: Today’s feminists, whether directly or indirectly, are actively advocating the murder of unborn baby girls.

    if she's the alternative, well…

  • Negropolis

    FATALITY.

    Those were some wickedly violent video games. lol

  • BlueStateLibel

    OT: Ross Douthat wants YOU to start making babies! Because, think of the Walmarts – who will serve as their slave labor base in the future? Visit http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/02/opinion/sunday/… and be sure to visit the comments section where he gets his ass kicked.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Pray tell, how did Ms Bowra vote? Oh, right.

  • TheCoolioYouKnow

    The Onion is really getting a lot better these days. If they keep it up 2013 will be the year I finally buy a gun.

  • Vontzi

    I am sure we will hear all about her abortion views until she gets knocked up in 2-3 years and we suddenly don't see her posting anymore.

  • DahBoner

    whip-smart

    Yeah. Because whips are SMART….