Here is Dr. Keith Ablow, on Fox & Friends, blowing a Bill O’Reilly-like gasket at the state of the world today, as evidenced by — you may want to escort all children and pregnant women from the room — a mom buying a doll for her son. OH SHIT! GENDER-QUEERS! Now all boys are gonna be like Jenna’s boyfriend on 30 Rock, dressing up as Half-Cher!

Your editrix has a son — has she mentioned that lately on this, her mommyblog? Her son not only had a baby doll (Molly, whom he slept with every night and loved and was the best daddy to) but he also had a Sleeping Beauty barbie doll from Disneyland that your editrix bought for him on his annual birthday trip when he was four and he saw it and his eyeballs jumped right out of his skull in Barbie-yearning and she knew she was going to have to spend $36 on a goddamn fucking Barbie doll. (Your editrix literally pointed at candy and said “Look, candy!” and then handed the cashier the doll from behind her back.)

So despite all this gender-queering your editrix perpetrated on her dear sweet son, what does he do now? (Besides be surly, be lazy, lie on the couch all day, and be a fucking dick?) He bones his girlfriend, who is a girl.

It is almost like playing with dolls won’t turn a straight boy gay? Your editrix is terribly disappointed.


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