important programming announcements

Please Enjoy This Picture of Kitties

Fuck you, kitties, think you're so cuteYour Wonkette switched servers this weekend, a holiday weekend, so all kinks could be ironed out before business today. Oh wait, what’s that? Your Wonkette was supposed to switch servers this weekend, but then the programmer disappeared for two days because it was a religious holiday, and nobody could find him, but then the server-migrating guys were all, oh no problem, it will be done super early Monday morning, but then at 9 Eastern they were all “oh by super-early we mean by noon”? OK THAT IS GOOD TO KNOW.

What that means for you, of course, is that there will be no posting until we switch servers, because they will all just disappear anyway. What that ALSO means for you is that any comments you wrote since 10:40 a.m. on Friday or Saturday (we forget which, do not make us find that email right now) will disappear, and you will be sad. WE DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT. Just be sad on your own time! In the meantime, may we recommend buying a goddamn hat, for your bean? Or you could masturbate to this sexy picture of our son. What do we care? We do not care. He is of age. Or you could do some shopping through Amazon, that link over to the right. Just click in that box and then buy something. It’s cool. Don’t mind us, we will just be refreshing our email, in a rage.

[Sodahead]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Giveusabob

    Noon is super-early for me. What are you implying?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Noon is super late for some of us, but then again, it's still Sunday night for us.

      • Giveusabob

        You mean it's not Sunday any more?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Didn't see the sun go down?

          I'll have what he's having, please!

    • BadKitty904

      "Up with the older, fatter birds" as a chum of mine puts it…

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

        Wouldn't the older birds be *skinnier* anaconda those young'uns got up early and scarfed all the worms?

        Or do I have my homilies mixed up?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      Just opened my eyes, me own self.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Nice pussies. In the meanwhile please copy the following into your Facebook statuses forthwith:

    "The shit that I post here is my shit, yo. All intellectual content including photos, status updates, messages and/or "sexts" are the property of whoever has access to my user password. This copyrighted material is the property of the National Football League. Any rebroadcast or reproduction without the consent of the NFL is strictly prohibited. If any recreation, dramatic re-enactment, joke-stealing or plagiarism of this property results in an erection lasting more than 4 hours, the immediate attention of a medical professional is strongly advised. Exactly how a medical professional is expected to deal with an erection lasting more than 4 hours is unclear at present, though one suspects few major insurance plans are likely to cover the required ministrations, nor should it be safe to assume The Hippocratic Oath affords much protection. 4-hour plagiarism erections should also be generally considered to constitute grounds for immediate de-friending with extreme prejudice, though management's decisions in such matters will be handled on a case by case basis. After all this is not Hitler's Germany."

    You're welcome.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Insufficient buttt seks references, rewrite please.

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

        Sigh, by the time I recompose it, the server will have zotted it. What's the purpose of life anyway?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

          It's been at least 20 years since anyone used "zotted" in my presence. *sniff* (wipes solitary tear)

    • mustangsavvy

      "If any…..plagiarism of this property results in an erection lasting more than 4 hours, the immediate attention of a medical professional is strongly advised."

      I would bloody think so. Especially since I'm a girl. Ba dum bum! Thank you, that's my dumb joke of the day! I'll be back later with more =)

  • RedneckMuslin

    So what you're saying is, "Drinks are on the house"?

    • sewollef

      I'm jiggy wid that.

      I think I know what I just said, but I'm not 100% sure, OK. Don't sue if I said something bad.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        I'm jigger wid that.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Hey no–

          Oh. It's OK, it's a "j"…

        • eggsacklywright

          Cheers.

          • thatsitfortheother1

            Like I've taken the time to actually measure out a shot in the last 30 years…

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            I count "one Mississippi." That's about right.

            By spelling out "M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I"

          • thatsitfortheother1

            Using a glass is about all the civility I can muster.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Why waste the dishwater?

          • James Michael Curley

            No microbe on earth, or one of my cousins, can stand up to a shot of I.W. Harper Gold Label.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

            Crooked letter, crooked letter.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      But you'll have to climb up there and fetch them yourself, basically, yes.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Wait, Thanksgiving is a religious holiday? What religion?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Reformed Orthodox Eastern Exceptionalism.

    • BadKitty904

      Bourbonism.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Capitalism.

      • tessiee

        Win!

        • thatsitfortheother1

          Finally! And to think this will be imortalized forever…

      • WhatTheHeck

        I attended services by partaking in a new vacuum cleaner for the hell of it.

    • Vecchiojohn

      Black Friday, sacred to all real Americans.

      • JustPixelz

        True. And unlike Christmas' ostensible celebration of unselfishness gift-giving, Black Friday is full frontal greed.

      • tessiee

        Don't you mean Urban Friday?

    • eggsacklywright

      It's those darned Zoroastrians again.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      First Church of the Gooey Death and Discount House of Worship

    • Terry

      No, it was Friday and Saturday that were the holidays. Worshiping the Gods of Capitalism.

      That said, most of my Christmas shopping is done. Booooyah!

    • memzilla

      Pentecostal Gluttonist.

  • Radiotherapy

    Last!

  • ttommyunger

    I blame Obama!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Obama saw that photo and said "Ummm, a snack."

      • ttommyunger

        Will we all be smarter, funnier and snarkier with a new server? I certainly have my hopes up!

        • BadKitty904

          And cuter! Don't forget cuter!

          • ttommyunger

            That, in my case, would be impossible; have you not noticed my Avatar?

          • BadKitty904

            Pish-tush. "Cute" – exterior or interior – is in the eye o' the beholder. :0)

          • ttommyunger

            I'm sure it helps to be legally blind.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

          • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

            I thought beauty was in the eye of the beerholder, no?

          • eggsacklywright

            Aw, you have a certain je ne sais quoi-fu.

          • BadKitty904

            See?!

          • ttommyunger

            Quoi-fu you, too! ;)Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

          • HistoriCat

            Not possible!

        • freakishlywrong

          We will run faster and jump higher!

          • ttommyunger

            Being impossibly white (except for the inside) that would be a major miracle. Can't dribble, either.

          • Vecchiojohn

            When you get to me my age you'll dribble like hell.

          • ttommyunger

            I've taught mine to sniff.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

          • tessiee

            "We will run faster and jump higher!"

            That's Keds.

          • Geminisunmars

            You keds get off my lawn!

        • thatsitfortheother1

          Then I've got some work to steal, er, do.

          • ttommyunger

            Rule one: don't get caught. Rule two: don't talk if you do.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

          • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

            What happens in prison stays in prison. Parole too.

          • ttommyunger

            Lets hope so!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    I'm pretty sure Sharia Law prohibits cats in sinks, doesn't it?

    • sewollef

      Well, I can tell you they aren't kosher. Unless there's a rabbi butcher-type person handy in Wonkette Towers [I have no clue what they're called, alright].

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        Make that Halal please, eating pussy is an oldtime tref violation.
        /fixed

    • eggsacklywright

      Quatre cinq. Just duct-tape 'em to a stick to make a handy toilet bowl brush.

      I sometimes have terrible visions.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        The young ones are good for Venetian blinds as well.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Wait, so this comment is going to be deleted soon? Pussy retard t ri g!!!

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      Skull f u c k i n g with a rusty chainsaw, without votes! Yee-haw!

      • thatsitfortheother1

        ^^^^^ This is why we need the Patriot Act. ^^^^^

    • An_Outhouse

      RETARD,RETARD,RETARD,RETARD,RETARD, etc.

  • memzilla

    Your Wonkette switched servers this weekend, a holiday weekend, so all kinks could be ironed out before business today.

    Didn't work. I'm still here.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      It doesn't say they will remove anyone, only that they will make us straight. Good luck with that, also, new server.

      • BadKitty904

        Um. Say what???

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          The bold print says it all, but it does use the escape word "could" so maybe never mind.

          • BadKitty904

            My bf will *certainly* be relieved to hear that. ;0)

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      DAVE DAVIES LIBEL!

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        Lola says what?

        • bobbert

          Im'ma make you a man.

  • BadKitty904

    Fucking I.T. …

    • DixvilleCrotch

      …how does it work? Kinkily.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Sh1t goes in, kink comes out.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I was fucking IT all weekend, but only because I was alone.

      • BadKitty904

        *looks at Actor*

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          What?

    • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      SCCM of the Earth!

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    religious holiday

    Just wait'll you see what negligent schematics they got planned for ya come Super Bowl SUNDAY, Trix!

    (j/k… srsly hope the issues get resolved sooner than later)

  • teebob2000

    Fuck the hats — I want the Kitten with a Whip crewneck tee!!

    Well, I guess technically I want what INSIDE the Kitten with a Whip crewneck tee…

    • commiegirl99

      Oh yeah, she is lookin' GOOOOOOD, huh? So glamorous!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Technically I want what's INSIDE the inside of the Kitten with a Whip crewneck tee…

  • BadKitty904

    And kitties don't *think* they're cute. Kitties ARE cute.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Has Barb weighed in yet?

      • Barbara_

        Yeah, 132 with my clothes on. remember, I am tall and can get away with the extra curves without looking chunky.

        Wait, is that what you meant?

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Do you think you could defeat Paula Broadwell in battle?

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      The cute is in us, not the kitties. They are amorphous blobs of gray neumena.

    • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Where's kittensdontlie?

  • smellypossum

    I thought shaving your kitty was all the rage with the young ladies these days… No?

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      By order of congress all carpet must match the drapes in 2013, expect a baldness outbreak.

    • eggsacklywright

      Something something Burma Shave.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Did anyone else besides me *just* learn this weekend that All Cats have Asperger's Syndrome???

    • asterixaverni

      Nope , this was news to me.

    • eggsacklywright

      That video made me wonder if I have Asperger's.

    • not that Dewey

      Does that mean I need to stop beating them before I put them in the Skinner Box for the weekend?

    • http://www.marionstein.net Ground Zero Mostel

      Obviously that theory is being espoused by people who have no clue about the kitty-love. Our big boy has an enormous "emotional" vocabulary, is tuned into us, and is just as demonstrative as (gasp) a dog.

      • BerkeleyBear

        None of which would really be a contra-indicator for Asperger's (assuming it had anything to do with cats, which I personally don't buy). Both autistic and Asperger's sufferers can have deep emotional attachments to their close family members and particularly the folks on the Asperger's end of the spectrum develop coping mechanisms. In fact, one of the big reasons people have a hard time accepting a diagnosis is because, unlike a kid with autism, there isn't a glaring social deficit like a speech delay or complete standoffishness. It is much subtler, and as a result can actually be a lot harder to deal with in the long term.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Having a more than passing familiarity with the Autism Spectrum, I'd never put cats on it. Those fuckers know exactly what they want and can be intentionally cruel. They are generally sociopathic if anything. Asperger's folks are just fucking socially clueless – myself included. Hence the compulsion to speak seriously about joky videos.

      Now dogs, they are definitely all damaged. But in that "aren't they precious" television telethon way, not the "I have no fucking clue what is wrong with you but you creep me out" effect folks on the Spectrum have on others (again, including me).

  • asterixaverni

    Thank fuck it's not ponies.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Since this will all disappear anyways, I have something I've been meaning to get off my chest.

    I shot JR.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      The Bush years. Just like Pam's dream.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      A very slow bullet, should have used votes. Too soon?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      But you did not shoot the Bobby, oh no?

      • sewollef

        That's waaaay too English for this crowd.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Crikey! Don't be such a bloody wanker. Now hand me my trousers and push the button for the lift. I've got a lorry to catch.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Were you knocked up properly this morn, guv?

          • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

            There's more than one way? Sounds like a butt seks request.

        • eggsacklywright

          Hey, I had bangers and mash for brekkies.

  • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

    Oh yes, there's really no better way to start on the week than to jump up at the crack of noon. Or was that jump up and try to score some crack to start the week? Meh…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Honey, the fucking bathroom sink is clogged again!"

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Kittyblog?

  • LibrarianX

    Do not use kitties for server migration. They are easily distracted.

  • freakishlywrong

    Is our P safe? (Fapping to "our" son).

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      ♪"She works hard for the p-score / So you better treat it right!" ♫ — Donna Summer

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I thought it was "p-ness"? Which makes the song much more fun!

        • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

          "She works haaaard..
          …So
          ha-a-ard
          …p-ness…."

          By jove, you're right!

  • Hera Sent Me

    Somehow the fact this post will soon vanish gives it a certain piquancy. It's a metaphor, for how we are all but walking shadows, fated to strut and fret during our mere hour upon the stage, only to be heard no more.

    Man, I have got to get laid soon.

    • HistoriCat

      Orgy time?

    • GregComlish

      I got laid twice yesterday.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        I got laid off during the Bush II years, does that count? Before you rush to judge, I did get screwed, in a way, too.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Oh good. Now I can get in a bath and a nap and not miss anything.

    • tessiee

      "Bath"?
      Well, la-di fucking dah, Frenchy!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        I thought Frenchies were known for infrequent bathing.

  • sbj1964

    If these comments are going to be deleted than I will take this time to confess to the Kennedy assassination,The Roswell alien cover-up,and crying during an episode of Golden Girls.

  • kittensdontlie

    Your Wonkette was supposed to switch servers this weekend.

    Is this code for sexing or something??

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So, how will I know that the server has switched? Funky old style webpage? P-ness reset to 0? Kortney returns?

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Mmmmmm, Kortney.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Giant Macy's Balloon Campbell Brown will sit in judgement of your Cheetos

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Ken Layne recipes.

  • BadKitty904

    Miss Becca, your son looks like a very nice guy. :0)

    If he decides to play on our team, let me know. I've got a bud – Jamie – who'd be on him like a bee on honey. Jamie's a good egg, employed, smart, funny, no addictions, no jail record, and his family lives on the other side of the continent. Such a deal, no?

  • Barbara_

    I just spent a fortune at the Amazon.com link through Wonkette for Cyber Monday. Is there a link to porn? I need to wind down now.

    • JustPixelz

      I see your avatar is posing in bathroom sinks for Wonkette now. What's her story: "I was young and needed the money?"

      • Barbara_

        She was wasted on catnip.

        • HistoriCat

          And here I thought "Hellhole of Sin" was confined to the Sunday post!

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Now she qualifies for a gubmint job.

      • eggsacklywright

        The laser pointer made me do it.

    • Steverino247

      Think of Twinkies…

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Hm. Odd how that's the exact same dream I had this morning, only instead of kittehs, it was me and Editrix and the sink was a hot tub…

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Chicks love this kind of stuff! Add more details and you're in like Flynn!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        "And then three days later came the urinary tract infection…"

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          QUIT JUDGING!

          I thought it was just a leaky eye. It's not my fault it turned out to be conjunctivitis.

  • not that Dewey

    The kinks are tired of waiting for you to iron them out.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Hey, we're on a Low Budget here!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I read a biography of the Kinks a few months back and was somewhat surprised to find out that both Davies boys are notorious cheap bastards, i.e. leave their friends to pay the bar bill and such. Really?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          I hadn't heard that but it wouldn't surprise me. Rock musicians of that era can be notoriously stingy. McCartney has been rumoured to have once toured for almost a year and never paid his band members.

    • sewollef

      I've been waiting for this…. thank you. One of the best bands evah.

  • TootsStansbury

    My comment will disappear? What a shame; I'll make sure I point out later how witty and insightful it was.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I know how to get those lazy cats out of the sink!

    *reaches over and turns faucet on full blast*

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Clearly, you've never met my cat, who showers regularly.

      Which is more than I can say for most Wonketteers.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        My cat (Aldous Huxley) hogs the shower and is always first in. Unlike myself, the cold water doesn’t bother him. I have learned to dodge the droplets when he finally leaves and shakes the excess water off. Damn cat.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Mine walks through the shower, then nestles in between the shower curtain and liner to watch.

          I'd be concerned if he wasn't such a sweet cat, but I did see him hastily close down a web browser one morning that I think was at uglyuglybagsofmostlywater.com…

          • Monsieur_Grumpe

            I’m fairly certain my name in the cat language translates to Food Dispensing Unit #1.

          • Lot_49

            It's Paula Poundstone who imagines your cat saying, "How can you do that?"

            My cat sits out in the rain, fur glistening with raindrops.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Hey, no, they're good. No splash when one pees in the sink!!!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      So the mouth on your av is just sort of self preservation?

  • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    But… but… but…

    I had found ALL of the weekend comments remarkably easy to fap to! What now?

  • CivicHoliday

    I can haz existential crisis? This comment shall soon cease to exist…so thus do I go into the dark as well?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    When did this become a Kitty Pic Recipe Card Lit Major Mommy Hookup War Blog?!

    • Barbara_

      Just wait until we land on the new server. We shall have extreme couponing and hidden object games too.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Wait, hookup?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Dude, there is so much swappin' goin' on here, the new site background image will be '70s rec room paneling!

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Bowchicka-what, now?

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    In real news, Justin Beiber was booed during his performance at the Grey Cup ceremonies in Toronto yesterday.

    • asterixaverni

      When I heard that on NPR this morning, I started wondering if god does, afterall, exist. I got over that and went back to being a heathen. But, also, too, it made me love Canada even more than ever before.

      • proudgrampa

        Yeah, but in another article I read about the Grey Cup halftime, nobody seems to know who Gordon LIghtfoot is, who performed also.

        AREYOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME??? HOW COULD ANY SELF-RESPECTING CANADIAN NOT KNOW WHO GORDON LIGHTFOOT IS???

        Sorry. Just shocked, is all.

        • PubOption

          They probably know 'The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald', but don't know who wrote it.
          Earworm planted.

          • not that Dewey

            CAREFREE HIGHWAY LIBEL!

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            You better take care, if I find you've been creepin' round my back stairs

    • eggsacklywright

      That is encouraging.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      What's a Bieber?

      • eggsacklywright

        It's a machine that makes noise when trucks back up.

  • tessiee

    It's a picture of Barb and kittensdontlie.

    • kittensdontlie

      Whatever happens in a bathroom sink, stays in the sink.

      • Barbara_

        I don't know about you Kitten, but I saw the nail clippers to the left of the sink and I am running.

        • kittensdontlie

          The book on the loo is entitled STALKER, and has me just as worried.

  • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

    You know who else washes their pussy in a sink?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      ♪♫ A gin-soaked Dame in Memphis Midtown ♫♪ ??

    • Lot_49

      "Bidet" is the polite term. It is the cunnilinguist's friend.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        Always good to hear from cunning linguists, who are people too, my friend.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Courtney Love on tour?

    • eggsacklywright

      Linseed Graham?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      The Bangles?

  • Joey_Blau

    I am now very sad. please please listen to me.. about my sadness. very.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    I has already bought my hat, thanks. We are in our nine 11½ month rainy season and I must protect my pate. Does your IT department also handle the shipping?

    • commiegirl99

      No, all teh shipping and wrapping and posting and other such is done by ME! It is probably my favorite part of the day.

    • eggsacklywright

      Never leave your pate out in the rain.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        Someone left my pate out in the rain
        I don't think that I can take it
        'Cause it took so long to bake it
        And I'll never take that acid again, oh no

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Switching servers? Well, that's good news for Mitt Romney!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Rather than having conventional servers, I think Wonkette should go with a team of snark-serving Brazillian restaurant gauchos. Just turn your token to the green side when you want more snark. kkkkkk!
    http://www.thisweeknews.com/content/graphics/2012

    • glasspusher

      I thought gauchos were Argentinian? Who is the gaucho, amigo?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        They have gauchos in Brazil, too. Have you not been exposed to the meat orgy of the Brazillian Restaurant Experience?!
        http://www.fogodechao.com/menu/dining-experience/

        • glasspusher

          Now that you mention it, only indirectly. I worked with an Australian guy who had a Brazilian wife. He only did vegetarian lunches, to recover from the meat onslaught at home.

          I've been trying to get away from meat, myself. Puts me in a food coma too easily anymore. Sushi is another story entirely, though.

        • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

          Wow. I didn't know this place was a franchise. The missus and I took a visiting Wonkettier there for dinner when she was in town for a job interview last year. The food was pretty good, but I noticed there were no gauchas, only gauchos.

    • eggsacklywright

      Is the token a little green thing with a picture of a duck on it?
      EDIT: sorry for the obscurity. This will only make sense if you grew up in Seattle in the 60's and listened to KJR.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Really, really salty snark. (but so tasty)

  • Yellerdawg

    This is great! It's like posting into a void. Like running up the AMEX the day before 12/21 when the lights all go out. I can say anything, only I can't think because of this damned hangover. It takes two days of drinking to get ready for my in-laws to come over and two more to get past it. (Really helps if you can't really remember what goes on between the showing up and the leaving.)

  • TootsStansbury

    Y'all get the feeling we've been told to play with – I mean – amongst ourselves?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Oh boy! Circlejerks for all! Early Christmas!

  • proudgrampa

    Nice pussies.

    Rebecca, your son is a handsome young man. The tat thing is kinda weird, though.

    • commiegirl99

      He put his first (late) mom on his chest, and I think didn't want to hurt my feelings, so he put my name too.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    If y'all's comments are about to get vaporized or "disappeared" or whatnot that posted since 10:40 on Saturday ("Caturday") and you're thinking it'd be nice to retain access to any or all super special ones, go turn on yer intensedebate-email-notification setting and I'll run a quick marathon replying to everyone's between Fri-Sat. (there were maybe 3 stories posted, total?) — then you'll see your kewl Words To Live By forever entombed in your email … for-EVAH~

    • HistoriCat

      Wow – that's a lot of replying. Your dedication to the cause will earn you a commendation after the Wonkette revolution.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Bless your heart.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      So, a big "fuck you" to Omar Khayyam?

      “The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
      Moves on: nor all thy Hilarity nor Snark
      Shall lure it back to Delete or Edit half a Line,
      Nor all thy Tears wash out a forbidden t rig-Word of it.”

  • DixvilleCrotch

    I thought you outsourced most of the programming to IntenseDebate.

    BTW is it just me thinking this: if someone created a commenting system where the p-ness formula was actually obvious, they'd make gazillions? ("Fucking p-ness, how does it work?")

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    Thus spake actor.

  • Mojopo

    I would like to purchase a Wonkette app. Please can you make us an app? I will use good money – swear to God.

    • An_Outhouse

      How 'bout a newsletter?

      • Mojopo

        Why would I want more e-mail?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          There's an app for that!

          • Mojopo

            I don't want an e-mail app. I want a Wonkette app.

            EDIT – Swear to God, this is like walking into my neighborhood diner. "I'd like a Reuben." They're out of corned beef. "How about a tuna melt instead?" I do not care for melted tunas!

  • glasspusher

    If you delete my posts, do I not bleed?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Only if you get pricked.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Once a month, but they have an app for that.

  • An_Outhouse

    "this sexy picture of our son. "

    You're Amish?

  • glasspusher

    Glasspusher's law of IT: if you're smart enough to be good at IT, you are smart enough to be good at other things. If all you know is IT, you're an idiot.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Kitties are scary.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I don't get why it should be so hard to change a server. I mean, at El Chico last Saturday my server changed from Jaunita to Juan in little under 15 minutes.

    • PubOption

      Why are you dragging that up?

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      "changed from Jaunita to Juan" sounds like the story line for the Chas bio-pic, but doing so in under 15 minutes might qualify this as an event for the olympics.

      • HistoriCat

        If it was a change from Juan to Juanita I would have blamed it on an accident in the kitchen.

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          Or perhaps you could blame it on the surgery that is often called a Loppitofomee?

  • Steverino247

    Your IT guys are either counter-revolutionaries or suicide troops left behind when the rest of their unit evacuated during the War on Christmas (Hiroo Onoda libel, of course).

  • KotBR

    Be sad on your own time

    Copyright: Bain & Co. Employee Handbook

  • drewehartnyc

    Servers are so 2010. Has teh Wonkette not heard of the cloud? It's a pretty place…

    • kittensdontlie

      I've looked at clouds from both sides now
      From up and down, and still somehow
      It's cloud illusions I recall
      I really don't know clouds at all.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    OK, at 11:55 am sharp, everyone strip down to their Wonkette T-shirts and panties and head to the middle of Wonkette square for the countdown. I will bring a taser in case I need to rescue any ladies from actor212's unwanted attentions!

  • Oblios_Cap

    11:58 and all's well?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    2 minutes till noon, Eastern! Let's see it!!!!

  • Misty Malarky
    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Just in time for the Hal-a-daze.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Pretty sure this kind of thing is what the Mayans were talking about.

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    Yeah. VW van with black lights and bong or GTFO.

  • Misty Malarky

    MY GOD! IT'S FULL OF STARS!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Wait, what time zone are we talkin' about?

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      It's 12:04 Eastern. Did this comment survive?

    • commiegirl99

      Never Standard Time.

    • TootsStansbury

      Slacker IT people time.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Like teh Wonkette, the space-time continuum is warped.

  • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

    This comment will be deleted forever.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Or longer if need be, also.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Are we in heaven now? It's 12:20.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

    BeccaLou, man, you so need some of this JillyBean. (takes a deep drag, passes the spliff)

  • mustangsavvy

    Aww cute kitties are cute. And this is what I am like when facing a comment deleting crisis – lame.