Watch the Palin Turkey Massacre Again, Because ‘Tradition’

  never forget

Feeling a bit low this Thanksgiving? A bit like something is just…missing? Likely this is because Wonkette has neglected our sort-of-annual Thanksgiving tradition. As a parade is to Macy’s, Sarah Palin’s interview-cum-turkey-slaughter-horror-show is to Wonkette. And really, what news story is more Wonkette-ish than Sarah Palin yammering on obliviously as turkeys are ground to bits behind her by the most stereotypically gomer-ish guy Alaska could produce?

Your Wonkette began this noble tradition in 2008, with Jim Newell’s brief but paradigm-shifting post, in which Jim coined the all too necessary phrase “Sarah Palin/Turkey Grinder Bloodporn.” Mindful of our duty to bring you hard-hitting news you can use, we quickly updated Jim’s story with additional reporting that the cameraman for the Palin Bloodfest had won many awards! Ken Layne weighed in in 2010 to remind us to never forget the terror and joy of turkey slaughter day.

Who are we kidding? We just really wanted an excuse to post this youtube video again, complete with smug MSNBC anchordude faux-warning you to not watch it when of course you’re going to watch it.

Merry Thanksgiving, America.

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142 comments

          1. boskolives

            She wasn't winking, her eye, like most of the rest of the world, was just trying to get away from her and her eyelid was trying to stop it from jumping out of the socket.

  1. Dashboard Buddha

    This never gets old. And what makes it even better, for all of her homespun lunacy, she and walnuts still lost. Game Changer my left nut.

    1. actor212

      We had no fewer than three stations just play it around NYC, NV. For shits and giggles I put all three on in its own room. Now I have a headache.

      1. AlterNewt

        That song. I'm thankful that it's been many, many years since my friends grew as tired of hearing it as I grew tired of playing and singing it.

          1. AlterNewt

            "before yer Travis pickin' thumb starts a dozin'."

            …or starts gettin' frozen. As in finger picking at outdoor gigs when it's really, really cold.

            Good piano on that link, BTW.

          2. glasspusher

            Smokin', burnin' riffs, weej. Nice link. When can we start the Wonkette band? I could be backup backup guitar!

      1. Mahousu

        The problem is, when you start with the porn, everyone just ignores whatever follows.

        Something I learned at a previous Thanksgiving.

  2. StarsUponThars

    Ah yes, the day Palin's political potential flushed down the drain like so many slaughterhouse giblets. Good times.

  3. Doktor Zoom

    OT, kinda-sorta: the Dianne Rehm Show today had a rerun of an interview with Julia Child biographer Bob Spitz, who added a little something to my appreciation of that awesome woman. Not only was she not offended by Dan Aykroyd's SNL sketch (you know the one, I don't even need to link it), she would frequently show a tape of it to guests, and even would do her own version of it: Julia Child imitating Dan Aykroyd imitating Julia Child. And she'd collapse, giggling, when she got to the final "Save the livers!"

    Another fun detail: The sketch was written by now-Senator Al Franken, who was onstage during the taping, crouched under the kitchen set and operating the pump that squirted "blood" out of Aykroyd's sleeve.

      1. NorthStarSpanx

        Also too, she exhibits grace under fire, thick skin, still spine, all the attributes Sarah and her followers claim she has.

  4. Goonemeritus

    On this National day of thanksgiving what could be more appropriate than to be reminded that Palin's political future is as dead as those turkeys. Praise be to what ever rock or shrub you hippies worship, my best to you all.

          1. Isyaignert

            Ha! I was in DC in 2006 and went to the National Archives. I couldn't find the Constitution, so I asked a guard where it was. She said it was out for repairs. I said, "Of course, it needed repairs after Bush shredded it."

          2. GeneralLerong

            Damn, I wish I was so quick with the snappy retorts.

            Did the guard give you a high five, an uncomprehending stare, or a "Fuckling Smartass Libtard" look of loathing?

  5. Loch_Nessosaur

    As Ben Franklin said "a turkey is a much more respectable bird, and a true original Native of America, than a Sarah Palin."

  6. GeneralLerong

    Heh.

    Zombie Reagan/Zombie Palin 2016 – new political party for bitter old white teabaggers, with headless white turkey as mascot.

  7. Callyson

    How have I missed this tradition before this year?

    And sweet Jesus, I am thankful that she is not a heartbeat away from the White House…

    1. LetUsBray

      A heartbeat, pffft. If her ticket had won in '08, Gramps would have "accidentally" fallen down a flight of stairs withing weeks of the inauguration.

  8. ThundercatHo

    This beloved blood-porn is a wonderful tradition. Much better than spending a beautiful day cooking and cleaning (2 activities I loathe). Now, I can spend the family dinner imagining certain people's heads being shoved into a grinder, with votes, of course. Best wishes to all of you. May your day be filled with good food, people you love and a nice nap.

  9. Beowoof

    I just got back from riding my motorcycle in Western NY on Thanksgiving and was thanking global warming for that; and there is once again a new Thanksgiving feel good tradition, Sarah Palin looking like an asshole.

    1. Negropolis

      It was 60 degrees on the southern shores of Lake Michigan, yesterday. Usually, people dread the annual turkey plunges and runs and whatnot. People were savoring it, yesterday.

  10. BlueStateLibel

    I'm just reminded again of the supreme irony of John McCain complaining about Susan Rice being unqualified, it's like the town drunk accusing you of having a drinking problem.

  11. ttommyunger

    No snark: I am thankful for Lou Sarah. I am thankful for John McCain's clogged arteries and grey matter that allowed him to choose her over other more serious candidates. I'm thankful for the Tea Party and the gains in Congress and the White House wins that would not be possible without their fantastic overreach and ignorant, short-sighted policy positions. I'm thankful for the Religious Wrong for their continuing muddying of the political waters and the special way they have of making drooling idiots out of would-be serious political contenders. Yes, I'm thankful for all the Fucktards who have worked so hard to gain control of the levers of Government only to see their efforts go down in Electoral flames. Happy Thanksgiving and fuck you all very much!

      1. ttommyunger

        Thanks. K's were before my time, but I've eaten a shit-load of C's; they are responsible for the sleeping bag acquiring the name “fart-sack”.

        1. boskolives

          Sorry about that, I forgot about C-rats and conflated my dad's talks about his WWII food experiences in the South Pacific. I was in the Air Farce and most of my meals were either in the commissary or (time allowing) the snack bar at the bowling alley. Miss those toaster oven pastrami sammiches, umm, umm, be still what's left of my heart.

          1. boskolives

            You were an AF brat? May god (if you believe that there is one) have mercy on your soul (if you believe that you have one). We're +/- about the same age so your dad must have flown in or worked on planes that had those watchamacallits on the front, oh yeah, propellers,
            Me, I was just another Phantom Phucker (Phixer), keeping those baby burners flying. F4's still rock my world when I see one at an air show!

          2. ttommyunger

            He was in Burma in WWll. Flew the hump. Chaplain. Ret as Full Bird, passed in 97 at 84.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

    1. Lot_49

      I'm thankful for ttommyunger, and this reminder that, whatever his faults, Obama was and will be a better president than either of his opponents could have ever have been.

      Shoulda spent more time in Phnom Penh, though.

        1. Lot_49

          As I remember it from aerial photographs as we were bombing the living shit out of the countryside around it, Phnom Penh looked low-rise, quiet, rural, maybe even a bit primitive. They've been through hell in that country, to be sure. Maybe even a scolding visit from Hopey will help them emerge from the shadows. Then we can see more pix.

          1. ttommyunger

            Such a shame. Uncle Ho and his men were our faithful ally against the Japanese in WWll, but Truman had to give their Country back to the fucking French, because -white.

    2. AlterNewt

      Same to you, ttommy, and thanks also for the millions and millions of dollars they wasted trying to elect these cretins.

  12. sbj1964

    Yes let's celebrate the wiping out of a native people by religious ass-wipes with plague infected blankets.Good times,Good times?

  13. gullywompr

    I feel like Alex in A Clockwork Orange undergoing Ludivico Treatment. Viddy well, little droogs. Viddy well.

  14. Mumbletypeg

    I'm thankful this heretical, filthy minded band of snark artists abides and manages to spin gold from the low grade straw present-day conservadouches, rightwingers and blowhards fetter out compared to pre-Palin Dubya-derp years; stuff the sorriest turkey in the hatchery wouldn't blink at y'all continue to work wonders with, the whole brazen godless lot of you.

      1. ElPinche

        Too bad Planned Parenthood is closed today….oh well, i'll have to do my own fetal experiments…just like the pilgrims!

  15. Fox n Fiends

    "Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday…The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant consumption is the result and reward of production." – Ayn Rand

    1. BlueStateLibel

      But that socialist anti-Christ FDR of all people made it into the two-day affair, with the second day involving shopping, in order to make the little capitalist shopkeepers all happy … who would have thought.

    1. shelwood46

      Yet he was taking the day off when this aired, leaving it to frequent sub David Shuster to be immortalized.

  16. LibertyLover

    Prefer watching "It's a Wonderful Life" right after the the Macy's parade where Donald Trump played the Turkey this year and PBO played Santa Claus givin' out the "free stuff."

    FSM Bless Us Every One!

  17. Steverino247

    Let the government get out of the way of businesses who openly tell their employees not to complain about conditions because unemployment is 28%.

    Mindless cunt.

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