never forget

Watch the Palin Turkey Massacre Again, Because ‘Tradition’

Feeling a bit low this Thanksgiving? A bit like something is just…missing? Likely this is because Wonkette has neglected our sort-of-annual Thanksgiving tradition. As a parade is to Macy’s, Sarah Palin’s interview-cum-turkey-slaughter-horror-show is to Wonkette. And really, what news story is more Wonkette-ish than Sarah Palin yammering on obliviously as turkeys are ground to bits behind her by the most stereotypically gomer-ish guy Alaska could produce?

Your Wonkette began this noble tradition in 2008, with Jim Newell’s brief but paradigm-shifting post, in which Jim coined the all too necessary phrase “Sarah Palin/Turkey Grinder Bloodporn.” Mindful of our duty to bring you hard-hitting news you can use, we quickly updated Jim’s story with additional reporting that the cameraman for the Palin Bloodfest had won many awards! Ken Layne weighed in in 2010 to remind us to never forget the terror and joy of turkey slaughter day.

Who are we kidding? We just really wanted an excuse to post this youtube video again, complete with smug MSNBC anchordude faux-warning you to not watch it when of course you’re going to watch it.

Merry Thanksgiving, America.

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Comments

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  • nounverb911

    The dead turkey would be a better candidate in 2016 than Palin would.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      And probably would have won more primaries.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        And read more books.

        • not that Dewey

          And winked less.

          • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

            Needz moar bumpit.

          • sullivanst

            Well, kudos to it for managing to wink at all after they cut its head off.

          • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

            She wasn't winking, her eye, like most of the rest of the world, was just trying to get away from her and her eyelid was trying to stop it from jumping out of the socket.

      • valgal2342

        More mavericky

    • sbj1964

      Why is this ridiculous woman still relevant? 15 min were up 4 years ago.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      "assumed dead"

    • Biff

      Even after passing through my wholesome Amercian guts.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    This never gets old. And what makes it even better, for all of her homespun lunacy, she and walnuts still lost. Game Changer my left nut.

    • sbj1964

      You would still do it though right?

  • http://www.eloquentscience.com EloquentScience

    The turkey died and went to a better place, away from Sarah Palin.

    • sbj1964

      I think now I'll just have the ham.

  • smashedinhat

    Never. Gets. Old.

  • nounverb911

    Can we watch "Alice's Restaurant" instead, please?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      We had no fewer than three stations just play it around NYC, NV. For shits and giggles I put all three on in its own room. Now I have a headache.

      • AlterNewt

        That song. I'm thankful that it's been many, many years since my friends grew as tired of hearing it as I grew tired of playing and singing it.

        • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

          And keep pretty much the same pickin' right on to Keep on Truckin'

          • AlterNewt

            It was fun to play, the first 1000 times, but there is a burnout factor, as I assume you know.

          • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

            Yes, there is a limit to how many #7s and sus 2s & 4s ya can toss in to up the attention span before yer Travis pickin' thumb starts a dozin'. Especially with a song that can go on forever. Much as I loved it back in the day, if now I'm feeling a need for that progression I go with Blind Boy Fuller's Truckin' Ma Bluez Away.

          • AlterNewt

            "before yer Travis pickin' thumb starts a dozin'."

            …or starts gettin' frozen. As in finger picking at outdoor gigs when it's really, really cold.

            Good piano on that link, BTW.

          • glasspusher

            Smokin', burnin' riffs, weej. Nice link. When can we start the Wonkette band? I could be backup backup guitar!

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Dibs on first triangle and lead vocals!

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            I can be groupie?

  • taylormattd

    Fuck I forgot how much I hate hearing that woman speak.

    • Blendergoathead

      That's not "speech," it authentic frontier gibberish. And yes, it's awful.

  • crisptickle

    I wish they'd pixelate her face, too, or even better her voice.

    • Geminisunmars

      I thought her voice was already pixelated.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        Autotune would be her friend. Her only friend.

  • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

    Sarah Palin/Turkey Grinder Bloodporn?
    Hey, you had me at the "porn" part.

    • corthylio

      I notice that you weren't 'had' until that last word…

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        I'm not an easy "had", the other stuff just didn't move me.

      • Mahousu

        The problem is, when you start with the porn, everyone just ignores whatever follows.

        Something I learned at a previous Thanksgiving.

  • StarsUponThars

    Ah yes, the day Palin's political potential flushed down the drain like so many slaughterhouse giblets. Good times.

    • sbj1964

      I heard she is inviting Paul Ryan for dinner.Gee,two Turkeys.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Watching Sarah on Turkey day has to be a new Thanksgiving low.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    The bled out headless turkey carcass still has more intelligence than Sarah.

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    "No worries. People will be watching me and only me. Like, duh!"

  • Doktor Zoom

    OT, kinda-sorta: the Dianne Rehm Show today had a rerun of an interview with Julia Child biographer Bob Spitz, who added a little something to my appreciation of that awesome woman. Not only was she not offended by Dan Aykroyd's SNL sketch (you know the one, I don't even need to link it), she would frequently show a tape of it to guests, and even would do her own version of it: Julia Child imitating Dan Aykroyd imitating Julia Child. And she'd collapse, giggling, when she got to the final "Save the livers!"

    Another fun detail: The sketch was written by now-Senator Al Franken, who was onstage during the taping, crouched under the kitchen set and operating the pump that squirted "blood" out of Aykroyd's sleeve.

    • Geminisunmars

      Ah — a simpler, sweeter time.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      She also was a spy for the O.S.S. in 2nd world war, a tough broad in her day.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        Also too, she exhibits grace under fire, thick skin, still spine, all the attributes Sarah and her followers claim she has.

    • AlterNewt

      Met her at a book signing. Wonderful woman.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I think we should have a parade.
    http://www.bigeventsonline.com/HeliumParadeBalloo

  • Goonemeritus

    On this National day of thanksgiving what could be more appropriate than to be reminded that Palin's political future is as dead as those turkeys. Praise be to what ever rock or shrub you hippies worship, my best to you all.

    • corthylio

      Also, too- four moar years!!1!

      • Goonemeritus

        Or possibly 8 if we can just finish tearing up the Constitution in time.

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          There's still stuff in the Constitution left to tear up? No wonder the Republicans lost so badly. Or should that be "Goodly"?

          • Isyaignert

            Ha! I was in DC in 2006 and went to the National Archives. I couldn't find the Constitution, so I asked a guard where it was. She said it was out for repairs. I said, "Of course, it needed repairs after Bush shredded it."

          • GeneralLerong

            Damn, I wish I was so quick with the snappy retorts.

            Did the guard give you a high five, an uncomprehending stare, or a "Fuckling Smartass Libtard" look of loathing?

          • Isyaignert

            The guard was a young blah woman and she just smiled at me.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Turkeyghazi! Sarah Palin did nothing to stop the slaughter of American turkeys! INPEECH!!1!

    • LetUsBray

      Can you impeach someone who doesn't have a job?

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Maybe we can impeach her from all media so we never have to hear from her again?

        • Geminisunmars

          I second that impeachment.

    • corthylio

      So -ghazi is the new -gate?

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Sure! Why not?

  • rocktonsam

    "Turkey killing -fouls Palin news conference"

    chicken choker continues to keep fucking that chicken

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    As Ben Franklin said "a turkey is a much more respectable bird, and a true original Native of America, than a Sarah Palin."

  • GeneralLerong

    Heh.

    Zombie Reagan/Zombie Palin 2016 – new political party for bitter old white teabaggers, with headless white turkey as mascot.

  • Callyson

    How have I missed this tradition before this year?

    And sweet Jesus, I am thankful that she is not a heartbeat away from the White House…

    • LetUsBray

      A heartbeat, pffft. If her ticket had won in '08, Gramps would have "accidentally" fallen down a flight of stairs withing weeks of the inauguration.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        He would not need to have been pushed, he would have jumped out of a sense of debt to the country that gave him 5 jets to crash.

  • AlterNewt

    Oh yeah, her. She used to be a thing.

  • ThundercatHo

    This beloved blood-porn is a wonderful tradition. Much better than spending a beautiful day cooking and cleaning (2 activities I loathe). Now, I can spend the family dinner imagining certain people's heads being shoved into a grinder, with votes, of course. Best wishes to all of you. May your day be filled with good food, people you love and a nice nap.

    • Geminisunmars

      I'd like to go directly to the nap.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I keep watching and waiting for the turkey to be killed but the bitch keeps talking!

  • MosesInvests

    I thought the correct spelling was "NEVAR forget"?

  • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

    And a redundancy as well.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    That poor stupid feathered mess never knew what hit it. Although I feel worse for the turkey.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Best.

  • secanonymous

    Turkeys don't come in black?

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Watch enough hip hop and rap videos and you'll find that even blacks don't come in blacks anymore.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      No, but they do come wrapped in Burberry plaid, apparently.

    • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      There are jive turkeys. Like the one that won't shut up in the video.

  • Beowoof

    I just got back from riding my motorcycle in Western NY on Thanksgiving and was thanking global warming for that; and there is once again a new Thanksgiving feel good tradition, Sarah Palin looking like an asshole.

    • Negropolis

      It was 60 degrees on the southern shores of Lake Michigan, yesterday. Usually, people dread the annual turkey plunges and runs and whatnot. People were savoring it, yesterday.

  • BlueStateLibel

    I'm just reminded again of the supreme irony of John McCain complaining about Susan Rice being unqualified, it's like the town drunk accusing you of having a drinking problem.

  • SnarkOff

    Who's hungry for turkey?

  • not that Dewey

    "Oh, are we not doing the talent portion?"

  • lulzmonger

    Sarah Palin: the Pope's Nose of American politics.

  • ttommyunger

    No snark: I am thankful for Lou Sarah. I am thankful for John McCain's clogged arteries and grey matter that allowed him to choose her over other more serious candidates. I'm thankful for the Tea Party and the gains in Congress and the White House wins that would not be possible without their fantastic overreach and ignorant, short-sighted policy positions. I'm thankful for the Religious Wrong for their continuing muddying of the political waters and the special way they have of making drooling idiots out of would-be serious political contenders. Yes, I'm thankful for all the Fucktards who have worked so hard to gain control of the levers of Government only to see their efforts go down in Electoral flames. Happy Thanksgiving and fuck you all very much!

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      I'm having a MRE (you might know them as K-rations) meal in your honor. And Bah Humbug, I thank you for your service, also.

      • ttommyunger

        Thanks. K's were before my time, but I've eaten a shit-load of C's; they are responsible for the sleeping bag acquiring the name “fart-sack”.

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          Sorry about that, I forgot about C-rats and conflated my dad's talks about his WWII food experiences in the South Pacific. I was in the Air Farce and most of my meals were either in the commissary or (time allowing) the snack bar at the bowling alley. Miss those toaster oven pastrami sammiches, umm, umm, be still what's left of my heart.

          • ttommyunger

            Dad was career AF. Makes me an AF brat.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

          • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

            You were an AF brat? May god (if you believe that there is one) have mercy on your soul (if you believe that you have one). We're +/- about the same age so your dad must have flown in or worked on planes that had those watchamacallits on the front, oh yeah, propellers,
            Me, I was just another Phantom Phucker (Phixer), keeping those baby burners flying. F4's still rock my world when I see one at an air show!

          • ttommyunger

            He was in Burma in WWll. Flew the hump. Chaplain. Ret as Full Bird, passed in 97 at 84.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

          • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

            Lifting a glass and saying Salut' to pops and Vets everywhere. 

          • ttommyunger

            Fer sure.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

    • Lot_49

      I'm thankful for ttommyunger, and this reminder that, whatever his faults, Obama was and will be a better president than either of his opponents could have ever have been.

      Shoulda spent more time in Phnom Penh, though.

      • ttommyunger

        Thanks, and you are right all the way around.

        • Lot_49

          As I remember it from aerial photographs as we were bombing the living shit out of the countryside around it, Phnom Penh looked low-rise, quiet, rural, maybe even a bit primitive. They've been through hell in that country, to be sure. Maybe even a scolding visit from Hopey will help them emerge from the shadows. Then we can see more pix.

          • ttommyunger

            Such a shame. Uncle Ho and his men were our faithful ally against the Japanese in WWll, but Truman had to give their Country back to the fucking French, because -white.

    • AlterNewt

      Same to you, ttommy, and thanks also for the millions and millions of dollars they wasted trying to elect these cretins.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      AMEN!

    • GeneralLerong

      Virtual high five.

      Er, make that a salute.

      • ttommyunger

        Much thanks & back atcha!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

    • LibrarianX

      I am very thankful that Karl Rove fucked up so badly – and wasted so much money in doing so.

      • ttommyunger

        That is sweeeeet!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

  • sbj1964

    Yes let's celebrate the wiping out of a native people by religious ass-wipes with plague infected blankets.Good times,Good times?

  • gullywompr

    I feel like Alex in A Clockwork Orange undergoing Ludivico Treatment. Viddy well, little droogs. Viddy well.

    • LibrarianX

      Real horrorshow

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    I'm thankful this heretical, filthy minded band of snark artists abides and manages to spin gold from the low grade straw present-day conservadouches, rightwingers and blowhards fetter out compared to pre-Palin Dubya-derp years; stuff the sorriest turkey in the hatchery wouldn't blink at y'all continue to work wonders with, the whole brazen godless lot of you.

    • FlipFlopFuck

      May I recommend, also too, that you try SYLT BLÅBÄR as a side dish instead of cranberries.

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        Depends — if it's fresh/ organic or canned/ reconstituted?

        • FlipFlopFuck

          Bland and canned.

  • ElPinche

    Hey moochers, freeloaders, and all around marxists! Happy Turkey day!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VbYZDohsHk

    • FlipFlopFuck

      Back atcha, you Alinskyite baby-killin' homo.

      • ElPinche

        Too bad Planned Parenthood is closed today….oh well, i'll have to do my own fetal experiments…just like the pilgrims!

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      hope yours was fantastic.

      now where's my free shit?

  • Lot_49

    Happy Thanksgiving all!

  • Fox n Fiends

    "Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday…The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant consumption is the result and reward of production." – Ayn Rand

    • Lot_49

      Please don't bring that hateful harpy to the table.

      • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        Another jive turkey..

    • BlueStateLibel

      But that socialist anti-Christ FDR of all people made it into the two-day affair, with the second day involving shopping, in order to make the little capitalist shopkeepers all happy … who would have thought.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    I still remember how Keith Olbermann ranted and raved about, and played this clip in permaloop for days. Good ol' Keith.

    • shelwood46

      Yet he was taking the day off when this aired, leaving it to frequent sub David Shuster to be immortalized.

      • AutomaticPilot

        Love your avatar, and the Split Enz!

        • shelwood46

          I've been humming Stuff and Nonsense since the Veep debate.

  • Detesticle

    So that's the concession speech Steve Schmidt stopped her from delivering Election Night 2008.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Because nobody puts Sarah in the corner!

  • FlipFlopFuck

    You know who else put poor souls through the grinder?

    • PubOption

      Someone in the video for 'Another Brick in the Wall'.

    • Not_Mother

      Fawn Hall?

  • Crank_Tango

    Happy Black Friday Eve, libtards! May your days be merry and bright, or something!

  • LibertyLover

    Prefer watching "It's a Wonderful Life" right after the the Macy's parade where Donald Trump played the Turkey this year and PBO played Santa Claus givin' out the "free stuff."

    FSM Bless Us Every One!

  • barto

    Yep, kind of like watching a train wreck – I mean Palin, of course.

  • FlipFlopFuck

    She said it was a surveyor's turkey.

  • shelwood46

    David Shuster libel! Not smug, funny.

  • TribecaMike

    If it's okay with you, I'm going to name all of my children Snipy. Or pets, same diff.

  • Isyaignert

    Haha – I will never tire of watching that video!

  • LibrarianX

    She should use this for her new fitness video/workout series.

  • LibrarianX

    Is there video of Sarah gutting a moose?

  • auckland_bruin

    Thanks for posting this — the quintessential LouSarah!!

  • Steverino247

    Let the government get out of the way of businesses who openly tell their employees not to complain about conditions because unemployment is 28%.

    Mindless cunt.

  • viennawoods13

    I love watching the turkey killer stare at her.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Drained that Turkey by day, spanked the monkey that night.

  • Negropolis

    Turkey-Killing Fowls Palin News Conference

    This is why I'll never be able to quit MSNBC.

  • DahBoner

    A pardoned turkey is too filthy for Palin to hold yet she gobbles Todd's turkee…