Feeling a bit low this Thanksgiving? A bit like something is just…missing? Likely this is because Wonkette has neglected our sort-of-annual Thanksgiving tradition. As a parade is to Macy’s, Sarah Palin’s interview-cum-turkey-slaughter-horror-show is to Wonkette. And really, what news story is more Wonkette-ish than Sarah Palin yammering on obliviously as turkeys are ground to bits behind her by the most stereotypically gomer-ish guy Alaska could produce?
Your Wonkette began this noble tradition in 2008, with Jim Newell’s brief but paradigm-shifting post, in which Jim coined the all too necessary phrase “Sarah Palin/Turkey Grinder Bloodporn.” Mindful of our duty to bring you hard-hitting news you can use, we quickly updated Jim’s story with additional reporting that the cameraman for the Palin Bloodfest had won many awards! Ken Layne weighed in in 2010 to remind us to never forget the terror and joy of turkey slaughter day.
Who are we kidding? We just really wanted an excuse to post this youtube video again, complete with smug MSNBC anchordude faux-warning you to not watch it when of course you’re going to watch it.
Merry Thanksgiving, America.
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The dead turkey would be a better candidate in 2016 than Palin would.
And probably would have won more primaries.
And read more books.
And winked less.
Needz moar bumpit.
Well, kudos to it for managing to wink at all after they cut its head off.
She wasn't winking, her eye, like most of the rest of the world, was just trying to get away from her and her eyelid was trying to stop it from jumping out of the socket.
More mavericky
Why is this ridiculous woman still relevant? 15 min were up 4 years ago.
"assumed dead"
Even after passing through my wholesome Amercian guts.
This never gets old. And what makes it even better, for all of her homespun lunacy, she and walnuts still lost. Game Changer my left nut.
You would still do it though right?
The turkey died and went to a better place, away from Sarah Palin.
I think now I'll just have the ham.
Never. Gets. Old.
Can we watch "Alice's Restaurant" instead, please?
We had no fewer than three stations just play it around NYC, NV. For shits and giggles I put all three on in its own room. Now I have a headache.
That song. I'm thankful that it's been many, many years since my friends grew as tired of hearing it as I grew tired of playing and singing it.
And keep pretty much the same pickin' right on to Keep on Truckin'
It was fun to play, the first 1000 times, but there is a burnout factor, as I assume you know.
Fuck I forgot how much I hate hearing that woman speak.
That's not "speech," it authentic frontier gibberish. And yes, it's awful.
I wish they'd pixelate her face, too, or even better her voice.
I thought her voice was already pixelated.
Autotune would be her friend. Her only friend.
Sarah Palin/Turkey Grinder Bloodporn?
Hey, you had me at the "porn" part.
I notice that you weren't 'had' until that last word…
I'm not an easy "had", the other stuff just didn't move me.
The problem is, when you start with the porn, everyone just ignores whatever follows.
Something I learned at a previous Thanksgiving.
Ah yes, the day Palin's political potential flushed down the drain like so many slaughterhouse giblets. Good times.
I heard she is inviting Paul Ryan for dinner.Gee,two Turkeys.
Watching Sarah on Turkey day has to be a new Thanksgiving low.
The bled out headless turkey carcass still has more intelligence than Sarah.
"No worries. People will be watching me and only me. Like, duh!"
OT, kinda-sorta: the Dianne Rehm Show today had a rerun of an interview with Julia Child biographer Bob Spitz, who added a little something to my appreciation of that awesome woman. Not only was she not offended by Dan Aykroyd's SNL sketch (you know the one, I don't even need to link it), she would frequently show a tape of it to guests, and even would do her own version of it: Julia Child imitating Dan Aykroyd imitating Julia Child. And she'd collapse, giggling, when she got to the final "Save the livers!"
Another fun detail: The sketch was written by now-Senator Al Franken, who was onstage during the taping, crouched under the kitchen set and operating the pump that squirted "blood" out of Aykroyd's sleeve.
Ah — a simpler, sweeter time.
She also was a spy for the O.S.S. in 2nd world war, a tough broad in her day.
Also too, she exhibits grace under fire, thick skin, still spine, all the attributes Sarah and her followers claim she has.
Met her at a book signing. Wonderful woman.
I think we should have a parade.
http://www.bigeventsonline.com/HeliumParadeBalloo…
On this National day of thanksgiving what could be more appropriate than to be reminded that Palin's political future is as dead as those turkeys. Praise be to what ever rock or shrub you hippies worship, my best to you all.
Also, too- four moar years!!1!
Or possibly 8 if we can just finish tearing up the Constitution in time.
There's still stuff in the Constitution left to tear up? No wonder the Republicans lost so badly. Or should that be "Goodly"?
Ha! I was in DC in 2006 and went to the National Archives. I couldn't find the Constitution, so I asked a guard where it was. She said it was out for repairs. I said, "Of course, it needed repairs after Bush shredded it."
Turkeyghazi! Sarah Palin did nothing to stop the slaughter of American turkeys! INPEECH!!1!
Can you impeach someone who doesn't have a job?
Maybe we can impeach her from all media so we never have to hear from her again?
I second that impeachment.
So -ghazi is the new -gate?
Sure! Why not?
"Turkey killing -fouls Palin news conference"
chicken choker continues to keep fucking that chicken
As Ben Franklin said "a turkey is a much more respectable bird, and a true original Native of America, than a Sarah Palin."
Heh.
Zombie Reagan/Zombie Palin 2016 – new political party for bitter old white teabaggers, with headless white turkey as mascot.
How have I missed this tradition before this year?
And sweet Jesus, I am thankful that she is not a heartbeat away from the White House…
A heartbeat, pffft. If her ticket had won in '08, Gramps would have "accidentally" fallen down a flight of stairs withing weeks of the inauguration.
He would not need to have been pushed, he would have jumped out of a sense of debt to the country that gave him 5 jets to crash.
Oh yeah, her. She used to be a thing.
This beloved blood-porn is a wonderful tradition. Much better than spending a beautiful day cooking and cleaning (2 activities I loathe). Now, I can spend the family dinner imagining certain people's heads being shoved into a grinder, with votes, of course. Best wishes to all of you. May your day be filled with good food, people you love and a nice nap.
I'd like to go directly to the nap.
I keep watching and waiting for the turkey to be killed but the bitch keeps talking!
I thought the correct spelling was "NEVAR forget"?
And a redundancy as well.
That poor stupid feathered mess never knew what hit it. Although I feel worse for the turkey.
Best.
Turkeys don't come in black?
Watch enough hip hop and rap videos and you'll find that even blacks don't come in blacks anymore.
No, but they do come wrapped in Burberry plaid, apparently.
There are jive turkeys. Like the one that won't shut up in the video.
I just got back from riding my motorcycle in Western NY on Thanksgiving and was thanking global warming for that; and there is once again a new Thanksgiving feel good tradition, Sarah Palin looking like an asshole.
It was 60 degrees on the southern shores of Lake Michigan, yesterday. Usually, people dread the annual turkey plunges and runs and whatnot. People were savoring it, yesterday.
I'm just reminded again of the supreme irony of John McCain complaining about Susan Rice being unqualified, it's like the town drunk accusing you of having a drinking problem.
Who's hungry for turkey?
"Oh, are we not doing the talent portion?"
Sarah Palin: the Pope's Nose of American politics.
No snark: I am thankful for Lou Sarah. I am thankful for John McCain's clogged arteries and grey matter that allowed him to choose her over other more serious candidates. I'm thankful for the Tea Party and the gains in Congress and the White House wins that would not be possible without their fantastic overreach and ignorant, short-sighted policy positions. I'm thankful for the Religious Wrong for their continuing muddying of the political waters and the special way they have of making drooling idiots out of would-be serious political contenders. Yes, I'm thankful for all the Fucktards who have worked so hard to gain control of the levers of Government only to see their efforts go down in Electoral flames. Happy Thanksgiving and fuck you all very much!
I'm having a MRE (you might know them as K-rations) meal in your honor. And Bah Humbug, I thank you for your service, also.
Thanks. K's were before my time, but I've eaten a shit-load of C's; they are responsible for the sleeping bag acquiring the name “fart-sack”.
Sorry about that, I forgot about C-rats and conflated my dad's talks about his WWII food experiences in the South Pacific. I was in the Air Farce and most of my meals were either in the commissary or (time allowing) the snack bar at the bowling alley. Miss those toaster oven pastrami sammiches, umm, umm, be still what's left of my heart.
Dad was career AF. Makes me an AF brat.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.
I'm thankful for ttommyunger, and this reminder that, whatever his faults, Obama was and will be a better president than either of his opponents could have ever have been.
Shoulda spent more time in Phnom Penh, though.
Thanks, and you are right all the way around.
As I remember it from aerial photographs as we were bombing the living shit out of the countryside around it, Phnom Penh looked low-rise, quiet, rural, maybe even a bit primitive. They've been through hell in that country, to be sure. Maybe even a scolding visit from Hopey will help them emerge from the shadows. Then we can see more pix.
Such a shame. Uncle Ho and his men were our faithful ally against the Japanese in WWll, but Truman had to give their Country back to the fucking French, because -white.
Same to you, ttommy, and thanks also for the millions and millions of dollars they wasted trying to elect these cretins.
AMEN!
Virtual high five.
Er, make that a salute.
Much thanks & back atcha!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.
I am very thankful that Karl Rove fucked up so badly – and wasted so much money in doing so.
That is sweeeeet!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.
Yes let's celebrate the wiping out of a native people by religious ass-wipes with plague infected blankets.Good times,Good times?
I feel like Alex in A Clockwork Orange undergoing Ludivico Treatment. Viddy well, little droogs. Viddy well.
Real horrorshow
I'm thankful this heretical, filthy minded band of snark artists abides and manages to spin gold from the low grade straw present-day conservadouches, rightwingers and blowhards fetter out compared to pre-Palin Dubya-derp years; stuff the sorriest turkey in the hatchery wouldn't blink at y'all continue to work wonders with, the whole brazen godless lot of you.
May I recommend, also too, that you try SYLT BLÅBÄR as a side dish instead of cranberries.
Depends — if it's fresh/ organic or canned/ reconstituted?
Bland and canned.
Hey moochers, freeloaders, and all around marxists! Happy Turkey day!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VbYZDohsHk
Back atcha, you Alinskyite baby-killin' homo.
Too bad Planned Parenthood is closed today….oh well, i'll have to do my own fetal experiments…just like the pilgrims!
hope yours was fantastic.
now where's my free shit?
Happy Thanksgiving all!
"Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday…The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant consumption is the result and reward of production." – Ayn Rand
Please don't bring that hateful harpy to the table.
Another jive turkey..
But that socialist anti-Christ FDR of all people made it into the two-day affair, with the second day involving shopping, in order to make the little capitalist shopkeepers all happy … who would have thought.
I still remember how Keith Olbermann ranted and raved about, and played this clip in permaloop for days. Good ol' Keith.
Yet he was taking the day off when this aired, leaving it to frequent sub David Shuster to be immortalized.
Love your avatar, and the Split Enz!
I've been humming Stuff and Nonsense since the Veep debate.
So that's the concession speech Steve Schmidt stopped her from delivering Election Night 2008.
Because nobody puts Sarah in the corner!
You know who else put poor souls through the grinder?
Someone in the video for 'Another Brick in the Wall'.
Fawn Hall?
Happy Black Friday Eve, libtards! May your days be merry and bright, or something!
Prefer watching "It's a Wonderful Life" right after the the Macy's parade where Donald Trump played the Turkey this year and PBO played Santa Claus givin' out the "free stuff."
FSM Bless Us Every One!
Yep, kind of like watching a train wreck – I mean Palin, of course.
She said it was a surveyor's turkey.
David Shuster libel! Not smug, funny.
If it's okay with you, I'm going to name all of my children Snipy. Or pets, same diff.
Haha – I will never tire of watching that video!
She should use this for her new fitness video/workout series.
Is there video of Sarah gutting a moose?
Thanks for posting this — the quintessential LouSarah!!
Let the government get out of the way of businesses who openly tell their employees not to complain about conditions because unemployment is 28%.
Mindless cunt.
I love watching the turkey killer stare at her.
Drained that Turkey by day, spanked the monkey that night.
This is why I'll never be able to quit MSNBC.
A pardoned turkey is too filthy for Palin to hold yet she gobbles Todd's turkee…
Yes, there is a limit to how many #7s and sus 2s & 4s ya can toss in to up the attention span before yer Travis pickin' thumb starts a dozin'. Especially with a song that can go on forever. Much as I loved it back in the day, if now I'm feeling a need for that progression I go with Blind Boy Fuller's Truckin' Ma Bluez Away.
"before yer Travis pickin' thumb starts a dozin'."
…or starts gettin' frozen. As in finger picking at outdoor gigs when it's really, really cold.
Good piano on that link, BTW.
Smokin', burnin' riffs, weej. Nice link. When can we start the Wonkette band? I could be backup backup guitar!
You were an AF brat? May god (if you believe that there is one) have mercy on your soul (if you believe that you have one). We're +/- about the same age so your dad must have flown in or worked on planes that had those watchamacallits on the front, oh yeah, propellers,
Me, I was just another Phantom Phucker (Phixer), keeping those baby burners flying. F4's still rock my world when I see one at an air show!
He was in Burma in WWll. Flew the hump. Chaplain. Ret as Full Bird, passed in 97 at 84.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.
Damn, I wish I was so quick with the snappy retorts.
Did the guard give you a high five, an uncomprehending stare, or a "Fuckling Smartass Libtard" look of loathing?
The guard was a young blah woman and she just smiled at me.
Lifting a glass and saying Salut' to pops and Vets everywhere.
Fer sure.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.
Dibs on first triangle and lead vocals!
I can be groupie?
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