NEVER FORGET  12:00 pm November 22, 2012

Watch the Palin Turkey Massacre Again, Because ‘Tradition’

by snipy

Feeling a bit low this Thanksgiving? A bit like something is just…missing? Likely this is because Wonkette has neglected our sort-of-annual Thanksgiving tradition. As a parade is to Macy’s, Sarah Palin’s interview-cum-turkey-slaughter-horror-show is to Wonkette. And really, what news story is more Wonkette-ish than Sarah Palin yammering on obliviously as turkeys are ground to bits behind her by the most stereotypically gomer-ish guy Alaska could produce?

Your Wonkette began this noble tradition in 2008, with Jim Newell’s brief but paradigm-shifting post, in which Jim coined the all too necessary phrase “Sarah Palin/Turkey Grinder Bloodporn.” Mindful of our duty to bring you hard-hitting news you can use, we quickly updated Jim’s story with additional reporting that the cameraman for the Palin Bloodfest had won many awards! Ken Layne weighed in in 2010 to remind us to never forget the terror and joy of turkey slaughter day.

Who are we kidding? We just really wanted an excuse to post this youtube video again, complete with smug MSNBC anchordude faux-warning you to not watch it when of course you’re going to watch it.

Merry Thanksgiving, America.

 
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Hola wonkerados.

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{ 142 comments }

nounverb911 November 22, 2012 at 12:05 pm

The dead turkey would be a better candidate in 2016 than Palin would.

actor212 November 22, 2012 at 12:40 pm

And probably would have won more primaries.

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 12:43 pm

And read more books.

not that Dewey November 22, 2012 at 1:00 pm

And winked less.

Mumbletypeg November 22, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Needz moar bumpit.

sullivanst November 22, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Well, kudos to it for managing to wink at all after they cut its head off.

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 3:46 pm

She wasn't winking, her eye, like most of the rest of the world, was just trying to get away from her and her eyelid was trying to stop it from jumping out of the socket.

valgal2342 November 22, 2012 at 1:37 pm

More mavericky

sbj1964 November 22, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Why is this ridiculous woman still relevant? 15 min were up 4 years ago.

deanbooth November 22, 2012 at 10:50 pm

"assumed dead"

Biff November 23, 2012 at 12:45 am

Even after passing through my wholesome Amercian guts.

Dashboard Buddha November 22, 2012 at 12:05 pm

This never gets old. And what makes it even better, for all of her homespun lunacy, she and walnuts still lost. Game Changer my left nut.

sbj1964 November 22, 2012 at 1:05 pm

You would still do it though right?

EloquentScience November 22, 2012 at 12:05 pm

The turkey died and went to a better place, away from Sarah Palin.

sbj1964 November 22, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I think now I'll just have the ham.

smashedinhat November 22, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Never. Gets. Old.

nounverb911 November 22, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Can we watch "Alice's Restaurant" instead, please?

actor212 November 22, 2012 at 12:41 pm

We had no fewer than three stations just play it around NYC, NV. For shits and giggles I put all three on in its own room. Now I have a headache.

AlterNewt November 22, 2012 at 1:06 pm

That song. I'm thankful that it's been many, many years since my friends grew as tired of hearing it as I grew tired of playing and singing it.

weejee November 22, 2012 at 1:25 pm

And keep pretty much the same pickin' right on to Keep on Truckin'

AlterNewt November 22, 2012 at 1:35 pm

It was fun to play, the first 1000 times, but there is a burnout factor, as I assume you know.

taylormattd November 22, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Fuck I forgot how much I hate hearing that woman speak.

Blendergoathead November 23, 2012 at 1:05 pm

That's not "speech," it authentic frontier gibberish. And yes, it's awful.

crisptickle November 22, 2012 at 12:11 pm

I wish they'd pixelate her face, too, or even better her voice.

Geminisunmars November 22, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I thought her voice was already pixelated.

NorthStarSpanx November 22, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Autotune would be her friend. Her only friend.

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Sarah Palin/Turkey Grinder Bloodporn?
Hey, you had me at the "porn" part.

corthylio November 22, 2012 at 12:28 pm

I notice that you weren't 'had' until that last word…

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 12:45 pm

I'm not an easy "had", the other stuff just didn't move me.

Mahousu November 22, 2012 at 2:01 pm

The problem is, when you start with the porn, everyone just ignores whatever follows.

Something I learned at a previous Thanksgiving.

StarsUponThars November 22, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Ah yes, the day Palin's political potential flushed down the drain like so many slaughterhouse giblets. Good times.

sbj1964 November 22, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I heard she is inviting Paul Ryan for dinner.Gee,two Turkeys.

BZ1 November 22, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Watching Sarah on Turkey day has to be a new Thanksgiving low.

ManchuCandidate November 22, 2012 at 12:22 pm

The bled out headless turkey carcass still has more intelligence than Sarah.

smokefilledroommate November 22, 2012 at 12:22 pm

"No worries. People will be watching me and only me. Like, duh!"

Doktor Zoom November 22, 2012 at 12:22 pm

OT, kinda-sorta: the Dianne Rehm Show today had a rerun of an interview with Julia Child biographer Bob Spitz, who added a little something to my appreciation of that awesome woman. Not only was she not offended by Dan Aykroyd's SNL sketch (you know the one, I don't even need to link it), she would frequently show a tape of it to guests, and even would do her own version of it: Julia Child imitating Dan Aykroyd imitating Julia Child. And she'd collapse, giggling, when she got to the final "Save the livers!"

Another fun detail: The sketch was written by now-Senator Al Franken, who was onstage during the taping, crouched under the kitchen set and operating the pump that squirted "blood" out of Aykroyd's sleeve.

Geminisunmars November 22, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Ah — a simpler, sweeter time.

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 1:55 pm

She also was a spy for the O.S.S. in 2nd world war, a tough broad in her day.

NorthStarSpanx November 22, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Also too, she exhibits grace under fire, thick skin, still spine, all the attributes Sarah and her followers claim she has.

AlterNewt November 22, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Met her at a book signing. Wonderful woman.

Blueb4sinrise November 22, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I think we should have a parade.
http://www.bigeventsonline.com/HeliumParadeBalloo

Goonemeritus November 22, 2012 at 12:25 pm

On this National day of thanksgiving what could be more appropriate than to be reminded that Palin's political future is as dead as those turkeys. Praise be to what ever rock or shrub you hippies worship, my best to you all.

corthylio November 22, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Also, too- four moar years!!1!

Goonemeritus November 22, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Or possibly 8 if we can just finish tearing up the Constitution in time.

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 12:54 pm

There's still stuff in the Constitution left to tear up? No wonder the Republicans lost so badly. Or should that be "Goodly"?

Isyaignert November 22, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Ha! I was in DC in 2006 and went to the National Archives. I couldn't find the Constitution, so I asked a guard where it was. She said it was out for repairs. I said, "Of course, it needed repairs after Bush shredded it."

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 22, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Turkeyghazi! Sarah Palin did nothing to stop the slaughter of American turkeys! INPEECH!!1!

LetUsBray November 22, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Can you impeach someone who doesn't have a job?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 22, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Maybe we can impeach her from all media so we never have to hear from her again?

Geminisunmars November 22, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I second that impeachment.

corthylio November 22, 2012 at 12:32 pm

So -ghazi is the new -gate?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 22, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Sure! Why not?

rocktonsam November 22, 2012 at 12:32 pm

"Turkey killing -fouls Palin news conference"

chicken choker continues to keep fucking that chicken

Loch_Nessosaur November 22, 2012 at 12:33 pm

As Ben Franklin said "a turkey is a much more respectable bird, and a true original Native of America, than a Sarah Palin."

GeneralLerong November 22, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Heh.

Zombie Reagan/Zombie Palin 2016 – new political party for bitter old white teabaggers, with headless white turkey as mascot.

Callyson November 22, 2012 at 12:35 pm

How have I missed this tradition before this year?

And sweet Jesus, I am thankful that she is not a heartbeat away from the White House…

LetUsBray November 22, 2012 at 12:38 pm

A heartbeat, pffft. If her ticket had won in '08, Gramps would have "accidentally" fallen down a flight of stairs withing weeks of the inauguration.

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 12:48 pm

He would not need to have been pushed, he would have jumped out of a sense of debt to the country that gave him 5 jets to crash.

AlterNewt November 22, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Oh yeah, her. She used to be a thing.

ThundercatHo November 22, 2012 at 12:40 pm

This beloved blood-porn is a wonderful tradition. Much better than spending a beautiful day cooking and cleaning (2 activities I loathe). Now, I can spend the family dinner imagining certain people's heads being shoved into a grinder, with votes, of course. Best wishes to all of you. May your day be filled with good food, people you love and a nice nap.

Geminisunmars November 22, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I'd like to go directly to the nap.

actor212 November 22, 2012 at 12:40 pm

I keep watching and waiting for the turkey to be killed but the bitch keeps talking!

MosesInvests November 22, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I thought the correct spelling was "NEVAR forget"?

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 12:46 pm

And a redundancy as well.

SayItWithWookies November 22, 2012 at 12:53 pm

That poor stupid feathered mess never knew what hit it. Although I feel worse for the turkey.

NorthStarSpanx November 22, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Best.

secanonymous November 22, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Turkeys don't come in black?

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Watch enough hip hop and rap videos and you'll find that even blacks don't come in blacks anymore.

SayItWithWookies November 22, 2012 at 1:25 pm

No, but they do come wrapped in Burberry plaid, apparently.

smokefilledroommate November 22, 2012 at 1:41 pm

There are jive turkeys. Like the one that won't shut up in the video.

Beowoof November 22, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I just got back from riding my motorcycle in Western NY on Thanksgiving and was thanking global warming for that; and there is once again a new Thanksgiving feel good tradition, Sarah Palin looking like an asshole.

Negropolis November 23, 2012 at 1:25 am

It was 60 degrees on the southern shores of Lake Michigan, yesterday. Usually, people dread the annual turkey plunges and runs and whatnot. People were savoring it, yesterday.

BlueStateLibel November 22, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I'm just reminded again of the supreme irony of John McCain complaining about Susan Rice being unqualified, it's like the town drunk accusing you of having a drinking problem.

SnarkOff November 22, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Who's hungry for turkey?

not that Dewey November 22, 2012 at 1:03 pm

"Oh, are we not doing the talent portion?"

lulzmonger November 22, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Sarah Palin: the Pope's Nose of American politics.

ttommyunger November 22, 2012 at 1:09 pm

No snark: I am thankful for Lou Sarah. I am thankful for John McCain's clogged arteries and grey matter that allowed him to choose her over other more serious candidates. I'm thankful for the Tea Party and the gains in Congress and the White House wins that would not be possible without their fantastic overreach and ignorant, short-sighted policy positions. I'm thankful for the Religious Wrong for their continuing muddying of the political waters and the special way they have of making drooling idiots out of would-be serious political contenders. Yes, I'm thankful for all the Fucktards who have worked so hard to gain control of the levers of Government only to see their efforts go down in Electoral flames. Happy Thanksgiving and fuck you all very much!

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I'm having a MRE (you might know them as K-rations) meal in your honor. And Bah Humbug, I thank you for your service, also.

ttommyunger November 22, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Thanks. K's were before my time, but I've eaten a shit-load of C's; they are responsible for the sleeping bag acquiring the name “fart-sack”.

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Sorry about that, I forgot about C-rats and conflated my dad's talks about his WWII food experiences in the South Pacific. I was in the Air Farce and most of my meals were either in the commissary or (time allowing) the snack bar at the bowling alley. Miss those toaster oven pastrami sammiches, umm, umm, be still what's left of my heart.

ttommyunger November 22, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Dad was career AF. Makes me an AF brat.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

Lot_49 November 22, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I'm thankful for ttommyunger, and this reminder that, whatever his faults, Obama was and will be a better president than either of his opponents could have ever have been.

Shoulda spent more time in Phnom Penh, though.

ttommyunger November 22, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Thanks, and you are right all the way around.

Lot_49 November 22, 2012 at 1:41 pm

As I remember it from aerial photographs as we were bombing the living shit out of the countryside around it, Phnom Penh looked low-rise, quiet, rural, maybe even a bit primitive. They've been through hell in that country, to be sure. Maybe even a scolding visit from Hopey will help them emerge from the shadows. Then we can see more pix.

ttommyunger November 22, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Such a shame. Uncle Ho and his men were our faithful ally against the Japanese in WWll, but Truman had to give their Country back to the fucking French, because -white.

AlterNewt November 22, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Same to you, ttommy, and thanks also for the millions and millions of dollars they wasted trying to elect these cretins.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 22, 2012 at 1:43 pm

AMEN!

GeneralLerong November 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Virtual high five.

Er, make that a salute.

ttommyunger November 22, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Much thanks & back atcha!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

LibrarianX November 22, 2012 at 5:19 pm

I am very thankful that Karl Rove fucked up so badly – and wasted so much money in doing so.

ttommyunger November 22, 2012 at 5:21 pm

That is sweeeeet!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

sbj1964 November 22, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Yes let's celebrate the wiping out of a native people by religious ass-wipes with plague infected blankets.Good times,Good times?

gullywompr November 22, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I feel like Alex in A Clockwork Orange undergoing Ludivico Treatment. Viddy well, little droogs. Viddy well.

LibrarianX November 22, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Real horrorshow

Mumbletypeg November 22, 2012 at 1:19 pm

I'm thankful this heretical, filthy minded band of snark artists abides and manages to spin gold from the low grade straw present-day conservadouches, rightwingers and blowhards fetter out compared to pre-Palin Dubya-derp years; stuff the sorriest turkey in the hatchery wouldn't blink at y'all continue to work wonders with, the whole brazen godless lot of you.

FlipFlopFuck November 22, 2012 at 2:38 pm

May I recommend, also too, that you try SYLT BLÅBÄR as a side dish instead of cranberries.

Mumbletypeg November 22, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Depends — if it's fresh/ organic or canned/ reconstituted?

FlipFlopFuck November 22, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Bland and canned.

ElPinche November 22, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Hey moochers, freeloaders, and all around marxists! Happy Turkey day!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VbYZDohsHk

FlipFlopFuck November 22, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Back atcha, you Alinskyite baby-killin' homo.

ElPinche November 22, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Too bad Planned Parenthood is closed today….oh well, i'll have to do my own fetal experiments…just like the pilgrims!

fuflans November 23, 2012 at 5:29 pm

hope yours was fantastic.

now where's my free shit?

Lot_49 November 22, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Happy Thanksgiving all!

Fox n Fiends November 22, 2012 at 1:38 pm

"Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday…The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant consumption is the result and reward of production." – Ayn Rand

Lot_49 November 22, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Please don't bring that hateful harpy to the table.

smokefilledroommate November 22, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Another jive turkey..

BlueStateLibel November 22, 2012 at 2:00 pm

But that socialist anti-Christ FDR of all people made it into the two-day affair, with the second day involving shopping, in order to make the little capitalist shopkeepers all happy … who would have thought.

Designer_Rants November 22, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I still remember how Keith Olbermann ranted and raved about, and played this clip in permaloop for days. Good ol' Keith.

shelwood46 November 22, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Yet he was taking the day off when this aired, leaving it to frequent sub David Shuster to be immortalized.

AutomaticPilot November 22, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Love your avatar, and the Split Enz!

shelwood46 November 23, 2012 at 1:35 am

I've been humming Stuff and Nonsense since the Veep debate.

Detesticle November 22, 2012 at 1:53 pm

So that's the concession speech Steve Schmidt stopped her from delivering Election Night 2008.

NorthStarSpanx November 22, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Because nobody puts Sarah in the corner!

FlipFlopFuck November 22, 2012 at 2:03 pm

You know who else put poor souls through the grinder?

PubOption November 22, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Someone in the video for 'Another Brick in the Wall'.

Not_Mother November 22, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Fawn Hall?

Crank_Tango November 22, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Happy Black Friday Eve, libtards! May your days be merry and bright, or something!

LibertyLover November 22, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Prefer watching "It's a Wonderful Life" right after the the Macy's parade where Donald Trump played the Turkey this year and PBO played Santa Claus givin' out the "free stuff."

FSM Bless Us Every One!

barto November 22, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Yep, kind of like watching a train wreck – I mean Palin, of course.

FlipFlopFuck November 22, 2012 at 2:53 pm

She said it was a surveyor's turkey.

shelwood46 November 22, 2012 at 3:20 pm

David Shuster libel! Not smug, funny.

TribecaMike November 22, 2012 at 3:58 pm

If it's okay with you, I'm going to name all of my children Snipy. Or pets, same diff.

Isyaignert November 22, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Haha – I will never tire of watching that video!

LibrarianX November 22, 2012 at 5:15 pm

She should use this for her new fitness video/workout series.

LibrarianX November 22, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Is there video of Sarah gutting a moose?

auckland_bruin November 22, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Thanks for posting this — the quintessential LouSarah!!

Steverino247 November 22, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Let the government get out of the way of businesses who openly tell their employees not to complain about conditions because unemployment is 28%.

Mindless cunt.

viennawoods13 November 22, 2012 at 6:44 pm

I love watching the turkey killer stare at her.

NorthStarSpanx November 22, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Drained that Turkey by day, spanked the monkey that night.

Negropolis November 23, 2012 at 12:46 am

Turkey-Killing Fowls Palin News Conference

This is why I'll never be able to quit MSNBC.

DahBoner November 23, 2012 at 11:32 pm

A pardoned turkey is too filthy for Palin to hold yet she gobbles Todd's turkee…

weejee November 22, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Yes, there is a limit to how many #7s and sus 2s & 4s ya can toss in to up the attention span before yer Travis pickin' thumb starts a dozin'. Especially with a song that can go on forever. Much as I loved it back in the day, if now I'm feeling a need for that progression I go with Blind Boy Fuller's Truckin' Ma Bluez Away.

AlterNewt November 22, 2012 at 1:58 pm

"before yer Travis pickin' thumb starts a dozin'."

…or starts gettin' frozen. As in finger picking at outdoor gigs when it's really, really cold.

Good piano on that link, BTW.

glasspusher November 25, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Smokin', burnin' riffs, weej. Nice link. When can we start the Wonkette band? I could be backup backup guitar!

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 4:35 pm

You were an AF brat? May god (if you believe that there is one) have mercy on your soul (if you believe that you have one). We're +/- about the same age so your dad must have flown in or worked on planes that had those watchamacallits on the front, oh yeah, propellers,
Me, I was just another Phantom Phucker (Phixer), keeping those baby burners flying. F4's still rock my world when I see one at an air show!

ttommyunger November 22, 2012 at 4:51 pm

He was in Burma in WWll. Flew the hump. Chaplain. Ret as Full Bird, passed in 97 at 84.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

GeneralLerong November 22, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Damn, I wish I was so quick with the snappy retorts.

Did the guard give you a high five, an uncomprehending stare, or a "Fuckling Smartass Libtard" look of loathing?

Isyaignert November 22, 2012 at 9:56 pm

The guard was a young blah woman and she just smiled at me.

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Lifting a glass and saying Salut' to pops and Vets everywhere. 

ttommyunger November 22, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Fer sure.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

actor212 November 26, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Dibs on first triangle and lead vocals!

starfanglednut November 26, 2012 at 12:09 pm

I can be groupie?

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