this is why we can't have nice things

Newark Tries To Murder Cory Booker

It was only a matter of timeAmerica, have you enjoyed your Cory Booker? He has been your American superhero, your bright shining full-of-integrity star in the awful firmament of American politics. He saves ladies from burning buildings. He has a Gosling-style tumblr dedicated to him. He scored free Hot Pockets for America, or at least for Newark. He’s just like you, if you were much better at everything and people fawned all over you on the twitters. It is with great regret, therefore, that Wonkette must inform you that Cory Booker is just another dirty politician like all the rest!

A behind-the-scenes political maneuver by Newark Mayor Cory Booker to fill a vacant council seat with his choice led to a near-riot in city hall tonight, with dozens of residents rushing the council stage and police responding with pepper-spray.

After weeks of jockeying for Rep. Donald Payne’s successor, Booker made an unprecedented personal appearance to cast the deciding vote with his council allies for Shanique Davis Speight, a longtime ally of power broker Stephen Adubato, over the angry objections of residents.

“In the absence of a quorum, I have an obligation to sit in,” Booker said, though he was barely audible over the din.

The packed city council chamber was gearing up for a showdown over the appointment as well known figures including former Mayor Sharpe James, Amiri and Amina Baraka, former Councilwoman Gayle Chaneyfield Jenkins and former Council President Donald Bradley came to back their choices.

Councilman Ras Baraka attempted to speak but was not recognized by Councilman Anibal Ramos, who was serving as acting president. Instead Ramos proceeded with the nomination of Speight.

Baraka, Councilwoman Mildred Crump, and Councilman Darrin Sharif walked off the dais in protest, and Booker came in cast the decisive vote, as laid out in state statute.

The move was planned by Booker’s chief-of-staff, Modia Butler, to scuttle the appointment of James’ son John Sharpe James, an avowed Booker opponent, in favor of Speight. Butler had the mayor at the ready in case of a tie or if there was no quorum.

That was a thrilling  blow-by-blow account of inside-baseball Roberts’ Rules usage, wasn’t it? All you need to know is that Cory Booker used New Jersey state statutes to get his way. QUEL HORREUR! The good people of Newark did not appreciate Mr. Booker’s law-abidin’ procedural maneuverin’, however. Newark residents, in conjunction with union thugz, rushed the stage and lunged at the Booker’s new council crony, Shanique Davis Speight.

After the vote, residents stood chanting “Cory’s gotta go!” as officials shouted over the confusion.

But when Speight was escorted by police to be sworn in, a group of residents, led by SEIU Local 617 President Rahaman Muhammad, stormed the dais and appeared to lunge toward Speight and her grade-school-age son.

Police restrained the group as they toppled a podium and residents were caught in the rush. When Muhammad would not give way, an officer doused him with pepper spray, along with residents, reporters and at least one other officer.

People of Newark, we expect you to now lunge, podium-topple, and dais-storm at every minor city council happening in your fair city. The bar has been set high. The rest of America, we hope you enjoyed your brief flirtation with hope and have now ceased writing Cory Booker 2016 fan fiction.

[New Jersey Star-Ledger]

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  • BadKitty904

    I dunno. He's still pretty damn cute. ;0)~

    Plus what's up with Newark Councilfolk names???

    • CommieDad

      I'd sleep with him.

    • kittensdontlie

      I hate to use a billoism, but those are not traditional American names.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Are youse sayin' their tea is FUCKIN' iced tea?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

          That's "motherfuckin' iced tea," if you please. We must be faithful to the original.

          • StillGoinGreen

            Once again, it's "muhfuckin"!

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Pepper spray? Where do these cops think they are? Some college campus in California?

    Also, those council chambers are gonna smell nice for a looong time.

  • mrpuma2u

    So it's nepotism vs cronyism? Hooray for democracy!

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      But if you crossbred the two, wouldn't you get neponyism?

      Doktor Zoom weeps.

      • therealtinlizzy

        I prefer the term ponycornism.

        • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

          cornponism

          • SorosBot

            Doublepostism?

      • therealtinlizzy

        or perhaps pornycronism.

        • SorosBot

          Doublepostism?

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            c'mon–everyone knows that ponycornism and pornycronism are not the same thing!

        • mrpuma2u

          It has porn in it, so I like this one best. Anyone know if there is video of this "democracy in tumultuous action" action?

  • SorosBot

    Everyone's a superhero, everyone's a Captain Kirk…

    • BadKitty904

      With orders to identify? To clarify, and classify?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

        (pulls out tap shoes, hat, and cane)

        • BadKitty904

          You're puttin' on the ritz?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

            Please don't call a cop!
            Be-bop, I love you, be-bop!

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      I guess it's a bad day to be wearing a red shirt huh?

      • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        I guess I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue.

        • flipdraw

          And amphetamines

  • Come here a minute

    People of Newark, keep this up and Cory Booker stops saving your lives.

  • AlterNewt

    "The rest of America, we hope you enjoyed your brief flirtation with hope and have now ceased writing Cory Booker 2016 fan fiction."

    Well, America isn't really ready for a black man in the White House, anyway.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Have you already forgotten about Bill Clinton?

      • Wile E. Quixote

        Bill Clinton? Have they forgotten about Warren G. Harding?

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          Warren G. Harding, the best presidential porn name since Bill Clit-on

    • pdiddycornchips

      Corey Booker makes Wayne Brady look like Malcolm X.

      (stolen from the great Dave Chapelle)

      • CthuNHu

        Corey Booker makes Chuck Norris look like Don Knotts.

        Though to be fair, Chuck Norris does a pretty good job of making Chuck Norris look like Don Knotts, too.

    • Boojum

      What are we, half ready?

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      At least one from America.

    • Negropolis

      Apropos of very little, I saw PBS's Find Your Roots on Corey where it was found he is of 47% black ancestry, 45% white, and 7% Native American.

      I've always wanted to do one of those DNA test, but haven't been interested enough to shell out the money for one.

  • Lucidamente1

    I think he's now ready for a douche-off in 2013 with Governor Sammiches.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      See, both these guys are part of the "Democratic big tent." Christie, whether or not he realizes it and also, thanks to his recent performance, now in the minds of overwhelmingly blue NJ. And Booker attacked Our Prez, BarryBamz, for his "nauseating" attack on those vulture capitalists over at Bain.

    • emmelemm

      Rap battle!

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Pants off dance off! OK Christie can keep his sweat pants on.

        • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

          Being very aware of the problems of rotund Americans I can assure you the Christie cannot keep his sweatpants on while dancing.

  • snowpointsecret

    Rushing the dais? It's like March Madness but the happiness is replaced by wingnut rage.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Drudge Sirens!! "Booker Mob Turns Newark Council Meeting Into Hip Hop Ribfest: Muhammed, Baraka, Shanique, Sharif and Ramos Incite Thug Chaos"

    • Schmannnity

      It would have been nice for Malia or Sasha to have been named Baraka.

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Don't forget The Street Doctor!

    • T3rbo

      Local negroes caught coonin' around at council meeting, police called to stop break dancing, drug dealing mob! Black mayor pepper sprayed, may be delinquent on child support

      LOL@ribfest

    • kittensdontlie

      As a loyal SEIU member, I am glad to have funded this union-sponsored chaos…for the children.

    • Goonemeritus

      Newark NJ makes Detroit look like Nantucket, I actually don't know about this particular donnybrook but I don't envy the good Mayor his job. That poor city and its good people have suffered bad governance for so long they have forgotten how it works.

      • Negropolis

        Obviously, you haven't been following Detroit politics, oh, for the last five years or so. lol The city is on the actual verge of going bankrupt…a state it's been in for a year or two, now, while the city council dicks around because they want to stick it to the governor. And this is post Kwame Kilpatrick.

        I don't want to brag, but Detroit has the worse municipal politics evah.

        • Goonemeritus

          Guilty as charged, my apologies and my sympathies. I only fly through Detroit but I actually did a job in Newark rebuilding some of their light rail. I fell in love with the city and its people but it just seemed adrift and unable to do the work necessary to get everyone pulling in the same direction.

          • Negropolis

            Newark has light rail?! What snobs!

            Seriously, Michigan's Republican-controlled legislature is stalling bills that would even just allow Metro Detroit to form a regional transit authority. Currently, the only mass transit this metro of over 4 million has is two, yes, two "seperate but equal", shitty bus services. This is inspite of everyone and their mamma in the region wanting the chance to form a true regional transit system. Hell, even the Big Three auto companies came around to blessing light rail, but the fucking teabaggers don't want to pass the legislation because it inevitably require a tax increase (though, that would be voted on on a county basis) to run the new system. So much for conservatives screaming about "local control" huh?

            Newark is lucky to be nearly nextdoor to NYC or otherwise it would be Detroit, and I love this place to death but damn if the city's history didn't stop and park itself in 1967.

      • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

        No one in Detroit is interested enough in local politics to podium topple or dais storm. The city is a wreck; Kwame Kilpatrick was a crook and a bit of a thug; Dave Bing (current mayor) is ineffectual and unable to get anything done. Racist legislators in northern and western Michigan–and some right on Detroit's border–want the city to collapse to show that THOSE PEOPLE are incapable of self-government.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      OT Chet here is some Ike Qubec for you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hgpi0wZLntc&fe

    • jaytingle

      If you'd have omitted "rifest," I would have thought it was a real Drudge header. Oh. It was real.

  • dr_giraud

    Booker practices the good kind of dirty politics: He kills his opponents with votes.

  • snowpointsecret

    Laws only apply if you're not conservative, apparently.

    • flipdraw

      The comments below the NJ.com article are … uh … enlightening.

  • Schmannnity

    Governor Rick Scott wants his likeness back

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Whichever side crazy old anti-semite poet Amiri Baraka was on, I'm agin'.

    • mavenmaven

      Amiri is actually his father!

      • Doktor Zoom

        That's not true! That's IMPOSSIBLE!

        • FeloniousMonk

          That's what all you zombies think.

        • James Michael Curley

          Ras Baraka is the son of Amiri Baraka. Amiri Baraka is often best remembered by us olds as LeRoi Jones from going to Cuba in the early 1960's, the Malcolm X Assassination Days and getting arrested during the Newark Riots in 1967 as one of the 'inciters' (sometime in the past I posted about being stuck in the Induction Center in Newark because the riots started while I was getting my draft physical). He has developed a meaner streak since.

          The position is open because Council member Donald Payne ran an arduous campaign to get the nomination for his father's Congressional seat which he won two weeks ago. One of the other candidates he defeated is Ron Rice, another Newark Council member. There are other connections which I forget that make one think that Newark politics is being scripted by Quentin Tarantino.

    • James Michael Curley

      One of my co-workers in the late 80's had him for a client. When I helped her moved into her new house and away from Baraka (two doors down) he came over with a pitcher of ice tea and we sat on the steps to drink it. He was wearing a pair of shorts and the barrel of a pistol was clearly visible in the light material pockets are made from and was sticking out under the hem of the shorts. Lydia was one of the most civilized and gracious attorneys I ever knew and mentioned his poetry knowing he would insist it was no problem for him to get something to read. When is disappeared through the door she said, "Run." which we did and drove off. O didn't take her back until hours later and came back to finish the job on Sunday morning when she knew he would be in church.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        I'm having trouble following/getting the point of your story. Try again?

        • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

          He had iced tea with a time-eating Beat Poet Leroi Jones/Black revolutionary activist Amiri Baraka, a neighbor of Curley's co-worker, while helping his co-worker move, when the poet showed up with iced-tea and a hand-gun. Then they ditched him after appealing to his vanity.
          It actually beats my story of getting stoned with Gregory Corso in a broom closet with 30 other people and about ten assorted bags of weed, which ended with an annoyed Corso yelling "Fuck this shit!" and storming out.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            Ha! I was propositioned by a drunk Corso in an elevator after an Allen Ginsburg reading.

          • FeloniousMonk

            Ha! In Yorkshire we only had one Ted Hughes to proposition t' whole county!

          • Tommy1733

            Funny, same thing happened to me but with Jerome Corsi.

        • James Michael Curley

          The point was Baraka was carrying when he came over to be neighborly with a pitcher of ice tea. Though he was fairly genial my friend was experienced with his late night rants waking up neighbors to rail at some issue.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Oh, hell — you don't walk out when you're the decisive vote, councilpeople — don't you remember when the USSR walked out on the Security Council resolution to defend South Korea and got blindsided instead of vetoing any action? If y'all had participated in the Model United Nations back in high school you never would've forgotten that lesson, just sayin'.

    • BadKitty904

      We didn't do a "Model United Nations back in high school." For reasons I still don't understand (other than our teacher was crazy as dammit), we did a "Model 'Reign of Terror'". I got to be Robespierre!

      And don't you think I didn't have those triflin' aristo bastards lined *UP* at the guillotine, either…

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

        For some reason, I'm hearing Nina Simone's rendition of "Pirate Jenny."

      • GhostBuggy

        I had a middle school history teacher that made us play a semester-long game where we were divided into nations trying to colonize the world in the 16th and 17th centuries. Our academic progress translated into success or failure in the game. I got to be the Dutch!

      • FeloniousMonk

        "I got to be Robespierre!" Probably because of those sea-green eyes.

        • BadKitty904

          :0O

          Um, how did you know I have green eyes???

          • FeloniousMonk

            83.14159265358979% of all kitties have green eyes. (This number brought to you by Scarborough Ass-Derived Statistics.)

          • BadKitty904

            Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

            Dang, you freeked me out there, for a minute… ;0)

    • Toomush_Infer

      Hey! Model United Nations…..where I first got laid for walkin' out!….thanks, Wookies….

  • SexySmurf

    Donald Payne. Ha! What a silly name.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      That's the second time you've made me lol today!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    It's a good thing Dr. Bruce Banner wasn't there.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      HULK SMASH PODEEUM

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        HULK CARRY MOTION IN PIECES!!!

      • Negropolis

        HULK CALL RECESS!

      • glasspusher

        Avoiding stress isn't the secret…

  • Mahousu
    • BadKitty904

      Let's spray some on her burger and see how she likes it.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

        I'd rather spray some on her taco, if you get my drift, and I believe you will, tout-suite.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

            I like my food spicy, what can I say? (shrugs)

  • Respitetini

    He's still a Democrat I could vote for, if he decides to run for Governor against Mr. 'blame the teachers'. Runs into burning buildings, you know.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Fire vs Flood

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      Yes, he's still marginally preferable to GovernorPorkPie. But he's far from a progressive hero. Compared to him, Our Prez BarryBamz looks like a red-diaper leftie.

      • Respitetini

        My Mom retired from NJEA. Thanks to Sammiches, she was all spooked that the pension she was relying on would be gutted, because of Freedom, so she up and moved to Florida. I'd prefer Voldemort to the asshole we have now, actually.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

          Wow. Sorry to hear that, Respitetini. My mom was a teacher, too, and she retired early when her soshulist government offered teachers early retirement in exchange for lifetime free health care plus a nice big payoff that allowed her to spend her retirement years in ease and plenty. I wonder if the Repiglicans have a clue how good the citizens of soshulist nations have it. Except, of course, no Kardashians. (A blessing, in my opinion.)

    • Negropolis

      Wait, isn't Corey also Mr. Blame-the-teachers'-union, only with less spittle-inflected invective? On that front, they aren't really that different beyond style.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Ya forgot Cory's love for Bain Captal.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      Not me. I won't soon forget that he labeled Obama's well-deserved and factually accurate attack on Bain as job-killers "nauseating," and spoke up in defense of the one per cent.

  • sundaytrucker

    Considering the prize is Newark, they really should be rioting to get off the city council.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    The move was planned by Booker’s chief-of-staff, Modia Butler, to scuttle the appointment of James’ son John Sharpe James, an avowed Booker opponent

    a scuttlebutler?

    • Doktor Zoom

      ouch

    • not that Dewey

      Liberal Modia conspiracy.

    • Fuck Toad

      Thank you!

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Yay! alt text!

    • FeloniousMonk

      It was only a matter of time.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Based on that epic display of geniuz, Linda McMahon should have made a serious run at Newark Mayor. All this meeting needed was Randy Macho Savage to emerge and club Cory in the back of the head with a folding chair.

    • Biff

      But maybe not Macho Camacho.

    • Barrelhse

      She could, at least, make a serious run for the dais

  • Respitetini

    Also: Holy fuck. He was trying to stop Sharpe James's kid from getting a political appointment? Should be given a fucking medal for that.

    • James Michael Curley

      Booker and Sharpe James have been at war for over a decade – probably close to 15 years. When ever Booker runs into a burning building he tries to get James to go first.

      John Sharpe James (he recently adopted his middle name I think) was a 'head buster' for his popa's last campaign when Booker ran against him. This is the term for one of the guys who works a political campaign by going out and knocking on doors and reminding the ward how many problems they will have if they don't turn out to support his guy.

      At our state convention in 2006 I ran across Sharpe James in one of the hospitality suites. I jokingly congratulated him on being the first Newark Mayor to leave office without a perp walk in over forty years. He laughed. A year later out of office he was indicted.

  • LibrarianX

    But, was Snooki there?

    • Negropolis

      Snooki is from Schnectady; she wouldn't be caught dead in Newark. Well, if she were to be caught in Newark, it definitely be dead.

  • red_kira

    Sharpe James. Isn't there a comic book about him?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Put that bow away and marry one of these boys, Merida!

      • red_kira

        Careful. You don't want to mess with an armed redhead, Chet Kincaid. If that *is* really your name.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Don't make me launch "Temple Run: Brave Edition" on my iPhone and force you to run endlessly!

          • red_kira

            There are no – how do you say, "iPhones?" – in 13th century Scotland. Just sayin'.

        • HistoriCat

          You don't want to mess with an armed redhead

          Is anyone else as turned on as I am right now?

  • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

    I liked him better when he claimed to be Mr. T's brother and played with the MG's

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Now I can't get Hip Hug Her outta my head.

      • zippy_w_pinhead

        be glad boskolives didn't mention Rebecca Black

        • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

          *turns up Hip Hug Her in head*

          • not that Dewey

            Wow — you can do that?

  • bikerlaureate

    When Muhammad would not give way, an officer doused him with pepper spray, along with residents, reporters and at least one other officer.

    The SuperScatter omnidirectional pepper spray dispenser probably wasn't a wise choice.

    • BadKitty904

      Good thing they don't issue those guys grenades…

    • Barrelhse

      I think it means that the officer not only doused him with pepper spray, but also doused him with residents, reporters, and at least one other officer. Kind of an over reaction, I'd call it.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Grammar is hard.

      • bikerlaureate

        Heh. Once the adrenaline hits, it's hard to stop at dousing miscreants with people. I've doused 'em with furniture and fixtures before I could stop myself…

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    All that fussin' and the rent is still too damn high!

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    But, can he look back and laugh at his own foibles someday?
    Maybe he could try for a silly self-parody on SNL to stop the flow of disgruntled opinion.

    • GlowneyHouse

      If he did, hopefully it would be as good as this one.
      http://www.myspace.com/video/skippy/the-question-

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Wow, if you put this comment up without seeing mine in the Jesse Jr. thread, that's some synchronicity!

  • PopeEdgardo

    "These people belong in Newark." – Emily Latella.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

    Not even a so-obviously half-white one, huh?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    They should go to Asbury Park and get a non-partisan. There are plenty of people down there with extensive City Council experience just cold hangin around in jail, doin nothin.

  • Callyson

    Aw, crap.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

    I was going to post something stupid, like, "Is there even anything to *SAY* about this shit," but I see that nothing deters my fellow Wonketteerz.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Ladies and gentlemen, we wish to share with you a landmark. Today is the first time in Known Wonkette History when we have run TWO stories in which "having a quorum" figures prominently.

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      I love themes!

    • BadKitty904

      It's a SIGN, I tells ya!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      I herd NOBAMA was sworn in on a Quorum!!1!1!

      • Toomush_Infer

        Isn't that some Muslin word – Quorum?….

        • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Defeatably_Joe

          I think it's the Musliny word for a Minyan.

    • James Michael Curley

      Thats because you thought quorum was the name of a Tantric Sex Position.

    • StillGoinGreen

      I don't read no quorum, I read the only G-O-O-D Book and watch me some FOX NEWS. You Muslin commie heatherns can have yer Mohammy AND yer Godfersakin quorum!

      • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

        Skoalrebel, that you?

        • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

          No Skoalrebel don't need no reading. The 700 club explains it all to him.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      A quorum of silence? Now there's a film title that I could bond with.

    • http://wh.gov/XKTg C_R_Eature

      You know Who Else had several stories that featured a Quorum?

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        The Congressional Quarterly?

      • Doktor Zoom

        Dear Penthouse Quorum,

        I am writing to tell you about the most amazing thing that happened when only three of the members of the City Council showed up for the monthly budget meeting…and the other two were women.

        • emmelemm

          Oooh, you're good.

        • http://wh.gov/XKTg C_R_Eature

          A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Quorum

    • Tommy1733

      Bully, I say! Bully!

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Happy Thanksgiving Wonketteers. Take a moment to give thanks for having had Wonkette to help you give conservative American the bird.

    • BadKitty904

      Hear, hear! Well said, Weejee!

      Many thanks to our editors/editoresses for allowing us to tell the Wingtards to get stuffed.

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        I have a lot of flippin' fun here. Happy Toikey Day!

    • HistoriCat

      Every day weej, every day I give thanks for Wonkette.

      • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

        One of us. One of us.

    • http://wh.gov/XKTg C_R_Eature

      I'm thankful that I have a place to be a public jackass, exchange banter with an extraordinary group of very clever people and to yell back at a world that's gone far over the rim past the Absurd towards the Irrecoverably Insane.

      Thanks, everybody.

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    Maybe I don't get this.
    Maybe I've met and worked for too many politicians.
    Killer instinct is a good thing.
    I've seen too many good ones go down because they lacked a ruthless streak.
    And don't forget people, this is Jersey!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    See, if Booker had established his physical conditioning in an earlier scene, perhaps working a speedbag while getting a briefing from an aide, this part would be more believable.

    • HistoriCat

      A nice training montage with music would fit the bill.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Nucky Thompson would simply have given everyone a case of Irish whiskey, a Thanksgiving turkey and a flapper floozy to enjoy for the evening. Damned uppity Chalky Booker!

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Damn, that last ep was great (cringe-inducing violence!! goddamn). Can't wait for that psychopath Gyp to get his… and it's coming (probably not this season) but it'll happen.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        I don't understand why Lansky and Luciano tried to kill Gyp, and then abandoned Nucky when Gyp was clearly trying to kill them all.

      • BoroPrimorac

        I didn't want Owen Sleater dead just yet. It would've been awesome to have seen him and Richard Harrow go to war against Gyp.

    • DCBloom

      Needs moar Chalky/Omar! Srsly, BE just doesn't use him to his full potential.

  • Pithaughn

    thanks Wonkette, I really needed to rub one out!

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Voldemort or Booker?

  • docterry6973

    In the Philadelphia City Council they call this Tuesday. Amateurs.

    • Angry_Marmot

      In the Taiwanese Parliament, they call this Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.

    • Secret_Pumpkin

      Except Philly's version of that story would involve more sexytime with council staffers.

  • ericthefredd

    Sounds exactly like what I always imagined a typical city council meeting in Jersey would be like.

    Admit it, you guys imagine the same thing about our city council meetings here in Texas. Except with guns and stuff for added effect…

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I'm gonna need at least two more posts today to entertain me while I wait in this epic ferry line. Curse you parents for living on the wrong side of Puget Sound.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Seeing the parents? Good luck behaving!

    • emmelemm

      Happy Thanksgiving!

      (Where do your parents live?)

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        Sequim, where they started growing lavender to cover up the smell of old people.

        • emmelemm

          Interesting.

          Btw, do you mean the city of Sequim is growing lavender as a strategy to disguise its pervasive old people smell, or your parents specifically started growing lavender because they didn't like the old people smell?

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            Growing lavender has become an actual industry over there. It's too precious for words.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Hey, that's the world's most relaxing ferry – chill…..

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        I will not chill. I just missed the ferry by three cars. But then I let my dog take a massive dump on the ferry dock, which somehow made me feel better.

        • emmelemm

          DOGGIE!

    • BadKitty904

      Can you fish over the side? That'd pass the time, as well as provide a lil' extra for the Thanksgiving table.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        Think BSFD is likely stuck in a parking line or lot waiting to get on the ferry. Sometimes on holidays it can run to hours in the queue before you get on the boat.

        • BadKitty904

          Dang. They need more ferrys, then.

          The only ferrys we have here (and precious few we have, too) are lil' bitty 'uns that cross rivers – maybe a 5 minute trip. I'm reckoning BSFD's voyage is some longer.

          • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

            And cutting in line is a hanging offense. Blocking driveways, too, also.

          • BadKitty904

            Wow. That's some serious ferry-boarding!

          • emmelemm

            Hey, you know how they could get more ferries? TAXES!

            Yeah, ain't gonna happen.

          • BadKitty904

            If it was a choice of waiting an hour+ in line to get on a damn boat or getting to where I needed to go, I'd sure be willing to cough up some extra bucks…

          • emmelemm

            I say, I say, Son, you must be a Demmycrat.

          • BadKitty904

            Or sensible.

            Which, in the current political environment, is nigh on the same thing.

          • Doktor Zoom

            If they have more ferries, they're just going to want to get married.

          • Negropolis

            They can do that in Washington, now, right?

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          I find lines are shorter since Tim Eyman's first initiative. It also costs about twice as much. Fuck Tim Eyman.

          • emmelemm

            Skullfuck him with a chainsaw AND NOT WITH VOTES.

            Thank you.

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            Tim Eyman was teabagging way before it was cool.

          • emmelemm

            So true, so true.

          • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

            Timmie was a totes failure at flogging Balfour paddles, pins, and shit to Freddy Fraternity and Susie Sorority. So pulling a pair of raided panties from his pinhead, Eyman leveraged his intimate knowledge of failure in the service of the privileged into initiative grifting for a career. Is this a great country or what?

    • memzilla

      Where's the enterprising gentlemen with the $12 cans of beer, like we'd do it at Yanqui Estadium?

    • Barrelhse

      Sequim, the Banana Belt. Lived there and PA in the 70's.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        I was born in PA in the 70's!

        • Barrelhse

          Uh-oh.
          What color are your eyes?

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Which boat were you waiting for? I have to go to Vashon Island today.

  • IonaTrailer

    Where da white wimmens at?

  • TribecaMike

    OT, but ironies of ironies, Mitt's vote count is now at 47%.

    • not that Dewey

      In other words, Mitt was correct about the absolute percentage of people who contribute nothing to society.

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        Win.

      • BadKitty904

        Def.

      • TribecaMike

        Yup.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      So if we wait long enough it's going to be like he was never here?

  • pdiddycornchips

    In Newark, they keepz it real

  • mosjef

    Could I get a little more pepper spray on my drumstick?

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    An episode of Housewives of New Jersey? Nope, they are far better mannered.

  • docterry6973

    OT, but I messed up my tee shirt order and got an email direct from our very own Editrix. I am all a-twitter!

  • BadKitty904

    OT: I see that tomorrow is the 49th anniversary of President Kennedy's assassination.

    I remember Mama telling us about that. She was a lil' kiddo and Granny had taken Mama with her down to Ensley's Supermarket. It was announced over the store's PA and she said she'd always remember it, because it scared her – she'd never seen grown-ups cry in public before.

    • DCBloom

      My husband's birthday is tomorrow. He said it sucked because as a kid, people would always be upset. Not what a little kid wants for his birthday :(

      • BadKitty904

        (Happy Birthday to your honeybun, tho!)

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      I wuz in my high school chem class. They made the announcement, ordered the buses, and shut-down the school until after the funeral. Still have the the Life Magazine, somewhere in the house.

      • BadKitty904

        *hugs weejee*

        • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

          Thanks. I need that today.

          • BadKitty904

            :0)

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        I was in my high school electronics class and heard it all go down on a radio that someone had built as a class project. Still puts a lump in my throat even after all these years.

    • MosesInvests

      A couple of weeks ago was the 17th anniversary of the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin. Remember it like it was yesterday.

  • James Michael Curley

    Cory is going challenging this guy to go on a 'Food Stamp Diet" If this guy who started a tirade on twitter about commies who use food stamps takes the challenge all they will be able to eat for a week is what they can buy with $133. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/21/cory-boo

  • neiltheblaze

    I dunno about that. Fan fiction dies hard.

  • James Michael Curley

    Cory is going challenging this guy to go on a 'Food Stamp Diet" If this guy who started a tirade on twitter about commies who use food stamps takes the challenge all they will be able to eat for a week is what they can buy with $133.

    • shelwood46

      I think $133 is the monthly grant, not weekly. That may also be for a family, not single. Cory's planning to publish the rules he's following soon, so we'll know the exact amount he's allowing himself. BTW, saw today he got a tweet of support from chef Tom Collichio, so Cory invited Tom to try it, too. Didn't see if he accepted. (Though somehow I think maybe Cory, and definitely Tom, have better tools and appliances for home cooking than the average family on assistance.)

      • bobbert

        Yeah, $133 a week for one person doesn't sound that tricky. Actually, $133 a month for one person isn't unimaginable, although the wine selection would be pretty shit.

        $133 a month for a family of four (which is more likely the case) is fucking insane.

      • James Michael Curley

        Without looking it up since the whole process is complicated, additionally I think $133 is the amount the recipient pays, or has deducted from his Medicaid/Medicare/Disability compensation and gets $X dollars worth of benefits. This was made more complicated in NJ, at least, when states were given the authority to diminish their contribution to the total benefit amount. Too much discussion on this issue on Thanksgiving. Too many are going to end the day hungry and too many who call themselves Americans are not going to care.Happy Thanksgiving to all.I won’t be eating until around 9:00 as JMC, Jr. and I are taking a late shift at the center where dinner will be served for the homeless and disadvantaged. Two shifts are planned this year as there may be a few more people who lost their houses in Hurricane Sandy.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    But when Speight was escorted by police to be sworn in, a group of residents, led by SEIU Local 617 President Rahaman Muhammad, stormed the dais and appeared to lunge toward Speight and her grade-school-age son.

    But has the Obama administration labeled this terrorism yet? It's Benghazi times a million. Why the cover up? I just hope FOX News gets to the bottom of this.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      "Known Obama pal Corey Booker has been implicated in a very controversial and shadowy deal which involved New Jersey *blond anchorwoman facial tic* labor union activists and a young child in harm's way…"

  • zumpie

    Still more restrained and less violent and partisan than your average PTA meeting.

    • emmelemm

      Or youth soccer game.

      • zumpie

        Or parent teacher conference.

  • Doktor Zoom

    OT: You guys are gonna love the all-ponies version of William S Burroughs' Thanksgiving poem that I'm putting together for tomorrow.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      John Dillinger, is that you??!!?

    • BadKitty904

      Thank you for the warning, Dok. I knew an extra bottle or two of wine would come in handy… ;0)

    • emmelemm

      Dok, you are the shizz.

    • LibertyLover

      They shoot ponies, don't they?

    • MosesInvests

      Howza bout an all-manga babes version?

    • FeloniousMonk

      Bloody hell. I'd never heard of that before, and I'm grateful for the advance warning. Trying to make polite chit-chat shortly after being poleaxed might have been hard. Are the ponies going to play William Tell?

    • http://wh.gov/XKTg C_R_Eature

      So much for my plan to stop Drinking.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      I tremble with anticipation in my American guts.

    • bobbert

      You're on the clock, Dok.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Newark Newark
    a helluva town
    the thugs go up
    and the dais goes down
    the city's a fucking smoking
    hole in the ground
    Newark Newark
    ITS A HELL OF A TOWN!!!11!

  • irishdave3

    So the Corporate Powers That Be and their guy Cory got their way by using the "rules"

  • Doktor Zoom

    OT again, but the "Double Special" comedic podcast thing tonight, is talking about the demon rape story RIGHT NOW at http://www.comedyslamradio.com/#!double-special/c

    EDIT: Like an idiot person, I went and called in. I may have completely embarrassed myself. But they were plugging the Wonkette, so what the hey.

  • Negropolis

    I lurves me some municipal politics. The size of the crowd may be notable, but even in my city, I've seen people kick through the gate and dash toward the council before being tackled. The fine citizens of Newark are simply upholding the time-honored municipal tradition of bumrushing the dias. And, no, that's not a sexytime thing at least in this context.

    BTW, I just think this further shows that like a lot of media politicians, Booker is loved more abroad then he is at home, and you'd expect this of media mayors becaus they are charged with making the hard cuts as states cut back their funding.

    • bobbert

      Something something prophet something country something.

  • LibertyLover

    I know you guys and gals aren't a sentimental lot being snarky libtards and all, but I wanted to wish you a Happy Turkey Day! And Also give thanks that we dodged a ballistic missile in the last election. I am thankful that you have kept me sane and laughing during the long haul!
    Keep the sharp knives away from your Repubtard family during dinner, 'K?

  • Negropolis

    Sucks to the Newakrk council that couldn't get a quorom. Honestly, you can't complain when you can't even get your members to attend the meeting. I've seen this shit happen all the time. Guess what? City legislating is an actual job, and sometimes, you know, you actually have to show up regularly and miss your kid's sporting event or your bar visit.

    • shelwood46

      Actually, the council members were there. They walked out before the vote, thinking that if they were no longer there, there was no quorum and no vote could be held. However, the mayor counts toward the attendance if not enough are there, so they trotted him out from the back so the meeting could keep going and the vote could be held.

      • Negropolis

        My bad. For some reason, I thought those that walked out were the remaining members, and that a few hadn't shown up

        Either way, it sounds like Sharpe James' people didn't have the votes, so they can be mad a Booker all they want, but it's not going to flip a council member, and I say this as someone not too keen on Bookers political ideology.

        EDIT: Wait, I keep reading over the piece, and I'm still a bit confused. How many people are on the council? What it sounds like was that there was a deadlock, and a few pro-James members got up and left in protest and then Corey swoops in to provide just enough votes for a quorum, but since all of Corey's members are still there, they win the previously deadlocked session. If that's the case, why in the world did the two pro-James members walk-off? Isn't a tie vote a "no" vote like in most other councils? Now, I'm more confused. lol

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    In New Jersey we say it's not really an official council meeting until someone is thrown through a window or arrested.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I thought that was called "Chicago Style".

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Shit like that doesn't happen in the Chicago City Council. There's a big difference between the 3rd largest city and a shithole like Newark. There's been about 50 years of Pax Daley I and II, with the Council completely under the thumb of the mayor, and Rahm is continuing this proud tradition. The only times things got lively at City Hall were under Harold Washington and Jane Byrne, and since everyone here was born in 1996, you couldn't possibly have heard of them.

        • bobbert

          Ha ha ha.

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          I just thought that anything involving a Democrat was "Chicago Style" (emphasized and stated in an ominous tone).

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    I don't get it. Was there a white woman involved?

  • ttommyunger

    Sounds to me like the work of the common clay, the salt of the earth, you know – Blazing Saddles style.

    • BadKitty904

      Morons!

      • ttommyunger

        Hee, hee. Eggzackly!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    "Residents", all fully apprised of the maneuvering and all fired up, along the same lines, about an appointment, suddenly pack a city council meeting and turn it into a circus. That just had to be a fair cross-section of the public, and public opinion, in Newark.

    • Negropolis

      It's really not much of a conspiracy, though. Obviously, everyone knew that they were going to need to appoint a council person. Whether it was scheduled for that meeting, I have no idea, but Sharpe's people obviously aren't dummies.

      I also suspect since Booker has always had his detractors (didn't he lose his first mayoral race), that the regular council gadflies are always there, anyway.

  • BoroPrimorac

    Wasn't Sharpe the guy who gave Booker a hell of a time when he ran for mayor?

  • Trinket

    Meh. I'd still hit that. Twice.

  • bobbert

    I'm sure your folks will appreciate that little break once an hour. :>)

  • FrankFuror

    Ok, I'm going to be honest, I read TFA, read what was here, and I still have no clue what this is about. Can anyone from New Jersey translate it for me?

    • shelwood46

      From what I can tell, there were two candidates for the vacancy. James (son of previous mayor, enemy of current mayor) had X votes, the eventual winner had X+1. When time came to vote, though, the folks on the losing side realized that if they left, there would no longer be enough people at the meeting for the meeting to legally continue. They walked out, thinking that would end the meeting, postpone the vote and maybe give them time to maneuver more to their side.

      What they didn't know was that the mayor was in a back room, lurking in anticipation of them making this move. He only gets a vote if not enough members are in attendance for a quorum, and his presence counts toward the quorum. So Booker came out, the meeting continued and they held the vote, electing the candidate he favored.

      The opponent's supporters then lost their shit, rushed the podium, and pepperspray got deployed. So, you know, Tuesday.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Hey, Happy thanksgiving, y'all! I just want to thank you fah letten me be mice elf, again!

    • corthylio

      Happy Thanksgiving to you, and all the Wonketteers!

  • TribecaMike

    In the end, Amiri Baraka read a poem which made everyone drift off into dreamy dreams of a Maoist revolution and Jewish conspiracies.

    • corthylio

      I love a happy ending.

      • TribecaMike

        Romantic isn't it?

  • larrykat

    Crump, Abiri, Sharif, Baraka, Adubato and Ramos? Where the fuck is this all taking place again?