THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS  4:15 pm November 21, 2012

Newark Tries To Murder Cory Booker

by snipy

It was only a matter of timeAmerica, have you enjoyed your Cory Booker? He has been your American superhero, your bright shining full-of-integrity star in the awful firmament of American politics. He saves ladies from burning buildings. He has a Gosling-style tumblr dedicated to him. He scored free Hot Pockets for America, or at least for Newark. He’s just like you, if you were much better at everything and people fawned all over you on the twitters. It is with great regret, therefore, that Wonkette must inform you that Cory Booker is just another dirty politician like all the rest!

A behind-the-scenes political maneuver by Newark Mayor Cory Booker to fill a vacant council seat with his choice led to a near-riot in city hall tonight, with dozens of residents rushing the council stage and police responding with pepper-spray.

After weeks of jockeying for Rep. Donald Payne’s successor, Booker made an unprecedented personal appearance to cast the deciding vote with his council allies for Shanique Davis Speight, a longtime ally of power broker Stephen Adubato, over the angry objections of residents.

“In the absence of a quorum, I have an obligation to sit in,” Booker said, though he was barely audible over the din.

The packed city council chamber was gearing up for a showdown over the appointment as well known figures including former Mayor Sharpe James, Amiri and Amina Baraka, former Councilwoman Gayle Chaneyfield Jenkins and former Council President Donald Bradley came to back their choices.

Councilman Ras Baraka attempted to speak but was not recognized by Councilman Anibal Ramos, who was serving as acting president. Instead Ramos proceeded with the nomination of Speight.

Baraka, Councilwoman Mildred Crump, and Councilman Darrin Sharif walked off the dais in protest, and Booker came in cast the decisive vote, as laid out in state statute.

The move was planned by Booker’s chief-of-staff, Modia Butler, to scuttle the appointment of James’ son John Sharpe James, an avowed Booker opponent, in favor of Speight. Butler had the mayor at the ready in case of a tie or if there was no quorum.

That was a thrilling  blow-by-blow account of inside-baseball Roberts’ Rules usage, wasn’t it? All you need to know is that Cory Booker used New Jersey state statutes to get his way. QUEL HORREUR! The good people of Newark did not appreciate Mr. Booker’s law-abidin’ procedural maneuverin’, however. Newark residents, in conjunction with union thugz, rushed the stage and lunged at the Booker’s new council crony, Shanique Davis Speight.

After the vote, residents stood chanting “Cory’s gotta go!” as officials shouted over the confusion.

But when Speight was escorted by police to be sworn in, a group of residents, led by SEIU Local 617 President Rahaman Muhammad, stormed the dais and appeared to lunge toward Speight and her grade-school-age son.

Police restrained the group as they toppled a podium and residents were caught in the rush. When Muhammad would not give way, an officer doused him with pepper spray, along with residents, reporters and at least one other officer.

People of Newark, we expect you to now lunge, podium-topple, and dais-storm at every minor city council happening in your fair city. The bar has been set high. The rest of America, we hope you enjoyed your brief flirtation with hope and have now ceased writing Cory Booker 2016 fan fiction.

[New Jersey Star-Ledger]

 
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{ 279 comments }

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I dunno. He's still pretty damn cute. ;0)~

Plus what's up with Newark Councilfolk names???

CommieDad November 21, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I'd sleep with him.

kittensdontlie November 21, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I hate to use a billoism, but those are not traditional American names.

Jukesgrrl November 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Are youse sayin' their tea is FUCKIN' iced tea?

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:41 pm

That's "motherfuckin' iced tea," if you please. We must be faithful to the original.

StillGoinGreen November 21, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Once again, it's "muhfuckin"!

Lascauxcaveman November 21, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Pepper spray? Where do these cops think they are? Some college campus in California?

Also, those council chambers are gonna smell nice for a looong time.

mrpuma2u November 21, 2012 at 4:19 pm

So it's nepotism vs cronyism? Hooray for democracy!

weejee November 21, 2012 at 4:25 pm

But if you crossbred the two, wouldn't you get neponyism?

Doktor Zoom weeps.

therealtinlizzy November 21, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I prefer the term ponycornism.

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

cornponism

SorosBot November 21, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Doublepostism?

therealtinlizzy November 21, 2012 at 4:34 pm

or perhaps pornycronism.

SorosBot November 21, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Doublepostism?

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 4:51 pm

c'mon–everyone knows that ponycornism and pornycronism are not the same thing!

mrpuma2u November 21, 2012 at 5:26 pm

It has porn in it, so I like this one best. Anyone know if there is video of this "democracy in tumultuous action" action?

SorosBot November 21, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Everyone's a superhero, everyone's a Captain Kirk…

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 4:24 pm

With orders to identify? To clarify, and classify?

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:42 pm

(pulls out tap shoes, hat, and cane)

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 5:03 pm

You're puttin' on the ritz?

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Please don't call a cop!
Be-bop, I love you, be-bop!

boskolives November 21, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I guess it's a bad day to be wearing a red shirt huh?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 22, 2012 at 3:51 am

I guess I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue.

flipdraw November 22, 2012 at 10:09 am

And amphetamines

Come here a minute November 21, 2012 at 4:22 pm

People of Newark, keep this up and Cory Booker stops saving your lives.

AlterNewt November 21, 2012 at 4:22 pm

"The rest of America, we hope you enjoyed your brief flirtation with hope and have now ceased writing Cory Booker 2016 fan fiction."

Well, America isn't really ready for a black man in the White House, anyway.

boskolives November 21, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Have you already forgotten about Bill Clinton?

Wile E. Quixote November 23, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Bill Clinton? Have they forgotten about Warren G. Harding?

boskolives November 23, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Warren G. Harding, the best presidential porn name since Bill Clit-on

pdiddycornchips November 21, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Corey Booker makes Wayne Brady look like Malcolm X.

(stolen from the great Dave Chapelle)

CthuNHu November 22, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Corey Booker makes Chuck Norris look like Don Knotts.

Though to be fair, Chuck Norris does a pretty good job of making Chuck Norris look like Don Knotts, too.

Boojum November 21, 2012 at 8:39 pm

What are we, half ready?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 22, 2012 at 3:49 am

At least one from America.

Negropolis November 22, 2012 at 4:42 am

Apropos of very little, I saw PBS's Find Your Roots on Corey where it was found he is of 47% black ancestry, 45% white, and 7% Native American.

I've always wanted to do one of those DNA test, but haven't been interested enough to shell out the money for one.

Lucidamente1 November 21, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I think he's now ready for a douche-off in 2013 with Governor Sammiches.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:44 pm

See, both these guys are part of the "Democratic big tent." Christie, whether or not he realizes it and also, thanks to his recent performance, now in the minds of overwhelmingly blue NJ. And Booker attacked Our Prez, BarryBamz, for his "nauseating" attack on those vulture capitalists over at Bain.

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Rap battle!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 21, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Pants off dance off! OK Christie can keep his sweat pants on.

trampndirtdown November 21, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Being very aware of the problems of rotund Americans I can assure you the Christie cannot keep his sweatpants on while dancing.

snowpointsecret November 21, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Rushing the dais? It's like March Madness but the happiness is replaced by wingnut rage.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Drudge Sirens!! "Booker Mob Turns Newark Council Meeting Into Hip Hop Ribfest: Muhammed, Baraka, Shanique, Sharif and Ramos Incite Thug Chaos"

Schmannnity November 21, 2012 at 4:33 pm

It would have been nice for Malia or Sasha to have been named Baraka.

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Don't forget The Street Doctor!

T3rbo November 21, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Local negroes caught coonin' around at council meeting, police called to stop break dancing, drug dealing mob! Black mayor pepper sprayed, may be delinquent on child support

LOL@ribfest

kittensdontlie November 21, 2012 at 5:13 pm

As a loyal SEIU member, I am glad to have funded this union-sponsored chaos…for the children.

Goonemeritus November 21, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Newark NJ makes Detroit look like Nantucket, I actually don't know about this particular donnybrook but I don't envy the good Mayor his job. That poor city and its good people have suffered bad governance for so long they have forgotten how it works.

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Obviously, you haven't been following Detroit politics, oh, for the last five years or so. lol The city is on the actual verge of going bankrupt…a state it's been in for a year or two, now, while the city council dicks around because they want to stick it to the governor. And this is post Kwame Kilpatrick.

I don't want to brag, but Detroit has the worse municipal politics evah.

Goonemeritus November 21, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Guilty as charged, my apologies and my sympathies. I only fly through Detroit but I actually did a job in Newark rebuilding some of their light rail. I fell in love with the city and its people but it just seemed adrift and unable to do the work necessary to get everyone pulling in the same direction.

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Newark has light rail?! What snobs!

Seriously, Michigan's Republican-controlled legislature is stalling bills that would even just allow Metro Detroit to form a regional transit authority. Currently, the only mass transit this metro of over 4 million has is two, yes, two "seperate but equal", shitty bus services. This is inspite of everyone and their mamma in the region wanting the chance to form a true regional transit system. Hell, even the Big Three auto companies came around to blessing light rail, but the fucking teabaggers don't want to pass the legislation because it inevitably require a tax increase (though, that would be voted on on a county basis) to run the new system. So much for conservatives screaming about "local control" huh?

Newark is lucky to be nearly nextdoor to NYC or otherwise it would be Detroit, and I love this place to death but damn if the city's history didn't stop and park itself in 1967.

Chow Yun Flat November 21, 2012 at 10:33 pm

No one in Detroit is interested enough in local politics to podium topple or dais storm. The city is a wreck; Kwame Kilpatrick was a crook and a bit of a thug; Dave Bing (current mayor) is ineffectual and unable to get anything done. Racist legislators in northern and western Michigan–and some right on Detroit's border–want the city to collapse to show that THOSE PEOPLE are incapable of self-government.

trampndirtdown November 21, 2012 at 10:30 pm

OT Chet here is some Ike Qubec for you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hgpi0wZLntc&fe

jaytingle November 22, 2012 at 6:59 am

If you'd have omitted "rifest," I would have thought it was a real Drudge header. Oh. It was real.

dr_giraud November 21, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Booker practices the good kind of dirty politics: He kills his opponents with votes.

snowpointsecret November 21, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Laws only apply if you're not conservative, apparently.

flipdraw November 22, 2012 at 10:10 am

The comments below the NJ.com article are … uh … enlightening.

Schmannnity November 21, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Governor Rick Scott wants his likeness back

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Whichever side crazy old anti-semite poet Amiri Baraka was on, I'm agin'.

mavenmaven November 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Amiri is actually his father!

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 6:33 pm

That's not true! That's IMPOSSIBLE!

FeloniousMonk November 21, 2012 at 6:56 pm

That's what all you zombies think.

James Michael Curley November 21, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Ras Baraka is the son of Amiri Baraka. Amiri Baraka is often best remembered by us olds as LeRoi Jones from going to Cuba in the early 1960's, the Malcolm X Assassination Days and getting arrested during the Newark Riots in 1967 as one of the 'inciters' (sometime in the past I posted about being stuck in the Induction Center in Newark because the riots started while I was getting my draft physical). He has developed a meaner streak since.

The position is open because Council member Donald Payne ran an arduous campaign to get the nomination for his father's Congressional seat which he won two weeks ago. One of the other candidates he defeated is Ron Rice, another Newark Council member. There are other connections which I forget that make one think that Newark politics is being scripted by Quentin Tarantino.

James Michael Curley November 21, 2012 at 7:29 pm

One of my co-workers in the late 80's had him for a client. When I helped her moved into her new house and away from Baraka (two doors down) he came over with a pitcher of ice tea and we sat on the steps to drink it. He was wearing a pair of shorts and the barrel of a pistol was clearly visible in the light material pockets are made from and was sticking out under the hem of the shorts. Lydia was one of the most civilized and gracious attorneys I ever knew and mentioned his poetry knowing he would insist it was no problem for him to get something to read. When is disappeared through the door she said, "Run." which we did and drove off. O didn't take her back until hours later and came back to finish the job on Sunday morning when she knew he would be in church.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 8:33 pm

I'm having trouble following/getting the point of your story. Try again?

MilwaukeeKent November 21, 2012 at 9:12 pm

He had iced tea with a time-eating Beat Poet Leroi Jones/Black revolutionary activist Amiri Baraka, a neighbor of Curley's co-worker, while helping his co-worker move, when the poet showed up with iced-tea and a hand-gun. Then they ditched him after appealing to his vanity.
It actually beats my story of getting stoned with Gregory Corso in a broom closet with 30 other people and about ten assorted bags of weed, which ended with an annoyed Corso yelling "Fuck this shit!" and storming out.

starfanglednut November 21, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Ha! I was propositioned by a drunk Corso in an elevator after an Allen Ginsburg reading.

Tommy1733 November 22, 2012 at 9:25 am

Funny, same thing happened to me but with Jerome Corsi.

James Michael Curley November 22, 2012 at 11:01 am

The point was Baraka was carrying when he came over to be neighborly with a pitcher of ice tea. Though he was fairly genial my friend was experienced with his late night rants waking up neighbors to rail at some issue.

SayItWithWookies November 21, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Oh, hell — you don't walk out when you're the decisive vote, councilpeople — don't you remember when the USSR walked out on the Security Council resolution to defend South Korea and got blindsided instead of vetoing any action? If y'all had participated in the Model United Nations back in high school you never would've forgotten that lesson, just sayin'.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

We didn't do a "Model United Nations back in high school." For reasons I still don't understand (other than our teacher was crazy as dammit), we did a "Model 'Reign of Terror'". I got to be Robespierre!

And don't you think I didn't have those triflin' aristo bastards lined *UP* at the guillotine, either…

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:46 pm

For some reason, I'm hearing Nina Simone's rendition of "Pirate Jenny."

GhostBuggy November 21, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I had a middle school history teacher that made us play a semester-long game where we were divided into nations trying to colonize the world in the 16th and 17th centuries. Our academic progress translated into success or failure in the game. I got to be the Dutch!

FeloniousMonk November 21, 2012 at 7:25 pm

"I got to be Robespierre!" Probably because of those sea-green eyes.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 7:32 pm

:0O

Um, how did you know I have green eyes???

FeloniousMonk November 21, 2012 at 7:51 pm

83.14159265358979% of all kitties have green eyes. (This number brought to you by Scarborough Ass-Derived Statistics.)

Toomush_Infer November 21, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Hey! Model United Nations…..where I first got laid for walkin' out!….thanks, Wookies….

SexySmurf November 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Donald Payne. Ha! What a silly name.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 5:39 pm

That's the second time you've made me lol today!

Sharkey November 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

It's a good thing Dr. Bruce Banner wasn't there.

Sharkey November 21, 2012 at 4:29 pm

HULK SMASH PODEEUM

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 4:51 pm

HULK CARRY MOTION IN PIECES!!!

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 8:55 pm

HULK CALL RECESS!

glasspusher November 21, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Avoiding stress isn't the secret…

Mahousu November 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Megyn doesn't see what the big deal with the pepper spray is. It's just a food product, after all.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Let's spray some on her burger and see how she likes it.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:46 pm

I'd rather spray some on her taco, if you get my drift, and I believe you will, tout-suite.

starfanglednut November 21, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weedlord BonerHitler November 22, 2012 at 1:11 am

I like my food spicy, what can I say? (shrugs)

Respitetini November 21, 2012 at 4:28 pm

He's still a Democrat I could vote for, if he decides to run for Governor against Mr. 'blame the teachers'. Runs into burning buildings, you know.

Jukesgrrl November 21, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Fire vs Flood

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Yes, he's still marginally preferable to GovernorPorkPie. But he's far from a progressive hero. Compared to him, Our Prez BarryBamz looks like a red-diaper leftie.

Respitetini November 21, 2012 at 5:23 pm

My Mom retired from NJEA. Thanks to Sammiches, she was all spooked that the pension she was relying on would be gutted, because of Freedom, so she up and moved to Florida. I'd prefer Voldemort to the asshole we have now, actually.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Wow. Sorry to hear that, Respitetini. My mom was a teacher, too, and she retired early when her soshulist government offered teachers early retirement in exchange for lifetime free health care plus a nice big payoff that allowed her to spend her retirement years in ease and plenty. I wonder if the Repiglicans have a clue how good the citizens of soshulist nations have it. Except, of course, no Kardashians. (A blessing, in my opinion.)

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Wait, isn't Corey also Mr. Blame-the-teachers'-union, only with less spittle-inflected invective? On that front, they aren't really that different beyond style.

Blueb4sinrise November 21, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Ya forgot Cory's love for Bain Captal.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Not me. I won't soon forget that he labeled Obama's well-deserved and factually accurate attack on Bain as job-killers "nauseating," and spoke up in defense of the one per cent.

sundaytrucker November 21, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Considering the prize is Newark, they really should be rioting to get off the city council.

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 4:29 pm

The move was planned by Booker’s chief-of-staff, Modia Butler, to scuttle the appointment of James’ son John Sharpe James, an avowed Booker opponent

a scuttlebutler?

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 4:51 pm

ouch

not that Dewey November 21, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Liberal Modia conspiracy.

Fuck Toad November 22, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Thank you!

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Yay! alt text!

FeloniousMonk November 21, 2012 at 8:27 pm

It was only a matter of time.

ManchuCandidate November 21, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Based on that epic display of geniuz, Linda McMahon should have made a serious run at Newark Mayor. All this meeting needed was Randy Macho Savage to emerge and club Cory in the back of the head with a folding chair.

Biff November 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm

But maybe not Macho Camacho.

Barrelhse November 21, 2012 at 8:25 pm

She could, at least, make a serious run for the dais

Respitetini November 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Also: Holy fuck. He was trying to stop Sharpe James's kid from getting a political appointment? Should be given a fucking medal for that.

James Michael Curley November 21, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Booker and Sharpe James have been at war for over a decade – probably close to 15 years. When ever Booker runs into a burning building he tries to get James to go first.

John Sharpe James (he recently adopted his middle name I think) was a 'head buster' for his popa's last campaign when Booker ran against him. This is the term for one of the guys who works a political campaign by going out and knocking on doors and reminding the ward how many problems they will have if they don't turn out to support his guy.

At our state convention in 2006 I ran across Sharpe James in one of the hospitality suites. I jokingly congratulated him on being the first Newark Mayor to leave office without a perp walk in over forty years. He laughed. A year later out of office he was indicted.

LibrarianX November 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

But, was Snooki there?

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Snooki is from Schnectady; she wouldn't be caught dead in Newark. Well, if she were to be caught in Newark, it definitely be dead.

red_kira November 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Sharpe James. Isn't there a comic book about him?

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Put that bow away and marry one of these boys, Merida!

red_kira November 21, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Careful. You don't want to mess with an armed redhead, Chet Kincaid. If that *is* really your name.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Don't make me launch "Temple Run: Brave Edition" on my iPhone and force you to run endlessly!

red_kira November 21, 2012 at 4:46 pm

There are no – how do you say, "iPhones?" – in 13th century Scotland. Just sayin'.

HistoriCat November 21, 2012 at 5:27 pm

You don't want to mess with an armed redhead

Is anyone else as turned on as I am right now?

Toomush_Infer November 21, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Yes! and yes….

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Fine, just don't get anything on it!! http://www.digitaldreamdesigns.com/CGCpics/RedSon

boskolives November 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I liked him better when he claimed to be Mr. T's brother and played with the MG's

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Now I can't get Hip Hug Her outta my head.

zippy_w_pinhead November 21, 2012 at 4:55 pm

be glad boskolives didn't mention Rebecca Black

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 5:08 pm

*turns up Hip Hug Her in head*

not that Dewey November 21, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Wow — you can do that?

bikerlaureate November 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm

When Muhammad would not give way, an officer doused him with pepper spray, along with residents, reporters and at least one other officer.

The SuperScatter omnidirectional pepper spray dispenser probably wasn't a wise choice.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Good thing they don't issue those guys grenades…

Barrelhse November 21, 2012 at 8:30 pm

I think it means that the officer not only doused him with pepper spray, but also doused him with residents, reporters, and at least one other officer. Kind of an over reaction, I'd call it.

starfanglednut November 21, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Grammar is hard.

bikerlaureate November 22, 2012 at 11:09 am

Heh. Once the adrenaline hits, it's hard to stop at dousing miscreants with people. I've doused 'em with furniture and fixtures before I could stop myself…

Jukesgrrl November 21, 2012 at 4:37 pm

All that fussin' and the rent is still too damn high!

Mumbletypeg November 21, 2012 at 4:37 pm

But, can he look back and laugh at his own foibles someday?
Maybe he could try for a silly self-parody on SNL to stop the flow of disgruntled opinion.

GlowneyHouse November 21, 2012 at 5:37 pm

If he did, hopefully it would be as good as this one.
http://www.myspace.com/video/skippy/the-question-

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Wow, if you put this comment up without seeing mine in the Jesse Jr. thread, that's some synchronicity!

PopeEdgardo November 21, 2012 at 4:40 pm

"These people belong in Newark." – Emily Latella.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Not even a so-obviously half-white one, huh?

Jukesgrrl November 21, 2012 at 4:44 pm

They should go to Asbury Park and get a non-partisan. There are plenty of people down there with extensive City Council experience just cold hangin around in jail, doin nothin.

Callyson November 21, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Aw, crap.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I was going to post something stupid, like, "Is there even anything to *SAY* about this shit," but I see that nothing deters my fellow Wonketteerz.

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Ladies and gentlemen, we wish to share with you a landmark. Today is the first time in Known Wonkette History when we have run TWO stories in which "having a quorum" figures prominently.

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 4:56 pm

I love themes!

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 4:59 pm

It's a SIGN, I tells ya!

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 5:01 pm

I herd NOBAMA was sworn in on a Quorum!!1!1!

Toomush_Infer November 21, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Isn't that some Muslin word – Quorum?….

Defeatably_Joe November 21, 2012 at 6:26 pm

I think it's the Musliny word for a Minyan.

James Michael Curley November 21, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Thats because you thought quorum was the name of a Tantric Sex Position.

StillGoinGreen November 21, 2012 at 7:50 pm

I don't read no quorum, I read the only G-O-O-D Book and watch me some FOX NEWS. You Muslin commie heatherns can have yer Mohammy AND yer Godfersakin quorum!

Sharkey November 21, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Skoalrebel, that you?

trampndirtdown November 21, 2012 at 10:42 pm

No Skoalrebel don't need no reading. The 700 club explains it all to him.

boskolives November 21, 2012 at 9:09 pm

A quorum of silence? Now there's a film title that I could bond with.

C_R_Eature November 21, 2012 at 9:32 pm

You know Who Else had several stories that featured a Quorum?

trampndirtdown November 21, 2012 at 10:47 pm

The Congressional Quarterly?

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Dear Penthouse Quorum,

I am writing to tell you about the most amazing thing that happened when only three of the members of the City Council showed up for the monthly budget meeting…and the other two were women.

emmelemm November 22, 2012 at 3:12 am

Oooh, you're good.

C_R_Eature November 22, 2012 at 5:30 am

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Quorum

Tommy1733 November 22, 2012 at 9:27 am

Bully, I say! Bully!

weejee November 21, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Happy Thanksgiving Wonketteers. Take a moment to give thanks for having had Wonkette to help you give conservative American the bird.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Hear, hear! Well said, Weejee!

Many thanks to our editors/editoresses for allowing us to tell the Wingtards to get stuffed.

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I have a lot of flippin' fun here. Happy Toikey Day!

HistoriCat November 21, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Every day weej, every day I give thanks for Wonkette.

Sharkey November 21, 2012 at 8:07 pm

One of us. One of us.

C_R_Eature November 21, 2012 at 9:45 pm

I'm thankful that I have a place to be a public jackass, exchange banter with an extraordinary group of very clever people and to yell back at a world that's gone far over the rim past the Absurd towards the Irrecoverably Insane.

Thanks, everybody.

DemmeFatale November 21, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Maybe I don't get this.
Maybe I've met and worked for too many politicians.
Killer instinct is a good thing.
I've seen too many good ones go down because they lacked a ruthless streak.
And don't forget people, this is Jersey!

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 5:10 pm

See, if Booker had established his physical conditioning in an earlier scene, perhaps working a speedbag while getting a briefing from an aide, this part would be more believable.

HistoriCat November 21, 2012 at 11:45 pm

A nice training montage with music would fit the bill.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Nucky Thompson would simply have given everyone a case of Irish whiskey, a Thanksgiving turkey and a flapper floozy to enjoy for the evening. Damned uppity Chalky Booker!

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Damn, that last ep was great (cringe-inducing violence!! goddamn). Can't wait for that psychopath Gyp to get his… and it's coming (probably not this season) but it'll happen.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 5:47 pm

I don't understand why Lansky and Luciano tried to kill Gyp, and then abandoned Nucky when Gyp was clearly trying to kill them all.

BoroPrimorac November 22, 2012 at 12:08 am

I didn't want Owen Sleater dead just yet. It would've been awesome to have seen him and Richard Harrow go to war against Gyp.

DCBloom November 21, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Needs moar Chalky/Omar! Srsly, BE just doesn't use him to his full potential.

Pithaughn November 21, 2012 at 5:21 pm

thanks Wonkette, I really needed to rub one out!

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Voldemort or Booker?

docterry6973 November 21, 2012 at 5:27 pm

In the Philadelphia City Council they call this Tuesday. Amateurs.

Angry_Marmot November 21, 2012 at 9:41 pm

In the Taiwanese Parliament, they call this Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.

Secret_Pumpkin November 22, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Except Philly's version of that story would involve more sexytime with council staffers.

ericthefredd November 21, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Sounds exactly like what I always imagined a typical city council meeting in Jersey would be like.

Admit it, you guys imagine the same thing about our city council meetings here in Texas. Except with guns and stuff for added effect…

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 21, 2012 at 5:34 pm

I'm gonna need at least two more posts today to entertain me while I wait in this epic ferry line. Curse you parents for living on the wrong side of Puget Sound.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Seeing the parents? Good luck behaving!

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Happy Thanksgiving!

(Where do your parents live?)

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 21, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Sequim, where they started growing lavender to cover up the smell of old people.

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Interesting.

Btw, do you mean the city of Sequim is growing lavender as a strategy to disguise its pervasive old people smell, or your parents specifically started growing lavender because they didn't like the old people smell?

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 21, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Growing lavender has become an actual industry over there. It's too precious for words.

Toomush_Infer November 21, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Hey, that's the world's most relaxing ferry – chill…..

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 21, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I will not chill. I just missed the ferry by three cars. But then I let my dog take a massive dump on the ferry dock, which somehow made me feel better.

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 7:22 pm

DOGGIE!

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Can you fish over the side? That'd pass the time, as well as provide a lil' extra for the Thanksgiving table.

weejee November 21, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Think BSFD is likely stuck in a parking line or lot waiting to get on the ferry. Sometimes on holidays it can run to hours in the queue before you get on the boat.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Dang. They need more ferrys, then.

The only ferrys we have here (and precious few we have, too) are lil' bitty 'uns that cross rivers – maybe a 5 minute trip. I'm reckoning BSFD's voyage is some longer.

weejee November 21, 2012 at 6:41 pm

And cutting in line is a hanging offense. Blocking driveways, too, also.

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Hey, you know how they could get more ferries? TAXES!

Yeah, ain't gonna happen.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 21, 2012 at 6:53 pm

I find lines are shorter since Tim Eyman's first initiative. It also costs about twice as much. Fuck Tim Eyman.

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Skullfuck him with a chainsaw AND NOT WITH VOTES.

Thank you.

memzilla November 21, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Where's the enterprising gentlemen with the $12 cans of beer, like we'd do it at Yanqui Estadium?

Barrelhse November 21, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Sequim, the Banana Belt. Lived there and PA in the 70's.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 22, 2012 at 1:47 pm

I was born in PA in the 70's!

Barrelhse November 22, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Uh-oh.
What color are your eyes?

Wile E. Quixote November 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Which boat were you waiting for? I have to go to Vashon Island today.

IonaTrailer November 21, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Where da white wimmens at?

TribecaMike November 21, 2012 at 5:54 pm

OT, but ironies of ironies, Mitt's vote count is now at 47%.

not that Dewey November 21, 2012 at 6:13 pm

In other words, Mitt was correct about the absolute percentage of people who contribute nothing to society.

Mumbletypeg November 21, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Win.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Def.

TribecaMike November 21, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Yup.

boskolives November 21, 2012 at 9:16 pm

So if we wait long enough it's going to be like he was never here?

pdiddycornchips November 21, 2012 at 6:02 pm

In Newark, they keepz it real

mosjef November 21, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Could I get a little more pepper spray on my drumstick?

BZ1 November 21, 2012 at 6:19 pm

An episode of Housewives of New Jersey? Nope, they are far better mannered.

docterry6973 November 21, 2012 at 6:39 pm

OT, but I messed up my tee shirt order and got an email direct from our very own Editrix. I am all a-twitter!

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 6:44 pm

OT: I see that tomorrow is the 49th anniversary of President Kennedy's assassination.

I remember Mama telling us about that. She was a lil' kiddo and Granny had taken Mama with her down to Ensley's Supermarket. It was announced over the store's PA and she said she'd always remember it, because it scared her – she'd never seen grown-ups cry in public before.

DCBloom November 21, 2012 at 7:54 pm

My husband's birthday is tomorrow. He said it sucked because as a kid, people would always be upset. Not what a little kid wants for his birthday :(

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 8:12 pm

(Happy Birthday to your honeybun, tho!)

weejee November 21, 2012 at 7:59 pm

I wuz in my high school chem class. They made the announcement, ordered the buses, and shut-down the school until after the funeral. Still have the the Life Magazine, somewhere in the house.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 8:07 pm

*hugs weejee*

weejee November 21, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Thanks. I need that today.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 8:21 pm

:0)

boskolives November 21, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I was in my high school electronics class and heard it all go down on a radio that someone had built as a class project. Still puts a lump in my throat even after all these years.

MosesInvests November 21, 2012 at 11:34 pm

A couple of weeks ago was the 17th anniversary of the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin. Remember it like it was yesterday.

James Michael Curley November 21, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Cory is going challenging this guy to go on a 'Food Stamp Diet" If this guy who started a tirade on twitter about commies who use food stamps takes the challenge all they will be able to eat for a week is what they can buy with $133. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/21/cory-boo

neiltheblaze November 21, 2012 at 6:46 pm

I dunno about that. Fan fiction dies hard.

James Michael Curley November 21, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Cory is going challenging this guy to go on a 'Food Stamp Diet" If this guy who started a tirade on twitter about commies who use food stamps takes the challenge all they will be able to eat for a week is what they can buy with $133.

shelwood46 November 22, 2012 at 1:59 am

I think $133 is the monthly grant, not weekly. That may also be for a family, not single. Cory's planning to publish the rules he's following soon, so we'll know the exact amount he's allowing himself. BTW, saw today he got a tweet of support from chef Tom Collichio, so Cory invited Tom to try it, too. Didn't see if he accepted. (Though somehow I think maybe Cory, and definitely Tom, have better tools and appliances for home cooking than the average family on assistance.)

bobbert November 22, 2012 at 2:19 am

Yeah, $133 a week for one person doesn't sound that tricky. Actually, $133 a month for one person isn't unimaginable, although the wine selection would be pretty shit.

$133 a month for a family of four (which is more likely the case) is fucking insane.

James Michael Curley November 22, 2012 at 10:51 am

Without looking it up since the whole process is complicated, additionally I think $133 is the amount the recipient pays, or has deducted from his Medicaid/Medicare/Disability compensation and gets $X dollars worth of benefits. This was made more complicated in NJ, at least, when states were given the authority to diminish their contribution to the total benefit amount. Too much discussion on this issue on Thanksgiving. Too many are going to end the day hungry and too many who call themselves Americans are not going to care.Happy Thanksgiving to all.I won’t be eating until around 9:00 as JMC, Jr. and I are taking a late shift at the center where dinner will be served for the homeless and disadvantaged. Two shifts are planned this year as there may be a few more people who lost their houses in Hurricane Sandy.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 21, 2012 at 6:54 pm

But when Speight was escorted by police to be sworn in, a group of residents, led by SEIU Local 617 President Rahaman Muhammad, stormed the dais and appeared to lunge toward Speight and her grade-school-age son.

But has the Obama administration labeled this terrorism yet? It's Benghazi times a million. Why the cover up? I just hope FOX News gets to the bottom of this.

Designer_Rants November 21, 2012 at 10:43 pm

"Known Obama pal Corey Booker has been implicated in a very controversial and shadowy deal which involved New Jersey *blond anchorwoman facial tic* labor union activists and a young child in harm's way…"

zumpie November 21, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Still more restrained and less violent and partisan than your average PTA meeting.

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Or youth soccer game.

zumpie November 21, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Or parent teacher conference.

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 8:01 pm

OT: You guys are gonna love the all-ponies version of William S Burroughs' Thanksgiving poem that I'm putting together for tomorrow.

weejee November 21, 2012 at 8:14 pm

John Dillinger, is that you??!!?

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Thank you for the warning, Dok. I knew an extra bottle or two of wine would come in handy… ;0)

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Dok, you are the shizz.

LibertyLover November 21, 2012 at 8:45 pm

They shoot ponies, don't they?

MosesInvests November 21, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Howza bout an all-manga babes version?

FeloniousMonk November 21, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Bloody hell. I'd never heard of that before, and I'm grateful for the advance warning. Trying to make polite chit-chat shortly after being poleaxed might have been hard. Are the ponies going to play William Tell?

C_R_Eature November 22, 2012 at 12:00 am

So much for my plan to stop Drinking.

trampndirtdown November 22, 2012 at 12:00 am

I tremble with anticipation in my American guts.

bobbert November 22, 2012 at 1:40 am

You're on the clock, Dok.

mrblifil November 21, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Newark Newark
a helluva town
the thugs go up
and the dais goes down
the city's a fucking smoking
hole in the ground
Newark Newark
ITS A HELL OF A TOWN!!!11!

irishdave3 November 21, 2012 at 8:31 pm

So the Corporate Powers That Be and their guy Cory got their way by using the "rules"

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 8:38 pm

OT again, but the "Double Special" comedic podcast thing tonight, is talking about the demon rape story RIGHT NOW at http://www.comedyslamradio.com/#!double-special/c

EDIT: Like an idiot person, I went and called in. I may have completely embarrassed myself. But they were plugging the Wonkette, so what the hey.

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 8:38 pm

I lurves me some municipal politics. The size of the crowd may be notable, but even in my city, I've seen people kick through the gate and dash toward the council before being tackled. The fine citizens of Newark are simply upholding the time-honored municipal tradition of bumrushing the dias. And, no, that's not a sexytime thing at least in this context.

BTW, I just think this further shows that like a lot of media politicians, Booker is loved more abroad then he is at home, and you'd expect this of media mayors becaus they are charged with making the hard cuts as states cut back their funding.

bobbert November 22, 2012 at 1:42 am

Something something prophet something country something.

LibertyLover November 21, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I know you guys and gals aren't a sentimental lot being snarky libtards and all, but I wanted to wish you a Happy Turkey Day! And Also give thanks that we dodged a ballistic missile in the last election. I am thankful that you have kept me sane and laughing during the long haul!
Keep the sharp knives away from your Repubtard family during dinner, 'K?

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Sucks to the Newakrk council that couldn't get a quorom. Honestly, you can't complain when you can't even get your members to attend the meeting. I've seen this shit happen all the time. Guess what? City legislating is an actual job, and sometimes, you know, you actually have to show up regularly and miss your kid's sporting event or your bar visit.

shelwood46 November 22, 2012 at 2:17 am

Actually, the council members were there. They walked out before the vote, thinking that if they were no longer there, there was no quorum and no vote could be held. However, the mayor counts toward the attendance if not enough are there, so they trotted him out from the back so the meeting could keep going and the vote could be held.

Negropolis November 22, 2012 at 2:41 am

My bad. For some reason, I thought those that walked out were the remaining members, and that a few hadn't shown up

Either way, it sounds like Sharpe James' people didn't have the votes, so they can be mad a Booker all they want, but it's not going to flip a council member, and I say this as someone not too keen on Bookers political ideology.

EDIT: Wait, I keep reading over the piece, and I'm still a bit confused. How many people are on the council? What it sounds like was that there was a deadlock, and a few pro-James members got up and left in protest and then Corey swoops in to provide just enough votes for a quorum, but since all of Corey's members are still there, they win the previously deadlocked session. If that's the case, why in the world did the two pro-James members walk-off? Isn't a tie vote a "no" vote like in most other councils? Now, I'm more confused. lol

johnnyzhivago November 21, 2012 at 9:58 pm

In New Jersey we say it's not really an official council meeting until someone is thrown through a window or arrested.

Designer_Rants November 21, 2012 at 10:44 pm

I thought that was called "Chicago Style".

Chet Kincaid_ November 22, 2012 at 1:55 am

Shit like that doesn't happen in the Chicago City Council. There's a big difference between the 3rd largest city and a shithole like Newark. There's been about 50 years of Pax Daley I and II, with the Council completely under the thumb of the mayor, and Rahm is continuing this proud tradition. The only times things got lively at City Hall were under Harold Washington and Jane Byrne, and since everyone here was born in 1996, you couldn't possibly have heard of them.

bobbert November 22, 2012 at 2:20 am

Ha ha ha.

Designer_Rants November 22, 2012 at 8:00 am

I just thought that anything involving a Democrat was "Chicago Style" (emphasized and stated in an ominous tone).

Designer_Rants November 21, 2012 at 10:39 pm

I don't get it. Was there a white woman involved?

ttommyunger November 21, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Sounds to me like the work of the common clay, the salt of the earth, you know – Blazing Saddles style.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Morons!

ttommyunger November 21, 2012 at 11:47 pm

Hee, hee. Eggzackly!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 22, 2012 at 12:01 am

"Residents", all fully apprised of the maneuvering and all fired up, along the same lines, about an appointment, suddenly pack a city council meeting and turn it into a circus. That just had to be a fair cross-section of the public, and public opinion, in Newark.

Negropolis November 22, 2012 at 12:10 am

It's really not much of a conspiracy, though. Obviously, everyone knew that they were going to need to appoint a council person. Whether it was scheduled for that meeting, I have no idea, but Sharpe's people obviously aren't dummies.

I also suspect since Booker has always had his detractors (didn't he lose his first mayoral race), that the regular council gadflies are always there, anyway.

BoroPrimorac November 22, 2012 at 12:11 am

Wasn't Sharpe the guy who gave Booker a hell of a time when he ran for mayor?

Trinket November 22, 2012 at 1:05 am

Meh. I'd still hit that. Twice.

bobbert November 22, 2012 at 1:35 am

I'm sure your folks will appreciate that little break once an hour. :>)

FrankFuror November 22, 2012 at 2:08 am

Ok, I'm going to be honest, I read TFA, read what was here, and I still have no clue what this is about. Can anyone from New Jersey translate it for me?

shelwood46 November 22, 2012 at 2:26 am

From what I can tell, there were two candidates for the vacancy. James (son of previous mayor, enemy of current mayor) had X votes, the eventual winner had X+1. When time came to vote, though, the folks on the losing side realized that if they left, there would no longer be enough people at the meeting for the meeting to legally continue. They walked out, thinking that would end the meeting, postpone the vote and maybe give them time to maneuver more to their side.

What they didn't know was that the mayor was in a back room, lurking in anticipation of them making this move. He only gets a vote if not enough members are in attendance for a quorum, and his presence counts toward the quorum. So Booker came out, the meeting continued and they held the vote, electing the candidate he favored.

The opponent's supporters then lost their shit, rushed the podium, and pepperspray got deployed. So, you know, Tuesday.

actor212 November 22, 2012 at 8:08 am

Hey, Happy thanksgiving, y'all! I just want to thank you fah letten me be mice elf, again!

corthylio November 22, 2012 at 8:17 am

Happy Thanksgiving to you, and all the Wonketteers!

TribecaMike November 22, 2012 at 11:04 am

In the end, Amiri Baraka read a poem which made everyone drift off into dreamy dreams of a Maoist revolution and Jewish conspiracies.

corthylio November 22, 2012 at 12:33 pm

I love a happy ending.

TribecaMike November 22, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Romantic isn't it?

larrykat November 23, 2012 at 10:42 am

Crump, Abiri, Sharif, Baraka, Adubato and Ramos? Where the fuck is this all taking place again?

HistoriCat November 21, 2012 at 6:17 pm

That girl is going to catch a cold.

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I see she's got the Dragon Mail of Protection

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Wow. That's some serious ferry-boarding!

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 6:49 pm

If it was a choice of waiting an hour+ in line to get on a damn boat or getting to where I needed to go, I'd sure be willing to cough up some extra bucks…

Doktor Zoom November 22, 2012 at 2:45 am

If they have more ferries, they're just going to want to get married.

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 6:53 pm

I say, I say, Son, you must be a Demmycrat.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Or sensible.

Which, in the current political environment, is nigh on the same thing.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 21, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Tim Eyman was teabagging way before it was cool.

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 7:22 pm

So true, so true.

weejee November 21, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Timmie was a totes failure at flogging Balfour paddles, pins, and shit to Freddy Fraternity and Susie Sorority. So pulling a pair of raided panties from his pinhead, Eyman leveraged his intimate knowledge of failure in the service of the privileged into initiative grifting for a career. Is this a great country or what?

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Dang, you freeked me out there, for a minute… ;0)

FeloniousMonk November 21, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Ha! In Yorkshire we only had one Ted Hughes to proposition t' whole county!

Negropolis November 22, 2012 at 3:33 am

They can do that in Washington, now, right?

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