JIVE TURKEY DAY  3:30 pm November 21, 2012

Jesse Jackson Jr. To Resign From Congress: Shocked Nation Momentarily Mistakes Him For His Dad Yet Again

by Doktor Zoom

Srsly, d00dDrudge Sirens! Illinois Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-He’s In Congress? Really?) will, after having won reelection despite not campaigning and completely disappearing from public view since June and a raft of past corruption allegations in the Rod Blagojevich scandal (who?), resign his seat in Congress. (Diagram THAT, Sister Mary Louise!)

We actually do feel bad for him, what with the diagnosis of bipolar disorder and depression and all, because those are just sad awful things that truly do suck to have in your life and which we wouldn’t wish on ANYBODY. On the other hand, we do feel compelled to note that before those maladies entered his life, he tended to be at least a fairly notable minor-league asshat who was often to be found on the periphery of scandals. But apart from the Blago, the adultery, and the ham-handed communications fail surrounding his truly unfortunate mental illness, he seemed like such a nice young man.

Needless to say, because it’s frickin’ Chicago, there will be much discussion in coming days about why he waited until after winning reelection (without campaining, as we think we mentioned) to resign. Quite simply, it’s because it’s the afternoon before a major holiday, which is always a fine time for a news dump.

And now we get an exciting special election, which will presumably be an advantage for the Democrats, and which will be decried as “corrupt Chicago thuggery” on Fox News, even though it’s the sort of thing that sleazy electoral machines of all flavors have done since time immemorial and will do forever, because, jesus, it’s party politics, now isn’t it? WE WOULD NEVER WRITE THAT IF HE WERE A DEMOCRAT.

Mostly, we will remember Jesse Jackson Jr. for that time he read “Green Eggs And Ham” on Saturday Night Live:

[Chicago Tribune]

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{ 187 comments }

Lascauxcaveman November 21, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Chicago style, it's more than just a pizza.
___
And while he's not exactly Gabby Giffords, I hope he does get better.

SorosBot November 21, 2012 at 3:43 pm

But still the best style of pizza; and I say that as an East Coast native.

cousinitt November 21, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Au contraire, this Coloradan sez Jersey pizza is the bestest anywheres, caprice?

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Mmmmm. Tomato pies.

glasspusher November 21, 2012 at 6:21 pm

East Coast and Chicago style are both delicious, says the NJ native. Pizza Hut, it is the devils' work!

Beowoof November 21, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Pizza cooked directly in the fire of hell, Papa Johns.

shelwood46 November 22, 2012 at 12:48 am

I grew up Chicago-adjacent but have lived in Jersey since '85. I have realized that it's like potato salad and tossed salad: the same word is in the name, but they are two different foods. And it's okay to like both. However, my Midwestern upbringing has left me without the ability to appreciate a plain pie.

Goonemeritus November 21, 2012 at 4:06 pm

I would have less of a problem if you made an impassioned case for nominating Michele Bachmann for Secretary of State. Chicago style Pizza is a disgusting soupy mess, fit only for Midwesterners .

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:24 pm

JUST because you said that, I'm'a have me one tonight, while I'm cooking the Thanksgiving cassoulet. Thpptht!

HistoriCat November 21, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Tried the Cooks Illustrated deep dish recipe. It was delicious. It was also a royal pain in the ass to make, so I probably won't be making it again any time soon.

glasspusher November 21, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Has MissTaken taken you to Zachary's yet, 'bot? Methinks you would like it.

SorosBot November 22, 2012 at 3:11 am

In fact, yes; it was good, the best deep dish since I moved back from Chicago way back when (goddamn Uno's sucks compared to the real thing).

glasspusher November 22, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Yeah, they do a good job. They have quite the cult following around here, easier because most of the rest of the pizza landscape around them isn't top notch.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I love those deep-dish Chicago-style pizzas, although I have never been to Chicago and have no real interest in going. Not even to taste the faboo 'zza.

And yeah. Wut you said.

Maman November 21, 2012 at 4:25 pm

When exactly can we expect Mark Kirk to come back to work or resign?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 21, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Why'd he quit? Congress has always been a case of the inmates running the asylum.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Perhaps he was afraid he would be forced to give in to the temptation to sculpt Mitch McConnell's flabby wattles with his teeth.

HistoriCat November 21, 2012 at 5:34 pm

And the downside would be …?

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Messy. Po-pos. Arrest record. No munnies in it, either.

HistoriCat November 21, 2012 at 11:42 pm

You are just NO FUN any more!

mbobier November 21, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Oh boy! More thuggery! We Chicagoans never get enough of that!

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Well, at least he didn't dangle a baby over a balcony railing this time…

skmind November 21, 2012 at 3:39 pm

That was Jermaine you doofus, Jermaine Jacksun. With a 'u'

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Well, at least I knew that Andrew and Michael were the white ones…

bikerlaureate November 21, 2012 at 3:50 pm

It makes me crazy
When you act so cool.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:26 pm

No, that was Michael. Lots of photos of the incident.

Or are you taking the piss again?

PopeEdgardo November 21, 2012 at 4:45 pm

The piss would be my guess, but it's just a guess.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:57 pm

I swear, you never know with these sods. Half the time they're pulling yer leg and tying it in a knot around yer neck …

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Come on, now. Everyone knows it was Michael, even a cloistered Greek Orthodox monk. It was utter sarcasm.

And, BTW, I'm pretty sure it was Randy Jackson, anyway. Which one? You decide!

Weedlord BonerHitler November 22, 2012 at 1:07 am

Oh, you know I have next to no ability to read people signals. I used to get ragged on all the time for not being able to tell when people were being serious and when they were taking the piss.

Happy Thanksgiving, dude. (Hugs you)

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 9:56 am

I see what U are doing, but at least it's Germane to the topic.

Goonemeritus November 21, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I trust Rahm isn’t just going to give that shit away, I mean that’s pure gold man!

mrpuma2u November 21, 2012 at 3:52 pm

The phrase is "fucking golden" and back room deals are proceeding at a furious pace I assure you.

PopeEdgardo November 21, 2012 at 4:47 pm

I think, under the Constitution of Illinois, it's the Governor who gets to sell emplty seats in Congress.

Mumbletypeg November 21, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Dok, you just became epically elevated in my esteem for reminding me of the existence of this Jesse Jackson classic~

kittensdontlie November 21, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Something less classic.

Mumbletypeg November 21, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Man. What a buzz kill.

AlterNewt November 21, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Microphones. How do they work?

Spurning Beer November 21, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Jesse Senior may be the intellectual heir of Dr. Seuss, but he is the oratorical father of The Revs. Al Sharpton and Cornel West.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Come on, the man didn't invent black preaching!

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 3:47 pm

For example, listen to *ANY* speech by Dr. King…

weejee November 21, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Egg-zactly. What about Son House who preached in the House of the Rising Son?

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Kids these days, I tell ya.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Teh Yungz.

Spurning Beer November 21, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Jesse was the first black preacher I ever heard using rhymes and a sing-song cadence like that. Of course he didn't invent parallel structure, call-and-response, or exaggerated prosody that are some of the core elements of black preaching.

And let the record show that I am elderly.

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Reverend Slick-backed Perm libel!

But, no, really, I loves me some Al Sharpton. I mean, the hair the track suits. Truly, a god among men. But, he shouldn't have lost all that damned weight. His obesity was becoming of a man of his oratorical stature.

snowpointsecret November 21, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Advantage for the Democrats.

You mean, "winning a district they'd never have a chance of losing anyway", right?

I feel bad for him, being bipolar myself, but I have to say I wish he resigned well before this. He needed to take care of himself before anything else and I don't think staying in Congress was good for either him or the country.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 3:48 pm

*hugs Snow* :0)

snowpointsecret November 21, 2012 at 4:02 pm

*hugs* Don't worry I'm okay over here.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Wut that bad, bad BadKitty said. Glad you're OK, sorry you have to deal with it, lots of hugs.

PopeEdgardo November 21, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Me too – been there done that myself.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Aw, I'm SURE of that. But an extra hug – just in case – never goes amiss… :0)

ThundercatHo November 21, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Glad you are ok. My son has the rapid cycling variety, he was diagnosed at a young age and is 25 now.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Sorry to hear that. I hope you're all coping OK. It can be devastating.

snowpointsecret November 21, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Thanks, I hope things are somewhat under control there too. I know it never gets completely better but every little bit helps.

ThundercatHo November 21, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Oh, I'm sure some scars will be opened tomorrow. It's hard to breathe when he's here cuz I never know what will happen next. He's maintaining and has a nice girlfriend now but it's always 2 steps forward and one step back. I love my son and he is good and loyal but oy…….we just keep hoping for forward motion.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:59 pm

(Hugs you)

Beowoof November 21, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Good luck tomorrow, and for that matter every day. I grew up with a father who was depressed and found whiskey to be his medication of choice. Didn't work well for any of us. I will hope with you for forward motion.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 9:42 pm

*hugs TCH, too* :0)

May tomorrow be a happy, loving day.

Beowoof November 21, 2012 at 8:19 pm

I feel for you Snow, I have the depression part and it sucks big time. So I understand a little bit. I feel bad for Jr. too, neither issue is one be trifled with and they can be absolutely debilitating.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I'm one of his constituents. I don't give a damn what they do with him, so long as his seat stays Democratic, and frankly, there is no chance in hell that a Republican would ever be elected from this district.

Defeatably_Joe November 21, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Because of all the ofraudo, you mean, right?

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 3:56 pm

I would think it's because, well, blah.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Blacks, Mexicans, and a few working class whites who never escaped, all the way down to Kankakee!

Defeatably_Joe November 21, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Well, yeah. Ofraudo is a neologism that means "black people voting".

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Point taken.

fuflans November 21, 2012 at 4:17 pm

me personally i'm sick of hearing rick kogan call it 'shakespearean'. but then again, i don't have a job.

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 21, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Are you guys even allowed to vote? It's awfully, um, "urban" down there on the South Side.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 8:51 pm

You do realize we're talking about Chicago? Cook County? Illinois?

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 22, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Ah, right. Vote away! Twice!—

AlterNewt November 21, 2012 at 3:40 pm

This doesn't have anything to do with Grover, does it?

SorosBot November 21, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Just hope it doesn't have anything to do with Elmo; ugh.

AlterNewt November 21, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Thanks. Now I can't edit.

weejee November 21, 2012 at 3:56 pm

And exactly what were Elmo and Grover doing?

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I heard they alawys had hands up their asses. Who did those hands belong to?! These are the questions.

Mumbletypeg November 21, 2012 at 8:00 pm

oh .. for your frustration, this whole comment-train makes me laugh if it's any consolation~

AlterNewt November 21, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Sure, but just the same let's never speak of this again.

SorosBot November 21, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Pinkie Pie for congress!

MissTaken November 21, 2012 at 3:50 pm

It tickles me pink that the final post I see before heading home for a long holiday weekend has pic of Pinkie Pie saying "now get the fuck out". Yay!

SorosBot November 21, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Tickle tickle tickle!

SorosBot November 21, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Wait, if serious mental illness is a reason to quit Congress, then what the fuck is Michele Bachmann still doing there?

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 3:49 pm

"The first step is admitting you have a problem…"

MissTaken November 21, 2012 at 3:52 pm

A mental illness implies a brain. The brightest minds in science cannot figure out what they fuck she has.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:31 pm

A stem.

CommieDad November 21, 2012 at 4:01 pm

You are confusing mental illness with being bat-shit crazy. The former is a disease, which can be treated with drugs and counseling, the later is a condition caused by severe ambition and lack of morals, for which there is no treatment.

PopeEdgardo November 21, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Not to mention the two Senator Certifiables from Oklahoma, Frick and Frack, or whatever the hell their names are.

frostbitefalls November 21, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Unfair to seriously mentally ill people!

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 10:01 am

There's your mistake, she's not seriously mentally ill, she's comedically mentally ill, and don't you forget it bucko!

Beowoof November 21, 2012 at 8:24 pm

I believe it might be a condition that reflects the folks in her district.

jtinks November 21, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Maybe if they let Paul Ryan campaign in JJJ's "urban" district, it can be a pickup for the GOP. Hahahahaha. Ah.

flipdraw November 21, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Extraneous to this post, what's the deal with the horses? I kind of love them.

Jukesgrrl November 21, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Oh, Gawd, not another Brony. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Little_Pony:_Frie

FeloniousMonk November 21, 2012 at 5:31 pm

I just visualize them filleted.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 7:40 pm

A plasticine-pink fillet? Decidedly unappetizing!

bikerlaureate November 21, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Corrupt – unlike holding onto your DA job after proof comes out… that you were lying to everyone you know before the election.

Yah.

mrpuma2u November 21, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Ugh. As an IL resident I am posting with a paper bag over my head. He is not my representative, but still embarrassing to be in the same county.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Nobody in all of Cook County political history has embarrassed you as much as Jesse Jr.!

Jukesgrrl November 21, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Anyone aspiring to the Cook County Top 10 must at least have crazee eyes, crazee hair, or a getaway car full of cold, hard cash driven by a certified member of the Mafia. Rep. Jackson has none of those. Having the sadz on a front porch that has no bodies buried under it doesn't even make the Top 100.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Which Cook County politicians have had crazee eyes, crazee hair and a getaway car with cash driven by the Mafia?

mrpuma2u November 21, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Touche, but he is just the latest, not so much the greatest elected doofus. I still say that is 3 way between Rostenkoswki, Ryan, and Blago. As a long term Chi-towner you would think I would have a thicker skin for this by now….

fuflans November 21, 2012 at 4:11 pm

please. terrifying republicans with our corruption and thuggery is pretty much the main reason i haven't moved to los angeles.

or well, getting to vote twice.

me personally, i proudly stand behind my district that has elected (in historical order): rahm emanuel, rod blagojevich, dan rostenkowski and stephen douglas (yes, that one).

it's easier if you just embrace it.

PopeEdgardo November 21, 2012 at 4:57 pm

You only vote twice and you call yourself a Chicagoan? Slacker.

Lucidamente1 November 21, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Yet another reason not to confirm Susan Rice.

AlterNewt November 21, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Newsletter?

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Could Jesse Jr. have recovered from his mental health issues, beaten the corruption allegations and served effectively in Congress? The question is moot!
http://www.maniacworld.com/question-is-moot.html

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Now, that's pretty damned funny. Is that a real show???

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Clearly, it was the model for Sharpton's MSNBC vehicle.

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 4:05 pm

OMG I had totally forgotten that sketch! THANK YOU!

And watching it today, I suddenly realize that the "shiny red car with a radio" is, of all things, a mid-80's Maserati Quattroporte.

Ground Zero Mostel November 21, 2012 at 4:13 pm

That was one of those SNL seasons I apparently missed. I recognized Elaine. Who were the other two?

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 8:05 pm

I haven't the least idea. It was a pretty forgettable cast.

Also, I am a liar. That's no Quattroporte. That's a Biturbo.

Ground Zero Mostel November 21, 2012 at 9:55 pm

I found it on the internets: Mary Gross (who I now vaguely remember) and Gary Kroger, cast member 1982-1985 (who if you showed me a bunch of pictures and said, "Which one wasn't on SNL" I'd pick him.)

johnnyzhivago November 21, 2012 at 3:56 pm

You knew there was something strange going on when he was featured in a HGTV show last year.

mavenmaven November 21, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I hope he got money for the seat, because a seat "is a f****g valuable thing, you just don't give it away for nothing"

hillarysleftone November 21, 2012 at 5:30 pm

I was going to say, isn't this where we came in, with a governor mulling over appointing somebody to fill an unexpectedly empty seat? Hilarity ensues…

mavenmaven November 21, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Yes, this was Blagojovich's line about that empty seat.

Toomush_Infer November 21, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Can Blago campaign from jail?…

LibertyLover November 21, 2012 at 3:58 pm

(Diagram THAT, Sister Mary Louise!)

Dok, Dok, Dok, It's time to get over your treatment at the hands of Sister Mary Louise. You know you were asking for that ruler on the back of the hand for throwing spitballs at John Henry. And you know that if she told you once, she told you a thousand times not to chew gum in her class…

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 4:05 pm
LibertyLover November 21, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Very good! But here's my favorite Sister….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa3HXdqNWIM

docterry6973 November 21, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Kind of sad, if reports be true. Depression sucks. Or so I've been told.

CommieDad November 21, 2012 at 4:03 pm

yeah. its like nothing matters. like even posting on wonkette is too much fucking work. you dont even want to hit the shift key.

Sharkey November 21, 2012 at 4:12 pm

You have to hold it.

CommieDad November 21, 2012 at 4:19 pm

It's not good to hold it.

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Have you tried checking these handy Windows tips & tricks?

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Whenever I've met someone who made snide comments about antidepressants, I like to point out that I only feel drugged when I'm in the middle of a depressive spell and NOT on my meds.

CommieDad November 21, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Very true. SSRIs saved my life (that and going more than an hour without getting high).

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:37 pm

It sucks. And you survive it until you don't, mostly.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 4:00 pm

His wife, who is an Alderman, could perhaps have taken his seat with solidarity votes from the local Sisters who are mad he cheated with a practically-white blonde latina, but I hear Sandi's being investigated too. Oh, it is sad to ride by their joint political office on the Metra every morning, the lights dimmed behind the giant Jesse & Sandi window decals of their lonely corner building!

LibertyLover November 21, 2012 at 4:03 pm

What has this to do with Benghazi again?

NellCote71 November 21, 2012 at 7:17 pm

It is just another example of Obama's failed presidency.

StealthMuslin November 21, 2012 at 4:03 pm

"He brings bi-polar disorder, you bring schizophrenia! That's the Chicago Way!"
(Also, teabagger special election strategy.)

Pragmatist2 November 21, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I'm bipolar myself and so half of me wishes him well.

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 9:43 am

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm bi-polar,
And so am I.

A Schizophrenic joke from the 1970's or 1980's,
updated for you, and for you too.

LibertyLover November 21, 2012 at 4:05 pm

OT– Shouldn't that ad on the right say "Wonkette Bizarre" instead of "Wonkette Bazaar" ???

Just sayin'

PubOption November 21, 2012 at 4:20 pm

It's certainly bizarre that Rebecca and KBJ have had their heads shaved and necks stretched.

fuflans November 21, 2012 at 4:13 pm

this would be more interesting if there was a hooker involved.

or twins from tampa.

NellCote71 November 21, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Or all three.

AlterNewt November 21, 2012 at 9:22 pm

But different twins.

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I know, right? Regular old infidelity is so 1990's.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 21, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I have Borderline Personality Disorder (amongst other things). When people ask me what that means I tell them it means I'm this close to having a personality.

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 4:17 pm

I thought it meant you only got crazy within a couple hundred miles of Canada or Mexico.

Biff November 21, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Also, Oklahoma.

UW8316154 November 21, 2012 at 9:25 pm

My sister is BPD, and it is a tough one. Our family has struggled with it for decades. Any suggestions are welcome. Peace ~ UW….

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 22, 2012 at 11:03 am

I wish you and your sister well. It can be a very difficult condition to live through. I'm not qualified to offer advice, but I will tell you that what has helped me is mindfulness meditation, CBT and DBT. Loving, caring, understanding friends and family also helps a lot. Unfortunately, this kind of thing doen't really "heal." But, like a lifelong condition such as diabetes, it can be treated and managed and anyone with it can live a full life. Take care.

CalvinsChoice November 21, 2012 at 4:16 pm

This dude wouldn't even get noticed in Louisiana. How much cash did he have in his freezer anyway?

Jukesgrrl November 21, 2012 at 4:32 pm

And does he prefer Huggies or Pampers?

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Oh, Dok! What ARE you doing to Wonketz wit da po-neez?

Don't get any weirder, OK?

C_R_Eature November 21, 2012 at 9:05 pm

The Going has gotten Weird, Dok has Turned Pro and Ponies are part of the Program.

Get with the Program.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 22, 2012 at 12:59 am

Not a CREature will stand with me in my time of need.

This goes into the "Christmans & Birthday Present List" file, you know.

C_R_Eature November 22, 2012 at 7:44 am

Oh, come on over to the Dark Side. You'll like it here.

OT: I got my copy of Kaikai Aniani yesterday (Sago-coconut pancakes with prawn filling! Flying Fox with prunes and cream sauce! Pawpaw sherbet!) but I can find no Cannibal Recipes. Am I missing something?
I was looking forward to those.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 22, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Oh, there weren't any actual *recipes,* CRE, just information on the practice in PNG, and advice on how to cook the meat, once it was properly dressed.

Note: Long pig is cooked just like pork.

And NO, I DON'T KNOW THAT FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE! I read it in a book (Kaikai Aniani).

Doktor Zoom November 21, 2012 at 9:18 pm

As Spurning Beer said a few weeks back, it's part of Wonkette's Status of Horses agreement.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 22, 2012 at 12:58 am

Et tu, you brute?

Biff November 21, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Bi-polar. Depression.

UNFIT TO STAND TRIAL FTMFW!!!11!!!

BZ1 November 21, 2012 at 5:55 pm

No snark: too bad.

DemonicRage November 21, 2012 at 6:06 pm

I want him to form an accapella group along with Eliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner. Singing should cheer him up. Too bad that Spitzer is now so reannointed that he is too busy pontificating on every media venue that will print or air his opinions (has no time for musical performance)!

Pat_Pending November 21, 2012 at 6:08 pm

what do you read whilst taking a news dump? The paper?

mosjef November 21, 2012 at 6:13 pm

If he's bipolar, does he technically have to resign twice?

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 9:45 am

No, but it means that you can legally vote for him twice.
In Chicago words, same old same old.

C_R_Eature November 21, 2012 at 9:23 pm

So, the takeaway theme for this story:

Democratic House members who suffer from debilitating mental illness take a leave of absence and, when that fails to work, resign.

Republican House members who suffer from debilitating mental illness stubbornly stay at work and are appointed to the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology .

I see.

Doktor Zoom November 22, 2012 at 2:54 am

Some people suffer from mental illness, and some apparently enjoy the ride.

christianmuslin November 21, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I suspect that @ 47 % of the voting public suffers from bipolar disorder. How could any mentally healthy person support Mittons of Romney, the republican platform and that little naked cherub Macaroni?

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 9:46 pm

They just don't make 'em like they used to, huh?

While I'm sure his diagnosis was a major contributor to him deciding to leave, it's probably not the top reason. People have served in far worse shape than him. Hell, his own senator, Mark Kirk, is still in there dealing with the after-effects of a stroke.

It's not his head that has him unsettled, it's all the king's men closing in on him. Classic case of overstaying one's welcome. Sometimes, when you shit and don't get off the pot, you get pushed of.

Chet Kincaid_ November 22, 2012 at 1:38 am

Even Jr.'s own mother was quoted as saying (and I sarcastically paraphrase), "in my day we took our lumps, these kids today can't handle adversity without shitting their Pampers."
http://www.suntimes.com/photos/galleries/13759419

(OK, the exact quote was, “I’m not ashamed to say … he thought he was going to be a senator. He thought he was going to have a chance to run for mayor. And young people don’t bounce back from disappointment like me and my husband.")

ttommyunger November 21, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Exhaustion, Bi-Polar, Tri-Polar; all so much bullshit. This is what a coward does when the shit gets heavy and the walls start closing in. Man-up, son and pay the piper; you've had your dance.

Negropolis November 22, 2012 at 12:06 am

You call it a coward move, and I just call it a move to save his constiuents the circus of a trial that would have been if he hadn't resigned. A smart man knows when he's beat.

Chet Kincaid_ November 22, 2012 at 1:34 am

I think ttommy is referring to the sudden diagnosis of Bi-Polar/exhaustion conveniently when word first got out that he was being investigated, not this resignation.

ttommyunger November 22, 2012 at 7:41 am

The resignation is cool. The drama-queen bullshit of hospitalization was just a delaying tactic and a play for sympathy. Takes up a bed, costs us a bundle to no good end. The old man would have rode that bull.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

Negropolis November 22, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Oh, completely. He dragged out this circus longer than it had to be. I'm just glad he's finally going to quit if that's how he was going to "fight" his troubles.

ttommyunger November 22, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Typical of his generation.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

Walkinwiddaking November 22, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Between the antics of his old man and himself I have zero, zip, zilch sympathy for either of these opportunistic assholes.

Goonemeritus November 21, 2012 at 6:45 pm

"Cooks Illustrated deep dish recipe" Sweet Jesus and Mary. If there is anyone less Italian than that New Hampshire skinflint I haven't met him. Let me guess he had you brine it overnight.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 7:35 pm

My homemade pizzas tend to be ww crust with a schpritz of olive oil, caramelized onions, ground lamb, sauteed chard with garlic and shredded mozzarella. When I'm feeling REALLY fancy, I do a goat-cheese/green-onion with a smidgen of pine nuts for crunchy.

I would NEVER make a deep-dish in a home kitchen. Wut can I say, dood, you're a better man than I am.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 21, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Brine the pizza? (looks desperately for weed and vape)

No, what?

HistoriCat November 21, 2012 at 11:41 pm

All I remember is that it was a shit-ton of work and completelyunhealthy. Really tasty (must have been all the butter), but nofucking way would I be willing to put that much effort into it again.

Goonemeritus November 21, 2012 at 7:41 pm

He fucking brines everything.

glasspusher November 21, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Yeah, him too.

HistoriCat November 21, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Your pizza description leaves my mouth watering …

Weedlord BonerHitler November 22, 2012 at 1:32 am

I shoulda been a food writer, huh?

boskolives November 22, 2012 at 9:51 am

Maybe I didn't read it right, it left me with anal leakage.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 22, 2012 at 3:32 am

Geez, man, I'm too OLD for that shit. These days.

Not telling about previous adventures, neither

glasspusher November 22, 2012 at 12:11 pm

The true measure of a good pizza is that it tastes great even “plain”. There's only one place out here in CA that makes one this good that I know of…Giovanni's in Sunnyvale, but they're from Brooklyn and Hopewell NJ.I like a lot of toppings, generally, as well, as they can compensate, to an extent, for a substandard pie.

C_R_Eature November 22, 2012 at 12:55 pm

OK, thanks. That's good to know.

I still think it's Suspicious that you just happen to know so much about the Practice. There's still the small matter of those missing neighbors, too.

shelwood46 November 22, 2012 at 1:03 pm

We get our pie in Hopewell all the time! They have several great places (Antimo's is my favorite). For a special treat, we go to Conte's in Princeton. Montgomery has disappointing pizza, yet I'm sure it's better than most anything outside NJ. Spoiled, right here.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 22, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I … I just *read* a lot, CRE, honest.

And they're not *really* missing. In fact,they're a LOT closer to home than anyone realizes.

C_R_Eature November 22, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Yeah. Those neighbors are exactly where you saw them last. Uh huh.
I really want to try that Fruit Bat recipe. There's only a few in my area though, and I'm pretty sure the Zoological park would miss them.
I do have wood grubs in the back, but not so magnificently large as those ones.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 22, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I *don't* have a freezer. Well, not that large a freezer.

Don't be thinning out your local fruit bats, dude, there's more in the tropics anyway. As for the grubs, ew. I'm so not into alternate protein sources. Did I mention the partner has been permanently banned from cooking in my kitchen after mentioning he offered a garlic cicada stir-fry to his nutbag friends on the Sewer Tour? Yeah, that's what he does for fun. I'm sticking to chicken pork beef lamb goose et cetera.

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