rubbers and rubber checks

Classy Wrasslin’ Two-Time-Loser Lady Linda McMahon Stiffs Staff, Invites It To Screw Itself

Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling donut, poors? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the MOOOOOOOOON?Hmmm, it looks like your Wonkette didn’t bother to write even the littlest thing about two-time-Senate-loser and Wrasslin’ Lady Linda McMahon this time around, probably because we had used up all our folding-chair jokes the first time around, and also probably because we didn’t care. But in fact, it is AFTER her (second) loss that Linda McMahon has become interesting! And how has she done that? Well, once she’d blown $100 million of her own money on her two (losing) campaigns, it seems she didn’t have enough left over to pay the uniformly low-income and African American folks who had been her (low-wage) fake-supporters, so they just waited and waited. But then they told the press “hey this rich lady isn’t bothering to pay us!” So THEN they got checks with a condom in the envelope, so’s they could fuck themselves! AND THEN THE CHECKS BOUNCED ANYWAY. Oh man.

NEW HAVEN, Conn. (WTNH) — Two days after the election campaign workers came to News 8 claiming, they had not been paid by Linda McMahon’s campaign. We spoke out on their behalf and one week after the election the campaign was writing checks. The only problem is that the checks bounced.

“We already paid the money to the people and we were just looking to get our percentage which we charge two percent,” said Troy Stokes, M&M Check Cashing Co.

M&M Check Cashing on Howe Street had been cashing McMahon’s checks all through the campaign, but all the checks dated November 8th have bounced.

“We’re out right now, $1,600,” Stokes said.

Did you catch that? All the folks who were doing the fake-supporter thing for McMahon’s campaign were so poor they don’t have bank accounts, and have to give two percent off the top to scammy check cashing places. HAHA, IDIOTS, SERVES YOU RIGHT or something, we guess.

Twaine Don Gomes was one of the people who first complained to News 8. He was handed a check, but he says, the campaign told him they were mad that he came to News 8, so he got a little something extra in his envelope.

“Basically he handed me a check with a condom in it, told me I was screwed,” Gomes said. “That’s the rudest gesture you can ever do to a person, it’s like spitting in a person’s face.”

His check bounced as well.

Here’s your kinder, gentler, more black-people-outreaching GOP, America. LOVE IT OR GET A FOLDING CHAIR TO THE FACE.

Happy Holidays.

[OnPolitix / SouthernBeale, via Wonket operative “Lisa Z”]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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  1. memzilla

    So, now it's the Carly Fiorina / Linda McMahon / Meg Whitman Loser Rethuglican She-Wimmenz Bizniz Hatin' Club!

    That'll look great on a sign hanging at Regent's University.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      Meg surfaced again — she was on Marketplace last night, being interviewed about the $9 billion write-off HP took because they bought some software company that was apparently worthless. That lady is one good decision away from accidentally lopping her own head off with a chainsaw.

      1. memzilla

        HP has destroyed at least $44 billion in corporate value, almost twice what it's worth now. American Capitalism Exceptionalism at its finest!

        "For years, H.P. has turned to deal-making to help it grow, buying E.D.S. [Ross Perot's old company], Palm and Compaq. Since 2001, the company has spent at least $67 billion on acquisitions… that’s more than H.P.’s current market capitalization of about $23.4 billion.

        “'If you think about the companies they’ve acquired over the last several years,” [one analyst] said, “it’s just unbelievable how much value has been destroyed.'”

    1. greenloner

      Ain't it the truth? I believe the voters have correctly divined that the Senate needs fewer rich skinflints, not more.

  2. Oblios_Cap

    “Basically he handed me a check with a condom in it, told me I was screwed,”

    Geez, don't give Wal-Mart any ideas!

    1. OneDollarJuana

      Not gonna happen. Condoms could be considered health-care-related, and we all know how Wal-Mart feels about providing health care.

  3. Loch_Nessosaur

    This is even worse than when Gov. Rick Scott (FL – Medicare Grifter) paid out his campaign employees in Amex gift cards. At least those didn't bounce.

  4. Come here a minute

    It would be sweet justice if it was Ms. McMahon who owned the check-cashing business and has thus fucked herself.

    1. Biff

      Surfing around the net the other day I saw a picture of her in revealing swimwear. Cannot unsee that, evar.

  5. SmutBoffin

    Why do you all hate job kreeaters?

    If she gets crap from people about giving good campaign jobs to poorz, then she might not make any more jobs for sweaty steroidal wrasslin' actors.

  6. SorosBot

    What's this, the working peons asking to get paid? In Free Market America? They should be happy just to have had jobs!

  7. SorosBot

    With McMahon, the former campaign workers are lucky she didn't force them to bulk up on steroids to the point they will probably die in their mid-40s like she does with some of her other employees.

    1. actor212

      No no! NOT employees! "Independent contractors," so she doesn't have to pay their health insurance or transportation!

      She's like Wal-Mart or Papa John's only more honest in her spite.

      So the steroid use? Even tho it was Vince who was pushing it on them? And even supplying them?

      Totes their own decision. You know, as small business owners.

      1. SorosBot

        Totally their own decision. And it's lovely that they can fuck the wrestlers over with no health insurance while fucking over their physical health with both the steroids and the injuries during the fake fights. What lovely people; I'm so sad she's not in the Senate.

  8. James Michael Curley

    Here in NJ a congressional candidate who advocates Little government is rumored to bounced the checks given to a large number of kids hired a few weeks before the campaign to go around posting thousands of lawn signs on public property. I made an inquiry and now it is alleged they were told they would get there payment after the campaign when they picked up and returned the signs. Problem – Sandy – Where's the sign?

    1. Tundra Grifter

      In many jurisdictions the DA will collect for you – up to treble damages (that does not bad music, by the way).

      Each person who got a rubber check can go to Small Claims Court – here in California you can request punitive damages. It's always a good idea to at least double your claim (plus costs, of course). That way when they offer to settle for 50%, you get what you were owed in the first place.

  9. asterixaverni

    While this is a shitty thing to do to your "supporters", what did they expect? The woman went bankrupt and didn't pay her debts for over 30 years – and that was only after it became a campaign issue.

  10. freakishlywrong

    Anyone who supports/works/votes for Rethugs gets fucked up the ass with a folding chair. Just stop doing it, stupids.

  11. sullivanst

    Well, now you really will have to tell us exactly who you're talking about when you use the phrase "Check-kiting grifter"

    ETA: I suppose we do now have to admin, Newt really is the GOP's ideas man, but they're still bad ideas.

  12. VodkaGoGo

    “Basically he handed me a check with a condom in it, told me I was screwed,”

    All I have to say about this is HOLY SHIT THAT IS AWFUL.

      1. SorosBot

        Sure it's illegal for some peasant making minimum wage at Wal-Mart to knowingly write a bad check, but Linda McMahon is rich, those same rules don't apply to her.

        (And they were probably corporate campaign checks, so the biggest penalty would be a fine to the campaign; no one ever has to actually face legal punishment if the crime was committed by a corporate person!)

        1. bikerlaureate

          So does that mean we'll never get to learn the name of the compassionate hack who donated that condom?

        2. sullivanst

          But rut roh, it's not the little people she owes the money, it's the check cashing company who already paid the little people. They'll probably send someone over with something a little more robust than a folding chair.

  13. actor212

    Hey, Linda?

    Murphy 3:16¹

    Nuff said.

    ¹Murphy 3:16 says I just whooped your ass, and that's the bottom line cuz Chris Murphy said so…

  14. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    In a weird way, the people without checking accounts are lucky because they'd have to pay that money back to bank, not to mention the fees for insufficient funds. Not that I'd know anything about those fees or anything.

    Also, she is horrible. Too.

  15. MinAgain

    I'm simply devastated. Here I thought professional wrestling and its various hangers-on were such a class act.

  16. BadKitty904

    I'm guessing her Christmas gift to herself, this year, will be firing Bob Cratchit and foreclosing on a few widows and orphans…

    1. PopeEdgardo

      Beat me to it. It's like the punchline from old joke about the factory workers in the Soviet Union: "They pretend to pay us and we pretend to work."

  17. Abernathy

    Finally, a coherent GOP stand on condoms. Need 'em for safe sex? Whoa there, slut! Enjoy your herpes and unwanted pregnancy. Need 'em to screw over and poop all over your employees? Take all you need!

  18. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Hmmm, making African-Americans work for no pay. That reminds me of something. Something terrible in our nation's history. What was it called?

        1. bikerlaureate

          Not intended! They rule.

          A better parsing would be "making some African-Americans work for no pay," or "making African-Americans work for insutingly low pay, especially compared to the gross receipts."

      1. Negropolis

        Oh shit!

        You know, the Detroit establishment tries to remember this guy fondly, but everyday people hate him for moving Motown and never looking back. That, and when they went to tear the building down downtown that originally housed Motown, there was nary a peep from the guy. Another piece of Detroit history is gone…for a parking lot. I mean, Hitsville is nice and all, but it's not downtown and it's literally a house.

  19. Mumbletypeg

    Jan Brewer isn't impressed. "Heads will roll!" still edges out "Checks will bounce" in the intimidation dept. — and Brewer's complexion could ice McMahon's in the ring any day.

      1. Mumbletypeg

        Unlike McMahon's expendable employees — Brewer probably pays her own Master of Disaster to do her hair and makeup, I'd think it woud be an indispensable necessity.

  20. mickeymusing

    How bizarre. Who could have ever predicted that someone whose family runs a fake wrestling empire would be so tacky?

  21. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Mittens is slapping himself on the forehead as he reads this.

    Yes, Mittens reads the Wonkette.

  22. HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Don't count her out. Illinois finally sent Milk Magnate (and all around hateful person) Oberweis to some elected office or other, on his, I believe, seventh try.

      1. bobbert

        There is something sort of sweet about the fact that in the election where he finally won, the Dems took veto-proof supermajorities in both houses. Have fun, Mr. Oberweis!

  23. Troglodeity

    This is all a misunderstanding. The condom was a generous extension by McMahon of healthcare benefits to a former employee.

  24. ttommyunger

    Wonder how many of these folk will come to the realization they've been busting their Butts for the wrong team? Lots, I hope.

  25. JaceWyatt

    So, yeah, I'm totally going to steal this and put a condom in my drunk, homophobic uncle's xmas card.

    Thanks, McMahon. Your campaign is good for something!

  26. barto

    Linda, sweetie, what's with the rubber checks? C'mon dollface, show some compassion and class, like Mr. Romney. Oh wait…

  27. Tundra Grifter

    Forgive me if I've already posted this here: On the night of November 6th, after Gov. Romney had lost the election, his campaign cancelled all the credit cards issued to his workers.

    So they had to pay out-of-pocket cash for their cab rides back to their hotels.

    Dude gives empty suits a bad names.

    {PS: I think the condom in the envelope is actually pretty funny. Mean, of course, But still pretty funny.}

  28. Schmegeg

    $100 Million to lose in Connecticut? She could have moved to some plain state hellhole, spent $60,000, and won by 10. Smart lady.

  29. Negropolis

    Who could have known that a wrestling mavin would be so uncouth?! Won't someone think of the children? Won't anyone think of the children?!

  30. Negropolis

    What an ultimate Mean Girls move. I mean, if you're going to fuck someone something rotten, it's at least preferable to be creative about it, huh?

Comments are closed.