rubbers and rubber checks

Classy Wrasslin’ Two-Time-Loser Lady Linda McMahon Stiffs Staff, Invites It To Screw Itself

Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling donut, poors? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the MOOOOOOOOON?Hmmm, it looks like your Wonkette didn’t bother to write even the littlest thing about two-time-Senate-loser and Wrasslin’ Lady Linda McMahon this time around, probably because we had used up all our folding-chair jokes the first time around, and also probably because we didn’t care. But in fact, it is AFTER her (second) loss that Linda McMahon has become interesting! And how has she done that? Well, once she’d blown $100 million of her own money on her two (losing) campaigns, it seems she didn’t have enough left over to pay the uniformly low-income and African American folks who had been her (low-wage) fake-supporters, so they just waited and waited. But then they told the press “hey this rich lady isn’t bothering to pay us!” So THEN they got checks with a condom in the envelope, so’s they could fuck themselves! AND THEN THE CHECKS BOUNCED ANYWAY. Oh man.

NEW HAVEN, Conn. (WTNH) — Two days after the election campaign workers came to News 8 claiming, they had not been paid by Linda McMahon’s campaign. We spoke out on their behalf and one week after the election the campaign was writing checks. The only problem is that the checks bounced.

“We already paid the money to the people and we were just looking to get our percentage which we charge two percent,” said Troy Stokes, M&M Check Cashing Co.

M&M Check Cashing on Howe Street had been cashing McMahon’s checks all through the campaign, but all the checks dated November 8th have bounced.

“We’re out right now, $1,600,” Stokes said.

Did you catch that? All the folks who were doing the fake-supporter thing for McMahon’s campaign were so poor they don’t have bank accounts, and have to give two percent off the top to scammy check cashing places. HAHA, IDIOTS, SERVES YOU RIGHT or something, we guess.

Twaine Don Gomes was one of the people who first complained to News 8. He was handed a check, but he says, the campaign told him they were mad that he came to News 8, so he got a little something extra in his envelope.

“Basically he handed me a check with a condom in it, told me I was screwed,” Gomes said. “That’s the rudest gesture you can ever do to a person, it’s like spitting in a person’s face.”

His check bounced as well.

Here’s your kinder, gentler, more black-people-outreaching GOP, America. LOVE IT OR GET A FOLDING CHAIR TO THE FACE.

Happy Holidays.

[OnPolitix / SouthernBeale, via Wonket operative “Lisa Z”]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    And then there's Rowdy Roddy Piper

    • emmelemm

      That seriously made my week.

      I'm thankful for Rowdy Roddy Piper.

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        Ditto, ma'am, ditto~

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Yes, and I'm grateful to whomever posted it a thread or two back. I did read it when it first hit the news, but I'm glad for the reminder.

    • not that Dewey
      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        My favorite line of that movie.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    I'm stunned that the someone associated with professional rassling would do something fake.

    • hagajim

      Darn – you beat me to it.

  • memzilla

    So, now it's the Carly Fiorina / Linda McMahon / Meg Whitman Loser Rethuglican She-Wimmenz Bizniz Hatin' Club!

    That'll look great on a sign hanging at Regent's University.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      Meg surfaced again — she was on Marketplace last night, being interviewed about the $9 billion write-off HP took because they bought some software company that was apparently worthless. That lady is one good decision away from accidentally lopping her own head off with a chainsaw.

      • memzilla

        HP has destroyed at least $44 billion in corporate value, almost twice what it's worth now. American Capitalism Exceptionalism at its finest!

        "For years, H.P. has turned to deal-making to help it grow, buying E.D.S. [Ross Perot's old company], Palm and Compaq. Since 2001, the company has spent at least $67 billion on acquisitions… that’s more than H.P.’s current market capitalization of about $23.4 billion.

        “'If you think about the companies they’ve acquired over the last several years,” [one analyst] said, “it’s just unbelievable how much value has been destroyed.'”

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Quick, someone photoshop Meg in this outfit:
          http://foo.ca/wp/chick-tract-satire/galactus-is-c

          (Nice Chick parody, btw.)

          • TribecaMike

            That's a dream combination: Jack Chick and Jacky Kirby!

        • Gayer_Than_Thou

          In other news, my HP printer sucks.

      • Geminisunmars

        Da curse of the demon sheep…

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      The Megster just had to suck an $8.8 billion egg over at HP. Likely she's gonna know the impact of stockholder butt hurt real soon.

    • freakishlywrong

      They'll still appear on the Sunday shows as "experts". Galling.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Hey, the rich don't get that way by being nice. Or by paying their bills.

    • greenloner

      Ain't it the truth? I believe the voters have correctly divined that the Senate needs fewer rich skinflints, not more.

  • gullywompr

    So she favors free birth control now?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Well-played!

    • Negropolis

      WIN

  • nounverb911

    Time to "Occupy Greenwich".

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Yes, with finger sandwiches and scones.

    • Barrelhse

      Mean.

  • Oblios_Cap

    “Basically he handed me a check with a condom in it, told me I was screwed,”

    Geez, don't give Wal-Mart any ideas!

    • OneDollarJuana

      Not gonna happen. Condoms could be considered health-care-related, and we all know how Wal-Mart feels about providing health care.

      • Biff

        How many condoms can you buy at walmart for $17 every payday, anyway?

        • Negropolis

          Definitely not all of them, Katie.

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    This is even worse than when Gov. Rick Scott (FL – Medicare Grifter) paid out his campaign employees in Amex gift cards. At least those didn't bounce.

  • Come here a minute

    It would be sweet justice if it was Ms. McMahon who owned the check-cashing business and has thus fucked herself.

  • hagajim

    What do you expect from a fake sports empress other than fake checks. Smackdown bitches!

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Lady Wrasslin' promoter is a dick? P.T. Barnum asks "quelle surprise??

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      There's a succubus born every minute! (said 22 hours ago Chet)

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Worth repeating!

  • freakishlywrong

    Looking for a new pro wrassler; Zeke "The Bouncer" Asshole.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      That's because the Repo Man will be out working his day job, apparently, all those bonced checks.

  • Pragmatist2

    Maybe they should sue her and have the case heard on Judge Judy. Somehow that seems so right.

    • Biff

      Surfing around the net the other day I saw a picture of her in revealing swimwear. Cannot unsee that, evar.

  • SmutBoffin

    Why do you all hate job kreeaters?

    If she gets crap from people about giving good campaign jobs to poorz, then she might not make any more jobs for sweaty steroidal wrasslin' actors.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    We all know that wrasslin' [checks] ain't real.

  • BadKitty904

    Hateful, Greedy Hag is hateful and greedy.

    • HRH_Maddie

      Full story at 11.

  • SorosBot

    What's this, the working peons asking to get paid? In Free Market America? They should be happy just to have had jobs!

    • Geminisunmars

      The demand evaporated, so why should she have to pay.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    OT, but early release here. Suck it, taxpayers!

    • emmelemm

      Early release, premature ejaculation, whichever…

      /jk

    • HistoriCat

      30 minutes to go here …

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Well, I'll have you know that we in the private sector stayed all day! (and fucked off watching youtube on our phones)

  • not that Dewey

    ARE YOU READY TO GRUMBLE

    • BadKitty904

      Excellent!

    • emmelemm

      Agreed – that was a good one!

  • SexySmurf

    In Linda McMahon's defense, the check was covered in herpes.

  • http://theplannersdreamgonewrong.blogspot.com jtinks

    What would you expect from somebody married to this guy?

  • SorosBot

    With McMahon, the former campaign workers are lucky she didn't force them to bulk up on steroids to the point they will probably die in their mid-40s like she does with some of her other employees.

    • BadKitty904

      I'm surprised she didn't have them sent to the spice mines of Kessel…

      • Lizzietish81

        smashed into who knows what…

      • SorosBot

        I made the Kessel run in under twelve parsecs.

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          Yeah, sure, just you and Paul Ryan.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      No no! NOT employees! "Independent contractors," so she doesn't have to pay their health insurance or transportation!

      She's like Wal-Mart or Papa John's only more honest in her spite.

      So the steroid use? Even tho it was Vince who was pushing it on them? And even supplying them?

      Totes their own decision. You know, as small business owners.

      • SorosBot

        Totally their own decision. And it's lovely that they can fuck the wrestlers over with no health insurance while fucking over their physical health with both the steroids and the injuries during the fake fights. What lovely people; I'm so sad she's not in the Senate.

  • James Michael Curley

    Here in NJ a congressional candidate who advocates Little government is rumored to bounced the checks given to a large number of kids hired a few weeks before the campaign to go around posting thousands of lawn signs on public property. I made an inquiry and now it is alleged they were told they would get there payment after the campaign when they picked up and returned the signs. Problem – Sandy – Where's the sign?

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Can you do a class action in small claims court?

    • HistoriCat

      Forget small claims – isn't intentionally writing bad checks criminal?

      • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

        Even better!

    • Tundra Grifter

      In many jurisdictions the DA will collect for you – up to treble damages (that does not bad music, by the way).

      Each person who got a rubber check can go to Small Claims Court – here in California you can request punitive damages. It's always a good idea to at least double your claim (plus costs, of course). That way when they offer to settle for 50%, you get what you were owed in the first place.

  • asterixaverni

    While this is a shitty thing to do to your "supporters", what did they expect? The woman went bankrupt and didn't pay her debts for over 30 years – and that was only after it became a campaign issue.

  • Crank_Tango

    This is good news for King Kong Bundy.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      And Vern Gagne.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        And Leapin' Larry Shane, too

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

    She should run for President in the next GOP primary: she's a bigger skinflint than Rmoney.

  • freakishlywrong

    Anyone who supports/works/votes for Rethugs gets fucked up the ass with a folding chair. Just stop doing it, stupids.

    • BadKitty904

      IKR?

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Demand KY Jelly be provided, skip the penis butter.

  • HRH_Maddie

    FISCAL Responsibility or some such garbage was probably her campaign slogan.

  • Lizzietish81

    Ironically she could have covered the checks if she hadn't bought the condoms.

  • sullivanst

    Well, now you really will have to tell us exactly who you're talking about when you use the phrase "Check-kiting grifter"

    ETA: I suppose we do now have to admin, Newt really is the GOP's ideas man, but they're still bad ideas.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Check Kiting Grifter would make an awesome wrestling name.

  • VodkaGoGo

    “Basically he handed me a check with a condom in it, told me I was screwed,”

    All I have to say about this is HOLY SHIT THAT IS AWFUL.

    • HistoriCat

      How awful is it – was it a new condom or a used condom?

    • BadKitty904

      And isn't writing bad checks…illegal?

      • SorosBot

        Sure it's illegal for some peasant making minimum wage at Wal-Mart to knowingly write a bad check, but Linda McMahon is rich, those same rules don't apply to her.

        (And they were probably corporate campaign checks, so the biggest penalty would be a fine to the campaign; no one ever has to actually face legal punishment if the crime was committed by a corporate person!)

        • bikerlaureate

          So does that mean we'll never get to learn the name of the compassionate hack who donated that condom?

          • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

            Tommy Trojan? Ask a UCLA Grad

        • sullivanst

          But rut roh, it's not the little people she owes the money, it's the check cashing company who already paid the little people. They'll probably send someone over with something a little more robust than a folding chair.

  • Pragmatist2

    Anyone can create jobs. But only real entrepreneurs can create UNPAID jobs.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Just in case you didn't already believe the "R" after her name.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Hey, Linda?

    Murphy 3:16¹

    Nuff said.

    ¹Murphy 3:16 says I just whooped your ass, and that's the bottom line cuz Chris Murphy said so…

  • docterry6973

    Classy, real classy. This will certainly get her third campaign off to a rousing start.

  • Mahousu

    So, rubber [checks] and rubbers.

    [EDIT] Somebody obviously didn't read the subhead.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Twaine Don Gomes would be an excellent wrestling name.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      He could come to the ring in a cape!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    In a weird way, the people without checking accounts are lucky because they'd have to pay that money back to bank, not to mention the fees for insufficient funds. Not that I'd know anything about those fees or anything.

    Also, she is horrible. Too.

  • Lizzietish81

    And yet the black vote went overwhelmingly democrat….weird.

  • kittensdontlie

    As a long time fake-supporter of hers, where is my rubber check?!

  • MinAgain

    I'm simply devastated. Here I thought professional wrestling and its various hangers-on were such a class act.

  • BadKitty904

    I'm guessing her Christmas gift to herself, this year, will be firing Bob Cratchit and foreclosing on a few widows and orphans…

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      A.K.A. warming up for the 2013 season.

  • Goonemeritus

    Fake supporters getting paid with fake checks by a fake human being.

    • BadKitty904

      I'm sensing a pattern here…

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Fake human beings are people too, my friend.

    • PopeEdgardo

      Beat me to it. It's like the punchline from old joke about the factory workers in the Soviet Union: "They pretend to pay us and we pretend to work."

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Should be expected. Like Wrestling, the checks were fake.

  • Misty Malarky

    Are there no FEMA camps?

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The campaign workers were all takers, not makers, so what good would the money be to them anyway? Go Galt or Go Home!

    • BadKitty904

      Damned moochers…

  • Abernathy

    Finally, a coherent GOP stand on condoms. Need 'em for safe sex? Whoa there, slut! Enjoy your herpes and unwanted pregnancy. Need 'em to screw over and poop all over your employees? Take all you need!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Hmmm, making African-Americans work for no pay. That reminds me of something. Something terrible in our nation's history. What was it called?

    • bikerlaureate

      Motown?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Funk Brothers Libel!

        • bikerlaureate

          Not intended! They rule.

          A better parsing would be "making some African-Americans work for no pay," or "making African-Americans work for insutingly low pay, especially compared to the gross receipts."

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            And then leaving them high and dry by fleeing Detroit for L.A. without so much as a "thanks for the bank."

      • Negropolis

        Oh shit!

        You know, the Detroit establishment tries to remember this guy fondly, but everyday people hate him for moving Motown and never looking back. That, and when they went to tear the building down downtown that originally housed Motown, there was nary a peep from the guy. Another piece of Detroit history is gone…for a parking lot. I mean, Hitsville is nice and all, but it's not downtown and it's literally a house.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      The NCAA?

      • PopeEdgardo

        Don't the bribes ffrom the alums count?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Welfare!

      Oh wait, that was pay for no work…

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      2012?

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Jan Brewer isn't impressed. "Heads will roll!" still edges out "Checks will bounce" in the intimidation dept. — and Brewer's complexion could ice McMahon's in the ring any day.

    • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      I don't know how Jan looks in the mirror without turning herself into stone.

      • emmelemm

        It's a conundrum.

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        Unlike McMahon's expendable employees — Brewer probably pays her own Master of Disaster to do her hair and makeup, I'd think it woud be an indispensable necessity.

        • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

          Putting makeup on Jan Brewer must be like painting stucco with a brush. I'd recommend something with a good spray nozzle.

  • Thunderclees

    Twaine Don Gomes

    lol wut?

  • mavenmaven

    Funny, needing a condom for an Invisible Free Market Hand job.

  • mickeymusing

    How bizarre. Who could have ever predicted that someone whose family runs a fake wrestling empire would be so tacky?

  • not that Dewey

    Where the rubber meets the owed.

    • Isyaignert

      Dewey, that was one of the most clever comments I've read in a long time! Huzzah!!

      • not that Dewey

        : )

    • Tundra Grifter

      Very funny!

      Just how many years have you been saving that nugget?

      • not that Dewey

        How many opportunities have there been to use it?

  • Lizzietish81

    You know who else had fake supporters they later stiffed?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Ron Jeremy?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      John Edwards?

      • Tundra Grifter

        I just saw a car with a fairly new looking "John Edwards 2008" bumpersnicker.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      What was "Night of the Long Knives", Alex?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    That's what they get for not working at Walmart like real Americans!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I see she is a grduate of the Leona Helmsley School of Etiquette.

    • PopeEdgardo

      And she won the Gilles de Rais noblesse oblige prize her senior year.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Mittens is slapping himself on the forehead as he reads this.

    Yes, Mittens reads the Wonkette.

    • Lizzietish81

      Hi Willard!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Oh, I so wish he did. He could learn a lot from us, like how awful he is, for example.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I thought republicans didn't believe in contraception?

  • Barrelhse

    It would be pleasant if a mob formed and burned down her castle.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Don't count her out. Illinois finally sent Milk Magnate (and all around hateful person) Oberweis to some elected office or other, on his, I believe, seventh try.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_
      • bobbert

        There is something sort of sweet about the fact that in the election where he finally won, the Dems took veto-proof supermajorities in both houses. Have fun, Mr. Oberweis!

  • Troglodeity

    This is all a misunderstanding. The condom was a generous extension by McMahon of healthcare benefits to a former employee.

  • TootsStansbury

    Mean people suck. Karma needs to do a dance on more than just this bitch's face.

  • ttommyunger

    Wonder how many of these folk will come to the realization they've been busting their Butts for the wrong team? Lots, I hope.

  • HarryButtle

    They refused to pay him, and then THEY got pissed at HIM for going to the press?

    Assholes.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Ah, wrestling folk, they have so much to teach America about being awesome (assholes).

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Ladies and gentlemen, there's a new cunt in town.

  • StillGoinGreen

    Hey Twaine, Ummm… that ain't spit. I think it's hair gel… or something.

  • JaceWyatt

    So, yeah, I'm totally going to steal this and put a condom in my drunk, homophobic uncle's xmas card.

    Thanks, McMahon. Your campaign is good for something!

  • clecinosu

    Want your money? You've got …

    NO CHANCE! NO CHANCE IN HELL!!

  • barto

    Linda, sweetie, what's with the rubber checks? C'mon dollface, show some compassion and class, like Mr. Romney. Oh wait…

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    I hate to be so pedantic about spelling and grammar all the time, BUT….there is no W in Rasslin!

  • Tundra Grifter

    Forgive me if I've already posted this here: On the night of November 6th, after Gov. Romney had lost the election, his campaign cancelled all the credit cards issued to his workers.

    So they had to pay out-of-pocket cash for their cab rides back to their hotels.

    Dude gives empty suits a bad names.

    {PS: I think the condom in the envelope is actually pretty funny. Mean, of course, But still pretty funny.}

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Twaine Don Gomes is the best porn name this week.

  • cybermoe

    Those condom-laden checks were a Fluke.

  • Fox n Fiends

    I cannot believe that wonkette has failed to byline her as the "Connecticunt"

  • thejazzmonger

    You have to admit, Linda Mcmahon has balls.

  • Baba_NinjaCat12

    They should know Linda gives out rubber checks as dog toys.

  • Schmegeg

    $100 Million to lose in Connecticut? She could have moved to some plain state hellhole, spent $60,000, and won by 10. Smart lady.

  • Negropolis

    Who could have known that a wrestling mavin would be so uncouth?! Won't someone think of the children? Won't anyone think of the children?!

  • Negropolis

    What an ultimate Mean Girls move. I mean, if you're going to fuck someone something rotten, it's at least preferable to be creative about it, huh?

  • James Michael Curley

    Menendez is only about 4’ 11” so why not?

  • fitley

    She should share her mood with Mitt.

  • jmp109

    "I'm Linda McMahon and I disapproved those payments."