Suck It, Nate Silver! Joe Scarborough Apologizes For Nothing

Joe Scarborough, who hosts MSNBC’s morning show because the rest of MSNBC’s Obama food stamp-loving libtard talent don’t wake from their welfare-funded fortified wine benders until well after noon, is really, really sorry he conflated Nate Silver with that unwashed hillbilly “unskewed polls” guy.

And by really, really sorry, we mean he’s not sorry at all.

While most of the world has moved past the 2012 election to focus on more important things, like Ken Layne’s fun cooking blog for moms and the possible 2016 presidential candidates, Scarborough remains upset that people are so mean to him just because Nate Silver was right all along .

Just as the Beatles had the Maharishi to guide them through the tough times after the death of their manager Brian Epstein, progressives had Silver’s New York Times blog to comfort them after the first presidential debate. My liberal friends spent countless hours manically refreshing the “538” blog every three minutes or so throughout most of October seeking reassurance that President Obama would win. Water usage on the Upper West Side took a dip during that time when progressives realized that bathing regularly would keep them away from the site. Nate Silver provided cool assurance in the middle of a crazed political hothouse, and he did so by offering readers detailed numerical formats with 27 decimal points kept Democrats sane.

You probably thought the right-wingers lapping uppolitical Harvey FiersteinDick Morris’ unmitigated bullshit were the only ones who spent this past election in the fog of their own self-selected information, but no! Turns out, Upper West Side hippies sacrificed personal hygiene for the comforting and exotic mythology known as “math.” What jerks they were for using data and the scientific method to understand the election rather than listening to shrill pundits shouting TOO CLOSE TO CALL ! in a naked attempt to bolster ratings.

Still, Scarborough is sorry he doubted Silver…this time.

And just as ball players who drink beer and eat fried chicken in dugouts across America can screw up the smartest sabermatrician’s forecast, Nate Silver’s formula is sure to let his fervent admirers down from time to time. But judging from what I saw of him this morning, Nate is a grounded guy who admits as much in his book. I was too tough on him and there’s a 84.398264% chance I will be less dismissive of his good work in the future.

Scarborough is really sorry he didn’t expect Nate Silver to get so lucky with his election guesses. There, he apologized. Lay the fuck off, you guys. [ Politico ]