Suck It, Nate Silver! Joe Scarborough Apologizes For Nothing

  cool apology bro

Joe Is SadJoe Scarborough, who hosts MSNBC’s morning show because the rest of MSNBC’s Obama food stamp-loving libtard talent don’t wake from their welfare-funded fortified wine benders until well after noon, is really, really sorry he conflated Nate Silver with that unwashed hillbilly “unskewed polls” guy.

And by really, really sorry, we mean he’s not sorry at all.

While most of the world has moved past the 2012 election to focus on more important things, like Ken Layne’s fun cooking blog for moms and the possible 2016 presidential candidates, Scarborough remains upset that people are so mean to him just because Nate Silver was right all along.

Just as the Beatles had the Maharishi to guide them through the tough times after the death of their manager Brian Epstein, progressives had Silver’s New York Times blog to comfort them after the first presidential debate. My liberal friends spent countless hours manically refreshing the “538” blog every three minutes or so throughout most of October seeking reassurance that President Obama would win. Water usage on the Upper West Side took a dip during that time when progressives realized that bathing regularly would keep them away from the site. Nate Silver provided cool assurance in the middle of a crazed political hothouse, and he did so by offering readers detailed numerical formats with 27 decimal points kept Democrats sane.

You probably thought the right-wingers lapping up political Harvey Fierstein Dick Morris’ unmitigated bullshit were the only ones who spent this past election in the fog of their own self-selected information, but no! Turns out, Upper West Side hippies sacrificed personal hygiene for the comforting and exotic mythology known as “math.” What jerks they were for using data and the scientific method to understand the election rather than listening to shrill pundits shouting TOO CLOSE TO CALL! in a naked attempt to bolster ratings.

Still, Scarborough is sorry he doubted Silver…this time.

And just as ball players who drink beer and eat fried chicken in dugouts across America can screw up the smartest sabermatrician’s forecast, Nate Silver’s formula is sure to let his fervent admirers down from time to time. But judging from what I saw of him this morning, Nate is a grounded guy who admits as much in his book. I was too tough on him and there’s a 84.398264% chance I will be less dismissive of his good work in the future.

Scarborough is really sorry he didn’t expect Nate Silver to get so lucky with his election guesses. There, he apologized. Lay the fuck off, you guys. [Politico]

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Jeff Wattrick is someone whose unsolicited submissions accidentally get published on Wonkette. He also writes for Deadline Detroit, which is this thing on the internet about the Motor City.

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167 comments

  1. Barbara_

    Drunk Nate Silver runs in and out of lanes on the Jersey turnpike, pointing at cars and telling them what time they will arrive home.
    Can't remember who tweeted that. I just know I liked it.

      1. Barbara_

        Hey buddy! I'm in Vegas with Jeff. We're celebrating his 50th birthday today, come join us. Last night's partying was off the charts! Then we are having Thanksgiving with a Jew, at a Chinese restaurant and watching football. This is what the pilgrims really wanted to do all along. Jeff's Thanksgiving gift to me was to provide dinner for 500 people in need. My gift to him is going to be dinner at Craft steak with a hunk of beef that will be epic.

        Happy Thanksgiving!

        1. sewollef

          Well, counting to 21 requires more than 2 hands and 2 feet, so I can see how you messed up. That kind of shit happens to me all the time.

          I'm never without a calculator of some description.

  2. Lascauxcaveman

    For the record, BOTH Nate and the unskewed guy had perfect records this year.

    Nate: no losses
    Unskewed: no wins

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        (*Not intended to be a factual statement. I'm pretty sure even unskewed called CA, NY, HI and maybe one or two others for Bamz.)

    1. Wadisay

      If I have to live some kind of an insular, closed-loop information bubble fever swamp, I would prefer to live in the one that–you know–comports with reality.

    1. Negropolis

      It's funny, I've seen this guy in multiple interviews (he grew up in my city, in fact) and I never got the "effiminate" thing the conservatives keep heaping on him. He's a little geeky, okay, a lot geeky, but it never translated at least for me into seeing him as some flamboyant parade float.

      1. Weedlord BonerHitler

        I know from screaming queens, and Nate is def more geek than queen. Those dumb motherfuckers need to see the whole glorious Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence drag routine before they start up with their shit. Or Buck Angel.

  3. Loch_Nessosaur

    Joe Scarborough – "Nate Silver is just an ideologue for predicting anything but a tossup in the election."

    Old white man math.

  4. Pragmatist2

    Hey, at least Joe admits Obama won after the election. That's way better than a lot of Republicans.

  5. Come here a minute

    I enthusiastically applaud Republican use of "Karl Rove math" to keep losing elections. Thanks, Joe!

    1. Chet Kincaid_

      She's really turning into a 1960s oppressed wife, fleeing to the comfort of booze and pills, isn't she? Leave that loveless marriage with Joe before it's too late, Mika!!

    2. usuhname

      Love her hammy acting there "WOAH! this shit is TOO STRONG"
      …As if she doesn't have a dressing room stocked like a licquer shop

  6. Lizzietish81

    Damn! That is some pwnage! Well I guess Silver will have to comfort himself and his near perfect predictions for the last two elections using real world math.

  7. SorosBot

    "And just as ball players who drink beer and eat fried chicken in dugouts across America can screw up the smartest sabermatrician’s forecast"

    Gee I think I hear a big of a whistle there…

    (along with the description of liberals as unwashed hippies)

      1. SorosBot

        So Scarborough needs to update his stereotypes; "and just as ball players who drink tequila and eat burritos in dugouts across America…"

    1. bobbert

      This forced me to go to the original article to confirm that, yes, Joe did spell it "sabermatrician". So he can't do math and he can't spell. Good thing he's good looking.*

      *Not intended to be a factual statement.

  8. SorosBot

    But remember, MSNBC is JUST LIKE Fox News for the left; we'll just ignore the three hours given to Scarborough every morning and also pretend the he-man woman-hater Chris Matthews is somehow a liberal.

      1. HateMachine

        more like WHY WON'T THEY COVER ANYTHING ELSE?!

        It's adorable how these guys persuade themselves that somehow "the press" and "the media" don't include them, thus allowing them to complain that "nobody's covering" the thing that they've run nonstop coverage of for seven days straight. What the fuck network is "the press" even set up at?

  9. snowpointsecret

    Shorter Scarborough: Oh come on, if he was really good he wouldn't have missed the North Dakota senate race!

  10. edgydrifter

    Shorter Hannity: Sure, 2+2=4 this time, Silver, but don't get cocky. It could be anything next time. ANYTHING.

  11. snowpointsecret

    Also damn Nate Silver for going 83 for 84 when I only got 82. It's like playing basketball with God and losing in triple overtime.

  12. jodyleek

    Just like a hosed and supple latex bag, plump as a teatard's belly, filled with water and vinegar, Joe Scarborough is a douche.

  13. SayItWithWookies

    And just as ball players who drink beer and eat fried chicken in dugouts across America can screw up the smartest sabermatrician’s forecast, Nate Silver’s formula is sure to let his fervent admirers down from time to time.

    What the hell does that sentence mean?! Scarborough appears to be saying that baseball fans can screw up a mathematician's forecast in just the same way that a forecaster can get a prediction wrong. That analogy makes as much sense as saying "Just as a boat is larger than an apple, so can a horse whinny in a rainstorm."

    Maybe it's code, and somewhere some plan is right now being set in motion as a result of the information contained therein. Or maybe I'm just overthinking this and it's just Joe Scarborough saying shit without worrying whether it's nonsense. Okay, nevermind.

    ETA — oh, he says baseball players. Who — um — drink beer and eat fried chicken in the dugout? I retract the retraction of my WTF. Is Joe even familiar with baseball?

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Oh, gotcha — except of course, when the pitchers were swilling beer and eating fried chicken it was when the manager wanted them in the dugout, but they were in the clubhouse instead:

        The newspaper says that during the team's September slide, the team's top three starters – Josh Beckett, Jon Lester and John Lackey -settled into a routine of swilling brew, eating fast-food fried chicken, and playing video games in the clubhouse rather than support their struggling teammates in the dugout.

        And the article also mentions that Francona was going through marital problems and the team had morale issues, which surely weren't as significant as pitchers who weren't gonna be starting anyway not showing up to sit on the bench with their team.

        Thanks for the link — and I'm still sticking with "Joe Scarborough is an idiot."

    1. snowpointsecret

      He's actually referencing the Boston Red Sox, who in 2011 actually were having beer and fried chicken in the dugout.

      Edit: I believe we just had the Wonkette version of a double play here. Looking at when things switched over these two posts were made at the same second.

    2. Come here a minute

      I think the analogy you are looking for is, "You can carve a boat from an apple, but when you bring a horse to water it will always turn to wine."

    3. boobookitteh

      It's a Red Sox insult referring to Josh Beckett et al eating fried chicken and beer in the clubhouse as the Red Sox were epically and historically tanking in 2011.

      I'm not sure why he feels this is relevant – maybe because the Sox were 'supposed' to at least go to the World Series if not win that year? The fried chicken and beer thing was not the sole reason the Sox tanked, but were more indicative of a poorly run clubhouse.

      So, points off for bad analogy and points off for the cheap shot at the Red Sox.

      1. SorosBot

        Is is possible to take a cheap shot at the Red Sox, though? The most obnoxious team in all of sports deserves any shots it takes.

        1. boobookitteh

          The Red Sox are not obnoxious. Pathetic, perhaps. And the owners are kind of obnoxious 1%-ers who cater to Pink Hats. But the team itself is not, per se, 'obnoxious.'

          Now, the Yankees, they are obnoxious from ownership on down to the batboys.

          1. SorosBot

            The Yankees are the second most obnoxious team in baseball, yes, but they don't hold a candle to the Red Sox. Especially since Boston has the most annoying fans around.

          2. boobookitteh

            Boston has the most obnoxious fans?????? Um, have you ever been to Philly? Those fuckers throw batteries. In Boston we only throw insults and the occasional beer on obnoxious Yankee fans in the Bleachers.

          3. FNMA

            Speaking as a Philly sports fans, fuck you.
            Sure, we booed Santa Claus and pelted him with snowballs, but to be fair, he was a pretty shitty Santa Claus, and we cheered when the Cowboys' Michael Irvin lay motionless on the field at the Vet and we treated Mike Schmidt like shit, but…um…what was I saying?

        2. sullivanst

          Yankees libel!

          I'm guessing despite your Westward move you'd still object to my classification of your statement as also being Phillies libel, but fuckit I'm a Mets fan, so, Phillies libel!

    4. Veritas78

      It may refer to the Red Sox doing so much worse last year than anyone expected. But then, they went out of their way.

  14. CrunchyKnee

    Are you going to Scarborough fair?
    Wingnuts, rage, rosemary and fortified wine.
    Remember me to one who rages there, he once was a true love of Bush.

  15. Defeatably_Joe

    It's almost like Joe Scarborough is an innumerate morong who doesn't understand the difference between MARGINS and PROBABILITIES (though actually Barry's margin was better than George "Dubya" "I Have a Mandate" "Let's Go Torture Some Browns" Bush's in 2004), and also has a vested interest in pretending that this race was super-close, for ratings, even if it meant completely failing as an even pretend journalist in the process.

  16. BloviateMe

    Scarborough so desperately wants to be one of the cool kids, and sit at the cool table.

    Sorry, nerd. Seat's taken.

  17. Callyson

    And there’s a 84.398264% chance I will be more dismissive of Morning Joe's work in the future…

    …fuck it, make it a 100% chance.

    Also–happy Thanksgiving, Wonketteers!

  18. HRH_Maddie

    "And just as ball players who drink beer and eat fried chicken in dugouts across America"

    I like how Joe managed to get a racist barb in right after his "sorry I'm not sorry" apology.

    1. kittensdontlie

      More correct baseball racism: Eat chimichangas, pull their somberos over their eyes and drift off to sleep.

    1. Negropolis

      Well, he's certainly letting Joe live longer than the girl that Congressman Joe killed in the 90's…allegedly, with votes.

  19. Weenus299

    Didn't that cat run for congress and win or something? With like a heavy conservative majority? In Florida? And didn't he serve eight years? I can't remember. He should talk more about being in congress 12 years ago, in the Newt Gingrich era, because that time before extraneous military bullshit abroad and bank tanking is really relevant now.

  20. jello_mold

    snark off – it really pissed me off that Nate Silver's credibility was attacked on the basis of his "effeminacy" and that he "wears glasses." WTF?! that is some kind of Pol Pot shit there. No rest for the wicked – ie truly evil.

    1. Weedlord BonerHitler

      What *else* could they have attacked him on? He *had* the facts. The math. The winning model.

      That's why these maroons have to resort to terms of endearment like Nigger, Bitch, Cunt, Fag, etc. Knowing Nate was openly gay just gave them a club to beat him with.

    2. Pithaughn

      Oh J E L L O ( sung in a sing song voice ), they attack every messenger. However the last R to do the attack with any flair was Spiro Agnew.

  21. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "he did so by offering readers detailed numerical formats with 27 decimal points"

    Numbers, how do they fucking work?

    1. CommieDad

      Numbers are a simple shortcut used to express the size of a set. For example, instead of ordering "Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Fry. Fry. Cheeseburger. Fry. Coke. Coke. Coke. Coke," I can say, give me 3 hamburgers, 3 fries, a Cheeseburger, and 4 Cokes. We have simplified this even further to: please give me a number 47.

      1. FeloniousMonk

        Scarborough thinks they are. In reality his pathetic attempts to be funny by pretending Silver claimed absurd precision scream "I am an innumerate slob who's scared of math".

  22. Tio_Doidinho

    One wonders how much money Scarsborough lost betting against Nate Silver/Reality/Math.

    I hope it was a lot.

  23. Mumbletypeg

    I don't need to be Nate Silver to predict a rising output of half-apologies/ quasi-walkbacks from pundits like this as they realize their soiled panties got snagged while self-defenestrating through that shifty Overton window.

  24. mavenmaven

    Conservatives don't need to "read" or "get information"; they simply await the mantra they are meant to recite over and over again, received from the same sacred source.

  25. MissTaken

    Scarborough and Starbucks.

    There is a 97.4567816348% chance that I will continue to be dismissive of their shitty work in the future.

    1. CommieDad

      There is a 2.5432183652% chance you would drink Starbucks coffee? You are brave.

      Also, Scarborough has a 0% chance I will watch his show. Too.

  26. sullivanst

    Don't tell Blow Hardborough, but Nate getting all 50 states right was actually a failure for him, according to the probabilities he cited, he really should have gotten at least some states wrong. His model doubted itself too much.

  27. Pat_Pending

    So in conservatard world, Gay = wrong. Nate Silver = Gay. Therefore, Nate Silver is wrong. Fuck those stats and outcomes, kidz!

    1. Defeatably_Joe

      Well now he's basically saying that the reason his unskewing was wrong was that he forgot to account for all of the MASSIVE FRAUD, so it's sort of like the opposite of an apology.

  28. jello_mold

    OT: as a newbie may I say – the Wonketteersphere is in fine form this morning (PST)! lotsa LOLs….thanks everybody!

  29. Wilcoxyz

    So progressives should be mocked for consulting a wildly accurate forecasting site. Guess that makes it cooler to be wrong and do your job dishonestly. Who says the Bush years ended?

  30. GoodDogThor

    Does MSNBC deduct a stupidity tax from his paycheck?

    The term 'tax and spend' liberals apparently does not apply, since they are not willing to spend more on a host who is not a moron…

  31. Chet Kincaid_

    Following this 2012 pwning, Joe Scarborough should be the first of the wingnuts "going with his gut" by committing seppuku, followed by Karl Rove. Or maybe Rove first. The point is, honor demands it!!

  32. MinAgain

    Just wait until Nate starts collecting data and doing math and predicting penis size. We'll see who's laughing then.

  33. VodkaGoGo

    progressives had Silver’s New York Times blog

    I hate to split hairs here but shouldn't it be "progressives had Nate Silvers blog, on loan to The New York Times"? Afterall it's Silver lending his credibility to the NYT, not the other way around. Just sayin'

  34. Rowen

    Joe Scarborough is one of the biggest tone trolls on TV. The shitty thing is that his show is better than the other shit that my gym has available in the mornings.

  35. Tommmcatt_Again

    ..Oh! somewhere in our commie land the sun is shining bright;
    The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.
    And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
    But there's no joy in wingnuttia…
    … Mitt the douchebag, he struck out…

    Their tears, they nourish my soul. Sob over here on my left knee, Scarbourough, it helps with my liberal rhumatiz' …

    .

  36. crisptickle

    Nate's blog was not very comforting for much of October: even Nate's confidence in an Obama win was in free fall. It went down by 26% in 8 days, to a low of 61%.

  37. Pithaughn

    Joe, hate to break it to you, but only in K- 12 are the jocks cool and the nerds just have to suck it. 12- 122 the nerds are just as cool as the bees knees.

  38. Walkinwiddaking

    "Just as the Beatles had the Maharishi to guide them through the tough times after the death of their manager Brian Epstein, progressives had Silver’s New York Times blog to comfort them after the first presidential debate"

    Wow, that's pretty heavy man.

  39. DemonicRage

    I used to watch Morning Joe, until I started to develop a very negative response to Joe Scarborough's need to explain everything by referring back to his Congressional days. He also has a way of pitching questions to one of the male table mates, every time that Mika B. is trying to make an independent verbal point. And I also realized, at a certain point, that I didn't really care what this week's cover of Time Magazine is. They always roll out that editor and disclose the cover, like it was really big news.

  40. Negropolis

    Wine benders? What snobs, this Wonkette! I'll have you know our food stamps are used for the purchase of factory-mass-produced piss-beer, thank you very much.

  41. Negropolis

    Just as the Beatles had the Maharishi to guide them through the tough times after the death of their manager Brian Epstein, progressives had Silver’s New York Times blog to comfort them after the first presidential debate.

    Yeah, but Brian Epstein is still dead, right? Our president is still very much resurrected and alive.

    BTW, are there any actual hippies in the Upper West Side? The ones that could possibly live on the street don't count.

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