class traitors

Stupid Old Joe Biden Takes Thanksgiving Vacation, Is Stupid

Dr. Jill and Vice President Joe Biden host Thanksgiving dinnerDumb Joe Biden, what have you done now!!! Keith Koffler, of White House Dossier, is here to tell us in the excellent journalistic scoop “’Middle Class Joe’ Takes Thanksgiving on Nantucket.”

Vice President Biden, who thinks of himself as middle class and self-identifies with average Americans, embarked Tuesday for the exclusive resort island of Nantucket, where he and his family spend Thanksgiving every year.

Oh shit, son, you got PWNED!

But is there more? Sure, why not. In fact, here is the whole thing so you don’t have to hurt your clicky finger:

According to Nantucket’s Inquirer and Mirror, it’s the 36th straight year the Biden clan has celebrated the holiday on the island.

Biden used to journey by boat from Hyannis – the ritzy island enclave where President Obama vacations during summer – to Nantucket for Turkey Day, the newspaper reports. But as vice president he descends from the clouds at taxpayer expense aboard Air Force Two.

Biden, who along with his wife Jill earned $379,000 in 2011, proclaimed himself in a speech this past July to be a member of the middle class:

For middle class folks like me and most of you, owning a home is maybe the single most consequential element of our existence to be able to provide for our families.

Biden was employed by the Obama 2012 campaign as kind of an ambassador to the working class, presented as an “average Joe” from Scranton, Pennsylvania who says what’s on his mind.

Well, it’s no “Michelle Obama wears CLOTHES” or “Michelle Obama’s mother gets free food and electricity and HER LAUNDRY DONE by taxpayers!” but we suppose it will have to do. FOR SHAME OLD HANDSOME JOE BIDEN. For FUCKING SHAME.

[WhiteHouseDossier, via Drudge, of course]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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      1. Callyson

        The teabagger replied "Well, I've got Lindsey Graham and Mr. Crazy Eyes on tonight's schedule: how does next Monday afternoon work for you?"

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      That would be about 16 kinds of awesome, with the athletic Dr. Jill waterskiing the whole distance.

  1. BaldarTFlagass

    I know that Dick Cheney, when he was veep, would eat all of his Thanksgiving meals at the homeless shelters, so I see their point.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Well, I think they actually flew in Iraqi orphan filets, marinated and quick-seared over hot mesquite.

        1. Lizzietish81

          Oh nothing so gauche.

          He would eat finally cooked juicy turkey, marinated in the finest cranberry wine…while the homeless looked on from the other side of a bullet proof glass.

      1. WIDTAP

        I really find this objectionable. After shooting all of those lawyers in the field, he lets them go to waste and eats homeless instead. For shame.

    1. CthuNHu

      No they wouldn't. They'd call him a welfare cheat.

      It's when the Vice President of the United States of America has the gall to show up somewhere he might run into one-percenty job creators that they get outraged over his elitist uppitiness.

  2. actor212

    I haz a sad for OHJB. Imagine being called out because you wanted to sneak away to one of the most visible vacation spots on the American coastline…

    1. greenloner

      While we're on the subject, Hyannis is not an "island enclave." An enclave maybe, but not an island.

    1. kittensdontlie

      ♫ What do the simple folk do
      To help them escape when they're blue?
      The shepard who is ailing, the milkmaid who is glum
      The cobbler who is wailing from nailing his thumb
      When they're beset and besieged
      The folk not noblessly obliged
      However do they manage to shed their weary lot?
      Oh, what do simple folk do we do not? ♪

    2. bikerlaureate

      You just know the Secret Service would vastly prefer that over them using Air Force Two to go somewhere without huge crowds…

  3. MinAgain

    See, this is Joe's problem. If he had just left for his vacation to Hyannis without saying anything, no one would have noticed.

    1. Veritas78

      Anybody actually BEEN to Nantucket around now? It's a windswept, cold, flat, leafless little island with cheap rates. So good on Handsome Joe for scooping up a bargain, but he'll want to stay indoors.

      Except for the raw, fast, walk-on-the-beach with Dr. Jill, after which I hopes he fucks her silly in front of a roaring fire. With votes!

  4. boobookitteh

    Hyannis – the ritzy island enclave where President Obama vacations during summer

    LOL, wut? Hyannis is a tourist trap dump. Also, Nantucket is hardly exclusive. They have ferries and they let middle class peons like myself on them all the time.

    Also, too, it's Off-Season, bitches.

    1. Joshua Norton

      Ain't that the truth. I lived on Cape Cod for 10 years. Anything on the south Rte 28 side is strictly tourist trap city. A perfect storm of congestion and gridlock during the summer because of all the junk souvenir shops and fast-food joints that are everywhere.

    2. sullivanst

      Yeah, off-season, when a couple of minutes Googling finds you a decent-looking 4-bed cottage at $1,500/wk, or well below hotel rates pretty much anywhere on the Eastern seaboard.

    3. Lizzietish81

      the school I went to has a research station there and had classes over the summer. I went there (during the 2004 election cycle cause there was all this talk about John Kerry windsurfing) for a two week class. We ate cheap pasta but saved our money for beer!

    4. thebeatgoeson

      They didn't even get the Hyannis part right. The ferry departs from there, but Obama spends his time on Martha's Vineyard, not Hyannis. Hyannis ain't no island.

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    "he descends from the clouds at taxpayer expense…"

    …even when there ain't a cloud in the sky, amirite?

    1. SorosBot

      But, see, in our media world, it's somehow hypocritical for politicians who support policies to help the poor and the working class to have themselves. No I don't get it either.

  6. gullywompr

    I really don't understand the whole point of the "Obama administration spends extravagently" meme. Just to get trailer trash to hate them, perchance?

    And uh, nice cups ya got there, Trix.

      1. gullywompr

        No really, what is it? Blahs got all our moneez? If so, why throw Joe in the mix? Just for reinforcement of the original meme? I haz a confused.

        1. WhatTheHolyHeck

          Yes, them uppity browns in OUR WHITE HOUSE, acting like royalty, spending our money on their lavish lifestyle, etc. etc.

          It's an epic planetary alignment of racist memes: Welfare Queen meets Lazy Nigger meets Affirmative Action Hurts Rightfully Superior Whites.

        2. Geminisunmars

          Allow me to translate (I speak dogwhistle fluently): "You wanna see some real hypocrisy? These people pretend to be poors, so you poors will like them, but they are actually elites, so you poors should really hate them."

          1. gullywompr

            Well, maybe I shouldn't expect them to make much sense, but Obama never pretends to be poor – when talking about tax increases on upper incomes, he always says "So guys like me wil have to pay a little more". This is the first time I've come across the same accusation of Biden, however, and because the right is not very origianl, it seems to be a continuation of their old "Mooshell spend like a pig" meme. I guess it was time to twist it a little.

      1. VodkaGoGo

        Auto-correct has completely destroyed my ability to accurately assess if my spelling is correct. Also, it's spelled "grammer"

  7. Serolf_Divad

    Salt-of-the-earth evreryman George W. Bush spent Thanksgiving waiting tables at a fancy restaurant near Annapolis before rushing home to the White House to make it just in time for the family's late Thanksgiving dinner.

  8. anniegetyerfun

    Dudes, I've been to Nantucket. It's not all that. Now, if you told me he was brunching at The Phoenician in Scottsdale, I might be, like, "That's a little hoity toity." But fucking Nantucket?

    1. karlamarx

      me, too! yer right! nantucket is not all that. (although if you judge a place as having a nice, easy vibe, is picturesque, and has good food as being exclusive, then it is.)

  9. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Unlike all republicans who will enjoy thanksgiving either curled in the fetal position or getting buttfucked by their pool boys. In either scenario they are crying loudly and calling for their mommy.

  10. Come here a minute

    The biggest problem with Thanksgiving on Nantucket is how hard it is to find a homeless shelter or soup kitchen to fake volunteer at.

  11. Callyson

    Biden, who along with his wife Jill earned $379,000 in 2011, proclaimed himself in a speech this past July to be a member of the middle class

    Yeah, because it's a bad thing if someone from the middle class becomes successful in life, but still remembers where he came from.


  12. Abernathy

    Well, I never. The Bidens have their "own places for that," too? Who do they think they are, the Romneys?

  13. SorosBot

    He flew there in Air Force 2? Man, you'd almost think the Vice President was required to travel with his extensive security detail or something.

    1. T3rbo

      He should have just rowed a boat over there, like every vp before him ever has done, wearing a fake mustache

    2. MegPasadena

      Remember during the campaign, Mittens criticized Obama as elitist and out of touch because he lives in a giant white mansion and jets around the country for fun? Seriously.

  14. VodkaGoGo

    Was Nantucket the setting for One Crazy Summer? This line of thinking has made me realize how much I want there to be an 80's movie about yacht racing starring Uncle Joe Biden. Or any 80's teen comedy premise starring Old Handsome Joe.

  15. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I'm sure mittens is scarfing down an early dinner so he and the rest of his family can get to their jobs at Walmart and Target. You know, like the rest of America.

  16. SexySmurf

    But as vice president he descends from the clouds at taxpayer expense aboard Air Force Two.

    Well, he can't drive his Trans-Am there. Unless he does some bad-ass jump off the dock onto a garbage barge, which would be awesome and Awesome Old Joe should totally do that.

  17. SorosBot

    Isn't Martha's Vineyard the more exclusive and ritzy of the two islands there? Not that it's all rich people there either. Besides, Nantucket was where Wings took place, so it's filled with salt-of-the-Earth real Americans like the Sandman and that obsessive-compulsive detective.

  18. kyeshinka

    Like Real Mericuns, I'm going to spend my Thanksgiving, a.k.a "Um, You're Welcome, Ingrate Indians" at Wal Mart watching the Hoverround derby shouting at the poors unionists they should be lucky to be working in God's Greatest Country on Earth. Freedom and such.

    1. T3rbo

      ha, yes.
      "Sirs, I am sorry to have to interrupt you," announced Koffler, "but Joe Biden seems to be taking an extravagant vacation in Nantucket this day."
      There erupted a great din of caviar forks rudely clinking against plates, top hats falling to the floor, and Tiffany glassware being dropped. The men, peering at Koffler through their monocles, were in shock.
      "Our proud republic, what has happened to her?" cried out one billionaire.
      "A waste of our sacred taxpayer money!" shrieked a concubine.
      "Sirs! Ladies! We must not let this injustice ruin the festivities-let us not think about the waste" pleaded Koffler. "I propose a toast, to our brave troops in Afghanistan…"

    1. Lizzietish81

      No shit, I got into a fight with some of the old townies on Facebook because they were posting pictures of Obama not putting his hand over his heart during a salute as proof that he shouldn't have been re elected.

  19. T3rbo

    What a waste of ink or protons or whatever the internet runs on. Can't the right just come up with a standard "Fuck Joe Biden, I hate him, waaah" piece that they can run at times like this? Like "Joe Biden is on vacation, fuck that guy. Waah." Do we really have to be told that the vice president can't just travel around on a skateboard wherever he wants to go? Joe Biden can't just take the fucking ferry, it would be like planning the Normandy invasion due to the size of the official and unofficial entourage because he is the fucking Vice President of the United States of fucking America.

    1. CrunchyKnee

      Although the mental picture of Ole Handsome Joe busting a 360 nollie down a 6 set is entertaining. Skate and destroy, indeed.

  20. Lazy Media

    Our Veep loved to visit Nantucket
    Eating oysters and clams by the bucket
    Said the wily old pol,
    As he massaged one ball
    "Yo, haterz, deez nuts, you can suck it!"

  21. Kid_Charlemagne

    It would have been far more cost-effective if Joe had simply parachuted from Airforce One wearing a star-spangled jumpsuit.

    1. T3rbo

      Fucking typical big government liberal-why can't the vice president jump out of his own god damned airplane?

      1. Negropolis

        Well, he is from Wilmington and uses public transit to get to work, so I wouldn't be surprised to find out he's a secret blah.

  22. Come here a minute

    Didn't Vice President Old Handsome Joe Biden have to stand by in a secure location in case the president was unable to perform his official duties at the turkey pardoning?

    1. Tommy1733

      We are entering into a glorious new Age of Butthurt unprecedented in the world – we are lucky to be alive at this exciting time.

  23. Defeatably_Joe

    So the outrage seems to mainly be that Joe Biden, like most politicians, is a pretend middle-class person, only he actually comes from a middle-class background (as does the preznit) and also not actually that far outside the pretend upper limit of the middle class, $250,000.

    But it's TOTALLY OFFENSIVE for Biden to pretend to be middle-class, because he's not even unemployed, like Mitt Romney, for Pete's sake!

  24. TootsStansbury

    The Bidens they went to Nantucket
    The right took a shit in a bucket
    Matt Drudge held a grudge
    Their opinions don't budge
    If there was a chicken they'd fuck it

  25. Lizzietish81

    Wow, this guy must have been livid over Bush spending billions of dollars on wars and contracts for his friends….

    1. T3rbo

      Hell no, don't you remember when Bush carried around a fake turkey in a dining hall in Iraq, FOR THE TROOPS?

  26. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Air Force Two is basically a 757 — I doubt they actually fly it into Nantucket. So Biden probably flies in on a small commuter jet, dubbed "Air Force Two" only because the Veep is on board. No more royal than what Mitt flies around on every fucking day.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Well, Wiki says it's Massachusetts' second busiest airport after Logan, and there used to be regularly scheduled DC-9 service. DC-9 wasn't too much smaller than a 757, and the primary airstrip is over 6,000 feet long, so AF2 certainly could land there.

        1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

          It's possible the runway was made extra long to accommodate emergency landings from intercontinental flights. There are some really small towns on the west coast with insanely large runways for just that purpose.

    1. mackensie

      It is in fact a 757 and it did in fact take off and land here on Nantucket a couple of times. Plus, there were two Air Force C-17s here as well. Ginormous!

  27. SayItWithWookies

    "Biden, who along with his wife Jill earned $379,000 in 2011, proclaimed himself in a speech this past July to be a member of the middle class…"

    Hmm — that figure seems familiar. Oh yeah, wasn't $300,000-something how much Mitt made from his speeches alone in the single year we have a complete tax return for? I remember him saying it wasn't much. So are they complaining that the Bidens are rich, or that they're just parvenus who haven't earned the right to vacation on Nantucket?

  28. mackensie

    Wow, there's so much wrong with this article! Not the least of which is ritzy Hyannis… lol.. of course Obama vaca's on Martha's Vineyard. Hyannis could easily be described as a restroom enroute to paradise. Between the tweakers and the gang-bangers, the traffic, the crappy mall… Hyannis got nothin'.

    Now, I have lived on Nantucket off and on since the 50s so I think I got a pretty good perspective of the place. People know what it's like in the summer – great weather, great beaches, on and on. But the off-season is really special as well. The snobs of August are gone, and what's left are the people who love the place, who struggle with mortgages and finding work, pay amazingly high prices for basics (gas is currently around $4.70/gal). Biden knows this place and its beauty and we enjoy having him here. There's virtually no disruption in town, the whole group is low key. He can go christmas shopping with his grand kids quite easily. There are no crowd sweeps or magnetometers or pat downs. You can go up to him and take a picture. He may sit on a Main St bench and chit-chat. (trust me, the security is immense – it's just not obtrusive). I really really get tired of people whining about the president or VP taking a break. They certainly didn't whine about Dubya's constant presence in Texas.

  29. pdiddycornchips

    Meanwhile, Mitt and his mini-me, Paul Ryan, will spend the holiday at their hollowed out volcano somewhere off the Canary islands.

  30. Lot_49

    How does this article fail to mention the "Kennedy compound" at Hyannis? Republicans lerve to hate on the Kennedys, even after all these years.

  31. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Yes, but did he ride in the backseat of a fighter plane that landed on an aircraft carrier and falsely declare a war was over? Because anyone who did something like that at taxpayer's expense would be a real asshole.

  32. Pap Finn

    My pat answer to all Republican whinging, ever: you grunting, nit-studded, filth-encrusted early hominids inflicted Dubya on the world, so shut the fuck up. The End.

  33. Thunderclees

    Biden used to journey by boat from Hyannis – the ritzy island enclave where President Obama vacations during summer

    Hyannis isn't an island. Martha's Vineyard is. EXCELLENT JOURNAMALISM, WHITE HOUSE DOSSIER GUY!

    Ted Kennedy goes and dies and suddenly right-wingers can't remember if America's first family of communism lives on an island or the mainland, sheesh you guys.

    1. commiegirl99

      Yes. YES I AM. Updated with actual pictures of the cups by the way! Did you know there are hats too? MY GOD, HATS AND CUPS!!!

  34. cybermoe

    So what they're sayin' is if Palin/Ryan had won the job they would've taken a big pay cut to be more like 'real' Americans. $379k is the new 47% for these chicken fuckers.

  35. mackensie

    This did in fact happen: I was driving in downtown Nantucket yesterday and Biden was standing on the corner. I yelled out the window: "Hey Mr Vice President! Kill the supermajority in the Senate!" and my companion yelled, "No more cloture!"

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