CLASS TRAITORS  12:06 pm November 21, 2012

Stupid Old Joe Biden Takes Thanksgiving Vacation, Is Stupid

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Dr. Jill and Vice President Joe Biden host Thanksgiving dinnerDumb Joe Biden, what have you done now!!! Keith Koffler, of White House Dossier, is here to tell us in the excellent journalistic scoop “’Middle Class Joe’ Takes Thanksgiving on Nantucket.”

Vice President Biden, who thinks of himself as middle class and self-identifies with average Americans, embarked Tuesday for the exclusive resort island of Nantucket, where he and his family spend Thanksgiving every year.

Oh shit, son, you got PWNED!

But is there more? Sure, why not. In fact, here is the whole thing so you don’t have to hurt your clicky finger:

According to Nantucket’s Inquirer and Mirror, it’s the 36th straight year the Biden clan has celebrated the holiday on the island.

Biden used to journey by boat from Hyannis – the ritzy island enclave where President Obama vacations during summer – to Nantucket for Turkey Day, the newspaper reports. But as vice president he descends from the clouds at taxpayer expense aboard Air Force Two.

Biden, who along with his wife Jill earned $379,000 in 2011, proclaimed himself in a speech this past July to be a member of the middle class:

For middle class folks like me and most of you, owning a home is maybe the single most consequential element of our existence to be able to provide for our families.

Biden was employed by the Obama 2012 campaign as kind of an ambassador to the working class, presented as an “average Joe” from Scranton, Pennsylvania who says what’s on his mind.

Well, it’s no “Michelle Obama wears CLOTHES” or “Michelle Obama’s mother gets free food and electricity and HER LAUNDRY DONE by taxpayers!” but we suppose it will have to do. FOR SHAME OLD HANDSOME JOE BIDEN. For FUCKING SHAME.

[WhiteHouseDossier, via Drudge, of course]

 

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{ 248 comments }

nounverb911 November 21, 2012 at 12:08 pm

There once was a Veep on Nantucket….

actor212 November 21, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Who told the Teabagger, "Go…"

freakishlywrong November 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Sucket?

MinAgain November 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

The 'bagger was shocked…

freakishlywrong November 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

He went off half-cocked..

MinAgain November 21, 2012 at 12:37 pm

And had to unzip his pants to retuck it.

actor212 November 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

To be so defrocked

Tommy1733 November 21, 2012 at 1:10 pm

And then he kicked the bucket (with votes)

TribecaMike November 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm

When his jaw got socked…

MinAgain November 21, 2012 at 1:20 pm

He was way too slow/fat/old to duck it.

Mahousu November 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

"… read the Constitution. It doesn't say what you think it says."

Callyson November 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm

The teabagger replied "Well, I've got Lindsey Graham and Mr. Crazy Eyes on tonight's schedule: how does next Monday afternoon work for you?"

Negropolis November 22, 2012 at 2:26 am

Who heard conservative criticism and said "fuck it."

BaldarTFlagass November 21, 2012 at 12:09 pm

I think he borrows George HW Bush's cigarette boat to get there.

Lascauxcaveman November 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm

That would be about 16 kinds of awesome, with the athletic Dr. Jill waterskiing the whole distance.

larrykat November 21, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Much too pedestrian for Biden – he probably has a cigar boat.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Sometimes a cigar boat is just a cigar boat.

chicken_thief November 21, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Complete with O'Queef hookers and blow?

BaldarTFlagass November 21, 2012 at 12:10 pm

I know that Dick Cheney, when he was veep, would eat all of his Thanksgiving meals at the homeless shelters, so I see their point.

Mahousu November 21, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Of course, he was actually eating the homeless at those meals.

BaldarTFlagass November 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Well, I think they actually flew in Iraqi orphan filets, marinated and quick-seared over hot mesquite.

Lizzietish81 November 21, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Oh nothing so gauche.

He would eat finally cooked juicy turkey, marinated in the finest cranberry wine…while the homeless looked on from the other side of a bullet proof glass.

Abernathy November 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Surely not all of them. Some he may have been sizing up as prey for his annual hobo hunt.

BlueStateLibel November 21, 2012 at 1:17 pm

No, just draining the blood from them.

anniegetyerfun November 21, 2012 at 12:19 pm

True, but he was actually eating the homeless.

ETA: Fuck it, I'm too slow.

WIDTAP November 21, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I really find this objectionable. After shooting all of those lawyers in the field, he lets them go to waste and eats homeless instead. For shame.

PopeEdgardo November 21, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Can't blame him. I hear old Republican lawyers are stingy and full of gristle.

Lascauxcaveman November 21, 2012 at 12:20 pm

I think I see what you did there.

ChillBill November 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Joe could show up in his Firebird at Walmart, on Black Friday and Wingnuts would still call him an "elitist."

anniegetyerfun November 21, 2012 at 12:19 pm

"He just done drove on up in a CAR. Not no Hoverround like us real Murkans."

Biel_ze_Bubba November 21, 2012 at 12:45 pm

If the GOP economy really sets in, owning a fucking car will be an upper-class luxury.

bikerlaureate November 21, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Or, for that matter, a car that isn't comfortable in which to fuck, too, also.

Chow Yun Flat November 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

You mean he isn't? A lot of GILFs are going to be disappointed.

twoeightnine November 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Well yeah, it's a Firebird.

CthuNHu November 22, 2012 at 7:44 pm

No they wouldn't. They'd call him a welfare cheat.

It's when the Vice President of the United States of America has the gall to show up somewhere he might run into one-percenty job creators that they get outraged over his elitist uppitiness.

kissawookiee November 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm

In Handsome Joe's defense, he was basing his middle class status on the incontrovertible fact that 370-ish large is not very much money at all.

freakishlywrong November 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Fuck you whinging poopy diaper babies, you lost. Get over it. You're embarrassing yourselves.

PopeEdgardo November 21, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Hasn't stopped them before.

actor212 November 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm

I haz a sad for OHJB. Imagine being called out because you wanted to sneak away to one of the most visible vacation spots on the American coastline…

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 12:20 pm

How dare he!

Serolf_Divad November 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm

You know who else had an island enclave…

actor212 November 21, 2012 at 12:13 pm
AngryBlakGuy November 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm

…Dr. Evil

nounverb911 November 21, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Dr. No?

Lascauxcaveman November 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I was gonna say 'Dr. Who,' but then I thought, no.

trampndirtdown November 21, 2012 at 11:29 pm

There could be one inside the TARDIS you never know.

MissTaken November 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Mitt Romney?

Wait, no, that was his money's island enclave.

actor212 November 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm
anniegetyerfun November 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Dr. Moreau?

BaldarTFlagass November 21, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Ernst Stavro Blofeld in "You Only Live Twice"?

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Mr. Roarke?

Tommmcatt_Again November 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Don Ho?

elviouslyqueer November 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Ida Ho?

actor212 November 21, 2012 at 12:42 pm

We know, sir. We know.

elviouslyqueer November 21, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Well, fiddle dee dee, suh!

eggsacklywright November 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Captain Nemo, aka James Mason.

TribecaMike November 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Keith Richards?

ChillBill November 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Ricardo Montalban?

CthuNHu November 22, 2012 at 7:46 pm

With Herve Villechaise as proto-Mini-Me.

larrykat November 21, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Dole Pineapple?

BaldarTFlagass November 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Marlon Brando?

HistoriCat November 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

The Misfit Toys?

Come here a minute November 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

The Hawaiian/Kenyan Usurper?

not that Dewey November 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

The Dharma Initiative?

MinAgain November 21, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Genetically modified dinosaurs?

FlipFlopFuck November 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Gilligan?

Lizzietish81 November 21, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Napolean

chicken_thief November 21, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I hate that ice cream. It doesn't deserve its own island.

bikerlaureate November 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Neopolitician?

FlipFlopFuck November 21, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Darwin?

SuspectedDemocrat November 21, 2012 at 12:58 pm
natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 21, 2012 at 1:14 pm

The Prisoner?

Negropolis November 22, 2012 at 2:29 am

Dr. No? Richard Branson?

greenloner November 22, 2012 at 3:25 pm

While we're on the subject, Hyannis is not an "island enclave." An enclave maybe, but not an island.

GregComlish November 22, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Wonder Woman?

CrunchyKnee November 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Shit, Cheney would just cold shoot a dude in the face for Thanksgiving, talk about "real american."

freakishlywrong November 21, 2012 at 12:15 pm

And not even eat him!

widestanceromance November 21, 2012 at 12:37 pm

That's what roving gangs of hungry poors are for.

Native_of_SL_UT November 21, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Why can't Joe just spend Thanksgiving camping in the Best Buy parking lot like real Americans do?

kittensdontlie November 21, 2012 at 1:10 pm

♫ What do the simple folk do
To help them escape when they're blue?
The shepard who is ailing, the milkmaid who is glum
The cobbler who is wailing from nailing his thumb
When they're beset and besieged
The folk not noblessly obliged
However do they manage to shed their weary lot?
Oh, what do simple folk do we do not? ♪

bikerlaureate November 21, 2012 at 1:13 pm

You just know the Secret Service would vastly prefer that over them using Air Force Two to go somewhere without huge crowds…

MinAgain November 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm

See, this is Joe's problem. If he had just left for his vacation to Hyannis without saying anything, no one would have noticed.

Lascauxcaveman November 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm

That's what you get for actually being worth more than a bucket of warm piss.

Veritas78 November 21, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Anybody actually BEEN to Nantucket around now? It's a windswept, cold, flat, leafless little island with cheap rates. So good on Handsome Joe for scooping up a bargain, but he'll want to stay indoors.

Except for the raw, fast, walk-on-the-beach with Dr. Jill, after which I hopes he fucks her silly in front of a roaring fire. With votes!

CthuNHu November 22, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Early and often!

boobookitteh November 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Hyannis – the ritzy island enclave where President Obama vacations during summer

LOL, wut? Hyannis is a tourist trap dump. Also, Nantucket is hardly exclusive. They have ferries and they let middle class peons like myself on them all the time.

Also, too, it's Off-Season, bitches.

actor212 November 21, 2012 at 12:19 pm

In fairness, this guy probably only knows Nantucket from the limerick

BaldarTFlagass November 21, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Although I doubt if they will let him drive his Trans Am on the island.

Joshua Norton November 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Ain't that the truth. I lived on Cape Cod for 10 years. Anything on the south Rte 28 side is strictly tourist trap city. A perfect storm of congestion and gridlock during the summer because of all the junk souvenir shops and fast-food joints that are everywhere.

BaldarTFlagass November 21, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Mmm, salt water taffy.

Maman November 21, 2012 at 12:45 pm

off-season was my first thought. And we all know how delightful November weather is up north!

sullivanst November 21, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Yeah, off-season, when a couple of minutes Googling finds you a decent-looking 4-bed cottage at $1,500/wk, or well below hotel rates pretty much anywhere on the Eastern seaboard.

Lizzietish81 November 21, 2012 at 12:58 pm

the school I went to has a research station there and had classes over the summer. I went there (during the 2004 election cycle cause there was all this talk about John Kerry windsurfing) for a two week class. We ate cheap pasta but saved our money for beer!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 21, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Priorities!

thebeatgoeson November 22, 2012 at 12:03 pm

They didn't even get the Hyannis part right. The ferry departs from there, but Obama spends his time on Martha's Vineyard, not Hyannis. Hyannis ain't no island.

BaldarTFlagass November 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm

"he descends from the clouds at taxpayer expense…"

…even when there ain't a cloud in the sky, amirite?

actor212 November 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

We pay to have clouds put there. We built that!

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

No "chariot of fire"?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 21, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Eh … it's getting up to the clouds that costs a lot. You can almost glide down for free.

CthuNHu November 22, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Air Force Two doesn't land. Joe just jumps out over Hyannis in a wingsuit.

Oblios_Cap November 21, 2012 at 12:15 pm

That's really not a big fucking deal.

mavenmaven November 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm

And even worse, he is willing to pay taxes on his earnings!

ManchuCandidate November 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Joe is rich… but then again he's not advocating economic policies that only embiggen him and his buddies.

CrunchyKnee November 21, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Indeed, that is a perfectly cromulent point.

karlamarx November 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

and i'm stealing "cromulent." you know it's a great word when lisa simpson is used as a reference.

SorosBot November 21, 2012 at 12:21 pm

But, see, in our media world, it's somehow hypocritical for politicians who support policies to help the poor and the working class to have themselves. No I don't get it either.

karlamarx November 21, 2012 at 12:29 pm

i'm stealing "embiggen."

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

From the Simpsons.

SuspectedDemocrat November 21, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Simpsons did it! Simpsons did it!

gullywompr November 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm

I really don't understand the whole point of the "Obama administration spends extravagently" meme. Just to get trailer trash to hate them, perchance?

And uh, nice cups ya got there, Trix.

WhatTheHolyHeck November 21, 2012 at 12:19 pm

See an audiologist. Your high-frequency hearing is probably failing.

gullywompr November 21, 2012 at 12:21 pm

No really, what is it? Blahs got all our moneez? If so, why throw Joe in the mix? Just for reinforcement of the original meme? I haz a confused.

WhatTheHolyHeck November 21, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Yes, them uppity browns in OUR WHITE HOUSE, acting like royalty, spending our money on their lavish lifestyle, etc. etc.

It's an epic planetary alignment of racist memes: Welfare Queen meets Lazy Nigger meets Affirmative Action Hurts Rightfully Superior Whites.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 21, 2012 at 12:50 pm

" . . . Hurts Rightfully Superior Whites in trailer parks."

Completed the thought for ya.

Negropolis November 22, 2012 at 2:32 am

My mind read that as "It's an epic plantation realignment". lol

Geminisunmars November 21, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Allow me to translate (I speak dogwhistle fluently): "You wanna see some real hypocrisy? These people pretend to be poors, so you poors will like them, but they are actually elites, so you poors should really hate them."

gullywompr November 21, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Well, maybe I shouldn't expect them to make much sense, but Obama never pretends to be poor – when talking about tax increases on upper incomes, he always says "So guys like me wil have to pay a little more". This is the first time I've come across the same accusation of Biden, however, and because the right is not very origianl, it seems to be a continuation of their old "Mooshell spend like a pig" meme. I guess it was time to twist it a little.

gullywompr November 21, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Jesus, I wish I had learned to spell properly in grammar school.

VodkaGoGo November 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Auto-correct has completely destroyed my ability to accurately assess if my spelling is correct. Also, it's spelled "grammer"

eggsacklywright November 21, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I went to Kelsey Grammar school.

(swiped from Little Britain)

Tommy1733 November 21, 2012 at 1:14 pm

YES

freakishlywrong November 21, 2012 at 12:21 pm

It's called "projection". It's what they do. It's all they do.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 21, 2012 at 1:49 pm

"We don't project. You do. We're not defensive. You're the one being defensive."

SorosBot November 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Because nice things are supposed to be reserved for the white people?

gullywompr November 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Or maybe he's redistributing all the money to himself? I dunno…

HobbesEvilTwin November 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm

So now every republicans is basically lying on the floor in the toy aisle throwing a tantrum.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Here's hoping they take their ball and go home.

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Or get kicked in the balls and go home crying.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Either suits me just fine.

Serolf_Divad November 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Salt-of-the-earth evreryman George W. Bush spent Thanksgiving waiting tables at a fancy restaurant near Annapolis before rushing home to the White House to make it just in time for the family's late Thanksgiving dinner.

anniegetyerfun November 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Dudes, I've been to Nantucket. It's not all that. Now, if you told me he was brunching at The Phoenician in Scottsdale, I might be, like, "That's a little hoity toity." But fucking Nantucket?

karlamarx November 21, 2012 at 12:39 pm

me, too! yer right! nantucket is not all that. (although if you judge a place as having a nice, easy vibe, is picturesque, and has good food as being exclusive, then it is.)

actor212 November 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Or at least the Vineyard. Nothing says "money" like Edgartown. Or Chappaquidick!

PopeEdgardo November 21, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I've never been to Nantucket, but I walked into the Phoenician once. I set off the poor alarm.

Negropolis November 22, 2012 at 2:33 am

I walked into a Phoenician once, and he just said "que"? and looked at me funny.

CthuNHu November 22, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Watch out for Phoenicians. Some of them are fond of fava beans and Chianti.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Unlike all republicans who will enjoy thanksgiving either curled in the fetal position or getting buttfucked by their pool boys. In either scenario they are crying loudly and calling for their mommy.

ChillBill November 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Btw, I can't believe Wonkette missed Joe's 70th yesterday. Here's some fappin' material, for all the ladies out there.

Limeylizzie November 21, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Fapped, thanks.

calliecallie November 25, 2012 at 9:38 am

He just gets better with age, doesn't he? I forgive him for Nantucket. I still love him.

Come here a minute November 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm

The biggest problem with Thanksgiving on Nantucket is how hard it is to find a homeless shelter or soup kitchen to fake volunteer at.

AngryBlakGuy November 21, 2012 at 12:20 pm

…now that Joe "Dr. No" Biden has a island fortress, does this mean he is a part of "SPECTRE"?

Oblios_Cap November 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Just when you think that his resume could get no awesomer!

CthuNHu November 22, 2012 at 7:34 pm

A spectre is haunting the GOP: the spectre of Handsome Joe Biden.

Callyson November 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Biden, who along with his wife Jill earned $379,000 in 2011, proclaimed himself in a speech this past July to be a member of the middle class

Yeah, because it's a bad thing if someone from the middle class becomes successful in life, but still remembers where he came from.

/FFS

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Versus, you know, like, *inheriting* millions from tax-dodging greed-heads…

WIDTAP November 21, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Like God intended.

What? Now you are jealous of God?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 21, 2012 at 1:51 pm

"tax-dodging greed-poopy-heads." Yes?

CthuNHu November 22, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Hey, that's what Mittens got in speaking fees one year, and he called it "not much."

Abernathy November 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Well, I never. The Bidens have their "own places for that," too? Who do they think they are, the Romneys?

Hera Sent Me November 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Sounds like the politics of envy to me.

SorosBot November 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

He flew there in Air Force 2? Man, you'd almost think the Vice President was required to travel with his extensive security detail or something.

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Does Greyhound even run to Nantucket?

BaldarTFlagass November 21, 2012 at 12:34 pm

They have to stop at Falmouth and put the Jesus tires on the bus before getting nautical.

T3rbo November 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

He should have just rowed a boat over there, like every vp before him ever has done, wearing a fake mustache

MegPasadena November 21, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Remember during the campaign, Mittens criticized Obama as elitist and out of touch because he lives in a giant white mansion and jets around the country for fun? Seriously.

Mumbletypeg November 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Ummm… what part of "Kennebunkport" do these fartsacks enjoy fake-ignoring the most?

VodkaGoGo November 21, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Was Nantucket the setting for One Crazy Summer? This line of thinking has made me realize how much I want there to be an 80's movie about yacht racing starring Uncle Joe Biden. Or any 80's teen comedy premise starring Old Handsome Joe.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 21, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I'm sure mittens is scarfing down an early dinner so he and the rest of his family can get to their jobs at Walmart and Target. You know, like the rest of America.

SexySmurf November 21, 2012 at 12:25 pm

But as vice president he descends from the clouds at taxpayer expense aboard Air Force Two.

Well, he can't drive his Trans-Am there. Unless he does some bad-ass jump off the dock onto a garbage barge, which would be awesome and Awesome Old Joe should totally do that.

SorosBot November 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Isn't Martha's Vineyard the more exclusive and ritzy of the two islands there? Not that it's all rich people there either. Besides, Nantucket was where Wings took place, so it's filled with salt-of-the-Earth real Americans like the Sandman and that obsessive-compulsive detective.

Lizzietish81 November 21, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Martha's Vineyard is more tourist trappy, Nantucket is more…quaint.

mackensie November 21, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Actually, it's Nantucket that's the more exclusive island, although, both places can make the claim.

kyeshinka November 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Like Real Mericuns, I'm going to spend my Thanksgiving, a.k.a "Um, You're Welcome, Ingrate Indians" at Wal Mart watching the Hoverround derby shouting at the poors unionists they should be lucky to be working in God's Greatest Country on Earth. Freedom and such.

snowpointsecret November 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm

There's only one thing to say to this.

"lol Republicans complaining about rich people"

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Well spotted.

T3rbo November 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

ha, yes.
"Sirs, I am sorry to have to interrupt you," announced Koffler, "but Joe Biden seems to be taking an extravagant vacation in Nantucket this day."
There erupted a great din of caviar forks rudely clinking against plates, top hats falling to the floor, and Tiffany glassware being dropped. The men, peering at Koffler through their monocles, were in shock.
"Our proud republic, what has happened to her?" cried out one billionaire.
"A waste of our sacred taxpayer money!" shrieked a concubine.
"Sirs! Ladies! We must not let this injustice ruin the festivities-let us not think about the waste" pleaded Koffler. "I propose a toast, to our brave troops in Afghanistan…"

HRH_Maddie November 21, 2012 at 12:30 pm

If Biden's in Nantucket, then who is orchestrating the Benghazi cover-up????

snowpointsecret November 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Yes, but is he wearing flag pins?

Lizzietish81 November 21, 2012 at 1:21 pm

No shit, I got into a fight with some of the old townies on Facebook because they were posting pictures of Obama not putting his hand over his heart during a salute as proof that he shouldn't have been re elected.

Dr. Matt November 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

dubyah choked on pretzels at taxpayer expense.

widestanceromance November 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm

And lived beyond at considerable extra expense too, damnit.

Geminisunmars November 21, 2012 at 1:21 pm

also, dubyah choked at taxpayer expense.

T3rbo November 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

What a waste of ink or protons or whatever the internet runs on. Can't the right just come up with a standard "Fuck Joe Biden, I hate him, waaah" piece that they can run at times like this? Like "Joe Biden is on vacation, fuck that guy. Waah." Do we really have to be told that the vice president can't just travel around on a skateboard wherever he wants to go? Joe Biden can't just take the fucking ferry, it would be like planning the Normandy invasion due to the size of the official and unofficial entourage because he is the fucking Vice President of the United States of fucking America.

CrunchyKnee November 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Although the mental picture of Ole Handsome Joe busting a 360 nollie down a 6 set is entertaining. Skate and destroy, indeed.

freakishlywrong November 21, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Fuck yeah!

Lazy Media November 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Our Veep loved to visit Nantucket
Eating oysters and clams by the bucket
Said the wily old pol,
As he massaged one ball
"Yo, haterz, deez nuts, you can suck it!"

MozakiBlocks November 21, 2012 at 1:25 pm

This just made my day, hell made my damn year.

I thank you.

Lazy Media November 21, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I wish there were an edit function; the last line would be better as "diz nut."

WIDTAP November 21, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Still, we applaud you for properly conjugating the singular and plural form of "diz".

Chow Yun Flat November 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Faux-outrage has to be faux by definition but this is a stretch for the wingnuttiest of the right.

Kid_Charlemagne November 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

It would have been far more cost-effective if Joe had simply parachuted from Airforce One wearing a star-spangled jumpsuit.

T3rbo November 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Fucking typical big government liberal-why can't the vice president jump out of his own god damned airplane?

TootsStansbury November 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

What a great mental image! Oh uh, brb

doloras November 22, 2012 at 3:07 am

You mean "Air Force Two". Hopey is doing loop-de-loops in AF1.

fishwharf November 21, 2012 at 12:37 pm

So what.

Chet Kincaid_ November 21, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Judging by the outrage, Joe Biden is our first black Vice President!

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I know right?

Negropolis November 22, 2012 at 2:35 am

Well, he is from Wilmington and uses public transit to get to work, so I wouldn't be surprised to find out he's a secret blah.

gullywompr November 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Joe Biden's "vacation package" is so big, that…

TribecaMike November 21, 2012 at 12:45 pm

It has a spine?

gullywompr November 21, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Joe's package so big, it butthurt each and every RWNJ in the nation.

sullivanst November 21, 2012 at 12:42 pm

A true man of the people would own a few vacation homes, of course.

actor212 November 21, 2012 at 12:55 pm

A true man of the people would own a few vacation of their homes, of course.

FTFY

Come here a minute November 21, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Didn't Vice President Old Handsome Joe Biden have to stand by in a secure location in case the president was unable to perform his official duties at the turkey pardoning?

qwerty42 November 21, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Jeeze, will the butthurt never stop?

freakishlywrong November 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Not until they "win".

Tommy1733 November 21, 2012 at 1:16 pm

We are entering into a glorious new Age of Butthurt unprecedented in the world – we are lucky to be alive at this exciting time.

qwerty42 November 21, 2012 at 1:27 pm

It now appears the "Unskewed Polls" guy has decided the real reason Barry won wuz the eleksun wuz STOLEN!!!

Tommy1733 November 21, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Wow – I'm surprised that domain name was available.

Defeatably_Joe November 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

So the outrage seems to mainly be that Joe Biden, like most politicians, is a pretend middle-class person, only he actually comes from a middle-class background (as does the preznit) and also not actually that far outside the pretend upper limit of the middle class, $250,000.

But it's TOTALLY OFFENSIVE for Biden to pretend to be middle-class, because he's not even unemployed, like Mitt Romney, for Pete's sake!

TootsStansbury November 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

The Bidens they went to Nantucket
The right took a shit in a bucket
Matt Drudge held a grudge
Their opinions don't budge
If there was a chicken they'd fuck it

snowpointsecret November 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm

A+ limerick right here.

freakishlywrong November 21, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Nice one, Toots!

Lizzietish81 November 21, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Wow, this guy must have been livid over Bush spending billions of dollars on wars and contracts for his friends….

T3rbo November 21, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Hell no, don't you remember when Bush carried around a fake turkey in a dining hall in Iraq, FOR THE TROOPS?

BadKitty904 November 21, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Oh, I'm sure he's all et up about it, alright…

Blueb4sinrise November 21, 2012 at 12:53 pm

I haz email from Al Franken's wife.

BaldarTFlagass November 21, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Obama's dick so big, it has to ride by itself in Air Force 3.

TootsStansbury November 21, 2012 at 1:04 pm

And Joe Biden's dick is so big his wife just can't stop talking about it!

Aridzona November 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Mittens would have just bought Nantucket.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 21, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Air Force Two is basically a 757 — I doubt they actually fly it into Nantucket. So Biden probably flies in on a small commuter jet, dubbed "Air Force Two" only because the Veep is on board. No more royal than what Mitt flies around on every fucking day.

Lizzietish81 November 21, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Seriously the airport is teeny. Its an air strip.

BaldarTFlagass November 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Well, Wiki says it's Massachusetts' second busiest airport after Logan, and there used to be regularly scheduled DC-9 service. DC-9 wasn't too much smaller than a 757, and the primary airstrip is over 6,000 feet long, so AF2 certainly could land there.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 21, 2012 at 1:50 pm

It's possible the runway was made extra long to accommodate emergency landings from intercontinental flights. There are some really small towns on the west coast with insanely large runways for just that purpose.

BaldarTFlagass November 21, 2012 at 3:01 pm

I think some of those can even handle the Space Shuttle.

mackensie November 26, 2012 at 11:06 am

It is in fact a 757 and it did in fact take off and land here on Nantucket a couple of times. Plus, there were two Air Force C-17s here as well. Ginormous!

proudgrampa November 21, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Of COURSE Joe's middle class. $379,000 just doesn't go as far as it used to.

SayItWithWookies November 21, 2012 at 1:03 pm

"Biden, who along with his wife Jill earned $379,000 in 2011, proclaimed himself in a speech this past July to be a member of the middle class…"

Hmm — that figure seems familiar. Oh yeah, wasn't $300,000-something how much Mitt made from his speeches alone in the single year we have a complete tax return for? I remember him saying it wasn't much. So are they complaining that the Bidens are rich, or that they're just parvenus who haven't earned the right to vacation on Nantucket?

Lizzietish81 November 21, 2012 at 1:05 pm

WHY ARE YOU JEALOUS OF HIS SUCCESS?!!!!ELEVEN!!!!!!

Biel_ze_Bubba November 21, 2012 at 1:03 pm

The wingnutz' Schlock and Awww campaign is getting mighty tiresome.

mackensie November 21, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Wow, there's so much wrong with this article! Not the least of which is ritzy Hyannis… lol.. of course Obama vaca's on Martha's Vineyard. Hyannis could easily be described as a restroom enroute to paradise. Between the tweakers and the gang-bangers, the traffic, the crappy mall… Hyannis got nothin'.

Now, I have lived on Nantucket off and on since the 50s so I think I got a pretty good perspective of the place. People know what it's like in the summer – great weather, great beaches, on and on. But the off-season is really special as well. The snobs of August are gone, and what's left are the people who love the place, who struggle with mortgages and finding work, pay amazingly high prices for basics (gas is currently around $4.70/gal). Biden knows this place and its beauty and we enjoy having him here. There's virtually no disruption in town, the whole group is low key. He can go christmas shopping with his grand kids quite easily. There are no crowd sweeps or magnetometers or pat downs. You can go up to him and take a picture. He may sit on a Main St bench and chit-chat. (trust me, the security is immense – it's just not obtrusive). I really really get tired of people whining about the president or VP taking a break. They certainly didn't whine about Dubya's constant presence in Texas.

pdiddycornchips November 21, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Meanwhile, Mitt and his mini-me, Paul Ryan, will spend the holiday at their hollowed out volcano somewhere off the Canary islands.

bikerlaureate November 21, 2012 at 1:19 pm

This "reporter" must feel great about his contribution to society.

Lot_49 November 21, 2012 at 1:19 pm

How does this article fail to mention the "Kennedy compound" at Hyannis? Republicans lerve to hate on the Kennedys, even after all these years.

Lizzietish81 November 21, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Or John Kerry's mansion on the island?

You're slipping wingnuts!

Not_Mother November 21, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Don't worry, they'll want demand Teresa's tax returns if Kerry gets the nod for Cabinet.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 21, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Yes, but did he ride in the backseat of a fighter plane that landed on an aircraft carrier and falsely declare a war was over? Because anyone who did something like that at taxpayer's expense would be a real asshole.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 21, 2012 at 1:24 pm

I imagine when OHJB is on Air Force 2 it's a lot like Rihanna's plane.

viennawoods13 November 21, 2012 at 7:51 pm

I'll just leave this here

Pap Finn November 21, 2012 at 1:31 pm

My pat answer to all Republican whinging, ever: you grunting, nit-studded, filth-encrusted early hominids inflicted Dubya on the world, so shut the fuck up. The End.

Designer_Rants November 21, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I feel so disenchanted.

Thunderclees November 21, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Biden used to journey by boat from Hyannis – the ritzy island enclave where President Obama vacations during summer

Hyannis isn't an island. Martha's Vineyard is. EXCELLENT JOURNAMALISM, WHITE HOUSE DOSSIER GUY!

Ted Kennedy goes and dies and suddenly right-wingers can't remember if America's first family of communism lives on an island or the mainland, sheesh you guys.

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 21, 2012 at 2:00 pm

You are going to cost me so much money.

commiegirl99 November 21, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Yes. YES I AM. Updated with actual pictures of the cups by the way! Did you know there are hats too? MY GOD, HATS AND CUPS!!!

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 22, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Stop! Do it to Julia!—

ttommyunger November 21, 2012 at 2:35 pm

…in addition, he's handsome, fit, smart, wins elections and has a hawt, smart wife. Gahhhh!

Ground Zero Mostel November 21, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Salary irrelevant. Handsome Joe will always be middle-class, Handsome Joe is the middle-class.

sundaytrucker November 21, 2012 at 4:24 pm

That settles it. I'll never vote for Joe Biden for Veep again.

BZ1 November 21, 2012 at 5:38 pm

I like the image of Uncle Joe descending from the clouds.

cybermoe November 21, 2012 at 6:52 pm

So what they're sayin' is if Palin/Ryan had won the job they would've taken a big pay cut to be more like 'real' Americans. $379k is the new 47% for these chicken fuckers.

Negropolis November 22, 2012 at 2:38 am

Joe has to rent a vacation home? Filthy poor. They are just letting anyone in, these days, huh?

marinmaven November 22, 2012 at 3:13 am

This should be the cue to post Uncle Bill's Thanksgiving prayer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLSveRGmpIE

Baba_NinjaCat12 November 22, 2012 at 11:09 am
mackensie November 26, 2012 at 11:09 am

This did in fact happen: I was driving in downtown Nantucket yesterday and Biden was standing on the corner. I yelled out the window: "Hey Mr Vice President! Kill the supermajority in the Senate!" and my companion yelled, "No more cloture!"

WhatTheHolyHeck November 21, 2012 at 1:03 pm

SkoalRebel libel!

PopeEdgardo November 21, 2012 at 2:21 pm

God, you people are good.

WhatTheHolyHeck November 21, 2012 at 2:57 pm

I think the flaw in your plan is that you're expecting their narrative to make sense.

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