Happy Day-Before-Thanksgiving, Wonkette fans. Have you been making your list of what you are thankful for? We at Wonkette are deeply thankful that we haven’t had to write about something awful the Catholic Church has done in, oh, minutes! GAH. Catholic Church please stop being horrible long enough for last week’s awfulness to roll off the Wonkette front page. What has the Church managed to do this time? Did they let someone die instead of giving them necessary reproductive health care? Did they let yet another of their priests get rape-y with a young person? Did they weigh in on how the ladiez may make a babby? YES, YES, and OF COURSE YES. But those are PAST horrible things. Today brings us a whole new, more nuanced horrible thing: throwing out a priest for having the temerity (YES WE SAID TEMERITY. DEAL) to believe that perhaps ladies could be priests too:
A long-running struggle between Catholic authorities and the Rev. Roy Bourgeois over his support for ordaining women has ended with Bourgeois’ dismissal from the priesthood and his religious order, the Maryknoll Fathers and Brothers.
A statement from Maryknoll on Monday (Nov. 19) confirmed that the Vatican’s office for orthodoxy, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, laicized Bourgeois last month.
The move stems from Bourgeois’ participation in an August 2008 ordination rite in Lexington, Ky., for Janice Sevre-Duszynska. The ceremony was not recognized by the Vatican and took place under the auspices of a group called Roman Catholic Womanpriests, which rejects the church teaching on the all-male priesthood.
Well, duh. Of course the Catholic Church needs to throw out the dude who served faithfully for 45 years and was a peace activist. He’s definitely the real threat to the sanctity of the Holy Roman Order. Well, him, nuns who are even remotely feminist, and teh gheyz that just want to stay in the church. Not threats? Pedophile priests and ex-Hitler Youth.
Oh, and before we forget: This is what the Catholic Church gives you when they toss you out after 45 years of service:
Dr. Gundry reveals the top 3 common foods that you would have never guessed were the cause of your fatigue.
Mr. Bourgeois freely chose his views and actions, and all the members of the Maryknoll Society are saddened at the failure of reconciliation. With this parting, the Maryknoll Society warmly thanks Roy Bourgeois for his service to mission and all members wish him well in his personal life. In the spirit of equity and charity, Maryknoll will assist Mr. Bourgeois with this transition.
We’ll make you leave, presumably, the only thing you ever loved! But we’ll totally assist you with a transition because we are equitable and charitable to everyone except nuns, gays, young boys, women who want contraception, priests who believe women are equal, and…you get the picture.