Niagara Falls Newspaper Owner Simply Does Not Care For Snarling Feminism Like ‘Snow White’

  moral turpitude watch

OW MY BALLSDo you frequently find yourself longing for a simpler, quieter time? A time with less argument, less dissent? A time where pesky things like “women” were not all walking around, being humans?

Niagara Falls Reporter editor Frank Parlato is! He’s tired of women trying to be men, goddammit, with their having jobs, and not cooking things, and if a movie critic wants to review movies that challenge that, well, he’s gotta find another damn paper, because this paper is for real men.

Roger Ebert let the critic in question, Michael Calleri, go on for like 20 or 30,000 words about the whole ordeal, but this is the Internet, where that kind of thing is Frowned Upon. The email from Parlato to Calleri is the part that will make you want to face-punch a cute animal, for all the ridiculous misogyny, so that’s the part we are bringing to you on this, a day in the 21st century. We know, we know, the m-word is a big red flag for some liberal anthropology major whinefest, but this one is not made up and you should read it if you’re having a good day and would like it ruined immediately.

Here are the highlights. Words are entirely Parlato’s:

i have a deep moral objection to publishing reviews of films that offend me.

OK, we are already off to a bad start.

snow white and the huntsman is such a film. when my boys were young i would never have allowed them to go to such a film for i believe it would injure their developing manhood. if i would not let my own sons see it, why would i want to publish anything about it?

BECAUSE THAT IS YOUR JOB, NEWSPAPER MAN. Also, just wanted to take a second to point out the phrase “developing manhood.” What is going to stunt these poor delicate boy-manhoods?

snow white and the huntsman is trash. moral garbage. a lot of fuzzy feminist thinking and pandering to creepy hollywood mores produced by metrosexual imbeciles.

Ahhhh! Metrosexuals! Protect the developing manhoods!

I don’t want to publish reviews of films where women are alpha and men are beta.

where women are heroes and villains and men are just lesser versions or shadows of females.

i believe in manliness.

Just take a second to absorb that, then take another second to take your wallet out from between your teeth and let your jaw unclench. Thaaat’s it. Relax. There’s still more. Just move past the idea that believing in this brand of “manliness” also appears to mean believing in the subservience of women.

OK. Actually, you may want to bite down on that wallet again:

with all the publications in the world who glorify what i find offensive, it should not be hard for you to publish your reviews with any number of these.

they seem to like critiques from an artistic standpoint without a word about the moral turpitude seeping into the consciousness of young people who go to watch such things as snow white and get indoctrinated to the hollywood agenda of glorifying degenerate power women and promoting as natural the weakling, hyena -like men, cum eunuchs.

Hollywood! Egad! They want our boys to be girls and our girls to be humans! Who will stop them?

FRANK PARLATO, THAT’S WHO.

If you care to write reviews where men act like good strong men and have a heroic inspiring influence on young people to build up their character (if there are such movies being made) i will be glad to publish these.

i am not interested in supporting the reversing of traditional gender roles.

There’s nothing snarky to say here, really. Dude wants women to be at home, raising his children, with their delicate manhoods. He just said that, with his typey-fingers, and we are upset.

Don’t worry, though — Parlato has an explanation. He posted it on the newspaper’s website (which appears to have been made around the same time as his ideas on gender):

One of the problems with Calleri’s writing, and probably the main reason his movie reviews were hardly read, is that he lacks the fundamentals in sound thinking or logic.

OK, so that isn’t really a defense of anything. Do you regret saying that stuff, that mean, oppressive stuff?

For the record, if I knew Calleri was going to publish my off-the-record and, in parts, tongue-in-cheek email, I would have added capital letters and a couple of commas, but I wouldn’t have changed what I wrote.

Whoa. Really?

In fact I might have made the language even stronger.

OH COME ON FRANK.

I might remind the reader that the email does not say I would not consider reviews of films where men and women are both shown in an inspiring light. I am simply not interested in films that demean men, or men of a particular race.

White! He means white!

I did not say that women should have lesser courage or true, inner strength than a man. I merely said I do not have an interest in seeing men depicted as weaker, dumber, more cowardly or lower than women. In other words, no male bashing. And, consequently, no female bashing.

Is there a Pulitzer for fucked-up logic in the news? It looks like the Reporter just put itself in strong contention — Men should always be stronger than women, because women should not be bashed. Make a spot on the shelf!

He then goes on to tell a women to “consider not thinking of herself as a victim,” a guy to “consider a sex change,” and suggesting people who disagree with him “may have a deep-seated daddy issue.”

But yes, we are the ones who are the wrong sexes, with issues. [Romenesko]

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216 comments

  1. Callyson

    when my boys were young i would never have allowed them to go to such a film for i believe it would injure their developing manhood

    This guy thinks a film has the power to castrate someone? Jesus, the wingnuts just get dumber and dumber…

    1. Redhead

      Yeah, if I had boys I would NEVER let them go to the movies either. Much better to have them participate in MANLY things, like football – especially at those nice intensive programs like the one that fellow used to run, what's his name? Sandusky? Making sure all those boys could grow up to be nice manly men. Yeah, they'd be MUCH safer there.

    2. Mojopo

      In Niagara County, they've got all kinds! You know why? Love Canal. I'm from Niagara County, so…

      I'm going to go right ahead and call Frank a giant meatball, because it's an educated guess, and he's an douchebag. Obvs.

  2. Loch_Nessosaur

    Parlato just wants to get banged by Captain America. Like the way it was done back in the 1950's.

    1. Low_Budget_Dave

      Good point. In the old Grimm version, Snow White had the personality of a plant. (In fact, the Price fell in love with her while she was in her "dead" period, in a glass coffin.)

      If they turned Snow White into Jane Eyre, or at least Katniss, then I am one NetFlix away from a new favorite movie.

    1. red_kira

      I think maybe it is 'sexist' in Italian.

      Kinda makes me want an ice cream cone, though… so can it be all bad?

  3. Callyson

    i am not interested in supporting the reversing of traditional gender roles.

    If any women work for this newspaper, I hope they get their hands on the salary distribution and the number of a good lawyer.

    /asshole

    1. NellCote71

      Me, too. I would contribute to a fund, in fact, now that Obama no longer seems interested in emailing me several times a day.

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      From the article, it sounds like the women are long gone … unless this Parlato goon likes to keep a secretary.

  4. BaldarTFlagass

    "I merely said I do not have an interest in seeing men depicted as weaker, dumber, more cowardly or lower than women."

    Guess you don't watch any television sitcoms or advertisements, Frank.

    1. Defeatably_Joe

      To be fair, the oafish everyman Beta-male is totally THE male sitcom character archetype, from the Honeymooners, through the Flintstones, to Homer Simpson. Of course, the entire POINT of that stock character is that it's a way to play to male anxieties about their own self-image (because some element of comedy is always rooted in discomfort or anxiety), not to mention that that it helps play into equally common male fantasy of a "mothering" spouse. So those tropes really only exist BECAUSE those things are totally completely written and directed with a male audience in mind.

      Yeah, I was a Psych undergrad, why do you ask?

      1. SoBeach

        Works for the stories, but what about the commercials? In the commercials nearly every man is helplessly stupid and needs a woman to tell him what to buy and remind him to breathe. I've always just assumed that women are the audience for those…

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          The ads where the man is an incompetent oaf are mostly the ones selling stuff to the ladies. All the other ones, he's the Old Spice Guy or some sports star, or the guy with the nice truck, except in cases where there's the split: the beta male is presented as the hapless foil to Alpha male, with the suggestion that Alpha male is the user of the product being sold.

          Yeah, I was an advertising undergrad, why do you ask?

    2. ChapterUndVerse

      Or participate in marriage, office work in general, or Big 8 (7, 6, 5, 4…) Accountacy in particular.

  5. Callyson

    He then goes on to tell a women to “consider not thinking of herself as a victim,” a guy to “consider a sex change,” and suggesting people who disagree with him “may have a deep-seated daddy issue.”

    Oh, for fuck's sake.

    (Thought I might be able to go one day without the FFS tag, but I guess not…)

  6. Goonemeritus

    Hey journalists know only too well where this feminism will lead. Look at Newsweek, 50 years ago they capitulated to a bunch of skirts that wanted to write and now look at them they are shuttering their print edition.

    1. docterry6973

      For some reason I would think long and hard before I asked our Editrix to go make me a sammich. Just sayin'.

  7. NorthStarSpanx

    Oh come on!

    We all know the W's of journalism, What, When, Where and Why Should We Report It If We Find It Morally Objectionable?

  8. Kid_Charlemagne

    What's his stand on "Peanuts"? Lucy is always pulling the football away from good ol' Charlie Brown.

    1. Geminisunmars

      The decline of manhood started when "Peanuts" began to be published. Also coincided with dogs getting smarter.

  9. skoalrebel

    Y'know, American film has gone downhill since D W Griffith's Birth of a Nation. So, the guy has a point. [spit!] My own YouTube film career was inspired by Griffith's oeuvre, but I've always focused on more personal, intimate storylines. [spit!] The short vignettes are nice, but now I'm thinking that a full-length feature may be the way to go. Freedom!

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      Lillian Gish was sort of hawt in Griffith's film, and she was also kind of strong-willed, too. I guess that Parlato won't review this film for his puppy-training and bird cage-lining paper.

  10. gullywompr

    Dude musta hated Wizard of Oz. Two females, fighting over shoes, three sniveling male sidekicks, and a male power figure who's power was completely stripped away… Total chick flick.

    1. memzilla

      "Deranged teenager flees home and murders the first person she meets. She teams up with three outcasts and continues her murder spree."

      – film review, Wizard of Oz

  11. actor212

    Wow. The NF Reporter actually has a crack political reporting staff and they're generally pretty liberal. This is a bit of a shock.

    True story: The Niagra Falls Reporter was founded by Mike Hudson. Really astute American music fans will remember Mike Hudson from one of the seminal…heh!…punk bands, the Pagans.

    ETA: He chimed in at the SunTimes piece:

    Mike Hudson | November 20, 2012 3:43 AM | Reply
    GUY WHO STARTED NIAGARA FALLS REPORTER CHIMES IN

    I'm sitting in front of the fireplace in the bedroom of the house I bought on Mulholland near the intersection of Old Topanga Canyon Road with the money I made from selling the Reporter to Frank Parlato and laughing my ass off. My mutt chihuahua Rowena is looking at me funny.

    I just got out of rehab 20 days ago, needed, I think, after having spent 14 years in Niagara Falls founding and editing the Reporter. The AA meeting tonight — in the Jeffrey Katzenberg Building at the Motion Picture Home down the street — was full of strong women and strong men and I was just glad to be there.

    As for Mike Calleri and Frank Parlato, I think we're going to be hearing from them again.

    And I don't mean a post card.

  12. memzilla

    i believe in manliness.

    Hey Frank: if that's true, then why are you writing whiny self-absorbed 30,000 word crybaby girly-letters instead of punching the bejeebus out of who you're mad at?

    1. editor

      "i believe in manliness."

      and i believe i can fly. point: just because you claim to believe something doesn't make it so.

  13. BaldarTFlagass

    "i believe in manliness."

    Frank, is this email a precursor to your coming out? It's okay, it gets better!

    1. bikerlaureate

      He sees through the dastardly untruth that females can be smarter or more assertive than males – indeed, that they can be equivalent to men. Huzzah!

    2. NellCote71

      I know. The last of the persecuted minorities. Those slave ships weren't just up to your Carnival Cruise standards were they? And relocation camps just don't have the amenities of a Club Med. The terroir, the terroir.

  14. Defeatably_Joe

    promoting as natural the weakling, hyena -like men, cum eunuchs.

    So, one mild point in this guy's favor is that he decided to use one hell of an apt animal-kingdom-related simile, given that male hyenas totally actually are immasculated by female hyenas' giant lady-cocks.

    On the other hand, I just accidentally disproved his entire bluh bluh bluh inverted gender roles are UNNATURAL thesis just now, so in the balance, I think he comes out behind.

  15. elviouslyqueer

    Um, Frank? A little Ben-Gay and a Z-pack or three will clear that seeping moral turpitude right up.

    You're welcome in advance.

    EQ

  16. kittensdontlie

    ♫She's a lumberjack, and she's okay.
    She sleeps all night and she works all day.
    She cuts down trees. She wears high heels,
    Suspendies, and a bra.
    She wishes to be a girlie
    Just like her dear mama. ♫ ♪

  17. VodkaGoGo

    Is dick envy a thing guys can have for strong women? This guy seems awfully preoccupied with stunted manhood.

    1. Defeatably_Joe

      That's the one where Ariel (which is totally a boy's name) sells her soul to grow a vagina, right?

      Yeah, he might have had a problem with that one, come to think of it.

      1. CommieLibunatic

        Or Legend of Korra, while we're in the quasi-Chinese neighborhood. Who needs to send sons when you have daughters like those?

  18. edgydrifter

    Frank Paralto hasn't approved of any movie since The Birth of a Nation, though he thought Boxing Helena had a few good scenes.

  19. LibertyLover

    "Just move past the idea that believing in this brand of “manliness” also appears to mean believing in the subservience of women."

    Let me get this straight… he wants women to be subservient to men, but not consider herself a victim that she cannot have self determination. Got it.

    1. Botlrokit

      This is one of the reasons why I want my daughter to take at least one feminine studies class before graduating.

  20. Joshua Norton

    Dude wants women to be at home, raising his children, with their delicate manhoods.

    How do you think it's escaped their notice that todays cost-of-living requires that both parents work to just make ends meet?

    If they could reset the world's economy back to a time when a family of 4 could live comfortably on Dad's $5,200 annual income, I may listen.

    1. BoroPrimorac

      But, but the free enterprise system has pulled more people out of poverty than any other economic system ever invented.

  21. SorosBot

    "If you care to write reviews where men act like good strong men and have a heroic inspiring influence on young people to build up their character (if there are such movies being made)"

    Movies where strong manly men are the heroes? Yeah, they hardly make those any more, that only describes like 90% of the films made today.

      1. Grokenstein

        Yeeeah, but there's women in those films that can take care of themselves, so bewwwwwww.

        He's looking for stuff like Mel Gibson's "The Patriot," where wimmens and childrens are helpless rape-and-murder fodder, serving their Greater Purpose, in which their horrible deaths give Mel the Rage Points he needs to Power Up and beat the Top Boss.

  22. Mumbletypeg

    Does this guy have any daughters he didn't already force his wife to abort or something?
    For that matter — who would want to breed with someone with as much loathing for the opposite sex as Mr. Parlato seems to have .

  23. MissTaken

    snow white and the huntsman is trash. moral garbage. a lot of fuzzy feminist thinking and pandering to creepy hollywood mores produced by metrosexual imbeciles.

    Damn, even the sparkly vampire isn't this pissed at K-Stew for fucking her director.

    1. SorosBot

      He took her back because it was TRUE LOVE, and it was just a coincidence that it was just before the final movie premiered because there's no way they would pretend to be a couple again on the studio's orders to promote the film or anything.

  24. JustPixelz

    Mr. Paralto may not like this, but I've learned (the hard way) that the six little words every woman wants to hear are "yes dear, whatever you say dear".

  25. Tommmcatt_Again

    The best way to have people question your manliness is to publish essays stating how much you believe in it.

    Also, too, "cum eunuchs". Somebody get Lindsay Graham on the phone.

  26. Crank_Tango

    Hey dickhead, if your manliness is threatened by strong women, movies, black presidents, etc., YOU'RE NOT A REAL MAN.

  27. SayItWithWookies

    If you care to write reviews where men act like good strong men and have a heroic inspiring influence on young people to build up their character (if there are such movies being made) i will be glad to publish these.

    Mr. Parlato should be thanked for his various candors* on this important and pressing issue, as well as admired for his wordiness — Koko, as I recall, had a vocabulary of only about 120 words, so either the primates they're working with are getting better or their teaching techniques are.

    *and yes, candor does have a plural form, which makes it seven letters long, apropos of nothing.

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      And if the NF paper hires an infinite number of Kokos and buys an infinite number of word processors they might someday turn out an opinion piece worth reading.

  28. Botlrokit

    If he's that afraid, he should keep his kids from watching The Ten Commandments. Moses goes up a mountain to get directions, and comes back with a "honey do" list.

  29. Abernathy

    "if there are such movies being made"

    Um, seriously? You have trouble finding misogynist movies? Lemme recommend a thousand or two.

  30. vulpes82

    Apparently, the height of manliness involves a complete lack of capitalization. Thankfully, I'm a godless heathen sodomite sissy who can type!

  31. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    These poor white men just don't know what to do now that they are not in charge. Except whine and shit their pants. They seem to have that down.

  32. rickmaci

    "I merely said I do not have an interest in seeing men depicted as weaker, dumber, more cowardly or lower than women."

    I wonder what the asshat has to say about that whole Adam and Eve arc in Genesis?

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      And Adam responded, "Fuck you, Eve! I ain't eatin' that goddamn apple." And he grabbed Eve's long, blonde hair and dragged her off to the nearest dinosaur transit stop so they could quickly get home where she made him a sammich.

  33. SayItWithWookies

    If I remember one of those manly-man movies correctly, the only professions for a real man would be rock star, fighter pilot or president of the United States. I don't see newspaper editor in that list, and I'm sure Mr. Parlato would respect the opinion of all-American masculine icon Tom Cruise. So what's his damn excuse?

  34. Q_R_DeNameland

    Oh I get it — it's the dwarfs he is objecting to. You know, they all live together in a little house, sing in a chorus, etc.

  35. Mahousu

    From what I can recall of the movie, it mostly seemed to consist of Kristen Stewart standing around looking vaguely bored. Is that the inherently masculine role being usurped?

  36. CommieLibunatic

    For the record, if I knew Calleri was going to publish my off-the-record and, in parts, tongue-in-cheek email, I would have added capital letters and a couple of commas, but I wouldn’t have changed what I wrote.

    Internet tip for Mr. Parlato: Unless a giant stone dog is about to eat your face, or you're an eagle, take the fucking time to type properly.

  37. Yellerdawg

    Good to see that the old-fashioned gritty, drunk-by-9:00 a.m., blacked-out-before- lunch type of masculine newspaper man still exists.

  38. joobajooba

    Nice comment on Romenesko from "Fran (real name?!) Fried" "
    I'm looking at the thumbnails that accompany your post. When did Vladimir Putin buy an American newspaper? …"

  39. mustangsavvy

    I love men who are so manly that their manliness must be protected at all times from….everything. That might easily overcome their manliness and render them….heaven forbid…gay. Or, worse: a woman.

    Geez. What a dickhead.

  40. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "I merely said I do not have an interest in seeing men depicted as weaker, dumber, more cowardly or lower than women."

    Better get rid of all of your fucking mirrors then, Frank.

  41. An_Outhouse

    I just rented Snow White and the Huntsman last weekend. I also just got an early Xmas present in the form of a recliner. Apparently the recliner comes with an OFF switch that works on me. I thought the dwarves kicked ass then I fell asleep. Maybe the witch's spell was too authentic. What does that say about women? or me? I have a headache.

  42. Baconzgood

    I agree with this chap. Seriously, what kinda Snow White remake doesn't have the dwarfs anal gang bang her. Dudes, Prince Charming didn't even blow his wad all over her fact!

    REMAKE FAIL!!!!

  43. TRW Observer

    To sum up, he is against movies depicting men in a negative light, and also against movies depicting women in a negative light. So… no movies with negative characters in them, then?

  44. barto

    I find strong women sexy. Does that make me gay? Probably, since obviously they're just women trying to be men! QED

  45. Grokenstein

    Well, this helps explain the Pony Haters.

    I mean, I already knew it was all about insecurity and malformed weenises, but it's very unusual for someone to openly admit to same.

  46. ttommyunger

    This manly-man better enjoy it while he can: that mail-order bride he bought from the Phillipines is going to learn of the little-known domestic benefits of anti-freeze one day soon and it will lights out, muthafucka.

    1. MadBrahms

      I always would have guessed that lower case would be more unmanly. Why talk like a sissy when you can yell and demonstrate to the world just how in-command of your massive cock you are?

  47. MadBrahms

    A huge round of applause to Parlato from those of us who teach on gender / masculinity for providing an example for the ages of male insecurity. Brava! I mean Bravo! O! Don't lose sleep over it, Frankie.

  48. Negropolis

    BTW, I love how he goes from just insulting women and claiming male victimization, and then in his "apology" can't help himself by then narrowing it even smaller to white men. Not exactly a surprise, but we know people like this coming and going. That entire email is a case study of modern American "conservatism."

  49. solrobins6

    My only response to this is incredulous grunting. Like uhhuhuhuuhahaa? guhfughgugh!

    And so on. Even as I type this, I cannot stop doing it.

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