STILL STEALING THE COUNTRY  5:05 pm November 20, 2012

Obama Steals Election, Again, According to Totally Clear Evidence

by Wonkette Jr.

that box is full of purple fingersWe’ve been suspicious about possible voter fraud ever since effeminate numbers demon Nate Silver had a vision during his Pagan Rituals of a comfortable Obama reelection. With the weight of those mathematical odds in your favor, you’d almost be forced to resort to stuffing ballot boxes to remain in office.

Good thing there’s an edgy, investigative media group — or Dean Chambers, the guy from Unskewed Polls, anyway — with a passion for journalistic integrity willing to blow the top off this thing! (You would kind of think he’d learned his lesson by now? Nah.)
It’s natural to be uncomfortable with the truth, and we advise against proceeding if you’re not ready to have your mind blown. It ain’t easy to put down the Kool-Aid when you’re thirsty – but if you’re like us, and you want to quench that thirst with something purer, head over to Barackofraudo.com.

They aren’t afraid to make daring arguments few others seem willing to touch. For example, why hasn’t anyone else made the case for using vague hearsay to determine truth?

…so the evidence is often quite circumstantial. In fact, often the circumstantial evidence is all the evidence we have…

Look, sometimes finding the kind of evidence that proves a theory beyond reasonable doubt is super hard, and you just have to make a judgment with monumental implications based on some circumstantial stuff. That’s not to say there isn’t any concrete evidence.

…tens of thousands of bogus votes in the ballot box, we didn’t see someone actually put them there, but they are found, they are there, and they are clearly evidence of vote fraud.

Evidences are found, guys. There really isn’t an argument to be made against that. We’re left to fear the worst – the end of Democracy as we know it, eagerly watching this horrifying story develop as the Barack O’Fraudo team works to add a few hundred more words to their page.

Also included is a link to this insightful report, which exposes how the “black Dems” stuffed ballot boxes full of Russian money to rig the 2008 election.

[BarackOfraudo]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 423 comments }

DerrickWildcat November 20, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Well to be fair, this does jive with Unskewedpolls.

emberglance November 20, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Shucks with it too, also.

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Not just jives; it looks like it's by the same guy. And with the same web design sense from the GeoCities era!

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Bah, I've been IntenseDebated.

It looks very much like this and unskewedpolls are the same people/person – both sites are owned by QStarGroup.

HogeyeGrex November 20, 2012 at 6:11 pm

As the kids say, "All. One. Guy."

AlterNewt November 20, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Correlation!

Tundra Grifter November 20, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Or, at the very least, coincidence! Or commonality. Not proof of causation, of course, but this is right wing nutz' "logic."

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Also, colocation, most likely.

corthylio November 20, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Needs moar locomotion.

Abernathy November 20, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Good to see that Dean Chambers is following in the Grand Old Party tradition and forgetting that he admitted he was totally wrong about the election. I guess that's how you "unskew" that lame thing called learning from your mistakes.

JustPixelz November 21, 2012 at 6:08 am

Actually, he did say he was wrong about polls being skewed. But now has created a website that explains how Obama won Ohio, Virginia, Florida and Pennsylvania through voter fraud.

"Nate Silver was right, I was wrong"
Dean Chambers: Obama Voter Fraud Map

As long as the GO-Pee'ers believe they did nothing wrong, they should nominate Romney again in 2016. Romney/Ryan 2016!

sullivanst November 21, 2012 at 8:48 am

Is he now saying he was wrong to admit he was wrong?

Abernathy November 21, 2012 at 9:29 am

For teabags, what could be more wrong than admitting you were ever wrong?

eaglewon November 20, 2012 at 11:22 pm

jibe

nounverb911 November 20, 2012 at 5:08 pm

The Teabaggers are just pissed because there aren't old white folks any more to participate in their own ballot stuffing plans.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 5:22 pm

That is not the Bill O'Reilly officially sanctioned name for them. They are now "traditional American voters", and anyone who can't see that is a pinhead.

Antispandex November 20, 2012 at 5:09 pm

I used to know these guys, I think, when I was a kid. Every time they lost at a game it was because someone cheated. When they won, it was, of course, due to their great skill at games of all sorts. I had forgotten how much we all hated those pricks.

ManchuCandidate November 20, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I knew them as Yankees fans.

actor212 November 20, 2012 at 5:20 pm

JEFFREY MAIER LIBEL!

finallyhappy November 20, 2012 at 5:36 pm

I still know people like that. Now it is more that everything that happens to others is their own fault- anything that happens to them is someone else's fault.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Don't push their 'inadequacy' button–it leads to rage. I have done this many times, albeit on some occasions for fun.

marinmaven November 20, 2012 at 7:21 pm

We also know this button as the oversized "easy button"

Steverino247 November 20, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Which is why we shouldn't have stopped beating them as we grew up.

BornInATrailer November 20, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Is it racist/sexist that my brain automatically assumed a white male made that web site?

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:14 pm

I assumed it was a latino/a, because of the barackofraudo. That's Spanish for "fuckstick."

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 5:20 pm

I was going for illiterate fuckstick.

Negropolis November 20, 2012 at 10:07 pm

I thought it was Italian or maybe of Hobbit origin.

HogeyeGrex November 20, 2012 at 5:18 pm

After looking at the site, my brain automatically assumed it was an epileptic gibbon.

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:22 pm

yes, and his name is barackofraudo. He is from argentina.

HogeyeGrex November 20, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Sadly, his name is Dean Chambers, and he hasn't the sense to disappear after becoming a laughingstock made of fail. He just comes up with something even stupider to be completely wrong about. He is from USAFUCKYEAH!

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Yes, but he is a handsome, strapping lad.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 5:50 pm

There are enormous profits to be reaped from being a laughingstock made of fail. Just ask Rush Limbaugh.

pdiddycornchips November 20, 2012 at 6:42 pm

I suspect the idea for this site comes from Whitey but the actual execution was done by a fourteen year old Asian nerd who needed a forty dollar bill to buy a used copy of Halo

BaldarTFlagass November 20, 2012 at 6:57 pm

"forty dollar bill"

Dynamo!

pdiddycornchips November 20, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Ya just can't do it.

WABishop November 20, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Your vague suspicions are all the evidence I need.

actor212 November 20, 2012 at 5:10 pm

tens of thousands of bogus votes in the ballot box

I've got a five spot says they all voted for Romney.

corthylio November 20, 2012 at 5:52 pm

There are OTC medications for that now…

pdiddycornchips November 20, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Bogus how? Written in Crayon? Were they left over ballots from the Confederacy election of 1864? How were they bogus?

Lascauxcaveman November 20, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Made up shit is made up.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 7:08 pm

They were cast for a near.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 21, 2012 at 12:39 am

Come on, you only know that for sure for the computers.

cousinitt November 20, 2012 at 5:11 pm

I, for one, welcome myself as one of the new Demo'rat overlords. Thank you, cousinitt, I am happy to be one of my new overlords. Now, kneel before me for a rousing chorus of "L'Internationale" featuring the cast of Glee.

Yes, Republicans, it's THAT bad. Suckers.

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Yes, let me start with the Barackofraudo, make sure it's not too spicy, and I'll have an iced tea

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Is that some kind of crudo?

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:44 pm

ohhhh…italian, not spanish. I was picturing some kind of fried burrito appetizer that everyone can share at chillis, but now I picture a bunch of older sophisticated gray-haired gentlemen eating a barackofraudo and squinting, for some reason

tessiee November 20, 2012 at 9:47 pm

"I'll have an iced tea"

A *muthafuckin'* iced tea, I trust.

hagajim November 20, 2012 at 5:12 pm

I has evidence – not really, but I'll whine like a little bitch anyway.

Lascauxcaveman November 20, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Made up shit is made up.

But we Wonketteers have the guy feel a little better today because a dozen of us tripled his monthly traffic today by clicking on his link.

ButthurtWingers2012 November 21, 2012 at 9:21 pm

That pretty well sums up the incessant and constant conspiracy theories trickling out of right wing deranged mayo-stains like this guy. I mean seriously, unskewed guy…it's not possible people voted in a majority for Obama because they like him and furthermore, because they DIDN'T like Romney? Romney is so unlikeable his own 'big' supporters in the party can't wait to kick him the fuck out the door….but nope, Obama cheated, obviously…twice now, with black Democrats each time…fucking mayo-stains….

SmutBoffin November 20, 2012 at 5:13 pm

"Barack O'Fraudo"?

What does that even…wait it's like Irish because…it doesn't rhyme with 'Obama'/ ends in a 'o'…why….

Fuck, nvrmd.

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:28 pm

niggerpresident.com was already taken

Trannysurprise November 20, 2012 at 5:14 pm

I knew it. This is just like when the dozens of blahs voted in Maine.

glasspusher November 20, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Binders?

memzilla November 20, 2012 at 5:14 pm

"Hey, ignore all that factual evidence that the only proven cases of voter fraud were by Rethuglicans, and listen to our made-up s**t that we totally pulled out of our asses."

Funny how unprovable claims of ballot-box stuffing that threw the election to the Democrats are almost exactly counterbalanced by unprovable claims by Anonymous that their hacking Karl Rove's ORCA stole the election back from the Rethuglicans.

FeloniousMonk November 20, 2012 at 6:39 pm

"s**t that we totally pulled out of our asses." That's a … novel way of dealing with constipation.

TootsStansbury November 20, 2012 at 5:15 pm

They complain about liberal gloating but insist on giving us reasons to point and laugh.

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 5:53 pm

The rightosphere is an irony-free zone.

WABishop November 20, 2012 at 7:46 pm

With every right-wingy tear that hits the ground, a child laughs, a flower blooms, birds are seen to fill the skies.

glasspusher November 20, 2012 at 7:50 pm

It would be irresponsible not to laugh at them…

actor212 November 20, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Lemme get this straight: Wikileaks publishes some unsubstantiated emails from the Stratfor Group, a right wing foreign affairs think tank, that speculate and gossip on how Obama stole Ohio and Pennsylvania in 2008, and this somehow proves Barack Obama stole the election?

Nevermind that he kicked McCain's ass anyway?

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:16 pm

WAKE UP, SHEEPERSON!

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Also too, the Stratfor email talked about "when" to release the shocking truth… four years ago. Nobody appears to be interested in questioning why the answer to "when" was any time during the last four years, particularly since they missed their last opportunity to have any influence on an election involving Obama.

elviouslyqueer November 20, 2012 at 5:15 pm

JUST FUCKING SECEDE ALREADY.

memzilla November 20, 2012 at 5:22 pm

AND DON'T LET THE MASON-DIXON LINE HIT YOU IN THE ASS ON THE WAY OUT.

Negropolis November 20, 2012 at 10:13 pm

They already have, but it was from Reality. I guess we should be careful what we wish for. lol

JustPixelz November 21, 2012 at 6:35 am

Sez Mrs Pixelz: Instead of waiting for them to secede, can we just kick 'em out?

SayItWithWookies November 20, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I'm going to my garage and I'm not coming out until I finish building a motor that's powered by whining — the next four years of GOP butthurt should bring Saudi Arabia to its knees and solve our global warming problem.

tihond November 20, 2012 at 5:36 pm

If it could also run off ignorance, we could leave our windows open during the winter because of all the savings.

Biff November 20, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Ooooh, a hybrid!

ChernobylSoup November 20, 2012 at 5:16 pm

These guys just want to get the best bunks at the FEMA camps.

Tundra Grifter November 20, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Try to get assigned kitchen duty – at least that way you shouldn't starve…

LibertyLover November 20, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Oh, they will alright.

Sharkey November 20, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Where exactly is Raudo again?

Crank_Tango November 20, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Somewhere between Indon'tnesia and Canya.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Yes We Can!

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 6:29 pm

It's that Pocket Fisherman company.

T3rbo November 21, 2012 at 2:53 am

that is a Gaelic joke?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 21, 2012 at 4:51 am

It's what plants crave?

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 5:17 pm

The idiots claim Obama won through fraud in Florida, Virginia, Ohio and . . . Pennsylvania. Um, if you want people to buy your lunatic conspiracy theory maybe you should make it just a bit more plausible by not picking a state that was completely in the bag for Obama and Romney never had a chance in hell of winning.

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:20 pm

what part of barackofraudo don't you understand?

Callyson November 20, 2012 at 5:27 pm

After visiting that website? All of it, Katie…

Defeatably_Joe November 20, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Or for that matter not picking states that are all governed by Republicans with Republican elections officials and Secretaries of State. Just sayin', this ain't exactly like when libruls complained about Brother Jeb and Kitty Harris in Florida or Ken Blackpoorly in Ohio.

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 5:50 pm

You think they have real Republicans in PA? OH? RINOs, all of 'em, Katie.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Given their overt attempts at suppressing the urban vote, I'd say the Sec. States of both states were very real.

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Yeah, but see, there were still BLACK people voting, thus fraud!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 20, 2012 at 5:25 pm

But Black people didn't vote for Romney in Philadelphia, which is a sign that…, something something fraud!!!!!

Defeatably_Joe November 20, 2012 at 5:26 pm

And totally not that Romney was a dick, in Philadelphia!

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm

I'm pretty sure people would vote for a dick in the City of Brotherly Love.

Defeatably_Joe November 20, 2012 at 11:06 pm

At least on South Street. Or 13th and Walnut.

HarryButtle November 21, 2012 at 12:18 am

Frank Rizzo libel!

actor212 November 20, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Gets better, Soros. This all happened back in 2008!

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Apparently the fraud in Virginia is proven by the fact that the last counties to finish tallying were those that voted most heavily for Obama. That couldn't, of course, have anything at all to do that as heavily urban and also "urban" areas, many precincts in those counties had enormously long lines due to systematic underfunding of them.

I couldn't even be bothered to look anywhere else after that, because I have better things to do, like pick my nose or something.

Baconzgood November 20, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Unrelated to this thread:

How are you and the MissT doing? I've been outta the loop for the last month and wanted to know. Baconz is cheering for you kiddos.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 20, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Oh my God! You didn't hear?

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Aw, thanks; we're living together now, and I'm adjusting to West Coast life.

Steverino247 November 20, 2012 at 6:07 pm

It's easy, once you get used to the fact that you have to drive everywhere and there's no place to park.

And good luck on the living together part. Be patient with each other!

Baconzgood November 20, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Change is hard. I'm still getting use to my new avatar. I know changing an avatar isn't as easy as up rooting your self, moving thousands of miles away, and living with your soul mate….but try to relate.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 6:40 pm

In the early days of teh internets, one of my handles was 'MsAnneThrope'.
*laments on not having a soulmate*

Crank_Tango November 20, 2012 at 7:05 pm

I hate to break it to you, but you won't be able to rock out with your cock out in the Castro much longer, since Nobama "won."

redarmyzombie November 21, 2012 at 12:26 am

Well, congratulations*!

*now, how did I miss that? (scratches head)

MissTaken November 20, 2012 at 6:26 pm

All's good! He's even putting the toilet seat down most of the time and only smashed my car into a pole once.

Thanks for the cheer, Baconz!

emmelemm November 20, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Is he really one of those East Coasters who's never had to drive a day in his life because of all the socialist public transportation? Whatever, he'll learn.

But yeah, cheers!

MissTaken November 20, 2012 at 6:35 pm

That's exactly it! And apparently hey don't have toilet seats on the East Coast, either.

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Hey, I learned to drive. And did so back east fairly often, like once every month or two.

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Hey now I only left the toilet seat up that one time!

Maybe one other.

MissTaken November 20, 2012 at 7:03 pm

IT WAS UP WHEN I CAME HOME FROM WORK YESTERDAY.

Baconzgood November 20, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Remember…..this is the best it gets.

snowpointsecret November 20, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Fun fact: If Romney won Florida, Virginia, AND Ohio Obama would have won anyway. Pennsylvania would have done it for Romney on top of that but I don't even think Karl Rove believed that was in play.

fuflans November 20, 2012 at 11:39 pm

we were in pitts last weekend with my (total wingtard) aunt and uncle. we were showing mr fuflans pittsburgh. drove around all day saturday. nary a single romney sign in sight.

not one.

saw more bamz signs than north side of CHI.

sullivanst November 21, 2012 at 10:20 am

Last weekend… so… after the election?

Yeah, I think the loser's supporters tend to take their signs down quite rapidly. The winners like to bask a while.

ETA: unless you're talking bumper stickers.

SmutBoffin November 20, 2012 at 5:18 pm

YOU CANT UNSKEW REALITY YOU JOHN CANDY LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER

jello_mold November 20, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Oh for fuck's sake.

Callyson November 20, 2012 at 5:27 pm

I second that sentiment.

memzilla November 20, 2012 at 5:19 pm

"With the weight of those mathematical odds in your favor, you’d almost be forced to resort to stuffing ballot boxes to remain in office."

Hey, ballots make the perfect Thanksgiving turkey stuffing!

Tundra Grifter November 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Better than that godawful recipie I read for White Castle Sliders stuffing.

tessiee November 20, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Krispy Kremes or GTFO.

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Sliders and ballots. Dean Chambers, meet K-Lo. You doubtless have much in common, including air-rights to the vast amount of space consumed by your avoirdupois.

SuspectedDemocrat November 20, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Turducken/Cornbread 2016!!

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 6:16 pm

O. M. G. Make it so, #1.

gullywompr November 20, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Love the headline "Black States = States Obama won by Voter Fraud." How much more circumstantial evidence do you need than that? 2012, The Fraudening.

Oh, and they sell hats there also too, so that's always a good reason to have a web site.

corthylio November 20, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Are they made of tin foil?

(Am not clicking on those links…)

ImForJeb! November 20, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Hats and mail-order Asian brides! One stop Christmas shopping!

widestanceromance November 20, 2012 at 5:20 pm

This is stupid. Why would he bother stealing the election when he could make the government just give it to him for free?

ManchuCandidate November 20, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Is that you, "One Term Barry"? I guess you'd do anything to keep that name relevant. Loser.

glasspusher November 20, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Yeah. The only pink slip Barry saw on election night was the one Michelle was wearing…and probably not very long ;)

JustPixelz November 21, 2012 at 6:36 am

I still say he's not good enough for her.

redarmyzombie November 21, 2012 at 12:28 am

Oh my god, did he stalk you too?

HistoriCat November 21, 2012 at 11:00 am

He stalked everyone.

Kate_fate November 20, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I'm just glad that unauthorized persons were allowed to go through ballot boxes so they could COUNT those tens of thousands of bogus ballots. Or dozens, as the case may be.

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I didn't see very many 'words' on that website, what am I missing? I want to learn about the barackofraudo but I don't understand how….

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 20, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Yes, there is no chance that Conservatives had a loser Candidate backing a loser ideology that most people find crazy. Yes, it must have been massive voter fraud that no one can find any evidence of.

And people wonder why Conservatism has become morally and philosophically bankrupt.

memzilla November 20, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Yes, but it's gold-standard bankrupt, none o' yer fancy-schmancy Bretton Woods fiat currency bankrupt.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 10:34 pm

It's a triple the CEO salary and make repeated swingeing cuts to employee compensation and still fail under your load of debt bankrupt?

tessiee November 20, 2012 at 10:05 pm

If they'd become financially bankrupt as well, I'd be a happy camperette.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 20, 2012 at 5:23 pm

This guy better be careful. If he uncovers the Lizard People and their plans to take over the US, his life won't be worth a single Amero.

Toomush_Infer November 20, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Hey, all my extra votes were for Lizard Peoples…..!

tessiee November 20, 2012 at 10:07 pm

In league with the reverse vampires…

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Wait, are you trying to imply that his life currently is worth a single Amero?

glasspusher November 20, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Where does one go to find attractive, interesting, single Ameros these days?

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Isn't the Bank of The Americas in Mexico City or something?

marinmaven November 20, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Why do the Lizards make us wait for deliverance? So cruel. Wait! Who won the Presidential election? Oh, nevermind.

skmind November 20, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Saddam Hussein got 100% of the vote. Barack Hussein Obama won the elections by a … LOT.

I can't put my finger or another appendage on it, but there seems to be a connection. If only Breitbart wasn't a ghost!

Say, isn't that O'Keefe or that D'inesh dude available to do some jernalism?

PuckStopsHere November 20, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Still glad he's a ghost.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Glenn Beck still lives, get him a blackboard!

weejee November 20, 2012 at 5:23 pm

I'm shocked that Barack O'Fraudo wasn't shrieking about Bamz stealing the 3 votes from DeeCee, the pearle noire of the Potomac.

Also, too, is Barack O'Fraudo black Irish?

Toomush_Infer November 20, 2012 at 5:41 pm

the blackest, the Irishest…

TribecaMike November 21, 2012 at 10:50 am

The blacker the Irish, the sweeter the shamrock.

Defeatably_Joe November 20, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Barack O'Fraudo was the protagonist of a popular fantasy book called Lord of the Sharia-Muslim Wedding Rings, in which a secrit Godless Socialist Muslim Commie Atheist must journey all the way to three districts in Ohio (and also five other states) to stuff a ballot box on Mount Doom.

weejee November 20, 2012 at 6:41 pm

to stuff a ballot box on Mount Doom

While Mr. Karl Billblow Rove has a sad and a tots meltdown because some hash-tagged Anonymous ate his second breakfast?

BoatOfVelociraptors November 21, 2012 at 1:20 am

Needs moar gayness!

SayItWithWookies November 21, 2012 at 2:26 am

That's Proudfeets!

Defeatably_Joe November 21, 2012 at 7:55 am

Look, just because I didn't mention Fraudo's devoted companion, Rahmwise, or the fact that he, and the rest of the Choom Gang of the Ring had a fondness of pipe weed, doesn't make either of those things that aren't true.

Esteev November 20, 2012 at 7:07 pm

We're hatin' the Irish again?

*yells into room* HEY! WE HATE THE IRISH AGAIN. YEP, FUCK 'EM IS RIGHT.

memzilla November 20, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Gee, this sure is end-of-the-world stuff, all right. I hope my Mayan Calendar refills get here soon, they've been on order for a couple of baktuns now.

An_Outhouse November 20, 2012 at 11:19 pm

mine are backordered. should i be concerned?

LesBontemps November 20, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Obama stole the election? Well duh, he's blah, so stealing, obvs.

You boys just keep on looking for those Romney votes in North Philadelphia. They gotta be there somewhere. I recommend knocking on every door and asking about it.

glasspusher November 20, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Bamz wasn't anything like Romney's advisors told him blahs were like. That's not playing fair.

Callyson November 20, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Scroll down to the bottom of that webpage–it seems that unskewedpolls.com has a new life…

…which is fortunate for Wonketteers who were worried that the political death of Allen West meant the end of our fun. Snark on!

pdiddycornchips November 20, 2012 at 6:48 pm

from the "contact us" link:

Dean Chambers, Chairman of The QStar Group
Independent Journalist, Pollster, Political Consultant

E-Mail: dcatqstar@yahoo.com

As soon as I finish this bottle of Scotch, plan on updating his Wikipedia page. He left a few things out.

glasspusher November 20, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Nothing liberates the soul like a pint or two of Scotch.

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Now remember that we still have Michele Bachmann to kick around.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 7:12 pm

And Steve King.

tessiee November 20, 2012 at 10:11 pm

And the Palins, always and forever, like herpes.

Come here a minute November 20, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Look, when the guy everybody hates wins, it's obviously fraud. Nobody can argue with that, so don't even try.

Callyson November 20, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Also–no, it appears that they do not take comments on their website. They probably know how much fun we would have giving them the unskewed truth…

AlterNewt November 20, 2012 at 5:26 pm

"I don't have any facts to back this up…"

actor212 November 20, 2012 at 5:28 pm

"…but it would be irresponsible not to speculate"

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:31 pm

"I don't have….facts…"

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 5:36 pm

That's why it's true!!!!1!

Baconzgood November 20, 2012 at 5:42 pm

But the people over there at Barrakofraudo.cum are bat shit nuts and should keep away from the spray paint and model air plane glue.

AlterNewt November 20, 2012 at 5:55 pm

…and the meth, of course. Don't forget the meth.

Tundra Grifter November 20, 2012 at 5:49 pm

You'd have more luck trying to get Nancy Grace or Bristol Palin to back up on DWTS.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 20, 2012 at 6:06 pm

"It wasn't meant as a factual statement."

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 20, 2012 at 6:58 pm

"This is not meant to be a factual web page."

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 7:02 pm

"The webmaster is not meant to be a factual person living in reality."

BoatOfVelociraptors November 21, 2012 at 1:21 am

But I think those girls are checkin you out. You should go talk to them.

SayItWithWookies November 21, 2012 at 2:24 am

"…but where there's not smoke, there's fire."

HogeyeGrex November 20, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Oh, for fuck's sake.

It's the awesomely credible Dean fucking Chambers.

He needs to unskew himself into a bottomless pit from whence he will never be heard from again.

actor212 November 20, 2012 at 5:31 pm

In fairness, he probably made long coin when he unskewed the polls, so why not try and double down? No one ever went broke underestimated the gullibility of Republicans. How else do you explain Glenn Beck's gold scandal?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 21, 2012 at 12:53 am

He will live on forever on FOX News. Having no credibility hasn't stopped Dick Morris.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 5:32 pm

So which tens of thousands of bogus votes in the ballot box, exactly, were those, again?

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:34 pm

"I don't have any…facts…"

HogeyeGrex November 20, 2012 at 5:35 pm

The blah ones.

Toomush_Infer November 20, 2012 at 5:43 pm

I knew it!…..I knew there were special facts for blahs!…What are they?…..

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Oh of course, felons voting, they're all felons, right?

LesBontemps November 20, 2012 at 5:45 pm

AOTK?

SnarkOff November 20, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Alfalfa: "Demz black Dems!"

Blunderthing November 20, 2012 at 5:34 pm

I so totally understand this racism, er, skepticism. I was crushed when Bush stole the re-election in 2004. I died. No, wait, I didn't.

metamarcisf November 20, 2012 at 5:34 pm

World Net Daily has a front page article that claims if 1/3 of the states refuse to participate in the Electoral College on 12/17, there will fail to be a quorum and the election will be thrown into the House of Representatives. And now, they have a disclaimer admitting this is not true but they still continue to feature that article.

Lascauxcaveman November 20, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Maybe for the next four years WND could change its name to WWT:
Wingnut Wishful Thinking.

Tundra Grifter November 21, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Turns out the author of that little piece confused the House of Representatives (which must have a quorum) with the Electoral College (which doesn't).

Personally, I've always thought Electoral College sucked 'cause you never hear anything about their football team.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 5:34 pm

They couldn't come up with anything better which would allude to dishonest behavior than "O'Fraudo"?

Dashboard Buddha November 20, 2012 at 8:40 pm

reminds me of a dude that worked in the next cube over (gone now). He would ask Spanish speaking customers, "what is your telephono numbero"

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 21, 2012 at 1:00 am

Hey, when you think fraud, you think Irish.

Baconzgood November 20, 2012 at 5:38 pm

I loved playing Barrakofraudo when I was a kid. Then the "Man" recalled it the same week they took Jarts.

cousinitt November 20, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Oh man, I used to love playing jarts with my infant brothers and sisters. Our many dogs were also good running under one just as it came back to earth. Good times.

Baconzgood November 20, 2012 at 6:20 pm

When I was 9, I actually got my uncle in the foot with a jart. Went right through it on the 4th of July. There were a suprising ammount of fire cracker, B-B-Que, and Jart accitents in the ER that day.

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Yes, you must also be from south america as well! We would all hide under the car, and the person who was 'it' would put blackface on and try to take our haloween candy! The first one to reach the freedom tree and shout "SOCIALISMO!" would get to be the outfielder in the next round

not that Dewey November 20, 2012 at 5:46 pm

"You sunk my barrackofraud!"

LesBontemps November 20, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Beer Jarts! Nevar forgit!

bobbert November 20, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Now, Beer Jarts is an idea I plan to never pass on to my kids.

Tundra Grifter November 21, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Do you remember those plastic balls on the end of a piece of rope you'd slam into each other until they exploded in front of your face? Or you'd let go by "mistake" and it could get somebody around the neck like an Argentine bolo?

Them was the daze…

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 5:40 pm

By God, there is a Trout in my Milk! I believe I have been O'Fraudoed!

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:50 pm

But Noodynaady's actual ingrate tootle is of come into the garner mauve and thy nice are stores of morning and buy me a bunch of iodines.-james joyce

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Must have been referring to Islays. Great, now I want to go buy a bottle.
Also, I knew an ingrate tootle. Her name was Mom.

T3rbo November 21, 2012 at 2:55 am

they do not drug test at your organization, ?

kittensdontlie November 20, 2012 at 8:29 pm

If you find Henry David in your milk, then you will have something.

smokefilledroommate November 21, 2012 at 12:03 am

whatever that means. sounds like hipster bullshit to me.

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Having worked in Obama HQ for the last six weeks of the election (bow to me, please), I can assure everyone here that I personally hand-shredded all the several hundred thousand swing-state ballots for Romney that he needed to win the election. And, boy, are my arms tired, what with that and flying in from Lost Wages, Nevada. I'll be here all week, try the veal, and don't forget to tip the tummelers.

LesBontemps November 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Thank you for your service. Where were you on Veterans Day?

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Good question. Can't recall. Not without consulting my lawyer, anyway. [Covers microphone, leans away to talk to white-collar-crime specialist, leans back into microphone]. I'll stand on that answer, Senator.

gullywompr November 20, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Writey! Long time no see…

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Good to be back, g-wompr. Nice to see familiar avatars and spit-take into my chocolate milk again.

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 7:06 pm

More familiar names than avatars. There's been a lot of change here. Maybe a little hope, too.

gullywompr November 20, 2012 at 8:41 pm

You missed the big keg party/orgy too. People kept asking "Where's Writey?" We really could have used you then.

bobbert November 20, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Writey — where you been?

Baconzgood November 20, 2012 at 5:40 pm

"The wingnut doth protest too much."

-That Whatz Hiz Name Faggy Writer-

SayItWithWookies November 20, 2012 at 5:41 pm

I didn't realize (though others have pointed it out) that this was founded by Unskewed pollster Dean Chambers — who was the same fellow who, after the election, refreshingly copped to his methodology being wrong. I guess he was visited by the obscurity fairy shortly thereafter and decided to change his tune.

Ground Zero Mostel November 20, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Welcome to the "internet" where anybody can be an "independent journalist," "pollster" and/or "gynecologist."

Defeatably_Joe November 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

You've been reading my OK Cupid profile!

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 6:18 pm

I can haz journamalism?

glasspusher November 20, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Before the election, he could have gone by "unskewered pollster"

pdiddycornchips November 20, 2012 at 7:22 pm

someone should tell him smoking meth isn't technically a methodology.

gullywompr November 20, 2012 at 5:42 pm

So that's what butthurt looks like when you map it out…

HogeyeGrex November 20, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Red=Inflamed?

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 5:43 pm

And, oh…ballots. How do they work?

corthylio November 20, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Some years better than others.

emmelemm November 20, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Depends. Are they butterfly?

Veritas78 November 20, 2012 at 6:44 pm

The voters go in, the voters go out. You can't explain it.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I guess it was a rhetorical question. Yeah, I know–the only things missing from most wingnut websites are midi and cats. And of course brains.

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

they tried just screaming at the computer, but this got them nowhere

not that Dewey November 20, 2012 at 6:01 pm
smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Thank you very much for that.

Tundra Grifter November 20, 2012 at 5:49 pm

"There's another way to phrase that and that is that the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. It is basically saying the same thing in a different way. Simply because you do not have evidence that something does exist does not mean that you have evidence that it doesn't exist."

~ Donald Rumsfeld

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I miss Rummie, probably because I need a sight-adjustment.

bobbert November 20, 2012 at 11:08 pm

I don't miss him, because I've never had a clear shot.

rocktonsam November 20, 2012 at 6:45 pm

i so wish there was a way to get this asshole a date in the Hauge

Esteev November 20, 2012 at 7:01 pm

He stole that from Alan Watts.

not that Dewey November 21, 2012 at 12:20 am

Nonsense.

Tundra Grifter November 21, 2012 at 6:40 pm

It suffered in the transition.

marinmaven November 20, 2012 at 7:40 pm

This is the kinda crap we saved ourselves from when we re-elected Obama. Do you doubt it? He would have brought out the entire "Mistakes Were Made" crew and lobbed large globs of B*llsh*t liker this every single day of his administration. Romney would have brought Rummy out of retirement just to let us know how much he despised us.

BlueStateLibel November 20, 2012 at 7:43 pm

In other words, the dog didn't bark. I rest my case.

tessiee November 20, 2012 at 10:39 pm

"Simply because you do not have evidence that something does exist does not mean that you have evidence that it doesn't exist."

~ Donald Rumsfeld

Is that like, only the male mosquito whines, but only the female mosquito bites; so if you hear a whine, you're OK, BUT! If you hear NOTHING…

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 1:42 am

Something something known unknowns something something.

Orwell couldn't have written a character more ridiculously evil than Rumsfeld.

Tundra Grifter November 21, 2012 at 6:41 pm

I don't go for the Nazi analogies (Godwin's Law hasn't been repealed), but such a heartless yet efficient bastard reminds me of the worst of the National Socialists.

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Actually, I think Godwin's Law may have been repealed in 2010 if the campaigns of the tea party congresscritters is any indication.

ChillBill November 20, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Ofraudo is my favorite character from Lord Of The Rings.

Ground Zero Mostel November 20, 2012 at 5:53 pm

BTW, on his facebook page he has his languages listed as: English, American English.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Not nearly as catchy as "Bond, James Bond"

Because I bet he wouldn't know what the fuck was going on if you stuck him in the middle of Newcastle at night.

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Hands, flashlight, broad-daylight, ass. Missed it by that much.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Not like that stuffy proper UK English, I mean, what do they know?

glasspusher November 20, 2012 at 11:21 pm

French, Russian, Italian, Creamy italian

BoatOfVelociraptors November 21, 2012 at 1:29 am

And the miscegenational Thousand Islanders.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 20, 2012 at 6:24 pm

What aboot Canadian English, eh?

PopeEdgardo November 20, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Doubtful. Canada is a Communist country, after all.

Esteev November 20, 2012 at 6:59 pm

No Spanglish? Weird.

pdiddycornchips November 20, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Pigeon English is right out!

ChillBill November 20, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Also, the first timeline comment on his "business" FB page:
"PAY YOUR DEBT YOU FAT FRAUD" https://www.facebook.com/QStarGroup

not that Dewey November 21, 2012 at 8:46 am
PopeEdgardo November 20, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Hey, come to think of it, I didn’t see anyone actually put any ballots in the box either. How do we know for sure anyone voted? Obviously, there was no election!

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 6:11 pm

And, for Mr. Unskewed, no 21st century.

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 5:55 pm

They could have added in blinking text!

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 5:59 pm

That's the best!

HogeyeGrex November 20, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Only if it's in Comic Sans.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Dontcha just love when truly serious stuff has such ridiculously inappropriate font? cancer = whimsy! Awesome.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Report that criminal!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 20, 2012 at 6:20 pm

It does remind me of Homer's Mr. X website only, you know, shittier and way dumber. Also, needz moar twirling Jeebus.

MissTaken November 20, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Needs a gif of a fake ballot being stuffed into a ballot box like the flying toasters of 1997.

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 6:57 pm

And they could repeat that animated gif as the site's background!

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Needz more <marquee> tag.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 21, 2012 at 12:58 am

I've always been upset that Wonkette doesn't allow use of the "flash" tag. And I have to figure out how to place midi files in my post bee need to move the comments to a geocities page.

BoatOfVelociraptors November 21, 2012 at 1:25 am

Html5, use <audio src=

knarf78 November 20, 2012 at 6:00 pm

the piece on the democratic strategy of voter suppression, tens of millions of negative ads from the Obama campaign, and a mainstream media that talked nonstop about how Obama would be reelected is golden… I want to live in this fantasy world too

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 20, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Clearly you all are missing the point that if you count the votes of black, brown and other "people" by the 3/5ths they are allotted in the Constitution, Romney would have won Florida, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Virginia quite cleanly.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 6:08 pm

That's mighty white of you!

WriteyWriterton November 20, 2012 at 6:09 pm

That is so constitutiononamal! Freedom!

LibertyLover November 20, 2012 at 6:28 pm

And since the womenz couldn't vote back in the good ol' constitutional days, that's a win too.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 20, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Justice Scalia?

emmelemm November 20, 2012 at 6:31 pm

I feel pretty confident that if you only counted white, male votes, Romney would have taken the whole enchilada.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 20, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Make that White, male, property owning voters. Assuming we are still govern by the Constitution and not the UN.

emmelemm November 20, 2012 at 8:09 pm

And who among us is truly a property owner these days? Mortgages don't count.

glasspusher November 20, 2012 at 11:29 pm

I rent my house from the bank!

PS…now that know who he is, is he the jealous type?you two both seem to have excellent taste!

Negropolis November 20, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Yes, and only those WASPy enough. None of them Irish or Italians or anything like that.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 20, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Yes, Rmoney would have won in a scary landslide. http://www.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeedpolitics/what-the

emmelemm November 20, 2012 at 8:09 pm

holy shit holy shit holy shit

Bright spot: Washington, where I live, would STILL have gone for Bamz.

BerkeleyBear November 20, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Sort of shocking that Washington and Oregon go for him on all maps and California lags behind. Cali got called for Bams a lot quicker than Oregon (last state before Ohio, yeah!) but I guess it is all the browns and yellows.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 20, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Yeah, a white male friend of mine posted that on the Facebook after the election. I told him I had put his name on the list for re-education in the first FEMA camp.

PopeEdgardo November 20, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Not to mention the fact that corporations, which (who?) are people, didn't get to vote.

mustangsavvy November 20, 2012 at 6:08 pm

It's almost like they WANT us to laugh at them. For freedumbz sake.

Steverino247 November 20, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Amazing that anyone took this assclown seriously BEFORE the election, but now that it's over…

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 6:15 pm

It's very easy to get people to believe what they wanted to hear.

SuspectedDemocrat November 20, 2012 at 6:13 pm

(big kiss) "I know it was you, Fraudo. You broke my heart."

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 20, 2012 at 6:16 pm

From the website: "As if anyone REALLY believes that is legitimate."

Yeah. As if! Gawd.

scionkirk November 20, 2012 at 6:16 pm

As the political genius guru Dick Morris pointed out on election night, the only reason, and I mean the ONLY reason, Obama won is because he got more people to vote for him.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 20, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Sometimes that works. Sometimes.

Esteev November 20, 2012 at 7:12 pm

He may be onto something. Did we count these "votes"?

BlueStateLibel November 20, 2012 at 6:17 pm

"How could that be possible?" – Normal person
"Because!" – Wacked-out teabagger
"But why?" – Normal person.
"Because, that's why!" – Wacked-out teabagger

Nostrildamus November 20, 2012 at 6:21 pm

barackofraudo

The GOP's Hispanic outreach efforts are awesome.

LibertyLover November 20, 2012 at 6:25 pm

OK, OK, I'll have demon sex with Nate Silver… just how unclean do I have to be?

shelwood46 November 20, 2012 at 7:08 pm

I think as long as you don't sweep anything, you're golden.

pdiddycornchips November 20, 2012 at 7:30 pm

I would leave a half eaten Entenmann's cake on the kitchen table just to be sure.

LibertyLover November 20, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I thought that was for Santa Claus….

BoatOfVelociraptors November 21, 2012 at 1:30 am

Just don't leave his Chad dangling, y'know?

pdiddycornchips November 20, 2012 at 6:31 pm

They seem to believe that it's impossible to have precincts where no one voted for Romney. Wingnuts, face it. People hate you. They don't not like you, they hate you. They waited in lines for up to six hours in some places just to vote against you. Given the attempts by Republicans to make voting harder for minorities and poor people, do you really think people would stand in those long lines on election day and then pull the lever for a Republican?

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 20, 2012 at 6:35 pm

It's not that Republicans think the election was stolen. It's that they do not believe in the legitimacy of a vote for a Democratic candidate.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Doesn't the latter imply the former, in the case of the good guys winning?

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 21, 2012 at 9:37 am

No, I actually think it's deeper than that. I actually think they believe that Democrat-leaning voters should not have the franchise in the first place.—

sullivanst November 21, 2012 at 10:18 am

Well, duh! ;)

BaldarTFlagass November 20, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Late to this, has anyone already asked where these guys were in 2000 and 2004? Sure could have used them.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Watching us, but not very closely.

Esteev November 20, 2012 at 7:17 pm

They were celebrating their team's legit votes!

PopeEdgardo November 20, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Used them for what?

redarmyzombie November 21, 2012 at 12:41 am

A dick-punching contest certainly sounds nice…

Esteev November 20, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Lliberals and their relative moralism. Obviously, you can't get the facts when Obama is covering them up. Look at Benghazi! At least with voter fraud he'd have something to gain.

Mahousu November 20, 2012 at 7:11 pm

You can take this even farther. The fact that there's no evidence of voter fraud is proof that it exists. Because if they weren't committing fraud, then they wouldn't have to cover it up. That was Obama's big mistake – he tried to make his "perfect" crime too perfect.

Esteev November 20, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I'm not sure if we should even be talking about this. . .

Chichikovovich November 20, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Oooh, but they're clever, those Black Panther Voter Fraud Thug Brigades. The precincts in Philly where there are no votes at all for Romney – really leap out at you, right? So you would naively say to yourself "Well, if they were stacking the votes, why wouldn't they toss in just a few for Romney too. Less suspicious".

Well that's what they expect you to think. That's why I know they were stacked. Because they anticipated that thought, and took advantage of it. But I'm ahead of their game….

Mahousu November 20, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Never bet against a Sicilian when an election is on the line.

No, wait, that should be: Never bet against a Kenyan when an election is on the line.

Mahousu November 20, 2012 at 7:01 pm

When I click on the "Post Comments" link on the site, it shows a bunch of spam for a second, then switches to a Girls' Generation music video. Is this trying to tell me that Seohyun, Tiffany, Taeyeon, Jessica et al. are behind the fraud? Could this be the secret message of "Chocolate Love"?

pdiddycornchips November 20, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I know right? I was going to post something similar but I was afraid I might be having scotch induced visions. I know for sure they will try to demon sex me tonight in my sleep. I am ascared

Mahousu November 20, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Not me. In fact, I find myself feeling strangely calm in the face of their demon sex.

snowpointsecret November 20, 2012 at 7:07 pm

It's only fraud if the Diebold machines don't steal it for the Republicans?

(No really, I actually had to vote on a Diebold, it was really strange.)

PopeEdgardo November 20, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Did you have an experience like this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArC7XarwnWI

not that Dewey November 20, 2012 at 7:11 pm

This website is like VOTECUBE. I expect to hear about fraudulent ballots secreted in bellybuttons.

docterry6973 November 20, 2012 at 7:12 pm

So his argument is that the election results didn't agree with their unskewed polls, so FRAUD. Makes sense to me.

snowpointsecret November 20, 2012 at 7:13 pm

… Okay I just looked at that site for a few minutes and I feel really dirty. It might take some demon sex to get my mind off of something that disturbing…

If you, too, need brain bleach, consider this awesome fact: Mitt Romney got 47 percent of the popular vote. Karma, basically.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 7:37 pm

I find this easy to masturbate to. Do I have a problem?

snowpointsecret November 20, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Depends on whether it's the site, Romney's vote percentage, or the idea of demon sex that's turning you on.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Mostly the middle one, but really, AOTK.

snowpointsecret November 20, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Yeah then you're fine… Unless that means I have a problem too or something but in that case I'm sure we're not alone!

christianmuslin November 20, 2012 at 7:30 pm

If Mittens recharges American Motors, he might be eligible for an auto bailout so Egg could have Ambassadors in her elevator car garage and these fraudos could all drive Gremlins, the muscle car from American Motors. Problem solved. Now get the fuck out of our lives, fraudos!

coolhandnuke November 20, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Dean Chambers, the Dept Head at Teabag Tech's Ministry of Misinformation.

mosjef November 20, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Memo to Karl Rove: please resume your medications at once.

littlebigdaddy November 20, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Needz moar James O'Keefe in a pimp suit.

Tundra Grifter November 21, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Let's get one thing straight right through here.

Nothing – as in NOTHING – needs more James O'Keefe in his stupid Halloween pimp suit. Unless he's willing to wear it to Harlem one Saturday night real soon.

DrunkIrishman November 20, 2012 at 7:54 pm

ACORN!

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Bless you.

snowpointsecret November 20, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Their obsession with Acorn makes sense. I mean, they have less critical thinking skill than your standard squirrel if this site is any indication.

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 8:04 pm

SOLYNDRA! FAST AND FURIOUS!! BENGHAZI!!1!

Biff November 20, 2012 at 7:59 pm

How can I pay attention to this when there are women in Floriduh shaving their pubes while driving?

docterry6973 November 20, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Rush, rush, rush. No one takes time to stop and shave the roses.

Aridzona November 20, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Irony alert. That web page has an ad for the UNC School of Government.

tessiee November 20, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Any page that has an ad for UNC needs an irony alert.

Chichikovovich November 20, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I will admit that those precincts in Philly where Romney got no votes at all got me to raise an eyebrow. I thought the double-barreled Romney message of "You people are useless lazy moochers who don't take responsibility for yourself" and "It's not my job to worry about you people." was a big winner in the inner city.

emmelemm November 20, 2012 at 8:14 pm

It's my understanding that some of these "precincts" are really just a few square blocks, so if you imagine a few square Philly blocks full of apartment buildings solely populated by African-Americans, is it so difficult to think not a single vote was cast for the Mittster?

Chichikovovich November 20, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Ben oui I was being sarcastic. I find it very easy to believe that a campaign like Romney's would have managed to alienate every single African-American in a large radius of a given polling place.

emmelemm November 20, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Ahhh, mah French sarcasm detector ees broken.

Defeatably_Joe November 20, 2012 at 11:05 pm

You forgot his Philly-specific message of, "Charter schools and large class sizes are AWESOME!" in a city that basically had just decided to close all of its public schools.

ttommyunger November 20, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Actually, in this instance, voter fraud is cool by me. In fact, I think I'm going to have a boner for at least the next four years and I have no intention of contacting my physician about it.

Dashboard Buddha November 20, 2012 at 8:41 pm

For erections lasting more than four years, please contact Karl Rove.

ttommyunger November 20, 2012 at 8:44 pm

No need to, the mention of that name Did the trick.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

Dashboard Buddha November 20, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Oh man…I'm sorry. I…I didn't think about that. My apologies to the missus.—

ttommyunger November 20, 2012 at 8:51 pm

She won't notice.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

redarmyzombie November 21, 2012 at 12:48 am

It may help to remember his tears of despair as the election was called. That usually does it for me.

Oh! Oh, just thinking about it makes me…excited!

ttommyunger November 21, 2012 at 7:18 am

Hmmmm. Kinky, I like it!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

Vecchiojohn November 20, 2012 at 10:41 pm

For erections lasting more than 4 years, alert the media and organize a parade.

ElPinche November 20, 2012 at 8:20 pm

According to his facebook, Dean Chambers still listens to Ratt. That's all I need to know.

fuflans November 20, 2012 at 8:43 pm

nate who?

(sorry but i tots took advantage of him and his sweet sweet math from july to november and now i'm all, dude, i have a BOYFRIEND and that was an ELECTION fling and it's fucking thanksgiving and family and shit).

we libtards are mathematically inclined sluts aren't we?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 20, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Hey, Wonkaholic! The other day I went to the grocery store. When the cashier asked "Paper or plastic?" my first thought was "All of them, Katie."

docterry6973 November 20, 2012 at 9:21 pm

And global warming? Obama rigged the thermometers.

Blueb4sinrise November 20, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Okay, that was quick..
Hostess mediation fails.
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/39a761e0-337f-11e2-aa83

Transcript:

Fuck you!

Fuck me? Fuck me? No, FUCK YOU!

You can't fuck me 'cause you're already fucked!

You fucking fuck. You're fucked up if you think I give a fuck.

You ain't got a fuck to give, motherfucker.

Fuck this.

Vecchiojohn November 20, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Yo mama.

Aridzona November 20, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Fukeneh

proudgrampa November 21, 2012 at 12:29 am

What the fuck?

SayItWithWookies November 21, 2012 at 2:30 am

Phew — then that $8,000 I spent on a box of Twinkies wasn't in vain. Oh, and neither was the $2.99 I spent on those Hostess snack cakes.

sullivanst November 21, 2012 at 8:30 am

A sounder investment than their stock, for sure. When do the Twinkie futures get listed?

Negropolis November 20, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Can we get a stable-full of Democratic lawyers to just cold sue every conservative who felt comfortable enough to make scurilous claims? I mean, we need a political purge, already…with lawsuits, of course, since we already used votes.

Negropolis November 20, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Barackofraudo, eh? So, the president is a secret Italian who is going to sell our companies to Turin so that they can manufacture their goodies in China? This is worthy of its own Beckian chalkboard, methinks.

Vecchiojohn November 20, 2012 at 10:45 pm

I think Barackofraudo was actually the name of the villain in one of Verdi's early operas.

BoatOfVelociraptors November 21, 2012 at 1:34 am

It's definitely a case of Barackenfreude.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 20, 2012 at 10:20 pm

OT but has anyone checked out the mysterious Wonket coffee cups yet? Do they really exist?

Tundra Grifter November 21, 2012 at 6:31 pm

They are really versions of the classic "Dribble Glass."

(Which, by the way, you can create yourself by taping a thumbtack to the inside of your thumb. Grab your buddy or loved one a cold one, punch a hole directly under the spout as you pick it up, sit back and watch the hilarity ensue!)

Negropolis November 20, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Wait, this was a recent South Park episode, wasn't it?

BZ1 November 20, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Unskewedhinged politics sucs.

not that Dewey November 20, 2012 at 10:52 pm

"I know it was you, Ofraudo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!"

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 20, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Frauden-schade?

Mahousu November 20, 2012 at 11:22 pm

It probably shouldn't be pointed out that the "comments" page on that site lets you insert anything – images, javascript, embeds, really anything at all – and it is copied over unaltered onto the page. Why, if someone were to point that out, people might take advantage of it!

not that Dewey November 21, 2012 at 8:52 am

In this case, "anything" includes a redirect to a video of the Monty Python "Spam" sketch. Awesome.
http://www.unskewedpolls.com/comments.cfm

redarmyzombie November 21, 2012 at 12:50 am

…Sooo…impeach?

catholic4condom November 21, 2012 at 12:56 am

"…so the evidence is often quite circumstantial. In fact, often the circumstantial evidence is all the evidence we have…"

If the founders of this website are ever accused of a criminal act, they should hope they get a judge who doesn't agree with that.

dopper0189 November 21, 2012 at 2:01 am

If the proof was easy to find that would just prove that Obama didn't use the CIA. I mean the head of the CIA must be really good at hiding evidence right?

Boojum November 21, 2012 at 2:37 am

OK, so I clicked on Florida and scrolled down the page. It appears he has his columns transposed or just wrong. There are several precincts which Romney won by hundreds of votes where the total number of votes exceeds the votes of either Romney or Obama. So, either they were both stuffing ballots and Romney got out stuffed or lack-of-evidence guy has unskewed the top of his own head.

sullivanst November 21, 2012 at 8:43 am

Somebody either: (a) went off preliminary data, (b) can't transcribe, or (c) is committing fraud in their attempt to imply fraud. For example, they claim that in Broward precint B002, Romney got 881 of 313 votes cast; the actual data currently shows 1,313 total votes. They claim that in precinct L0008 Obama won 978 of 5 votes cast; county shows 1,005 total. I'm going to go with (b) then – apparently they wrote a little program to rip out the vote totals, and forgot to account for the fact that the county formatted their numbers with commas as thousands separators, but VB's CInt doesn't grok thousands separators. When the results from their parsing were obviously nonsense, they went with the confirmation bias of claiming this proved fraud, rather than doing what any sane person would do and looking at the source data to see if they'd screwed up the analysis somehow (they had). So, also a little hint of (c).

T3rbo November 21, 2012 at 2:56 am

you all posted late because of working. losers

Ancient_Hacker November 21, 2012 at 7:34 am

So on the front page they show a long table of numbers, probably pasted in from a spreadsheet.

Two maybe not so minor quibbles:

(1) There seems to be a column missing, all of the last column values are zero.

(2) Whoever did this shows Obama getting 80 times the number of registered voters in one district. You' think someone else would have noticed this by now. If I were Barry, I'd not stuff so much, so to speak.

(3) Oh, In one precinct, he ( I'm assuming this is a he ), has Romney getting 808 out of 303 registered voters. Same thing most of the way down the table. So Romney was stuffing too?

Lizzietish81 November 21, 2012 at 7:42 am

But he was doing it for FREEDOM!

sullivanst November 21, 2012 at 8:53 am

No, their script to strip data from the board of elections' websites doesn't know about how numbers formatted for human consumption frequently use commas as thousands separators. Where the vote total is less than the sum of Obama+Romney, add at least a thousand to the total column. It's quite hilarious because Broward County also provides its voting data in multiple machine-readable formats like CSV and XML. Also, registration data is not always made available, apparently this website doesn't feel any need to account for that.

Defeatably_Joe November 21, 2012 at 8:11 am

Black States = States Obama won by Voter Fraud.

Well, he really just gets straight to the point, at least.

Mrs. Erma Gerd November 21, 2012 at 8:51 am

"…tens of thousands of bogus votes in the ballot box, we didn’t see someone actually put them there, but they are found, they are there"

Vote doesn't go in, vote comes out. You can't explain that.

Negropolis November 21, 2012 at 8:53 am

OT: Meanwhile, in the Mitten…

LANSING — Michigan lawmakers are considering bills that would grant a tax break to parents who can show that a fetus is at least 12 weeks old at the end of a year.

The legislation would treat a fetus the same as a child for purposes of a tax deduction. The bills got a hearing Tuesday in a House committee and could come up for votes before lawmakers close their session in December.

This is a sneaky, round-about way to begin to establish personhood, and we'd be the first to do it. I swear, our Republicans want to try and make us Mississippi, except that even Mississippi rejected the personshood bullshit. They don't care about children; this is the same legislature that cut the earned income tax credit and everything else having to do with children.

sullivanst November 21, 2012 at 9:00 am

Yes, as if in a rush to prove that they're "pro-life until birth", the same lege that repealed credits for post-born children now wants to introduce them for the pre-born.

Baba_NinjaCat12 November 21, 2012 at 9:22 am

I lost my 5 minutes of my life by going to her website. I thought it was a site for a Barcolounger.

larrykat November 21, 2012 at 10:19 am

Looks like someone hacked their site – when you click the "Post Comments" link you redirect to a Youtube anime video for, let me see… " Nyan Caxx Barf Loop".

valthemus November 21, 2012 at 12:39 pm

If as much voter fraud took place as right-wingers claim, Obama would have beat Romney 602,200,000,000,000,000,000,000 to 10.

lulzmonger November 21, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Today, we are all milk trout.

Sure is a LOT of blank space on that page.
There's literally almost nothing whatsoever to see there.
Whoa … did barackofraudo.com just accidentally leak the GOP's 2016 platform???
*AROO! AROO! BREAKING NEWS!*

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 6:52 pm

They honestly should just call it "Comic". I don't think there's a Comic Serif, except for Joe Arpaio. nyuk nyuk
(sorry–getting waaaay too into typsetting here–my geek is showing).

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 20, 2012 at 6:57 pm

See em, I am a good boyfriend. I haven't done either of those.

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 7:00 pm

A-ha! I had been suspicious but not quite sure.

emmelemm November 20, 2012 at 8:16 pm

That is true! I award you two boyfriend gold stars.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Given its history, I very strongly doubt there's a serif version. Besides, how many fonts have versions both ways? And Arial isn't called Arial sans, it's true.

bobbert November 20, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Well, I noticed "Comic Serif", but I can only give you one thumb.

Lascauxcaveman November 20, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Quit smoking, so guys can tell how pretty you smell.

redarmyzombie November 21, 2012 at 12:24 am

Oh, that was YOU?! Woot, I remember that!

Baconzgood November 20, 2012 at 7:34 pm

W. PA misses you E. PA guy. At now you don't have to listen to all the "swing state" adds every 4 years. Good luck kiddos. Oh, and I hate getting in the car to buy ice tea or Hustler too also. That's why ill never go further than Chi town. But THIS is for love so I find it acceptable.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Good weed? never. You neanderthal.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 7:50 pm

If toilet seats are your only qualm, you guys give me hope.

glasspusher November 20, 2012 at 7:59 pm

We have to lift it almost as much as you ladies put it down. What's the biggie?

emmelemm November 20, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Nor is Futura called Futura Sans. Because it's awesome, that's why.

BoatOfVelociraptors November 21, 2012 at 1:23 am

Have you considered what a comic serif capital T would look like?

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Ah, das ist schön.

ETA: Even Helvetica is just Helvetica.

sullivanst November 20, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Not such a big surprise really when you think the liberal parts of CA are also mostly the most cosmopolitan parts, whereas the parts that elect Repubs are much whiter, and given a Republican won statewide office not all that long ago, there's plenty of 'em.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 11:34 pm

I miss the Savoy after a night at Dirty Frank's… Good times! Miss the Glinch, too even though it's still alive..

proudgrampa November 21, 2012 at 12:21 am

"Comic Serif:" isn't that the guy who costarred with Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl? I think his first name was really Omar.

Biff November 21, 2012 at 1:11 am

But Helvetica Bold by Laura Love is pretty damned good.

sullivanst November 21, 2012 at 8:27 am

I believe he didn't take kindly to the Casbah being rocked.

sullivanst November 21, 2012 at 8:27 am

Sloppy?

sullivanst November 21, 2012 at 10:14 am

I think my iPod is spying on me. It played this song on my (short) drive in to work this morning.

emmelemm November 21, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Well, since we now have gay marriage in Washington state, it's just a hop skip & a jump to legalized polygamy, so we should be cool.

I don't know if Lionel's the jealous type. You'd have to ask him. ;)

redarmyzombie November 22, 2012 at 3:06 am

Oh, you think that's good, try that audio clip of Rush Limbaugh despairing over the fact that his party has become increasingly irrelevant. I swear, it's a proven fucking aphrodisiac!

ttommyunger November 22, 2012 at 7:35 am

Rush-Aphrodisiac-Does. Not. Compute.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

redarmyzombie November 22, 2012 at 11:41 pm

I'll admit, you have to have a VERY strong sense of schadenfreude to be able to overcome it…

ttommyunger November 23, 2012 at 5:45 am

I may have it, but I sure as Hell can't spell it. I am impressed!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: