You may have been under the impression that when Christianists think about rape, they mostly think about how women are either asking for it by not screaming quite loudly enough or dressing like the sluts that everyone knows they are, or lying about it so they can murder a babby, or maybe using it as the first metaphor that comes to mind for everything that happens, ever. But you would be incorrect! It turns out that at least some members of the wingnut beliefosphere are actually concerned about real, genuine rapey-rape of the sort that happens when a demon from hell literally forces itself sexually upon a human being. This is a topic that Susan Brownmiller never addressed, which just goes to show how out of touch the radical feminists are. This rather breathless piece in “CharismaMagazine” warns, “As bizarre as it sounds, those who minister to people in occult bondage say it’s more common than you think.” So apparently the reason this demon-rape epidemic has gone underreported is that no one was asking the experts.
What’s sort of fascinating about the article is how seamlessly it adopts the rhetorical tropes of the trauma and recovery genre:
For nearly two decades, Contessa Adams felt as though she had no power against the demonic violators of her body. She felt trapped in secrecy and shame and knew that the demons tormenting her wanted things to stay that way.
But God had another agenda for Adams when she found Christ in 1979. The former stripper has a ministry through which she exposes one of Satan’s darkest secrets — sexual demons.
Replace the stuff about demons and Jebus with secular counterparts, and you’ve got a couple of paragraphs that would be at home in any magazine of the last 30 years — just change “ministry” to “support group.”
Of course, this topic does involve some special challenges, such as the trivial detail that incorporeal sexual predators do not actually exist, so the writer kind of has to take normal human sexuality and turn it into something horrific. Fortunately for the author, that is pretty much a wingnut’s default setting when it comes to normal human sexuality:
These spiritual rapists, as Adams describes them in her book, Consequences, often prey on people by performing sexual acts through nightmares and erotic dreams. Some people become so dependent upon these demonic experiences that they actually look forward to them.
“Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you … they’re worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people,” says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons.
We are told, in complete seriousness, that the main types of “identifiable sexual demons” are the incubus (male) and the succubus (female), and that while these absolutely real monsters primarily plague opposite-sex human victims, some “also lure people into homosexual behavior.” Indeed, even Contessa Adams admits that “the succubus spirit that used to attack her confused her so much that she contemplated becoming a lesbian.”
Happily, you can probably save yourself from these awful sex demons through a combination of tidying up and — whee! — submission:
Adams believes the most valuable tool against these sexual demons is based on Matthew 12:44, which speaks of when a demon is cast out and then looks to return, but finds the house is clean, swept and in order. People must have their houses in order so that a demon can no longer gain entrance, Adams says. It is a part of the reprogramming process that takes place when an individual submits his or her life to God.
“The Holy Spirit has to reprogram you. If you’re not programmed for obedience, it’s hard to do so,” she teaches. “Once you come out of that world, you’re learning what you can do and what you cannot do. With the Holy Spirit, if [you] go to touch that fire, He will quicken you and tell you, ‘No.’”
You suppose maybe this might help explain why these idiots have such medieval ideas about sex and say such insane things about rape to start with? Nahhh, that’s crazy talk, we know.
Sadly, the article does not identify any other figures from medieval folklore that we should be worried about, so should you be attacked by a Tarasque, you’re on your own. You might try bathing it in holy water and showing it the cross. If that doesn’t work, try activating your Pikachu (assuming you have enough Electric energy cards). Tarasque is especially vulnerable to Thunderbolt, whch can cause 30 to 70 damage.
For once, we recommend reading the comments on the original article, because many readers are quite skeptical about the subject matter. Of course, the reason they are skeptical is that sex demons aren’t actually mentioned in the Official Rulebook, so really, this is mostly a dust-up about whether this particular bit of fanfic conforms to canon.
Check out Wonkette on Facebook and Twitter, and, if your house is clean and you have sufficient charisma points, Doktor Zoom is on Twitter too.




{ 283 comments }
Thank you for saving us from recipe madness Dok. Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking recipes on this motherfucking board!
Is that 2012 Baldar saying it or 2010 Baldar?
Ooooooh, man…and here I thought I came down again….wow….
2008. Bladar was always ahead of his time.
I didn't realize 2008 Baldar managed to avoid the great comment move purge.
Yeah, well you were saying something different in the primaries.
Today is OHJB's 70th birthday. I wonder why Trix hasn't posted about this?
You should sample my exes' Sufferin' Succubus Succotash recipe.
Wait. Where are the three year old recipes??????
Yeah! furthermore,
You may have been under the impression that when Christianists
I'm still experiencing time warp tedium. There is talk of "christianists" yet today ain't "Sunday with teh Lord." [??]
Right. It's only Tuesursday.
If you do the Time Warp during the Te Deum, you may be escorted out of the cathedral.
I bet demon sex is pretty good.
Is any sex ever bad?
Yes. There is such a thing as bad sex….
Unpossible
Know the term "minute man?" ;-)
Anytime there's a lot of apologizing.
There was that one time my hand was in a cast.
Oh yes, I recall a man called “Ed Sullivan”-truly but not that Ed Sullivan, smallest penis I have ever seen, and no clue as to what to do to compensate.
Yea, but having seen you I can guaran-damn-tee you the sex wasn't bad for HIM!
Lizzie (pointing and laughing): Who do you expect to satisfy with that?!?!
Ed: Uh, myself?
Aww thanks, I am sure I was adequate, but he did get to touch the fabulous 34Gs.
But he claimed he was a really big show…er, right?
It was the classic Irish Curse.
He said "shoe," however
If you can't cut the mustard, you better know how to lick the jar?
I love you.
Whoever said 'bad head is better than no head' never had truly bad head. When all you want to do is shoo their head away and leave, none would have been better.
DEAR GOD THE TEETH
All I really have to say on that topic.
Sounds Legit.
Hey if the succubi look like Dr Zoom's pic, count me in. Hail Satan!
Depends on your mythos. I'd prefer mine look just a little bit more mature. (that's a wink and a nudge to you, Anime Community at Large)
For nearly two decades, Contessa Adams felt as though she had no power against the demonic violators of her body.
Dammit! I tipped well! What is her problem?????
Yes, but did you wear the dog collar like she asked?
Wait…what?
Just the tip.
So. The Devil made them do it?
This all seems like the devil is in the details, doesn't it?
De Devil is in de tails, yes…
Beats taking actual responsibility for ones actions every time. I was gonna not get all coked up and go to that hotel with the hookers, but they were SUCCUBI and I was all enchanted and enslaved and stuff.
"People must have their houses in order so that a demon can no longer gain entrance,"
Doesn't ADT offer a security system for this problem? If nothing else, lock your doors.
Call Orkin, also, too.
I thought holding an aspirin between one's knees was the correct procedure. I haz confuse.
Maybe demons are just interior decorators that have had enough.
One can only move a fern around sooo many times.
Rosemary's Baby wasn't a novel.
It's a cookbook!
Annie: The first passage will allow the demon to manifest itself in the flesh.
Ash: Why the hell would we want to do that?
What is this post? I'm still waiting on Ann Coulter's green bean casserole recipe.
Speaking of a succubus….
the one seasoned with a quart of vodka ?
And the bitter, bitter tears of a has-been acquiring self-knowledge.
Yup and the secret ingredient is hateful ignorance.
and a dash of horseface
PS – quart of vodka is my signature drink
Mostly just jerked meat in a bile sauce. Green beans are a liberal plot.
Adams believes the most valuable tool against these sexual demons is based on Matthew 12:44, which speaks of when a demon is cast out and then looks to return, but finds the house is clean, swept and in order.
So.. a good douche and you're good?
but finds the house is clean, swept and in order
But does that create a problem for single-wide loving meth Jebus?
What worries me is the Cable TV possibilities. Shudder… Hoarders…
So.. a good douche and you're good?
What's John McCain got to do with the devil?
a good douche . . .
For sure, I don't get no nookie until after the dishes are done.
And, you have to make sure the bushes are pruned.
Incubus … succubus … where did I put that Monster Manual? It's in one of these boxes, I know it is.
I had one of those.
I was thinking the same thing. And here Dok says they are outside the rules.
Psst, they're Tanar'ri; the Baatezu equivalent are the Erinyes.
What the hell is that shit? Oh – you're one of those whippersnappers with no respect for tradition. In my day you had the Players Handbook, the Dungeon Master's Guide, and the Monster Manual – and we liked it!
Get off my lawn!
Hey, that's from my day, in the ancient times of 2nd Ed.! I can't remember which were devils and which were demons off back in 1st Ed. though.
For non-nerds, they changed the names from devils and demons because of moronic Christianists who actually claimed that D&D taught teenagers real magic and got them to worship Satan. Really, fundies are dumb.
I refuse to recognize anything published after 1984. I still have my Deities and Demigods manual with the Cthulhu myth in it.
Fundamentalist!
Does that make you Amish or Mennonite?
J'accuse!! I think you just made up some random words here to fool everybody into thinking it's some Deep Nerd Obsession that only the nerdiest of nerds geek over!
No, the Tanar'ri, or demons, are the Chaotic Evil Fiends, and inhabitants of the Abyss:
http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Tanar%27ri
While the Baatezu, or devils, are Lawful Evil Fiends who reside in the Nine Hells also called Baator:
http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Baatezu
The two groups are eternally fighting in the Blood War, a war between Order and Chaos (while both sides are, you know, evil) which is probably good news for the good inhabitants of the outer planes since they will never fight together.
Is this how you spend your day, instead of making MissTaken's sammiches?!
Bah! In my day you were high end if you had moved on from the blue and white D&D cover and were all into AD&D.
To see if I should reply, I rolled a d20….
So that's the devil who appears in my dreams every night and not Ryan Gossling?
Count your blessings. Sometimes he manifests as a large and moving Torg.
For a second there I read that as "a large and moving Torgo" and had a rather different image in my head.
My wife doesn't call hers a "Torg", she calls it a "BOAR" (battery operated asshole replacement).
"I take care of the place while the master is away!"
Ah, The Beast of Yucca Flats.
Hey girl. Just lay back and enjoy it.
YES! I'm just sorry I can only give one upfist…
You are saying they are not one in the same?
TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!
It's really a lot of fun cracking on these folks, but I hate to think that I share the same roadways and restaurants and public facilities with them. They should really seek psychiatric help.
Speaking as a mental health professional, I don't really think you'd want someone with such a lively sexual imagination as a patient.
What about Jung and the spanky-panky with Sabina Spielrein and having his mistress/analyst Toni Wolff over for dinner with his wife and kids? Granted, he did spend a couple of years working on his Big Book Of Insane Vision Watercolors…
And the problem with this is…?
Charisma Magazine? Should be called "Ghost-Jizma."
I'm confused. Is this a sweet or a savory dish?
Imaginary lovers
Never turn you down
When all the others turn you away
They're around
I want a Cthulhu baby.
Shouldn't you have a Cthulhu baby shower first?
Cthulhu is very old-fashion, He would insist on marriage first.
It would have robster craws! How cute!
"those who minister to people in occult bondage" – P. T. Barnum wept.
I'm willing to minister to anyone in bondage, occult or otherwise.
There's a succubus born every minute!
You say "raped by demons" like that is a bad thing. PRUDE!!
Depends on which demon(s) you're talking about. Some steamy, oiled-up succubus/incubus? Sure. "Papa" Nurgle, the Chaos God of Pestilence and Decay? KILL YOURSELF NOW!!!
Adams believes the most valuable tool against these sexual demons is based on Matthew 12:44, which speaks of when a demon is cast out and then looks to return, but finds the house is clean, swept and in order. People must have their houses in order so that a demon can no longer gain entrance, Adams says.
So if your house is messy, you're gonna get devil-raped? So it's the spiritual equivalent of letting your ankles show, I guess. "Your honor, I couldn't help attacking this woman in her dreams — have you seen her kitchen? She was begging for it."
Apparently, cleanliness IS next to godliness.
Would Todd Akin and the rest of the Teabagger Rape Lovers Club approve?
This is a woman talking about how she "reprogrammed" away any thought of sex as a pleasurable experience for her. So, yes, they'd approve, wholeheartedly, but only after chastising her for ever thinking that way in the first place.
With the Holy Spirit, if you go to touch that fire, He will quicken you and tell you, ‘No.’”
If that doesn't work, try saltpeter.
Dok, I can't believe you didn't take an opportunity to link to this. Or even this. So many words up there, so many wasted hyperlink opportunities.
Wait'll she gets visited *down there* by demon sheep. That's when the real problems start.
*throws Serta mattress out the window*
Shorn begorrah that would be a wooly problem.
They're very good at grazing, if you know what I mean.
'Sexual Demons' was a great song.
Ah, the prequel to the big Marvin Gaye hit, "Sexual Healing"
iStockphoto Devil is NOT scary.
I'll give this recipe a try, but I'm not sure the rest of the family is going to like it.
Add more bourbon.
And less family.
They'd probably prefer it to brussel sprouts.
As bizarre as it sounds, those who minister to people in occult bondage say it’s more common than you think
It doesn't sound "bizarre" at all. If you happen to be a magistrate in the Court of Oyer and Terminer in 1692 Salem Town.
“The Holy Spirit has to reprogram you.
So… Moonies are sexual demons? Who knew?
So who is the audience for this? Single xtian women who just left bad relationships that were sexually fulfilling?
Tsk. Tsk. Single Xtian women are chaste…. amirite?
Oh yes, all of them, Katie.
Or being chased by their demon lover…it depends upon whose turn it is…oh, chaste….never mind…
Gosh. My dreams and/or nightmares always have me driving backwards really, really fast. And the brakes don't work.
Not sure if this sheds any light on my waking hours, part of which consists of trying to get to the bottom of the Vodka bottle.
Demon sexy time? I thought I was earning a Merit Badge!
Aaaah! That's where the morning wood is coming from.
I'm dating an incubus.
Lucky!
I light candles, burn incense, play Barry White, yet still no demon peen. What am I doing wrong? Believe me, my house is filthy.
So…can I have your number?
I dunno. Did you cascade from heaven, cast forth in rebellion with the host of the evening star, Lucifer, called lightbringer and lord of lies? Have you spent these many eons in the lake of the dammed, venturing forth only to tempt and defile? Are you into oral and hung like a mule?
Just, you know, curious….
Hullo, I'm a dude, so even if I didn't, I wouldn't admit it.
But yes to the last two
Talk dirty to me. The power of christ compels you.
ROTFLMAO! Comment of the Thread.
If it's legitimate demon rape, the body has a way to shut that down.
All demon rapes must be legitimate, then, because nobody ever got pregnant from one. QED!
Rosemary Libel!
I think Dick Cheney's mother did.
At least this pic doesn't have a My Little Pony with demon wings…
You've got charisma! And by charisma, I mean a demon in your twat!
Vinegar, hell! That's gonna need the sulfuric acid douche.
But charisma is almost always a dump stat…
Dammit, I was hoping for Ms. Carpenter.
Mmmmm… hot demon anime.
Needs moar tentacles.
Evil sex is the best sex. Ride me my incubus!
Yes yes, all my nightmares are such that I worry I won't be able to find so pleasurable an experience in waking life. That's why they're nightmares, right?
“identifiable sexual demons” are the incubus (male) and the succubus (female),"
Do these succubi expect you to take them to dinner and a movie, or do the just come over and fuck your brains out? I'm asking for a friend.
Hi, friend.
Dude, it says "suck".
Can I be that Fiend?
I wonder if this was Mary's first excuse and no one bought it so…
Sooooo, where would one find a succubus? I need to know for a friend.
Go to an airport restroom and stand widely in the stall. . .
No, it says succubus…I'm thinking the Port Authority here..
♫The people on the succubus go up and down,
up and down,
up and down…♫
The story about the Tarasque is particularly heartwarming.
Sigh. I've been looking for some good demon sex rape for years, but I always seem to wind up at the bar on the wrong night.
Is it Sunday again already? Man, I gotta lay of the vodka!
Bigfoots/feet, however, are real.
So……look out for those. They mostly hang around poorly-lit bars at closing time.
2.3 miles, if she's menstruating.
Sorry I changed the joke 20 seconds after posting. I indicated that Bigfoots could identify sluts by smell.
Hey, you changed the joke on me! ;)
No, the Sasquatch did. They objected to trade secrets being revealed.
It was just another hiccup in the space-time continuum.
Do you mean something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsm5f9JiIZc
If you have to fight a Tarasque you really are screwed; they're the toughest creatures in the entire Monstrous Compendium, at least in the First, Second and Third Editions (Fourth Edition just sucks so I haven't paid much attention to it).
Even if you've run through the whole sorting order of evil?
I thought incubusses were where they put the small babbys.
I try to keep my house clean swept but I have two border collies and they shed.
The problem with demon sex is they never want to cuddle afterwards.
Clearly, I am not a demon then.
Awww… :0)
At the right times…..
Oh, DO tell us more!
I remember the Vanity Fair article about that idiot Dr. Laura some years back. The guy who took the naked pictures of her said he called her "Ku Klux" because she was a demon under the sheets. Just another reason we can't have nice things.
So, Dok, any directions in the article on how to invite demons into your bedchamber? You know, just for a little change of pace?
I've never been granted the gift of demon dick. Must be because I keep the house nice and clean.
Its not as much fun as you would think. I understand the barbs get annoying.
Best part about dream sex? No chance of pregnancy. HUSH AND ENJOY IT, WOMENZ
November-Coming-Tarded
I'm surprised Dok coulnd't find a cartoon pony to illustrate this.
Shhhhhhhhhh! Don't encourage 'im!
Here you go!
http://media.gamerevolution.com/images/misc/Image… http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/010/9/c/da…
http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs15/f/2007/055/2/6/De…
Soros, you need to get Taken to take you out more.
Rule 34.2 in action.
But you don't know Taken; that would mean more ponies.
"bill bleckley • a day ago
R u serious why would u even mention this have we as believers gotten. So low to even think about these stupid things. MY JESUS SAYS GO ANS SIN NO MORE IM TIRED OF ARTICLES LIKE THIS IT IS TIME TO PUT THE DEVIL BACK IN HIS PLACE UNDER THE MICRISCOPE WHERE HE BELONGS"
This is perfect! I would say that one of you posted it, but it is from yeesterday…
I keep sweeping my house, but that just leaves me tired and sticky.
Is that what they are calling that now?
"Adams believes the most valuable tool against these sexual demons is based on Matthew 12:44"
Here I thought the most valuable tool against any demons is the Slayer, one girl in all the world, a chosen one. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number.
Sounds like some good slash fic.
Joss Whedon libel!
Wait, stop the swell of their member? Oh, you said number. That's different, never mind…
Adds new meaning to the term "The devil made me do it."
I don't want to think about what an omnibus or a metrobus would do. I won't mention the minibus.
The airbus is the ticket.
From the comments:
"The mating of the sons of God (generally understood as angels) with human females was a one time occurrence that brought about catastrophic judgment upon the earth. 2 Peter 1:4-5 and Jude 6 shows that these angels were confined in darkness, being bound for the day of judgment. These is no indication that it has been happening since them and the gravity of the judgment suggests that it was a unique event like the flood, its punishment (and not a current occurrence) and that the demons that are still free did not cross that line or they to would be bound."
Reading this is JUST LIKE reading a bunch of sci-fi nerds arguing about whether the hobbits should use light sabers or how many dragons are in Dune, or whatever.
Stay out of Sorosbot's Intensedebate history!!
THERE ARE NO DRAGONS IN Dune! How dare you, sir!
Worms, wyrms, same thing.
That's funny; all my succubus-induced dreams involve being turned into a sheep and forced to solve puzzles.
EDIT: OK, there was that one dream where the succubus turned into my mom but… that was kinda weird for all involved. We don't talk about that any more.
"Adams believes the most valuable tool against these sexual demons is based on Matthew 12:44, which speaks of when a demon is cast out and then looks to return, but finds the house is clean, swept and in order. People must have their houses in order so that a demon can no longer gain entrance, Adams says"
They're talking about femine hygeine here, right? See, this bible stuff isn't that hard.
I need to give the lady that cleans my house a raise.
My genie just gives hand jobs, so I'm going to have to check out the local demon scene.
If the demon looks like Michael Fassbender in Hex, I'm all for this. Actually, if it looks like Michael Fassbender in anything I'm for it.
My place is a freaking pigstye and I haven't been laid in em, months. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?
Maybe it's time to go to work for the SEC.
How many Demons do you think are in prison? How many do they catch you think?
Where do I sign… in BLOOD?
If you're out of Holy Water, use tap water. They'll never know the difference.
This happens to me when I'm AWAKE!!!!!!!
Like……..in the shower…….
Were you sweeping your house?
This is good news for the Ghostbusters.
Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
I thought that, during the rectification of the Vuldrini, the Traveler came as a large and moving Torg?
Ah, but you forget about the McKetrick supplicants.
http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2008/7/3/128595…
Nice doggy.
Wait, since God means for women to get rape, does he also mean for them to get demon raped? In which case, as it is all part of God's plan, what is the problem with a little demon rape?
What the fuck is with you libtards and logic?
You know, the way these Christianists describe the "sexual demons" it almost sounds like they're talking about having normal healthy sex drive, which they pretend is somehow wrong, creating pathology in their believers and driving them to accept "therapy" that is pretty much brainwashing and rather abusive and sickening. Almost.
Lies! The Tarasque is actually very well-equipped to handle Thunderbolt; while it doesn't have a direct energy resistance, it does have spell resistance 32 and a reflective carapace that redirects 30% of incoming spell effects back at the caster before resistance is applied.
" So apparently the reason this demon-rape epidemic has gone under reported is that no one was asking the experts." Or, complaining.
To be fair, while they don't show up in the Official Rulebook, they almost certainly existed in King James's homebrew setting, since he personally presided over trials of witches for consorting with the sex demons in question, and put more than a couple to death.
UNIX is the only thing Christians should worry about!
In UNIX, it's perfectly acceptable for daemons to talk to children through pipes….
Not only acceptable, but common. They're constantly forking.
I remember that ad where they were trying to hire some Eunuchs programmers…
Oo, inter-thread communication. Are you using SysV shared memory for that?
If the company nurse stops by, tell her I said never mind.
Daemons talk to children through pipes? the FIENDS!!!
This is the one instance where you can lay back and enjoy it.
Is there no mention of the Inkubus and Tattubus, demons who are really into Skin Art?
Yeah, it's all well and good and everyone is having a good time and then the demon melts off your face.
It's Casper, the rapey ghost!
Worst. Penthouse Forum. Ever.
Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me, but the other day when I ordered Pizza, I was raped by a large and attractive Demon from the fifth level of Tartarus.
Incubus. Succubus. All I need to know is can I afford the monthly note and what is the fuckin' MPG?
You know what they say… Demon in the head, demon in the bed.
My worst nightmare is when my dreams are invaded by a blue / corny comedian with a big nose. You know, an inka-dinkubus.
I once dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up, my pillow was gone. True story
That is the worst Twilight fan fic EVAH!!!
Crazy Christian alternative reality fiction.
I think she's talking about masturbation. Did I get that right? She's talking about masturbation? What do I win?
Just lie back, close your eyes, and think of Beelzebub.
You know, Ms. Contessa Adams, I find the whole "asking for it" idea as contemptible as any sane person out there – but when you have a name that gets rejected by Tim Burton as "too gothic", you're pretty much asking for demonic intruders. Your only hope is that these satanic meddlers get distracted by your potential neighbor, Percy Barchester Stoker.
Oh, for crying out loud!
Wait, we went from Thanksgiving food to anime girls? Today's a good day on Wonkette.
Every day's a good day on Wonkette.
JK Rowling just got a new idea for a Harry Potter follow-up, "Harry and the Occult Bondage."
"Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you … they’re worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people,…” – Mortal Republican people to be sure.
"The Entity"……revisited…….
Now, that book creeped me the FUCK out.
But…but…doesn't Matthew continue the story with an invasion of seven more demons?
"Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation."
Something to look forward to, I guess.
No wonder my mother always had the house clean, swept and in order.
Manga demon babes>ponies.
I completely and utterly appreciate the Pokemon reference. lol But, Tarasque appears to be a ground-type Pokemon, so only an inexperienced trainer would use an electric attack.
These ladies just need to lie back and think of Hades.
Dok, I don't have a Pikachu. Will my Gengar do the trick instead, or can I go with any Electric type?
I actually had "or any electric type" in the parentheses, then swapped in the stuff about energy cards. Kid Zoom, who had all that stuff memorized when he was like 6, said that was dumb, because no electric attacks require additional cards. That's not how I remembered it.
Eh, It's been a while since I've played; I'll have to ask my peeps who are still in the loop.
I assume this refers specifically to tidying up "down there", to keep the demons out, and as such, I heartily agree with this tactic.
You swore you'd never mention that.
Whiskey Dick?
It looks like a penis , only smaller.
ZING
I suspected as much, but I went with the easy joke instead.
I take it he wasn't good with the tongue either. Too bad.
And suddenly I'm jealous in absentia.
Damn, is the new iPhone already out??
I have never been brave enough to actually use that expression in real life!
"Hung like a lightswitch."
I know and you promised the check was in the mail.
Well, at least I kept my word on not coming in your mouth.
Or crying, by either party.
Or a baby carrot.
Hung like a mouse.
Is that what that was? ;-)
I remember cutting out the chits in my BD&D set, because I was too cheap to buy dice.
Hung like a 17th century witch.
Too soon?
YES!!!1!
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