CLASS-WAR TRUMP-STYLE  5:55 pm November 19, 2012

Trump’s Vegas Restaurant Gains Popularity Among Bacterial Culture Community

by Wonkette Jr.

i'm a fancy boyIt’s been roughly twenty minutes since our boy Donald Q. Worthington Trump has been in the news, so here’s some background in case you’re unfamiliar with the underreported saga of everyone’s favorite honey-tinted quaff:

The Donald is a massively successful businessman who owns pretty much everything you could imagine owning. Trump is also a popular dissident against a government so radically Socialist it prevents people from being free and owning things. He mastered the art of smelling Kenyans in the late ’90s atop a mountain in Nepal, huddled around a stack of King magazines while sniffing sample patches of sandalwood cologne. Since then he’s achieved enlightenment, reaching the level of MASTER BIRTHER. And he would have been President too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids and their stupid dog.

So what’s The Donald up to now? Sticking it to the LIBRIL FASCISTS by ignoring those pesky and oppressive laws that require restaurants to serve people safe food, that’s what! Sure, the Trump International Hotel in Las Vegas had its steakhouse shut down temporarily after logging 51 health code violations during a regular inspection, but can you prove they weren’t planted by the Obama cartel? Besides, we’re positive it’s still the best place on The Strip to mumble about government takeovers with a mouth full of moldy yogurt. Five stars for that, right?

While ready-to-eat food can be stored for up to seven days, inspectors at DJT reported finding the old caviar and yogurt, duck that dated back to June, veal stock and tomato sauce that was almost two weeks old, and expired peanut dressing and black bean chili.

Inspectors found no measures to destroy parasites in undercooked halibut and salmon, and noted that raw tuna was being improperly thawed. Icicles were found in a faulty freezer.

NOT THE CAVIAR! Why is Donald Trump class-warring like that??!?1!

Maybe the food could be a little more, well, fresh, but these issues wouldn’t exist if ObamaCare hadn’t violently murdered half the restaurant’s staff in their sleep. Why, before ObamaCare you could hire twenty people just to check expiration dates in your restaurant – that shit is hard, and without dedicated staff to give labels a cursory glance and throw out outdated material, we’ll likely all be stuffing our faces with expired meat and tainted dairy any day now. No restaurant is safe –- if a TRUMP establishment isn’t immune, you have to expect a thousand years of Obamacare darkness at your local Denny’s and Applebee’s to begin at any moment.

Luckily, the restaurant was able to restore its “A” grade and resume operation within a few hours, so Trump can continue to focus on the Kenyan spotting and calculated pouting that will pave the way for his White House run in 20LOL.

[HuffPo]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 245 comments }

Tequila Mockingbird November 19, 2012 at 5:58 pm

If there be a God, Trump's restaurants will go the way of Guy Fieri's in Times Square.

Crank_Tango November 19, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I don't recommend the Donkey Sauce at either establishment.

malsperanza November 19, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Gotta love the squid rings, though. Who doesn't love a squid ring?

Defeatably_Joe November 19, 2012 at 6:29 pm

History's Greatest Monster.

sullivanst November 19, 2012 at 6:33 pm

The Times review of Fieri's venture will probably drive more customers there to see if it really is that bad (it probably isn't) than an enthusiastic endorsement would have.

Weeks old veal stock, on the other hand, is not much of a draw.

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Oh come on! It's aged veal!

bobbert November 19, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Vealthuselah!

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 19, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Every fat midwestern tourist in manhattan will go there just to get back at the elitist liberal media. And they will think its the best meal they've ever had because they don't know any better.

glamourdammerung November 19, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Every fat midwestern tourist in manhattan will go there just to get back at the elitist liberal media. And they will think its the best meal they've ever had because they don't know any better.

Why do you hate diarhe…er, Freedom Squirts?

CapeClod November 20, 2012 at 8:23 am

How's the grilled crow in Trumps place?

SorosBot November 19, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Trump's also been wearing expired hair for over two decades.

coolhandnuke November 19, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Piss colored cotton candy, named after Trump's coif, is a kids menu favorite at his Vegas restaurant.

Boojum November 19, 2012 at 7:02 pm

I've seen that same "hair" insulating my basement.

glasspusher November 19, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Polyisocyanurate LIBEL!

memzilla November 19, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Unlike debt issued by Trumpistan, polyisocyanurate has a high bond strength.

glasspusher November 19, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Well played. Also, unlike Trump, it eventually stops foaming!

malsperanza November 19, 2012 at 8:17 pm

But I didn't realize he was also serving it as a gourmet treat. With cheese.

HRH_Maddie November 19, 2012 at 6:01 pm

You probably deserve food poisoning from eating rancid beans if you spend money in a Trump establishment.

T3rbo November 19, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Not only do you deserve it, poor people CANNOT GET the type of food poisoning that you can. Think about the food poisoning that someone like mitt romney could get-rancid unicorn meat, white tiger soup that is 14 days old….

HRH_Maddie November 19, 2012 at 6:13 pm

It's true. I'm sure if Romney even drank milk that was on-the-turn he'd end up in the hospital. Weak stomach and such.

Negropolis November 19, 2012 at 11:01 pm

The food poisoning; It'll be UGE!

not that Dewey November 19, 2012 at 11:44 pm

People should get only as much food poisoning as they can afford.

Lascauxcaveman November 20, 2012 at 1:51 am

I don't know about deserving food poisoning, but if

a) you ever catch me in Las Vegas

and

b) I'm within a 1000-ft radius of Yoghurt

please shoot me.

BoatOfVelociraptors November 20, 2012 at 4:03 am

Trump serves up the greatest, gassiest meals in the world!

Fairtackle November 19, 2012 at 6:01 pm

The best Kitchen Nightmares ever.

Tequila Mockingbird November 19, 2012 at 6:03 pm
weejee November 19, 2012 at 6:19 pm

But the Donald is serving lamb chancres not shanks. Still with the mint jelly?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 19, 2012 at 6:24 pm

"Fuck off will you please, yeah?" At least he was polite about it. I mean, he did say "please."

T3rbo November 19, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I only went to Vegas once, and it seemed like a big horrible shopping mall where you can waste money on gambling and whores and be a big dumb fat ugly american. Is the Trump Hotel and Bacteria Farm a part of something like this? Do they let you actually piss on homeless people there in the restaurant while eating your old expired elitist nouveau rich person food? Hopefully so

MissTaken November 19, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Notice the complete lack of the word 'casino' in Trump International Hotel in Las Vegas. Trump can't even open a casino in Vegas. Not sure about the whores, but you can't even waste money on gambling at his big horrible shopping mall. What an idiot.

T3rbo November 19, 2012 at 6:12 pm

How unfortunate. Does the TRUMPPLEX at least have bum fights?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 19, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Trump has problems opening whores in Vegas too. They have some standards.

MissTaken November 19, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Unlike Trump, whores in Vegas take measures to destroy parasites.

AznMom420 November 19, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Unlike trump, whores in vegas have a union.

Chichikovovich November 19, 2012 at 7:56 pm

What was it Dorothy Parker said about prostitutes and bacteria?
"You can lead a horticulture…."

Crank_Tango November 19, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Money spent on whores is never wasted.

T3rbo November 19, 2012 at 6:34 pm

unless that whore is karl rove….

OT: Moombathon

Crank_Tango November 19, 2012 at 7:48 pm

turdblossom is the ultimate GFE–he will tell you anything you want to hear, for a price…oh yeah, sure we're gonna win Ohio, lemme get the Fix in… oh yeah…

Callyson November 19, 2012 at 6:40 pm

it seemed like a big horrible shopping mall where you can waste money on gambling and whores and be a big dumb fat ugly american.

In other words, it's just like Wall Street.

SorosBot November 19, 2012 at 7:04 pm

I read a book (and saw a movie based on it) about Las Vegas once, and apparently it's full of fat ugly Americans who morph into lizard people if you stare at them too long.

memzilla November 19, 2012 at 8:59 pm

DR. HUNTER S. THOMPSON LIBEL ENCOMIUM!!!

FeloniousMonk November 19, 2012 at 8:52 pm

The first time I lose I drink whiskey, second time I lose I drink gin. Third time I lose I eat tainted caviar, 'cause I know I'm goin' to win. Good place for a $1000 wedding, though.

DahBoner November 20, 2012 at 7:34 am

$1000 Wedding

Great punk band name! And why so much?

FeloniousMonk November 20, 2012 at 10:23 am

It's another Gram Parsons song. Music for crying into your beer.

SoBeach November 19, 2012 at 10:16 pm

it seemed like a big horrible shopping mall where you can waste money on gambling and whores and be a big dumb fat ugly american.

I've got a crush now.

IceCreamEmpress November 20, 2012 at 1:25 am

You haven't been to Las Vegas recently, then, because it is wall to wall Chinese tourists. It's kind of lovely, really, to see Chinese tourists bellowing slowly and patiently in Chinese at people who only speak English or Spanish or Kreyol.

I'm kind of digging the twilight of the Amurrican century. Fortunately I'll probably be dead before we get to the Spain phase of the lost empire cycle.

T3rbo November 20, 2012 at 11:40 am

The only time I was in Vegas was to escort some Chinese business-persons around for the SEMA show. The big cheese got a gucci wallet and said "Oh, yes." A million times to the help, and we ate at Denny's every day. I assumed that the gentlemen would want to go to the strip clubs, but fortunately, the most fluent of them told me he didn't like to ride the bus, he liked having his own personal car (his words). Ironically, I put that one on a Greyhound bus to California to visit relatives-ever seen the greyhound station in Vegas? It looks like a mad max movie.

HRH_Maddie November 19, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Bacteria is about the only culture you'll get from any Trump encounter.

NellCote71 November 19, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Wish I could give you more upfists for that one.

PopeEdgardo November 19, 2012 at 7:15 pm

"When I hear the word Trump, I reach for my gun" – Hermann Goring

Aquarianne17 November 19, 2012 at 10:59 pm

And he most likely charges extra for it.

Jukesgrrl November 19, 2012 at 6:03 pm

He knows he's going to have to pay higher taxes in the future, so he's hoarding food.

Defeatably_Joe November 19, 2012 at 6:41 pm

The gov'mint is going to come for all of his gold, because instead of keeping his Ameros in commemorative Goldline medallions, he instead decided to store it in giant letters that spell out his name, which he fashioned to the sides of all of his buildings.

Such a classic money-management mistake!

Jukesgrrl November 19, 2012 at 7:52 pm

With a special spotlight to make it shine more.

Defeatably_Joe November 19, 2012 at 7:56 pm

You can never have too many spotlights! Have enough of them, and they practically earn back the money you spend on them!

Only, make sure to use actual halogen bulbs that get so hot you could double as a stove for your rancid food, and none of those namby-pamby CFL bulbs: Real Americans can tell the difference.

BoatOfVelociraptors November 20, 2012 at 4:06 am

Screw that noise. Give me LEDs and lasers. Perhaps even an arc lamp. Filaments are for pussies!

sati_demise November 19, 2012 at 8:52 pm

All his money is 'leveraged'. he has a pocket full of debt!

PsycWench November 19, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Isn't it about time he traded in the current wife? That can get expensive too.

Jukesgrrl November 19, 2012 at 8:27 pm

The current Eastern European Hawt Wife is earning her keep.She's hawking a line of faux-expensive watches on one of the home shopping networks.You, too, can look like someone with an account in the Cayman Islands.

sati_demise November 19, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Donald Trumps 15 minutes of fame expired decades ago.

SuspectedDemocrat November 19, 2012 at 6:11 pm

More proof he pays no attention to expiration dates. (see also: hairpiece, roadkill)

OkieDokieDog November 19, 2012 at 6:04 pm

I'm surprised that The Donald didn't give that old caviar to the poors. I'm sure he could have gotten a huge tax deduction.

Mojopo November 19, 2012 at 6:19 pm

How do you know when caviar is spoiled? Does it taste like marshmallows?

bobbert November 19, 2012 at 7:48 pm

It morphs into tiny belugas?

tessiee November 19, 2012 at 7:46 pm

a huge YOOOOGE tax deduction.

Gayer_Than_Thou November 20, 2012 at 9:24 am

I'm sure expired caviar was part of the $5 million that Trump was going to donate to charity in exchange for Obama's elementary school report cards, or whatever it was. No wonder he was in such a hurry to get the deal done! He had a walk-in fridge full of caviar past the sell-by date that he needed to unload.

nounverb911 November 19, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Watch Donald make the bacteria go bankrupt.

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 6:07 pm

In closing, my final argument for retroactive abortions is, was, and always will be Mr. Donald Trump. Thank you. Please tip over the waiter on your way out. I'll be here until I can retire or die, which ever comes first.

bobbert November 19, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Don't try the veal.

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 8:57 pm

You'll notice that I left that out of the Borscht Belt Comedian closer. I'll never try the veal from a restaurant owned by a heel.

Grokenstein November 19, 2012 at 6:07 pm

"Luckily, the restaurant was able to restore its 'A' grade and resume operation within a few hours…"

WHAT

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 19, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Yeah, shouldn't they be on some sort of probation for a while? Maybe they could make sure they keep things clean for at least a week or something.

Callyson November 19, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Seriously–there was a place here that lost its 'A' grade, and it was shut for a week.

(throwing up in my mouth a little…)

valthemus November 19, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Is that how long it takes to bribe a health inspector? I suppose it takes longer when they go for hookers instead of cash.

Joshua Norton November 19, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Considering that caviar should be consumed within 3 -4 days, 6 months might be considered pushing it a wee bit.

T3rbo November 19, 2012 at 6:25 pm

pesant

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 9:24 pm

At 6 months you don't have to push caviar, it can walk out on its own power

Mumbletypeg November 19, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Wake me when the inspectors uncover a method for "safely thawing" Trump's sense of humor~

SuspectedDemocrat November 19, 2012 at 6:09 pm

That would explain Trump's updated menu:

"Thanks to Obamacare, I have nothing but rancid food to feed my customers. Please deduct the cost of food poisoning from your server's tip."

Not_So_Much November 19, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Your explosive diarrhea will be hyoooooj! The biggest you've evah seen!

AngryBlakGuy November 19, 2012 at 8:09 pm

…one time I walked into a gas station restroom and saw shyt on the ceiling, now I know what happened!

jtinks November 19, 2012 at 6:12 pm

i would pay many ameros to watch gordon ramsay scream at trump about food safety.

Callyson November 19, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Jamie Oliver or GTFO.

LibertyLover November 19, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Damn, and All I have is my Walmart scrip to spend.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 19, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Trump's reaction: "I'd like to congratulate the Southern Nevada Health District on having the brains to visit such a classy restaurant as the DJT. They are very lucky to have visited my classy place and I know how proud they are to have been here. They will never forget the experience as long as they live because of all the class."

AlterNewt November 19, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Trump / Mold Spores 2016!!

YouBetcha November 19, 2012 at 6:35 pm

You never want the VP on the ticket to have a better personality than you. Political suicide.

tessiee November 19, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Fine, Mold Spores/Palin.

AlterNewt November 19, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Very astute.

Gayer_Than_Thou November 20, 2012 at 9:27 am

Technically, I think the candidates for president and vice president have to be two different people.

e_z November 19, 2012 at 6:15 pm

If those commie unions had not shut down the Twinkie factory the Don could have his Mezicans rip open a few packs, wipe the place down and zip zap through the magic of Twinkie preservatives everything would be jake again.

finallyhappy November 19, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Yahoo says Hostess is negotiating- maybe if the employees work for a box of twinkies or something

PopeEdgardo November 19, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Absolutely. Biblical science has shown that Twinkies have a way of shutting that whole bacteria thing down.

ManchuCandidate November 19, 2012 at 6:18 pm

It was all part of giving people the Full Donald experience: feeling bloated and gassy while randomly spewing shit.

Mojopo November 19, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Maybe spend less time on birth certificate watermarks, and more on expiration dates for the food.

Joshua Norton November 19, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Luckily, the restaurant was able to restore its “A” grade and resume operation within a few hours

They just wiped down the microwave and changed the name to "Olive Garden".

slowhansolo November 20, 2012 at 4:15 am

Hey, my jerkwater burg just got an Olive Garden, well, yesterday. I'll not have you mock the sensibilities of those who wouldn't know anyway…

VodkaGoGo November 19, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Is food poisoning another one of Trump's huge surprises?

cybermoe November 19, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Spend the $5M you were gonna donate on cleaning up you own best-before-date messes Trump.

Mojopo November 19, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Imagine the tourists from Oklahoma, wearing their ankle socks and fanny packs, when the inspectors shut it down mid-meal.

tessiee November 19, 2012 at 7:49 pm

On the Sabbeth.

docterry6973 November 19, 2012 at 8:24 pm

I like fanny packs.

Mojopo November 19, 2012 at 8:31 pm

I think you're sweet.

Defeatably_Joe November 19, 2012 at 6:27 pm

I'm not surprised; Trump was already an anti-vaxer, and with the right-wing's war on climate science, evolution and geology, it kinda makes sense that the next thing they'd go after would be the Germ Theory of Disease (it's JUST A THEORY!!!1)

sullivanst November 19, 2012 at 6:36 pm

He's just doing his anti-vaxer part, exposing any kids in his restaurant to diseases so they can build up antibodies without needing to be vaccinated. It's just a profiteering version of a measles party.

actor212 November 20, 2012 at 7:11 am

Which is really weird because, well, I've met Trump. He refuses to shake hands with anyone and has a flunky carry around a bottle of hand-santizer at all times. Whenever he touches anything, he wipes his hands down.

One of the most bizarre things I've ever seen. Also, he never drinks, and I almost told my boss to never trust anyone who doesn't even toast with a glass of wine until I remembered he doesn't drink either.

Something about NY real estate does that. Neither Helmsley drank, either, if I recall.

MissTaken November 19, 2012 at 6:36 pm

WHERE in the BIBLE does JEESUS say rancid caviar make you sick?1! TEACH the CONTROVERSY!

emmelemm November 19, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Uh, actually wasn't the part in the Bible about not eating shellfish (yes I know caviar are not shellfish) really a health proscription?

MissTaken November 19, 2012 at 6:43 pm

What are you, a MUSLIN KENYAN?! Trump is CLASSY and so is his rancid CAVIAR!1!

But yes, health concerns due to lack of refrigeration were the real reason behind no shellfish.

emmelemm November 19, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Well, then the Bible does say that rancid caviar will make you sick. :)

SorosBot November 19, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Rancid caviar makes you sick because it's unclean, NOT because of any so-called germs! Really, we're supposed to believe there are tiny living things when they're so small we can't even see them? Stupid scientists think we're so foolish to believe something exists when they've never seen them with their naked eye! No it's because of the anger of god and the angels!

bobbert November 19, 2012 at 7:51 pm

How many bacteria can dance on the head of a pin?

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 9:28 pm

In Trump's case, it's more like how many can dance on a pin head.

Defeatably_Joe November 20, 2012 at 6:46 am

Exactly!
Or perhaps
Or maybe it's

Remember, I'm not a physician, man, and I can tell you what Aristotle said, and I can tell you what books on Dianetics say, but that's really a debate for philosophers to have. And whether disease is caused by demonic possession, or by misaligned humors, or a dysfunctional body thetan, we'll never know; it's one of the great mysteries.

Come here a minute November 19, 2012 at 6:28 pm

It's no surprise from a guy who's been wearing a dead thing on his head for decades.

Aridzona November 19, 2012 at 6:30 pm

When the local food bank turns down your leftovers, you know there's a problem.

sati_demise November 19, 2012 at 8:56 pm

that actually happened here with a Walmart donation. just sayin'

Crank_Tango November 19, 2012 at 6:32 pm

That bacteria is just jealous and ugly, and possibly a lesbian.

starfanglednut November 19, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Yeah, I saw a couple of them wearing flannel shirts and riding home on a motorcycle.

Close_Read November 19, 2012 at 6:33 pm

I hope no droppings from that thing on Trump's head fell into the Socialist burgers.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 19, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Perhaps, because of Obamacare, Trump was just trying to grow his own Penicillin.

JimmyPete November 19, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Trump is a rent a name, like Twinkies, and about as nourishing. Anyone who get's taken in by Trump's name on cheaply built overpriced condo's, bad ties made by slaves, roach infested casinos and now unsanitary steak houses, deserve what they get.

Callyson November 19, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Inspectors found no measures to destroy parasites

Well, of course not–The Donald isn't suicidal, you know.

CthuNHu November 20, 2012 at 12:16 am

Professional courtesy.

MissTaken November 19, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Classy caviar comes with e coli.

tessiee November 19, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Yeah, but if you look under a microscope, the little e coli are wearing tiny top hats and monocles, and their flagella have one pinky up.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 19, 2012 at 6:41 pm

It is all starting to make sense. A strange species of space bacteria descends upon the Earth. For millions of years, it lies dormant, waiting for the right host to come along. Then, one day, it finds a host with so little brain matter, it can fill his entire head. The bacteria takes off in its new habitat, living so well that it starts to send tendrils through the skull, looking for more empty heads to grow in….,

But, that is too slow. How can it spread itself quicker? Use the host to open up a bad restaurant where foolish people will eat whatever you put out in front of them, just because the host has been on television. As long as the living conditions in the kitchen are kept just right, nothing can stop it.

If you can find a better explanation of Trump or Guy Fieri, I would like to hear it.

emmelemm November 19, 2012 at 6:50 pm
viennawoods13 November 19, 2012 at 8:27 pm

I still remember leaving the movie theatre and going across the road to the shopping mall, and looking around at the all the pod people.

BlueStateLibel November 19, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Damn, that would make an excellent plot for a Stephen King horror novel.

cousinitt November 19, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Get me Michael Crichton and someone alert the Wildfire team, stat!

glasspusher November 19, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Well, you'll have to dig him up first…

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 19, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Hasn't stopped Breitbart yet.

PopeEdgardo November 19, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Applying Occam's hair-clippers, I'd say in-breeding is a likelier explanation. But hey, man, I'm not a scientist.

Sharkey November 19, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Urp.

That didn't taste right.

Negropolis November 19, 2012 at 11:11 pm

BRILLIANT snark. Bloody fuckin' brilliant.

cousinitt November 19, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Garçon! Yes, I'll start with the oysters rockefeller et staph, followed by the salad coli niçoise, a bottle of your '03 Chateau Latour Martillac Bordeaux, and for the main course, your trumproast à la donalde, well-done, and for dessert, the listeria-infused cheescake, with the salmonella topping.

tessiee November 19, 2012 at 7:52 pm

*yells over shoulder to kitchen*
One Tuesday Special!

docterry6973 November 19, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Hmmm. Some good eatin' right there.

Sparky November 19, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Can I interest Monsieur in an after dinner mint?
Fuck off, I'm full.
But Monsieur, it 's just a wafer thin mint…

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Would you like a side of flies with that?

Dudleydidwrong November 19, 2012 at 10:55 pm

"And bring some shit for my fly" http://www.myspace.com/bkliban/photos/186753#%7B%

Antispandex November 19, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I thought the old saying was, "You get what you pay for". Donny, apparently, hasn't that opinion when it comes to cuisine. Or, he just like his caviar and duck…aged?

Rotundo_ November 19, 2012 at 6:51 pm

How does a restaurant get its "A" rating back in mere hours? Flush twice?

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Flush, yes…with cash!

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 6:52 pm

old caviar and yogurt

And to think a sturgeon died giving birth for this.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 19, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Trump?

actor212 November 20, 2012 at 7:12 am

Thats an insult to a throwback prehistoric fish.

BlueStateLibel November 19, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Another shitty restaurant run by an obnoxious vulgarian is shitty, who would have thought?

JustPixelz November 19, 2012 at 6:57 pm

."..reaching the level of MASTER BIRTHER".

I studied baiting.

coolhandnuke November 19, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Trump has progressed from demanding birf certificates to creating barf certificates.

AznMom420 November 19, 2012 at 6:58 pm

It's not the 99% Lactobacillus, but the 1% Trumpylococus that'll kill you.

ChickTract_Fil_A November 19, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Trump now has 2 regulators he's gonna close down on Day One of his presidency: 1.) That pesky Nevada Gaming Commission for snooping around the crap tables, and 2.) That pesky Nevada Health Commission for snooping around the tables of crap.

Beowoof November 19, 2012 at 7:19 pm

How about a pesky bankruptcy judge asking question on how Donald did this.

mosjef November 19, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Waiter, there's orange hair in my soup.

Troglodeity November 19, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Love the Scooby Doo reference. Appropriate, too, since Trump's establishments serve glorified dog food.

snowpointsecret November 19, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Is this even a question? Of course I'd go to Guy Fieri's place before Donald Trump's. Just think about it. It's Donald Trump. You get your steak with a side of wingnuts, and those don't exactly go through the system very well.

LibertyLover November 19, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Regulations and laws to protect the consumer. Who can explain them?

Beowoof November 19, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Well regulating to protect the public, what do you mean, screw em just get their money.

corthylio November 19, 2012 at 7:24 pm

The expiration dates come and they go. Nobody can explain it.

Negropolis November 19, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Well, you see, when a president loves his FDA very much…

Monsieur_Grumpe November 19, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Trump should get into a business that better suits him like trash hauling, professional clown or village idiot.

AznMom420 November 19, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Wouldn't it be awkward when he's too lazy to haul himself to the dump and just ends up in his neighbor's pool?

LibertyLover November 19, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Wait. Isn't he paid to be that now with his "reality" TV show?

LibertyLover November 19, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Salt. You can preserve just about everything with enough salt.

Beowoof November 19, 2012 at 7:21 pm

This is the secret Trump bankrupt a casino business plan. How can you expect those outside of his rarefied position to understand it.

tessiee November 19, 2012 at 9:59 pm

"How can you expect those outside of his rarefied position to understand it."

I don't even understand how you can post a comment with the c-word in it without incurring the wrath of the banhammer, much less rarefied stuff.

ChickTract_Fil_A November 19, 2012 at 7:22 pm

I live down on the poor side of The Strip (i.e. anywhere in Vegas but The Strip). Trump Tower is one God-fugly, 80's-looking P.O.S. with all the gold-plating and cheesiness you'd expect. Why am I not surprised by all of this?

bobbert November 19, 2012 at 7:55 pm

That's a clown building, bro.

Negropolis November 19, 2012 at 11:31 pm

I don't know. The west, northwest and southwest sides are pretty nice. You go anywhere north or east of the Strip and it goes from "shitty" all the way up to "decent".

rebeccavegas November 20, 2012 at 1:25 am

It's tacky, but still better than the Excalibur.

corthylio November 19, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Expired caviar? Darling, how gauche!

Beowoof November 19, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Wow put Trump and b@nk rupt in the same sentence and approval is needed.

Sparky November 19, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Were you put in moderation? Because I am getting fucked over home-made medicine jokes.

Beowoof November 19, 2012 at 8:31 pm

I didn't get any messages telling me I am in moderation. Although, occasionally I have been known to push the envelope until it breaks into confetti.

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 9:45 pm

A Trump prison sentence would probably be o.k., and to read about a long one for him would be far better than o.k.

Sparky November 19, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Why is my comment being deleted by the administrator????? While I had no profanity ( when did that ever matter), I didn't know that homeopathy & medical humor was verboten.
Can someone help?

TootsStansbury November 19, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Bwahaahahahahaahaa! Stupid Donald Trump, what an idiot.

Veritas78 November 19, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Is there a PeopleOfTrumpRestaurants website? I would love to see who's ordering caviar there. (Apparently, not very often.)

Mojopo November 19, 2012 at 7:35 pm

IM IN YER BLACK BEAN CHILI PUTTIN CURSES ON YER CILANTROS

PubOption November 19, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Just how long have you been there?

snowpointsecret November 19, 2012 at 7:45 pm

This comment still makes far more sense than anything Donald Trump has ever said.

Negropolis November 19, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Those aren't black beans…

poorgradstudent November 19, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Sounds like the type of place Libertarians should be required to eat at! It's the restaurant equivalent of Somalia.

starfanglednut November 19, 2012 at 10:20 pm

The new republican paradise: Salmonalia.

glamourdammerung November 19, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Sounds like the type of place Libertarians should be required to eat at! It's the restaurant equivalent of Somalia.

I annoyed one a few years back with my suggestion of the "It's Probably ____" line of fine pharmaceutical products. "It's Probably Your Heart Pills", etc.

tessiee November 19, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Short-fingered vulgarian.

Veritas78 November 19, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Still applies, still funny after all these years.

ifthethunderdontgetya November 19, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Heck, this picture is good for this post, too.
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/50279
~

starfanglednut November 19, 2012 at 10:20 pm

That's just sad.

LibrarianX November 19, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Coming soon: Trump Petri Dish!

LibrarianX November 19, 2012 at 7:58 pm

This is just going to make him shouty.

Mojopo November 19, 2012 at 8:08 pm
Mojopo November 19, 2012 at 8:26 pm

There, I posted something. I wish I had more time to be scathing. Hopefully you can do better.

Veritas78 November 19, 2012 at 8:35 pm

You got in all the fine points!

DemmeFatale November 19, 2012 at 11:49 pm

I love the pretentious douche that wrote the first review, for example:
"Don't get me started on tipping which is just a way to degrade the working class to the status of plebs but I digress."

viennawoods13 November 20, 2012 at 6:46 am

Piped in perfume in the lobby? Crosses Trump International off places to visit

vtxmcrider November 20, 2012 at 11:23 am

It is intended to camouflage the smell of mold and bacteria.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 19, 2012 at 8:09 pm

They sent inspectors into the kitchen … and you won't believe what they found!

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Jimmy Hoffa?

glasspusher November 19, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Trump's pizza oven: you're wood-fired!

FeloniousMonk November 19, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Junior, your proofreader just called. She wants to know if "quaff" should have been "quiff" or "queef". She says either would work.

Dashboard Buddha November 19, 2012 at 8:26 pm

It was my brief stint working in a kitchen many years ago that taught me how to turn down the gain on my personal cleanliness anxieties.

docterry6973 November 19, 2012 at 8:28 pm

I hope the hobo beans are fresh, because that is all I could afford at the Trump Palace O' Grub.

Sparky November 19, 2012 at 8:46 pm

So it's a simple medical term that's getting me deleted by the admin. Tisk, tisk.

I-n-t-e-r-t-r-i-g-o

In Donald's defense, the caviar & yogurt melange was a simple h-o-m-e-o-p-a-t-h-i-c cure for his m-o-o-b i-n-t-e-r-t-r-i-g-o.

Add that to your automated dictionary, administrators.

bobbert November 19, 2012 at 9:18 pm

It's the t-r-i-g

Sparky November 19, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Oh, darling supportive Bobert, it is apparently FUCKING everything.

MosesInvests November 19, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Completely OT-as of today, I'm single for the first time in 18 years. Not sure if I'm happy, sad or indifferent. On that note, where the hell are the Wonkette Personals?

sati_demise November 19, 2012 at 9:01 pm

learn to love living alone and you will have to fight off the babes. true!

Mojopo November 19, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Awwww. Moses, I hope this works out OK for you.

emmelemm November 19, 2012 at 9:10 pm

You're probably a little of all three at once. Hang in there.

{obligatory picture of kitten hanging on a tree branch}

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Sorry, the Personal pages got stuck together and had to be destroyed, also.

MosesInvests November 19, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Heh.

tessiee November 19, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Dude(ette), I feel your pain.
Went right from a boyfriend to a husband, then to being single for the first time since I was 20. The first night alone in the new apartment was… a bit challenging.
Also, there's nothing quite like competing with folks half your age for dates as well as jobs.
Luckily for me, I like to read, so an evening spent with a good book (or even a halfway decent one) is better than an evening spent with company that makes you wish for a cyanide pill; one of many advantages to being a nerd.
*shrug*
Try to think of it as an adventure.

Mojopo November 19, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Your p's are well deserved, tessiee.

boskolives November 20, 2012 at 3:33 am

As you get older, you begin each day by thinking "Ah, the adventure begins", then you do a mental checklist / inventory before getting out of bed to find what parts are not going to work very well or will hurt when you start to move them.
Still, considering the alternative, every day above ground is a good day.

Blueb4sinrise November 19, 2012 at 10:26 pm

When I'm happy, sad or indifferent, my go to guy is Louis Jordan.
Here in 1966 [!!!!] on "The !!!! Beat", performing the tearful, sad, melancholy, wistful, sighing ….
'Ram-Bunk-Shush'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v8HqcyCsDU&fe

tessiee November 19, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Early in the morning, and I ain't got nothin' but the blues.

LibertyLover November 19, 2012 at 11:35 pm

In most things, taking it one day at a time seems to work the best. If you are a female, the Ben and Jerry's and chocolate only goes so far. Seek out the things that give you pleasure or used to give you pleasure but you forgot. Slowly rebuild. Peace be with you on your journey.

boskolives November 20, 2012 at 3:34 am

It's Chunky Monkey or die, with votes of course.

Jennyjen798 November 20, 2012 at 1:20 am

Dating sucks ass. It was so much easier when you're young and stupid and have an excuse for being so young and fucking stupid. Now, it's just meeeeeh.

MilwaukeeKent November 19, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Oh, it's the steakhouse. I saw the headline and was worried it might be the fine Italian ristorante Ecoli! I'm sure that place is still OK.

Sparky November 19, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Bravo from GB.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 19, 2012 at 10:19 pm

The small government wingnutz won't be satisfied until we are all projectile vomiting and shedding our rotten intestinal lining every time we eat.

I'm eating a salad right now. Hope I don't die.

tessiee November 19, 2012 at 10:34 pm

If that ol' boy had axed Memaw, she'd'a done tole him the onliest time to eat deer is durin' deer season. Do NOT eat the deer you done hit with your truck; even iffen it looks OK, it ain't.

fuflans November 19, 2012 at 10:54 pm

speaking of birthers, huffpo shows me that orly taitz has got quite fat.

IceCreamEmpress November 20, 2012 at 1:27 am

Fat, drunk, and stupid is a hell of a way to go through life. She'd been staving off the trifecta until now!

docterry6973 November 20, 2012 at 7:32 am

Oh no, I might be Orly Taitz!

HistoriCat November 20, 2012 at 10:01 am

Does this mean that she is no longer "hotter, wetter, tighter…"?

Negropolis November 19, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Hmmm And here I was thinking that Donald Trump was a virus.

BTW, Vegas food inspectors do not play. You have that many buffets in a city, and you sure as hell don't want the bad press of a mass poisoning in your hotel-casino.

BZ1 November 19, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Inspectors found no measures to destroy parasites, now, who are they talking about, hint, hint?

Negropolis November 19, 2012 at 11:06 pm

If the health violations are legitimate, the health inspectors have a way of shutting the whole thing down.

ttommyunger November 19, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Flourishing bacterial growth? Trump didn't earn the title: "Amoeba Dick the Bug-Fucker" for nothing.

Negropolis November 19, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Totally OT, but Michigan is getting gay married, y'all! Bring the Faygo and Better Maid. In MSU's annual State of the State Poll, same-sex marriage is now supported by 56% of voters and opposed by 39%.

boskolives November 20, 2012 at 3:38 am

It's Vernors or Die, dammit. Well, o.k., maybe Old Fashioned Root Beer if you can sing "♪ Which way did he go, which way did he go ♪ …", or Rock & Rye if you're desperate….

docterry6973 November 20, 2012 at 7:35 am

Michigan is going to marry Ohio?

Negropolis November 20, 2012 at 9:04 am

Like hell we are. We're getting married to Ontario, since Canada is America's gay brother, after all.

tessiee November 20, 2012 at 12:44 am

Donald Trump is SO dumb…
[How dumb is he?]
He lost money running a topless car wash.

slowhansolo November 20, 2012 at 4:17 am

Well, you know, OK. I haven't been spending enough personal time with my asshole anyway.

Negropolis November 20, 2012 at 8:49 am

OT: Why is Soledad O'Brien interviewing Jeb Bush, Jr? And why did Jeb the Lesser just describe America's X factor as "America's secret sauce?" Bless their hearts. The Bush family is like a science experiment gone horribly wrong.

mrblifil November 20, 2012 at 9:09 am

I had wine from 20LOL. It was a very good year.

Misty Malarky November 20, 2012 at 10:08 am

When do we get to see Gordon Ramsay throwing up in Trump's kitchen?

vtxmcrider November 20, 2012 at 11:13 am

I thought "moldy yogurt" referred to a Trump orgasm.

memzilla November 19, 2012 at 8:53 pm

"Nice retort," he said to the chemist.

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Laboratory Libel, me thinks

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