SHARE

How Can We Miss You If You Won't Go Away?At long last, we just might maybe have a possibly-final result for the race for Florida’s 18th U.S. Congressional District. We think. As you may be aware, Florida does not have the most competent election system in the Union, which has led to a wee bit of uncertainty about whether wingnut torture-lover and Muslin-disliker Allen West has conclusively lost or not. See, the first vote count showed he was behind, but not enough for an automatic recount, so when West insisted on a recount, a judge said No Way, but then the St. Lucie County elections board said, OK, sure, we’ll recount… And then they failed to finish that recount in time for it to affect the election one way or the other, but maybe that makes no difference since the recount actually increased the lead for West’s opponent, Congressman-elect (probably) Patrick Murphy. As the New York Times essplains,

Regardless, under Florida law, previously submitted results favoring Mr. Murphy will be certified unless an emergency exemption is granted by the state.

So maybe this particular long national nightmare is over (?)

Yeah, right. Mr. West has been quite clear that he will not concede until all the votes have been counted, a position which, considering that this is Florida-for-fuck’s-sake, and constantly-shitting-the-electoral-bed St. Lucie County at that, we should probably have more sympathy for, except that this time around there’s no butterfly ballots or Katherine Harris mucking up the situation. Also, West appears to have lost by a far more conclusive total than the disputed vote count in Bush v. Gore, so there’s that. Nevertheless, as long as there’s the slightest chance that a recount may result in a different result, West will battle on.

Because Allen West is a warrior. He is a mighty Spartan. And after he came back, as mighty Spartans do, carried on his shield, he did what any defeated Spartan would do: he whined about it for two weeks and called his lawyer.

Also, too, a bit of campigning that we had somehow missed: As we all know, Mr. West, who is tired of black politicians who are stuck on the Democrat Plantation and playing the race card all the time, really is committed to raising the level of political discourse, and here’s proof: A yard sign decrying Patrick Murphy’s racist attacks on West [citation needed] with Murphy’s mug shot from a 2003 drunk & disorderly arrest…when Murphy was 19…and for which the charges were ultimately dropped:

Improving The Tone of Our Public Discourse

Oh, Allen West. We wish we could quit you.

But yeah, maybe we can give it a try.

[NYT / Palm Beach Post / Slate]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
Previous articleSad Bachmannite Party Clown Bradlee Dean Invites Children To Commit Arson, For Freedom
Next articleWalmart: What’s Good For Walmart Is Good For Country, The Children