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Wonkette fan favorite Bradlee Dean is back at it with his tireless campaign to save the youths. Why do we need Michele Bachmann BFF Bradlee Dean more than ever? Because freedom needs brush fires, duh:

Need for the Program: It is ever more urgent to use the internet to get our message out, since this is where people hang out, especially the young. Think of how many people we can reach! It does not take an overwhelming majority to reform society. It only takes an irate tireless minority setting brush fires of freedom everywhere!

Yes, the walking talking drumming preaching hairweave is here to start his very own children’s crusade. We know all young Wonketeers will be rushing to join up, so let’s look at the requirements to enlist, shall we?

What Are the Qualifications? You must be a practicing Christian, at least 13 years old, have a Facebook page, and be able to help You Can Run, International on a volunteer basis, from wherever you can get an internet connection. You must have a minimum computer know-how, such as how to copy and paste a “URL,” or website address, into a Facebook post

Yr Wonkette Jr. has the facebooks and, despite being youthful, is indeed at least 13 years old. Signing up now! Join me, won’t you? Once we’ve enlisted, we get to “make Facebook posts and put in links from other websites” with a goal of getting “hundreds, or thousands of posts per month.”

So basically you will save freedom by spamming your Facebook friends with Bible verses and becoming, at a very young age, that weird uncle who sends emails that have been forwarded approximately eleventy-hundred times. Sounds super fun!

Perhaps Mr. Dean can also use his army of children to fundraise for his legal debts to well-known homosexual agitator Rachel Maddow. Hahahaha. Who are we kidding? Bradlee Dean has no intention of paying anything because the judge is biased and loves teh geyz more than Bradlee Dean:


The affidavit also includes some remarks from Dean himself, including this: “It became clear to me that the judge, Joan Zeldon, harbored an extra-judicial bias and prejudice against me and YCR stemming from our conservative Christian advocacy against the so-called gay and lesbian political agenda, which is based in part on teaching young children in public and private schools that homosexuality is ‘normal’ societal behavior. …

Young Wonketeers, if you’re not yet ready to join up with Bradleeeeee, consider instead joining yr Wonkette Jr. in the new Wonk Social Media Slaves Extravaganza! No bottom age limit here, so enroll your children in this opportunity of a lifetime! Tons of facebooking for no monies and no awards but hey, IRATE MINORITY BRUSH FIRES OF FREEDOM.

[Bradlee Dean Info]

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