MENCKEN WAS RIGHT  1:15 pm November 19, 2012

Charlotte Allen’s Startling Insight: Lots Of Voters Are Idiots, So Sarah Palin 2016

by Doktor Zoom

Hush Hush, Sweet CharlotteCharlotte Allen, the Independent Women’s Forum writer who’s mostly known for a notorious 2008 column about how silly women just couldn’t help voting for Barry Obama because women are just such dumbbunnies, has “a suggestion for cutting short the GOP angst” in the wake of Obama’s reelection: The Republicans should just go ahead and give Sarah Palin the 2016 nomination right now. She’s so certain of the self-evident wisdom of this recommendation that she immediately follows it with “You think I’m joking? Think again.”

OK! We find your ideas intriguing! Tell us more! Also, do you have a newsletter?

First off, Allen needs to disabuse you silly fools of the “conventional wisdom” that Palin somehow hurt John McCain in 2008. That is simply not the case, she says, because science:

A national exit poll conducted by CNN asked voters whether Palin was a factor in their voting. Of those who said yes, 56% voted for McCain versus 43% for Barack Obama.

Myth BUSTED! Besides, look how badly Mitt Romney, the GOP’s so-called ” serious” candidate, did in 2012 — he actually garnered fewer votes than McCain in 2008, which somehow proves something about the legitimacy of a Palin run in 2016. And here is what it proves:

Gabriel Malor, writing for the New York Daily News’ blog, pinpointed another reason: By focusing his campaign mostly on serious economic and political issues such as the national debt and tax incentives, Romney failed to take into account the fact that large segments of the electorate neither know nor care much about serious economic and political issues.

OK, got that? Potential GOP voters were turned off by the serious intellectual heft of Mitt Romney’s serious focus on serious economic and political issues. Because god knows, the 2012 election was all about a sober discussion of the details of policy. So if those egghead “big ideas” don’t attract voters, what lesson should the GOP learn from the 2012 results?

What they — a group sometimes euphemistically called “uninformed voters” — do know and care about are the tugs on their emotions, fears, revulsions and heart strings provided by hours and hours of uninterrupted television watching.

Good heavens, Ms. Allen! That is indeed an insight: A huge chunk of the electorate is made up of mouth-breathing morons. We need to find someone who will appeal to their basest emotions. How about Sarah Palin?

Allen also neatly dismisses Obama’s victory, which couldn’t possibly have anything to do with his political positions, because, as she has established, most of us are morons who vote solely based on emotion. Stands to reason, because Barack Obama is simply such an emotional fellow:

The Democrats understood how to reach that constituency. When a barrage of Obama campaign TV ads told them that the GOP wanted to take away their contraceptives or that Bain Capital killed someone’s wife, they took notice. When Obama strolled the hurricane-stricken beaches of New Jersey in his bomber jacket, they were snowed.

Of course — because nobody in the GOP was actually calling women sluts for thinking that insurance should cover contraception; that’s just nuts! Do go on.

Palin can more than keep up with the Democrats in appealing to voters’ emotions. Hardly anyone could be more blue collar than Palin, out on the fishing boat with her hunky blue-collar husband, Todd. Palin is “View”-ready, she’s “Ellen”-ready, she’s Kelly-and-Michael-ready

And no one will notice that she is not, and has never been, “putting-two-consecutive-thoughts-into-a-coherent-sentence”-ready, so she’s golden!

Still, Allen acknowledges that Sarah Palin may just face a couple of trivial obstacles, but it is manifestly evident that only Bad People (elitists, mostly) could find fault with her:

Sure, there is going to be never-ending nastiness from the left, but she’s already lived through that once. Katie Couric? A has-been. Tina Fey? Her shtick was already wearing thin in 2008.

OK, Evil Rad-Fem Smarty/Bossypants Stalking Horses deployed. Who else must be dismissed, Charlotte?

There are also the snooty East Coast Republican intellectual types, such as Peggy Noonan, who look down their noses at a woman who doesn’t shop at Neiman Marcus and didn’t attend an Ivy League university. But Peggy made a fool of herself calling the election for Romney on Nov. 5. Who’s going to care what she and her ilk have to say next time?

If conservatives are going to start ignoring everyone who made fools of themselves calling the election for Romney, then Fox News is in big trouble! But never mind, she’s on a roll:

Some Republicans will say Palin has too much baggage from 2008, and we need to look for a new Sarah Palin. But I don’t see what’s wrong with the one we’ve got. Ever since the 1990s, Republicans have been looking for the next Ronald Reagan. Reagan is now revered in bipartisan circles, but during his presidency he was, like Palin, ridiculed by liberals. They cited “Bedtime for Bonzo” and sneered at his no-name college degree.

Sarah Palin is the new Ronald Reagan: charming and affable and unwilling to back down if she’s right. I can’t see what’s wrong with that.

Golly! Sarah Palin is the new Ronald Reagan? That certainly is the sort of bold insight that has never been heard before, except for all those times that Sarah Palin literally called herself the new Ronald Reagan every five minutes. But that is one of those snobby details that only college-edumacated elitists would point out.

The really scary thing about Charlotte Allen’s column is not that she thinks Sarah Palin is ready for a huge comeback, it’s that she has so nakedly identified the reason for it. We are tempted to call Allen some sort of newfangled Diana Moon Glampers here, but we’re already worried enough that we’ll be sent to a re-education camp after these folks take over. No sense further condemning ourselves through gratuitous Vonnegut allusions.

[LAT]

 

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{ 188 comments }

skoalrebel November 19, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Sarah is the new Ronnie? [spit!] Does that mean that Ronnie is still alive but has turned into a woman with Alzheimer's?

Troglodeity November 19, 2012 at 1:46 pm

It's actually quite accurate. Like today's Reagan, she is a worm-riddled corpse – politically speaking – lacking any ability for sentient thought.

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Perhaps Palin sucked the dumb off Reagan's corpse like the chrome off a bumper, I tell you whut.

RedneckMuslin November 19, 2012 at 1:48 pm

and fake tits.

snowpointsecret November 19, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Katie Couric? A has-been.

To be fair, Charlotte Allen is an expert on the subject.

HistoriCat November 19, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Are you sure? To me, Charlotte Allen seems more like a never-was.

Gayer_Than_Thou November 19, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Sarah Palin, on the other hand, is, was and always will be the brightest star ever to burn in the heavens.

Wait, I'm getting myself confused: are we talking about actual reality, or something else?

shelwood46 November 19, 2012 at 4:51 pm

"The brightest star in the [political] firmament…"

dancesw_cougars November 20, 2012 at 10:43 am

No it was this line that pissed me off: "Tina Fey? Her shtick was already wearing thin in 2008."

Tina Fey's Sarah Palin shtick NEVER gets old. NEVER, Goddamnit!

Buzz Feedback November 19, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Yes, Palin should run. WIth Jim Bob Duggar as her VP.

Cleopatriot November 19, 2012 at 1:34 pm

PLEASE?

skoalrebel November 19, 2012 at 1:48 pm

If she asked, I'd be happy to join her ticket. [spit!] We'd make a fine pair of common-sense conservatives with a deep appreciation for the Constitution.

RedneckMuslin November 19, 2012 at 1:50 pm

you spelled Constitooshin wrong.

snowpointsecret November 19, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Sarah Palin is the new Ronald Reagan: charming and affable and unwilling to back down if she’s right. I can’t see what’s wrong with that.

Aww, how cute, comparing her to Ronald Reagan. You got one thing wrong though, they were both actually unable to back down when they were wrong. With your logic, Europe would now be a single country and Talkeetna would be part of Russia.

kittensdontlie November 19, 2012 at 2:01 pm

I can’t see what’s wrong with that.

If by 'can't', she means 'can', then I'll agree..

Goonemeritus November 19, 2012 at 1:20 pm

By 2016 Palin will be doing late night commercials for scrap-booking supplies.

soeoho November 19, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Admittedly a lofty goal, but she just might pull that off.
Local access TV in Wasilla, I presume.

NellCote71 November 19, 2012 at 10:09 pm

No matter what the venue, she will quit halfway through.

Troglodeity November 19, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I think you've got the late night commercials right, but I predict knives and swords.

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 5:05 pm

I got a clear picture in my mind of her blowing Republican voters for $50.00 per Hummer full. Or maybe she was giving hummers for $50.0 per Republican campaign bus full. I get confused a lot these days. Same as it always was, I guess.

freakishlywrong November 19, 2012 at 1:20 pm

No.

vulpes82 November 19, 2012 at 1:20 pm

“You think I’m joking? Think again.” Bold statement, assuming anyone is capable of higher cognitive thought after reading such a ludicrous, derision-worthy statement.

Callyson November 19, 2012 at 1:24 pm

“You think I’m joking? Think again” should pretty much be the tagline for any conservative columnist these days.

Maman November 19, 2012 at 1:20 pm

By all means, we need more stupid in the Republican Party.

Blueb4sinrise November 19, 2012 at 1:21 pm

BRONIES FOR PALIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NellCote71 November 19, 2012 at 10:11 pm

I call poniaphelia, exploitation of cute pony GiFs.

Botlrokit November 19, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Romney failed to [understand] that large segments of the electorate neither know nor care much about serious economic and political issues.

No, he was all over that shit. His electorate was Bible-believing Fox News watchers.

Allmighty_Manos November 19, 2012 at 1:21 pm

"You think I'm joking? Think again."

If you have to insert this line into your column, then yes you are joking. It's like starting a sentence "I'm not racist, but..". It lays your cards on table before the game even starts.

Callyson November 19, 2012 at 1:22 pm

snooty East Coast Republican intellectual type…who look down their noses at a woman who doesn’t shop at Neiman Marcus

Remind me, how many thousands of dollars did Sarah Palin spend on clothes in the 2008 campaign?

Lizzietish81 November 19, 2012 at 1:26 pm

150k?

But she gave it all away to charity, whom I'm sure were thrilled to get her kid's used underwear.

GregComlish November 19, 2012 at 2:27 pm

She said she "would" give it away to charity. I don't think I recall ever saying that she did.

Lizzietish81 November 19, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I think I read that she did, which was so useful, I mean the Salvation Army was short on short skirts and leather jackets….not to mentioned used underwear and baby clothes.

freakishlywrong November 19, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Dear wingnutz, there isn't, and will not be a "new Ronald Reagan". The old one is dead.

nounverb911 November 19, 2012 at 1:28 pm

And the old one liked to raise taxes too, also.

Tommy1733 November 19, 2012 at 2:53 pm

And the old one SUCKED ASS as a president.

Gayer_Than_Thou November 19, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Yes, it's probably valuable to remember that the old Ronald Reagan wasn't actually much of a Ronald Reagan in reality. Absence makes the heart grow dumber, as they say.

Tommy1733 November 20, 2012 at 8:53 am

Ah, sentimentality. So many fond memories.

Veritas78 November 19, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Now, now. Remember, Charlotte has decided that he now has bipartisan support. Fall in line, please.

NellCote71 November 19, 2012 at 10:14 pm

I must have the Reagan senile disease. I cannot recall one Democrat who supports him, posthumously. With votes.

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 5:07 pm

He better be dead, they buried the old fart years ago.

ManchuCandidate November 19, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Yeah, Sarah's 2 lejit 2 quit.

Exhausted66 November 19, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Wait… Sarah Palin is still a thing?

Lizzietish81 November 19, 2012 at 1:29 pm

It latched on to her while she was staring at Putin's giant head coming over the horizon, but has been sucked in by her vacuous nature so it hasn't been able to spread to another host.

Pat_Pending November 19, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Honey Boo-Boo/Gretchen Carlson 2016

MacRaith November 19, 2012 at 1:24 pm

The writers for Wonkette and the Daily Show really, really want this to happen. It would make their jobs so much easier.

One_who_wanders November 19, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I was thinking that she was put up to this by a cabal of late night show comedians after Romney turned out not to be funny enough.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Oh, please, *please*, PLEASE, *GOD*, let Palin be the GOP's '16 candidate!!! I promise I'll never ask for anything ever again. (mostly)

snowpointsecret November 19, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Palin/Rubio '16

aka We have a latino AND a woman and we'll still badly lose both demographics!

asterixaverni November 19, 2012 at 1:32 pm

The only ticket I can support is Rubio/RuPaul in 2016.

Palin can be Secretary of State.

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Secretary of Education, she can be the "Before" picture in their ads.

Gayer_Than_Thou November 19, 2012 at 4:49 pm

If she runs, her choice of VP becomes extra important because in the highly-unlikely-alternate-universe-bizarro world in which she could actually win we know that she'll only actually serve about 18 months of her term.

NellCote71 November 19, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Who's a bad kitty? Bad Kitty is a bad kitty, that's who's a bad kitty.

BadKitty904 November 20, 2012 at 12:14 am

*purrs*

Shypixel November 19, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Palin is a hag, GOP voters are neanderthals, people are dumb, the nation is doomed….

Wonkette, are you even trying any more?

kingofmeh November 19, 2012 at 2:47 pm

kind of missed the point, i think. this post seems to be not an attack on sarah palin, but an attack on someone who still thinks that sarah palin is relevant. it's as if someone suggested dan quayle should run in 2016, because he has vice presidential experience. herr doktor is not mocking the subject of the article, but the writer.

jello_mold November 19, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Palin's got a lock on the moran vote.

Mumbletypeg November 19, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Nice try, Charlotte. Next you'll be calling our Snowbilly "one of life's great mysteries" or worse, float your candidate choice's misbegotten quality assessment as the "Palin Mystique." Leave the hag to manage her overinflated ego, undernourished frame and her trainwreck of family cargo please~

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Starbursts. She'll see starbursts.

Spurning Beer November 19, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Because LIPSTICK!

Goonemeritus November 19, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Anyone who could describe Sarah as charming and affable needs a Thorazine smoothie.

Abernathy November 19, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I take more exception to the idea that Palin was ever right about anything.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Anyone who could describe Sarah as charming and affable has never met anyone who is charming and affable.

LetUsBray November 19, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Given that we're talking a about a third- or fourth- or fifth-tier wingnut talking head, I'll take that bet.

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Thorazine enema neat, to go please.

Ducksworthy November 19, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Sarah/Michele 2016. And thus the once proud GOP became totally irrelevant in January 2017.

nounverb911 November 19, 2012 at 1:29 pm

If Todd is "First Dude" what does that make Marcus?

tiredalways November 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm

the bottom of the ticket?

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm

First Lady.

M. Bouffant November 19, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Dunno, but it'd make One-L Bachmann First Beard.

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Now all we need is Pamela Geller to get the Buffy vote Trifecta!

NeonVincent November 19, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Crap, beat me to it.

Crank_Tango November 19, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Unwilling to back down if she's right? When has she been right?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 19, 2012 at 1:33 pm

When she resigned as governor of Alaska?

soeoho November 19, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I hope you are not refering to her rendition of Paul Revereware's ride.

Tommy1733 November 19, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Good point – this is an untested hypothesis, and may prove to be perpetually untestable.

doloras November 19, 2012 at 6:20 pm

She's extreme right.

John Birf Society November 19, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Why wait until 2016? Palin 2013*!

*Pending imminent Nobama Impeachment

CommieDad November 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Sorry to burst your bubble. If (1) Nobama was impeached for being a blah, and (2) Biden was impeached for having a friend who is blah, then (3) Boener… oh never mind. Good idea.

qwerty42 November 19, 2012 at 1:27 pm

It's not just a river in Egypt.

DCBloom November 19, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Yes, excellent idea. Palin 2016. I think we should all go out and change our party affiliation just so we can make it happen in the primaries

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 5:15 pm

And the government can finally get some use out of the Zamboni VP limo that they had made up for Sarah.

Doktor Zoom November 19, 2012 at 1:28 pm

There is a pretty good social science paper to be written on the notion that Tina Fey single-underhandedly destroyed Sarah Palin through lies and slander, as if her parody were invented out of whole cloth, instead of connecting with an audience that already found Palin absurd.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 19, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Well, it was very unfair for Tina Fey to allow herself to be interviewed by Katie Couric and Charlie Gibson and pretend it was real.

vulpes82 November 19, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Or that the original Tina Fey parody wasn't actually just a verbatim recitation of the transcript of that Couric interview with a few funny faces thrown in.

Chet Kincaid_ November 19, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Most unforgivably, Tina Fey is a helluva lot hotter.

tracyhasfun November 19, 2012 at 3:50 pm

A semiotic analysis of the meta-communicative spectrum. I like it.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 19, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Why doesn't Charlotte Allen just write a biography of Sarah Palin and fuck her already?

One_who_wanders November 19, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I think they have to running together first. . . .

SayItWithWookies November 19, 2012 at 1:28 pm

So the GOP's new strategy should be "We tried smart, and look what happened — we're going back to stupid." That's like me saying I tried sobriety once.

NellCote71 November 19, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Remind me. When did they try smart?

JustPixelz November 19, 2012 at 1:29 pm

The important question is: How does this affect Sarah Palin™?

What's the difference between a pit bull and Sarah Palin™? One is feral beast fueled by irrational aggression. The other is a dog.

gullywompr November 19, 2012 at 1:29 pm

FFS.

T, also too.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 19, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I can't believe I am saying this, but in fairness to Reagan, he did serve more than a half-term as governor of a real state before looking at higher office.

Aridzona November 19, 2012 at 1:59 pm

California a real state? Dude!!!

smellypossum November 19, 2012 at 1:29 pm

A 2016 Palin/Nugent 2016 ticket would be some SWEET entertainment!

And so much more fun that Smirky McMittens was this time 'round.

Doktor Zoom November 19, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Don't be silly. Nugent will be dead or in jail by April 2013.

Chet Kincaid_ November 19, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Ted Nugent is going to become a cliched statistical urban black man?!

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Promises, promises…

Come here a minute November 19, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Shorter Charlotte Allen: Sarah Palin would be a great presidential candidate because bomber jacket.

Tommmcatt_Again November 19, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Clearly, our only choice as Wonketeers is to raise as much money as possible to make this nomination a reality. The gods of comedy demand no less.

JustPixelz November 19, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Oh Repubicans…

Don't go changing to try and please me
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I love you just the way you are

Abernathy November 19, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Allen sounds so confident about this plan. It's almost as though Sarah Palin had something augmented since 2008 that would appeal to a certain segment of voters. It must be her charm and affability.

PubOption November 19, 2012 at 1:40 pm

GTFO

Gleem McShineys November 19, 2012 at 8:37 pm

affability

I believe it is spelled with an 'e'
(at least to teabaggers)

Chet Kincaid_ November 19, 2012 at 1:33 pm

They let any kind of fool write for the L.A. Times? I could get more insight out of Googling up directions from LAX to the Staples Center.

vulpes82 November 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm

But SNL's The Californians taught me that all Southern Californians are obsessed with describing their routes around town in minute detail with one another. Are you saying SNL steered me wrong?

Chet Kincaid_ November 19, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I love that sketch!

imissopus November 19, 2012 at 8:14 pm

That's easy, everyone knows that. You take Century Boulevard to the 405 North…

NeonVincent November 19, 2012 at 10:26 pm

In her case, they let any fool write for the Weekly Standard, as long as they toe the party line. As for her writing for the L.A. Times, they'll let any fool write for them as long as it gets enough page views. Yesterday, this exercise in wingnut wankery got so many, it was listed as "trending" on the paper's website. Sure, if fails as journalism, but I'm sure it made the business office happy!

EatsBabyDingos November 19, 2012 at 1:34 pm

"P-E-N-S go on the paper and wordsalad tumblevomit comes out."

Nostrildamus November 19, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Missing a letter.

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 5:18 pm

"I" see what you're doing.

owhatever November 19, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Tine Fey would be a happy camper.

weejee November 19, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Lou Sarah / Steve King 2016

It's a lock. The other sillies should save their monies and stay home. Serious contributors will get the bumper sticker:

HUCKSTER & SHUCKER

Yellerdawg November 19, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Finally, someone on the right starts making sense. The way I read this is; "If you're picking from a field full of stupid, choose the standout."

NellCote71 November 19, 2012 at 10:27 pm

A falling tide sinks all boats?

ChillBill November 19, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I can only hope…that Santorum accepts her VP slot offer.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 1:56 pm

I'm holding out for Jindal. That's some prime crazy, right there…

yrbmegr November 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Offering her slot to Santorum, eh? Sounds pretty Democratic to me.

Estproph November 19, 2012 at 1:37 pm

They really, REALLY just can't accept the fact that everyone thinks they suck, can they?

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Why, you make it sound like it's the GOP's *policies* that are archaic, unrealistic, and vicious…or something…

LetUsBray November 19, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Or that its members are all crazy, dumb, ill-mannered, and nasty…

freakishlywrong November 19, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I don't know. How can it get loonier than the crowd they had up there THIS primary season? I know, I know, it can X 10.

VodkaGoGo November 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Palin is “View”-ready, she’s “Ellen”-ready, she’s Kelly-and-Michael-ready

Hmmm, who watches those shows, women you say? Well, I'm sure they'll be receptive to Palins message, I mean she does have a vagina and it's not like the women's vote was comically lopsided in favor of Obama, twice.

Joshua Norton November 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm

But Peggy made a fool of herself calling the election for Romney on Nov. 5. Who’s going to care what she and her ilk have to say next time?

Goodness me. Charlotte Allen appears to be a charter member of the Algonquin Bitch Table.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Me-OW!

NellCote71 November 19, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Easy for you to say.

LetUsBray November 19, 2012 at 4:01 pm

For a career reich-winger, Allen sure doesn't seem to know how the rightie press works, does she?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 19, 2012 at 1:44 pm

If we can only get Jennifer Rubin to take up this cause, we may have a movement on our hands.

LibertyLover November 19, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Only if a bunch of Metamucil was given out for free.

Estproph November 19, 2012 at 4:19 pm

I hate it when movement gets on my hands…

Troglodeity November 19, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Yeah, any analysis that starts out with "She's hot" is obviously sound political advice.

NellCote71 November 19, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Well, it is the LA Times, after all.

hagajim November 19, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Please Sarah run!

Dr. Matt November 19, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Comparing OSarah bin Palin to St. Ronny Raygun is suppose to be a compliment?

GeneralLerong November 19, 2012 at 2:01 pm

One skank corpse to another?

Joshua Norton November 19, 2012 at 1:46 pm

She may be onto something here. Palin is a perfect beard for the "macho" wingnuts and their political man-crushes.

Mahousu November 19, 2012 at 1:46 pm

… at a woman who doesn’t shop at Neiman Marcus

Well, except for the time she spend $75,062 of the RNC's money there.

Sparky November 19, 2012 at 2:19 pm

And "…gave it back…' . *snort*

docterry6973 November 19, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Wake up Sarah. It's time for your close-up.

And why not? Who better to speak for today's new, improved, more likable GOP?

Oblios_Cap November 19, 2012 at 1:47 pm

The Church of God the Utterly Indifferent would use all of its influence to help the Palin Camp.

If we gave a shit.

LibertyLover November 19, 2012 at 1:47 pm

She keeps using that word "science" – I don't think it means what she thinks it means.

MissTaken November 19, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Hardly anyone could be more blue collar than Palin, out on the fishing boat with her hunky blue-collar husband, Todd.

Don't forget, not only is Todd 'hunky' he's also pro-secessionist!

GeneralLerong November 19, 2012 at 2:01 pm

And likes happy endings to his massages.

Yeah, well, OK, who doesn't.

Joshua Norton November 19, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Katie Couric? A has-been.

Charlotte Allen? A never-was.

Mahousu November 19, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Sarah Palin is the new Ronald Reagan: [...] unwilling to back down if she’s right.

Help me out here – when was that, exactly?

christianmuslin November 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm

The newly elected judge from San Diego would make the ideal running mate? Maybe they would have a chance to carry California, not!

cheetojeebus November 19, 2012 at 1:53 pm

From a now lost novel by George Orwell…

notanncoulter November 19, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I'm waiting for Sarah Palin to weigh in on this.

bobbert November 19, 2012 at 4:08 pm

ISWYDT

LibertyLover November 19, 2012 at 1:58 pm

What a Christmas Gift Ms. Allen's column is! So full of flights of fantasy and whimsy! A real roller-coaster ride of fun ideas – A first rate effort! We favorably look forward to more satire from Ms. Allen! Ms Allen is certainly the next Andy Borowitz – such cleverness in writing is rarely seen on the right side of the political spectrum.

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 1:59 pm

A huge chunk of the electorate is made up of mouth-breathing morons.

They, um, voted for Romney.

Fred Humphries II Jr November 19, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Gawd, I love marketing thinking. 'We need someone serious, yet lightweight, really white with minority appeal, and extremely conservative but not threatening. With a smear of Rastafarian.'

Dudleydidwrong November 19, 2012 at 2:07 pm

That's Charlotte–a real "smear"

CommieDad November 19, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Love the argument.

1) Republican (voters) are stupid.

2) Mitt was to smah.

3) Palin is not smart.

4) Palin has a vagina.

5) … ?

6) Profit!

yrbmegr November 19, 2012 at 2:02 pm

She said "ilk". Therefore, she must know everything.

One_who_wanders November 19, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I say ilk whenever someone talks about Palin.

Defeatably_Joe November 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Palin is “View”-ready, she’s “Ellen”-ready, she’s Kelly-and-Michael-ready

As much as I mourn for democracy when those shows are being held up as equivalent -nay, superior to a candidate who meets with actual journalists to discuss issues (admittedly this may be partly the fault also of Mitt Romney, who had an apparent allergy to the same); I would fucking love to watch Palin go on Ellen. Something tells me it wouldn't quite be the, uhh, softball interview that Ms Allen seems to be anticipating.

For some reason. Can't quite place my finger on why I suspect they might not get along.

shelwood46 November 19, 2012 at 5:07 pm

And I'm assuming in her version of The View, only Elisabeth is allowed to talk? Because if that's not the case, there may be some problems on that show, too.

Sparky November 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm

If Granny Word Salad is on the 2016 ticket, we could put Dennis Kucinich on and still win popular and electoral vote majority.

In other words: Bring. It. On.

BZ1 November 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Oh, pleeze, pleeze, plezee run Lou Sarah!!

yrbmegr November 19, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Sarah Palin is the quintessential existentialist. She quit her job, but she won't quit her un-job.

Dudleydidwrong November 19, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Dumb-ass bitch says what?

(Which dumb-ass bitch? Uh, both of 'em, Katie.)

Sparky November 19, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Charlotte Allen: Gloria Steinham :: Allen West: Martin Luther King, Jr.

Smithboy November 19, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Sarah Palin/Pam Geller…

Women for War! Hate those brown skinned Muslims? So do they! Vote for Palin-Geller and they'll tun the middle east into the vast wasteland east. A middle east where Israel can build what they want, where they want, because God said so.

This message paid for by…well the Supreme Court says we don't have to tell you. God bless America.

An_Outhouse November 19, 2012 at 2:27 pm

The real crime is that this bitch gets paid by the LAT to puke up this pile of intellectually vacant vomit, and Doktor Zoom doesn't.

SorosBot November 19, 2012 at 2:28 pm

"Reagan is now revered in bipartisan circles"

No he isn't. We liberals still hate that horrible fuckhead who ruined this country.

Jus_Wonderin November 19, 2012 at 2:30 pm

What person in their right mind thinks Sarah Palin is fit to even run for President, much less win and even much more less…lead.

PopeEdgardo November 19, 2012 at 2:33 pm

"intellectual types, such as Peggy Noonan"
Can't stop giggling.

TribecaMike November 19, 2012 at 2:44 pm

So that's what cunnilingus feels like on the receiving end. Can't say I'm impressed.

Doktor Zoom November 19, 2012 at 3:03 pm

So that's what cunnilingus analingus feels like on the receiving end.

Fixed that for you.

TribecaMike November 19, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Thanks, Dok.

Tommy1733 November 19, 2012 at 2:56 pm

This woman is giving women generally a bad name. I encourage all vagina owners to consider expelling her from your little club.

lazlo_toth November 19, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Lou Sarah / Victoria Jackson 2016

pinstripebindi November 19, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Funny, I don't remember Reagan quitting halfway through his first term as governor to start cashing in wingnut welfare checks. Also his voice didn't make me want to throw myself under the nearest speeding train.

ttommyunger November 19, 2012 at 4:11 pm

"You think I'm joking?" No, I think you are an idiot

mustangsavvy November 19, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Palin 2016. This is perfect – with her as an opponent, Bamz would be able to run for a THIRD TERM, against the Constitution and STILL win. In a Three-peat Electoral College landslide.

Charlotte Allen needs to be committed for thinking a Palin run is 1) possible and 2) a good idea. Sarah Palin is the most toxic politician this side of Rasputin. A Palin candidacy would probably turn Texas BLUE….! LOL

So in other words – BRING IT.

thejazzmonger November 19, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Absolutely! This should happen. Sarah Palin will be a "hot" commodity on the campaign trail. Plus, she is more masculine than Bobby Jindal.

emmelemm November 19, 2012 at 5:19 pm

I believe you mean your intellectually rich vomit.

Barrelhse November 19, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Jesus Christ, they'll give ANYBODY a typewriter.

M. Bouffant November 19, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Typewriter? Dictated to a Concerned Wimmenz intern who had avoid giggling out loud while polishing it .

Jennyjen798 November 19, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Rarity and Harrison Bergeron in one post!? I feel faint! Stay calm and call The Doctor indeed.

NeonVincent November 19, 2012 at 10:27 pm

I tried reading this in the L.A. Times yesterday. I couldn't. It would have made me stupider.

Trinket November 20, 2012 at 12:39 am

If this is the direction in which the Republican party is headed, I couldn't be happier.

decentcitizen November 20, 2012 at 12:51 am

Outsized political ambition does not constitute an electoral strategy – but hey, why stop there. Have Newt run again as well…

lulzmonger November 20, 2012 at 11:43 am

Look out libtards! Here comes PUMA PALIN PATRIOT POWER!!!

Needs more laying on the couch all day eating Taco Bell.

Hate to ruin Charlotte's panty-punching party, but I'm pretty sure Tundra Grifter knows damn well her "Sexy Librarian" appeal is long gone, even if she's still in denial as to just how deeply most Americans hate the sight of her. Also too as well, being a national celebrity who's been pulling buku money doing SarahPAC, TeeVee & public-speaking spots & pimping her kids merch, Governor HalfTerm doesn't strike me as yearrning for a pay cut that comes with an extremely high-stress job where you're on call 24/7.

lulzmonger November 20, 2012 at 11:48 am

WHOA. When the fuck did I get to 100p?!

The hair sprouting in funny places & the cracking voice suddenly make sense now.

ShinigamiDad November 21, 2012 at 11:02 am

Vote Surreal Party in 2016! The Chair/Hologram ticket will sweep all before it! (Nice use of Rarity, btw :)

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