It has been at least a week since someone involved in an anti-gay Christian group was found with a hooker’s penis in his bottom or (allegedly) diddling a child, and a week is five years in Blowvember-time. Luckily, Lisa Biron, a New Hampshire lawyer associated with the “Alliance Defending Freedom,” has gotten herself into a doozy of drugs and weapons and taking teenage girls across international borders, the better to star them in child pron! But wait! Is that even illegal?
Lisa Biron was arrested for taking a teenage girl to Canada, inducing her to do sex to someone, and then persuading her to let it be filmed. (ALLEGEDLY.) She also had a fuckton of ecstasy and pot and coke and weapons, or something, and tried to get people to lie to police about the case, and threatened to flee to Cuba, and is an all-around Wonkette SUPERSTAR. But is she just any old drug-sniffing, weapon-brandishing, child-porn maker? Of course not, don’t be ridiculose!
Biron is associated with the Alliance Defending Freedom, a group of lawyers who, according to their website, are committed to keeping “the door open for the spread of the Gospel” by advocating for “religious liberty, the sanctity of life, and marriage and family.” In Concord, she worked with the ADF in defending a Pentecostal Church on Mountain Road in its tax fight against the city.
She recently served on the board of directors at Mount Zion Christian Schools in Manchester, according to the school’s headmaster.
On Biron’s Facebook page, which was taken down in recent weeks, she had listed the Bible as her favorite book.
Lisa Biron, thank you for your service.
[ConcordMonitor, via Towleroad]
{ 119 comments }
But wait, it gets better…
Oh no, sorry, hard to top that one.
You said hard, tee hee…
The film could be directed by Roman Polanski.
Nice… that's a total KO.
Haha.. old joke: What goes into 13 twice?
She who protests the loudest….
If you gotta be a hypocrite, you should go big.
and longer and harder!
Looks like she took your advice.
Yep, and she did it all while awaiting trial on previous child porn charges. As for her whole Christian thing, clearly she is just a lying liberal infiltrator. Evil is everywhere.
Who says women aren't breaking through the glass ceiling?
Three words – Fundie Family Values.
Was Lisa Biron also in Deep Throat II?
Good lard, exactly as I pictured her. Eye bleach, please!
The Canadians don't mind teenage porn. But guns and cigarettes crossing the border makes them peevish.
And Kinder Eggs.
Whatever is done in the privacy of our own country is legal, but crossing borders, no.
Well, the Mann act only applies to menn.
And state boundaries… and I think that is small s "state"
“She had listed the Bible as her favorite book. “
Yes hers has all the naughty bits are underlined.
All that "begattin" goin' on..
Lisa Biron was arrested for taking a teenage girl to Canada, inducing her to do sex to someone, and then persuading her to let it be filmed.
OMG! STEVEN KING WAS RIGHT!
The writer, or the congressman?
Leave the nice lady alone — she was just testing whether she could register to vote illegally in Canada.
Is this more of that 'hide in plain sight' strategy that seems to work so well for the family values folks?
George Orwell has nothing on the "Newspeak" of the modern right wing hypocrite.
And y'all thought "Twin Peaks" was fiction…
You're saying she's the Log Lady?
If smuggling teenagers up to canada city with a shitload of E, weed, blow, booze, and guns, and maybe some firecrackers, just to make porn is wrong, I don't wanna be right!
Also, poutine.
is that a euphemism for something?
"committed to keeping “the door open for the spread of the Gospel"
The spread of teenage Gospel is hawt!
Hey Wingnut preverts. When Jeebus said "Let the little children come to me." He didn't mean "come into, come onto" them or have them do onto you as you have done onto others (aka "The Golden, um, Rule.")
she had listed the Bible as her favorite book.
Her second favorite book? Color my Boobs!
apparently she meant the LDS Bible, whatever the fuck they call it…
At what point do we stop being surprised by the hypocrisy?
Corollary: At what point do the fundamentalists start being surprised by it?
Perhaps Biron haz a confused over the second C word in suffer the little children to come unto me?
I have to say, Little Children could've been a much more interesting movie had they cast PedoBear, especially during that pool scene!
Outside, Biron ducked her head below the backseat window of a white vehicle as it was driven away from the courthouse.
OJ LIBEL!!11!!
She's the Chuck Yeager of the "do as I say, not as I do" behavior envelope.
You know who else goes to Canada for illegal sexy time?
Rafalca?
Sarah Palin? Ted Nugent? Trump?
Gross.
Worst threesome ever.
No kidding…and trump can't play bass for shit.
Everyone?
Anyone who's ever dated Brisket?
Well, they've crossed into Canada for the free clinics, that's for sure
Smokey the Bear?
I have a girlfriend in Canada. I met her over the summer, honest. You wouldn't know her. Her name is, um, Anada? Shut up, she's real!
Eliot Spitzer? I heard that what happens in Moose Jaw, stays in Moose Jaw.
keeping “the door open for the spread of the Gospel”
So that's what the kids are calling it these days?
Jesus does say "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven." [spit] So, kiddie porn is totally Biblical, y'all. In fact, the Greek text is better translated as "forbid them not, to come all over me." [spit!]
Didnt Jesus drive hookers to Canada back in the day? Mormons.. hello? Isnt that part of it?
LEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[oops, wrong Lisa]
We can blame her behavior on Progressive Secularism or Secular Progressives (I'll have to consult O'Reilly on the proper term). Clearly it's causing all the problems in this country….including hurricanes, flat tires, sad kittens, and gritty toilet paper.
I blame Justin Bieber.
So does the New York Times: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/17/h…
Can't a god fearin' Christian girl have a hobby?
So, how many abortions has she had?
Bring a lawyer, coke and underage honey
The shit has hit the fan!
All that's left for her is to run on a GOP ticket for Congress.
You owe Warren Zevon an apology.
Turn those speakers up full-blast and play it all night long
Is it true that in socialist Canada, the government pays for your kiddie porn?
That would explain all the Wingnuts threatening to move up there lately.
Yes, but you need to fill out a 15-page form to get it.
Plus they give them free health care and birth control.
Let's just say, you don't want to see the Canadian version of Sesame Street.
Oh baby, I feel closer to Jesus already!
I don't condone any of this except for the drugs.
Give her a break. It was God's will.
Maybe Bobby Jindal, the GOP's "Barney Fife," should exorcise her.
When this persecution of fine, upstanding, god-fearing christians end?
And the War on Christmas hasn't even begun yet.
Think you're mocking? Comment #1 at the Concord Monitor:
This could have been avoided if she was legally dropped off at the swingset afterwards.
And no pix of this adventurous, border crossing, Christian lady lawyer?
How are we male Wonketteers supposed to make our usual boneheaded "Still, I'd hit that" type of comments?
Remember, you asked for it: http://ct.fra.bz/ol/fz/sw/i55/2/11/18/frabz-Lisa-…
Omg, she's even butcher than I am!
Not HER. What's the kid look like.
There's a linky up top, but really, you don't want to hit that……
As the parent of a teenage girl, I would definitely hit that. With a two-by-four. No votes involved.
Well as long as it isn't GAY under age sex.
Clearly this is the result of gay marriage. No doubt.
Petraeus and now lawyers!
This nation is doomed.
Benghazi!
Well, as long as she wasn't transporting these underage girls across borders to get an abortion, the Right shouldn't have a problem with this.
That depends. Was she using birth control? And did the boss have to pay for the birth control?
Wow, they're REALLY desperate to prove themselves right, they'll even commit the crimes they say liberals do to prove liberals do these things!
Wait, what?
They're setting up for the "both sides do it" argument, as soon as James O'Keefe can get a crew together and hire body doubles.
I've seen a pic of her – the only way you'd want to hit it is with a car
It ACTUALLY does GET BETTER!
She got her law degree from – drumbeat – where else? Regent University! Pat Robertson U! I think she may be out of the running for Alumna of the Year
But maybe not.
Given that internet service is slow and television reception spotty in the northeast provinces, you have to find something to do with your time.
Religious fundamentalists….. I've shit 'em!
Praise The Lord and pass the needle!
For freedom! Or sex, drugs and rock and roll.
Biron sent a text to a friend saying she might flee to Cuba because she had “nothing left.”.
Oh sure, it's all "defending freedoms" until the shit hits the fan, and then it's "Viva el socialismo!"
"Alliance Defending Freedom" is a grammar disaster, also too. Not even "Alliance for the Defense of Freedom"? Come on.
Rush keeps threatening to run to Costa Rica if Obamacare isn't repealed.
Which really just proves that he knows his listeners are complete idiots.
Flee to Cuba? That's a great idea. Save the taxpayers here some money and send her someplace where child porn and drugs are definitely illegal.
A child-sniffing, drug-addled Christian with guns. Aren't they all?
Wouldn't the world be more entertaining if they were? I mean, terrifying, obviously. But entertaining.
Holy shit, Wonkette! I'd think you guys made her up, but sadly, this is where the closeted Right has been trending towards for years now.
Wasn't this the plot from a SouthPark episode?
I think you mean its redundant.
Favorite Book: The Bible
Favorite Movie: The Devil in Miss Jones
oooooooooooops! thanks!
I read a story earlier today about a young man in Oklahoma who had some beer and caused an accident which killed a friend. He was charged with manslaughter and part of his probation includes attending church every week. This article shows more evidence of why that is a stupid idea. Even though the majority of religious people are sincere in their beliefs and try to follow them, church going does not prevent bad people from doing stupid, immoral, and often illegal things. Worst example: Dennis Rader (aka the BTK killer) was a deacon of his church.
I am sure that somewhere in Fundiestan they are trying to convince each other this is all Obama's fault, the re election made her do it.
What makes her believe that she would be accepted in Cuba?
She would offer to share the film with government officials.
Well of course they would list the Bible as a favorite, full of all that he "knew" and she "knew" each other stuff …
I "know", right?
A disappointingly small number of folks defending her in the comments below the Concord Monitor article, though this one from "SCO" helps make up for the dearth:
"I find it hard to believe that the left in this country have any integrity or genuineness when it comes to the problem of sexual abuse. They dont want to solve the problem, which is a human problem, they want to gather up a mob, in true democrat fashion, and burn churches down. Their true colors always show."
I wish, SCO!
I am hoping to find a single publication(besides wonkette) where the online commenters do not include a significant number of really stupid right wingers. I have not found one yet- WSJ, NYT included
Oh, you beat me to it, you bastid!!
Sweet Blood of Jesus!
That picture is now my favorite picture ever. I may print it out and hang it over my desk.
Wow…it seems like only yesterday I was making a joke about a porn lawyer. Oh, wait…
The accompanying photo is capital A amazing.
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