Anti-Gay Christian Lawyer Lady Spread Gospel, Teen Girl’s Legs With (Alleged) Cross-Border Child Porn

  blowvember

Mojo Pedo? OH NO!It has been at least a week since someone involved in an anti-gay Christian group was found with a hooker’s penis in his bottom or (allegedly) diddling a child, and a week is five years in Blowvember-time. Luckily, Lisa Biron, a New Hampshire lawyer associated with the “Alliance Defending Freedom,” has gotten herself into a doozy of drugs and weapons and taking teenage girls across international borders, the better to star them in child pron! But wait! Is that even illegal?

Lisa Biron was arrested for taking a teenage girl to Canada, inducing her to do sex to someone, and then persuading her to let it be filmed. (ALLEGEDLY.) She also had a fuckton of ecstasy and pot and coke and weapons, or something, and tried to get people to lie to police about the case, and threatened to flee to Cuba, and is an all-around Wonkette SUPERSTAR. But is she just any old drug-sniffing, weapon-brandishing, child-porn maker? Of course not, don’t be ridiculose!

Biron is associated with the Alliance Defending Freedom, a group of lawyers who, according to their website, are committed to keeping “the door open for the spread of the Gospel” by advocating for “religious liberty, the sanctity of life, and marriage and family.” In Concord, she worked with the ADF in defending a Pentecostal Church on Mountain Road in its tax fight against the city.

She recently served on the board of directors at Mount Zion Christian Schools in Manchester, according to the school’s headmaster.

On Biron’s Facebook page, which was taken down in recent weeks, she had listed the Bible as her favorite book.

 
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Lisa Biron, thank you for your service.

[ConcordMonitor, via Towleroad]

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119 comments

  1. gullywompr

    Yep, and she did it all while awaiting trial on previous child porn charges. As for her whole Christian thing, clearly she is just a lying liberal infiltrator. Evil is everywhere.

  2. Goonemeritus

    “She had listed the Bible as her favorite book. “

    Yes hers has all the naughty bits are underlined.

  3. Pat_Pending

    Is this more of that 'hide in plain sight' strategy that seems to work so well for the family values folks?

  4. Crank_Tango

    If smuggling teenagers up to canada city with a shitload of E, weed, blow, booze, and guns, and maybe some firecrackers, just to make porn is wrong, I don't wanna be right!

    Also, poutine.

  5. RedneckMuslin

    "committed to keeping “the door open for the spread of the Gospel"

    The spread of teenage Gospel is hawt!

  6. ManchuCandidate

    Hey Wingnut preverts. When Jeebus said "Let the little children come to me." He didn't mean "come into, come onto" them or have them do onto you as you have done onto others (aka "The Golden, um, Rule.")

  7. SuspectedDemocrat

    Outside, Biron ducked her head below the backseat window of a white vehicle as it was driven away from the courthouse.

    OJ LIBEL!!11!!

    1. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      I have a girlfriend in Canada. I met her over the summer, honest. You wouldn't know her. Her name is, um, Anada? Shut up, she's real!

  8. Oblios_Cap

    keeping “the door open for the spread of the Gospel”

    So that's what the kids are calling it these days?

  9. skoalrebel

    Jesus does say "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven." [spit] So, kiddie porn is totally Biblical, y'all. In fact, the Greek text is better translated as "forbid them not, to come all over me." [spit!]

  10. Dr. Matt

    We can blame her behavior on Progressive Secularism or Secular Progressives (I'll have to consult O'Reilly on the proper term). Clearly it's causing all the problems in this country….including hurricanes, flat tires, sad kittens, and gritty toilet paper.

    1. M. Bouffant

      Think you're mocking? Comment #1 at the Concord Monitor:

      I find it hard to believe that the left in this country have any integrity or genuineness when it comes to the problem of sexual abuse. They dont want to solve the problem, which is a human problem, they want to gather up a mob, in true democrat fashion, and burn churches down. Their true colors always show.

  11. Lascauxcaveman

    And no pix of this adventurous, border crossing, Christian lady lawyer?

    How are we male Wonketteers supposed to make our usual boneheaded "Still, I'd hit that" type of comments?

  12. sati_demise

    Clearly this is the result of gay marriage. No doubt.
    Petraeus and now lawyers!
    This nation is doomed.

  13. NorthStarSpanx

    Well, as long as she wasn't transporting these underage girls across borders to get an abortion, the Right shouldn't have a problem with this.

  14. snowpointsecret

    Wow, they're REALLY desperate to prove themselves right, they'll even commit the crimes they say liberals do to prove liberals do these things!

    Wait, what?

    1. ChapterUndVerse

      They're setting up for the "both sides do it" argument, as soon as James O'Keefe can get a crew together and hire body doubles.

  15. Pragmatist2

    It ACTUALLY does GET BETTER!
    She got her law degree from – drumbeat – where else? Regent University! Pat Robertson U! I think she may be out of the running for Alumna of the Year
    But maybe not.

  16. Aridzona

    Given that internet service is slow and television reception spotty in the northeast provinces, you have to find something to do with your time.

  17. MadBrahms

    Biron sent a text to a friend saying she might flee to Cuba because she had “nothing left.”.

    Oh sure, it's all "defending freedoms" until the shit hits the fan, and then it's "Viva el socialismo!"

    "Alliance Defending Freedom" is a grammar disaster, also too. Not even "Alliance for the Defense of Freedom"? Come on.

    1. Lizzietish81

      Rush keeps threatening to run to Costa Rica if Obamacare isn't repealed.

      Which really just proves that he knows his listeners are complete idiots.

    1. MadBrahms

      Wouldn't the world be more entertaining if they were? I mean, terrifying, obviously. But entertaining.

  18. Respitetini

    Holy shit, Wonkette! I'd think you guys made her up, but sadly, this is where the closeted Right has been trending towards for years now.

  19. VA_Dreaming

    I read a story earlier today about a young man in Oklahoma who had some beer and caused an accident which killed a friend. He was charged with manslaughter and part of his probation includes attending church every week. This article shows more evidence of why that is a stupid idea. Even though the majority of religious people are sincere in their beliefs and try to follow them, church going does not prevent bad people from doing stupid, immoral, and often illegal things. Worst example: Dennis Rader (aka the BTK killer) was a deacon of his church.

  20. rickmaci

    I am sure that somewhere in Fundiestan they are trying to convince each other this is all Obama's fault, the re election made her do it.

  21. TribecaMike

    A disappointingly small number of folks defending her in the comments below the Concord Monitor article, though this one from "SCO" helps make up for the dearth:

    "I find it hard to believe that the left in this country have any integrity or genuineness when it comes to the problem of sexual abuse. They dont want to solve the problem, which is a human problem, they want to gather up a mob, in true democrat fashion, and burn churches down. Their true colors always show."

    I wish, SCO!

    1. finallyhappy

      I am hoping to find a single publication(besides wonkette) where the online commenters do not include a significant number of really stupid right wingers. I have not found one yet- WSJ, NYT included

Comments are closed.