DOWN IN HIS B-BOY STANCE  11:20 am November 19, 2012

Hurricane Hypeman Joe Biden Warms Up The East Coast For Your Homeboy Barack Obama

by Jesse Taylor

He sees you baby, shaking that ass, shaking that assJoe Biden can literally say any fucking thing in the goddamn world, and it does not matter. Said Joey the Biden to Sandy victims to make them feel better and convince them they have a black friend:

“So as the president said when he was up here with the governor, we’re not going anywhere. We’re not going anywhere. And you’ve got a homeboy in the deal who gets it.”

On the plus side, Joe Biden’s weirdly benign racial cluelessness is turning in a more positive direction, warming up the crowd for when Obama and Jay-Z come out to do a modified duet of “Bonnie and Clyde.”

Unconfirmed pool reports also state that Biden stood astride a wrecked home and bellowed, “YOLO!” to the heavens while hurling unopened bottles of Ciroc into the ocean.

[Washington Post]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 132 comments }

Come here a minute November 19, 2012 at 11:23 am

At least Joe Biden did not ask who, who let the dogs out.

Preferred Customer November 19, 2012 at 11:45 am

That is because he is aware of what time it is.

ManchuCandidate November 19, 2012 at 11:23 am

So when does Obama start his Twitter Page "Old White Man Sez:"?

Barbara_ November 19, 2012 at 11:24 am

Good thing Paul Ryan isn't the VEEP. That would be a four-year tropical depression I couldn't survive.

JustPixelz November 19, 2012 at 11:28 am

Especially if he talked about homeboy Romney. 'Course Romney has so many houses, Ryan would probably just call him "homes" for short.

Lascauxcaveman November 19, 2012 at 11:41 am

Lol, didn't you make that same joke about JamaCain back in 2008?

sullivanst November 19, 2012 at 11:45 am

All good liberals reduce, reuse, recycle.

Terry November 19, 2012 at 11:32 am

If Romney-Ryan had been elected, there would have been a massive mid-Atlantic depression centered directly over my apartment.

Barbara_ November 19, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Terry, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! I'm walking out the door for vacation and you are one of the many things I am Thankful for. Love~

Terry November 19, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Barbara,

I feel the same way. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Maman November 19, 2012 at 11:55 am

no kidding. I assigned my husband to read "Atlas Shrugged" weeks and weeks ago so someone in my house could discuss it and he still hasn't finished that thing yet. It sucks that much. And that is Ryan's mantra.

Chet Kincaid_ November 19, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Jeez, you're just handing the poor guy "mental cruelty" grounds!

HistoriCat November 19, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Ouch! Couldn't you just whack him over the head with a frying pan? It would be less painful.

Callyson November 19, 2012 at 1:55 pm

It would have been the equivalent to The Big One that my east coast relatives keep telling me will hit Los Angeles any day now.

Happy Thanksgiving!

memzilla November 19, 2012 at 11:24 am

White guy cluelessness can sometimes spin around for the greater good.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 11:46 am

It's expected of Handsome Ol' Joe. Plus *he's* cute when he does it, 'cause everyone knows he – unlike those cynical, pandering GOP feebs – sincerely means well.

Terry November 19, 2012 at 11:24 am

" Joe Biden’s weirdly benign racial cluelessness"

This is what happens when well meaning old guys try to use the modern lingo.

JustPixelz November 19, 2012 at 11:27 am

I'm hip to that, daddy-o.

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 11:33 am

That's just the bees knees, as the kids say.

corthylio November 19, 2012 at 11:34 am

Yo, homie, I am so down to that.

Beowoof November 19, 2012 at 11:37 am

That's rad dude.

SoBeach November 19, 2012 at 11:41 am

I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' out

Esteev November 19, 2012 at 11:44 am

Say 'word'.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 11:54 am

No onions on HIS belt, by cracky!

Pat_Pending November 19, 2012 at 12:10 pm

23-skiddoo!

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 19, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I think Biden is a real hep cat, yo.

MosesInvests November 19, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Far out.

UW8316154 November 19, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Swell!

wondering where i am November 19, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Bitchen!

bobbert November 19, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I feel ya.

Gratuitous World November 19, 2012 at 11:24 am

this is a big fuckin dizzzeal.

iburl November 19, 2012 at 11:26 am

fo shizzle

nounverb911 November 19, 2012 at 11:25 am

Where was Jersey's giant walking Twinkie while Biden was in town?

Beowoof November 19, 2012 at 11:37 am

On SNL warming up his 2016 Presidential run.

iburl November 19, 2012 at 11:25 am

Joey-B is cold lampin'

sullivanst November 19, 2012 at 11:38 am

with Flavor?

Lizzietish81 November 19, 2012 at 11:28 am

Ok homeboys, let's posse!

UW8316154 November 19, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Posse up!

Chet Kincaid_ November 19, 2012 at 11:29 am

By "homeboy" I assume he means himself, being from the East Coast, not the President.

EDIT: Per the WaPo article, that's exactly what he was saying. So where's the "cluelessness"? Everyone routinely uses black colloquialisms from like 70 years ago, all the time. Not to mention Wonketters, who think a handful of scenes from "Blazing Saddles," "Animal House" and "Airplane" are the funniest things any black people said in all of recorded history.

SoBeach November 19, 2012 at 11:43 am

true dat

SexySmurf November 19, 2012 at 11:45 am

Your comment was off the chain, fo' shizzle my nizzle.

Lascauxcaveman November 19, 2012 at 11:45 am

I'm partial to the old Bill Cosby stuff myself, but that's because I'm "square."

(Wow, that one really is about 70 years old, isn't it? I think I'll go smoke some tea, now.)

Come here a minute November 19, 2012 at 11:46 am

Shut up you big dummy! We also like "Sanford and Son".

Terry November 19, 2012 at 11:47 am

You're right. I need to stop referring to my Chevy Cobalt as my pimpmobile.

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 11:48 am

Hey, I thought Blackula was much funnier.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 11:48 am

Word.

HateMachine November 19, 2012 at 11:53 am

Apparently all recorded slang in history is "our word(s)" now.

When I think "racial cluelessness" I'm usually thinking of the international exchange student who is wondering why white people's eyes are a bunch of weird colors and blah people's palms are paler. (Or the ridiculous questions I'm sure I ask while abroad)

ChillBill November 19, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Thanks, Chet. You just killed my "Black" jokes for the next 10 years.

Pat_Pending November 19, 2012 at 12:11 pm

where the white women at????

littlebigdaddy November 19, 2012 at 1:06 pm

23 skidoo!

BerkeleyBear November 19, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Not to mention Wonketters, who think a handful of scenes from "Blazing Saddles," "Animal House" and "Airplane" are the funniest things any black people said (as written by a bunch of white guys) in all of recorded history.

FIFY.

Personally, I'm more fond of biracial and cross cultural commentators like Chapelle and Key & Peele – although they do make me feel awfully guilty for laughing at times.

Defeatably_Joe November 19, 2012 at 11:29 am

Speaking of Joe Biden being a "G", as they* say, who here saw that Parks and Recreation episode a week or two ago?

*I don't mean "they" in a racist way; GEEZ, GUYS.

JustPixelz November 19, 2012 at 11:29 am

Biden should stick to what he does best … Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? Anybody?

Chet Kincaid_ November 19, 2012 at 11:53 am

Carving Paul Ryan up like a motherfucking Christmas ham?

bobbert November 19, 2012 at 3:22 pm

This.

Guppy November 19, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Women.

JerkCade November 19, 2012 at 11:30 am

Maybe 'homeboy' was a self-description.

Serolf_Divad November 19, 2012 at 11:42 am

You think Biden knows the difference between a "homeboy" and a "homebody"?

JerkCade November 19, 2012 at 11:54 am

Yes, I think Biden works hard to stay hip to all the new-jack slang.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 11:57 am

That's what makes it so hysterically funny when he tries to use it. It's like my granddad trying to dubstep.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 19, 2012 at 11:30 am

If Joe starts wearing low hanging pants I'm leaving for Canada… again.

HuddledMass November 19, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Hey M. Grumpe! Long time no see, and welcome back.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 19, 2012 at 7:34 pm

I've been busy. For some unknown reason my employers expect me to produce results. I blame Bush.

el_donaldo November 19, 2012 at 11:31 am

If Biden is going to keep tripping over his words, it's a good thing Obama is so articulate.

GoodDogThor November 19, 2012 at 1:14 pm

…and 'clean looking'.

el_donaldo November 19, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Thanks. I was beginning to think I was the only one whose memory extends back more than two weeks.

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 11:32 am

And yet it wasn't OHJB on always-relevant SNL this past Sat night, was it?

SayItWithWookies November 19, 2012 at 11:33 am

It doesn't take much to be the hippest Delawarian ever, does it?

Lascauxcaveman November 19, 2012 at 11:48 am

He's practically a hipster god, back in Scranton.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 11:50 am

Good point. He and Dr. Jill will be dancing the Mashed Potato and the Frug next…

BornInATrailer November 19, 2012 at 11:33 am

A less racially charged America is a good thing.

However, Joe Biden represents the prototype for the coming generations of colorblind older white men. So this is really just a taste of things to come. Sorry black/brown folks?

deanbooth November 19, 2012 at 11:33 am

I know who Bonnie and Clyde are, sorta know generically who Jay-Z is (a rapper, maybe?), but why would somebody yell YOLO and what is a bottle of Ciroc? Are these mommy blog terms?

(I read the today's birthdays list in the "newspaper" every day and realize that very soon I will know none of the people listed.)

sullivanst November 19, 2012 at 11:41 am

Which version of Bonnie and Clyde, though, '34 or '97?

ETA: somehow I missed ever hearing about '03.

PubOption November 19, 2012 at 11:43 am

Ciroc is some kind of designer booze, which probably means that the bottle costs more than the contents. No idea about YOLO. Agree with you on the birthdays.

Maman November 19, 2012 at 11:47 am

YOLO = You Only Live Once… The kiddo's love it and it is now to Prom what "Stairway to Heaven" was 30 years ago. You're welcome.

deanbooth November 19, 2012 at 11:48 am

I guess knowing the birthday people traces a bell curve — you know you're middle age when you know all of them.

MissTaken November 19, 2012 at 11:46 am

YOLO = you only live once

Also, Beyonce and Jay-Z collaborated on a Bonnie and Clyde song once upon a time.

Esteev November 19, 2012 at 11:52 am

"YOLO is carpe diem for stupid people," said someone on The Twitter.

Guppy November 19, 2012 at 12:07 pm

And calling someone "stupid" via Twitter is what now?

Esteev November 19, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Ironic?

BornInATrailer November 19, 2012 at 11:54 am
BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 12:01 pm
Chow Yun Flat November 19, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Switch from reading today's birthday list to the obituaries (the Irish funnies)

fuflans November 19, 2012 at 11:34 am

with all due respect, this is a lot of malarkey.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 19, 2012 at 3:16 pm

It's also all a bunch of stuff!

sullivanst November 19, 2012 at 11:35 am

Biden in the house, yo!

Maman November 19, 2012 at 11:56 am

He is precious cargo!

kittensdontlie November 19, 2012 at 11:35 am

Beka Book's American Presidential History:

Only black President: Bill Clinton.
Only black Vice-President: Joe Biden.

Geminisunmars November 19, 2012 at 11:35 am

He is able to speak in complete sentences, so I'm okay with it.

HRH_Maddie November 19, 2012 at 11:36 am

I call BS on Biden yelling "YOLO!" The guy is still using "homeboy" which means he's on a 12 year slang delay, which means in the next 4 years we can look forward to him adding "-izzle" to everything.

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 11:40 am

In fairness to Joe, YOLO sounds like something you'd order in a biker bar

HRH_Maddie November 19, 2012 at 11:42 am

"2 slippery YOLOs, please"

HateMachine November 19, 2012 at 11:55 am

I, for one, can't wait for him to adopt "swag"

GoodDogThor November 19, 2012 at 1:17 pm

would also have accepted 'homes' and 'homeslice'.

Lascauxcaveman November 19, 2012 at 11:39 am

Even if Joe was actually referring to himself, Obama is secretly thrilled. He's always wanted to to be Joe Biden's homie.

HistoriCat November 19, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Who wouldn't want to be Joey B's homie?

Beowoof November 19, 2012 at 11:41 am

Straight Outta Delaware, Joey B bringing it in DC.

Esteev November 19, 2012 at 11:50 am

Straight outta Delaware, crazy motherfucker named Joe B
From the gang called Dems With Attitude
When I'm called off, I got a sign off
Squeeze the biker-babes, and votes are hauled off
You too, boy, if ya fuck with me
The secret service are gonna hafta come and get me
Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin out
For the punk senators that's showin out
Homeboys start to mumble, they wanna rumble

Beowoof November 19, 2012 at 11:57 am

Awesome.

Esteev November 19, 2012 at 11:43 am

Are you my Caucasian?

MissTaken November 19, 2012 at 11:44 am

Whatevs. Handsome Joe could stand up and just read the dictionary and he would still be cooler than 99% of other white dudes.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Hear, hear!

UW8316154 November 19, 2012 at 12:56 pm

AND showered with panties!

Serolf_Divad November 19, 2012 at 11:45 am

It's a shame the mics didn't pick up Biden's full whispered comments to Obama after the passage of the Afordable Care Act: "This is a big fucking deal …inaudible" should have read "This is a big, fucking deal, mah niggah!"

SexySmurf November 19, 2012 at 11:50 am

Personally, I thought Biden's rapping about getting the "nappy dugout" was inappropriate.

Chet Kincaid_ November 19, 2012 at 11:51 am

Peace out Biden!!

Maman November 19, 2012 at 11:52 am

You only live once in Yolo County, CA Bitches! http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1015135227

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 11:52 am

Speaking for myownself, the pretty damned comical image conjured by that last paragraph made me LOL, thereby vexing the girl sitting next to me in the liberry.

Guppy November 19, 2012 at 12:16 pm

So long as you're not the one blatantly browsing porn.

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 11:53 am

He's still more with it than Rubio

Ground Zero Mostel November 19, 2012 at 11:55 am

I love Handsome Joe even though Hilary will flatten him like an anvil over Wile E. Coyote in four years.

Living in Joy November 19, 2012 at 11:57 am

Me too. I am an unabashed Biden fan.

Joshua Norton November 19, 2012 at 11:56 am

I hardly know Uncle Joe since he gone all "street".

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 11:56 am

Maybe he meant to say "VOLVO!"

UW8316154 November 19, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Vulva?

Trinket November 19, 2012 at 11:57 am

Joe Biden can literally say any fucking thing in the goddamn world, and it does not matter.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Chet Kincaid_ November 19, 2012 at 11:57 am

"Sweet Christmas!!" Biden exclaimed, looking up from his mint condition "Luke Cage, Hero For Hire" #1.

James Michael Curley November 19, 2012 at 12:12 pm

When Ol' Joe was up here he personally towed the John B. Caddell which had washed aground on Staten Island by holding the tow lines in his teeth. After it was back in the straights at the Aurthur Kill he said, "One thing in the world I hate: leeches. Filthy little devils"

solrobins6 November 19, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Somehow, this just makes me love him 100x more.

BlueStateLibel November 19, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Mitt Rmoney would have said: "Here's a quarter, call someone who cares."

Pat_Pending November 19, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Hey, 'homeboy' is kind of a step up from describing Bamz as 'articulate and clean.'

TootsStansbury November 19, 2012 at 12:21 pm

I love me some JoeyB.

Aridzona November 19, 2012 at 12:27 pm

New Jersey to Joe: "Go home, boy."

ttommyunger November 19, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I am getting the impression that joe doesn't really give a fuck now, which makes me love him all the more.

southernboyman November 19, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Joey-B is so jiggy wid it.

BeefHardcake November 19, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Na na na na na naaaah na.

Lazy Media November 19, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Y'all know that "home boy" refers to somebody from your hometown/state, right? I assumed Joe was referring to himself, since Delaware is right next to Jersey. If he's referring to Obama, then he don't know what that word mean.

gurukalehuru November 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Totally snark free comment this time around: You hit the nail on the head with "Joe Biden can literally say any fucking thing in the goddamn world, and it does not matter."
When you're heart's in the right place, you don't need to worry about what comes out of your mouth.

BZ1 November 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Joe is well-meaning but ultimately his mouth is not always connected to his thinking process…

HistoriCat November 19, 2012 at 2:28 pm

You have to be careful – if you hit him too hard, he might turn into a Republican.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 19, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Vice President Biden was later heard to remark "To the window, to the wall!"

AznMom420 November 19, 2012 at 5:25 pm

In a moment of clarity joe responded to the audience, "its hard as fuck out here on these streets you cant walk to the bodega without fuckin your new kicks up so bad it look like you been kickin Mitt Romney in the ass for 7 months, dirty ass motherfucker. Fuck Sandy fuck that big windy bitch."

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