down in his b-boy stance

Hurricane Hypeman Joe Biden Warms Up The East Coast For Your Homeboy Barack Obama

He sees you baby, shaking that ass, shaking that assJoe Biden can literally say any fucking thing in the goddamn world, and it does not matter. Said Joey the Biden to Sandy victims to make them feel better and convince them they have a black friend:

“So as the president said when he was up here with the governor, we’re not going anywhere. We’re not going anywhere. And you’ve got a homeboy in the deal who gets it.”

On the plus side, Joe Biden’s weirdly benign racial cluelessness is turning in a more positive direction, warming up the crowd for when Obama and Jay-Z come out to do a modified duet of “Bonnie and Clyde.”

Unconfirmed pool reports also state that Biden stood astride a wrecked home and bellowed, “YOLO!” to the heavens while hurling unopened bottles of Ciroc into the ocean.

[Washington Post]

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Come here a minute

    At least Joe Biden did not ask who, who let the dogs out.

    • Preferred Customer

      That is because he is aware of what time it is.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    So when does Obama start his Twitter Page "Old White Man Sez:"?

  • Barbara_

    Good thing Paul Ryan isn't the VEEP. That would be a four-year tropical depression I couldn't survive.

    • JustPixelz

      Especially if he talked about homeboy Romney. 'Course Romney has so many houses, Ryan would probably just call him "homes" for short.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Lol, didn't you make that same joke about JamaCain back in 2008?

        • sullivanst

          All good liberals reduce, reuse, recycle.

    • Terry

      If Romney-Ryan had been elected, there would have been a massive mid-Atlantic depression centered directly over my apartment.

      • Barbara_

        Terry, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! I'm walking out the door for vacation and you are one of the many things I am Thankful for. Love~

        • Terry

          Barbara,

          I feel the same way. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      no kidding. I assigned my husband to read "Atlas Shrugged" weeks and weeks ago so someone in my house could discuss it and he still hasn't finished that thing yet. It sucks that much. And that is Ryan's mantra.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Jeez, you're just handing the poor guy "mental cruelty" grounds!

      • HistoriCat

        Ouch! Couldn't you just whack him over the head with a frying pan? It would be less painful.

    • Callyson

      It would have been the equivalent to The Big One that my east coast relatives keep telling me will hit Los Angeles any day now.

      Happy Thanksgiving!

  • memzilla

    White guy cluelessness can sometimes spin around for the greater good.

    • BadKitty904

      It's expected of Handsome Ol' Joe. Plus *he's* cute when he does it, 'cause everyone knows he – unlike those cynical, pandering GOP feebs – sincerely means well.

  • Terry

    " Joe Biden’s weirdly benign racial cluelessness"

    This is what happens when well meaning old guys try to use the modern lingo.

    • JustPixelz

      I'm hip to that, daddy-o.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        That's just the bees knees, as the kids say.

      • corthylio

        Yo, homie, I am so down to that.

    • Beowoof

      That's rad dude.

    • SoBeach

      I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' out

    • Esteev

      Say 'word'.

    • BadKitty904

      No onions on HIS belt, by cracky!

    • Pat_Pending

      23-skiddoo!

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      I think Biden is a real hep cat, yo.

    • MosesInvests

      Far out.

    • UW8316154

      Swell!

    • wondering where i am

      Bitchen!

    • bobbert

      I feel ya.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    this is a big fuckin dizzzeal.

    • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

      fo shizzle

  • nounverb911

    Where was Jersey's giant walking Twinkie while Biden was in town?

    • Beowoof

      On SNL warming up his 2016 Presidential run.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Joey-B is cold lampin'

    • sullivanst

      with Flavor?

  • Lizzietish81

    Ok homeboys, let's posse!

    • UW8316154

      Posse up!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    By "homeboy" I assume he means himself, being from the East Coast, not the President.

    EDIT: Per the WaPo article, that's exactly what he was saying. So where's the "cluelessness"? Everyone routinely uses black colloquialisms from like 70 years ago, all the time. Not to mention Wonketters, who think a handful of scenes from "Blazing Saddles," "Animal House" and "Airplane" are the funniest things any black people said in all of recorded history.

    • SoBeach

      true dat

    • SexySmurf

      Your comment was off the chain, fo' shizzle my nizzle.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I'm partial to the old Bill Cosby stuff myself, but that's because I'm "square."

      (Wow, that one really is about 70 years old, isn't it? I think I'll go smoke some tea, now.)

    • Come here a minute

      Shut up you big dummy! We also like "Sanford and Son".

    • Terry

      You're right. I need to stop referring to my Chevy Cobalt as my pimpmobile.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Hey, I thought Blackula was much funnier.

    • BadKitty904

      Word.

    • HateMachine

      Apparently all recorded slang in history is "our word(s)" now.

      When I think "racial cluelessness" I'm usually thinking of the international exchange student who is wondering why white people's eyes are a bunch of weird colors and blah people's palms are paler. (Or the ridiculous questions I'm sure I ask while abroad)

    • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

      Thanks, Chet. You just killed my "Black" jokes for the next 10 years.

    • Pat_Pending

      where the white women at????

    • littlebigdaddy

      23 skidoo!

    • BerkeleyBear

      Not to mention Wonketters, who think a handful of scenes from "Blazing Saddles," "Animal House" and "Airplane" are the funniest things any black people said (as written by a bunch of white guys) in all of recorded history.

      FIFY.

      Personally, I'm more fond of biracial and cross cultural commentators like Chapelle and Key & Peele – although they do make me feel awfully guilty for laughing at times.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Defeatably_Joe

    Speaking of Joe Biden being a "G", as they* say, who here saw that Parks and Recreation episode a week or two ago?

    *I don't mean "they" in a racist way; GEEZ, GUYS.

  • JustPixelz

    Biden should stick to what he does best … Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? Anybody?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Carving Paul Ryan up like a motherfucking Christmas ham?

      • bobbert

        This.

    • Guppy

      Women.

  • JerkCade

    Maybe 'homeboy' was a self-description.

    • Serolf_Divad

      You think Biden knows the difference between a "homeboy" and a "homebody"?

      • JerkCade

        Yes, I think Biden works hard to stay hip to all the new-jack slang.

        • BadKitty904

          That's what makes it so hysterically funny when he tries to use it. It's like my granddad trying to dubstep.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    If Joe starts wearing low hanging pants I'm leaving for Canada… again.

    • HuddledMass

      Hey M. Grumpe! Long time no see, and welcome back.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        I've been busy. For some unknown reason my employers expect me to produce results. I blame Bush.

  • el_donaldo

    If Biden is going to keep tripping over his words, it's a good thing Obama is so articulate.

    • GoodDogThor

      …and 'clean looking'.

      • el_donaldo

        Thanks. I was beginning to think I was the only one whose memory extends back more than two weeks.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    And yet it wasn't OHJB on always-relevant SNL this past Sat night, was it?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    It doesn't take much to be the hippest Delawarian ever, does it?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      He's practically a hipster god, back in Scranton.

    • BadKitty904

      Good point. He and Dr. Jill will be dancing the Mashed Potato and the Frug next…

  • BornInATrailer

    A less racially charged America is a good thing.

    However, Joe Biden represents the prototype for the coming generations of colorblind older white men. So this is really just a taste of things to come. Sorry black/brown folks?

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    I know who Bonnie and Clyde are, sorta know generically who Jay-Z is (a rapper, maybe?), but why would somebody yell YOLO and what is a bottle of Ciroc? Are these mommy blog terms?

    (I read the today's birthdays list in the "newspaper" every day and realize that very soon I will know none of the people listed.)

    • sullivanst

      Which version of Bonnie and Clyde, though, '34 or '97?

      ETA: somehow I missed ever hearing about '03.

    • PubOption

      Ciroc is some kind of designer booze, which probably means that the bottle costs more than the contents. No idea about YOLO. Agree with you on the birthdays.

      • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

        YOLO = You Only Live Once… The kiddo's love it and it is now to Prom what "Stairway to Heaven" was 30 years ago. You're welcome.

      • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

        I guess knowing the birthday people traces a bell curve — you know you're middle age when you know all of them.

    • MissTaken

      YOLO = you only live once

      Also, Beyonce and Jay-Z collaborated on a Bonnie and Clyde song once upon a time.

    • Esteev

      "YOLO is carpe diem for stupid people," said someone on The Twitter.

      • Guppy

        And calling someone "stupid" via Twitter is what now?

        • Esteev

          Ironic?

    • BornInATrailer
    • BadKitty904
    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

      Switch from reading today's birthday list to the obituaries (the Irish funnies)

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    with all due respect, this is a lot of malarkey.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      It's also all a bunch of stuff!

  • sullivanst

    Biden in the house, yo!

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      He is precious cargo!

  • kittensdontlie

    Beka Book's American Presidential History:

    Only black President: Bill Clinton.
    Only black Vice-President: Joe Biden.

  • Geminisunmars

    He is able to speak in complete sentences, so I'm okay with it.

  • HRH_Maddie

    I call BS on Biden yelling "YOLO!" The guy is still using "homeboy" which means he's on a 12 year slang delay, which means in the next 4 years we can look forward to him adding "-izzle" to everything.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      In fairness to Joe, YOLO sounds like something you'd order in a biker bar

      • HRH_Maddie

        "2 slippery YOLOs, please"

    • HateMachine

      I, for one, can't wait for him to adopt "swag"

    • GoodDogThor

      would also have accepted 'homes' and 'homeslice'.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Even if Joe was actually referring to himself, Obama is secretly thrilled. He's always wanted to to be Joe Biden's homie.

    • HistoriCat

      Who wouldn't want to be Joey B's homie?

  • Beowoof

    Straight Outta Delaware, Joey B bringing it in DC.

    • Esteev

      Straight outta Delaware, crazy motherfucker named Joe B
      From the gang called Dems With Attitude
      When I'm called off, I got a sign off
      Squeeze the biker-babes, and votes are hauled off
      You too, boy, if ya fuck with me
      The secret service are gonna hafta come and get me
      Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin out
      For the punk senators that's showin out
      Homeboys start to mumble, they wanna rumble

      • Beowoof

        Awesome.

  • Esteev

    Are you my Caucasian?

  • MissTaken

    Whatevs. Handsome Joe could stand up and just read the dictionary and he would still be cooler than 99% of other white dudes.

    • BadKitty904

      Hear, hear!

    • UW8316154

      AND showered with panties!

  • Serolf_Divad

    It's a shame the mics didn't pick up Biden's full whispered comments to Obama after the passage of the Afordable Care Act: "This is a big fucking deal …inaudible" should have read "This is a big, fucking deal, mah niggah!"

  • SexySmurf

    Personally, I thought Biden's rapping about getting the "nappy dugout" was inappropriate.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Peace out Biden!!

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    You only live once in Yolo County, CA Bitches! http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1015135227

  • BadKitty904

    Speaking for myownself, the pretty damned comical image conjured by that last paragraph made me LOL, thereby vexing the girl sitting next to me in the liberry.

    • Guppy

      So long as you're not the one blatantly browsing porn.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    He's still more with it than Rubio

  • http://www.marionstein.net Ground Zero Mostel

    I love Handsome Joe even though Hilary will flatten him like an anvil over Wile E. Coyote in four years.

    • Living in Joy

      Me too. I am an unabashed Biden fan.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    I hardly know Uncle Joe since he gone all "street".

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Maybe he meant to say "VOLVO!"

    • UW8316154

      Vulva?

  • Trinket

    Joe Biden can literally say any fucking thing in the goddamn world, and it does not matter.

    You say that like it's a bad thing.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "Sweet Christmas!!" Biden exclaimed, looking up from his mint condition "Luke Cage, Hero For Hire" #1.

  • James Michael Curley

    When Ol' Joe was up here he personally towed the John B. Caddell which had washed aground on Staten Island by holding the tow lines in his teeth. After it was back in the straights at the Aurthur Kill he said, "One thing in the world I hate: leeches. Filthy little devils"

  • solrobins6

    Somehow, this just makes me love him 100x more.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Mitt Rmoney would have said: "Here's a quarter, call someone who cares."

  • Pat_Pending

    Hey, 'homeboy' is kind of a step up from describing Bamz as 'articulate and clean.'

  • TootsStansbury

    I love me some JoeyB.

  • Aridzona

    New Jersey to Joe: "Go home, boy."

  • ttommyunger

    I am getting the impression that joe doesn't really give a fuck now, which makes me love him all the more.

  • southernboyman

    Joey-B is so jiggy wid it.

    • BeefHardcake

      Na na na na na naaaah na.

  • Lazy Media

    Y'all know that "home boy" refers to somebody from your hometown/state, right? I assumed Joe was referring to himself, since Delaware is right next to Jersey. If he's referring to Obama, then he don't know what that word mean.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Totally snark free comment this time around: You hit the nail on the head with "Joe Biden can literally say any fucking thing in the goddamn world, and it does not matter."
    When you're heart's in the right place, you don't need to worry about what comes out of your mouth.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Joe is well-meaning but ultimately his mouth is not always connected to his thinking process…

  • HistoriCat

    You have to be careful – if you hit him too hard, he might turn into a Republican.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Vice President Biden was later heard to remark "To the window, to the wall!"

  • AznMom420

    In a moment of clarity joe responded to the audience, "its hard as fuck out here on these streets you cant walk to the bodega without fuckin your new kicks up so bad it look like you been kickin Mitt Romney in the ass for 7 months, dirty ass motherfucker. Fuck Sandy fuck that big windy bitch."