JUDICIAL RESTRAINTS  9:55 am November 19, 2012

New Birther Judge Gary Kreep: Gays Threw Pus And Come On Me

by Wonkette Jr.

what am I doing here? I don't belong hereDid you know that in many states there are judicial elections? And that those judicial elections are a pathway for really exceptional conspiracy-driven wingnuts, rather than your garden-variety wingnut, to ascend to positions of power? And it is almost impossible to get rid of them once they are elected? You do now!! Democracy, California-style, has given us soon-to-be Judge Gary G. Kreep of San Diego.

There is no doubt that yr Wonkette Junior is aware of the delightful aptness of Mr. Kreep’s moniker. Even more delightful: Mr. Kreep’s opponent in his titanic election struggle was a gentleman named Mr. Garland Peed. But, San Diegoaneans, why elect the qualified when you can elect the crazy? USA! USA! It is your god-given right to ignore this guy:

For nearly 30 years, Peed has been a capable prosecutor. Everybody who’s worked with him likes him. He racked up every serious endorsement imaginable, from DA Bonnie Dumanis to Sheriff Bill Gore, from the San Diego police and county deputies unions to the judge whose seat he would have filled.

Why choose likable or competent for your judge-type-person when instead you can have Kreep, who has sought to rid the world of homosexuals, abortioneers, messicans, Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, and Teddy Kennedy. Mr. Kreep might seem like a veritable titan of intolerance, but Mr. Kreep is just being targeted by those meddling gays:

Kreep paints himself as a victim, saying he received death threats and that the city assigned six police officers to protect him at [San Diego Human Rights Commission] meetings. He also claims that, during the meetings, he was “bombarded with used condoms and pus and blood soaked cotton balls” flung by his opponents.

Everybody knows that all the gayz do is save up their precious bodily fluids to fling at the righteous. Of course the gayz, being lying liarpants, disagree with this stone cold truth:

“If this was true, it would’ve been on every TV station,” says Nicole Murray-Ramirez, a gay activist who spoke against Kreep during public comment in 1992 and later served as HRC chairperson from 2006 to 2011. “That’s impossible. If that incident happened, I would know and I would’ve condemned it… That didn’t happen. He’s obviously lying.”

“Nobody threw any junk like that at him,” says Duane Shinnick, a former deputy district attorney who’d been appointed to the commission by Mayor O’Connor.

“He’s full of shit,” Rossi says. “Excuse my French; I’m almost 83. Nobody ever threw condoms or bloody cotton balls at him. Not even one. He may have felt we wanted to choke him a time or two, but we wouldn’t have done something that drastic.”

“Horseshit,” Klumpp says. “What nonsense. That is insanity… But I have no doubt he has convinced himself that it happened.”

Wonketeers, yr Wonkette Junior asks you: who are you gonna believe? Several swearing homosexuals and their brainwashed collaborator friends or this handsome devil?

Enjoy your new judge, San Diego!! Not condoms, nor pus (how do you collect pus?) nor blood-soaked cotton balls (?!) stopped this freedom train. If you’re a homosexual abortion-having messican Democrat living in San Diego now, you can take comfort in the fact that while Kreep will no doubt live up to his name, at least you didn’t follow Cook County’s lead and elect an outright criminal as your judge:

Soon after being charged with misdemeanor battery, a panel of supervising judges barred her from entering the county’s courthouses without a police escort. But neither that, nor the fact that numerous bar associations have recommended since 2000 that voters toss Brim from the bench, kept her from narrowly retaining her seat Tuesday.

Advantage, Chicago.

[San Diego City Beat]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 139 comments }

EatsBabyDingos November 19, 2012 at 9:58 am

Definitely looks like another New York D.A who let his pornstache go bad.

ChillBill November 19, 2012 at 9:58 am

Has anyone seen Kreep's stapler?

Fred Humphries II Jr November 19, 2012 at 10:18 am

Could Milton Kreep be Ron Swanson's mentally challenged older brother? The blood-soaked cotton balls thicken!

dr_giraud November 19, 2012 at 11:14 am

I could set the courthouse on fire.

snowpointsecret November 19, 2012 at 9:58 am

His moustache fits his last name quite nicely.

Barbara_ November 19, 2012 at 9:59 am

(how do you collect pus?)
Boil it? No, that's how you make holy water or some shit like that. Now I am going to think of boils all day. Thanks, Gary Kreep!

memzilla November 19, 2012 at 10:06 am

Mounting a Get-Out-The-Pus drive would be one way to collect it. Hell, I'm thinking of setting up a collection stand outside the Loisaida clinic; I'd mail him the results via the pustal service (sorry).

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

You wouldn't express it to him?

kittensdontlie November 19, 2012 at 10:32 am

What do we want? Pus!
When do we want it? Now!

deanbooth November 19, 2012 at 10:22 am

Lance Boyle came in third.

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 9:59 am

Kreep and Peed. A vaudeville act in the making.

PubOption November 19, 2012 at 10:24 am

Krapt and Peed would be better.

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 10:32 am

Clearly, you've never been as drunk as I am.

I mean, have been.

eggsacklywright November 19, 2012 at 10:34 am

Frick and Frack will skate on this one.

FlownOver November 19, 2012 at 10:40 am

Aren't they the Blah guys with the Comedy Central show?

memzilla November 19, 2012 at 9:59 am

Needs moar — and better aimed — used condoms and pus and blood soaked cotton balls.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 10:00 am

The freakish need of GOP-types to somehow see themselves as martyrs is beyond belief. Wishful thinking, Kreep?

Esteev November 19, 2012 at 11:07 am

There's reason to be defensive when everyone calls you a Kreep for no reason.

Terry November 19, 2012 at 11:10 am

It's their go-to response when shown to be wrong and/or crazy over and over and over again.

snowpointsecret November 19, 2012 at 10:00 am

On the plus side, Kreep did not have a panty-related issue. I'm sure that's why he won.

not that Dewey November 19, 2012 at 10:28 am

while on the pus side…

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 10:33 am

What you did there? I see. You made a crack.

eggsacklywright November 19, 2012 at 10:01 am

Mission Kreep is always a bad thing.

thatsitfortheother1 November 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

And Peed is generally a good thing.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 10:22 am

Context. It's all about *CONTEXT*…

memzilla November 19, 2012 at 10:01 am

For the 1,756th time: Your move, Arizona.

Oblios_Cap November 19, 2012 at 10:02 am

“Nobody threw any junk like that at him,”

He probably wishes someone would dangle some junk in front of him, though….

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 10:03 am

He certainly looks the type. Note the artfully placed curl over the forehead…

Not_So_Much November 19, 2012 at 10:03 am

All this time I thought the term "pussbucket" was just a colloquialism.

AlterNewt November 19, 2012 at 10:04 am

Always carry a towel.

Botlrokit November 19, 2012 at 10:19 am

Don't panic.

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 10:34 am

Or in his case, a trowel. That bullshit don't shovel itself.

thatsitfortheother1 November 19, 2012 at 10:41 am

Paula Broadwell dating tip #1.

FlownOver November 19, 2012 at 10:42 am

Re-election slogan: " Judge Gary Kreep – One Hoopy Frood"

Estproph November 19, 2012 at 10:04 am
weejee November 19, 2012 at 10:39 am

Zombie Frank Sinatra sends hiz up thumbz…

Maman November 19, 2012 at 10:05 am

In all fairness, Judge Brim had been declared legally insane at the time of the incident.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 10:07 am

Oh, well, in THAT case…

Mumbletypeg November 19, 2012 at 10:05 am

Aha — the "Black Friday Kreep," unmasked at last~

Maman November 19, 2012 at 10:06 am

Who takes the time to differentiate the various body fluids being tossed at them? Sounds like someone has a touch of OCD!

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 10:14 am

As well as a remarkably vivid (and desperately sick) imagination.

eggsacklywright November 19, 2012 at 10:07 am

I hope news of his hobby of torturing kittens in blenders doesn't leak out.

Loch_Nessosaur November 19, 2012 at 10:07 am

He also claims that, during the meetings, he was “bombarded with used condoms and pus and blood soaked cotton balls” flung by his opponents.

Was there any santorum?

hollywooddood November 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

I don't know. It just sounds like a typical Saturday night to me.

BZ1 November 19, 2012 at 10:07 am

Garry Kreep, now come on, this is Onion, right?? OK, maybe now, not as snarky, when I've seen what he looks like. You couldn't get a more wild-eyed fanatic. http://www.sdcitybeat.com/sandiego/article-11186-

weejee November 19, 2012 at 10:42 am

But clearly not a fan of the American flag fag? He gets caught wide stancing in 3, 2, 1…

banana_bread November 19, 2012 at 10:08 am

You guys really surprised at Chicago? We also re-elected a dude who was thrown out of the state legislature for corruption and now cannot be thrown out again. And Jesse Jackson Jr, who did zero campaigning and has been AWOL for six months.

Chicago REALLY LIKES incumbents, what can I say.

fuflans November 19, 2012 at 11:04 am

nobody can compete with cook county in the dicey, questionable or corrupt category.

shouldn't even try really.

Goonemeritus November 19, 2012 at 10:09 am

I doubt even Catfish Hunter could manage to throw a cotton ball more than a few feet.

Esteev November 19, 2012 at 11:09 am

They're perfectly weighted with a touch of blood of your enemies.

EnnuiThereYet? November 19, 2012 at 10:10 am

San Diego – come for the sun soaked beaches, stay for the cum soaked cotton balls.

PsycWench November 19, 2012 at 10:10 am

Michael Steele pulled off that "pelted Oreos at me" story so much better.

Botlrokit November 19, 2012 at 10:14 am

Peed, Kreep, Balls.

Sorry, I just can't focus on the story. I'm too juvenile.

Also, Philip Seymour Hoffman libel!

Fred Humphries II Jr November 19, 2012 at 10:14 am

Dude's a living Pus Christ.

Esteev November 19, 2012 at 11:32 am

Even Jesus think Kreep is aptly named.

ttommyunger November 19, 2012 at 10:14 am

Sorry, if the only choice was between Peed and Kreep, I would fucking MOVE!

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 10:15 am

I know, right?

ttommyunger November 19, 2012 at 10:32 am

Fer sure!

snowpointsecret November 19, 2012 at 10:17 am

In a local race we had a juvenile court winner named Kuntz. That can't end well.

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 10:26 am

First name "Dick"?

thatsitfortheother1 November 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

Vaj.

ttommyunger November 19, 2012 at 10:32 am

Reminds me of an old army buddy named Jerry Schittlipz. He was smart enough to get his name changed. Jimmy is much happier now..

thatsitfortheother1 November 19, 2012 at 10:43 am

I know a German woman named Fickeisen.

fatbob54 November 19, 2012 at 10:52 am

For a while here in "Greater Chicagoland" we had a weekend news anchor named Dick Johnson and his weatherman sidekick named Peter Sack: http://www.nbcchicago.com/on-air/about-us/Dick_Johttp://www.nbcchicago.com/on-air/about-us/Pete_Sa

Dildeaux November 19, 2012 at 11:52 am

"Harry"?

weejee November 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

New a WAC in the Army with a last name of Parts. Three guesses on her rank.

ttommyunger November 19, 2012 at 10:48 am

And praying desperately for a promotion.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

thatsitfortheother1 November 19, 2012 at 10:52 am

There's a Major Bover joke in here somewhere.

weejee November 19, 2012 at 10:56 am

Now if I just knew how to spell …aggggggg…..

bobbert November 19, 2012 at 2:41 pm

You mean "Know if I just new how to spell"?

Dudleydidwrong November 19, 2012 at 10:14 am

E-mission Kreep is even worse.

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 10:15 am

The mere fact that he was kneeling in front of any number of gay men, and they didn't throw it so much as fire it at him….and that it wasn't pus…

snowpointsecret November 19, 2012 at 10:16 am

He also claims that, during the meetings, he was “bombarded with used condoms and pus and blood soaked cotton balls” flung by his opponents.

See, it's obvious his opponents don't go to Wonkette. If they did, they'd have done it with votes and he never would have won.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 19, 2012 at 10:16 am

It will be interesting to see how long anyone this sleazy can remain on the bench in California.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

Why is there an Ewok in the photo?

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

Silly. That's Dr Zaius, the lawgiver.

smellypossum November 19, 2012 at 10:16 am

Is that Kreep's photo from the California sex offender registry?

docterry6973 November 19, 2012 at 10:16 am

How do you collect pus? Wonkette, Jr, you dont know the fun you've been missing!

thatsitfortheother1 November 19, 2012 at 10:16 am

Don't know about you folks but I generally keep a little pus on hand, just for occasions like this.

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 10:18 am

This is why I still have pimples.

thatsitfortheother1 November 19, 2012 at 10:28 am

When life gives you lemmons…

Esteev November 19, 2012 at 11:08 am

Kasi?!

DaSandman November 19, 2012 at 10:17 am

So don't stand there on the street naked with a bib on and your mouth open. Have some class man, you're a judge now!

actor212 November 19, 2012 at 10:18 am

“Horseshit,” Klumpp says.

And Eddie Murphy was so on a comeback before this…

Dudleydidwrong November 19, 2012 at 10:19 am

Didn't Carl Sandburg write about him?

THE Kreep creeps in
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.

Maybe he'll keep on creepin' down to rent boy city, to the south. Creep, Kreep!

PubOption November 19, 2012 at 10:31 am

I suspect that this Kreep will not be silent.

deanbooth November 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

Was it the teevee commercials? Gotta be the teevee commercials.

I think the best plan for the Democrats is to give away free DVRs — no one would ever watch a commercial again.

Sparky November 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

Kinda looks like Arpaio's younger, dapper, barely- closeted brother.

PsycWench November 19, 2012 at 10:24 am

with a 70's porn-star mustache.

Sparky November 19, 2012 at 5:37 pm

And a foppish pompadour.

Jukesgrrl November 20, 2012 at 12:12 am

And the same obsession with pink underwear.

ManchuCandidate November 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

Sounds like more of a wish list than a complaint.

TheGrandInquisitor November 19, 2012 at 10:22 am

Somewhere an appellate court judge is shaking their head and sighing.

boskolives November 19, 2012 at 10:22 am

Sadly, using the Twinkie defense against thrown condoms and cotton balls will be harder with the, eh, coming shortage.

kittensdontlie November 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

Chicago Democrats re-elected a legally insane judge rather than a sane Republican. Can't say I can blame them.

BadKitty904 November 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

I'd say they're one up.

kittensdontlie November 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

Sanity is in the eye of the beholder.

docterry6973 November 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

Just a guess, but I bet he was listed first on the ballot.

PA elects judges, and you cannot imagine a more pathetic collection of party hacks and grifters.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 19, 2012 at 11:35 am

We "elect" them in NY as well, but party hacks (from both parties) ensure that there are always exactly n candidates on the ballot for us to "choose" from, for the n available seats.

Defeatably_Joe November 19, 2012 at 11:50 am

There was definitely a Judge on my ballot this year who was running for as the Democratic, Republican, and Working Families Candidate. I kinda wondered what was up with that, since the other ones were all running unopposed.

Defeatably_Joe November 19, 2012 at 11:51 am

Local PA races can be fun; I remember back in college, there was a school board election in our district, one of our econ profs was the incumbent, and being an very blunt economist (albeit a rather liberal Keynsian), not always well-loved by our education students.

So naturally, his opponent picked up this fact, and ran as the Green Party's candidate. And, oh yeah: she was also the Republican and actually about as much of a winger as you could find in the Philly suburbs. Good news, a plurality of the students at my school were moderately discerning, even though we definitely loved our third-party protest-votes (and just protests in general, constantly, for any reason) at Atheist Liberal College.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 19, 2012 at 10:24 am

I think this guy has some kind of fucked up medical waste kink. Look for him in the dumpster behind the hospital, sniffing the old bedpans.

thatsitfortheother1 November 19, 2012 at 10:30 am

Or just down on the Jersey shore.

Dildeaux November 19, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Biohazardophelia

Jukesgrrl November 20, 2012 at 12:14 am

Biohazardpalooza.

DixvilleCrotch November 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

Those gays and their bodily fluids, getting them all over all of us, and at quite inappropriate times like in committee meetings.

Did they finish on his face?

freakishlywrong November 19, 2012 at 10:29 am

Had to run an errand and came back to this post with "69" comments. Isn't it ironic?

HateMachine November 19, 2012 at 10:32 am

"Garland Peed"

I just bet he did.

notgross November 19, 2012 at 10:32 am

I think "several swearing homosexuals" was considered as lyrics when they were writing "The 12 Days of Christmas."

thatsitfortheother1 November 19, 2012 at 10:46 am

Eleven pols a'pusing.

tessiee November 19, 2012 at 11:02 am

Five–gobs–of–pus!

FlownOver November 19, 2012 at 11:06 am

And a cartridge in a Glock 9.

Vecchiojohn November 19, 2012 at 11:14 am

Six gays a-cussin'?

James Michael Curley November 19, 2012 at 10:35 am

This is why CA is and always will be the bush league in politics. If this was in NJ all we would have thrown was the election.

Chet Kincaid_ November 19, 2012 at 10:37 am

That's one impressive James T. Kirk cowlick, lumpy boulder of a jawline and fashion-forward button-down-collar-over-askew tie. Not to mention the stewing-in-the-warmth-of-his-refarted-breakfast smug satisfaction.

Come here a minute November 19, 2012 at 10:39 am

Judge Kreep is so so fucking special Radiohead wrote a song about him.

La_Cieca November 19, 2012 at 12:53 pm

I was going to say "Radiohead sued this guy to make him stop using their music at his campaign events," but what you said was good too.

widestanceromance November 19, 2012 at 10:41 am

No one would cast their pearls before this swine, no matter how much he paid them.

Schmegeg November 19, 2012 at 10:49 am

Try as you might, thrown cotton balls don't go more than two feet.

southernboyman November 19, 2012 at 11:03 am

Shoulda kept his real Polish name, Kreepskowski.

fuflans November 19, 2012 at 11:04 am

well this should go well.

Chow Yun Flat November 19, 2012 at 11:06 am

bombarded with used condoms and pus and blood soaked cotton balls

In his dreams.

gurukalehuru November 19, 2012 at 11:07 am

No Santorum?

mrblifil November 19, 2012 at 11:16 am

This taking Michael Steele's Oreo Cookie bombardment to a whole nother level.

GoodDogThor November 19, 2012 at 11:17 am

"Kreep", really? This is a new Zach Galifianakis movie, right?

GoodDogThor November 19, 2012 at 11:34 am

Also starring DA Bonnie Dumbass and Sheriff Bill 'Al' Gore. With Duane Shinnick and a Klumpp, must be a collaboration with Eddie Murphy.

barto November 19, 2012 at 11:17 am

A feel a Messican rent-boy episode involving a certain judge coming on.

Biff November 19, 2012 at 11:30 am

Won't someone please blingee this Kreep, with used condoms and blood-soaked cotton balls shooped in?

Dildeaux November 19, 2012 at 11:46 am

Its a special ability to be able to decern the difference between thrown cum and pus. A skill much advanced of my own.

fawkedifiknow November 19, 2012 at 11:52 am

To paraphrase the late Senator Roman Hruska, "Even the 'tarded need representation on the bench."

Anybody who would elect someone this unqualified deserves the result.

Steverino247 November 19, 2012 at 11:53 am

And here's the special part: Kreep used those lies (or self-delusions) to raise funds for his important work.

Not going to go into details, but I've run up against this guy before. He's not that smart and doesn't know shit about the Constitution.

outragedcitizen November 19, 2012 at 11:54 am

Kreep and Peed?

These guys were running for a judgeship and they don't know you petition the court to have your name changed?

Bukko Canukko November 19, 2012 at 12:01 pm

This whole democracy, let-the-people-choose thing is way overrated. They empower too many fools. Let's select judges by having a blind person throw darts at papers with lawyers' names printed on them. As good a way as any to avoid picking Kreeps. For that matter, let's select Mumblers of Congrifts by darts/blind man/phone book page…

dancesw_cougars November 19, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Soon to be known as the "teflon judge" because the used condoms don't stick to him.

jello_mold November 19, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Ugh, one thing you can really count on from the teabaggers is their oversharing of some truly bizarre sex fantasies.

larrykat November 19, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Kreep was probably confusing it with that time Paul Ryan was finishing his two hour 50-something marathon and some queers at the end of the race threw bloody cotton-pus balls at him.

woodwakr November 19, 2012 at 2:15 pm

He's certainly lying; throwing an object at someone is prosecutable as assault, and if it had happened in front of law enforcement, they'd have arrested somebody.

MrsConclusion November 19, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Kreep, Peed, plus Brim. Who's writing the news? Thackeray?

thatsitfortheother1 November 20, 2012 at 3:17 am

Four pederasts…

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: