judicial restraints

New Birther Judge Gary Kreep: Gays Threw Pus And Come On Me

what am I doing here? I don't belong hereDid you know that in many states there are judicial elections? And that those judicial elections are a pathway for really exceptional conspiracy-driven wingnuts, rather than your garden-variety wingnut, to ascend to positions of power? And it is almost impossible to get rid of them once they are elected? You do now!! Democracy, California-style, has given us soon-to-be Judge Gary G. Kreep of San Diego.

There is no doubt that yr Wonkette Junior is aware of the delightful aptness of Mr. Kreep’s moniker. Even more delightful: Mr. Kreep’s opponent in his titanic election struggle was a gentleman named Mr. Garland Peed. But, San Diegoaneans, why elect the qualified when you can elect the crazy? USA! USA! It is your god-given right to ignore this guy:

For nearly 30 years, Peed has been a capable prosecutor. Everybody who’s worked with him likes him. He racked up every serious endorsement imaginable, from DA Bonnie Dumanis to Sheriff Bill Gore, from the San Diego police and county deputies unions to the judge whose seat he would have filled.

Why choose likable or competent for your judge-type-person when instead you can have Kreep, who has sought to rid the world of homosexuals, abortioneers, messicans, Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, and Teddy Kennedy. Mr. Kreep might seem like a veritable titan of intolerance, but Mr. Kreep is just being targeted by those meddling gays:

Kreep paints himself as a victim, saying he received death threats and that the city assigned six police officers to protect him at [San Diego Human Rights Commission] meetings. He also claims that, during the meetings, he was “bombarded with used condoms and pus and blood soaked cotton balls” flung by his opponents.

Everybody knows that all the gayz do is save up their precious bodily fluids to fling at the righteous. Of course the gayz, being lying liarpants, disagree with this stone cold truth:

“If this was true, it would’ve been on every TV station,” says Nicole Murray-Ramirez, a gay activist who spoke against Kreep during public comment in 1992 and later served as HRC chairperson from 2006 to 2011. “That’s impossible. If that incident happened, I would know and I would’ve condemned it… That didn’t happen. He’s obviously lying.”

“Nobody threw any junk like that at him,” says Duane Shinnick, a former deputy district attorney who’d been appointed to the commission by Mayor O’Connor.

“He’s full of shit,” Rossi says. “Excuse my French; I’m almost 83. Nobody ever threw condoms or bloody cotton balls at him. Not even one. He may have felt we wanted to choke him a time or two, but we wouldn’t have done something that drastic.”

“Horseshit,” Klumpp says. “What nonsense. That is insanity… But I have no doubt he has convinced himself that it happened.”

Wonketeers, yr Wonkette Junior asks you: who are you gonna believe? Several swearing homosexuals and their brainwashed collaborator friends or this handsome devil?

Enjoy your new judge, San Diego!! Not condoms, nor pus (how do you collect pus?) nor blood-soaked cotton balls (?!) stopped this freedom train. If you’re a homosexual abortion-having messican Democrat living in San Diego now, you can take comfort in the fact that while Kreep will no doubt live up to his name, at least you didn’t follow Cook County’s lead and elect an outright criminal as your judge:

Soon after being charged with misdemeanor battery, a panel of supervising judges barred her from entering the county’s courthouses without a police escort. But neither that, nor the fact that numerous bar associations have recommended since 2000 that voters toss Brim from the bench, kept her from narrowly retaining her seat Tuesday.

Advantage, Chicago.

[San Diego City Beat]

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  1. Barbara_

    (how do you collect pus?)
    Boil it? No, that's how you make holy water or some shit like that. Now I am going to think of boils all day. Thanks, Gary Kreep!

    1. memzilla

      Mounting a Get-Out-The-Pus drive would be one way to collect it. Hell, I'm thinking of setting up a collection stand outside the Loisaida clinic; I'd mail him the results via the pustal service (sorry).

  2. BadKitty904

    The freakish need of GOP-types to somehow see themselves as martyrs is beyond belief. Wishful thinking, Kreep?

  3. Oblios_Cap

    “Nobody threw any junk like that at him,”

    He probably wishes someone would dangle some junk in front of him, though….

  4. Loch_Nessosaur

    He also claims that, during the meetings, he was “bombarded with used condoms and pus and blood soaked cotton balls” flung by his opponents.

    Was there any santorum?

  5. banana_bread

    You guys really surprised at Chicago? We also re-elected a dude who was thrown out of the state legislature for corruption and now cannot be thrown out again. And Jesse Jackson Jr, who did zero campaigning and has been AWOL for six months.

    Chicago REALLY LIKES incumbents, what can I say.

  6. Botlrokit

    Peed, Kreep, Balls.

    Sorry, I just can't focus on the story. I'm too juvenile.

    Also, Philip Seymour Hoffman libel!

      1. ttommyunger

        Reminds me of an old army buddy named Jerry Schittlipz. He was smart enough to get his name changed. Jimmy is much happier now..

  7. actor212

    The mere fact that he was kneeling in front of any number of gay men, and they didn't throw it so much as fire it at him….and that it wasn't pus…

  8. snowpointsecret

    He also claims that, during the meetings, he was “bombarded with used condoms and pus and blood soaked cotton balls” flung by his opponents.

    See, it's obvious his opponents don't go to Wonkette. If they did, they'd have done it with votes and he never would have won.

  9. thatsitfortheother1

    Don't know about you folks but I generally keep a little pus on hand, just for occasions like this.

  10. DaSandman

    So don't stand there on the street naked with a bib on and your mouth open. Have some class man, you're a judge now!

  11. Dudleydidwrong

    Didn't Carl Sandburg write about him?

    THE Kreep creeps in
    on little cat feet.

    It sits looking
    over harbor and city
    on silent haunches
    and then moves on.

    Maybe he'll keep on creepin' down to rent boy city, to the south. Creep, Kreep!

  12. deanbooth

    Was it the teevee commercials? Gotta be the teevee commercials.

    I think the best plan for the Democrats is to give away free DVRs — no one would ever watch a commercial again.

  13. kittensdontlie

    Chicago Democrats re-elected a legally insane judge rather than a sane Republican. Can't say I can blame them.

  14. docterry6973

    Just a guess, but I bet he was listed first on the ballot.

    PA elects judges, and you cannot imagine a more pathetic collection of party hacks and grifters.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      We "elect" them in NY as well, but party hacks (from both parties) ensure that there are always exactly n candidates on the ballot for us to "choose" from, for the n available seats.

      1. Defeatably_Joe

        There was definitely a Judge on my ballot this year who was running for as the Democratic, Republican, and Working Families Candidate. I kinda wondered what was up with that, since the other ones were all running unopposed.

    2. Defeatably_Joe

      Local PA races can be fun; I remember back in college, there was a school board election in our district, one of our econ profs was the incumbent, and being an very blunt economist (albeit a rather liberal Keynsian), not always well-loved by our education students.

      So naturally, his opponent picked up this fact, and ran as the Green Party's candidate. And, oh yeah: she was also the Republican and actually about as much of a winger as you could find in the Philly suburbs. Good news, a plurality of the students at my school were moderately discerning, even though we definitely loved our third-party protest-votes (and just protests in general, constantly, for any reason) at Atheist Liberal College.

  15. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I think this guy has some kind of fucked up medical waste kink. Look for him in the dumpster behind the hospital, sniffing the old bedpans.

  16. DixvilleCrotch

    Those gays and their bodily fluids, getting them all over all of us, and at quite inappropriate times like in committee meetings.

    Did they finish on his face?

  17. notgross

    I think "several swearing homosexuals" was considered as lyrics when they were writing "The 12 Days of Christmas."

  18. James Michael Curley

    This is why CA is and always will be the bush league in politics. If this was in NJ all we would have thrown was the election.

  19. Chet Kincaid_

    That's one impressive James T. Kirk cowlick, lumpy boulder of a jawline and fashion-forward button-down-collar-over-askew tie. Not to mention the stewing-in-the-warmth-of-his-refarted-breakfast smug satisfaction.

    1. GoodDogThor

      Also starring DA Bonnie Dumbass and Sheriff Bill 'Al' Gore. With Duane Shinnick and a Klumpp, must be a collaboration with Eddie Murphy.

  20. Dildeaux

    Its a special ability to be able to decern the difference between thrown cum and pus. A skill much advanced of my own.

  21. fawkedifiknow

    To paraphrase the late Senator Roman Hruska, "Even the 'tarded need representation on the bench."

    Anybody who would elect someone this unqualified deserves the result.

  22. Steverino247

    And here's the special part: Kreep used those lies (or self-delusions) to raise funds for his important work.

    Not going to go into details, but I've run up against this guy before. He's not that smart and doesn't know shit about the Constitution.

  23. Bukko Canukko

    This whole democracy, let-the-people-choose thing is way overrated. They empower too many fools. Let's select judges by having a blind person throw darts at papers with lawyers' names printed on them. As good a way as any to avoid picking Kreeps. For that matter, let's select Mumblers of Congrifts by darts/blind man/phone book page…

  24. jello_mold

    Ugh, one thing you can really count on from the teabaggers is their oversharing of some truly bizarre sex fantasies.

  25. larrykat

    Kreep was probably confusing it with that time Paul Ryan was finishing his two hour 50-something marathon and some queers at the end of the race threw bloody cotton-pus balls at him.

  26. woodwakr

    He's certainly lying; throwing an object at someone is prosecutable as assault, and if it had happened in front of law enforcement, they'd have arrested somebody.

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