blowvember

New York D.A. Busted Starring In Nudie Lewdie Dix Flix

You find this very difficult to fap toIn the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups: the cops who investigate crimes, and the district attorneys who star in Deep Throat Part II: The Bonening.

A district attorney in upstate New York has admitted that he acted in pornographic movies in the 1970s then lied when questioned about it during his second campaign.

Mark Suben, the DA in Cortland County near Syracuse since 2008, held a news conference Friday to say he had lied about his past in the days before this year’s election.

“Recently materials have been circulated alleging that I was involved in the adult film industry about 40 years ago in New York. Those allegations are true,” he said. “I was an actor in adult films for a short period in the early 70s. I was also an actor in other venues including off Broadway, soap operas and commercial advertisements.”

Can we really judge this fellow? Truly, who among us hasn’t appeared in a porn film at some point in their lives? And sure, these films were made in the privacy of someone’s home and that they were meant for private viewing and –sorry, what’s that, Josh Marshall?

Actually, not just any porn actor, but one with a pretty gloried pedigree. He seems to have appeared in Deep Throat Part II in addition to Bedroom Bedlam and something called Devil’s Due. The film’s all seem to be from the first half of the 1970s. The plot of Devil’s Due is described thus by IMDb: “A young girl fleeing an abusive home life arrives in New York City and becomes involved in a satanic cult. She conspires with the cult leader’s two lesbian assistants to take over the coven.” Interesting.

But do we have video? OF COURSE we have video!

Look! It even includes Dramatic Gopher! That’s how you know this is a serious issue!

Suben performed under the name Gus Thomas in other lusty-busties flicks as Lecher and The Love Witch. Links SFW.

Suben has issued the boilerplate “bad judgment” apology, in which he admitted to other such heinous crimes as acting in soap operas and commercials.

He will not resign, according to his spokesman, Aimee Milks.

[NBC / TPM]

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Comments

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  • Serolf_Divad

    My first instinct is that we should give the benefit of the doubt to any straight man who beats the odds and manages to make a living in porn.

    • glasspusher

      To do otherwise would be a job killer.

    • LocalGirlMakesGoo

      I have no snark for this. I live in Cortland County and have worked with Mark in the past. He's a very good DA.

      • Lot_49

        As long as he didn't send five or six emails to an FBI agent's married girlfriend, he should come out of it okay.

        • LocalGirlMakesGoo

          I think it would make a great tourist attraction. Commit a crime in Cortland and face the pornstar D.A.

          • redarmyzombie

            Only if I can show up in costume.

          • Wile E. Quixote

            He should have his own fucking reality show. Seriously, what's the big deal? Is he a good D.A?

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      "…straight man who beats the odds…"
      Is that a euphemism for gay-bashing?

  • glasspusher

    Wow. What is revealed in that top picture is all I ever want to see!

  • glasspusher

    Apparently, looks aren't everything, even in porn! I can (and will not!) imagine how his technique makes up for it!

    • BerkeleyBear

      Two words for you: Ron Jeremy. Guys in porn in the 70s and 80s weren't there to look good, but either because they had a freakish wang, were so schlubby looking the wretches going to the porn theater could see themselves in the fantasies, or both.

      • glasspusher

        I am not ashamed of my ignorance of porn. My imagination does me just fine ;)

      • Fuck Toad

        Ron Jeremy also wasn't nearly as gross then as he is now. He was actually pretty svelte in his early career, and not even super-duper hairy (and hairier dudes were in, anyway).

        But yes, it was mostly his enormous prick that got him work.

      • tessiee

        Bad Luck Brian, for those of you who aren't familiar with him, is an internet meme that starts with good (or at least neutral) news and then gives you the really bad news, e.g., "Orders a Coca-Cola… Gets Pepsi" (ya get it, because Pepsi sucks).

        There's a Bad Luck Brian meme that goes something like:
        "Wins Date with Porn Star
        `
        `
        `
        Ron Jeremy"

    • Hera Sent Me

      Being able to get hard on cue and stay hard until the scene is filmed are basically the only requirements for a male porn star.

      Hence the nearly ubiquitous presence of the troll-like Ron Jeremy in the porno of the 1980's and 1990's.

      • viennawoods13

        I still remember fondly Ron Jeremy on SexTV discussing the ethics of the use of Viagra by porn stars. Not surprisingly, he wa sagainst it.

      • glasspusher

        All I know about porn I learned from watching Boogie Nights.

      • viennawoods13

        I am going to assume that is was a reference to a prescription erectile dysfunction drug which has banished my comment to the netherworld. What I said, however, was I have fond memories of Ron Jeremy on SexTV discussing the ethics of porn stars using such drugs. Needless to say, he was against it.

    • BadKitty904

      Str8 porn is apparently a *VERY* different world, indeed. Who knew?

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        From what I've seen, it's pretty gross. I prefer teh gay porn, where the participants are often gentle to one another. It feels less exploitative.

    • bobbert

      The relevant phrase here is "forty years ago". Those of us who were nominally adults forty years ago tend not to be too judgmental about our contemporaries' current looks.

    • PsycWench

      It's all about the mustache.

    • DrunkIrishman

      I remember coming across one of my dad's old porno videos from the 70s (he owned, not made, Jesus Christ, people). I was in awe of the bushiness of the women. Holy Fuck! When I was a kid, growing up in the 90s, all the nudie magazines, the girls were either shaved or trimmed. So, when I actually saw video … from an era long before … I wondered if a ferret or something had got lost up the girl's vag.

  • not that Dewey

    40 years is a long time to leave one's moustache style unchanged.

    • Serolf_Divad

      The porn 'stache is a memento from his acting days.

      • WhatTheHeck

        Those were his salad days.

        • Angry_Marmot

          Are you suggesting we toss him?

        • Geminisunmars

          That's not all he was eating.

      • kittensdontlie

        It's not the size of the man that makes the porn, it's the size of the porn 'stache that makes the man.

    • ProgressiveInga

      David Axelrod approves this comment.

    • BadKitty904

      And what was his 'stache's porn name?

      • Negropolis

        Nookie Duster.

      • Dildeaux

        Brock Phillups

      • TribecaMike

        Randy?

    • zwoits

      tell that to my dad…

  • http://www.toastcat.com Fred_Wertham_Jr

    Dick or GTFO.

  • kittensdontlie

    If Dems want my vote, a porno resume is an absolute necessity.

  • Misty Malarky

    A dramatic reminder that the man's appearance was NOT important in early porn.

  • Serolf_Divad

    A young girl fleeing an abusive home life arrives in New York City and becomes involved in a satanic cult. She conspires with the cult leader’s two lesbian assistants to take over the coven.”

    I remember watching that show when it was called "Three's Company."

    • not that Dewey

      "The Facts of Life"

      • LesBontemps

        Nah, that was the premise for "Full House."

    • shelwood46

      "Golden Girls"?

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Hey, the guy was a pizza delivery guy. If a female customer wanted some extra sausage then who was he to deny it?

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …lol, cue the cheesy music!

      • BadKitty904

        Bow-chicka-wow-wow!

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Ohhh…what about a porn lawyer? "Hello…thank you hiring the long short-arm of the law".

  • Barbara_

    "Truly, who among us hasn’t appeared in a porn film at some point in their lives?"

    Check the closing credits for "Lawrence of a Labia" to see if my name appears.
    Yeah, like anyone has ever seen the end of a porn.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Aren’t the ‘climax’ and the ‘end’ the same thing? Or does one come before the other?

      • Sparky

        In response to your second question: Yes ( I see what you did there).

    • secanonymous

      "Yeah, like anyone has ever seen the end of a porn."

      If it was less than 2 minutes, then yes, I have.

    • VodkaGoGo

      I usually only watch for 2 minutes 31 seconds but that's only because I know the equipment really well. I'm in the union.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Porns have closing credits?

    • FeloniousMonk

      Wasn't Ben Ghazi in that?

    • Wile E. Quixote

      I have, my God, I can't count the number of times I've shot huge, arcing ropes of jism all over the room in a paroxysm of pleasure when the key grip credit finally rolls. Isn't that what porn's all about? I thought that all of the fucking and sucking was just there to get you aroused for the credits. Am I doin it rong?

      • Boojum

        Key grip. Heh heh heh.

    • ttommyunger

      So, I'm not alone…..Nice!

  • CrunchyKnee

    Of course this is Obama's fault – UNPEACH!!!11111!!!

    • BadKitty904

      "Benghazi!" Also. Too.

  • Come here a minute

    Next stop, Director of Central Intelligence!

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Is that a Walther PPK or are you just happy to see me?

  • BlueStateLibel

    Is this a great country or what!

  • secanonymous

    I always wondered what happened to porn stars once the dickie-do sets in.

  • NYNYNYjr

    OMG- I had to check– you weren't joking about his spokesperson's name. A classic. Aimee Milks. Photo of Aimee Milks? Or Milking?

    • Geminisunmars

      That is a lovely porn name.

    • LotsOfRats

      His assistant DA is named Dick Powers. (Or should be.)

      • Negropolis

        His bodyman is He Hung-Lo.

  • Come here a minute

    "You may remember me from the classic 70's commercials 'I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing' and 'That's Italian!'"

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Or the gay porn I did using the name Ben Dover.

  • Callyson

    If you watch that video, I recommend hitting the mute button. Worst. Music. Ever.

    • BadKitty904

      You may be the first person ever, Cally, to actually listen to it. ;0)

  • VodkaGoGo

    Oooh, a new Wonkette jr. I hope it turns out to be a chick, for a mommy blog this place is a bit of a sausage party. This of course matters because I live in an alternate universe where it is totally plausable that I could meet and hookup with a Wonkette lady writer.

    • shelwood46

      Watched a little too much of the DA's ouevre today, eh?

      • VodkaGoGo

        That's everyday.

  • PubOption

    Needs more Boehner?

  • PhilippePetain

    New campaign slogan:

    "Mark Suben has the balls to take on New York's toughest criminals."

  • cybermoe

    Throatiness.

  • SexySmurf

    It even includes Dramatic Gopher!

    He's called the Dramatic Chipmunk. He's actually a prairie dog but changed his name in case he ever runs for political office.

  • Troubledog

    Here's to you, Mister District Attorney Who Was Formerly A Pornstar. None of us were ever a pornstar. And none of us ever got a law degree after being a pornstar, instead of turning into a junkie or a homeless, um, junkie. So here's to you, even though you look like a cop now, at one time, you were hot enough to get paid to have sex, as a man, which is very much hotter than most men.

    Just sayin. You're a Real American Hero.

    • SnarkOff

      This is why America is great.

      • Troubledog

        He's like a Baby Berlusconi.

    • tessiee

      "None of us were ever a pornstar."

      None of us were ever even a porn supporting player.

      • Serolf_Divad

        Fluff girl?

      • shelwood46

        Have we verified this? Because we do have some actors in these parts.

  • HeadsIWin

    At about eleven minutes into the video (no, i didn't watch the whole thing- who watches an entire porn?) he tells the girl scout selling cookies at his door he wants a free sample and then, if that isn't bad enough, says he wants to taste her pie. But the real crime is his body hair.

  • Pithaughn

    This is great news! I have refrained from seeking public office because I thought my tawdry acting / performing history would discredit me in the eyes of the voters.

    • BadKitty904

      Like Reagan?

  • LibrarianX

    Dirk Diggler has not aged well.

  • LibertyLover

    So it's true what they say that Politics is like Hollywood except only for ugly people.

    • tessiee

      I thought that was standup comedy.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Could the human body actually survive the amount of alcohol that you'd need to consume to look at that picture and think "Hawt sex!!"?

  • LibertyLover

    Mark Does New York doesn't have the same ring to is as Debbie does Dallas.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Ewwww the kiss at the end of that video! Why did I watch all the way to the end? Brain bleach and new eyeballs please!

  • SavageDrummer

    I have zero issue with someone who used to be in porn movies getting a job later in life, even if that job later in life is an elected position. Heh, position.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      As long as he's not prosecuting missionaries.

    • BadKitty904

      It's not like the American public isn't used to being screwed by those in elected positions, sooo…

      • corthylio

        Word.

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

      Erected position?

      • tessiee

        Is that joke racist?
        Oh, wait, you have an Asian name, so I guess it's OK.

  • Beowoof

    So the prosecutor in Cortland is a big dick and has a big dick. It would be the latter that makes the story unusual.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    He appeard in a dozen films? I understand in the porn industry that's considered a slow week.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    "commercial advertisements"

    Oh, you despicable slut!

  • bikerlaureate

    "A few weeks ago, when asked, I denied this to members of the press," Suben said. "I regret that and I apologize for it. I was shocked and embarrassed to be confronted with this so many years later. I was embarrassed for my family and friends who have stood by me. I also denied my actions to my family, my friends and my staff."

    Odd, but this article neglects to mention why anyone should trust him ever again.

    • bobbert

      Perhaps he's been forgiven by Jeebus.

    • Negropolis

      Well, to be serious, just because people lie about things they think might be personally embarrassing doesn't mean that they lie about everything else. Now, had he lied about past embezzlement of something other breach of the public trust, I'd be worried. Lying because porn is still so heavily stigmatized in America? Not so much.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Did he lie about his performance in office? No, he lied about something in his past which is irrelevant to his current career. Hey, if we're going to be all purist about it let's just exile Bill and Hilary Clinton to outer Mongolia while we're at since Bill lied to us about Monica Lewinsky and Hilary is guilty by association.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    … and he's not a General?

  • poorgradstudent

    Oh come on, Deep Throat II was really more of a comedy (a really bad one!) with some porn spliced in, rather than the other way around. Besides, it was the '70s; porn was mainstream for a few years, so who didn't act in it! (Not entirely joking here…).

    • BadKitty904

      Is there something you'd like to tell us, PGS?

      • poorgradstudent

        Haha, well, I can't say I wouldn't have acted in porn back then, but I did have the handicap of not existing during that trend.

        However, I'm not ashamed to admit that I have seen Deep Throat II, which, given how terrible it is, should be even more shameful than starring in porn.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      In the early 80s, the future Mrs. deanbooth and I went to a theater to see Marilyn Chambers in Insatiable with 3 other friend couples! I now find this totally bizarre.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …as a heterosexual male; I declare this a WIN!!!! This goes beyond party affiliations and political beliefs!

  • mavenmaven

    Whether we like it or not, the 70s were so long ago that those styles are cool again with kids.

  • MiniMencken

    "He was young and needed the money." How cum no one has written that yet?

    • tessiee

      "How cum"

      Misspelling or best/worst pun ever?

  • MiniMencken

    PS: I hear his fluffer was Ivana Trump. Pass it on.

    • ttommyunger

      I hear it was Donald Trump, pass it on….

  • Tundra Grifter

    If politicians had to resign for being bad actors, there would be a heckofa lot of vacant positions.

  • An_Outhouse

    The plot of Devil’s Due…

    that's the problem right there. too much plot.

  • BadKitty904

    Wilford Brimley: The Porn Years

    • tessiee

      "It's the right thing to do, and a new way to do it."

  • Tundra Grifter

    I just took another look at the top photo. I did not know Ron Jeremy went to law school.

  • coolhandnuke

    "I can't define pornography, but I know it when I act in it."
    –John Oliver Wendell Holmes

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Mark kept the trademark porn star moustache as a nice reminder of his previous uplifting career.

  • poorgradstudent

    Also, too, if you want to see Deep Throat II without actually seeing it, here's a riffing/review.

    • ElPinche

      Well, Suben should still pay for being in a movie with "fucking pie fight."

  • harumpa

    I thought I recognized this guy from somewhere!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Noah_Hegemon

    Boy was I confused. I thought it said BORN star. Like Drew Barrymore or something.

  • http://strangestoriesaboutsadpeople.blogspot.com/ Thedongsofwar

    Did he ever play a D.A in any of his films?

    • Guppy

      Yes, but "DA" stood for something else.

  • MosesInvests

    From "L.A. Law" back in the day:
    "Safe sex? This was the Seventies-safe sex meant not doing it while you were driving a car!"

  • decentcitizen

    Many of the DA's I knew had the ethics of a porn star.

  • Lazy Media

    Yeah. I'm not seeing a post here. Dude used to do porn 40 years ago. And? Is he a mighty anti-porn crusader?

    • shelwood46

      Yeah, I think this is trumped by the recent revelation that the Director of Highway Safety in MA has been in seven (7!) car accidents.

      • NellCote71

        And the fact that the director of the CIA uses the same email security measures as your run-of-the-mill al Qaida operative at an Internet cafe in Baghdad.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      He's being tight-lipped about his record

  • Toomush_Infer

    70's porn is the best porn….just sayin'….

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Yeah, I'm still waiting to see that Nazi, lesbian biker flick that Jan Brewer made in 1973. Lots of 70's bush.

  • Barrelhse

    There are a lot of bad actors in law-enforcement.

  • Franknflower

    Show us hte Ding Dong. (Too soon?)

  • Tommmcatt_Again

    I've never been in a porn film, but several of the guys I slept with in the 90's were.

    Life is good.

  • Guppy

    There is no greater sin in American politics than having a sex life more interesting than your constituents'.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Jim Breuer sees the potential for a return — to the big screen — of Wong & Owens: Ex-Porn Stars.

    • tessiee

      Better that than a Goatboy movie.

  • DahBoner

    Don't Feed the Dramatic Gopher.

  • Barrelhse

    Everybody's favorite character in this story has to be Aimee Milks.
    And with that name, I'll bet $10,000 that he met her in "the industry".

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Aimee Milks is called his "Spokesman", so I guess she had an addadictomi?

  • tessiee

    So, did the Dramatic Gopher show beaver, or what?

  • JadedPreppy

    I showed this to my 78-year-old Mother and she said "This is a nice diversion from General Penetratus starring in Four Star Genitals". She would comment herself, but she can barely handle AOL email.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Porn star, DA, what is the difference?
    Meh.

  • Negropolis

    Do. Not. Want.

  • unclejeems

    He used to make a living with his dick. Now he can't even see it when he looks down. (Shudder.)

  • Negropolis

    He was just doing this to get himself through college, right?

    Truly, the Most Interesting Man in the World. Stay horny, my friends.

  • tessiee

    "Fine! THAT'S JUST FINE!! I didn't want to be in your stupid movie for jerks in the first place! Oh, and by the way, Mark? You have cellulite on your ass, and I wouldn't be in an orgy with you if you begged me! BEGGED ME!" [step step step step SLAM! *blares music*] — Dramatic Gopher

    "Fine… That's just fine… No, really, I'll be OK. [sniffles, dabs eyes with handkerchief] Go, go off with your friends, have your fun. Make your little movie. [presses back of hand to forehead] I'll just sit here… all alone… in the dark… until the Pope calls." — Melodramatic Gopher

  • http://www.marionstein.net Ground Zero Mostel

    Oh for fuck's sake. It was the seventies. If you weren't in a porno, you were probably smoking weed with the choom gang, or sniffing coke off a call girl's tit, or something.

  • AlterNewt

    "He will not resign, according to his spokesman, Aimee Milks. "

    Yes. Of course.

  • cousinitt

    So, lemme see here. Judging by the looks of this guy and his short, but one may fairly say turgid oeuvre, and that he has still managed to attain the trusted position of district attorney…

    …well, does that mean we are to expect the San Fernando Valley's own Hedgehog to make a run for Governor of California about any day now? I mean, they elected a dim but handsome actor, a body-building freak, and a zen master (twice). Who better to run California and perhaps even mainstream America than the seminal porn star of our time? At least Ron (no the handsome one) has balls. And the thing is we've ALL seen them. True, I had to wash my eyes out with bleach the first time I saw them dangle in midair above an equally hirsute maiden faire, but still, truth in advertising and all that, eh?

    Me, if I'm in Cali, and thank the FSM I'm NOT, I'm voting Hedgehog: A Hole Different Governator.

  • ElPinche

    It's always the Wilford Brimley lookin ones.

  • AddHomonym

    143 comments and not one person has asked: is he a teabagger or what????

  • Wile E. Quixote

    What's the fucking problem? This guy is fucking awesome! He was a porn star and went to law school and became a district attorney. What a fucking stud! I hope he doesn't resign, in fact I hope that he gets his own reality show called "Pornstar D.A." which would be about delivering justice in upstate New York.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Hypothetically speaking, because of course I don't condone such behavior, this video would be really awesome to watch if you had first done a couple of solid bong hits and had a really stiff Moscow Mule made with raspberry ginger ale. Hypothetically speaking of course, because that kind of thing isn't legal in Washington state until December 6th.

  • editor

    oh sweet jesus. i do not wish to to cast any aspersions on anyone for whatever job they may have held (was a stripper myself for a bit), but, yikes. i am trying to date here. i am trying to find an acceptable man. this is not helping at all. guess i'm back to being a cat lady.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Wait, you're trying to date here, on Wonkette? Is this where you do it? Shit! I've been trying to do it on LinkedIn, but the only responses I get to my profile is from recruiters looking for programmers, which would be great, except I'm not a programmer, I'm a systems engineer/administrator, backup bitch and occasional unwilling DBA.

      • editor

        oh, yeah, sorry. didn't mean "here" as on wonkette. just meant here as in this lifetime. (immigrant typing.)

        • Wile E. Quixote

          No apology necessary. Dating here would be totally OK, us Wonketeers make a good catch.

          • HistoriCat

            Just wait until Rebecca gets that Wonkette personals up (heh) and running – it's going to be the 70s all over again. Just maybe with better fashion sense.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Excuse me, but this is not what I had in mind when I told the Editrix that Wonkette needed more 70's bush.

  • Dildeaux

    Off Broadway? Dild demands head on platter. Oops. Dild made pun.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Wait….this is the guy who beat me out for the role in Lecher??!?!?!?!?!?

  • Beach_Bubba_Tex

    IMDb reviews porn? That's dedication to the craft, man.

  • MrsConclusion

    The "but" in that intro has always driven me crazy. It should be "separate AND equally important groups". Then again, go be surprised that a Wonkette item about a DA/porn actor would include a problematic "but."

  • ttommyunger

    " Aimee Milks."? I'll bet she does….