AND TWINS!

Barack Obama Was Probably Banging Jill Kelley Obviously, Except For How He Is Gay

Just picture Obummer there, and all of them nakedWell this is much better! Tampa nonsense queen Jill Kelley and her evil twin visited the White House three times this year, an administration official told AP. Obviously, this means President Barack Obama has been boning both of them, in the SitRoom, while eating popcorn and laughing while watching Christopher Stevens die. He did this because he is a murderer, obviously, but also probably to throw people off the scent of his Muslim homosexual marriage.

An Obama administration official says a Tampa Bay socialite whose emails triggered the eventual downfall of CIA director David Petraeus visited the White House three times this year with her sister, twice eating in the Executive Mansion mess.

The official says that Jill Kelley, who initiated an investigation that ultimately unveiled Petraeus’ extramarital affair, and her sister had two “courtesy” meals at the White House mess as guests of a mid-level White House aide. Kelley and her family also received a White House tour. The visits occurred during the past three months.

The number of visits (three) means that Kelley and her sister are now official White House spokespeople, just like Hilary Rosen, and the Obama administration owns everything (thousands of pages of emails, plus “diplomatic inviolability”) they have ever said.

[AP]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • Tom

    All we need now is a blue dress

    • StillGoinGreen

      By the looks of these two, there would be no spillage!

    • LibertyLover

      Reminds me of a song from "White Christmas"

      Sisters, sisters
      There were never such devoted sisters,
      Never had to have a chaperone, No sir,
      I'm there to keep my eye on her
      Caring, sharing
      Every little thing that we are wearing
      When a certain gentleman arrived from Rome
      She wore the dress, and I stayed home

    • Tundra Grifter

      From Shorty Long – cut down in his prime at the tender age of 29:

      "Devil With The Blue Dress On"
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmdH5hAhs_8

      • glasspusher

        That would be a Tripp.

  • tbogg

    K-Street Kardashians

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      lol

    • flipdraw

      Yeah, they do kind of have a certain Kardashian charm.

      • BadKitty904

        Well, except for the "charm" part.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      "The tits are just the right size."

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

      Ahh, I was too slow…and obvious.

  • dr_giraud

    And critics accused Andrew Jackson of letting the rabble overrun the White House.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      Well, obviously, if there's any rabble-overrunning to be done, the Blah will do it better.

  • DrunkIrishman

    Oh no … those poor women. WHAT DID OBAMA DO TO THEIR NECKS?!?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I dunno, but I hope he'll teach me…

      • DrunkIrishman

        I guess he gave 'em a real tonsil scraping.

        • DrunkIrishman

          THAT'S MY PRESIDENT! YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT MY PRESIDENT THAT WAY!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

            Are you arguing with yourself? (takes bets on who's winning)

    • Terry

      Every single posed photo of them, they're tilting their heads like that. Some photographer must have told them as some point that it is flattering.

      • DrunkIrishman

        They actually are half-owl.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Or half-assed

          • Botlrokit

            Half-chewed Reese's peanut butter cup snorted into my nose. HURTS

          • DrunkIrishman

            SMARTIES!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

            Hahaha, those are called something else here, dear.

          • NellCote71

            I doubt they are half-assed. They look as if they may have the Kardashian curse, or blessing, depending on your perspective.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

            Ass is ALWAYS a blessing. Most men just won't say so in public.

          • SavageDrummer

            Obligatory Wonkette mention of buttsecks…

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I wanna see them do the 'trout-mouth' or whatever those Facey-booky kids are calling it these days.

        • Redgyal

          Cat bottom

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

            We used to call it "duck's bum" in my yoof.

        • Botlrokit

          FuckDuck face

        • BadKitty904

          Moose lips

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

            Um … that's the *other* lips, dear.

          • BadKitty904

            Um…how would *I* know? ;0P

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

            HAHAHA! Clue: Moose lips are a lot larger than girlface ducklips.

          • SavageDrummer

            Cameltoe…

        • Anne_Athema

          Trout pout.

    • mbatch

      Obviously their heads are too heavy for their necks–holding them upright is simply not possible.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      You might ask a hangman.

    • StillGoinGreen

      They have water in their ears – you can tell they've crashed into one of those Florida canals cause their flotation devices have been inflated! BTW… which one is Jill, cause I wanna fuck the other one??!!11!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Left.

        No, wait. Right.

        Wait. Which way are you facing?

        • StillGoinGreen

          Forward!! HAHAHAHAHA, GET IT? FORWARD! YOU KNOW LIKE ON MSNBC – NOT LEFT, NOT RIGHT, BUT FORWAR….. oh forget it!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

            It was fun to watch, tho.

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          Turn them upside down and they're all the same. Inside out as well, too.

    • ph7

      If you look closely, you can see the Presidential Headboard imprinted on the part….

    • Crank_Tango

      It's due to the gravitational pull of Marco's ears.

    • LibertyLover

      Brains too heavy on one side….

      • Anne_Athema

        More likely lacking brains entirely on the topside.

    • Negropolis

      Comment of the Thread.

  • GlowneyHouse

    How quaint. When I was a child these people were called "groupies." and Carmine Appice molested them with mudsharks.

    Simpler times…

    • CrunchyKnee

      What about Warren Cuccurullo? Nobody ever thinks about Warren Cuccurullo.

      • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

        Kinda young, kinda WOW!

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          Kinda hip, kinda now!

    • Steverino247

      The Edgewater Inn is a long way from Florida…

    • An_Outhouse

      back then they made plaster of paris penises of their conquests and called them art. good times!

  • sundaytrucker

    again with the head tilts?

    • Terry

      Makes you look more "interesting", too

      • BadKitty904

        In a drunken, deformed sorta way.

      • CthuNHu

        Where "interesting" means "intellectually vacant but potentially willing."

        Which, for appallingly vast numbers of us menfolk, qualifies as "highly interesting."

    • Negropolis

      For easier access?

  • Callyson

    "Courtesy" meals? Do I even want to know what was on the menu?

    • VodkaGoGo

      Abortions?

      • glasspusher

        They have people there that are very courtesy, and never mind trying to satisfy you, the custiments.

  • SorosBot

    A double pleasure's waitin' for you.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Expressed mathematically:
      It's not who you know, but who you blow x 2

  • Blueb4sinrise

    The nekkid car wash babes also too.
    Give THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • MissTaken

      It's a little known fact that Obama had a nekkid car wash installed in the White House solely for Biden's Corvette.

      • Blueb4sinrise

        'Corvette'? Is that code?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

          Woo-woo, baby, won'tchu rev ma engines. I'm sure there's lots of pretty ladies who'd be happy to nekky-wash Joe Biden's Corvette.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Welcome to GOP Diznee's newest comedy conspiracy theory: The Petraeus Trap starring the Kelley sisters.

    • Toomush_Infer

      That's the one where they go camping in Afghanistan and make that Patreus biographer chick come along without a mosquito net, right?…

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    These two have got to be driving the Kardashians nuts!

    • NellCote71

      More like a two-inch putt.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

        0_o

    • corthylio

      DW, did y'all ever get any rain out there? How are the birds & other critters doing?

  • OneYieldRegular

    "The Executive Mansion Mess" is going to be the title of my first political thriller.

    • Tundra Grifter

      OYR:

      Sounds like one of Christopher Buckley's books…

  • MissTaken

    In the White House 3 whole times?? That's nearly Jeff Gannon-level of access.

    • YouBetcha

      Blast from the past.

    • BadKitty904

      "Fame-whores Visit Famous Building" – this is news?

  • gullywompr

    And what did those sisters and the aide have at their meal?

    A sandwich, what else?

    • Loch_Nessosaur

      In Tampa, we call it a Cuban Sandwich.

  • MiniMencken

    Who else would like to check out the twins on those twins? Let he who is without sin send the first e-mail.

    • PubOption

      Needs a silicone detector.

      • Tundra Grifter

        I'm guessing not.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Now then, I'm sure they have fantastic personalititties….

    • Tundra Grifter

      A peach of a pair!

  • AlterNewt

    A once proud nation…tilts it's head in shame.

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    Rubio and the twins. And the twins.

    • HRH_Maddie

      I was thinking the same thing. That's an awful lot of sweater meat to have showing in front of a senator.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        It's OK, we're pretty sure he's Republican; he won't even notice it.

      • emmelemm

        Sweater meat? LOL

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          Sweater Puppies, with cute brown noses that get bigger when it's cold.

      • BadKitty904

        Not if there's a camera nearby, he won't.

    • bikerlaureate

      In the Mess, with a lead fork.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      I heard they've spent several hours down in the old record archive earlier, choosing four of the very best, and those magnificant hits are about to be given an airing for the General's delight. They'll soon have them swinging along to the music.

  • HRH_Maddie

    Their heads are so full of rocks they can't even hold them up straight.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Let's call them "Cleavage" and "Lipstick" just for lolz.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      Which is witch, tho?

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      W. Pleasure and W. Funn

      • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

        Two great tastes that taste great together!

  • EnnuiThereYet?

    Just your boring, everyday tri-lateral negotiations.

  • johnnymeatworth

    Barack Obama's new Chief Of Staff–Jack Tripper.

    • HarryButtle

      Mitch McConnell tried to block the nomination but finally relented after they convinced him that Jack was a ghey and totally wouldn't bang hot chicks like these trollops in the Lincoln bedroom.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Goddamit! He's hogging all the white poon now????

    When I voted for a blah guy, it was so *I* could get some!

    That's it…I'm voting for Romney!

    • LibertyLover

      I'm pretty sure, Romney is hogging all of Egg's …. you really want some of that action?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        No, not at all, that's why I'd vote for him

    • StillGoinGreen

      I did vote for him, electorily anyway.

      *tilts his head… down*

  • hagajim

    Doublemint scum?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Seriously. See a fucking chiropractor about your neck already.

    • Botlrokit

      That's what I'm screaming. I don't know whether to tilt my monitor to the left or right. UNIFORMITY, please, ppl

      • Jus_Wonderin

        They look like the Alice series robots that Kirk shorted out with logic.

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          I don't get this reference and I am OK with that.

        • HELisforHEL

          Ahhh, Mudd's Women. Good times.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

          You're right! Although I can't help wondering if they're supposed to be identical twins, in which case one of them had an awful lot of surgery.

    • Abernathy

      Can I get diplomatic inviolability from having to see any more pictures of these bobbleheads?

  • Respitetini

    Needs Moar Birth of a Nation.

  • slithytoves

    Congrats on that first paragraph, Rebecca! I need to go recover from it now.

    • meepmeep09

      It IS good! The Wonkette team can get by just fine, doing hilarious 'shorters' of material from WND and Fox.
      Keep it up, wingnut grifter-scribes! People are depending on you!

  • VodkaGoGo

    I never would have guessed Vincent D'Onofrio and his brother would make such convincing drag queens.

  • MissTaken

    Not even Diplomatic Immunity can save you from Socialite Neck Tilt Disorder.

    • SorosBot

      It looks like their hair is glued to the dude's shoulders.

    • BadKitty904

      I'm assuming their knees are calloused, too.

    • Esteev

      I can almost hear the giggles…

    • Tundra Grifter

      MissTaken:

      You've started to give Barb a run for the money!

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    What would you do if you had a million dollars, Marco?
    "Dos chicas al mismo tiempo!"

    • FakaktaSouth

      Chicks dig money.
      Well, not all chicks.
      Kinda chicks that'd double up on a dude like Marco do.

      I ain't saying they's gold diggers,
      But they ain't messing with no broke Senate figures.

    • Mittaplasia

      In Florida, they call it a "Massage mah twat".

  • Botlrokit

    God dammit, what is the deal with this tilted head nonsense? Is this the new duck-face? Are their necks broken? Is this a congenital defect? Seriously, pretty people should cut this shit out.

    • Preferred Customer

      These women should, too.

  • Goonemeritus

    No man would blame him for not passing up twins. It’s a well-known get out of jail excuse that all men have agreed to.

    Perhaps I’ve said too much.

    • Mittaplasia

      Twin guys and a gal were a solid lineup from a female point-of-view, er, cough, cough, at least that's what a friend of mine said about a 1970's adventure I, er, SHE had.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Pics or ……

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

          I second that motion.

  • Abernathy

    If your relentless social climbing only gets you some sexts from wizened old killbots and lunch with a mid-level White house aide, ur doing it wrong.

    • glesslib

      You are forgetting that honorary Korean diplomat stuff. Now THAT's when you've really arrived.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        You need to watch MASH reruns to see the value of that

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    One of the girls can dress really slutty so you know what the other girl looks like naked too.

  • e_z

    I need a comprehensive set of Venn diagrams toi figure this whole thing out.

    • Pithaughn

      It's more of a pictures on cork board with color coded yarn connecting the playas.
      See example: http://rfwordpress.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/Crime

    • Preferred Customer

      I think a comprehensive set of Venn diagrams are nearly visible in this picture, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

    • glesslib

      They intersect in area S, for sleaze.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Those girlies are short. I mean, I'm talking Tom Cruise short.

    • shelwood46

      I was surprised when I saw a pic of Petraeus and Broadwell together that she is taller than him. And I don't recall her being particularly tall.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Maybe that's why I'm nuts over them? Exactly how many millions would I need to have both of them go up on me?

  • magic_titty

    Sounds like the only one not getting any in this scandal is Holly Petraeus. We should all be grateful.

    • FlipFlopFuck

      ZOMG, I can understand the general's strategy on that one.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Damn, those are pretty nice. I'll take two, please.

    • jodyleek

      They come in twos. It's hard to choose.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        Either way you lose. Need moar booze, tooze.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      Y'awl are fucking CRAZY if you can't see the crazy radiating off those two. Srsly. I look at them and all my alarm bells go off. Wouldn't hit it unless I could *guarantee* no witnesses, i.e., the whole rest of the world was dead and gone.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Executive Mansion mess. Mmm…that sounds hot.

  • JadedPreppy

    How did these girls evade the dreaded Scoliosis screening in the 5th grade?

  • FlipFlopFuck

    "I did not share classified information with that woman!"

  • ProgressiveInga

    If they would straighten out their necks I'd consider hitting them.

    • LibertyLover

      Maybe their necks are only straight when they are horizontal.

    • Biff

      I'm trying to come up with an Asian lesbian theme/meme without sounding either racist or sexist, but of course I've failed at both.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      If you hit them, you'd probly straighten out their necks.

  • Misty Malarky

    Boobies!

  • Trannysurprise

    Does the weight of their tits pull their heads to the side?

    • An_Outhouse

      their necks are made of macaroni.

  • Aridzona

    Ricky Ricardo and TWO Loosies.

    • glesslib

      I believe you are mistaking the second one. That's Ethyl.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    two “courtesy” meals at the White House mess

    Usually that means a sammich and a cookie in a box.

    • MissTaken

      Oh I bet they got something in their box.

      • BadKitty904

        I'm guessing "some things"…

  • proudgrampa

    Gotta admit that I enjoy the casabas on those two raven-haired cuties…

    Wonkette is where I always go for soft porn.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      Probably more silicon than flesh, but those are some luscious melons, all right.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Somebody made a mess in the executive mansion.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    I went on a White House tour, too. I can haz reality show? (Come on–you know it's coming!)

    I've never seen Marco look so happy.

    • LibertyLover

      Do they know that you make snarky comments here?

    • BadKitty904

      Even his combover is hard.

  • JustPixelz

    dunno about the WH mess, but looking at Rubio's Kelley Twin sammich, I'll have what he's having.

    • LibertyLover

      Doesn't that make Rubio the other white meat?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

        He's a pig, all right.

    • Crank_Tango

      And here I thought the cuban sandwich had pickles on it.

      • Biff

        Pickles is Laura Bush's nickname, so gawd I hope not!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

          Trust you to remember! (Hugs Teh Biffster)

  • Exhausted66

    Comb over here and take a picture with Marco!

  • Botlrokit

    Their pose just screams "OMGOMG A CAMERA! TAKEMYPICTUREFIRST"

  • LibertyLover

    Comment deleted by the user because some other astute Wonketteer made the same dang observation. *shakes fist at said Wonketteer*

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      And who could *possibly* blame you?

  • owhatever

    Just another couple of socialist Agenda 21 queens snarfing up free stuff at the White House. Takers. Obama is using them as chips in the Grand Bargain, and Marco Pollo Rubio is on board with that.

  • sati_demise

    Are these women getting posture lessons from hens?
    wtf is it with all this head cocking for photos?

    • OneDollarJuana

      The second word of your phrase says it all.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      You say "head cocking" like it's a bad thing but I remember it as being fun in Jr. High.

  • Beowoof

    Gee lunch in the building next door. Well obviously close enough for Obama to work his voodoo sex charm on some girls.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Okay, first off – where did they come up with the name Kelley?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      One of them (the one on the left as you look at the pic) is married to oncological surgeon Shawn Kelley. The other's name is Khawam, not Kelley. In the interest of accuracy, they should be referred to as the Khawam twins, not the Kelley twins, but Americans seem to have difficulty with not-white names.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Thanks…..Ka Wham!….sorry….

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

          Cheeky!

      • Negropolis

        Khawam would have been changed to Kelley at Ellis Island, anyway.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

          For reasons I can't quite explain that has me LOL with an itch/cramp in the heart.

          • Negropolis

            It's funny because I only said it slightly tongue-in-cheek. In all honesty, it would have been changed to something like that. Maybe even Collum.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

            I have many friends whose parents arrived from Eastern Europe and their names were changed into something unrecognizable. I don't understand why this stuff happens. (Hugs you) Thanks for making me lol, the hell with the itch.

  • Crank_Tango

    Twinghazi Libel!!!!

    • rickmaci

      Oh Brillinate.

  • jaytingle

    Who's the lady on the right? I mean, in the photo.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      Natalie Khawam, attorney-at-law and certifiable nutbag.

  • Beowoof

    Cuddly little swamp reptiles aren't they. That gator in the middle looks like he will be showing them back to his hole in the swamp.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Are they going to do something with that hole in his back, like buttseks?

  • LibertyLover

    They certainly could open their own topless car wash, couldn't they?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    I remember the delicate surgery to get those two siamese twins unseparated at the head. It's sad that their father waited until they turned 21 to have the operation done, especially since he figured it would keep them out of trouble.

  • Redgyal

    True fact…the head tilt is a non verbal signal of subordination to whoever you are talking to.

    • PubOption

      Tilted downwards, certainly, but I'm not sure about tilted to one side. I heard that Paris Hilton started the tilt-to-the-side business, so her eyes didn't look as odd.

      • Blueb4sinrise

        Depends how far downwards they can tilt.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        This was actually started by 90210's Shannen Doherty because her eyes don't match the horizon. Perhaps she received some excessive forceps work pulling her out of her mother's vahjayjay?

    • Disassembly

      Also, the head tilt is a non-verbal signal of confusion. See, e.g., dogs.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

        Chickens, cats. They have about as much brain as any of the three, so it's a fair cop.

    • rickmaci

      They only seem to pose that way if there are men in the pic.

      • Redgyal

        And that is related to my theory how??? Hmmmm? Only around men?

  • LibertyLover

    A more important question: Who let Rubio in the White House?

    • BadKitty904

      Hmmm. Good question. He was prolly clinging to the bottom of a potted plant or something…

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

        You. Are. So. Fucking. BAD. If they find me kacked from larfing I'm pointing to you.

    • Toomush_Infer

      He was on a tour, just to see if he'd like it….he got a hot box lunch…

      • LibertyLover

        Is that what they are calling that these days? You youngs are so funny.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      He just walked in with the kitchen help, he blended easily.

  • ph7

    Vince Foster didn't commit suicide – he was smothered!

  • ElPinche

    I guess every administration has a Jeff Gannon …plus or minus four identical titays.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      We don't *know* they're identical, Pinche.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    ALT-ALT-TXT for Marco Rubio: "I'm in it to TWIN it!"

    • LibertyLover

      Ouch. That one stung a bit.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    I'll be outraged if I find out one of these hussies piloted a drone attack on an American citizen.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      They're Lebanese Christians. Much more likely to target Arabs.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Headline next week in Gallup Independent "Local Social Security Office Welcomes Former White House Aide as Assistant Manager"

  • jello_mold

    I'm concerned. They really do have something wrong with their heads, don't they?

  • LibertyLover

    "Put your head on my shoulder.
    Whisper in my ear.
    Baaaabeeey…
    Words I want to hear…"

  • LibertyLover

    I wonder if they are Geminis?

    • emmelemm

      As a Gemini, I take offense at this.

      • viennawoods13

        Moi aussi.

  • LibrarianX

    You just know that Rubio likes to be spanked.

  • southernboyman

    There's gotta be an official White House nip-slip photo for HuffPo.

  • rickmaci

    Needz moar side boob.

  • Hammiepants

    Well, it was only a matter of time…

  • BlueStateLibel

    Imagine if you were walking down the street and everyone had their head tilted like that.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Assume Tampa street

  • Eve8Apples

    We now know the answer to the question, "Where da white wimmins at?"

  • rickmaci

    Twin horny hotties + lots of boobage + no wedding rings = Big Trouble in D.C.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      One of those two is currently married to an unfortunate schlub, and the other is divorced from her ex-husband, a noted Bush toady and former official.

  • rocktonsam

    I 've already photoshopped all my family photos so now my kids heads are all tilted too.

    Thank you Tampa sluts!

    • Dumbedup

      I think I'm gonna' start tilting in my upcoming holiday photos! Why not. I may start tilting like that all day long.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

        Management is going to start worrying.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      try the "Bernie lean"

  • BadKitty904

    Honestly, what with slaughtering US ambassadors, building FEMA death camps, and boning tart-packs, when does Bamz have time to run the freekin' country???

  • fawkedifiknow

    That is a nice set of twins there. Those two women look a lot alike, too.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    I'm starting to think that this is more than just 2 sisters… Judging from the amount of shit these power-groupies have stirred up, I'm pretty sure what we are dealing with here is a clone army. They will not be satisfied until every single person in Washington D.C. texts them a topless picture.

    • BadKitty904

      "General Betrayus, years ago you served my father in the clone wars…"

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Apparently not just every "single" person.

  • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

    Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with the sisters' necks. I haven't seen one picture of them with their necks straight. Are their heads filled with cement?

    • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

      They are Republicans…

  • glamourdammerung

    Remember when the White House used to have a gay prostitute visit under a fake name and how that was not a big deal because the president was not a black Democrat?

  • Eve8Apples

    The Kelley twin bimbos did what Al Qaeda and the Taliban could not, bring down two U.S. Generals.

  • Dr. Matt

    What's up with their crooked necks? Do they have birth defects?

  • Biff

    OK, which twin is the mental one? Because crazy sex is hawt…

    • Dr. Matt

      As the current data shows, BOTH are mental. Twins + both crazy = Penthouse forum here I come/cum.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      Both, hon. Both.

      • Biff

        Hey, how ya doing? I was out of town for awhile, getting a life. Missed ya…

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

          Doing OK, Biffster! Happy to hear you're getting a life. Were pretty ladies with red hair and lots of bouncy-bouncy involved? Soon as my back's 100%, I'm getting a sex life, or so I've been promised. It's hard to have one when your back seizes up, dammit.

          • Biff

            No red hair, but lots of bouncy-bouncy, or bunga-bunga, whatever the kids are calling it these days. Take my advice–don't wait until you're 100%, it might never happen!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

            That is fucking GREAT! Terrific, dood. I r teh happy for you! Hopefully this will lead to lots MORE bunga-bunga. (Hugs the Biffster) Congratubilations.

            I gotta wait till the spasms stop at least, dammit. But I'm getting *plenty* of incentive to get back into the old bunga-bunga!

          • Biff

            Thanks, it IS pretty great. I've known her around 30 years, seen her go through a lot of shit, and she deserves a man like me. She's who I've been going to see in California, and why I'll be moving back there.Get better, I'm sure someone there needs you to!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

            That makes me so fucking happy for you. I've been waiting a long time for you to find a someone special to be happy with. Looks like you did, and it sounds like you might deserve a loving person like her too.

            I *am* getting better! We're actually going to try a short hike this weekend, if we get a little letup in this rain. Welcome back to CA, Biffster! Tell your sweet lady hello from me.

          • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

            Get a room you two, too.

  • TribecaMike

    Which one is the bobblehead? [Hint: it's a trick question]

  • HRH_Maddie

    Haha, thanks!

  • Steverino247

    Well, those crooked necks aren't from bumping their heads against a glass ceiling, that's a fact.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      More likely bumping the headboard at a No-tell Motel.

  • Cleopatriot

    What's wrong with their necks?

  • fishwharf

    In my day we had groupies. I don't recall any of them that were attracted to military officers.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      Darling, there's always been women (and men) who just get the juices spurting at the sight of a uniform. See, e.g., Jane Austen.

    • docterry6973

      They weren't attracted to me either. In case anyone was wondering.

  • TribecaMike

    This is all too obviously a ruse to deflect the media's attention from Sylvester Stallone breaking up with Brigitte Nielsen. Lap it up sheeple!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

      Who?

      • TribecaMike

        Perhaps my dentist needs to get some more recent magazines.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Weedlord BonerHitler

          Just glad to see you're doing OK, dude. If his office hasn't floated away, I could send him some back issues of Science News.

  • OldRedneck

    Well, I may be just an Old Redneck, but I gotta tell you — them's some FINE ta-ta's — I wouldn't kick either one of them out of the back of my truck!!!

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      At least not for eating crackers in the truck bed, sez the cracker

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Did their parents do something to their necks as children to make them easier to tell apart? "Jill is the one whose neck bends to the left", Natalie is the one whose neck bends to the right."

  • PlanetWingNut

    The Kelley SIsters??? which one is Veronica and which one is Velma???? And all that General's Jizz i mean Jazz.

  • An_Outhouse

    what is wrong with their heads? they're always tilted. brains too big? doubtful. maybe really weak necks.

    • LibertyLover

      Maybe they only have half a brain relegating them to half-wit status?

  • DahBoner

    This isn't anything like the good old days when "Jeff Gannon" used to visit…

  • TribecaMike

    Your flag pin won't get you into Boob Heaven anymore.

  • docterry6973

    Diplomatically inviolable? They might be violable if you ask diplomatically.

  • pdiddycornchips

    I can see Rubio offering them a position on his staff.

  • Tundra Grifter

    I think those fine young ladies took it a bit too seriously when someone told them to Get Bent.

  • Anne_Athema

    The Torticollis twins. Whoever the fuck EVER told them that was a good look?

  • rocktonsam

    Will Farrel -Chris Cattan libel!!1!!

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Is it really Rubio in the middle, not a cardboard cutout?

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      And the difference would be?

  • AddHomonym

    I'm no Rubio fan but that facial expression says, "There is no way I am not going to regret this photo!"

  • Negropolis

    Bangin' Jill Kelley, eh? I think I saw that movie.

    BTW, someone needs to tell the twins that a head tilt with a more shallow angle is more photogenetic.

  • https://www.facebook.com/preacher.hipple Preacher_Griz

    They was visiting the WH because that romney fellow asked them to measure for new curtains and such.

    btw, head tilt is hawt!! totally fappable!!!

  • blogmomme

    What is up with the way they pose in photographs? With the cocked heads- I think they are Siamese twins separated at birth

  • ttommyunger

    Shit! Is it too late to change my vote?