Pro-Life Tennessee Congressman Just Having All The Abortions So No One Else Has To

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Now you are in heaven, Baby and Other Baby DesJarlaiseRemember Scott DesJarlais? Of course you do. He is the “pro-life congressman” who whined at (one of) his (many) mistress(es) to have an abortion — while recording the telephone call in which he pressured her (with his whining)? Well, now it appears the “consistently pro-life congressman” — who just won re-election — supported his wife in having two of them! It sounds to us like maybe Tennessee could fund Planned Parenthood a little better, so as poor, uneducated people like the doctor and his wife could get on birth control instead of murdering precious babies for fun!

One of the Desjarlais’s ‘bortions occurred while she was on medications that could have had terrible consequences for either her or the baby. Most people who aren’t Santorums would have no issue with this beyond saying “oh that is sad.” But the other ‘bortion was because they were having difficulties in their relationship (i.e., they hated each other, probably because of how he was porking his patients like he was a Gingrich). That sounds to us like neither “health of the mother” nor legitimate rape! Is it possible — we are just wondering out loud! — that Scott DesJarlais, the “pro-life congressman,” has a problem with hypocrisy?

Keep ‘em coming please, Tennessee!

[ChattanoogaTFP, via PoliticalWire]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 258 comments }

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 3:47 pm

"Congressman Having All The Abortions So No One Else Has To"

Way to throw yourself on the grenade for the fellas, Desjarlais! Take one for the team!

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 3:53 pm

But he's hogging all the abortions!

Callyson November 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm

S'okay, abortions proliferate like rabbits.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 4:02 pm

They're stacked to the ceiling down at the Abortionplex!!!

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Can I customize my abortion experience? I'd like the leather stirrups, please.

AngryBlakGuy November 15, 2012 at 4:06 pm

…no fair! He is hogging all the RECREATIONAL ABORTIONS!!!!

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 4:29 pm

MO-OMM! SCOTT WON'T SHARE!

AngryBlakGuy November 15, 2012 at 4:33 pm

…Honey, share your abortions with your sister!

sullivanst November 15, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Way to throw yourself on the grenade for the fellas

Indeed, it is only fellas that could possibly be affected by these issues. This is why it is only fellas that should have any say about the law.

SayItWithWookies November 15, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Actually it sounds like he's perfectly fine with hypocrisy.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Yup. No problem at all, Trix!

oenspiek November 15, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Looks like he's training up for the Hypocrisy Olympics!

Esteev November 15, 2012 at 4:10 pm

You mean "campaigning," right?

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Well, he's a doctor, so at some point I'm sure he had to take the Hypocritic Oath.

Terry November 15, 2012 at 4:15 pm

The mark of a darn fine Republican.

BadKitty904 November 15, 2012 at 4:30 pm

"sounds like"?

MegPasadena November 15, 2012 at 4:58 pm

He has hypocrisy for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

bikerlaureate November 15, 2012 at 9:00 pm

He's got the correct Republican notion of "consistent," and that's good enough for those Kenyan-muslin-haterz in his happy district.

nounverb911 November 15, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Tennessee, it's for lovers?

smokefilledroommate November 15, 2012 at 3:58 pm

DesJarlais is for 'bortions.

sullivanst November 15, 2012 at 4:12 pm

D&CJarlais.

smokefilledroommate November 15, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Curettage sounds so French! *giggles* How exotic!

OneDollarJuana November 15, 2012 at 4:25 pm

You want fries with that (abortion)?

Esteev November 15, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Or adulterers.

MaxNeanderthal November 15, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I thought this sort of "You couldn't make this shit up" behaviour was the default standard procedure for Teneneneneneneneseee. I mean, I know it ain't "Squeal like a piggy" territory, but it's getting damn close…

MinAgain November 15, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Of pork products.

johnnymeatworth November 15, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Sounds like he's just keeping in practice so he knows what to call immoral in press conferences. No problem!

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 3:48 pm

It's like people who used to smoke cigarettes and now are vehemently anti-smoking.

NellCote71 November 15, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Not really.

Esteev November 15, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Well, I quit and start again, quit and start again. Kind of like Desjarlais and 'bortins.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Yea, but at least you take your cigarette out every so often, right?

Esteev November 15, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I have to. Thanks to this damn nanny state.

StillGoinGreen November 15, 2012 at 4:24 pm

No, it's like someone who pressures a woman he impregnates to have an abortion and then spews his ignorant, filthy fucking hatred and bile against honest, hard working people who feel it is a woman's right to choose. Yeah, just like that.

Crank_Tango November 15, 2012 at 3:49 pm

DesJarlais? WTF kinda name is that? Muslin?

OneYieldRegular November 15, 2012 at 4:05 pm

More like a sandwich condiment consisting of Dijon mustard, mayonnaise, and amniotic fluid.

Lascauxcaveman November 15, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Ha Ha!

(ewww)

Aridzona November 15, 2012 at 4:13 pm

French, obviously.

Crank_Tango November 15, 2012 at 4:36 pm

yeah, apparently it is frog, although I had never seen it before and I use frog for a living.

sullivanst November 15, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Sounds like someone drunk on 'shine slurring "desolé" to me, which makes perfect sense, because Scott is a sorry excuse for a human being.

Tequila Mockingbird November 15, 2012 at 4:15 pm

It's Europeanese for "Jabba the Hutt."

Tealiban November 15, 2012 at 5:05 pm

I believe it's Cajun for #1 Abortionplex customer

nounverb911 November 15, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Too bad Desjarlais doesn't shoot blanks like his pal Rushbo.

Lascauxcaveman November 15, 2012 at 5:05 pm

How can you tell? It's impossible to impregnate a teenage Dominican boy under any circumstances.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 3:49 pm

If you have carnal knowledge of your wife without her consent, is that legitimate or illegitimate?

MaxNeanderthal November 15, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Depends if she's asleep (or wakes up…)

OneDollarJuana November 15, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Parents could do a pretty decent job of raising their children if all they did was to point out right-wingers and say, "just don't be like that".

DustyBowlBlues November 15, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Like here in the Dust Bowl, where I got a robocall from a self-described "Xian" before the election, warning me to vote against the Supreme Court justices because they ruled the "personhood law" unconstitutional. W never know whom to vote for on the judiciary races, so the call helped the Old Man and me vote wisely.

"Hey Honey," I yelled as soon as I hung up the phone. "Vote for the Supreme Court Justices to be retained."

starfanglednut November 15, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Hey ddb! Long time no see.

Mahousu November 15, 2012 at 3:50 pm

I'm perfectly fine with DesJarlais not reproducing.

HRH_Maddie November 15, 2012 at 4:37 pm

With this kind of frequency, we may need to start a fund. Where do I contribute?

RufusTFirefly November 16, 2012 at 12:30 am

Me too, but preferably through winning a Darwin Award. You don't have to die to win, just taken out of the gene pool.

Lots of punches in the dick would probably do that.

snowpointsecret November 15, 2012 at 3:51 pm

B-But this is different! These are Jesus-approved abortions!

sullivanst November 15, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Indeed. Pro-lifers are always against abortions for any reason without exception, except for whatever reason they want an abortion.

ChillBill November 15, 2012 at 3:51 pm

"We have to abort them over here so we don't have to abort them over there."

Schmannnity November 15, 2012 at 3:51 pm

You can't drink 'shine when pregnant, dipshit.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Why not? Ain't that how yew git that way inna firs' place?

nounverb911 November 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Needs more wine coolers and tents.

Esteev November 15, 2012 at 3:58 pm

And more condoms for chris'sakes.

glasspusher November 15, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Women who are nursing or pregnant should not drink Tequila. However, women who want to become pregnant and nursing should drink Tequila!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 15, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Skoal Rebel Libel!

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 3:52 pm

"she was on medications that could have had terrible consequences for either her or the baby."

"Do not even be in the same building as this medication if you are pregnant, may become pregnant, and for goodness sakes if you are nursing."

WootInTarnation November 15, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Like, what? Heroin?

Why was she on medications that were terrible for her in the first place? Usually one ceases to take those sorts of mediations unless one is addicted to them, and not goin' to rehab no way no how until I get rid of this anti-condom-wearin', 20-other-baby-mama-havin' husband!

shelwood46 November 15, 2012 at 11:15 pm

There are shittons of medications that are perfectly, um, legitimate that can cause birth defects (Accutane is a biggie). Usually the doctor advises the woman to be careful about birth control while on them, but accidents do happen.

bobbert November 16, 2012 at 3:14 am

Also, too, things like Halcyon.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Three little DesJarlais will never be able to crawl carpeting because of Daddy.

starfanglednut November 15, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Or munch carpet, the poor little buggers.

Badonkadonkette November 15, 2012 at 3:52 pm

That sounds to us like neither “health of the mother” nor legitimate rape

But it is Tennessee, so…incest?

barto November 15, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Words fail.

Doktor Zoom November 15, 2012 at 8:10 pm

buildings crumble…

the ground opens wide…

starfanglednut November 15, 2012 at 8:35 pm

The falcon cannot hear the falconer.

Doktor Zoom November 15, 2012 at 11:41 pm

They Might Be Gi-Yeats?

FeloniousMonk November 16, 2012 at 12:02 am

There's a bad moon on the rise.

LastGasp November 15, 2012 at 3:53 pm

One of the Desjarlais’s ‘bortions occurred while she was on medications that could have had terrible consequences for either her or the baby.

No matter — as Irish law has shown us, the most important thing is to never, ever perform an abortion. The most important thing here is dogma, not health or common sense.

docterry6973 November 15, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Do the Repubs look at this horror in Ireland and imagine the next time it happens here? Two or three days in which a young mother suffers and then dies because she is not permitted to have the abortion that could save her. Do they think CNN would camp outside the hospital? Do they picture themselves justifying their years of anti-choice rhetoric while she takes her last breath? I doubt it. Republicans are all fantasy and no foresight.

SmutBoffin November 15, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I predict this guy will continue to be reelected, because Amercia.

elviouslyqueer November 15, 2012 at 4:03 pm

I predict this guy will continue to be reelected, because Amercia gerrymandered, nearly all-white, rural Tennessee.

FTFY.

SmutBoffin November 15, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Who knows? Maybe some day Democrats will be able to get a "upper waist size limit" for voting passed.

MinAgain November 15, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Boom! Got it in one.

viennawoods13 November 15, 2012 at 5:35 pm

He seriously got re-elected? For fuck's sake, Tennessee. What were you thinking?

emmelemm November 15, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Your question has answered itself.

Tennessee.

"Think"?

viennawoods13 November 15, 2012 at 5:59 pm

*Blushes* Of course. What was I thinking?

snowpointsecret November 15, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Consistently pro-life like Romney was consistently anti-health care.

editor November 15, 2012 at 3:53 pm

forget the hypocrisy–i, for one, don't mind this slutty hoebag not passing on his precious genes. someone ought to tell him, though, that unprotected sex puts him and his multiple partners at risk for contracting std's. on second thought, maybe it's the tertiary syphilis that makes him so, shall we say, erratic.

edgydrifter November 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm

These weren't "legitimate" pregnancies, or else the abortions wouldn't have worked.

Callyson November 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm

During one affair with a female patient, DesJarlais prescribed her drugs, gave her an $875 watch and bought her a plane ticket to Las Vegas, records show.

Callista Gingrich's reaction: "meh, I make that much in a day with Newt–poor dear should start charging more."

Mojopo November 15, 2012 at 5:19 pm

What are the chances he will lose his medical license? Am I just being some kind of wrong haired hippie? 'Bortions aside, because ick, he porked his patients! Surely this cannot be OK in Tennessee?

YasserArraFeck November 15, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Shaggin' someone who ain't family? That ain't natch'rul!!

glasspusher November 15, 2012 at 8:55 pm

That's awesome. So, even though she was high as a kite, she knew she got to Vegas on time.

AngryBlakGuy November 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm

…what is that old Republican saying?!

"It isn't a sin if the bitch is gonna make you pay child support!"

glasspusher November 15, 2012 at 8:57 pm

So sayeth Joe Walsh, one term congressman?

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm

while recording the telephone call in which he pressured her

You just know he video'd the conception. You just know it.

viennawoods13 November 15, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Pardon me while I retch.

horsedreamer_1 November 15, 2012 at 6:04 pm

So, you've seen his PornHub channel?

SorosBot November 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm

He's perfectly in line with the real conservative standard on abortion; it's OK for my family because we're special, but not for all those other women, who are just sluts.

widestanceromance November 15, 2012 at 4:05 pm

It's part of what makes exceptionalism so exceptional.

AngryBlakGuy November 15, 2012 at 4:16 pm

…Republican Reasoning 101:

If my jizz-bucket 16 year old daughter gets knocked up during a varsity football team train session, then she is young and naive and deserves to have as many recreational abortions as she wants(or that I force her to). But if some random stranger is raped by a psycho, then she is obviously a filthy liberal whore that was begging for it and if she gets pregnant then she deserved it!!!

glasspusher November 15, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Looks like banning high school football because of head injuries will have an effect on teen pregnancy rates as well? Time will tell.

elviouslyqueer November 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm

he was porking his patients like he was a Gingrich

Okay, it's not enough that Desjarlais is an odious scumbag motherfucker who is obviously pathologically schizoid about 'borting dem babbies. But why in the love of fuck would any woman be even remotely attracted to, or want to have sexytime, with someone who looks like an obese Uncle Fester-wannabe is beyond all comprehension.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Dude, that's what the roofies are for!

elviouslyqueer November 15, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Bah. Roofies? That's urban shit, son. DesJarlais is more likely to ply the ladeez with some fine moonshine and meth, is all I'm saying.

Jus_Wonderin November 15, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Or he clubs them then drags them by their hair to his cave. I might have the order completely wrong on those events.

starfanglednut November 15, 2012 at 8:38 pm

He loves to go out clubbing.

gullywompr November 15, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I had the same query, was told to examine the female population inside of a Walmart, and the answer would be revealed. I still haven't gotten the nerve to conduct said research.

memzilla November 15, 2012 at 5:04 pm

You can also browse by state.

Eye bleach is in Aisle 17.

SorosBot November 15, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Through abuse of his power over his patients? What I want to know too is if he's lost his medical license yet, because sleeping with patients is normally a huge no.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Last month, the state board agreed to look into it.

sullivanst November 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Rural Tennessee. I guess the ladeez are grading on a curve.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Fuck, they could probably open a ski resort on that curve.

NYNYNYjr November 16, 2012 at 2:09 am

By giving them a huge bill, and when they say they have no insurance and are broke, telling them they can pay with sex.

Negropolis November 16, 2012 at 2:38 am

I was just thinking this. How is this guy getting this much tail? Surely, I'm doing something wrong.

Q_R_DeNameland November 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm

"he was porking his patients like he was a Gingrich" …

… so that would involve pouring out a steady stream of biliousness and utter disregard for one's fellow humans (or logic, for that matter)? Talk about multi-tasking!

AlterNewt November 15, 2012 at 3:56 pm

The way I see it, somebody owes me a god damn abortion.

LibertyLover November 15, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Have you contacted Obama? I hear he's giving out free stuff.

starfanglednut November 15, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Just call the White House on your obamaphone.

docterry6973 November 15, 2012 at 8:49 pm

I don't need one. I'm not even a vagina-American. I just want one because Obama will give me one for free.

smokefilledroommate November 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm

The Jar-lays. yuck.

NYNYNYjr November 16, 2012 at 2:10 am

Close cousins to The Jar-Binks.

Esteev November 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm

DesJarlais is a the consumate Republican.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 3:59 pm

DesJarlais is a the consumating Republican.

FTFY

Negropolis November 16, 2012 at 2:39 am

Seminal, even.

EatsBabyDingos November 15, 2012 at 3:58 pm

The follow up is that this guy is a doctor who liked to doink his patients (one of whom he wrote narcotic prescriptions for and another that had to go to the Abortoplex), as well as sex with three coworkers and a pharmaceutical rep. Throw in a rent boy, and he'll hit for the cycle.

docterry6973 November 15, 2012 at 8:50 pm

I'm sure he's just being modest. He's hit for the cycle for sure.

gullywompr November 15, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Well, in Tennessee's defense, the other candidate was a Democrat, so…

UnionSpies November 15, 2012 at 4:37 pm

It keeps me up at night thinking about my TN friends who vote Republican. Normal in every other way – except their love of Ronald Reagan and that's just enough to keep them voting R. I mean, WTF?

Negropolis November 16, 2012 at 2:40 am

Comment of the Thread.

SayItWithWookies November 15, 2012 at 3:59 pm

"The couple's 2001 trial transcript "also confirms DesJarlais had sexual relationships with at least two patients, three coworkers and a drug representative."

Wow — fucking your patients and a pharmaceutical salesman — now that's a profitable conflict of interest right there. With a mind like his, Dr. Desjarlais should be working in the defense industry.

NYNYNYjr November 16, 2012 at 2:13 am

And then his wife called him out on it, he told her she was insane, prescribed her serious psychoactive drugs and sedatives, which got in free samples from his drug rep floozy, when his wife got pregnant he realized the drugs were too dangerous for a developing fetus and told her to get an abortion.

SmutBoffin November 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm

When will we get Wonkett coverage of the OTHER doofus we will never have to listen to or hear about again, post-election?

Ron "ReLOVEushun" Paul?

gullywompr November 15, 2012 at 4:06 pm

You think that's the last you'll hear about Ron Paul?

Boffin please…

sullivanst November 15, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Well, he is older than Methuselah, so there's that.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 15, 2012 at 4:22 pm

So is most of the Republican Party. Doesn't stop them.

gullywompr November 15, 2012 at 4:25 pm

See: Breitbart, Andrew

sullivanst November 15, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Actually, nine of the sixteen 112th Congresscritters older than Paul are Dems. Although, looking at the pictures on Wikipedia's list, you'd think the Republicans were at least 40 years older than the Dems. Apparently soaking in your own bile for a lifetime isn't the best way to preserve one's looks.

elviouslyqueer November 15, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Blimp, meet dustbin of history.

Bodeburu November 16, 2012 at 6:17 am

As Ron said to Rand, admiring the recently erected "Giant Going Out of Business Sale!" sign, "It's all yours now, son!!"

Sue4466 November 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm

hmmm, one would almost think that it's not about fetuses at all, but controlling women and the poors.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 4:01 pm

"The couple's 2001 trial transcript "also confirms DesJarlais had sexual relationships with at least two patients, three coworkers…"

♫ …and a partridge in a pear tree ♪

Esteev November 15, 2012 at 4:02 pm

…and at least one barnyard animal.*

*Not intended to be a factual statement but certainly possible.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Do they have Piggly Wiggly's where he lives?
http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2012/11/teabilly-h

Esteev November 15, 2012 at 4:31 pm

No wonder Florida is a tourist destination.

FeloniousMonk November 15, 2012 at 4:42 pm

He's spoilt for choice: there's 37 in Tennessee. I don't understand this prejudice against Piggly Wiggly, though — my local one used to carry Marmite and Colman's English mustard. I suspected another expatriate Brit as manager, but never confirmed it.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 4:48 pm

What, no spotted dick?

Jus_Wonderin November 15, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Marmite? It was cute, but I had to give it up when it bit one of the kids. Sad story.

viennawoods13 November 15, 2012 at 5:40 pm

For, me Piggly Wiggly will always be the establishment that Delmar O'Donnell robbed.

FeloniousMonk November 15, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Sadly, there is no Piggly Wiggly in Yazoo City anymore. Gone the way of the drive-in theater and the Chicken Ranch, I expect. Oh, America, why do you discard your past so wantonly?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 15, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Santorum was right?!?

ChrisM2011 November 15, 2012 at 4:01 pm

The man has cornered the market on tiny death panels.

snowpointsecret November 15, 2012 at 4:01 pm

This man won 56% to 44% after the first scandal? Sounds like that district is more anti-liberal than anti-abortion. Basically Bill O'Reilly's pet minions.

PugglesRule November 15, 2012 at 5:21 pm

It sounds like the district is mostly pro-crazy.

weejee November 15, 2012 at 4:02 pm

With all of our English wizzes does hypocrisy come from:

  hypoChristie; too much with the Jebus,  or
  hypocrispy; too much with deep-fried pork rinds ?

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 4:10 pm

hypoChristie

I think you misspelled HippoChristie

weejee November 15, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Oh, the Gov who is too much with the Crispy Cremes.

Esteev November 15, 2012 at 4:48 pm

He gets paid in glaze.

Goonemeritus November 15, 2012 at 4:04 pm

One more abortion and he gets the fifth one free.

Jus_Wonderin November 15, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Damn, I lost my Abortion Card. I have to start all over with the hole punching.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 4:19 pm

The hole punching is probably part of the problem.

kittensdontlie November 15, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Aren't all O'bortions free with the reciept of an Obamaphone??

mrblifil November 15, 2012 at 4:04 pm

"This placental after-birth is making me throw up!"

"And such small portions!"

StillGoinGreen November 15, 2012 at 4:05 pm

In defense of Desjarlais, he has yet to have an abortion. It's all those liberal whores that throw themselves at a good, God fearin' christian man that keep gettin' all the abortions! GODDAMNED NEW DEMOGRAPHY! And Messcans. Also.

LibertyLover November 15, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Is it possible — we are just wondering out loud! — that Scott DesJarlais, the “pro-life congressman,” has a problem with hypocrisy?

Sounds like to me that he is willing to do or say just about anything to get re-elected. Including lie. Seems to be a common theme with the Regressive party. Beginning with their former leader Willard Mitt Romney.

YouBetcha November 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm

You want to be like Florida, Tennessee? Is that your deal? Dumbass voters.

LibertyLover November 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Sounds like he will be passing a bill for the capital improvement of installing a revolving door at the local abortionplex.

Blueb4sinrise November 15, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Also fucked one of the Kelly sisters, who had to fly to Afghanistan to have her abortion, performed by Petreaus.

NYNYNYjr November 16, 2012 at 2:16 am

You mean the Ka-Wham! sisters. Only one has married name of Kelly, their maiden names are Ka-Wham!

Nostrildamus November 15, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Typical 1%. Grabs all the good abortions so we have to settle for seconds.

Designer_Rants November 15, 2012 at 5:25 pm

#OccupyAbortionplex

emmelemm November 15, 2012 at 5:58 pm

He's always trying to cut in line, amirite? Asshole.

MissTaken November 15, 2012 at 4:12 pm

GOP Platform:

Do as I say, don't do as I do

weejee November 15, 2012 at 4:19 pm

do wah ditty do

Nostrildamus November 15, 2012 at 4:24 pm

do wacka do

(emphasis on the wack)

SorosBot November 15, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Scooby dooby doo, where are you?

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Shooby dooby doo
(with weird penguin)

JustPixelz November 15, 2012 at 4:32 pm

IOKIYAR is the law of the land.

neiltheblaze November 15, 2012 at 4:13 pm

He doesn't seem to have any trouble with hypocrisy at all. He's marinating in it.

JustPixelz November 15, 2012 at 4:33 pm

with a nice chianti and some fava beans. And with delicious succulent votes.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Dude needs to buy some condoms. Or self-vasectomize; he's a doctor, after all.

glasspusher November 15, 2012 at 9:07 pm

No joke. Lidocaine, snip snip. Nothing to it. I've heard the definition of macho is jogging home from your vasectomy.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 11:31 pm

And then banging your wife when you arrive.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Mebbe the abortionplex was having a buy 2, get 1 free sale?

HRH_Maddie November 15, 2012 at 4:18 pm

OMG, DesJarlais! We get it, you're fertile.

Esteev November 15, 2012 at 4:33 pm
BadKitty904 November 15, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Repulsively so.

Estproph November 15, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Does he have a problem with hypocrisy? Let's find out:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_DesJarlais

Scott Eugene DesJarlais[1] (born February 21, 1964)[2] (play /ˈdeɪʒɑːrleɪ/) is an American physician currently serving as U.S. Representative for Tennessee's 4th congressional district after winning re-election to a second term on November 6, 2012.[3] He is a member of the Republican Party."

Yes.

weejee November 15, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Didn't the Cream have an album DesJarlais Gears with a track "We're Going Wrong"?

Blueb4sinrise November 15, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Okay, so there's two of us that know that ref.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Also, Mother's Lament and Strange Screw (kills what's inside of you).

sullivanst November 15, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Strange Brew libel!

weejee November 15, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Good point Blueb4. I sometimes forget that not all the Wonkette posters enjoyed a halcyon childhood when Coolidge was in the White House.

Blueb4sinrise November 15, 2012 at 4:54 pm

According to YT comments, most 14 y.o. long for those oldies.
Those that don't……..I blame the school systems.

starfanglednut November 15, 2012 at 8:47 pm

He's got outside women blues, fer sure.

Estproph November 15, 2012 at 4:19 pm

BTW check out his picture. He looks like a thumb.

PugglesRule November 15, 2012 at 5:24 pm

If we drew a mustache and some hair on him, he could be a thumb puppet!

Doktor Zoom November 15, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Kind of goes without saving that I have to link to this, again:

The Only Moral Abortion is MY Abortion: When the Anti-Choice Choose

(One nice thing about not being Christian? I don't even have to put up a pretense of loving these hypocrites)

LibertyLover November 15, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Thanks for posting this again. I finally bookmarked it.

Defeatably_Joe November 15, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Honestly, Christians don't really need to either. Most of the choice nastiness that street evangelists like to toss out about fire and brimstone and whatnot are actually passages dedicated to what Jeebus (and/or Paul) think about Christian hypocrites.

Spoiler: nothing good.

Jus_Wonderin November 15, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Oh my!

elviouslyqueer November 15, 2012 at 4:58 pm

That is some serious torqued logic those women try to use. It's sad, really, if it weren't so damn scary.

PugglesRule November 15, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Always, abortion for me and not for thee.

LibertyLover November 15, 2012 at 6:27 pm

I was not surprised by the gender gap in the elections this year. Republicans get abortions too, they just hide it better.

glasspusher November 15, 2012 at 9:16 pm

They have to hide it…

ChrisM2011 November 15, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I'm sure the Pro-Life movement in Tenn is in shock! Any minute now they'll rush the streets demanding that he steps down.

……..

Yep! Any minute now. *checks watch*

………

Well it was close to lunch. As soon as their food digests, I'm sure they'll be loudly demanding that this hypocrite remove himself from office. Any minute now!

glasspusher November 15, 2012 at 9:17 pm

I'm sure it's a fine watch, even if someone didn't pay $875 for it…

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 15, 2012 at 4:27 pm

What is wrong with you people!?! Don't you realize that life is a precious, beautiful thing that begins at conception, unless it is your mistress or wife that is involved, in which case, fuck it, vacuum those cells out of there.

Defeatably_Joe November 15, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I am actually somewhat more peeved that this guy is inexplicably still lisenced.

MissTaken November 15, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Change.org has a petition demanding his license get revoked. Sign up!
http://www.change.org/petitions/tennessee-board-o

Defeatably_Joe November 15, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I mean, FFS. The "no sexing patients" rule is so old it's in the original Hippocratic oath. And the ancient Greeks wrote that, and we all know how much they loved the sexing, so for them to have written that rule, you know it's Serious Business.

docterry6973 November 15, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Medical justice is like military justice, only worse.

SorosBot November 15, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Yay!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 15, 2012 at 4:32 pm

This is so unfair to Desjarlais, as a women's body knows when it is having sex with a legitimate asshole hypocrite, and will shut down to prevent pregnancy. So, clearly, someone else is to blame for knocking them up.

YerMa November 15, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Calling dibs on "Desjarlais’s ‘bortions" username.

With that image.

Barrelhse November 15, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Two words, Scott. "Douche", "bag".

BadKitty904 November 15, 2012 at 4:37 pm

So. Asking as a legally-sanctioned (my state doesn't allow gays to marry) "outsider" – is this yet another example of the typical "traditional marriage" that the Wingnuts are so vociferously and illegally fighting to preserve?

TribecaMike November 15, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this isn't the usual way to audition for the Secretary of State gig.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I found this interesting comment over at HuffnPuff.

"The DesJarlais situation, while disheartening, is NOT the scandal some are trying to make of it. Unlike the SPs (secular progressives) who are trying to taint him with this bloody brush, Scott knows that waht he has done was wrong and he has asked for our Divine Lord's forgiveness. He has pledged to atone for it by fighting abortion on the land, on the sea and in the air. We should join Scott DesJarlais in that noble fight."

I like the multi-locale battleground. I think my old 60's GI Joe came at me with ads that proclaimed "GI Joe, fighting man from head to toe, on the land, in the sea, in the air."

Plus, the guy said "taint."

MissTaken November 15, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Shorter: His wife's abortions were okay because he felt bad afterwards. Your abortion is bad because you're a dirty slut for getting an abortion.

SubhumanVarmint November 15, 2012 at 5:05 pm

What is he, an Abortion Marine? Jesus.

viennawoods13 November 15, 2012 at 5:45 pm

It is comments like that which made me abandon HuffPo.

emmelemm November 15, 2012 at 6:02 pm

He knows what he's done wrong. And yet he did it THREE TIMES.

docterry6973 November 15, 2012 at 9:11 pm

So women can have abortion on demand so long as they say that they asked God to forgive them. Better than a forced ultrasound, I guess.

shelwood46 November 16, 2012 at 12:23 am

This is exciting. I'm flying to New Orleans next month, and I was not aware that they now have inflight abortions. That's ala carte, right?

Defeatably_Joe November 15, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Scott DeJarlais swapped his Hippocratic oath for the Hypocritic oath when nobody was paying attention.

Designer_Rants November 15, 2012 at 4:43 pm

It's only murder when liberals do it.

glasspusher November 15, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Liberals' blastocysts/embryos/feti are more human? Interesting…

Blunderthing November 15, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Access to safe abortions aren't for "little people". However would our houses get clean?

Sir_Fartz_Alot November 15, 2012 at 4:54 pm

ABORT!!!ABORT!!!!ABORT!@!@!@

azeyote November 15, 2012 at 4:55 pm

hell fuckin o – the reason to have an abortion is to not have any more of you.

Ground Zero Mostel November 15, 2012 at 4:58 pm

That's why we need to make it illegal, sillies. It's the only way to stop everybody from having abortions. Same philosophy as with homosexuality. If all marriages were equal, all the boys would marry boys and the species would die out.

SubhumanVarmint November 15, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Please! All pro-lifers are hypocrites. Nothing new to see here, folks!!

Steverino247 November 15, 2012 at 5:02 pm
viennawoods13 November 15, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Heck, someone posted last Monday . Love them all.

starfanglednut November 15, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Look! We can make our own.
http://downfall.jfedor.org/

proudgrampa November 15, 2012 at 5:06 pm

If abortions are outlawed, only outlaws will get abortions.

Wait. What?

MissTaken November 15, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Gawd people, quit whining! Her abortions were necessary because she's a blonde white woman. Get over it!

ph7 November 15, 2012 at 5:14 pm

He's got 99 problems. And bitches are a fair number of them.

smellypossum November 15, 2012 at 5:29 pm

FFS.

This really is not the republican party of my parent's generation where Dick Nixon did quaint things like order a felony break-in. Being a rethuglican now requires you to be, as a basic prerequisite, a lying, philandering, racist misogynist shitstain. And you have to want to tell people how to live their lives, but have a separate special standard for yourself. Pro-life, let's go to war. I love jeebus, but let's torture and kill fer 'Merika. Messicans GTFO, but weed my flower garden before you go.

I'll bet there's an oath and a secret handshake. And for some there's secret underwear also too (the fetching mormoform).

sundaytrucker November 15, 2012 at 5:49 pm

I thought a "Tennessee abortion" was when you throw her down a flight of stairs..No??

Negropolis November 16, 2012 at 2:50 am

I thought a "Tennessee abortion" was when you ply the pregnant woman with copious amounts of Jack Daniel's?

MinAgain November 15, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Just remember, folks. Less than 20% of Tennesseans have a college degree. We have lots of colleges, just not that many college-educated citizens. But, boy howdy, do we have the guns and the churches.

Butch_Wagstaff November 15, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Of the people I know who went to college in TN (including former classmates), nearly all moved the hell out of the state as soon as they could.

TribecaMike November 15, 2012 at 6:10 pm

The Santorum family's favorite reggae song: "Pass the dead baby on the left hand side."

bloggingbalkanistan November 15, 2012 at 6:14 pm

All of your abortions belong to me

glasspusher November 15, 2012 at 9:28 pm

"are"

DustyBowlBlues November 15, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Would I have a sweet deal with a Republican congressman if I'd only had one more abortion? Shit. Who knew?

bloggingbalkanistan November 15, 2012 at 6:54 pm

When are we going to find out about his inevitable gay love affair? Before or after the holidays?

decentcitizen November 15, 2012 at 6:56 pm

What, does this asshole get a volume discount?

glesslib November 15, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Before abortion was legal in this country, hospitals had tissue committees to check on doctors who did d & c procedures on patients. Some of these guys faked the abortion for friends as d &cs. Most were given two questionable results that showed that it was an abortion instead. On the thrid they lost their hospital priveleges. One doctor joked that they got those two because one covered a daughter, the other a girlfriend.

Nice to know that nothing much has changed in the decades sinc abortion became legal. Same old hypocrites out there doing the same old shit.

ttommyunger November 15, 2012 at 8:42 pm

I'm wondering, does being named Scott make you into a douche, or do parents somehow know a kid is going to go bad and then name him Scott to give fair warning to the world? I'm talking to you, Mass, FL, Wis, TN.

starfanglednut November 15, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Works as a last name too. See Florida.

ttommyunger November 15, 2012 at 9:19 pm

I covered FL.

Negropolis November 16, 2012 at 2:52 am

You left out Michigan where family values Republican state rep Paul Scott was recalled for banging a woman on his staff outside of wedlock, and then trying to pay her to be quiet and let her go (with a recommendation) when she started showing with his little bastard in her.

ttommyunger November 16, 2012 at 7:57 am

You are, indeed, on top of things, heh, heh.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

glamourdammerung November 15, 2012 at 8:42 pm

I was wondering if he can vote or own a gun considering his multiple acts of domestic violence.

glasspusher November 15, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Also had an affair with a drug representative? Wow, that brings back memories of a woman who lived in my apt complex when I was in grad school, total hottie, drug company saleswoman- she was always leaving a satin thong or two in the dryer in the laundry room. I bet the MDs she visited (or at least the ones interested in women) prescribed anything she told them to. She seemed very nice,too.

NYNYNYjr November 16, 2012 at 2:27 am

"…DesJarlais testified he carried on a four-month sexual affair with another patient and prescribed pills for her during their relationship. He stressed there was "nothing wrong" with the prescriptions he wrote, which included the painkiller Darvocet, and was indignant when asked about claims he had handled medication improperly.

"I don't feel real obligated to respond to that. I think it's ludicrous," he said. "I've never been challenged or questioned in terms of my integrity before.""

Negropolis November 16, 2012 at 2:28 am

You know what? Had this been released beofre the election….he would have still won.

BTW, found out this guy was born and raised in South Dakota, so we can't even blame TN entirely for this stooge.

DahBoner November 16, 2012 at 7:42 am

Safe sex in Tennessee is when they put signs on all the animals that kick…

Lascauxcaveman November 15, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I hope at least you're not one of those annoying mooches that is always bumming abortions off their friends.

"I'm trying to quit, y'know."

Esteev November 15, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Nah, I steal 'em like Obama does to a job creator.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: