has a standing reservation at the abortionplex

Pro-Life Tennessee Congressman Just Having All The Abortions So No One Else Has To

Now you are in heaven, Baby and Other Baby DesJarlaiseRemember Scott DesJarlais? Of course you do. He is the “pro-life congressman” who whined at (one of) his (many) mistress(es) to have an abortion — while recording the telephone call in which he pressured her (with his whining)? Well, now it appears the “consistently pro-life congressman” — who just won re-election — supported his wife in having two of them! It sounds to us like maybe Tennessee could fund Planned Parenthood a little better, so as poor, uneducated people like the doctor and his wife could get on birth control instead of murdering precious babies for fun!

One of the Desjarlais’s ‘bortions occurred while she was on medications that could have had terrible consequences for either her or the baby. Most people who aren’t Santorums would have no issue with this beyond saying “oh that is sad.” But the other ‘bortion was because they were having difficulties in their relationship (i.e., they hated each other, probably because of how he was porking his patients like he was a Gingrich). That sounds to us like neither “health of the mother” nor legitimate rape! Is it possible — we are just wondering out loud! — that Scott DesJarlais, the “pro-life congressman,” has a problem with hypocrisy?

Keep ‘em coming please, Tennessee!

[ChattanoogaTFP, via PoliticalWire]

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  1. BaldarTFlagass

    "Congressman Having All The Abortions So No One Else Has To"

    Way to throw yourself on the grenade for the fellas, Desjarlais! Take one for the team!

    1. sullivanst

      Way to throw yourself on the grenade for the fellas

      Indeed, it is only fellas that could possibly be affected by these issues. This is why it is only fellas that should have any say about the law.

    1. bikerlaureate

      He's got the correct Republican notion of "consistent," and that's good enough for those Kenyan-muslin-haterz in his happy district.

    1. MaxNeanderthal

      I thought this sort of "You couldn't make this shit up" behaviour was the default standard procedure for Teneneneneneneneseee. I mean, I know it ain't "Squeal like a piggy" territory, but it's getting damn close…

  2. johnnymeatworth

    Sounds like he's just keeping in practice so he knows what to call immoral in press conferences. No problem!

          1. Lascauxcaveman

            I hope at least you're not one of those annoying mooches that is always bumming abortions off their friends.

            "I'm trying to quit, y'know."

    1. StillGoinGreen

      No, it's like someone who pressures a woman he impregnates to have an abortion and then spews his ignorant, filthy fucking hatred and bile against honest, hard working people who feel it is a woman's right to choose. Yeah, just like that.

        1. sullivanst

          Sounds like someone drunk on 'shine slurring "desolé" to me, which makes perfect sense, because Scott is a sorry excuse for a human being.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      How can you tell? It's impossible to impregnate a teenage Dominican boy under any circumstances.

  3. BaldarTFlagass

    If you have carnal knowledge of your wife without her consent, is that legitimate or illegitimate?

  4. OneDollarJuana

    Parents could do a pretty decent job of raising their children if all they did was to point out right-wingers and say, "just don't be like that".

    1. DustyBowlBlues

      Like here in the Dust Bowl, where I got a robocall from a self-described "Xian" before the election, warning me to vote against the Supreme Court justices because they ruled the "personhood law" unconstitutional. W never know whom to vote for on the judiciary races, so the call helped the Old Man and me vote wisely.

      "Hey Honey," I yelled as soon as I hung up the phone. "Vote for the Supreme Court Justices to be retained."

    1. RufusTFirefly

      Me too, but preferably through winning a Darwin Award. You don't have to die to win, just taken out of the gene pool.

      Lots of punches in the dick would probably do that.

    1. sullivanst

      Indeed. Pro-lifers are always against abortions for any reason without exception, except for whatever reason they want an abortion.

      1. glasspusher

        Women who are nursing or pregnant should not drink Tequila. However, women who want to become pregnant and nursing should drink Tequila!

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    "she was on medications that could have had terrible consequences for either her or the baby."

    "Do not even be in the same building as this medication if you are pregnant, may become pregnant, and for goodness sakes if you are nursing."

    1. WootInTarnation

      Like, what? Heroin?

      Why was she on medications that were terrible for her in the first place? Usually one ceases to take those sorts of mediations unless one is addicted to them, and not goin' to rehab no way no how until I get rid of this anti-condom-wearin', 20-other-baby-mama-havin' husband!

      1. shelwood46

        There are shittons of medications that are perfectly, um, legitimate that can cause birth defects (Accutane is a biggie). Usually the doctor advises the woman to be careful about birth control while on them, but accidents do happen.

  6. Badonkadonkette

    That sounds to us like neither “health of the mother” nor legitimate rape

    But it is Tennessee, so…incest?

  7. LastGasp

    One of the Desjarlais’s ‘bortions occurred while she was on medications that could have had terrible consequences for either her or the baby.

    No matter — as Irish law has shown us, the most important thing is to never, ever perform an abortion. The most important thing here is dogma, not health or common sense.

    1. docterry6973

      Do the Repubs look at this horror in Ireland and imagine the next time it happens here? Two or three days in which a young mother suffers and then dies because she is not permitted to have the abortion that could save her. Do they think CNN would camp outside the hospital? Do they picture themselves justifying their years of anti-choice rhetoric while she takes her last breath? I doubt it. Republicans are all fantasy and no foresight.

      1. SmutBoffin

        Who knows? Maybe some day Democrats will be able to get a "upper waist size limit" for voting passed.

  8. editor

    forget the hypocrisy–i, for one, don't mind this slutty hoebag not passing on his precious genes. someone ought to tell him, though, that unprotected sex puts him and his multiple partners at risk for contracting std's. on second thought, maybe it's the tertiary syphilis that makes him so, shall we say, erratic.

  9. Callyson

    During one affair with a female patient, DesJarlais prescribed her drugs, gave her an $875 watch and bought her a plane ticket to Las Vegas, records show.

    Callista Gingrich's reaction: "meh, I make that much in a day with Newt–poor dear should start charging more."

    1. Mojopo

      What are the chances he will lose his medical license? Am I just being some kind of wrong haired hippie? 'Bortions aside, because ick, he porked his patients! Surely this cannot be OK in Tennessee?

  10. AngryBlakGuy

    …what is that old Republican saying?!

    "It isn't a sin if the bitch is gonna make you pay child support!"

  11. SorosBot

    He's perfectly in line with the real conservative standard on abortion; it's OK for my family because we're special, but not for all those other women, who are just sluts.

    1. AngryBlakGuy

      …Republican Reasoning 101:

      If my jizz-bucket 16 year old daughter gets knocked up during a varsity football team train session, then she is young and naive and deserves to have as many recreational abortions as she wants(or that I force her to). But if some random stranger is raped by a psycho, then she is obviously a filthy liberal whore that was begging for it and if she gets pregnant then she deserved it!!!

      1. glasspusher

        Looks like banning high school football because of head injuries will have an effect on teen pregnancy rates as well? Time will tell.

  12. elviouslyqueer

    he was porking his patients like he was a Gingrich

    Okay, it's not enough that Desjarlais is an odious scumbag motherfucker who is obviously pathologically schizoid about 'borting dem babbies. But why in the love of fuck would any woman be even remotely attracted to, or want to have sexytime, with someone who looks like an obese Uncle Fester-wannabe is beyond all comprehension.

      1. elviouslyqueer

        Bah. Roofies? That's urban shit, son. DesJarlais is more likely to ply the ladeez with some fine moonshine and meth, is all I'm saying.

        1. Jus_Wonderin

          Or he clubs them then drags them by their hair to his cave. I might have the order completely wrong on those events.

    1. gullywompr

      I had the same query, was told to examine the female population inside of a Walmart, and the answer would be revealed. I still haven't gotten the nerve to conduct said research.

    2. SorosBot

      Through abuse of his power over his patients? What I want to know too is if he's lost his medical license yet, because sleeping with patients is normally a huge no.

    3. NYNYNYjr

      By giving them a huge bill, and when they say they have no insurance and are broke, telling them they can pay with sex.

    4. Negropolis

      I was just thinking this. How is this guy getting this much tail? Surely, I'm doing something wrong.

  13. Q_R_DeNameland

    "he was porking his patients like he was a Gingrich" …

    … so that would involve pouring out a steady stream of biliousness and utter disregard for one's fellow humans (or logic, for that matter)? Talk about multi-tasking!

        1. docterry6973

          I don't need one. I'm not even a vagina-American. I just want one because Obama will give me one for free.

  14. EatsBabyDingos

    The follow up is that this guy is a doctor who liked to doink his patients (one of whom he wrote narcotic prescriptions for and another that had to go to the Abortoplex), as well as sex with three coworkers and a pharmaceutical rep. Throw in a rent boy, and he'll hit for the cycle.

    1. UnionSpies

      It keeps me up at night thinking about my TN friends who vote Republican. Normal in every other way – except their love of Ronald Reagan and that's just enough to keep them voting R. I mean, WTF?

  15. SayItWithWookies

    "The couple's 2001 trial transcript "also confirms DesJarlais had sexual relationships with at least two patients, three coworkers and a drug representative."

    Wow — fucking your patients and a pharmaceutical salesman — now that's a profitable conflict of interest right there. With a mind like his, Dr. Desjarlais should be working in the defense industry.

    1. NYNYNYjr

      And then his wife called him out on it, he told her she was insane, prescribed her serious psychoactive drugs and sedatives, which got in free samples from his drug rep floozy, when his wife got pregnant he realized the drugs were too dangerous for a developing fetus and told her to get an abortion.

          1. sullivanst

            Actually, nine of the sixteen 112th Congresscritters older than Paul are Dems. Although, looking at the pictures on Wikipedia's list, you'd think the Republicans were at least 40 years older than the Dems. Apparently soaking in your own bile for a lifetime isn't the best way to preserve one's looks.

    1. Bodeburu

      As Ron said to Rand, admiring the recently erected "Giant Going Out of Business Sale!" sign, "It's all yours now, son!!"

  16. actor212

    "The couple's 2001 trial transcript "also confirms DesJarlais had sexual relationships with at least two patients, three coworkers…"

    ♫ …and a partridge in a pear tree ♪

        1. FeloniousMonk

          He's spoilt for choice: there's 37 in Tennessee. I don't understand this prejudice against Piggly Wiggly, though — my local one used to carry Marmite and Colman's English mustard. I suspected another expatriate Brit as manager, but never confirmed it.

          1. FeloniousMonk

            Sadly, there is no Piggly Wiggly in Yazoo City anymore. Gone the way of the drive-in theater and the Chicken Ranch, I expect. Oh, America, why do you discard your past so wantonly?

  17. snowpointsecret

    This man won 56% to 44% after the first scandal? Sounds like that district is more anti-liberal than anti-abortion. Basically Bill O'Reilly's pet minions.

  18. weejee

    With all of our English wizzes does hypocrisy come from:

      hypoChristie; too much with the Jebus,  or
      hypocrispy; too much with deep-fried pork rinds ?

  19. StillGoinGreen

    In defense of Desjarlais, he has yet to have an abortion. It's all those liberal whores that throw themselves at a good, God fearin' christian man that keep gettin' all the abortions! GODDAMNED NEW DEMOGRAPHY! And Messcans. Also.

  20. LibertyLover

    Is it possible — we are just wondering out loud! — that Scott DesJarlais, the “pro-life congressman,” has a problem with hypocrisy?

    Sounds like to me that he is willing to do or say just about anything to get re-elected. Including lie. Seems to be a common theme with the Regressive party. Beginning with their former leader Willard Mitt Romney.

  21. LibertyLover

    Sounds like he will be passing a bill for the capital improvement of installing a revolving door at the local abortionplex.

  22. Blueb4sinrise

    Also fucked one of the Kelly sisters, who had to fly to Afghanistan to have her abortion, performed by Petreaus.

    1. glasspusher

      No joke. Lidocaine, snip snip. Nothing to it. I've heard the definition of macho is jogging home from your vasectomy.

  23. Estproph

    Does he have a problem with hypocrisy? Let's find out:

    Scott Eugene DesJarlais[1] (born February 21, 1964)[2] (play /ˈdeɪʒɑːrleɪ/) is an American physician currently serving as U.S. Representative for Tennessee's 4th congressional district after winning re-election to a second term on November 6, 2012.[3] He is a member of the Republican Party."


      1. weejee

        Good point Blueb4. I sometimes forget that not all the Wonkette posters enjoyed a halcyon childhood when Coolidge was in the White House.

        1. Blueb4sinrise

          According to YT comments, most 14 y.o. long for those oldies.
          Those that don't……..I blame the school systems.

    1. Defeatably_Joe

      Honestly, Christians don't really need to either. Most of the choice nastiness that street evangelists like to toss out about fire and brimstone and whatnot are actually passages dedicated to what Jeebus (and/or Paul) think about Christian hypocrites.

      Spoiler: nothing good.

    2. elviouslyqueer

      That is some serious torqued logic those women try to use. It's sad, really, if it weren't so damn scary.

    3. LibertyLover

      I was not surprised by the gender gap in the elections this year. Republicans get abortions too, they just hide it better.

  24. ChrisM2011

    I'm sure the Pro-Life movement in Tenn is in shock! Any minute now they'll rush the streets demanding that he steps down.


    Yep! Any minute now. *checks watch*


    Well it was close to lunch. As soon as their food digests, I'm sure they'll be loudly demanding that this hypocrite remove himself from office. Any minute now!

  25. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    What is wrong with you people!?! Don't you realize that life is a precious, beautiful thing that begins at conception, unless it is your mistress or wife that is involved, in which case, fuck it, vacuum those cells out of there.

      1. Defeatably_Joe

        I mean, FFS. The "no sexing patients" rule is so old it's in the original Hippocratic oath. And the ancient Greeks wrote that, and we all know how much they loved the sexing, so for them to have written that rule, you know it's Serious Business.

  26. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    This is so unfair to Desjarlais, as a women's body knows when it is having sex with a legitimate asshole hypocrite, and will shut down to prevent pregnancy. So, clearly, someone else is to blame for knocking them up.

  27. BadKitty904

    So. Asking as a legally-sanctioned (my state doesn't allow gays to marry) "outsider" – is this yet another example of the typical "traditional marriage" that the Wingnuts are so vociferously and illegally fighting to preserve?

  28. BaldarTFlagass

    I found this interesting comment over at HuffnPuff.

    "The DesJarlais situation, while disheartening, is NOT the scandal some are trying to make of it. Unlike the SPs (secular progressives) who are trying to taint him with this bloody brush, Scott knows that waht he has done was wrong and he has asked for our Divine Lord's forgiveness. He has pledged to atone for it by fighting abortion on the land, on the sea and in the air. We should join Scott DesJarlais in that noble fight."

    I like the multi-locale battleground. I think my old 60's GI Joe came at me with ads that proclaimed "GI Joe, fighting man from head to toe, on the land, in the sea, in the air."

    Plus, the guy said "taint."

    1. MissTaken

      Shorter: His wife's abortions were okay because he felt bad afterwards. Your abortion is bad because you're a dirty slut for getting an abortion.

    2. docterry6973

      So women can have abortion on demand so long as they say that they asked God to forgive them. Better than a forced ultrasound, I guess.

    3. shelwood46

      This is exciting. I'm flying to New Orleans next month, and I was not aware that they now have inflight abortions. That's ala carte, right?

  29. Ground Zero Mostel

    That's why we need to make it illegal, sillies. It's the only way to stop everybody from having abortions. Same philosophy as with homosexuality. If all marriages were equal, all the boys would marry boys and the species would die out.

  30. MissTaken

    Gawd people, quit whining! Her abortions were necessary because she's a blonde white woman. Get over it!

  31. smellypossum


    This really is not the republican party of my parent's generation where Dick Nixon did quaint things like order a felony break-in. Being a rethuglican now requires you to be, as a basic prerequisite, a lying, philandering, racist misogynist shitstain. And you have to want to tell people how to live their lives, but have a separate special standard for yourself. Pro-life, let's go to war. I love jeebus, but let's torture and kill fer 'Merika. Messicans GTFO, but weed my flower garden before you go.

    I'll bet there's an oath and a secret handshake. And for some there's secret underwear also too (the fetching mormoform).

    1. Negropolis

      I thought a "Tennessee abortion" was when you ply the pregnant woman with copious amounts of Jack Daniel's?

  32. MinAgain

    Just remember, folks. Less than 20% of Tennesseans have a college degree. We have lots of colleges, just not that many college-educated citizens. But, boy howdy, do we have the guns and the churches.

    1. Butch_Wagstaff

      Of the people I know who went to college in TN (including former classmates), nearly all moved the hell out of the state as soon as they could.

  33. DustyBowlBlues

    Would I have a sweet deal with a Republican congressman if I'd only had one more abortion? Shit. Who knew?

  34. bloggingbalkanistan

    When are we going to find out about his inevitable gay love affair? Before or after the holidays?

  35. glesslib

    Before abortion was legal in this country, hospitals had tissue committees to check on doctors who did d & c procedures on patients. Some of these guys faked the abortion for friends as d &cs. Most were given two questionable results that showed that it was an abortion instead. On the thrid they lost their hospital priveleges. One doctor joked that they got those two because one covered a daughter, the other a girlfriend.

    Nice to know that nothing much has changed in the decades sinc abortion became legal. Same old hypocrites out there doing the same old shit.

  36. ttommyunger

    I'm wondering, does being named Scott make you into a douche, or do parents somehow know a kid is going to go bad and then name him Scott to give fair warning to the world? I'm talking to you, Mass, FL, Wis, TN.

    1. Negropolis

      You left out Michigan where family values Republican state rep Paul Scott was recalled for banging a woman on his staff outside of wedlock, and then trying to pay her to be quiet and let her go (with a recommendation) when she started showing with his little bastard in her.

  37. glamourdammerung

    I was wondering if he can vote or own a gun considering his multiple acts of domestic violence.

  38. glasspusher

    Also had an affair with a drug representative? Wow, that brings back memories of a woman who lived in my apt complex when I was in grad school, total hottie, drug company saleswoman- she was always leaving a satin thong or two in the dryer in the laundry room. I bet the MDs she visited (or at least the ones interested in women) prescribed anything she told them to. She seemed very nice,too.

  39. NYNYNYjr

    "…DesJarlais testified he carried on a four-month sexual affair with another patient and prescribed pills for her during their relationship. He stressed there was "nothing wrong" with the prescriptions he wrote, which included the painkiller Darvocet, and was indignant when asked about claims he had handled medication improperly.

    "I don't feel real obligated to respond to that. I think it's ludicrous," he said. "I've never been challenged or questioned in terms of my integrity before.""

  40. Negropolis

    You know what? Had this been released beofre the election….he would have still won.

    BTW, found out this guy was born and raised in South Dakota, so we can't even blame TN entirely for this stooge.

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