MAVERICKY  11:52 am November 15, 2012

John McCain Continues To Be A Bitter Old Idiot

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Scary MonstersYou know who is so mad about the attack on the American consulate in Benghazi, and how Barack Obama sat around in the SitRoom, eating popcorn and demanding the CIA stand down and let our ambassador, Christopher Stevens, die and get dragged through the streets*? John McCain is so mad about it! He is so mad about it he is even willing to spout fart-scented nonsense from his poo-crusted old man mouth. BUT THEN B. Barry Bamz gave a press conference in which he reminded everyone about 45 times that, in fact, he had won the election and he is the president and y’all might wanna shut your fool poo-mouths, and also he would like to challenge John McCain to go mano a mano, old man! Well neither Lindsey Graham nor John McCain were taking any sass or guff from that one, and immediately started running around with their hair on fire. (But mostly Miss Lindsey.) So what was going on at the very same time as all these many displays of manly cockness? Oh, just the very security briefings on Benghazi that McCain was angrily demanding. Really! At the very same time!

McCain’s people — but not McCain himself, of course, as he was too busy screaming at reporters that they were fucking cunt trollops — say the reason John McCain skipped the Committee on Homeland Security’s intelligence briefing on Benghazi was due to “scheduling error.”

* This “dragged through the streets” canard is one of the worst-faith lies we have ever seen come out of the RWNJ’s collective pieholes, as usually when you drag someone through the streets, you hold them by their arms and legs and … drag them, rather than holding them under the arms so as to keep them up off the ground. Real-time photos have stopped precisely no one from claiming just that. Nothing funny. We’re just sayin’.

[ThinkProgress, via Maddow / Slate]

 
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{ 190 comments }

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 11:55 am

Yes, scheduling error…a Senator's "My dog ate it"

Lascauxcaveman November 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Yep. When I was a kid, I never had a dog to credibly blame loss-of-homework on, so I nearly always got that stuff handed in on time.

My cat did cough up a nasty, wet hairball about a foot away from my English assignment once; but no cigar.

MegPasadena November 15, 2012 at 1:51 pm

You know, he is old. It is just so unfair to ask him to keep his schedule like other people.
Have some respect!

elgin_pelican November 15, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Scheduling error=Matlock marathon

shelwood46 November 15, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Nah, since they realized Andy was a Commie, all the oldz have switched to Walker, Texas Ranger marathons.

sbj1964 November 15, 2012 at 11:56 am

Lindsey Graham that is one ugly lesbian.

rmjagg November 15, 2012 at 12:56 pm

if he would be so kind as to pull his hoop skirt over his head and tie it in a knot …

snowpointsecret November 15, 2012 at 11:56 am

He's such a Maverick that he's completely bucked reality!

BadKitty904 November 15, 2012 at 11:56 am

If you keep paying attention to this person, he'll never go away.

MittsHairHelmet November 15, 2012 at 11:57 am

I'm gonna start using "scheduling error" as an excuse for everything. Late to work? Scheduling error. Blackout drunk at Thanksgiving Dinner? Scheduling error.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 11:58 am

Yesh, I men ta be sho-*hic*-burrrrr but I shed–shhhh-shedoo…planned a get drunk tiday…*urp*

Lascauxcaveman November 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Blackout drunk at our Thanksgiving is usually scheduled for about 10:30pm. But what do you expect on a holiday when the first martinis are poured around 4?

SorosBot November 15, 2012 at 12:18 pm

That and all the turkey and other overeating doesn't help; in my family everyone pretty much collapses into half-consciousness around 8 right after we finish eating.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Why do you wait so long? Why do you hate America? Don't you know you're supposed to start drinking during the Macy's parade?

In fact, there's a whole Macy's Parade Drinking Game.

Lascauxcaveman November 15, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Pacific Standard Time. I think the Macy's parade starts before we get up in the morning, so starting the drinking at that time would be problematic.

OTOH, the football games start at a reasonable time for us to enjoy, and then move on to dinner. I'll take that over a televised parade.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Right, like you've never woken up early to drink….

sullivanst November 15, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Well, he never said the first martini was the first drink…

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Noon (or so) in the Flagass household. Slacker.

BerkeleyBear November 15, 2012 at 12:34 pm

How the hell do you last so long? My folks served Thanksgiving dinner around 3 growing up (ie just after the late NFL game on the West Coast) and the drinking began well before then. You and yours must have livers the size of French geese.

La_Cieca November 15, 2012 at 7:46 pm

I've always wondered how Meghan was conceived.

tessiee November 15, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Every spring, the McCains spawn when he swims over her.

Maman November 15, 2012 at 11:57 am

The new Republican playbook. If they can't steal the election, they go for impeachment. It is a shame that Dems aren't as vicious. Bush and Cheney would be in the Hague.

BadKitty904 November 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Ideally, they'd be in Spandau Prison.

(OK, I know it's closed, but I'd be game to have it reopened for those two)

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Listening to Spandau Ballet, too, of course.

sewollef November 15, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Can't do that, it'd constitute torture. And we wanna be legal, right?

Maman November 15, 2012 at 12:16 pm

I know that much is true.

Tommy1733 November 15, 2012 at 12:53 pm

OW!

PugglesRule November 15, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Da da da DAHHH dah

shelwood46 November 15, 2012 at 2:50 pm

With a thrill in my hand and a pill on my tongue.

JustPixelz November 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Republicans do not like democracy. Clinton wins, they impeach. Gore wins, they go to SCOTUS to call it for Dubya. Voting restrictions to cut participation. Saying Obama won because of some media conspiracy instead of "being better". They just don't like what happens when people vote.

freakishlywrong November 15, 2012 at 12:09 pm

That's because when people vote, Republicans lose.

BerkeleyBear November 15, 2012 at 12:36 pm

There's still a chance – some Spanish prosecutor with a hair up his ass will get them indicted ala Pinochet in 10 years or so (especially now that Darth Cheney has a new heart/isn't going to kick it as soon as hoped) and then President Loquicia Martinez may or may not give a shit about protecting them.

glasspusher November 15, 2012 at 11:57 am

Bamz really needs to do a better job of hiding his contempt for McCain

vtxmcrider November 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Why? Most people don't.

Tio_Doidinho November 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Or he needs to do a better job of displaying it. One or the other.

BadKitty904 November 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm

I dunno. I'm pretty OK with it.

BerkeleyBear November 15, 2012 at 12:38 pm

McCain has earned it, trying to keep his streak of Sunday morning talk shows alive despite his utter irrelevance to actual legislating.

Callyson November 15, 2012 at 12:46 pm

It's hard to hide the howls of laughter that are caused by Walnuts' idiotic rants.

hagajim November 15, 2012 at 11:57 am

Johnny had to take his old man nap.

HempDogbane November 15, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Yes he did, but think of some other old men who have lost a Presidential race. Walter Mondale, Bush 1, until a few weeks ago George McGovern, Jimmy Carter. Maybe being old is the least of Walnut's problems. What a pathetic specimen of a human being, let alone a leader.

nounverb911 November 15, 2012 at 11:58 am

So Walnuts, when are you going to finish answering questions about the Keating Five?

freakishlywrong November 15, 2012 at 11:58 am

Remember when Lyndz and McRantyPants gnashed their teeth and accused Bush of incompetence and "Watergate style hearings" after Dubya lied us in to war?
Me neither.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 15, 2012 at 12:23 pm

But there were more than four people killed in Iraq, so it wasn't worth the Senate's time.

Rosie_Scenario November 15, 2012 at 12:52 pm

And they confirmed the other Rice as Secretary of State after her "stellar" performance as National Security Chief.

HELisforHEL November 15, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Thank you, I was wondering the same thing.

PugglesRule November 15, 2012 at 2:18 pm

And remember when they held Watergate-style hearings about the 30+ people killed in 7 attacks on US embassies during the Dubya administration?

Yeah, me neither.

One_who_wanders November 15, 2012 at 11:58 am

Grandstanding plane crashing moron acts like a grandstanding moron! Fighting with Mitt to see who gets to occupy the very bottom of the GOP barrel, with Lindsay.

kennymfg November 15, 2012 at 12:20 pm

power-bottom Lindsay.

rmjagg November 15, 2012 at 12:58 pm

mittens has used linday as lubricant from time to time …

NorthStarSpanx November 15, 2012 at 2:06 pm

"She's not qualified," is what the plane crashing moron says of Susan Rice.

Coming from a man who placed this on his ticket:

But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy– Helping the — Oh, it’s got to be about job creation too. Shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americas. And trade we’ve got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive scary thing. But 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. ALl those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that. – Sarah Palin explaining the Wall Street bailout to Katie Couric, 2008

Defeatably_Joe November 15, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Good god. I used to know something about the Wall Street bailout, and that passage somehow robbed me of that knowledge.

Boojum November 15, 2012 at 3:14 pm

She was a beauty contestant.

EatsBabyDingos November 15, 2012 at 11:58 am

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Miss Lindsey fluffed her gingham dress and started warming up the santorum for her tryst with Smeagol.

nounverb911 November 15, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Is Smeagol Jim De Mint's porn name?

EatsBabyDingos November 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Yes, my preciousssss.

Jus_Wonderin November 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

I can just see her boiling water over a woodburning stove then toting it in pails to the big iron washtub so she can soap up her man when he's home from workin'.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Miss Lindsey fluffed her gingham dress

OK, so who is that, "Her Gingham Dress"? Else why would he be fluffing him?

rmjagg November 15, 2012 at 1:01 pm

while sipping from buckets of sherry , like a lady …

HRH_Maddie November 15, 2012 at 11:59 am

Disingenuous, adjective: the entire fucking Republican party.

ChillBill November 15, 2012 at 11:59 am

In other words, John McCain is still John McCain. Poor old fucker ages as well as a box of Franzia.

Lascauxcaveman November 15, 2012 at 12:15 pm

And this is not-so-good news, for John McCain.

Yellerdawg November 15, 2012 at 12:27 pm

So, what you're saying is I should just take that box of 1985 Franzia White Zin out of the cellar and drink it now?

ChillBill November 15, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Just save it for your Republican friends. Trust me, they won't notice the difference.

sewollef November 15, 2012 at 1:04 pm

What do you suggest if we have no republican friends? Drink that swill ourselves or mix it with the sump oil of their Hummers?

ChillBill November 15, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Well, then you are a lucky person. Franzia also makes great windshield cleaning fluid for Vettes.

PugglesRule November 15, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I would have said Boone's Farm.

Schmannnity November 15, 2012 at 11:59 am

Oh Johnny! Just because Obama is the first black President, you'll always be the first white man to lose to a black President.

Mumbletypeg November 15, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I've got to admit, I'd never thought about it that way before. Thank you.

TheMightyHaltor November 15, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Poor Mittens can't even get *that* distinction.

kittensdontlie November 15, 2012 at 12:25 pm

In the haze of Johnny's dementia, his butt hurt felt all to real again last Tuesday.

ManchuCandidate November 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Leave Walnuts alone. He was trying to save the US Amercia economy.

AlterNewt November 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

"…and the South Africica and Dia-rak"

smokefilledroommate November 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm

like such as

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

These fuckers are really gonna freak the fuck out when they find out that Michelle Obama is a Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother and Barack is the Kwisatz Haderach.

actor212 November 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm

OMG!

MALIA = ALIA – M, for….well, something!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 15, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Muslim!!!

DCBloom November 15, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Muad Dib!

PugglesRule November 15, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Malia and Sasha = the new, improved Spice Girls?

*hides*

BerkeleyBear November 15, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Tell me of the waters of your homeworld, B'rack? I guess it could work.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 12:57 pm

"The pure waters originate from the snowmelt of Mount Kilimanjaro."

BerkeleyBear November 15, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Only there is no more snowmelt on Mt. Kilamanjaro – so he was clearly lying about his powers.

freakishlywrong November 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

And that picture. It says it all, and never gets old, bitches.

IncenseDebate November 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

I'd like to drag Walnuts and Miss Lindsey through the streets. With Votes!

nounverb911 November 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm

While they are in drag?

rmjagg November 15, 2012 at 1:05 pm

lindsay , while riding through the streets in her sedan chair , carried on the shoulders of matching baggers , was pelted with rotten eggs and tomatoes by the vulgar peasants ….

mgremus November 15, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Why not a tank?

Botlrokit November 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

I say we run Barry against McCain again, and watch him beat his ass. Again.

WITH VOTES.

SnarkOff November 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

I bet if you polled the country, 99 percent of Americans would have no idea what or where Benghazi is. The RWNJ can't win on taxes, they can't win on job creation, they can't win on birth certificates, college grades or whether Michelle or Ann wears a pink dress better, and this is literally all they have left. Sorry, I can't even drum up snark on this. Just…sigh.

BadKitty904 November 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm

They're doing their very best to "manufacture" a scandal. So far, tho – no takers…

mbatch November 15, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Well now we've got the two narratives they'll be using from now on: 1) Obama won because he gave "minorities" free stuff; 2) Benghazi was all Obama's fault and he should be impeached. STAT.

finallyhappy November 15, 2012 at 4:07 pm

If you could actually talk to any of these posters- they could say nothing more than this. They couldn't say what Obama gave anyone or what Benghazi is/what happened- or who was involved

tessiee November 15, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Is your avatar Clara Bow or Louise Brooks?

mbatch November 15, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Louise Brooks.

HELisforHEL November 15, 2012 at 1:45 pm

It gives their idjit minions on The Facebook something to snarl about, because that's all they know how to do. Gawd forbid they actually try to work on solutions to anything real.
I'm surprised they haven't mentioned Vince Foster yet.
BECAUSE MICHELLE KNOWS.

tessiee November 15, 2012 at 9:33 pm

"I bet if you polled the country, 99 percent of Americans would have no idea what or where Benghazi is."

Benghazi = Obama did a bad, bad thing, or didn't do a bad, bad thing; and should be impeached immediately because blah.

weejee November 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Perhaps Barry Bamz should suggest that Walnutz and Miss Lindsey enjoy a ménage menagerie à trois with Shrub's pet goat?

edgydrifter November 15, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Four years later, McCain is still yelling at Obama to get off the White House lawn.

SayItWithWookies November 15, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Apparently John McCain doesn't like to be told he's wrong. No wonder he comes off as the angriest motherfucker in Congress.

Gratuitous World November 15, 2012 at 12:01 pm

He also suspended his campaign. so selfless

SnarkOff November 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Gesundheit!

jesus_vs_gojira November 15, 2012 at 12:03 pm

"Get off my [White House] lawn!"

FakaktaSouth November 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Apparently he only starts screaming such after everyone has already got off it.

memzilla November 15, 2012 at 12:03 pm

It's like the Democrats keep painting the solid white line on the road that runs into the fake tunnel hole that's painted on the side of the wall, and the Rethuglicans keep running on into it.

They might just as well paint a big ACME® on the Rethuglican platform, too.

weejee November 15, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Wile E. Coyote snickers.

Blueb4sinrise November 15, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Lindsey, John and Peaches.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/grahamfollower/88473

erratta….yep shoulda been Ham Biscuits, Walnuts, and Peaches.

sullivanst November 15, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Was that from the trip where he walked around a marketplace in the Green Zone and declared Baghdad safe because he only needed 100 troops and two gunships to protect him?

SorosBot November 15, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Jesus, these idiots really doing everything they can to manufacture fake scandals for the Obama administration, even though there's nothing there. And now that he's cruised to reelection, just like Clinton after 96 they'll get much worse. A bunch of whiny sore losers, the lot of them.

Be ready for the $50,000,000 investigation into the great Leaving-the-toilet-seat-up, or Toiletgate, scandal.

freakishlywrong November 15, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Oh. And for fuck's sake.

FakaktaSouth November 15, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Scheduling error's my new favorite thing. Nothing I like better than making this should-be-dead-by-now dipshit look like the raving lunatic screaming WHERE'S MY HOSENFEFFER???-while-everyone's-eating-already-asshole he is. So fucking great.

Mumbletypeg November 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

spout fart-scented nonsense from his poo-crusted old

Say no more. Luke Russert is ON IT

sbj1964 November 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

John McCain shot down twice over Vietnam,and once over America.A true GOP Ace.My guess his wingman took him out both times.Then it was Sarah Palins turn.

Lazy Media November 15, 2012 at 2:20 pm

McCain is a reverse ace, having lost five aircraft he was piloting. If he hadn't been made a POW, we'd probably have no Air Force left.

Pragmatist2 November 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

There was actually a scheduling error. Somebody forgot to schedule a time to check John in to a nursing home.

SorosBot November 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

So McCain missed the briefing due to a "scheduling error". But what kind of error was it that made him think a vapid incompetent screeching moronic famewhore was somehow qualified to be Vice-President of the United States?

SuspectedDemocrat November 15, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Also a scheduling error. His 9am "Make intelligent decision" got mixed up with his 9pm "Thoroughly embarrass self in front of everyone."

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Obama's dick so big, he gave McCain a concussion when he smacked him upside the head with it.

neiltheblaze November 15, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I think the big scheduling error was McCain forgetting to take his Metamucil.

Jus_Wonderin November 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Really, really, he's not straining. He always looks like that.

metamarcisf November 15, 2012 at 12:23 pm

As Will Rogers once said, "I never metamucil I didn't like"

smokefilledroommate November 15, 2012 at 12:07 pm

HENGHHHH? Be on teevee or go to an important briefing? A: Be on teevee, of course! Every time!

HELisforHEL November 15, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I'm hearing him in my head now. Thanks for the awful, horrible laff.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Maverick, huh?
♫ Highway
To the
Anger Zone ♪

Mumbletypeg November 15, 2012 at 12:11 pm

You are cracking me up today~

1stNewtontheMoon November 15, 2012 at 12:13 pm

DUKE CUNNINGHAM LIBEL!!1!!. Wait, what?

sullivanst November 15, 2012 at 12:42 pm

You can be my snarkman any time.

JustPixelz November 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Republicans! How do they work? Four Americans tragically killed on 9/11 is Obama's treason. Three thousand Americans killed on another 9/11 is Dubya's coronation.

elviouslyqueer November 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm

So what was going on at the very same time as all these many displays of manly cockness? Oh, just the very security briefings on Benghazi that McCain was angrily demanding. Really! At the very same time!

[Exit Credibility stage right]

One_who_wanders November 15, 2012 at 1:56 pm

There's no business like snow business like no business I know!

snowpointsecret November 15, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Those old male Republican operatives seem to be awfully obsessed with this "Ben Ghazi" fellow. I thought they were against gay marriage?

Tequila Mockingbird November 15, 2012 at 12:09 pm

McCain is our generation's Bob Dole, except that Bob Dole at least had enough of a sense of humor to be in dick pill commercials.

Lizzietish81 November 15, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Oh go to bed old man!

RedneckMuslin November 15, 2012 at 12:10 pm

John Mccain is still alive. Didn't he crash in an airplane? Or two?

MoeDeLawn November 15, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Hell apparently is still on "catch and release."

vaginista November 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm

wait – Walnuts is still alive?!

BadKitty904 November 15, 2012 at 12:18 pm

It's hard to tell…

kittensdontlie November 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Too bad about the angriness, they seem like a nice couple.

dancesw_cougars November 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Can't they see he's too busy trying to be concerned to bother being informed?

JustPixelz November 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm

"Please proceed, Senator."

Misty Malarky November 15, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I wonder how long a petition for a *swift kick to Walnut's nuts or Ham Biscuit's biscuits would last on that official petition site thing?

*With votes.

Joshua Norton November 15, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Shorter John McCain:

"Don't they know who I think I am?"

Bite me, dude.

DixvilleCrotch November 15, 2012 at 12:15 pm

I like how in that picture he is both drawn to Bamz' butt and repulsed by it at the same time.

Sorry Repubs, pretty much nobody gives a flying fuck about Benghazi. "Just sayin'"

UnionSpies November 15, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Heh heh…thanks for the pic, Wonkette. Laughing through my tears, now, after seeing that BBC journalists's little baby on WaPo.

Oh, and “dragged through the streets”? Fuck you, GOP…

MUHAMMED_PBUH November 15, 2012 at 12:15 pm

ironically john mccain is the one person in the senate who can actually speak with authority about being beaten by mobs and dragged through the streets, since it happened to him in vietnam in 1968 and then again in south carolina in 2000

sudsmckenzie November 15, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I knew it, the shirtless FBI agent is banging Cindy. It all makes sense now.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 12:19 pm

My granddad is 96, and he sometimes misses important meetings too.

BadKitty904 November 15, 2012 at 12:28 pm

My granddad is 90, a WWII fighter pilot and former POW, and described McCain, back during the 2009 election, as being "crazier than a rat in a tin can."

Slim_Pickins November 15, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Scheduling error = short-term memory loss = dementia.

T3rbo November 15, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Yes, the Benghazi incident surely was a thing. A thing where mortar fire killed an ex-navy seal, and a thing that could have been prevented by installing these at every embassy and deploying a platoon or company of Marines at every embassy worldwide. Impeach, indeed.

BadKitty904 November 15, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Pity about those funding cuts in US embassy security. Who was responsible for that, again?

One_who_wanders November 15, 2012 at 1:59 pm

I would be mentioning that every single time I could if I was the 'bama. (Or one of his mouthpieces.)

MUHAMMED_PBUH November 15, 2012 at 12:37 pm

replace all embassies with 100-story Mobile Oppression Palaces

T3rbo November 15, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I was thinking of putting them underground, perhaps into the sides of mountains. All of them. Or putting up signs that read "No frontal infantry assaults backed with heavy weapons and supporting fire."

BerkeleyBear November 15, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Not just embassies, though, but even consulates in backwaters where the populace has better access to heavy weapons than the Marines would and fortifying the compound like the Iraq Green Zone might just defeat the purpose of fucking having the consulate in the first place.

Of course, we don't have large uniformed barracks presence in the actually dangerous places anymore precisely because losing contractors is less of a PR problem than flag draped caskets coming into Dover, but let's not have that get in the way of
Panamanian strongman Juan McCain's ravings.

Dipshit old man is a dipshit.

T3rbo November 15, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I think we are missing the point: Obama is a black muslim.

PugglesRule November 15, 2012 at 2:21 pm

MUSLIN!! Spell it rite, dammit.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 15, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Someone should get McCain a banjo. You can't be that grumpy strumming on a banjo.

TribecaMike November 15, 2012 at 12:29 pm

McCain must be installed as president before December 12 to fulfill the Mayan doomsday prophecy.

Oblios_Cap November 15, 2012 at 12:30 pm

This will never work if Bronco Bammer doesn't try and form personal relationships with these GOPers. That's all Petreaus and Allen were doing with those non-spousal womenz.

SuspectedDemocrat November 15, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Condi Rice. Smoking gun. Mushroom Cloud. 4,000 dead American soldiers. What was the vote on her nomination again? Fuck you, McCain.

Weenus299 November 15, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Lady Lindsey is up for reelection in 2014, that's why he's starting in with his lilting voice. All the teabaggers in upstate South Cackilacky are fired up to get him thrown out of the senate,because he is such a liberal pantywaist. Neither way works. Teabaggers will get elected down here. Moderates? No.

Weenus299 November 15, 2012 at 12:35 pm

On a related note, it's a good thing that they gave McCain another plane after he fucked up in the Forrestal incident. Otherwise we wouldn't have had 5 1/2 years of prison shit.

GeorgiaBurning November 15, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Helps when your dad is a four-star admiral. Helps a lot..

MosesInvests November 15, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Grand-dad, also, too.

Nostrildamus November 15, 2012 at 12:35 pm

… scheduling error …

Walnuts must be part of the 47% that will never take responsibility for their lives.

imissopus November 15, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Only in GOP Land could friendly people carrying the ambassador to the hospital be turned into "He was dragged through the streets! Worse than Watergate! ARGLE BARGLE!!"

Sigh. Why do I pay attention to this shit?

BerkeleyBear November 15, 2012 at 12:52 pm

But they were BROWN PEOPLE and hence Al Queda, doncha know? Just common sense solutions, pew pew!

You pay attention for the same reason people watch reality TV – you want to reassure yourself that you aren't as stupid as the rest of the world, and the GOP provides it over and over again (even as it depresses you to realize they can't seem to ever fucking learn).

Mittens Howell, III November 15, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Walnuts is butt-hurt because the GOP just got 'dragged through the streets' by a black man, with votes.

Cleopatriot November 15, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Just tell him it's Condi, not Susan Rice. He can't tell them apart, he'll shut up then.

Aridzona November 15, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Ben Gazzara is dead, right?

TribecaMike November 15, 2012 at 12:42 pm

"I'm tired as hell and I'm not going to stay awake anymore!!"

Misty Malarky November 15, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Remember how the other day everybody around here was quoting Kurt Vonnegut?

Here's one for McCain and Graham, from his novel Slapstick:

“Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut?
Why don't you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?”

TribecaMike November 15, 2012 at 1:14 pm

I wonder if the French consider the abysmal 1982 movie version starring Jerry Lewis to be holy scripture?

OneYieldRegular November 15, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Someone needs to alert the orderlies that one of their charges is out wandering the streets in his bathrobe.

Native_of_SL_UT November 15, 2012 at 1:03 pm

It was obvious that the White House was lying about it being a terrorist attack when the terrorists hung our ambassador from a bridge took him to a hospital.

magic_titty November 15, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Hey back in '08 everyone said John McCain would be dead by 2012. That he wouldn't even be around to say stupid shit. So let's giving him some credit for, technically, still being alive.

tessiee November 15, 2012 at 9:47 pm

2012?
If he'd won, he would have "died in his sleep" a week later, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

smellypossum November 15, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Am I naive, or did Walnuts at one time make some degree of sense (for a rethuglican, mind you) with all his maverickiness? He certainly lost his shit with the whole Palin selection… but sometime before that I thought he could be counted on to at least not be a wingnut. Must be the dry heat down there in AZ baking his brain.

Arizona (and Florida) you're free to leave.

ottercliff November 15, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Senator, you have a scheduling conflict. Your supposed to be in your office for a Depends update.

smitallica November 15, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Four years later, and John McCain is STILL not president.

southernboyman November 15, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Hazmat crew was called to his office, too much spilled gin on the desk and don't even look in the trash can…

decentcitizen November 15, 2012 at 2:47 pm

This is the best the GOP's got? They truly are a party bankrupt of ideas.

mavenmaven November 15, 2012 at 3:10 pm

McCain is irate because he thought it was an attack on Ben-Gay.

PlanetWingNut November 15, 2012 at 4:09 pm

This is good News for John McCain…wait..no it isn't.

LibrarianX November 15, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Will McCain heroically suspend his campaign and fly back to Libya to sort this out?

cybermoe November 15, 2012 at 7:02 pm

So I gather McWalnuts crashing jets into wherever was also a scheduling error? Frackin hero my ass.

glamourdammerung November 15, 2012 at 7:07 pm

I hope President Obama throws this grandstanding nonsense into Songbird's face at every opportunity. Extra points if he mentions picking Palin and the Keating Five.

ttommyunger November 15, 2012 at 9:05 pm

He may be old and bitter, but he is one handsome piece of man flesh. BWAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAA!

tessiee November 15, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Suggested alt-text:

"Jeee-ZUSS, Barry! WARN me when you're about to cut one!"

tessiee November 15, 2012 at 9:35 pm

PAULIE Walnuts has more on the ball than Walnuts.

BZ1 November 16, 2012 at 7:21 am

Paraphrasing, "have you no shame …" (apparently not)

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