mavericky

John McCain Continues To Be A Bitter Old Idiot

Scary MonstersYou know who is so mad about the attack on the American consulate in Benghazi, and how Barack Obama sat around in the SitRoom, eating popcorn and demanding the CIA stand down and let our ambassador, Christopher Stevens, die and get dragged through the streets*? John McCain is so mad about it! He is so mad about it he is even willing to spout fart-scented nonsense from his poo-crusted old man mouth. BUT THEN B. Barry Bamz gave a press conference in which he reminded everyone about 45 times that, in fact, he had won the election and he is the president and y’all might wanna shut your fool poo-mouths, and also he would like to challenge John McCain to go mano a mano, old man! Well neither Lindsey Graham nor John McCain were taking any sass or guff from that one, and immediately started running around with their hair on fire. (But mostly Miss Lindsey.) So what was going on at the very same time as all these many displays of manly cockness? Oh, just the very security briefings on Benghazi that McCain was angrily demanding. Really! At the very same time!

McCain’s people — but not McCain himself, of course, as he was too busy screaming at reporters that they were fucking cunt trollops — say the reason John McCain skipped the Committee on Homeland Security’s intelligence briefing on Benghazi was due to “scheduling error.”

* This “dragged through the streets” canard is one of the worst-faith lies we have ever seen come out of the RWNJ’s collective pieholes, as usually when you drag someone through the streets, you hold them by their arms and legs and … drag them, rather than holding them under the arms so as to keep them up off the ground. Real-time photos have stopped precisely no one from claiming just that. Nothing funny. We’re just sayin’.

[ThinkProgress, via Maddow / Slate]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments [Looking into whether this is still possible - Shy] - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Yes, scheduling error…a Senator's "My dog ate it"

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Yep. When I was a kid, I never had a dog to credibly blame loss-of-homework on, so I nearly always got that stuff handed in on time.

      My cat did cough up a nasty, wet hairball about a foot away from my English assignment once; but no cigar.

    • MegPasadena

      You know, he is old. It is just so unfair to ask him to keep his schedule like other people.
      Have some respect!

    • elgin_pelican

      Scheduling error=Matlock marathon

      • shelwood46

        Nah, since they realized Andy was a Commie, all the oldz have switched to Walker, Texas Ranger marathons.

  • sbj1964

    Lindsey Graham that is one ugly lesbian.

    • rmjagg

      if he would be so kind as to pull his hoop skirt over his head and tie it in a knot …

  • snowpointsecret

    He's such a Maverick that he's completely bucked reality!

  • BadKitty904

    If you keep paying attention to this person, he'll never go away.

  • MittsHairHelmet

    I'm gonna start using "scheduling error" as an excuse for everything. Late to work? Scheduling error. Blackout drunk at Thanksgiving Dinner? Scheduling error.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Yesh, I men ta be sho-*hic*-burrrrr but I shed–shhhh-shedoo…planned a get drunk tiday…*urp*

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Blackout drunk at our Thanksgiving is usually scheduled for about 10:30pm. But what do you expect on a holiday when the first martinis are poured around 4?

      • SorosBot

        That and all the turkey and other overeating doesn't help; in my family everyone pretty much collapses into half-consciousness around 8 right after we finish eating.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Why do you wait so long? Why do you hate America? Don't you know you're supposed to start drinking during the Macy's parade?

        In fact, there's a whole Macy's Parade Drinking Game.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Pacific Standard Time. I think the Macy's parade starts before we get up in the morning, so starting the drinking at that time would be problematic.

          OTOH, the football games start at a reasonable time for us to enjoy, and then move on to dinner. I'll take that over a televised parade.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Right, like you've never woken up early to drink….

        • sullivanst

          Well, he never said the first martini was the first drink…

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Noon (or so) in the Flagass household. Slacker.

      • BerkeleyBear

        How the hell do you last so long? My folks served Thanksgiving dinner around 3 growing up (ie just after the late NFL game on the West Coast) and the drinking began well before then. You and yours must have livers the size of French geese.

    • http://parterre.com La_Cieca

      I've always wondered how Meghan was conceived.

      • tessiee

        Every spring, the McCains spawn when he swims over her.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    The new Republican playbook. If they can't steal the election, they go for impeachment. It is a shame that Dems aren't as vicious. Bush and Cheney would be in the Hague.

    • BadKitty904

      Ideally, they'd be in Spandau Prison.

      (OK, I know it's closed, but I'd be game to have it reopened for those two)

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Listening to Spandau Ballet, too, of course.

        • sewollef

          Can't do that, it'd constitute torture. And we wanna be legal, right?

      • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

        I know that much is true.

        • Tommy1733

          OW!

        • PugglesRule

          Da da da DAHHH dah

        • shelwood46

          With a thrill in my hand and a pill on my tongue.

    • JustPixelz

      Republicans do not like democracy. Clinton wins, they impeach. Gore wins, they go to SCOTUS to call it for Dubya. Voting restrictions to cut participation. Saying Obama won because of some media conspiracy instead of "being better". They just don't like what happens when people vote.

      • freakishlywrong

        That's because when people vote, Republicans lose.

    • BerkeleyBear

      There's still a chance – some Spanish prosecutor with a hair up his ass will get them indicted ala Pinochet in 10 years or so (especially now that Darth Cheney has a new heart/isn't going to kick it as soon as hoped) and then President Loquicia Martinez may or may not give a shit about protecting them.

  • glasspusher

    Bamz really needs to do a better job of hiding his contempt for McCain

    • vtxmcrider

      Why? Most people don't.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Or he needs to do a better job of displaying it. One or the other.

    • BadKitty904

      I dunno. I'm pretty OK with it.

    • BerkeleyBear

      McCain has earned it, trying to keep his streak of Sunday morning talk shows alive despite his utter irrelevance to actual legislating.

    • Callyson

      It's hard to hide the howls of laughter that are caused by Walnuts' idiotic rants.

  • hagajim

    Johnny had to take his old man nap.

    • HempDogbane

      Yes he did, but think of some other old men who have lost a Presidential race. Walter Mondale, Bush 1, until a few weeks ago George McGovern, Jimmy Carter. Maybe being old is the least of Walnut's problems. What a pathetic specimen of a human being, let alone a leader.

  • nounverb911

    So Walnuts, when are you going to finish answering questions about the Keating Five?

  • freakishlywrong

    Remember when Lyndz and McRantyPants gnashed their teeth and accused Bush of incompetence and "Watergate style hearings" after Dubya lied us in to war?
    Me neither.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      But there were more than four people killed in Iraq, so it wasn't worth the Senate's time.

    • Rosie_Scenario

      And they confirmed the other Rice as Secretary of State after her "stellar" performance as National Security Chief.

    • HELisforHEL

      Thank you, I was wondering the same thing.

    • PugglesRule

      And remember when they held Watergate-style hearings about the 30+ people killed in 7 attacks on US embassies during the Dubya administration?

      Yeah, me neither.

  • One_who_wanders

    Grandstanding plane crashing moron acts like a grandstanding moron! Fighting with Mitt to see who gets to occupy the very bottom of the GOP barrel, with Lindsay.

    • kennymfg

      power-bottom Lindsay.

    • rmjagg

      mittens has used linday as lubricant from time to time …

      • NorthStarSpanx

        "She's not qualified," is what the plane crashing moron says of Susan Rice.

        Coming from a man who placed this on his ticket:

        But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy– Helping the — Oh, it’s got to be about job creation too. Shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americas. And trade we’ve got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive scary thing. But 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. ALl those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that. – Sarah Palin explaining the Wall Street bailout to Katie Couric, 2008

        • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Defeatably_Joe

          Good god. I used to know something about the Wall Street bailout, and that passage somehow robbed me of that knowledge.

        • Boojum

          She was a beauty contestant.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Miss Lindsey fluffed her gingham dress and started warming up the santorum for her tryst with Smeagol.

    • nounverb911

      Is Smeagol Jim De Mint's porn name?

      • EatsBabyDingos

        Yes, my preciousssss.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I can just see her boiling water over a woodburning stove then toting it in pails to the big iron washtub so she can soap up her man when he's home from workin'.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Miss Lindsey fluffed her gingham dress

      OK, so who is that, "Her Gingham Dress"? Else why would he be fluffing him?

    • rmjagg

      while sipping from buckets of sherry , like a lady …

  • HRH_Maddie

    Disingenuous, adjective: the entire fucking Republican party.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    In other words, John McCain is still John McCain. Poor old fucker ages as well as a box of Franzia.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      And this is not-so-good news, for John McCain.

    • Yellerdawg

      So, what you're saying is I should just take that box of 1985 Franzia White Zin out of the cellar and drink it now?

      • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

        Just save it for your Republican friends. Trust me, they won't notice the difference.

        • sewollef

          What do you suggest if we have no republican friends? Drink that swill ourselves or mix it with the sump oil of their Hummers?

          • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

            Well, then you are a lucky person. Franzia also makes great windshield cleaning fluid for Vettes.

      • PugglesRule

        I would have said Boone's Farm.

  • Schmannnity

    Oh Johnny! Just because Obama is the first black President, you'll always be the first white man to lose to a black President.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      I've got to admit, I'd never thought about it that way before. Thank you.

    • TheMightyHaltor

      Poor Mittens can't even get *that* distinction.

    • kittensdontlie

      In the haze of Johnny's dementia, his butt hurt felt all to real again last Tuesday.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Leave Walnuts alone. He was trying to save the US Amercia economy.

    • AlterNewt

      "…and the South Africica and Dia-rak"

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        like such as

  • BaldarTFlagass

    These fuckers are really gonna freak the fuck out when they find out that Michelle Obama is a Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother and Barack is the Kwisatz Haderach.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      OMG!

      MALIA = ALIA – M, for….well, something!

      • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Muslim!!!

      • DCBloom

        Muad Dib!

        • PugglesRule

          Malia and Sasha = the new, improved Spice Girls?

          *hides*

    • BerkeleyBear

      Tell me of the waters of your homeworld, B'rack? I guess it could work.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        "The pure waters originate from the snowmelt of Mount Kilimanjaro."

        • BerkeleyBear

          Only there is no more snowmelt on Mt. Kilamanjaro – so he was clearly lying about his powers.

  • freakishlywrong

    And that picture. It says it all, and never gets old, bitches.

  • IncenseDebate

    I'd like to drag Walnuts and Miss Lindsey through the streets. With Votes!

    • nounverb911

      While they are in drag?

    • rmjagg

      lindsay , while riding through the streets in her sedan chair , carried on the shoulders of matching baggers , was pelted with rotten eggs and tomatoes by the vulgar peasants ….

    • mgremus

      Why not a tank?

  • Botlrokit

    I say we run Barry against McCain again, and watch him beat his ass. Again.

    WITH VOTES.

  • SnarkOff

    I bet if you polled the country, 99 percent of Americans would have no idea what or where Benghazi is. The RWNJ can't win on taxes, they can't win on job creation, they can't win on birth certificates, college grades or whether Michelle or Ann wears a pink dress better, and this is literally all they have left. Sorry, I can't even drum up snark on this. Just…sigh.

    • BadKitty904

      They're doing their very best to "manufacture" a scandal. So far, tho – no takers…

    • mbatch

      Well now we've got the two narratives they'll be using from now on: 1) Obama won because he gave "minorities" free stuff; 2) Benghazi was all Obama's fault and he should be impeached. STAT.

      • finallyhappy

        If you could actually talk to any of these posters- they could say nothing more than this. They couldn't say what Obama gave anyone or what Benghazi is/what happened- or who was involved

      • tessiee

        Is your avatar Clara Bow or Louise Brooks?

        • mbatch

          Louise Brooks.

    • HELisforHEL

      It gives their idjit minions on The Facebook something to snarl about, because that's all they know how to do. Gawd forbid they actually try to work on solutions to anything real.
      I'm surprised they haven't mentioned Vince Foster yet.
      BECAUSE MICHELLE KNOWS.

    • tessiee

      "I bet if you polled the country, 99 percent of Americans would have no idea what or where Benghazi is."

      Benghazi = Obama did a bad, bad thing, or didn't do a bad, bad thing; and should be impeached immediately because blah.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Perhaps Barry Bamz should suggest that Walnutz and Miss Lindsey enjoy a ménage menagerie à trois with Shrub's pet goat?

  • edgydrifter

    Four years later, McCain is still yelling at Obama to get off the White House lawn.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Apparently John McCain doesn't like to be told he's wrong. No wonder he comes off as the angriest motherfucker in Congress.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    He also suspended his campaign. so selfless

  • SnarkOff

    Gesundheit!

  • jesus_vs_gojira

    "Get off my [White House] lawn!"

    • FakaktaSouth

      Apparently he only starts screaming such after everyone has already got off it.

  • memzilla

    It's like the Democrats keep painting the solid white line on the road that runs into the fake tunnel hole that's painted on the side of the wall, and the Rethuglicans keep running on into it.

    They might just as well paint a big ACME® on the Rethuglican platform, too.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Wile E. Coyote snickers.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Lindsey, John and Peaches.
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/grahamfollower/88473

    erratta….yep shoulda been Ham Biscuits, Walnuts, and Peaches.

    • sullivanst

      Was that from the trip where he walked around a marketplace in the Green Zone and declared Baghdad safe because he only needed 100 troops and two gunships to protect him?

  • SorosBot

    Jesus, these idiots really doing everything they can to manufacture fake scandals for the Obama administration, even though there's nothing there. And now that he's cruised to reelection, just like Clinton after 96 they'll get much worse. A bunch of whiny sore losers, the lot of them.

    Be ready for the $50,000,000 investigation into the great Leaving-the-toilet-seat-up, or Toiletgate, scandal.

  • freakishlywrong

    Oh. And for fuck's sake.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Scheduling error's my new favorite thing. Nothing I like better than making this should-be-dead-by-now dipshit look like the raving lunatic screaming WHERE'S MY HOSENFEFFER???-while-everyone's-eating-already-asshole he is. So fucking great.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    spout fart-scented nonsense from his poo-crusted old

    Say no more. Luke Russert is ON IT

  • sbj1964

    John McCain shot down twice over Vietnam,and once over America.A true GOP Ace.My guess his wingman took him out both times.Then it was Sarah Palins turn.

    • Lazy Media

      McCain is a reverse ace, having lost five aircraft he was piloting. If he hadn't been made a POW, we'd probably have no Air Force left.

  • Pragmatist2

    There was actually a scheduling error. Somebody forgot to schedule a time to check John in to a nursing home.

  • SorosBot

    So McCain missed the briefing due to a "scheduling error". But what kind of error was it that made him think a vapid incompetent screeching moronic famewhore was somehow qualified to be Vice-President of the United States?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Also a scheduling error. His 9am "Make intelligent decision" got mixed up with his 9pm "Thoroughly embarrass self in front of everyone."

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Obama's dick so big, he gave McCain a concussion when he smacked him upside the head with it.

  • neiltheblaze

    I think the big scheduling error was McCain forgetting to take his Metamucil.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Really, really, he's not straining. He always looks like that.

    • metamarcisf

      As Will Rogers once said, "I never metamucil I didn't like"

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    HENGHHHH? Be on teevee or go to an important briefing? A: Be on teevee, of course! Every time!

    • HELisforHEL

      I'm hearing him in my head now. Thanks for the awful, horrible laff.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Maverick, huh?
    ♫ Highway
    To the
    Anger Zone ♪

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      You are cracking me up today~

    • 1stNewtontheMoon

      DUKE CUNNINGHAM LIBEL!!1!!. Wait, what?

    • sullivanst

      You can be my snarkman any time.

  • JustPixelz

    Republicans! How do they work? Four Americans tragically killed on 9/11 is Obama's treason. Three thousand Americans killed on another 9/11 is Dubya's coronation.

  • elviouslyqueer

    So what was going on at the very same time as all these many displays of manly cockness? Oh, just the very security briefings on Benghazi that McCain was angrily demanding. Really! At the very same time!

    [Exit Credibility stage right]

    • One_who_wanders

      There's no business like snow business like no business I know!

  • snowpointsecret

    Those old male Republican operatives seem to be awfully obsessed with this "Ben Ghazi" fellow. I thought they were against gay marriage?

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    McCain is our generation's Bob Dole, except that Bob Dole at least had enough of a sense of humor to be in dick pill commercials.

  • Lizzietish81

    Oh go to bed old man!

  • RedneckMuslin

    John Mccain is still alive. Didn't he crash in an airplane? Or two?

    • MoeDeLawn

      Hell apparently is still on "catch and release."

  • vaginista

    wait – Walnuts is still alive?!

    • BadKitty904

      It's hard to tell…

  • kittensdontlie

    Too bad about the angriness, they seem like a nice couple.

  • dancesw_cougars

    Can't they see he's too busy trying to be concerned to bother being informed?

  • JustPixelz

    "Please proceed, Senator."

  • Misty Malarky

    I wonder how long a petition for a *swift kick to Walnut's nuts or Ham Biscuit's biscuits would last on that official petition site thing?

    *With votes.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Shorter John McCain:

    "Don't they know who I think I am?"

    Bite me, dude.

  • DixvilleCrotch

    I like how in that picture he is both drawn to Bamz' butt and repulsed by it at the same time.

    Sorry Repubs, pretty much nobody gives a flying fuck about Benghazi. "Just sayin'"

  • UnionSpies

    Heh heh…thanks for the pic, Wonkette. Laughing through my tears, now, after seeing that BBC journalists's little baby on WaPo.

    Oh, and “dragged through the streets”? Fuck you, GOP…

  • MUHAMMED_PBUH

    ironically john mccain is the one person in the senate who can actually speak with authority about being beaten by mobs and dragged through the streets, since it happened to him in vietnam in 1968 and then again in south carolina in 2000

  • sudsmckenzie

    I knew it, the shirtless FBI agent is banging Cindy. It all makes sense now.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    My granddad is 96, and he sometimes misses important meetings too.

    • BadKitty904

      My granddad is 90, a WWII fighter pilot and former POW, and described McCain, back during the 2009 election, as being "crazier than a rat in a tin can."

  • Slim_Pickins

    Scheduling error = short-term memory loss = dementia.

  • T3rbo

    Yes, the Benghazi incident surely was a thing. A thing where mortar fire killed an ex-navy seal, and a thing that could have been prevented by installing these at every embassy and deploying a platoon or company of Marines at every embassy worldwide. Impeach, indeed.

    • BadKitty904

      Pity about those funding cuts in US embassy security. Who was responsible for that, again?

      • One_who_wanders

        I would be mentioning that every single time I could if I was the 'bama. (Or one of his mouthpieces.)

    • MUHAMMED_PBUH

      replace all embassies with 100-story Mobile Oppression Palaces

      • T3rbo

        I was thinking of putting them underground, perhaps into the sides of mountains. All of them. Or putting up signs that read "No frontal infantry assaults backed with heavy weapons and supporting fire."

    • BerkeleyBear

      Not just embassies, though, but even consulates in backwaters where the populace has better access to heavy weapons than the Marines would and fortifying the compound like the Iraq Green Zone might just defeat the purpose of fucking having the consulate in the first place.

      Of course, we don't have large uniformed barracks presence in the actually dangerous places anymore precisely because losing contractors is less of a PR problem than flag draped caskets coming into Dover, but let's not have that get in the way of
      Panamanian strongman Juan McCain's ravings.

      Dipshit old man is a dipshit.

      • T3rbo

        I think we are missing the point: Obama is a black muslim.

        • PugglesRule

          MUSLIN!! Spell it rite, dammit.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Someone should get McCain a banjo. You can't be that grumpy strumming on a banjo.

  • TribecaMike

    McCain must be installed as president before December 12 to fulfill the Mayan doomsday prophecy.

  • Oblios_Cap

    This will never work if Bronco Bammer doesn't try and form personal relationships with these GOPers. That's all Petreaus and Allen were doing with those non-spousal womenz.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Condi Rice. Smoking gun. Mushroom Cloud. 4,000 dead American soldiers. What was the vote on her nomination again? Fuck you, McCain.

  • Weenus299

    Lady Lindsey is up for reelection in 2014, that's why he's starting in with his lilting voice. All the teabaggers in upstate South Cackilacky are fired up to get him thrown out of the senate,because he is such a liberal pantywaist. Neither way works. Teabaggers will get elected down here. Moderates? No.

  • Weenus299

    On a related note, it's a good thing that they gave McCain another plane after he fucked up in the Forrestal incident. Otherwise we wouldn't have had 5 1/2 years of prison shit.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Helps when your dad is a four-star admiral. Helps a lot..

      • MosesInvests

        Grand-dad, also, too.

  • Nostrildamus

    … scheduling error …

    Walnuts must be part of the 47% that will never take responsibility for their lives.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Only in GOP Land could friendly people carrying the ambassador to the hospital be turned into "He was dragged through the streets! Worse than Watergate! ARGLE BARGLE!!"

    Sigh. Why do I pay attention to this shit?

    • BerkeleyBear

      But they were BROWN PEOPLE and hence Al Queda, doncha know? Just common sense solutions, pew pew!

      You pay attention for the same reason people watch reality TV – you want to reassure yourself that you aren't as stupid as the rest of the world, and the GOP provides it over and over again (even as it depresses you to realize they can't seem to ever fucking learn).

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Walnuts is butt-hurt because the GOP just got 'dragged through the streets' by a black man, with votes.

  • Cleopatriot

    Just tell him it's Condi, not Susan Rice. He can't tell them apart, he'll shut up then.

  • Aridzona

    Ben Gazzara is dead, right?

  • TribecaMike

    "I'm tired as hell and I'm not going to stay awake anymore!!"

  • Misty Malarky

    Remember how the other day everybody around here was quoting Kurt Vonnegut?

    Here's one for McCain and Graham, from his novel Slapstick:

    “Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut?
    Why don't you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?”

    • TribecaMike

      I wonder if the French consider the abysmal 1982 movie version starring Jerry Lewis to be holy scripture?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Someone needs to alert the orderlies that one of their charges is out wandering the streets in his bathrobe.

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    It was obvious that the White House was lying about it being a terrorist attack when the terrorists hung our ambassador from a bridge took him to a hospital.

  • magic_titty

    Hey back in '08 everyone said John McCain would be dead by 2012. That he wouldn't even be around to say stupid shit. So let's giving him some credit for, technically, still being alive.

    • tessiee

      2012?
      If he'd won, he would have "died in his sleep" a week later, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

  • smellypossum

    Am I naive, or did Walnuts at one time make some degree of sense (for a rethuglican, mind you) with all his maverickiness? He certainly lost his shit with the whole Palin selection… but sometime before that I thought he could be counted on to at least not be a wingnut. Must be the dry heat down there in AZ baking his brain.

    Arizona (and Florida) you're free to leave.

  • ottercliff

    Senator, you have a scheduling conflict. Your supposed to be in your office for a Depends update.

  • smitallica

    Four years later, and John McCain is STILL not president.

  • southernboyman

    Hazmat crew was called to his office, too much spilled gin on the desk and don't even look in the trash can…

  • decentcitizen

    This is the best the GOP's got? They truly are a party bankrupt of ideas.

  • mavenmaven

    McCain is irate because he thought it was an attack on Ben-Gay.

  • PlanetWingNut

    This is good News for John McCain…wait..no it isn't.

  • LibrarianX

    Will McCain heroically suspend his campaign and fly back to Libya to sort this out?

  • cybermoe

    So I gather McWalnuts crashing jets into wherever was also a scheduling error? Frackin hero my ass.

  • glamourdammerung

    I hope President Obama throws this grandstanding nonsense into Songbird's face at every opportunity. Extra points if he mentions picking Palin and the Keating Five.

  • ttommyunger

    He may be old and bitter, but he is one handsome piece of man flesh. BWAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAA!

  • tessiee

    Suggested alt-text:

    "Jeee-ZUSS, Barry! WARN me when you're about to cut one!"

  • tessiee

    PAULIE Walnuts has more on the ball than Walnuts.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Paraphrasing, "have you no shame …" (apparently not)

  • VEW 2014

    More sour grapes from that old idiot, he has been on an 8 year sour grape binge.