the dowager countess is not impressed

Daily Caller Outraged: Queen Michelle Obama Bogarting All The Downton Abbeys

Pissy bitchesWell we never! Did you know that Queen Michelle Obama is so enamored of the BBC televisionne programme “Downton Abbey” that she “begged” to get season three before the rest of us servants, and they gave it to her??? The Daily Caller knows, and they are, predictably, taking exceptionne.

So much for being an average American citizen. The perks of having the last name “Obama” don’t stop at living luxuriously in the White House or flying around on Air Force One.

In fact, the perks extend to something far more exclusive and unattainable for your everyday American: The Obamas get to watch the third season of “Downton Abbey” before the rest of the country does.

Michelle Obama is so enamored with the series that she just couldn’t wait until it airs in the U.S. in January and “begged” british TV channel ITV to get the third season’s episodes early, UK’s The Telegraph reports. Ask and ye shall receive — if you’re the first lady.

Fetch our pearls that we may don them and then grasp them all to pieces! Why she gotta be like that? Is there something wrong with BET?

How else are you hurt-of-butt, Daily Caller?

But what about the rest of us?! We want to know if Cousin Matthew’s junk magically starts to work so he can marry Lady Mary, and we want to know more about this alleged war-wounded other “cousin.” We, too, want to see Shirley McClaine and Maggie Smith passive-aggressively interact with each other. Ugh.

The rest of us plebeiens [sic] will just have to wait until ”Downton Abbey’s” Jan. 6 premiere to find out.

Vacations, and transportation to places and Secret Service protectionne and “Downton Abbey”? Will Moochelle Obama’s perfidies never cease? IMPEAzzzzzzzzzz.


About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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  1. Yellerdawg

    Well, it's not like it's the next season of Honey Boo Boo or anything. That would just be out of bounds.

      1. Botlrokit

        …or gets pregmant. "Statutory" is really a legal term, but it does have four syllables — therefore, her cousins prolly don't know what it means.

    1. SmutBoffin

      No shit! I wondered why some staffer didn't just pirate it for them, then I remembered something about the Prezident's oath of office including stuff about "upholding laws" or whatever.

    2. actor212

      Oh come ON! Can you imagine the right wing outrage if Obama was pirating? Fuck, suddenly it would become the single most important bill in Congress, apart from the inevitable impeachment.

      1. savethispatient

        Haha, yes, that is all painfully true.
        My initial comment may have not been intended as a factual statement.

    1. rmjagg

      yes and what other First Lady in the history of this country has had the unmitigated arrogance to live in the White House when the rest of us don't ? go ahead , name one … ;-)

  2. SorosBot

    "The Obamas get to watch the third season of “Downton Abbey” before the rest of the country does."

    Except that if it's already aired in the UK, that means a shitload of people in the US have already seen it. Has the Daily Caller never heard of BitTorrent?

    1. emmelemm

      And how come those British people get to see it first? We kicked their asses back a couple centuries ago so we could be NUMBER ONE!! Where's the respect?

      1. SorosBot

        I know; it's the same way with Doctor Who, though at least since BBC America picked up the US broadcasts it's just a few hours after the UK airing, rather than the several months behind than Sci-Fi was showing it. (And gee, what a surprise that lead to a lot more Americans watching it live instead of torrenting it). Damn Brits!

        1. savethispatient

          Automatic thumbs up for mentioning Doctor Who! The whole Obama family should sit down on Saturdays in the early evening and watch it together.

          NB: From behind the couch, especially if the Weeping Angels are involved.

          1. SorosBot

            I'll never look at the Statue of Liberty in the same way again. (Although the original Blink is still the best and creepiest Angels episode).

          2. WordSaladNation

            Okay, so could you help a brother get started with "Doctor Who"? There are so many "series" to watch, and I always confuse David Tennant with the guy from Pet Shop Boys, which is very confusing, when you think of it.

            Which incarnation should I start with? Is one better than an other?

          3. malsperanza

            Unless you're a fan of tickytacky sixties TV scifi, skip Old Who and start with the 9th Doctor, Christopher Eccleston (just one season, but brilliant). I like Eccleston best, but the following three are all really good, in different ways. The whole thing has an arc, as each Doctor becomes more awsumly powerful, employing the arcane secret powers of the Time Lords to master space and time. So you should watch straight through from there: 10th Doctor (Tennant), then 11th Doctor (Matt Smith), then 12th Doctor (B. H. Obama).

            Somewhere in there, if you're curious about the earlier Doctors, I recommend watching a couple of episodes of Four (Tom Baker, the famous one with the long scarf),, perhaps the 4-part Pyramids of Mars, and maybe a couple of Five (Peter Davison).

          4. viennawoods13

            Peter Davison was my favorite! Jon Pertwee was my first, and your first is always special, too, also.

          5. savethispatient

            Doctor Who was cancelled in the late 80s and came back in 2005, so there's a 26 series from the 60s to the 80s that you can skip for now, I suspect.

            From the new series, you can probably jump in at Season 5 from 2010 with Matt Smith as the Doctor. The head writer changed before that season, so it's sort-of a blank slate. Even starting with Season 7 from this year would be fine, you don't need much previous knowledge.

            Or start at Season 1 from 2005, with Christopher Ecclestone as the Doctor.

            Or just start watching anywhere, really… Each episode is generally fairly stand-alone, although each season will have some kind of story arc.

            If you just want to just try an episode or two, this list picks some highlights…

            Phew! Did that help? Probably not.

    2. viennawoods13

      I do believe that the last NPR pledge drive in oct was giving all 3 seasons- they made a biiig fuss about season 3 being a part of the boxed set- for a $240 pledge.

  3. MacRaith

    So let me get this straight: The Daily Caller is now opposed to wealthy and powerful people getting perks the rest of us don't get? When did this happen?

      1. SorosBot

        Oh I'm sure they would be equally upset about Ann Romney getting to legally watch those episodes early. Right?

  4. finallyhappy

    Because really no one gets to see television shows or movies before anyone else ever- unless you live in the White House. Hell, I've seen movies that never made it out of the theater again- except on DVD- and I have no connections at all. The main thing is did she get season 7 of Lost(cause I need help figuring out the end of season 6)

  5. skoalrebel

    What's a Downtown Abbey? [spit] Is that some kind of gay thing downtown, where there are people dressed up in kinky costumes?

    1. savethispatient

      It's a fantasy world where rich people have deep concern for the plight of the poor people, as long as the poor people don't have any funny ideas.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    Oh dear — that is simply not done in polite circles. Reporting about privileges the privileged get, that is, especially when one is a rich whiner. Please let's set Mr. Carlson loose on the heath and then chase him about with the foxhounds. It'll be great fun.

          1. smokefilledroommate

            I loved William Mason! He was so sweet and true of heart. (channeling my 13 year old self)– Does that mean I love Doocy? Nooo! Doocy is not sweet nor true of heart, he works for POX news for fuck's sake. Ewwwww.

  7. savethispatient

    Joe Biden is appearing on Parks & Rec – I assume so he can be ahead of the rest of us too. What. A. Snob.

  8. smokefilledroommate

    Oh, Michelle, c'mon– bittorrent! The Secret Service may/may not oblige (probably won't because there's some law shit there–but goddamn, it's public television), but you can find some time–er, probably not. Weird, I was just watching ep 08 last night. On ITV. In the UK.

  9. mrblifil

    Well after all the title of Season 3 is "Downton Abbey: Reparations" in which Joe Louis flies to the English countryside for the express purpose of ******* the dowager Countess in the ***.

  10. hagajim

    I'm sure Michelle will probably issue series spoilers starting next week, just to ruin it for all of us. Yeah – like I give a darn.

  11. Mojopo

    Today is my birthday and just to piss the haters off some more, I'm giving my swag to the FLOTUS. I hope she wins all national lotteries, and never says "enough" when delivering poundtastic butt hurts.

    1. cognachas4paws

      It's my birthday, too, so I will join you in giving my gifts – of which there better be many – to her as well. She certainly deserves it for putting up with these idiots.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Happy birthday you both! Want some of my leftover cake from yesterday? It's pretty good, not stale yet. My Mexican mother in-law's lemon cake. Yum!

        1. cognachas4paws

          I never turn down cake. Thank you. Was your birthday yesterday? If so, Happy Birthday to you, too.

  12. MissTaken

    This is more of a scandal than when the Dowager Countess had to contend with electricity in Downton Abbey. Oh the horror!

    1. SorosBot

      I'm going to pretend to get these references despite not having seen the show because all the cool kids seem to be watching it, like with The Wire.

          1. actor212

            The Tudors did a really good job making that era come alive while staying true to the history of the time.

            The Ken Follett books are pretty good with their era as a backdrop to the story. The TV miniseries…well, the less said the better.

          2. GunToting[Redacted]

            We made it through episode 2 of the latest. The first was OK, but the second was really bad. It seemed like the average scene lasted about 8 seconds.

          3. MissTaken

            The episodes when Henry was married to his second Catherine (the one he beheaded for banging every boy in town) were full-on porn. No other way to describe it.

          4. SorosBot

            Now you're making me hope for a new adaptation of I, Claudius on HBO or Showtime, with a ton of full-on porn scenes for Messalina's extra-marital activities.

      1. Weedlord BonerHitler

        You can come sit by me. I have no clue what these people are talking about except that it's a fillim. We can talk about the courage of Gloria Swanson in accepting the Norma Desmond role. Or something.

  13. Antispandex

    "So much for being an average American citizen. "

    Everyone knows that REAL average American citizens have car elevators in their mansions and stuff like that. SnobBoma!

    1. HouseOfTheBlueLights

      It's actually only the wingers who keep pretending the Obamas think they're average American citizens. Barry? He's always braggin' on how he's part of the 1% (as in "while people like me, making over $250K, get a tax break")

  14. MaxNeanderthal

    Ha-ha, Mrs Max is even further ahead in her viewing than Mrs O. Spoiler alert… I think the phrase "pre-eclampsia" might be of interest to DA fans ..

  15. zippy_w_pinhead

    These people need to pace themselves. At this rate they are going to run out of petty, superficial invented out of thin air non-issues to whine and pout about before we even get to the inauguration…

    1. emmelemm

      Sure they do.

      They set up an Internet site specifically so they could bitch about their butthurt DAY IN DAY OUT.

      1. Weedlord BonerHitler

        And lord jezus in a fucking speedo, have they bitched! I had no idea teh butthurt was so strong wiv Whitey, man, or I woulda treated alla yez better. Piss and moan, piss and moan, Lindsay Graham's threatening to hold Bamz responsible for Benghazi, Allen West won't concede, some fucker commits suicide because his tanning parlor in fucking FLORIDA isn't doing well and it's Bamz fault.

  16. weejee

    The Daily Bawlerz' writers and Eds have very too many mushy peas between their collective ears.

    Can we say 'collective' and 'Daily Caller' in the same sentence or will ID put us in timeout?

  17. Schmannnity

    They're so uppity, they have already started season 3 of Homeland where David Petraeus and Paula Broadwell guest star.

    1. sullivanst

      They used to be, but analogue switch off is complete, and ITV has an HD channel which broadcasts in 1080i (over DVB-T2 for terrestrial).

      ETA: it's presumably 1080i50, though, which can pose issues if your set really wants to run at 60Hz.

  18. Weedlord BonerHitler

    That Knee-Gress is dressing in the fancy clothes of white people and eating caviar and drinking champagne with that BLACKETY-BLACKETY-BLACK half-white Knee-Grow in a House that was built for WHITES which it says right in the name and the country has been destroyed because of this, but you SHEEPLE? BAAAAH, you do not see. Are those eyes in your heads or are you potatoes?

          1. Weedlord BonerHitler

            Thank you. Not everyone likes it, to my great disappointment, but them's the breaks, I guess.

            I guess folks around here are getting to know me too well. Nobody's even surprised any more. (sniff!)

          2. proudgrampa

            Huh? I, for one, am surprised! I have no freakin' clue what your avatar is all about. But I loves ya anyways!

            *hugs Weedlord*

  19. Slim_Pickins

    If we became British subjects as some wing nuts propose, we could get Downton Abbey at the same time as the homies, just like the Canadians, right? BTW, I boycotted the first two seasons of DA because I knew this was going to happen. Nate Silver told me there was an 84.3% chance of this happening…

    1. docterry6973

      Nate Silver told me last month to take my wife's buggy into the shop because there was an 79% chance that a wheel bearing would fail catastrophically on 11/13. Did I listen? No I did not.

  20. RawhideRawlins

    Yo bitches, I done allready watched the whole season. Here's how: firefox, stealth, Itv player.

    1. shelwood46

      I found out during the Sandy blackout that you can sideload VLC Player onto the Kindle Fire HD with ES Folder. I spent my days with lights and wifi furiously torrenting, then my nights in pitch blackness playing them back (Kindle=longer battery life than laptop). Watched all of S3, plus so, so much other stuff.

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      Michelle has the seasons of "Teen Mom" where the babies from this season are squeezing out their own illegitimate house apes.

  21. kyeshinka

    And what about all those snooty people in China and Russia and Ukraine watching all our American movies before they hit the big screen here? Is there NO respect for good ol' fashion 'Mercun exceptionalism?

  22. cc423

    Taylor Bigler (the author of the Daily Caller "article") is a nasty piece of work with the journalistic integrity of Mildred Elizabeth Gillars . To know her is to loath her to the core of her dark little soul. Sorry, just had to vent.

  23. SorosBot

    Can the Obamas get season 4 of Community, and get NBC to actually air it soon, instead of having to wait until at least fucking February? Even as they already filmed both Halloween and Christmas episodes. Fuck I'm tired of waiting.

  24. zippy_w_pinhead

    But just think about all the jobs these wingnuts are creating in the Waaambulance driver industry. See? they are good for something…

  25. Gleem McShineys

    Looks like the Daily Caller has gotten Season 3 of "Sore Anus Abbey" earlier than all the other Republicans.

  26. SayItWithWookies

    I hope the Obamas prominently display their Season 3 DVDs — like maybe where that oh-so-missed bust of Winston Churchill used to be. We'd be certain to have a mild winter after all the heat that generated.

  27. dcjdjay

    Big yawn. Available for free on the internets.

    Besides, there ARE perks to being First Lady. You get to fly in AirForce One, live in a big beautiful White House with many servants, and you get to tell Teatards to STFU.

    Besides, why do Teatards care? It's not like they're going to be watching Downton Abbey anyways.

    1. actor212

      A bunch of uptight white entitled folks get to sit around and complain about how bad they have it while the people who serve them (e.g. soldiers) get ill and die around them?

      Sounds biographical, if you ask me.

  28. Eve8Apples

    Does the Daily Caller really believe that the average tea baggin' GOP wingnut cares about "Downton Abbey"? I doubt they know Downton Abbey from ABBA.

  29. DrunkIrishman

    We all know the proper role of a first lady is to hold seances and psychic readings in the White House! GET WITH IT, MICHELLE!

  30. Nibbler of Niblonia

    did my comment get moderated because i referred to a naughty british piracy website?

    I like how post-election the republicans are turning on each other faster than O'Brien and Mr. Barrow.

    "It was her ladyship's soap."

    1. commiegirl99

      For some reason the word "pussy" got added to IntenseDebate's naughty words. I've fixed it because jesus that's ridiculous.

    1. corthylio

      I believe that because I've seen the previews about the upcoming financial difficulties the Crawleys are about to face.

  31. Defeatably_Joe

    I can actually totally understand the Caller's outrage that Michelle gets to view it a few weeks early; Under a Romney Administration, we all would get to watch Downton Abbey at exactly the same time: Never, because it's aired by Masterpiece Theater, on PBS, which would have been defunded.

  32. Pragmatist2

    Actually teh DVD is available to ALL on but you have to be able to play a Region 2 DVD in the US. I have a 9 year old neighbor who can show any Tea Party member how to do that so they can watch too.
    BTW I tried to post this on daily Caller and they deleted it. HaHaHa! True.

  33. arduinohacker

    Jeepers, she could have just asked Obama, and he could direct the NSA to hand over a tape. Do you think we spend those billions to record fist-bumpers phone calls?

  34. Eve8Apples

    If the Obamas really want to piss off the wingnut tea baggers, they should arrange for Barry sing the national anthem at the next NASCAR race.

  35. Q_R_DeNameland

    "The perks of having the last name “Obama” don’t stop at living luxuriously in the White House or flying around on Air Force One."

    Damn. I'm changing my name to Q. R. Obama.

    1. shelwood46

      This is why she was crying so hard on 11/6. All she wanted was to see Matthew and Mary's wedding, is that so much to ask?

  36. mustangsavvy

    Yes. This is a travesty. That a person like Michelle who is arguably, the world's most powerful woman, would maybe get a small perk now and then. You know, like designer clothes, hanging out with Beyonce, seeing Downton Abbey early. It's the ultimate tragedy. But poor people getting kicked in the remaining teeth they have by rich folk who already have everything but want more, and then having to find the money to pay for said teeth kicking, without help whatsoever from anyone who is remotely human let alone the government – THAT is perfectly OK, because freedumbz.

    The Daily Caller: We Always have the Right Priorities for Which We Will Scream Bloody Murder when they are being Trampled. Also too: We Have a Fainting Couch for when Pearl Clutching is Just Not Enough.


  37. rickmaci

    To be honest, I am embarrassed for Tukkker that he, and his fringy fringe friends, would be reduced to this. William F. Buckley cried today, if he could.

  38. johnnyzhivago

    I have news for you – for about $10 bucks a month you can buy a proxy in the UK and watch all this highbrow garbage as soon as it comes out.

    I vastly prefer to watch Swamp Loggers which is made in AMURICA, of course!

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      "and it was very close but close doesn’t count in this business.”

      Dude, it might have been close, if you had taken Virginia and Ohio and Florida, but even if you had, you still would have lost 272 to 263. Go home and count your fucking money; you obviously don't know how to count votes.

  39. BaldarTFlagass

    Well, elections have consequences. I'm just surprised she didn't get on Air Force One and fly over there to pick up the DVDs.

  40. ibwilliamsi

    Silly me, a Brit I met last week asked me which programmes I enjoyed and asked which I'd like to get in advance of the USA release. I TOTALLY spaced DA. I know his wife and will ask her to get me an advance copy for Christmas! Y'all just be careful when you run those region 2 DVD's on your DVD 1 region machines. You'll have to buy a converter if you ever want to play another American DVD on your computer again.

    1. sullivanst

      If you're playing on a PC, you could always get a second drive and leave them set to different regions.

      1. ibwilliamsi

        I found a reasonably priced program called "AnyDVD" that lets you play any region – after I blew it on my computer watching "Ashes to Ashes" before the USA release.

        1. sullivanst

          You should be able to switch your region code up to 5 times on a DVD drive. At least, that always used to be the case. It also used to be the case that many, perhaps even most, drives had cracked firmwares available that made them either multiregion or infinitely region-switchable.

          I'm slightly surprised that AnyDVD is still available for sale – it works by cracking CSS (like DeCSS, binary distribution of which has been relentlessly and successfully targeted by copyright lawyers armed with DMCA).

    1. TribecaMike

      If I'd been that guy, I''d have set up my suicide to look like I'd been murdered by my main competitor, the Sun. Revenge is a dish best served at 5505 °C.

      1. sullivanst

        I would've disassembled enough bullet cartridges to make an IED which I would then have detonated in my mouth, just to make us libtards feel guilty for talking about RW headsplosions all the time.

  41. ChrisM2011

    Maybe The Daily Caller should stop complaining about the 3rd season and go back and watch the second. I was sure they already solved Cousin Matthew's "junk" problem.

  42. Biel_ze_Bubba

    I was getting so fucking tired of all the wingnutz' "Benghazi blather blather Obama blather blather Benghazi" shit. Thank goodness they've found something else to be outraged about!

    1. FeloniousMonk

      His Lordship is engaged in discussions of a delicate nature with a lady with whom I believe you have some acquaintance.

  43. malsperanza

    Pfft, I'm disappointed that Michelle is so bush league. In 2008 Laura Bush ordered a new china service, despite the fact that the White House still has the Reagan service, the Clinton service, and about 14 other china services. The official George W. Bush State China Service (total price tag: $492,798*) consists of 320 14-piece place settings. It arrived in January 2009, shortly before the Obamas moved in. I guess Laura was concerned that a couple a black folks from the south side of Chicago might get all panicky if they had to pick out their own dishes.

    *Paid for through private funds from people seeking to ingratiate themselves with the First Family, as per usual.

  44. Negropolis

    I mean, it's not like any family has ever lived in the White House, before, right? No, it's always been Obama, and it's a hereditary presidency.

    Fuck the whiney-ass titty-babies. They weren't complaining when Cheney was ordering on the blackmarket the finest pickled fetuses to sustain his evil lifeforce.

    BTW, can't get into Downtown Abby – you know, the one about a single, white female living it up in Camden – but had Upstairs Downstairs running the background and got kind of hooked.

  45. Negropolis

    Black people to the idea that it's absurd for black people to be living in the White House:

    We built that!


  46. Stevola

    The perks of having the last name "Obama" include getting to beat the ever-lovin' snot out of Mitt Romney in an election.

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