OUR HERO  3:07 pm November 14, 2012

Barack Obama Will Punch Graham’s and McCain’s Lights Out Probably, He Is So Mad About Them Slagging Susan Rice

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Earlier we brought you the BREAKING NEWS that Senator John McCain is a puckered old asshole, and also why he is full of poo. B. Barry Bamz responded to McCain’s typical slurring of UN Ambassador Susan Rice in his press conference today by going all HULK SMASH and practically challenging McCain and his partner in E-vil, Miss Lindsey Graham, to fisticuffs! Here is a thought problem for our Internet friends: Was it SEXISMS by Barack Obama to get all het up on Rice’s behalf? Like, we cannot imagine him being so ruffled and dandery and whatnot if it were, say, Simon Rice under attack? The answer, of course, is YES it is sexisms. But it is our Barry O, so it is okay?

Yes. It is okay.

Just as we still expect more politesse in a debate with a woman opponent even though “but but but they shouldn’t be a little flower” — COUGH SCOTT BROWN COUGH — it is also okay to get more patriarchal-I’ll-protect-you-Little-Lady when someone is attacking us for no good fucking reason at all.

One of the many reasons Lady Americans are still vastly underrepresented in politics is because it’s shitty and mean and people attack you for no good fucking reason at all, and when we do that, we like to do it in anonymous emails. (Granted, there now seem to have been some reasons someone might want to go all Internet Stalker on someone else.)

So having some big strong men — “white knights,” even! — come in and enforce some FUCKING CIVILITY on our behalf and redecorate the boys club and make the Senate Women’s Restroom bigger while we’re at it, is an unmitigated good.

Still sexist though.

 
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{ 267 comments }

Lucidamente1 November 14, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Also, too, Susan Rice is majorly hawt.

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 3:11 pm

"'Scuse me while I whip this out."

randomsausage November 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm

It's twoo, it's twoo……

keepwalkin November 14, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I'd pay to see that!

The Johnson-In Chief as well as the whole spectacle. Yeah baby!!

ProgressiveInga November 14, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Do NOT tweet your junk, Mr. President. We believe you have the biggest, swinging-est one on the planet.

Nothingisamiss November 14, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Obama's dick is so big…..

HogeyeGrex November 15, 2012 at 2:31 am

That, by the way, is the startup sound on my laptop.

nounverb911 November 14, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Wait! Isn’t McCain the one that got the Croix de Guerre from Ho Chi Minh for setting the USS Forrestal on fire?

Lucidamente1 November 14, 2012 at 3:14 pm

"I can see flames from my porch."

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I think it's Ms. Graham who's the flamer…

MosesInvests November 14, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Walnuts downed more American planes than the North Vietnamese Air Force.

skmind November 14, 2012 at 3:13 pm

What does Meghan McCain have to say about this? Is she all ready to go Tagg Romney on Nobama?

Terry November 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

She'd probably send him a photo of her chest instead.

zippy_w_pinhead November 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm

she should send all of us a photo of her chest…

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm

After she asks him to bust up that chifferobe…

pac November 14, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Good one!

Texan_Bulldog November 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

More importantly-how does this affect Snowbilly's ability to grift?

Lot_49 November 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

That is an unstoppable force, like so-called "gravity."

BoatOfVelociraptors November 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

If you go from lot to LOX, things may be different.

anniegetyerfun November 14, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Thank goodness SOMEONE remembers who the real victim is here.

sullivanst November 14, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Yes, when she is at a safe distance from the President and the Secret Service, she is ready to tell some journalist that she totes felt like punching him.

nounverb911 November 14, 2012 at 3:14 pm

"Obama Will Punch Graham’s Lights Out"
Barry would hit a girl?

weejee November 14, 2012 at 3:18 pm

He already did, with votes!

ChillBill November 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

"Is Barry Obama gonna have to choke a bitch?"

deliman4 November 15, 2012 at 12:15 am

No,but he would bitch slap Kenneth the page.

Mahousu November 14, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Is attacking Lindsey Graham considered misogyny or misandry? Or maybe just common sense?

Texan_Bulldog November 14, 2012 at 3:19 pm

All of 'em, Katie.

SayItWithWookies November 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

I'd call it ten years late.

Oblios_Cap November 14, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Senator John McCain is a puckered old asshole, and also why he is full of poo.

Hardly Breaking News.

PugglesRule November 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I smell redundancy. Aren't all puckered assholes, old or not, full of poo?

HogeyeGrex November 14, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Not if they have one of these.

sullivanst November 14, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Or a colostomy bag.

HempDogbane November 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

This is about bleaching again, isn't it?

Buzz Feedback November 14, 2012 at 3:15 pm

John McCain nominates Luke Russert for SoS. A gift from one legacy to another …

Oblios_Cap November 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

McCain and his partner in E-vil, Miss Lindsey Graham are The Ambiguously Gay Duo to Obama's Hulk.

elviouslyqueer November 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Oh please. Ambiguous?

Oblios_Cap November 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I was referring to their "fighting" style.

DCBloom November 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Ha! I had to explain to my sweet little mother-in-law all about Miss Graham. She was shocked when I pointed out the obvious. So cute! Oldsters just have no gaydar

emmelemm November 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Why, he's just a confirmed bachelor and a Southern gentleman!

DCBloom November 14, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Aw, bless his heart

DemmeFatale November 14, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Obama's Hulk is Luther the Anger Translator: http://politic365.com/2012/06/18/after-press-conf

weejee November 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Well in response to Barry's presser remarks Lindsey has peeked out his closet and he want's to call Bamz out.

Will Faux Newz or Faux Sportz do the coverage?

emmelemm November 14, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Talk me off the ledge again, Weej. I went to read that article and my eyes fell upon some of the comments. Faith in humanity: shaken.

NEVER READ NEWSPAPER COMMENTS.

weejee November 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Those comments are just sanitary flooring for electronic parakeets. Simply poop catchers. We should sic Indiepalin on them to collect another wheelbarrow full of downfists.

starfanglednut November 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

"Without a birth certificate how did he get his driver's license?"

I think I speak for us all when I say:

Oh, FFS!

MosesInvests November 14, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Do we have to pay royalties to Callyson for using that expression?

SorosBot November 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

He made sure to old Bush responsible for 9/11, right?

weejee November 14, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I think he laid that at the foot of somebody's pet goat.

starfanglednut November 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

IOKIYAR.

sullivanst November 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm

WaTimes bloog? You're an evil person for posting such a link.

skoalrebel November 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Rice, dudes and dudettes. [spit] Fuckin' stuff is from China! The Kenyan Moose limb is tryin' to turn our foreign policy over to the Chinks! [spit!] Connect the dots, sheeple! Pretty soon the gay illegals will establish Sharia so that their anchor babies can practice jihad on white womens! [spit! ]

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

wtf?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Open your eyes to the truth!

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I want to retroactively quit my vote and re-vote for Romney!

emmelemm November 14, 2012 at 4:00 pm

You can't handle the truth!

bobbert November 14, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Oh, have you been introduced to skoalrebel? He's been absent for a while.

Generally, wtf? is the correct reaction. Ironically, of course.

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 4:39 pm

That's a real person??? I figured it was a (fairly tasteless) joke.

sullivanst November 14, 2012 at 4:41 pm

That's a real Wonketteer really demonstrating Poe's Law.

sarjo November 14, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Then you are a very bad kitty indeed. There is no such thing as "tasteless" here at Wonkette!

Nothingisamiss November 14, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Totally missed you. I was worried you'd seceeded.

secanonymous November 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

McCain: Tits or GTFO.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Why would I want to see McCain's tits?

starfanglednut November 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm

#Shudders

Gleem McShineys November 14, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Shake em, old man! YEAH!

sullivanst November 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm

If the McCain in question was Megs?

SorosBot November 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Does anyone take what grouch old McCain says seriously anymore anyway? I mean, aside from the Sunday morning talk show bubble?

weejee November 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Look at all the Sunday morning talkie ads. Incontinence, erectile dysfunction, constipation, arthritis, lumbago, diabetics, and all might point at leaning to oldes when putting together your guest list. A young guest might not know about rotary dial phones and rabbit ear antennas.

SorosBot November 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm

It's not just Sunday morning, all the network news is filled with nothing but drug ads for the elderly Baby Boomers, because that's the only people who watch network news anymore. So yeah, of course the geriatric likes of McCain and Lieberman appeal to those ancient demographics.

Although a lot of young folks do know a lot about antennas, after refusing to pay the $100 or more a month for cable and replacing it with a digital antenna, along with Hulu and Netflix and other streaming services.

Lot_49 November 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Fox, CNN, ABC, NBC and CBS have an hour each to fill every Sunday morning. Well, only 30 minutes for CBS. Somebody's got to get up early, put on makeup, go out there under the lights and bloviate since Chuck Hegel retired. Turns out old WALNUTS! doesn't have much else to do on Sunday, and it's not like he's motorboating Cindy's exquisitely sculptured 25-year-old tits when he wakes up with a hardon,.

SorosBot November 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

MOAR BRAIN BLEACH PLEASE.

Lot_49 November 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Please, I was just getting started when your comment cut me off. He can't motorboat Cindy cuz she hates his ass, and stays in her conjoined high-rise oceanfront condos on Coronodo island near San Diego. The reason he couldn't remember how many houses he owns is that she won't let him in most of them. She's probably getting it from Manuel the illegal gardener at her Scottsdale place.

One_who_wanders November 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Do what I do: I have subscribed to a monthly delivery of brain bleach delivered directly to my door so I can continue to read Wonkette with relative impunity.

LesPaultard November 14, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Mine comes in a green bottle with a weird French word on the label….tanqueray?

Ground Zero Mostel November 14, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Notice how the more presidential Bar looks, the more apopletic they get.

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Very statesman-like. Dreamboat-y, too, also.

fuflans November 14, 2012 at 5:03 pm

yeah esp that 'IF i chose to nominate her' i will mutherfuckas cause i am barry and i am the reelected POTUS.

Jus_Wonderin November 14, 2012 at 3:17 pm

I first read that as Husk Smash…which seems appropriate.

1stNewtontheMoon November 14, 2012 at 3:18 pm

fuck john mccain and the trollop (lindsey graham) he rode in on.

zippy_w_pinhead November 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

so you're saying gramps is a top?

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Only when he remembers how.

EatsBabyDingos November 14, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Yes, but does McCain bleach his puckered old assh…urrg. I just got an anti-boner.

Oblios_Cap November 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm

The proper medical term for that is "The Bob Dole".

Abernathy November 14, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I assume you mean The Bob Dole is a bleached, puckered, old asshole.

starfanglednut November 14, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Is that when it turns itself inside out?

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I want to have sex with his presser.

Texan_Bulldog November 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Wait, was Petreaus sleeping with Susan Rice, too? (Sorry, I am getting all my RW outrage talking points confused.)

These dumb asses act like Susan Rice shot these 4 guys herself.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Which is ridiculous, as everyone knows she was busy selling out our gun rights to the UN while making sure the Chinese get all our oil.

YouBetcha November 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I'm glad to see Hopey get a little more "fuck you, assholes" in his 2nd term. Let's hope we see more of this, and less cooperation. Because fuck these assholes.

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

This cannot be fisted enough.

SorosBot November 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Oh yeah, now that he doesn't have to worry about reelection, and has had to deal with the Republicans' obstructionist bullshit for so long, I hope we get to see more Barack unleashed. Maybe he could start with a fuck you like inviting Rev. Wright to give his inauguration benediction.

Texan_Bulldog November 14, 2012 at 3:48 pm

And Bill Ayers and any other terrorists he palled around with. Just to see the Fox heads explode.

starfanglednut November 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm

And zombie Saul Alinsky, also too.

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Oath on the Koran!

sewollef November 15, 2012 at 9:06 am

I think declaring himself an atheist and refusing to swear on any magic book, would be the way to go.

Except to say "fuck you republicans."

pac November 15, 2012 at 12:30 am

And invite his dead father, you know Frank Marshall Davis, to the inauguration. With a big George Soros mural in the background. Just for kicks. Forward!

Shypixel November 14, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Depending on which definition you use, simply acknowledging that women exist separately from men is sexist…

Zango Crudmonger November 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Bamz' visage is resolute, a Sisyphean demeanor for pushing the obstructionist rock over Bullshit Mountain.

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Smite them hip and thigh, Bamz!

PugglesRule November 14, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I bet he wakes up every day and thinks, "Holy fuck, I have to deal with this boatload of nitwits AGAIN?"

HRH_Maddie November 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I hope Obama doesn't punch Lindsay Graham. I am strongly opposed to violence against women.

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

In this case, the bitch really did have it coming.

Oblios_Cap November 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Maybe he should just throw ham biscuits at her.

Jus_Wonderin November 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!

emmelemm November 14, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Win.

ETA: If you'da been there… If you'da seen it… You would have done the same!

NDeeeZ November 14, 2012 at 5:09 pm

That's how ya do it in Chicago!

Crank_Tango November 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Could be that the reason they are attacking her in the first place is sexism, maybe?

MissTaken November 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Ding ding ding!

SorosBot November 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Maybe, but remember that Ambassador Rice is also black so it could be racism.
Or both!

Crank_Tango November 14, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Oh snap! Remember the last black lady SoS we had, and that "Bin Laden determined to strike in US" memo before she got the job?

Me neither.

YouBetcha November 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Haven't you heard? There is no War on Women. All liberal fabrication and lies.

starfanglednut November 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Winner, winner chicken dinner!

sullivanst November 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I'm thinking mostly just the basest, most craven political opportunism I have ever seen in real time.

Raskolnikova November 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Referencing the LOSER Files.. Isn't Clock-Hand the same Mental Midget that suffocated us with the Alaskan Moose Knuckle Barbie?

Goonemeritus November 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

But in her position as UN ambassador isn’t she directing black helicopters to spy on my soft drink consumption.

GeneralLerong November 14, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Drones, goon, drones are the thing now.

But, yes.

ChickTract_Fil_A November 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm

If Texas secedes, they can be President and First Lady!

Oblios_Cap November 14, 2012 at 3:25 pm

It's hard to imagine that a country that produced Woody Gutherie and John Prine – among others – could produce assholes like McCain and Ryan.

Explain to me again how John McCain's getting captured in wartime somehow qualifies him to be an expert on all things military. Did they have a War College in the Hanoi Hilton?

DCBloom November 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Woody Gutherie and John Prine in the same comment. My day is complete.

pac November 15, 2012 at 12:40 am

I was wondering how to express that. Close enough…….

hagajim November 14, 2012 at 3:59 pm

John McCain is an expert on two things….1) crashing planes at inopportune times; and 2) picking the biggest dumb ass in the world to be his running mate.

Defeatably_Joe November 14, 2012 at 4:28 pm

This machine kills presidential prospects.

lulzmonger November 14, 2012 at 8:54 pm

SOFT BIGOTRY OF LOW EXPECTATIONS LIBEL!!!!!!!

Walnuts was only SECOND worst in his class at West Point.

imissopus November 15, 2012 at 2:01 am

Because FIVE AND A HALF YEARS SHUT UP THAT'S WHY!!!

MissTaken November 14, 2012 at 3:25 pm

It's not that Barry is a Man and Susan Rice is a Woman. It's that Barry is her boss and may appoint her to his cabinet. I would be pissed if my boss, male or female, didn't stand up for me if I was being called out for incompetence by geriatric war mongers.

PugglesRule November 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

THIS.

hagajim November 14, 2012 at 3:59 pm

My thought exactly. It's too rare anymore that a boss actually stands up for their employees and Barry did a helluva job here. I wish my boss would do the same.

Jus_Wonderin November 14, 2012 at 4:03 pm

My boss broke his foot so he is riding this knee wheely thing around and is only here but 2 hours a day for weeks. Though, if he could stand, he would stand up for me.

He might whimper as he does it.

Jus_Wonderin November 14, 2012 at 4:04 pm

That's kinda the take I got. I didn't think of her as a woman first.

JustPixelz November 14, 2012 at 4:25 pm

YES! Just like the time Dick Cheney stood up for Dubya Bush.

kingofmeh November 14, 2012 at 4:35 pm

of course. why is it surprising that having the president tell mccain to piss off is better than having rice go in front of the cameras and say "stop being mean to me, you guys"? using a surrogate is always better, regardless of the sex of the person attacked.

pac November 15, 2012 at 12:45 am

A man gotts to stand up for his peeps! B. Barry done her proud!

gullywompr November 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Bammed!

(PS – lotta searching for the One True Feminism on teh Wonketz of late… Let me know what I can do to help.)

James Michael Curley November 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Somebody finally found a use for the word politeese since Keith Richards spelled 'politics' wrong.

sati_demise November 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

“Mr. President, don’t think for one minute I don’t hold you ultimately responsible for Benghazi,” Graham said in a statement. “I think you failed as Commander in Chief before, during, and after the attack.”
Said little sissy Lindsey Graham. What a pansy not to say it to his face.

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I'm pretty sure that Bamz doesn't think for one minute that Miz Lindsey doesn't hold him ultimately responsible for Benghazi. And I'm equally sure that he cares even less than the average American does.

sullivanst November 14, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Barry was probably briefly tempted to tell Ham Biscuits to suck his dick, until he remembered that he'd probably take that as a sincere invitation.

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Ew!

Wile E. Quixote November 14, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Does that little bitch Lindsey Graham hold George W. Bush responsible for 9/11 and the Iraq war clusterfuck?

Jus_Wonderin November 14, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Then he curtsied and skipped off stage.

JustPixelz November 14, 2012 at 4:27 pm

WOW! The standard sure has changed since Dubya was Preznit. After 9/11, the Repubicans called him a hero when four Americans were killed. (Plus 2996 more.)

sullivanst November 14, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Yeah, I don't remember McCabe or Ham Biscuits clammoring for probes every time four or more Americans were killed in Iraq or Afghanistan (every day of the Bush administration, pretty much)

Wadisay November 14, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Isn't "talking tough" in a "tweet" kind of an oxymoron, anyhoo?

calliecallie November 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Lindsay Graham can suck it.

Obama said they had tried to besmirch her reputation. Besmirch is another word we don't hear often enough in the national political discourse.

He said "disgorged," too. Tee hee.

jello_mold November 14, 2012 at 4:07 pm

I realllllllllly wish he'd pay attention to his language the way the rw does.

vulpes82 November 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Lindsay Graham WANTS to suck it, but can't, which is why he's so bitchy.

Graham Cracker November 14, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Yeah, Lindsy sucks it, then disgorges it. Lather, rinse, repeat.

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

"Senator John McCain is a puckered old asshole"
Bleached, or hairy?

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Ew.

hagajim November 14, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Ewww!

Abernathy November 14, 2012 at 4:07 pm

A little from Column A, a little from Column B.

SayItWithWookies November 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

If the damned Benghazi attack had happened four years ago, it would've been "All Quiet on the North African Front." If John McCain had a lick of fuckin' sense he'd drop this charade like it was an incompetent running mate. Oh, wait.

jolpaj November 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Guys. "E-Viyil" has a y and an i in it. Otherwise, I don't know, it just looks like you're talking about a late 90's internet company, like e-toys.com or e-petstuff or whatever.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

I do love it when Bamz shows his righteous indignation.

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm

"Oh, well, allow me to retort."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhMS70_EYw0

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 14, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Boom!

NW_Pinko November 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Finish the dang fence!

docterry6973 November 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Just as we still expect more politesse in a debate with a woman opponent …

In my thought experiment I try to picture Scott Brown saying to a man, "Look at him. Does he look like an Indian?"

And it doesn't work. I can't see Brown attacking a man in that way.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I don't see Brown calling a male opponent "Professor" as an insult either also too.

snowpointsecret November 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm

It astounds me that "Professor" can be used as an insult in the first place. It's like demeaning someone for being smart.

Oh wait, this is the Republican Party we're talking about. Carry on.

barto November 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

At least McWalnuts didn't call her a "cunt". That little bit of decorum is reserved for wifey.

synykyl November 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Just wait until John McCain finds out how many Americans have died because they had no health insurance. I bet he'll *really* be angry then!

teebob2000 November 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Let me get this straight: Susan Rice goes on Sunday news talkers to explain the Benghazi situation 5 days after the attack in which 4 Americans were tragically killed, describing it as the intel knew it at that point. And that disqualifies her for SOS.

Meanwhile, Condi testifies UNDER OATH that the Middle East will become a "mushroom cloud" because of non-existent WMD Iraq never had, due to faked intel, and got us into a war which killed 5000 American troops, countless Iraqi civilians ("countless" because we couldn't be bothered to count them), and put $5 Trillion on the American tax-payer's bill. And that qualifies her for SOS.

Makes perfect sense to me.

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

SoS hell, they think she's hewn from presidential, or at least vice-presidential, timber.

PugglesRule November 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Because, REPUBLICAN!

See also too: IOKIYAR.

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Being charged by the Hague with war crimes would also work.

Defeatably_Joe November 14, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Not to mention the 2,000 and change US civilians that died because Bin Ladin was Determined to Something Something.

Defeatably_Joe November 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Walnuts and Hambiscuits were actually both pretty major supporters of that previous Rice appointment, in fact, and both gave rode the "Nobody could have known" hobby horse all around the Sunday talk circuit as part of the push to get her confirmed.

But yeah, this is what leads me to believe that it's not really any more sexist than every fucking thing Republicans do all the time, every day, but rather, the dominant motive at work here is just some good, old-fashioned, shockingly blatant partisan hypocrisy.

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Condi would be better qualified for Secretary of War, if the position still existed.

glamourdammerung November 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

On one hand, he is whiting knighting for Rice, but at the same time, we all know that Songbird would not have been nearly as confrontational if Rice was a guy. So it balances out.

MacRaith November 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Memo to the GOP: The entire country opened a huge can of whoop-ass on you last week. With real, live, actual votes, no less. We gave the President a mandate to smack you down as hard and as often as necessary, and he seems to have gotten the message. So keep up with the same bullshit you've been spreading for the past four years, and it will go very badly for you. You've been warned.

snowpointsecret November 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Reminder from Fox News: It's only a war on women when women fight back. And then the women are the ones attacking women, apparently.

Good luck figuring all that out, I got dizzy from typing it.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Same rules as class warfare, which Fucks Gnus called a "war" only when the 99% started to fight back.

Blueb4sinrise November 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Don Quixote LIBEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Do Rice and Obama share a Gmail account????

DahBoner November 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

To quote an old Korean friend:

Rice is nice. I think.

weejee November 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm

To quote a very old Korean friend

돼지 섹스를 너무 많은 사람들이 있습니다

DCBloom November 14, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Agreed. I saw that and sexism didn't even enter my mind.

shelwood46 November 14, 2012 at 5:48 pm

This post (and yesterday's about Broadwell) is just baffling. Yes, Obama would have said EXACTLY the same thing if Rice was a man. Rebecca needs to lay off writing about women's issues, including pretend women's issues, because she's putting her foot really far into her mouth.

sharethegrief November 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I've been waiting for Barry to go angry black man is his own suave way.

An_Outhouse November 14, 2012 at 4:04 pm

He couldn't pick a better target. McCain's hated Obama since he was elected to the senate.

ingloriousbytch November 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

1.) That's not sexism. That Barry having his employee's back and it's pretty nice to see after the flood of Papa John style assholes who are firing people and blaming Obama's win.

2.) Is it me or does Barry seem to be running out of fucks to give? All that time spent with Bill Clinton seems to have rubbed off on him. Me likey.

Kid_Charlemagne November 14, 2012 at 4:12 pm

I hope he doesn't throw Rice under the bus like Clinton did Lani Guinier.

fuflans November 14, 2012 at 5:05 pm

why are so many pizza chain owners such abject assholes?

Guppy November 14, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Agree. Good leaders are supposed to stick up for their minions like that.

smokefilledroommate November 14, 2012 at 3:43 pm

"Susan: The Better Rice."™

Schmannnity November 14, 2012 at 3:48 pm

According to Palin, Glen: The Brown Rice.

smokefilledroommate November 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Condi: The Complex White Rice

Schmannnity November 14, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Houston: Rice U.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm

You should be appointed to Secretary of Winning Things for this.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Maybe Hillary should move to Arizona and run for the Senate again.

Schmannnity November 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm

An upper cut to Graham's jaw might sever McCain's dick.

NDeeeZ November 14, 2012 at 5:01 pm

…with votes!

Thurman Munster IV November 14, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Like in the world According to Carp.

TribecaMike November 14, 2012 at 3:48 pm

We're going to need more drones.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I'm so glad Bamz won last week. Can you imagine the verbal shitstorm we'd be trying to swim through if Mittens had won?

fuflans November 14, 2012 at 5:06 pm

i like to think i would be living abroad if mittbot had been elected.

bearperney November 14, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Costa Rica was starting to sound pretty good!

sullivanst November 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm

It's certainly the case that in defending her, he said nothing gender specific apart from choosing the correct pronoun.

I've been fuming for over two months about the GOP's disgusting grandstanding on Benghazi, their continuing determination to twist the deaths of four good public servants for political advantage. I can only imagine how Barack feels about it, especially knowing that he had to tread extremely carefully on account of the election. Now that said election is done and dusted, to see them still trying to snatch the flags off the caskets to drape over themselves, and to try to shit over the UN Ambassador as a way to try to attack Obama, is fucking nauseating.

At long last, have they no shame? No, they do not.

Designer_Rants November 14, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Thomas Ricks said today that Fox News iss "smoking crack" regarding their Benghazi propaganda. It was the right thing to say.
http://onpoint.wbur.org/2012/11/14/generals-in-tr

Both Sides Do It November 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Maybe it's because of Teh Petraenus but it seems like the public exploration of sexism and misogyny that made up such a big part of the campaign is continuing

Please please please please let this be the case

As soon as Nobama raises taxes this'll all probably go out the window in favor of ooga-booga socialism nonsense but for now . . . encouraging

fredbell November 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Senator Ham-Biscuits fires back (he's going all in):

“Mr. President, don’t think for one minute I don’t hold you ultimately responsible for Benghazi. I think you failed as Commander in Chief before, during, and after the attack.

“We owe it to the American people and the victims of this attack to have full, fair hearings and accountability be assigned where appropriate. Given what I know now, I have no intention of promoting anyone who is up to their eyeballs in the Benghazi debacle.”

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Stamp, flounce.

elviouslyqueer November 14, 2012 at 3:59 pm
fuflans November 14, 2012 at 5:07 pm

don't forget:

pearls. clutched.

imissopus November 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Oooo, I love it when Lindsey Graham butches it up. Was he wearing his JAG uniform at his press conference too? Hawt.

cognachas4paws November 14, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Now he should nominate her just to piss the fright wing off further.

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

You know the media is just itching for her to get the SoS position, so they can run headlines like "Obama Sends Rice to India and China".

Thurman Munster IV November 14, 2012 at 5:41 pm

And refrigerators to Barrow.

christianmuslin November 14, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Touche!

yyyaz November 15, 2012 at 12:45 am

Meh. It was all done and toasted in the Bush Rice's salad days.

bloggingbalkanistan November 15, 2012 at 12:53 am
rickmaci November 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Way to go Walnuts and LinGra. Show us how the Reptardlicans want to turn over a new leaf and reach out to women….by declaring war on a woman. You guys are in a fucking hole. Does it occur to you that the thing to do is stop digging and put down the shovels?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm

That damned fuzzy line between chivalry and sexism has always been tricky to navigate. (I still open doors for the ladiez, chauvinist old fart that I am.)

corthylio November 14, 2012 at 4:10 pm

I thought opening doors for people regardless of gender is simple politeness?

jello_mold November 14, 2012 at 4:11 pm

has no lady held the door for you? I'd be surprised. golden rule etc

Abernathy November 15, 2012 at 8:36 am

Opening doors for ladies = voter intimidation!

corthylio November 14, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I've never really cared to identify myself as as a feminist- I think of myself as a humanist.

Was it sexist for Obama to come to Rice's defense? I think he would have stuck up for a male in her position, but perhaps without sounding as protective. He wasn't at all condescending, though, and I think that's the key issue for many of us vag-Americans.

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I agree. I read it as him being defensive (in the good way), standing up for one of his team, rather than coming across as "the great, big MALE." Based on what I've seen of his relationship with the First Lady, Bamz has enormous respect for vagetarians.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Angry Black Man as White Knight? That'll play really well on Faux.

Redgyal November 14, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Sexism? Or sexyism? Huh?

corthylio November 14, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Do you think McCain & Graham were unconsciously trying to provoke Obama's alpha male display?

jello_mold November 14, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I didn't read sexisms in Obama's remarks. What I got is that OBAMA IS THE BEST BOSS IN THE WORLD.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 14, 2012 at 4:16 pm

You mean he bosses like a BOSS?

pac November 15, 2012 at 1:08 am

Maybe something he learned during the campaign, from The Boss.

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 4:04 pm

You want to criticize a shitty UN Ambassador? Two words: John Bolton.

Abernathy November 14, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Am I losing my sarcasm radar? Standing up for your political ally when a political opponent says they're shady is sexist but calling Paula Braodwell a skanky McSluttington who used her vagina dentata to ruin the glorious CIA isn't? Help me out here.

bobloblawlawblg November 15, 2012 at 8:11 am

this.

An_Outhouse November 14, 2012 at 4:05 pm

"Hey Ol'man – why you pickin' on girls? You want to pick on someone, you pick on me!

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 4:09 pm

I hope Barry grows him a big ass angry black man Afro for his second term. And then keeps one of those Afro picks in it, the kind with the Black Power fist at the end of the handle.

BadKitty904 November 14, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Who's the cat that won't cop out,
When McCain shoots off his mouth?
BAMZ!
Right on!

*cue some Isaac-Hayes-style funk*

sullivanst November 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm

He a bad muthashutyomouth.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm

You're damn right.

emmelemm November 14, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I'd die of joy.

BoatOfVelociraptors November 14, 2012 at 11:32 pm

I don't know. The grey hair would make him look like Cornel West with a better smile.

pac November 15, 2012 at 1:13 am

Hush yo mouth……

I'm only talkin' bout Bamz…..

Can you dig it?

(Love the fro and pick image)

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2012 at 8:36 am

I forgot to mention, need more dashiki-wearing too.

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 4:22 pm

"You're all Repub-men."
"What if we are?"
Obie pours the beer on the floor.
"You know kid, uhh, usually when someone pulls shit like that my first reaction is, uhh, I want to punch his fucking lights out. But you know something? You're all right!"

bobloblawlawblg November 14, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Disagree about the sexisms. I think he's just pissed that they lost the election because of douchebaggery, and yet continue to douchebag it all up on the Senate floor. Professorial instincts cannot compute such inanity.

outragedcitizen November 14, 2012 at 4:28 pm

When I first saw the story about Obama wanting Rice as his Sec of State my first thought was Condee Rice and I thought he'd lost his mind.

the_deliverator November 14, 2012 at 4:35 pm

ok, i wasn't the only one! i was freaking out there a bit too.

mrblifil November 14, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Ha! McCain still grumpy 4 years later and no vindication in sight before he lies down for his nice long dirt nap.

rocktonsam November 14, 2012 at 4:34 pm

""Watergate style investigation"
wasn't that against a repub president and his crooked henchman?
isn't this all about a general with his pants down with a gal who is as driven as he was?
fuck you Lindsey and walnuts your time is done and your act is warn out.didn't you get that on November 6th?

Wadisay November 14, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Barry needs to remember that he needs to punch up, not down–not easy when you're the PotUS. I would start by blaming God for Hurricane Sandy.

GlowneyHouse November 14, 2012 at 8:38 pm

With a hurricane centering over Tampa at Repub convention time and Sandy taking a bizarre path to stop Romney's momentum they were given divine proof not once but TWICE that Jehovah was pulling for the black man.

AddHomonym November 14, 2012 at 4:44 pm

So, is it sexist to open the door for a woman, or is it sexist not to open the door for a woman?

We're waiting.

BZ1 November 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Just remember who the former UN ambassador was: John.A. (A for A-hole). Bolton.

fuflans November 14, 2012 at 5:10 pm

miss lindsey better pick her battles carefully. she's enemy #1 on club for growth's 2014 list.

Boojum November 14, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Whether or not it is sexism, it is righteous for the guy with the power — the POTUS — to step up and defend the person who does not have the power against the two old biddies who think they have power and will therefore abuse it. Barry O. is my hero.

mustangsavvy November 14, 2012 at 5:27 pm

There's a new Bamz in town! That was so hawt, btw.

johnnyzhivago November 14, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Why the hell doesn't Obama pick on a MAN – instead of an oldster like McCain and a GIRL like Lindsay Graham?????

johnnyzhivago November 14, 2012 at 6:10 pm

McCain had to send a case of Ham Biscuits to Graham to even get him to go along with this nonsense.

LibrarianX November 14, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Who is going to change Senator McCain's diaper?

fawkedifiknow November 14, 2012 at 6:28 pm

So McCain is going to do everything in his power to prevent her appointment, huh? That's little more than someone like me making the same empty threat. Someone needs to tell that shriveled up old has-been that he doesn't have any clout, and neither does that mincing queen with him.

corthylio November 14, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Snark off- do any of you legal eagles think this show of hostility by Walnuts & Ham Biscuits has anything to do with the amicus brief they filed yesterday supporting Obama in Hedges v. Obama?

Snark back on- salted rat dicks having buttsechs or GTFO…

cybermoe November 14, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Yeah but can Susan Rice see Russia from her porch?

decentcitizen November 14, 2012 at 7:17 pm

I think it's more troubling that O has not been as confrontational on all his appointments, especially to the bench.

MozakiBlocks November 14, 2012 at 8:34 pm

I've…noticed…that…when…Barry…is…pretty…pissed…he…pauses…between…
words…and…enunciates…them…very…clearly…so…the…idiots…understand…what…he …means…

BoatOfVelociraptors November 14, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Please, proceed.

lulzmonger November 14, 2012 at 9:15 pm

MEMO TO TEH GOP: Someone is getting REALLY tired of your weak shit.

I think I'd be happier hearing "You've got a problem with me" from a Hell's Angel than a standing POTUS … at least until the Angels get their own drones.

bearperney November 14, 2012 at 10:02 pm

I am glad to see that we're going to see a different, and much more real, Obama in the 2nd term!

ttommyunger November 14, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Is Barry going to have to slap a bitch?

Negropolis November 15, 2012 at 12:11 am

Totally not getting the sexism angle. This is about McCain being the dick that he always was and trying to shit on another of Obama's election victories, and spouting egregious lies. This has nothing to do with Susan Rice being a woman, and really little to do with Susan Rice, at all. This is about an ongoing fued on John McCain's end.

This was a really strange angle of addressing this issue.

Negropolis November 15, 2012 at 12:22 am

Obama went after those bastards like black on rice.

But, in all seriousness, I hope that the president makes them regret picking this fight. It's time to start taking down some of the road blocks, and I care not about the means to go about doing this.

McCain is legendary for holding grudges. He hated Dubya's fucking guts, not for his ideology, but because he was beaten by him. I used to kind of like seeing him give Dubya a hard time, but I'm grown up, now, and see how stupid and petty this shit is. Time someone punched him in his rotten, little mouth…with votes.

yyyaz November 15, 2012 at 12:40 am

Depends. … Vitter's beyotches prolly would charge Walnuts more than they do Li'l Davey cuz nasty old man buttcrack smell, and all those wrinkles for the poo to hide in, etc.

dopper0189 November 15, 2012 at 5:19 am

It's not "full of poo" it's now "doody head", your so last year Rebecca!

Aquarianne17 November 16, 2012 at 7:26 am

Oh yeah, like McCain still has a light to punch out!

StillGoinGreen November 14, 2012 at 5:34 pm

A vagina after half an hour in a hot tub?

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