IN THE PINK  12:52 pm November 14, 2012

Fox News Furious: American Pie Actor Talked Real Icky About Ann Romney’s Butt

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Her nipples would probably be hairy too, if this fish-eagle hadn't eaten themHow come the liberal media never talks about stupid LIEBERALS warring on women, huh? It is like, one side is full of elected officials trying to make it legal for business owners to deny their workers slut pills and hating equal pay for equal work and loving rape, and the other side is an actor and probably Bill Maher saying gross things about Republican ladies’ butts, and how is it fair that these are not treated exactly the same? Fox News, as you would expect, is FURIOUS.

For a guy who’s most famous for having sex with a pie, you’d think his career could only improve. But for actor Jason Biggs, that hasn’t been the case. Biggs has been all over conservative media recently for saying foul things during the presidential campaign about Ann Romney and Janna Ryan. Nickelodeon has choosen the foul-mouthed comedian for voice work in a children’s cartoon.

But in the media, life gets better with a little help from your friends. In this case, it’s the Associated Press’s John Carucci who wrote about the star in a Nov. 13 article where he referred simply to Biggs’s “off-color comments” this year and let Biggs get away with saying, “I made a political tweet, so I got a little bit of heat from the right.”

That should be called journalistic fraud.

Raise your hands if you would like to read the foul things Jason Biggs said about Ann Romney and Janna Ryan! US TOO!

Earlier this year, Biggs tweeted about Paul Ryan, saying, “I bet there’s footage somewhere of Paul Ryan jerking off to a close-up photo of his widow’s peak. #RNC.”
Later Biggs made vile statements, described by the AP as simply “off color,” about Ryan’s wife, Janna. “I’d totes dip a pinky or two in Paul Ryan’s wife’s bleached a**hole ( she obvs bleaches her a**hole.) #RNC,” Biggs tweeted.
In response to that attack, one follower on Twitter asked him about Ann Romney in this exchange: “‘How dare you ignore Ann Romney’s a**hole. Ur un-American.’ Sorry ur right. I bet hers is un-bleached and hairy.”

And there you have it! One random American actor saying middlingly nasty things about Ann Romney’s hairy butthole is way worse than a party’s official platform actually trying to codify discrimination against women into law. Keep being you, Fox News!

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/11/14/ap-gives-actor-jason-biggs-pass-on-vile-comments-about-ann-romney-and-janna/#ixzz2CDhpzg67

 
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{ 240 comments }

SuspectedDemocrat November 14, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Sandra Fluke has a lot of explaining to do.

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 12:54 pm

"Vile" is an under-used descriptor in our national political dialogue

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 1:18 pm

So is propinquity.

calliecallie November 14, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Brian williams used both canard and euphemism in the same segment of his broadcast one day last week. I was elated.

fatbob54 November 14, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Is there a euphemism for canard?

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Duck!

elviouslyqueer November 14, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Grief_Lessons November 14, 2012 at 1:52 pm

'Tis better to be vile than vile esteem'd

Serolf_Divad November 14, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Let's face it: probably not a good idea for the DNC to have chosen this guy to give the keynote at the Democratic Convention. No sane person would give two shits otherwise.

NorthStarSpanx November 14, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Ann Romney needs a cackle of rads to come to her defense the way a fish needs a bicycle or whatnot.

bolognawallet November 14, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I'd say she needs it like another hole…

Biff November 14, 2012 at 2:27 pm

In addition to mittens, you mean?

corthylio November 14, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Tagg libel!

snowpointsecret November 14, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Pie: The ratio of the radial extent of their lies in proportion to their viewership.

yrbmegr November 15, 2012 at 7:42 am

And note that pie varies with the density of their bullshit, according to the General Theory of Right-Wing Propaganda.

WhatTheHolyHeck November 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Well, now the American People deserve to know, Egg. You could have let it go with grace and tact, but noooooo.

Now we all want to know if you wax and bleach Inspector One-Eye. Fess up.

Lascauxcaveman November 14, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I agree, it's time for America to have this urgent national dialogue. Only then can we move on to secondary matters, such as addressing global climate change and restoring equitability to our tax system.

WhatTheHolyHeck November 14, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Why does Ann Romney hate freedom?!?

vtxmcrider November 14, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Isn't the magic underwear supposed to create an airtight seal around her cyclops, causing the hair to die?

JohnnyQuick November 14, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Is this bleaching of arscholes some sort of California thing? Because in DC, all the assholes are already white.

SoBeach November 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Any celebrity tweeting anything like that about anybody is an idiot.

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I'm surprised this guy didn't call Egg's asshole "Hitler."

Shypixel November 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm

hahaha – hairy women buttholes – that's some funny stuff right there!

Mumbletypeg November 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm

“I bet there’s footage somewhere of Paul Ryan jerking off to a close-up photo of his widow’s peak. #RNC.”

Weak sauce, Mr. Biggs. Ryan is aerobicizing half the time in a mirrored gym or man-cave rocking out to Foreigner's "Hot Blooded", he needs no correctives on what his fungible assets are.

Spurning Beer November 14, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Paul puts the "fun" in fungible.

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Or the "bull"

freakishlywrong November 14, 2012 at 1:22 pm

P90-LOST, bitchez.

Lot_49 November 14, 2012 at 12:58 pm

The fappability quotient of this blog is reaching new, lower depths.

There've got to be some nudie, nipple-slip or upskirt shots of those Lebanese babes somewhere.

LesBontemps November 14, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I come here for the side-boob.

sullivanst November 14, 2012 at 1:17 pm

And stay for the buttsechs?

LesBontemps November 14, 2012 at 1:22 pm

And the furious fapping, also too.

vtxmcrider November 14, 2012 at 4:16 pm

With Egg it is much easier to fap to the fish on her t-shirt than to anything about her personally.

SexySmurf November 14, 2012 at 12:58 pm

One time at dressage camp, Ann Romney stuck a riding crop in her un-bleached and hairy asshole.

natoslug November 14, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Her hairy asshole prefers spray-tan to bleach. At least when he's appearing on Univision.

ibwilliamsi November 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

To be fair, Ann's hairy asshole appeared to have coiffed his hair and shaved in addition to the spray tan (nice goggle lines) before he appeared on Univision.

ManchuCandidate November 14, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Or there was this one time at Romney Campaign…

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 12:58 pm

This is a real shocker.

bobbert November 14, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Aha.

Gleem McShineys November 14, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Digitally speaking, this didn't penetrate all that far.

BarackMyWorld November 14, 2012 at 12:59 pm

I just realized what Biggs said may have been the only thing written about Mrs. Ryan during the entire campaign.

anniegetyerfun November 14, 2012 at 1:01 pm

She seemed like a nice enough lady, so I could never think of anything to say.

BarackMyWorld November 14, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Also what I inferred from watching her silently stand there, waving and not saying anything. Its like someone decided she seemed to innocent to treat the way they normally do politician's spouses. If that's a new trend, I'm all for it.

prommie November 14, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Holy OT Shit, this Jill Kelley has the KaRazeee bad!

"Audiotapes of several 911 calls placed by Florida socialite Jill Kelley as the media descended on her Tampa home show she complained about what she considered trespassing on her property and attempted to invoke diplomatic-type privileges.
“I am an honorary consul general, so I have inviolability,” Kelley told a 911 dispatcher. “They should not be able to cross my property. I don’t know if you want to get diplomatic protection involved as well?”
A South Korean official confirmed to NBC News that Kelley is an honorary consul for South Korea, but said she has no diplomatic immunity. He said Kelley assists the consulate based in Atlanta on occasion with things like passports and visas but is not an employee.
The U.S. State Department said Kelley has no formal affiliation with that U.S. agency."

ManchuCandidate November 14, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Didn't she see Lethal Weapon 2?

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 1:19 pm

"….is revoked!"

OzoneTom November 14, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Where's the part about her hairy asshole?

SuspectedDemocrat November 14, 2012 at 1:11 pm

The hairy asshole has diplomatic immunity. Wait, is John Bolton still ambassador?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 1:32 pm

He is FOX News ambassador to the world.

Beowoof November 14, 2012 at 6:46 pm

He is America's hairy asshole.

hillarysleftone November 14, 2012 at 1:36 pm

she actually said "counsel general" which for some reason struck just the perfect fucking grace note, what with the "inviolability" and all.

herecomedajudge November 14, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Hey, Nixon made Elvis an honorary DEA agent….you know, suspicious minds, and all that shit. Makes sense to me

arduinohacker November 14, 2012 at 2:09 pm

>A South Korean official confirmed to NBC News that Kelley is an honorary consul …

You know who else wrote about an "an honorary consul?"

corthylio November 14, 2012 at 2:52 pm

The sad thing is that this means her "Gangnam Style" cover will be on YouTube soon, if it isn't already…

deanbooth November 14, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Does she or doesn't she? Only her hairdresser knows for sure.

Braids, maybe?

fatbob54 November 14, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I'm guessing she has sparkly dingleberries for christmas.

OneDollarJuana November 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I think it's made up into a bun.

gullywompr November 14, 2012 at 12:59 pm

What? No comments on Mooshel's orifices? Racist…

ChillBill November 14, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Ergo, Obama is fully responsible for the Benghazi Consulate attack.

TootsStansbury November 14, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Egg Romney doesn't have a butthole; she has people to do hee pooping for her, thank you very much.

Tommy1733 November 14, 2012 at 1:58 pm

"Don't fool yourself, girl it's winkin' at you…"

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Awww, I knew you'd be surprised!

Beowoof November 14, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Gonna ram it ram it right up your poop chute.

Goonemeritus November 14, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Did people speculate about Martha Washington’s A**hole? We need to get back to the historic levels of civility where Representatives were free to settle their differences by beating one another to death with canes right on the house floor.

LesBontemps November 14, 2012 at 1:07 pm

You mean George?

Geminisunmars November 14, 2012 at 1:09 pm

To this day.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Martha's wasn't hairy, as it was made out of wood.

AlterNewt November 14, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Did not know that.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 1:49 pm

See what you can learn from the Internets.

AlterNewt November 14, 2012 at 2:05 pm

It's a wonderful world of discovery.

GunToting[Redacted] November 14, 2012 at 1:55 pm

I thought it was made of gold and ivory.

Negropolis November 15, 2012 at 1:12 am

Senate/Upper House Libel!

Estproph November 14, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Jason who?

No, wait. I got that wrong. Fox who?

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 1:00 pm

To be honest, "Candidate's Spouse's Sphincter Care Regimen" is pretty low on the list of qualities that determine how I vote.

Jus_Wonderin November 14, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Low? Or slightly below waist high?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Further proof that American's don't know what the real issues facing this country are.

OneDollarJuana November 14, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I think that was a recent topic on Katie Couric's show.

Crank_Tango November 14, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Pretty low, but still on the list.

anniegetyerfun November 14, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Eh, it's offensive enough. If someone said the same thing about Michelle Obama's anus, I'd be pissed off on her behalf.

pdiddycornchips November 14, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Agreed, Twitter, the most useless invention in the history of mankind.

Lascauxcaveman November 14, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Unfunny people need a place to crack their unfunny jokes. Potty humor is always going to be in people's minds; it needs an outlet.

Just think of Twitter as a sewer.

TheGyrus November 14, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Even if it was someone you barely remember from a movie 15 years ago?

imissopus November 14, 2012 at 1:59 pm

That's pretty much the GOP's entire celebrity stable.

anniegetyerfun November 14, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Sure. I get mad at less prominent, nameless wingnut jackoffs when they say something incredibly sexist or racist about the Obamas. I don't think discussing a woman's personal parts is in good… uh, taste. I'm not suggesting that Biggs be stoned to death, but I think he's a goddamned idiot.

HogeyeGrex November 14, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Careful now. You're treading the dangerous waters of moral consistency.

anniegetyerfun November 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I'm not sure if I am being consistent, because I'm sure I've said horrible things about conservative women here on teh Wonkette. I'm hoping I left their fannies out of it, but I can't swear that I always did.

bobbert November 14, 2012 at 4:06 pm

This.

BTW, how's babygetyourfun?

anniegetyerfun November 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

And thank you for asking!

poorgradstudent November 14, 2012 at 4:54 pm

And who was and presumably still is a total ugmo, also, too.

fuflans November 14, 2012 at 7:46 pm

and stupid. just plain fucking stupid.

i hate plain fucking stupid.

iburl November 14, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Dustin "Screech" Diamond, are you just going to sit there and let Jason Biggs take your "most unbelievably disgusting and annoying white boy that instantly ruins everything he appears in" title? I say you have a duel.

anniegetyerfun November 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm

To the death! With votes.

Tequila Mockingbird November 14, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I can just imagine Petreaus banging Paula Broadwell in fake German accents:

"Herr general…. blitzgreig me!"
"Ja wohl, mein pookie bear!"
"On zee desk!"
"You vill be mein, Pooland, und I vill be die panzer!"

See? It is never okay to divulge crass fantasies about political figures.

elviouslyqueer November 14, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Yes! Yes! Say it! He… vas… my… BOYFRIEND!

keepwalkin November 14, 2012 at 1:01 pm

WTF is UP with that woman's head/face?!

Last time I saw something so big and round was at Palace Bowling Lanes.

Mittens Howell, III November 14, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Entitlement bloat.

DogWhisperer November 14, 2012 at 1:32 pm

That is called Moon Face. It is a side effect of Prednisone. She probably took a lot of it for M.S.

Clancy_Pants November 14, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Man, that dude is really vile!

-T. Nugent

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Ted Nugent vs. Jason Biggs, in a death match to decide the real president, Live, on FOX!

ManchuCandidate November 14, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Come on Faux Newz, the guy fucked a pie for laughs.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 1:39 pm

And who hasn't. It is the only way Steve Doocy gets any.

Beowoof November 14, 2012 at 6:51 pm

I don't know, I can the pie dropping itself on the floor to get away from that.

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Hey, Fox, if you want to see some truly vile stuff being said about the people on your side of the aisle, go to Intense Debate and "follow" BaldarTFlagass.

Not_So_Much November 14, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Fox is really sucking at turning back towards the Center and reporting on actual, you know, "things".

amoamas November 14, 2012 at 1:02 pm

*raises hand*

memzilla November 14, 2012 at 1:04 pm

However, Faux News retains its dominance in both a**hole-share and anal-fistula-share. That's bipartisanship you can believe in.

Lizzietish81 November 14, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Unfunny actor says something stupid and unfunny about a pure bred Republican Woman, only Fox News cares. They're right though, women in this country have been duped, I mean yeah Romney and Ryan wanted to take away our health care, shut down Planned Parenthood, put new restrictions on birth control, do nothing about the wage gap, didn't support the violence against women act and supported white guys who made comments about Rape not being a big deal…

But they are gentlemen about it, and nary would you see a Republican Entertainer make an offensive remark about a liberal woman or her orifices! And if you did, he only meant it as a joke.

memzilla November 14, 2012 at 1:09 pm

… and would apologize to you for your being offended.

sullivanst November 14, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Conditionally, of course.

Defeatably_Joe November 14, 2012 at 1:54 pm

But they are gentlemen about it, and nary would you see a Republican Entertainer make an offensive remark about a liberal woman or her orifices!

And if she was offended, that would make her a SLUT, right?

Mittens Howell, III November 14, 2012 at 1:05 pm

After months of enduring the Romney/Ryan show I'm done with bleached assholes.

fatbob54 November 14, 2012 at 1:36 pm

And speaking of bleached assholes, what's the deal with the fox news bimbos?

Mittens Howell, III November 14, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Jerry?

anniegetyerfun November 14, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Although Romney was occasionally known to show up at debates looking… tanned? Orange, really.

JustPixelz November 14, 2012 at 1:06 pm

He should have stayed with the bounds of acceptable right-wing speech and just said she's uppity.

Ground Zero Mostel November 14, 2012 at 1:36 pm

or fat
or angry
or hates America

frostbitefalls November 14, 2012 at 1:06 pm

These sexist comments have pushed me over the edge. I will vote Republican for the rest of my life.

snowpointsecret November 14, 2012 at 1:07 pm

When it comes to Democratic votes, Republicans have ways of shutting the whole thing down.

memzilla November 14, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I wish there was an "Intelligence" button on my tee vee. There's one that says "Brightness" but it doesn't work.

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Her? Again?

I thought the whole point behind beating her husband like a rented mule was to get her the hell off my Wonkette!

Both Sides Do It November 14, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I don't think the frame for this story is right.

Fox News isn't upset Biggs said this about women. They're upset he said it about rich people.

When they say, "And, thanks to AP’s press-release journalism, no one really holds Biggs accountable." they don't want Biggs held to account for misogyny, they want him held to account for making fun of our economic betters. (That Biggs is richer than the Ryans would normally give him rich person immunity for kicking down at one of his inferiors, but he did it in front of the hoi polloi, which is inexcusable.)

Fox is a massively hypocritical misogynistic shitehole, of course, but they were animated more by the First Law of Reactionary Propaganda ("protect the image of the rich at all costs") rather than the Third ("prosecute and cover-up the conservative war on women's autonomy"), I think.

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Ann's butt has to be that big.She may not have been born with a silver spoon in her ass,but now she can fit a 20 person silver service set in it.

owhatever November 14, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Frank Luntz is running a focus group on the thundering butthole issue tonight, followed by Sean's panel of real Americans: Karl Rove, Dick Morris and Alan King.

EatsBabyDingos November 14, 2012 at 1:08 pm

I heard Eggs likes to ride the waves on her board in Malibu, then hit the bong and crank her favorite band, the Hairy Butthole Surfers. Wearing a Snookie mask.

LesBontemps November 14, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Gibby libel!

EatsBabyDingos November 14, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Ironic, given a "gibby" is a vagina in Canada.

Chow Yun Flat November 14, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Jason Biggs is an idiot means that Romney should be president.

Works for me.

LesBontemps November 14, 2012 at 1:09 pm

You know what Ann Romney and Janna Ryan did with their assholes? They sent them out to run for office.

calliecallie November 14, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Well said.

Tommy1733 November 14, 2012 at 1:59 pm

BEAUTIFUL!!!

HogeyeGrex November 14, 2012 at 2:55 pm

*golf clap*

I was going to say:

she obvs bleaches her a**hole.

Untrue! His hair is quite dark!

neiltheblaze November 14, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I have to honestly admit that before this I never thought about Ann Romney's asshole. Other than assuming that title was held by Mitt.

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Biggs has been all over conservative media recently for saying foul things during the presidential campaign about Ann Romney and Janna Ryan. Nickelodeon has choosen the foul-mouthed comedian for voice work in a children’s cartoon.

Because goodness knows the difference between a cartoon character and a FOX anchor is…errrr, precisely what, again?

memzilla November 14, 2012 at 1:14 pm

The cartoon character has union representation. Next question?

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Actually, FOX anchors are SAG-AFTRA

I'm so embarrassed.

emmelemm November 14, 2012 at 1:26 pm

No, it's they who should be embarrassed.

snowpointsecret November 14, 2012 at 1:16 pm

The cartoon character is more accurate at reporting the news?

Mittens Howell, III November 14, 2012 at 1:09 pm

How would Jason Biggs like it if we made fun of his pie-wives? Huh? HUH??

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 2:04 pm

If he was Mormon, those would be pie sisters.

Shypixel November 14, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Don't you DARE start saying anything bad about Alyson Hannigan.

GhostBuggy November 14, 2012 at 5:59 pm

May we say things about her butthole? Because I bet it's just ADORABLE.

elviouslyqueer November 14, 2012 at 1:09 pm

So many shits, and yet so little time to give them.

freakishlywrong November 14, 2012 at 1:10 pm

That's Eggs hairy butthole on that blouse, right? (It's buttfucking ugly, that blouse).

Chow Yun Flat November 14, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Ann Romney may not be the whitest woman in the United States of Amerikkka but she must be in the top two.

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Shypixel November 14, 2012 at 2:13 pm

You know what? Fuck cracked.com for paginating all their content to get more pageviews…

(sorry, I work in the industry, pet peeve. But imagine if our Wonkette broke their posts into three pages for no reason…)

TribecaMike November 14, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Thanks. O Katie Willert's deviliciously multi-talented ta ta's, where are you when I need you?

SuspectedDemocrat November 14, 2012 at 2:53 pm

you know who else…?

And to think, if Walt Disney had let Hitler do cartoon voice overs, the Holocaust might have been prevented.

oenspiek November 14, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Someone who possibly voted for Obama-Biden made off-colour remarks about opposing candidates' wives.

This is worse than Hitler and My Mother, the Car, combined!!!1!(one)!1! IMPEEEEEEACH!!!1!

LesBontemps November 14, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Never thought of that combination, but yeah, that's pretty bad.

Steverino247 November 14, 2012 at 1:12 pm

What I want to know is if they swallow or spit. My guesses:

Egg doesn't get her face anywhere near Little Mitt while Janna really wants to, but jerks her head back, sputtering, at the critical moment because the grossness factor overrides her sincere desire to please her husband in that special way.

freakishlywrong November 14, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Gross.

sullivanst November 14, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Excuse me, Fox News, but you might wish to note that John Carucci's job title at AP appears to be "Entertainment TV Producer".

I know you guys have long pretended your entertainment empire is in fact a news organization, but have you now reached the point of forgetting that anyone else believes there should be a distinction?

GregComlish November 14, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I am the only one here who thinks Jason Biggs is probably right?

vtxmcrider November 14, 2012 at 4:36 pm

No. Imagine how repulsive Egg's hairy butthole must be after she has been rubbing and bouncing it around on Rafalca's back all day with her very special Romney buttplug (which consists of a tightly wrapped tube of $100 bills).

barto November 14, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Be sure to catch Clint addressing an empty pie tray at the next RNC!

SuspectedDemocrat November 14, 2012 at 1:14 pm

This whole controversy could be settled with a state-mandated trans-vaginal probe.

weejee November 14, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Is that what Bogey meant when he said, "here's looking at you kid" ?

Mittens Howell, III November 14, 2012 at 1:25 pm

"Here's looking at your kidneys"

cousinitt November 14, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Mmmmmmm, pie!

Cherry?

freakishlywrong November 14, 2012 at 1:27 pm

I like pie.

emmelemm November 14, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Apple, actually.

SheriffJoeBiden November 14, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Now editrix, let's be fair. The right doesn't love rape. They love rape BABIES. It's just like spring showers are bad, but flowers are good. Does that metaphor help your female brain to understand?

Lizzietish81 November 14, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Correction, they love rape fetuses.

The Babies are a bunch of non tax paying moochers who WANT STUFF!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm

But God loves rape, and Republican's love God, so they must love rape.

QED.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Some times I lose all hope for this country. It's not like Egg or the other one ever did a Commie Muslim fist bump or anything like that which FOX found worth reporting. For shame America! For shame!

weejee November 14, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Lou Sarah's posterior is feeling neglected. Tweetrant in 3, 2, 1.

SuspectedDemocrat November 14, 2012 at 1:20 pm

BLEACH LIBEL!

Troglodeity November 14, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Well, obviously every liberal there is must be thinking exactly the same thing as this celebrity when he says something offensive, because we all think exactly like him. That's why we proudly call ourselves us "Dittoheads."

ph7 November 14, 2012 at 1:18 pm

That tweet was a taint on Egg's image.

vtxmcrider November 14, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Or it gave us an image of Egg's taint, which is far worse.

widestanceromance November 14, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I think we've seen and heard quite enough about and from her hairy asshole.

He lost, OK?

MissTaken November 14, 2012 at 1:22 pm

There is not enough brain bleach to clean the thought of Egg's lack of anal bleach from my brain.

weejee November 14, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Imagine Mitch McConnell fapping to a photo of a pile hundred dollar bills. See, now your thoughts about Egg's fundament have vanished. Good luck with that image of the Turtlebator.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm

How much anal bleach will it take?

Or am I not helping?

Crank_Tango November 14, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Try some Acme brand Brainal bleach. It's multifasseted!

Poindexter718 November 14, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Egg Romney on public speculation about her hairy sphincter: "Stop it! This is hard."

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 14, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I'm pretty sure we aren't suppose to have to look at that this face ever again, much less have to think about it's hairy butthole.

Mittens Howell, III November 14, 2012 at 1:24 pm

'A Pie Fucker's Guide To Women.' Yeah. That's a book I need to read.

1stNewtontheMoon November 14, 2012 at 1:29 pm

End the War on Bleached Assholes!!

elviouslyqueer November 14, 2012 at 1:31 pm

[Fox News] Editor’s note: This opinion piece contains material some might find offensive.

WOW. Self-awareness? At Fox News? *clutches chest, looks heavenward, tells Elizabeth I'm coming to join her*

BoatOfVelociraptors November 14, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Catchy song. I wonder how it would sound with the R-word.

Zango Crudmonger November 14, 2012 at 2:44 pm

I believe Rectum is kosher on the Wonkette. Not so much other places. Perhaps you were thinking of another R-word?

SayItWithWookies November 14, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Jason Biggs wins the battle with FOX News, since now I've heard of him. Of course I won't remember his name in about five minutes, but that's the nature of the news cycle — one day you're famous for having sex with a pie, and then ten years later nobody gives a shit who you were except some people on Fox.

MissTaken November 14, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I heard under Obamacare employers will be forced to pay for their employees' anal bleach, even if it's against their religious beliefs.

SorosBot November 14, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Will they pay for brain bleach to wash the image of Ann Romney's ass out of our heads too?

MissTaken November 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm

They better!

glasspusher November 14, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Took the words right out of my mouth.

imissopus November 14, 2012 at 1:55 pm

No no, Obama would never make employers pay for something that makes their employees more white. Romneycare, on the other hand…

TribecaMike November 14, 2012 at 1:36 pm

It's large scale events like Ann's keister size that cause Glenn Beck to proclaim that America must be destroyed because we're "so dead inside that they can no longer see the difference between good and evil."
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/beck-if-ame

"They," Glenn? We're all up in this together pal!

Native_of_SL_UT November 14, 2012 at 1:39 pm

This is all Lenny Bruce's fault. If he had just shut the fuck up like he told to many years ago, none of this would have happened.
And Wonkette never would have existed.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I think we are all missing the big picture. If the Democratic party loses Jason Biggs, they lose all of their intellectual power.

AlterNewt November 14, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Twitter: Global High School

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 1:48 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nTcDU73gLs

No more really need be said.

bobbert November 14, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Jesus, 1989. Timbuk3. I am old.

Pithaughn November 14, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I am very hungry, how do I get a lunch pass from AP?

Not_Mother November 14, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Breaking: Chuck Toad is still a hairy asshole.

TribecaMike November 14, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Last night he said some sensible things. Oh wait, that was a Scooter Store commercial.

James Michael Curley November 14, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I thought that was Reddi-Whip.

imissopus November 14, 2012 at 2:01 pm

OMG if only the media had reported this much more before last Tuesday, I'm sure it would have swung the election.

Exhausted66 November 14, 2012 at 2:01 pm

If Biggs had threatened to put a machine gun up said hairy asshole, Mike Huckabee woulda slapped the bass for him on his next show.
Assuming Huck still has a show.

Lot_49 November 14, 2012 at 2:04 pm

You people have once again proven yourselves unworthy of seeing more than one of Mitt's tax returns.

Blueb4sinrise November 14, 2012 at 2:06 pm

So is that a photo of Ann's ass?
Assa dentata?

kyeshinka November 14, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Today we are ALL bleached assholes.

magic_titty November 14, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Jason Biggs has time to Twitter? Doesn't he have some auditions to not get callbacks from?

DixvilleCrotch November 14, 2012 at 2:09 pm

What's vile about pinky-ass-banging Ryan's wife, and then with the same finger switching over to Ann? I fail to see it.

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2012 at 2:13 pm

"guy who’s most famous for having sex with a pie"

Not anymore, at least not in Foxworld. Now he's the guy who's most famous for talking about prominent Republican wives' assholes.

glasspusher November 14, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Now I know I have the olds. I read the title of this post and immediately thought of Don McLean.

Nostrildamus November 14, 2012 at 2:16 pm

"unbleached and hairy"

Mitt has it in for the brownz.

LibertyLover November 14, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I know that Right Wingnuttia hates Sesame Street and all, but they might just learn something if they watch that game: "One of these things is not like the others."

TribecaMike November 14, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Hollywood needs less blackface and more black faces, carnsarnit.

LibrarianX November 14, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Christ on a stick- what is she wearing????

Lizzietish81 November 14, 2012 at 2:28 pm

A fish. Duh.

UnionSpies November 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Nah, I think it's a budgie.

TribecaMike November 14, 2012 at 5:41 pm

A Masonic apron?

DahBoner November 14, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Ahh…we've come full circle back around to 2004 Margaret Cho's Anal Bleaching…

glamourdammerung November 14, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Who gives a shit?

This guy is an actor that has nothing to do with the Democratic Party and to suggest that they are "just the same" as Republicans like Limbaugh (who gives speeches at their conventions) or any of their elected officials is just stretching the truth to play the false equivalency card. Again.

Furthermore, if the Republican nonsense was not offensive, they would not have to keep trying to pull garbage like this to try to distract everyone about it.

HarryButtle November 14, 2012 at 2:31 pm

So, the guy who got famous faux-fucking a pie isn't too classy? Really?

cognachas4paws November 14, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Good heavens, that shirt is more offensive than those tweets. Woof.

ibwilliamsi November 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm

So, Ann has a butt-stache?

smokefilledroommate November 14, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I always thought Ann looked like a fart-smeller. Maybe she's just smelling her own damn stanky egg-ass.

Manhattan123 November 14, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Has Kathryn Jean Lopez's head exploded yet? Please.

Negropolis November 15, 2012 at 1:20 am

Yes, many times. But, who am I to judge what she does in the privacy of her bedroom with a poster of Robert Pattinson?

rocktonsam November 14, 2012 at 4:55 pm

mmmmmmmm pie sex

poorgradstudent November 14, 2012 at 4:56 pm

I agree it was unfunny and crass, but…vile? It's not vile unless you at least breach "'70s Italian exploitation flick" levels.

vtxmcrider November 14, 2012 at 4:59 pm

It is always funny if it riles Republicans.

Cleopatriot November 14, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Oh come on–the election's over. We really don't have to look at her anymore, right?

Gleem McShineys November 14, 2012 at 6:20 pm

As a Republican outrage method

"Death Panels" — pretty effective
"Terrorist Fist-Bumps" — reasonably effective
"Bill Ayers" — mildly effective
"Ann Romney's Anus" — not so good

Gleem McShineys November 14, 2012 at 6:25 pm

We here at Wonkette are some of the most juvenile crass bastards ever to put imaginary pinkies up poopchutes, and I still don't think any of us have ever made comments as lame and unfunny as Jason Biggs.

Gleem McShineys November 14, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Shorter FOX:

BUTTHOLE CRITICISM STINKS

TribecaMike November 14, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Now that Mitt has installed sliding windows in his jet, this should be the last we ever hear about those clowns.

CivicHoliday November 14, 2012 at 8:46 pm

"Say my name BITCH" – "Egg McMuffin! Egg McMuffin!"

Cheneysleftnut November 14, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Is it just me or is that the ugliest shirt ever?

ttommyunger November 14, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Mitt's on the other hand is white, lilly white, bleached white, as white as driven snow; just like the rest of him.

Swampgas_Man November 14, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Late news. Malkin demanded a boycott against Biggs and his turtle cartoon MONTHS ago over this. Yeah, I know — who the hell pays attention to Malkin? Well, she's in my local fishwrap, so I'm STUCK w/ her, that's who!

Negropolis November 15, 2012 at 1:05 am

I'm starting to think that maybe Mr. Biggs has a fetish or something…

The tweet about Paul Ryan was pretty funny, because it's obviously true. The others? Meh.

BTW, I didn't know that Jason Biggs was a comedian.

BeefHardcake November 15, 2012 at 7:04 am

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH BIRD FISH EYES EATING MY BRAINS

Superabound1 November 17, 2012 at 2:39 pm

As someone who has portrayed Jewish characters in several major Hollywood movies, i believe that Jason Biggs has a right to self-determination and self-defense. He should be allowed to fire verbal rockets wherever he wants, as often and as far as he wants. And if Fox News disagrees well then i guess theyre just all a bunch of antisemites.

emmelemm November 14, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Do not think of a pink elephant.

actor212 November 14, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Well played sir…

*steepling fingers, pondering vengeance*

thebeatgoeson November 14, 2012 at 9:43 pm

LOL! That is all.

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