party of personal responsibility

Tea Party Learns Its Painful Electoral Lesson: That Mitt Romney Was Too Moderate

Tea Party "Activists"It is so much fun to watch the Party of Personal Responsibility point fingers and self-implode, isn’t it? It certainly is! Today’s finger-pointing blame-game session comes courtesy the Tea Party, which has engaged in about a week of sober reflection and concluded that the GOP lost because Mitt was too moderate. No, really:

Tea party supporters are angry at the GOP for embracing as its presidential nominee a “moderate” like Romney. For undermining “true conservative” candidates. And for “choosing to ignore” the conservative agenda.


After we are all done laughing at the absurdity of this assessment, let’s think about what this really means. It means that, to Tea Partiers, a pro-lifer who supports a personhood amendment is a moderate. A fiscal conservative who wants to eradicate FEMA is a moderate. If this is a moderate, we’re morbidly curious as to what a True Conservative looks like. But anyway, the Tea Party wants everyone in charge of the GOP to quit because they are incompetent buffoons, and we agree with that, but a stopped clock is right twice a day so we aren’t putting too much stock in it.

Wednesday, the political direct-mail pioneer Richard Viguerie gathered a group of disenchanted conservatives for a news conference in Washington. Calling Romney’s loss “the death rattle” of the GOP, Viguerie, chairman of ConservativeHQ.com…called upon the Republican leadership to resign for its part in the “epic election failure of 2012.”

[…]

“In any logical universe,” Viguerie said, “establishment Republican consultants such as Karl Rove, Ed Gillespie and Romney campaign senior advisors Stuart Stevens and Neil Newhouse would never be hired to run or consult on a national campaign again and no one would give a dime to their ineffective ‘super PACs.'”

Yes, but the Party of Personal Responsibility doesn’t ever TAKE personal responsibility, because Personal Responsibility is for Sluts and Poors. It is not for the likes of KARL ROVE, duh, or for the Establishment, which is in turn blaming the Tea Party et al. for GOP losses last week:

Viguerie’s attack didn’t sit well with many mainline Republicans, who blamed conservative “purists” and the tea party wing of the party for squandering the GOP’s chance to regain control of the Senate.

Friday, for instance, conservative columnist Michael Barone told an audience at Hillsdale College’s center in Washington that the tea party, while bringing some talented politicians to the fore, also brought some “wackos and weirdos and witches.”

In a video of his comments, posted on the Daily Caller website, he singled out the GOP’s losing Senate candidates in Missouri and Indiana — Todd Akin and Richard Mourdock — who he said committed “unforced errors” with their remarks against abortion cases of rape. “Don’t nominate dogs, OK?,” he said.

Shhh. Nobody tell Michael Barone but these “wackos” and “weirdos” and “witches,” including Akin and Mourdock, were simply toeing the Republican party platform, which calls for a Personhood Amendment. The logical consequence of that amendment would be to deny rape victims the right to abortion, so we’re not sure what the problem is here. Other than the fact that these “wackos” and “weirdos” and “witches” made the mistake of saying what so many of them think. But you know who can fix all of this is a union-leader-turned-President who raised taxes 11 times while he was in office, ratified a UN Convention on torture, expanded Social Security, and funded Planned Parenthood:

At Viguerie’s news conference, Jenny Beth Martin, national coordinator of the Tea Party Patriots, one of the country’s largest tea party groups, said conservatives had wanted a candidate like President Reagan. “What we got was a weak moderate candidate handpicked by the Beltway elites and country-club establishment wing of the Republican Party. The presidential loss is unequivocally on them,” she said.

[LA Times]

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson

Comments

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  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Tea party supporters are angry at the GOP for embracing as its presidential nominee a “moderate” like Romney. For undermining “true conservative” candidates. And for “choosing to ignore” the conservative agenda."

    Maybe they'll pick up 25% of the vote; is that what they are aiming for?

    • BadKitty904

      Plus they're going to have a hard time getting Hitler to run for office.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Nah uh! He's tanned, rested, and ready!

        • Kid_Charlemagne

          Is Generalissimo Francisco Franco still dead?

    • Terry

      Personally, I hope they keep doing the exact same thing they have been…totally f'ing up the GOP primaries and producing Republican nominees who are certifiably insane. In a few election cycles, they'll be dreaming of the days when they could pull as much as 25% of the vote.

      • Rotundo_

        Demographics are helping greatly with this process. The supply of pissed-off white men is dwindling down, and folks with other ideas are filling the void. It isn't like there is suddenly going to be a population explosion of old white people so stupid they will vote against their own interests because somewhere, somehow someone of color might possibly benefit or even be spared starvation or something.

    • memzilla

      Man, at this rate, my schadenfreude is gonna last right through Blovember, Dicktember, Glanduary, and Fapuary.

      • schvitzatura

        Waiting for the next morally upright, "wide-stance" GOPer to have his day in the sun, out of the closet…it's been a while and just about due any day.

    • Callyson

      Democratic Party supporters are thrilled with the Tea Party for embracing as its preferred presidential nominee someone who is even more of a wingnut than Romney. For pushing “true conservative” candidates. And for “choosing to ignore” the American people's opinions.

      /also, too

  • AlterNewt

    Darwin smiles.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Goebbels is grinning too, also.

      • AlterNewt

        I like to think that Jesus is giggling to himself, just a little bit.

        • emberglance

          even Atlas permits himself a quick smirk.

    • TribecaMike

      How can you tell behind all that Victorian Era facial hair?

  • BadKitty904

    For me, one of the biggest mysteries of the Teabaggers is where they get those stupid-ass costumes from…

    • SmutBoffin

      You DON'T have a closet full of frilly cravats and frock coats? Huh.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I never wear them in the daylight!

    • Terry

      You can actually buy reproduction outfits at places like Williamsburg, but I suspect that these folks are shopping at Tea Baggers R Us on the internet.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      If it's Patriot's Day in Boston and you're wearing it to get free drinks, okay. Otherwise… not so much.

    • 216stitches

      China.

    • Tequila Mockingbird

      the K-K-Kmart.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Oh, I say. Well done!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Prince Discount Warehouse?

    • CommieLibunatic

      At the very least, Mrs. Commie and I have cool stupid costumes, being mid-tier cosplayers and WoW fans. And MADE (mostly) IN THE USA, you mouth-breathing crpyto-fascists!

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Fuck Ronald Reagan. I mean, fuck him already.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      My kids, who were both born when he was president, have always called him the "yucko man" because we had this doormat with his face on it, so it was always yucko.

    • PhilippePetain

      Ha, the only people that still remember him positively are in their demographic. I don't think they understand this.

    • hagajim

      I think they want to

    • Rotundo_

      Mittens is just as empty a suit as Ronaldus Maximus was: The only reason he was worshipped is he won. Had Mittens managed to steal the election, he would be a "Heroic Conservative Icon" as well, so long as he maintained enough dexterity to sign the bills. Both were Grover Norquists' wet dreams.

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    Now we're in the finger pointing stage of butthurt.

    • BadKitty904

      Jeez, how many more stages did Kübler-Ross say there were?

      • Mapmonger

        Forget Kübler-Ross. We've got Dunning-Kruger in full effect at every level on the right.

      • SorosBot

        I think it's:
        1. Denial
        2. Denial
        3. Anger
        4. Anger
        5. ANGER
        6. Aneurism or heart attack

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          You missed 7) Fisting the corpse

          • Loch_Nessosaur

            That's one way to really drive home the butthurt.

            p.s. I added butthurt to my google dictionary.

      • cousinitt

        How many different ways can a butt be hurt? Let us count the ways!

        100 bajillion = 1 analplex

    • Lizzietish81

      Well a pointed finger would cause a butt to hurt if not used gently.

    • Negropolis

      Finger banging, errr, pointing will only prelong the butthurt.

  • Amanwithnoplan

    Teabagger (holding gun to his own head): "Nobody moves, or the dumbass redneck gets it!"

    Move!

    • Tommy1733

      With votes.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      "Oh, won't someone help that poor man!"
      Cue "Blazing Saddles" references…

      • Tundrafig

        "The President is near!"

    • MosesInvests

      Better do what he says, boys-I think he means it.

  • sullivanst

    "Conservatism can never fail, it can only be failed"

    Lather, rinse, repeat.

    • skoalrebel

      I tried that line in a math class back in school. [spit!] I said to the teacher, "I'm a conservative, I can't fail. I can only be failed! "[spit!] And then the bitch failed me. [spit!] Dunno what went wrong.

      • trondant

        Third grade's a bitch, innit?

    • Estproph

      Ahhh…drink, drink deep, of the rightwing tears. Revel in the flavor of the crazycake purity.

  • skoalrebel

    I'm a true conservative [spit] But you won't find me prancing around in a wig, knickers, and a three-cornered hat. [spit!] That's just fuckin' gay. And I prefer the Dip Party to the Tea Party.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Aw. Sure glad to see you back Skoalrebel~

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        A-spittin'-men

    • ButthurtWingers2012

      True…besides when they dress in their stupid colonial cosplay it's all half-assed anyway. It's not like they go and live in colonial-style communities without electricty to charge their scooter batteries (or oil and gas…and they sure do drive up to these reprobrate shin-digs in cars and truckz) as a message or anything…they just dress up like Star Trek nerds and go prouncing about pretending to speak in grand proclamations…then they go eat at Denny's.

      My favorite question is, why do all teabaggers look like Benjamin Franklin when they cosplay? A: because he's the only founder those fat-asses can resemble. "Hey Harlin, nice Frank-lin costumeee…", "Dammit Delber, I'm a supposed to be George Washinton!"…"uh, Harlin…I ain't no expert or nuthin, but I don't think G-Dubya was a big fatass…", "Shut the fuck up, Delbert!"

    • Tundrafig

      In addition to which, they never talk about WHY the Founding Fathers (genuflect, genuflect, genuflect) wore wigs.

      Syphilis, that's why. With untreated syphilis rampant at the time, particularly among members of the "ahem* aristocracy, it was a way to cover up the fact that the busy little spirochetes had even devoured one's follicles.

      It even became fashionable over time.

  • FakaktaSouth

    I swear to God I am all for these fuckers going full purist. It'll help get rid of them that much faster.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      You should infiltrate them and lead them further down the crazy road. I would, but I appear to have the gay, so they would never trust me.

      • FakaktaSouth

        I have often thought of how easy and profitable it would be to jump into that cesspool of stupidity and bigotry, I just don't have the balls for it. It would all fall apart the day I started screaming WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU? YOU KNOW NOTHING OF EVEN WHAT YOU SPEAK!!! I demand at least a modicum of basis for things besides, "Man I sure do hate that black guy." I got into it today with a secessioner and as soon as I started listing the actual reasons it was stupid, he did the whole, heh heh, I don't really know, I am just moving to Australia thing, so then I got to tell him what I know about them too…and he went away. I miss fighting on actual policy.

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          You know what your problem is? You rely too much on "facts" and "knowledge" when I just feel deep down in my gut that Obama is a secret gay kenyan muslin socialist. Fucking libtards with their fucking "reality"! The only thing that will fix my butthurt is to relive the bloodiest war in American history but this time with RPG's and nuclear weapons!!!/

          See, its easy. Go post this on facebook and see how many recruits you get.

          • FakaktaSouth

            Damn girl, we should go into this together, you could be my speech writer. I will just have to practice the not laughing while trying to get through that bullshit part.

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            Platform items;
            Bring back witch burning and the pillory.
            Get rid of all vaccines and medical treatment for the lady parts because evil and gross.
            Repeal the 19th amendment and revert women back into the property of their fathers and husbands.
            After that you will have to get a man to take over.

          • GunToting[Redacted]

            I thought the "anti-vaccine" bullshittery was more prevalent on the leftie side…

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            Quiet you! Facts have no place in this platform.

          • prommie

            And hey, you know?

          • FakaktaSouth

            What? You want in on this?

          • prommie

            I can be as good at the mountebankery as any of you! Like Mister Bad Example.

          • FakaktaSouth

            That's fine, like BSFD says, we'll need an angry white dude to swoop in once the minions realize I have one of those awful uterus things and ain't gonna do none of them.

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            Prommie can uncover you as a plant of the left, thereby instantly legitimizing himself.

          • FakaktaSouth

            I am so in love with this idea, I am working on my "you betcha, I'm an idiot, and yes I really said that" winky faces now!

          • prommie

            Wolverines!

        • elfgoldsackring

          Australia is not your redneck El Dorado, dumbasses. We have an atheist female living-in-sin Prime Minister, a lesbian with partner and child as Minister of Finance and state-funded healthcare. And while we don't have gay marriage yet, all couples living together automatically have the same entitlements and responsibilities as married couples. Oh, and good luck with our very restrictive immigration policies, we actually favour educated people with something to offer.

          • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

            After the election some teenager on Twitter said she was moving to Australia because your president is a Christian who means what he says. So many Australians jumped on her to correct her and tell her she's a fucking idiot that she eventually deleted her account. One of those times when I'm all in favor of cyber-bullying.

          • prommie

            Fakakta and I have much to offer, we would be a credit to your beautiful country in every way; where do we apply?

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            I thought they only took in criminals. We could ship all our vote suppressors down there! Fair revenge for Rupert, don't you think?

          • elfgoldsackring

            Ah yes, an oldie but a goodie:
            Australian Immigration official: Do you have any criminal convictions, sir?
            Immigrant: I didn't think that was still a requirement…

          • memzilla

            It's the Sharks With Frickin' Lasers that gives me pause…

          • elfgoldsackring

            Well, since down-home/diner cuisine looks to be the Next Big Thing in Sydney restaurant fads, maybe you could get in on that. Not even kidding.

            Or just come and overstay your tourist visas. You can crash at my place. Hell, it's the closest I'll get to Wonkette Live!

          • gullywompr

            Sydney Drinky Thing!

          • Negropolis

            Given all that, I'm confused as to why Gillard still opposes same-sex marriage on what seems to be cultural/psuedo-religious grounds. She seems to be either right of our president on a lot of issues, or at least hold ambivalent opinions and positions on them. She doesn't exactly strike me as progressive, and your guy's opposition leader would be a proper Republican here in the States. Albeit, not a tea partier, but definitely a right-winger.

          • shelwood46

            Well, now I totally want to move to Australia, and not just because Neil Finn and Paul Kelly tickets went on sale.

      • Eve8Apples

        I'll admit that in the past, I surreptitiously posted crazy shit on some of their blogs and websites for the fun of working them up into a foam at the mouth frenzy. I now realize that it is far too easy to send them off the deep end. It just isn't fun anymore. It is kind of like poking a caged animal with a stick.

    • One_who_wanders

      Soon the purges will accelerate!

      • bikerlaureate

        Bring on the beautiful, cleansing purgy purges!!!!!1!

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    I'd recommend the disgruntled tea party faction take an empty chair and wave it at Reince Priebus while shaking their fists, but I think that motif's been done already.

    • Preferred Customer

      Oh, Reince Priebus. There's a name I had quickly forgotten. Surely he's out of a job now, yes?

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        I admit, I had to look up "GOP National Chairman 2012," then pretty much *facepalmed* when I saw that crazy name that I never did learn how to pronounce.

      • gullywompr

        No, they only fire RNC chairmen when they win (see: Steele, Michael).

  • Barbara_

    I read a Tweet last night that urged people to help Sarah Palin raise 250 million dollars for her Presidential run in 2016. I had to laugh.

    • HRH_Maddie

      I've already committed 100 million bitcoins to her 2016 run.

    • gullywompr

      Every Dem should give a dollar or two to that.

    • Terry

      OMG, that would be fabulous! She could knock any viable candidates out in the primaries…if she chose to put any actual work into running…and push her party futher out on to the fringe. Think of the potential for comedy!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Fuck the bread, it'll be circuses, circuses, and more circuses!

        • OneDollarJuana

          And turkeys.

      • bikerlaureate

        .if she chose to put any actual work into running

        Oh, crap. There's always a catch.

    • JustPixelz

      She'll need every penny if she's going to get enough people drunk enough to vote for her. Or maybe just get (yet) bigger tits.

      • sullivanst

        I hope Kristen Wiig's keeping her calendar open for the return to SNL, a la Fey.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Wait. I thought a candidate was only allowed one running mate.

    • qwerty42

      Palin/some other nutjob 2016!!!
      The Democrats would win Montana, Wyoming and the Dakotas. Probably a chunk of the deep south as well.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Howz about Palin/Christine O'Donnell 2016?

      • IonaTrailer

        I'm hoping for a Sarah Palin/ Victoria Jackson ticket.
        Hell, I'd pay good money to see that.

      • hagajim

        Idaho as well

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Oh please, yes. If there is a God, her and Santorum will be battling it out in the primaries in four years.

      • Tundrafig

        "Battling Santorum" – gah.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Shelly Dankert would not approve!! Sarah fucking Palin really let her down!! Sarah never forwarded any of Shelly's Facebook posts, goddamn her to hell!! (slosh, clink)

    • lulzmonger

      This is GREAT NEWS for Sara Benincasa!

    • krazyvladimir

      Trump for VP !!!!!!!

    • Nowisallthereis

      Palin/West 2016!!!!!!!!!!!

  • editor

    good grief. the end times are surely upon us when ronald reagan begins to sound reasonable …

    • Terry

      There you go again…

    • Esteev

      He is my favorite president with Alzheimer's.

    • MosesInvests

      Hell, Tricky Dick Nixon sounds reasonable next to these clowns.

  • usuhname

    How many tea leaves did they read to determine this? Was it some kind of 'funky' tea? Maybe they like losing elections? Maybe the Koch brothers are secretly Democrats, undermining the GOP from the inside!

    WE ARE THRU THE LOOKING GLASS HERE PEOPLE!

    • MaxNeanderthal

      They're a fucking omnishambles. From bean to cup, they fuck-up…
      Apologies to Malcolm Tucker..

      • schvitzatura

        When is the last time Paul Ryan ate a Cornish Pasty? Around the same time he ran a sub-three hour marathon…no apologies to Dave Cameron!

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Please go full Shaker and quit procreating. That will make God smile.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Teabagger is just another word for "Permanent Case of Dunning Kreuger."

  • SorosBot

    Yes, teabaggers, keep nominating far-right fuckheads who are doomed to defeat because you morans don't understand that the vast majority of Americans disagree with your extremist bullshit and doom the GOP to eternal defeat.

    • gullywompr

      No, no no, they just need to educate people more on what they're all about, then they get the votes.

      Right?

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        "Look, messicans, when we said you were lazy and we were going to shoot you at the border, I don't think you fully understood the benefits our platform brings to you."

  • OneYieldRegular

    That reminds me. I haven't heard much from Dick Armey in the last six days. Has he gone into a Witless Protection Program?

    • GhostBuggy

      Eh, what's he got to say anyway? He got his money off these imbeciles already. On to the next graft.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      He's taking some well-earned time off in the Caymans.

    • Walter_White

      Dick Army or dick army? A name like that should reap him ridicule in any normal setting.

  • Lizzietish81

    Now I understand why the villain makes two of his enemies fight each other in a ring of combat, its freaken hilarious!

  • GeorgiaBurning

    "We stand today at a crossroads: One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other leads to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to make the right choice" – Woody Allen

    • hagajim

      Is that Crossroads GPS?

  • One_who_wanders

    If someone with Reagan's positions actually ran for office these people would call him a RINO. They are in love with the icon of Reagan not his actual positions.

    • FakaktaSouth

      The most enjoyable thing for me in all of this is how seriously it proves how little these people know about their own party, their own beliefs and their own history. Yes, Reagan, that's what you wanted. A guy who raised taxes. Just, shut up. But I agree that Rove should never run a campaign again.

    • lulzmonger

      For these Colonial Cosplay dipshits, "We begin bombing in five minutes" was Reagan's finest hour … unless it was his other Derp Koan – "I too am a Contra."

      Alzheimer's has a known conservative bias.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Hell, even Nancy didn't dig his positions.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Romney wasn't too moderate. He was too poor.

    • sullivanst

      No no no, too empathetic. You heard about that time he rescued those losers in the lake? A true social darwinist leader would never have impinged on their freedumb to drown themselves by accident.

    • Esteev

      That seems to be my problem too, also.

  • gullywompr

    When you're losing, double your bet.

    Works every time.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Hey, it worked for me at Caesar's Palace!

      Or rather, will work when my number comes up…

      • gullywompr

        Having a little poker game with the boys this weekend, can you make it?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Sure! I'm getting my tax refund. Think anyone can change a grand?

          • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

            Filling an inside straight is easier and less painful than filling a root canal.

            Wait, what??

    • Esteev

      Worked for Commodus.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        No shit?

        • Esteev

          That's what I heard at least.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      2-7 unsuited? I'm all in!!!

  • SigDeFlyinMonky

    There he goes again, using logic…. The Legion of the Deluded wouldn't recognize a "logical universe" if it bit them in the ass. (As it has.) Putting the likes of these in a focus group and hoping for a practical course of action will produce further wailing and gnashing of teeth in the darkness outside the corridors of power.

    • One_who_wanders

      Worst superhero comic ever "Legion of the Deluded."

  • Not_Mother

    This may be OT but the real problem is the food stamp president is advertising FREE FOOD STAMPS ON MESSICAN RADIO soap operas. IN Mexico!11! Also, the dirty Santa Claus lovers in Ohio are gonna have to take a food stamp pay cut! How do I know this? It was on the wounded beached walrus edition of the conservative entertainment complex today when I was stuck in traffic. And how do you say wackos and weirdos and witches and Mourdock in one sentence and not get "warlock?" Connect the dots, people! CTDs!!!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    This shit cracks me the fuck up.

  • magic_titty

    Romney is probably more conservative than Reagan but who cares, right, Tea Party? You just want your Reagan. Well, Poor Mitt Romney will NOT drink your Reagan Kool-Aid, because he can't have sugar.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Hey, Karl Rove:

    MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

  • Barrelhse

    So, Obama won because he's more conservative than Romney?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      According to the math, he's more fiscally conservative, yes.

    • billy_reuben

      Well, Romney is more reactionary than conservative, so yes.

  • Goonemeritus

    Other than not advocating actual stoning’s for the gays and reneging on the whole bomb the shit out of Iran I thought he was singing all the hits.

    • sullivanst

      Well, he did attempt to claim his massive tax cut wasn't a tax cut.

  • usuhname

    So the 2016 candidate should have/stand for:
    No abortion – or foetuses – ever. No taxes or government – just lots of camp fires and reminiscing of Real America. + Wear a Sombrero at all times. IN THE BAG!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "witches"
    I thought crazy lady from Delaware with the hairy bush ran and got defeated last election cycle.

    • Loch_Nessosaur

      No reason to pass up an opportunity to blame the people in funny clothes.

    • gullywompr

      I miss the phrase "pudding cup beard".

  • HRH_Maddie

    YES! Next time run an even more "severe conservative." I'll look forward to winning our super-majority and the House back.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Bachmann- if she says no the only other candidate is my left bollock with a fucking smiley face drawn on it.
      Sorry, I'm in a Thick of It plagarising frame of mind today…

  • Esteev

    Thankfully, we can still duel — with votes — of course.

  • Pragmatist2

    I love the smell of Schadenfreude in the morning!!!!

  • NothingMissing

    “What we got was a weak moderate candidate handpicked by the Beltway elites and country-club establishment wing of the Republican Party.”

    Weren’t there such things as Republican primary elections? Voter fraud hits closer to home, I guess.

    • bikerlaureate

      Weren’t there such things as Republican primary elections?

      It's always Obama's fault.
      (somehow)

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Frothy Mix / Palin 2016!!!!!

    • GortRay

      Speaking of the Snow Hag, I saw her on teevee recently and she looked like she was just coming off a 3 week meth binge.

      • superdave

        So you're saying she's tan, rested and ready!

    • MaxNeanderthal

      I miss my lube'n'fecal matter references. Bring it on, I say…

    • docterry6973

      No way Miss Sarah takes the 2 slot again. She wants the whole enchilada, or whatever they eat whole in Wassilla.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    no one would give a dime to their ineffective ‘super PACs.’

    Viguerie is the king of direct mail fundraising (with amazingly high administrative costs). Sounds like he wants to eliminate his competition.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    It's not whether you win or lose, it's who gets the blame.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    The GOP can't afford to take any more chances with moderates. I suggest this guy.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Yeah remember when Romney started surging in the polls after the first debate b/c he doubled down on tax cuts for the wealthy, passing Paul Ryan's budget and harsher restrictions on abortion?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      When he unequivocally stated that he would allow insurance companies to deny coverage for pre-existing conditions, it nearly put him over the top. If he'd promised to privatize all federal law enforcement so they can charge victims for investigative services (free market efficiency!), Obama wouldn't stand a chance.

  • HRH_Maddie

    The real problem with Romney was he was a bit too ethnic. Next time run a whiter guy.

    • kittensdontlie

      And too much ethics…next time lose more ethics.

      • HRH_Maddie

        And way too rigid in his ideology. Never able to change or moderate his positions on anything.

      • bikerlaureate

        The omelet "ends" justify the broken-egg "means".

        • emmelemm

          Mmm…. omelet. (I'm hungry, dangit!)

          • bikerlaureate

            Nom nom nomelet.

  • ChickTract_Fil_A

    This clown car is out of control! Needs moar clowns!

    • bikerlaureate

      Drive faster! Take the curves wider!

  • arduinohacker

    Following their logic….. soooo the Tea Partiers thought:

    " Hmmmmm…. Romney's not conservative enough, even with a 12th century running mate, sponsor of various drastic bills, and amendments against women that would make the mullahs smile, so therefore we will either vote for Obama, or stay home and effectively vote for Obama."

    Yep, sounds like perfectly reasonable Teatartd logic to me.

    • notgross

      I know I'd encourage them to use that strategy next time…

  • YouBetcha

    Yes, Teabaggers, this sounds like a wonderful plan! Please let me know what I can do to assist you in putting it in play.

  • Wilcoxyz

    Any candidate not calling for the re-institution of slavery – WHICH WAS IN THE CONSTITUTION (and bible) – is too moderate. That's the 2016 litmus test.

  • christianmuslin

    A true conservative would support nation-wide adoption of Arizona's immigtation law as his, or her, first legislatve priority, repeal of FEMA, the Department of Education, support for the Justice Department to file suit against the estate of Charles Darwin for treason against the Bible, an amendment to the Constitution requiring all Supreme Court justices have a penis and large testicles, support an amendment to the Bible's ten commandments to modify thou shall have no other gods before Me "except Ronald Regan. " That should do it.

    • elfgoldsackring

      Ahem, you forgot legal representation for fetuses.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        They need to get ahead of the game and nominate a fetus for President.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    There must be a mistake, neither Barone nor Viguerie thought to say anything about rape.

  • poorgradstudent

    Well, to be fair, it does depend on which Romney they're talking about.

  • elfgoldsackring

    Next stage will be the Maoist show trials. For freedom.

  • el_donaldo

    Dear Tea Party:

    The party that ran the moderate candidate won the election. Think about that for a while.

    • Esteev

      A communist duck? Now I have seen it all.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        You never heard of Che Canardo?

        • el_donaldo

          Of the Quakatistas.

  • missemish

    Today is my birthday. This is a pretty good gift.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Happy Birthday, Wonketteer!

    • proudgrampa

      Happy B-Day, miss!

      Life is pretty good when you get another birthday!

  • metamarcisf

    Fifty years from now these fuckers will STILL be talking about Reagan. After they've lost another 12 presidential elections.

  • WaltFrench

    WSJ's “CEO Council” features video of Joe Lieberman (!) telling Republicans that “47%” type attitudes by R's painted *themselves* as against upward mobility. Yes, the Obama campaign was willing to help. So even Asians — who (stereotypically and in my personal experience) are aggressively interested in succeeding through hard work — voted sharply against Romney's exclusive club.

    Certainly the Tea Party mobilizes the Left to turn out and vote heavily, but I'd agree that as a way to win an election, losing self-described “Moderates” by 15 points and Asians by 45 needs something more than weird and mean-spirited wedge issues such as echo around Tea Party rooms.

  • ElPinche

    In the picture, I see George Washington and John Adams , but who's the middle one? "Joan McBonerKiller" , Founding Fathers ugly menopausal sidekick?

    • el_donaldo

      James Madison would like you to respect her life choices and begin referring to her as Joan from now on.

    • proudgrampa

      Dat woman UGLY.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    The Tea Party platform, as best I can grasp it, is something like STOP SPENDING! Life is sacred except for them what needs killin! Get government out of my life! No, not Social Security or Medicare or my son's government job — just get government out of my life! We want to be free from government oppression, so government should be small enough that it can't keep corporations from being our oppressors instead! Hunting, fishing and Jesus and NASCAR!

    So basically they don't know what they fuckin' believe — but they're damn sure their biggest problem is that some people don't believe it enough. This is gonna be a fun implosion.

    • sullivanst

      It can be summed up very simply:

      "For me, but not for thee"

    • hagajim

      I think the real Tea Party Platform is There's an urban in the White House he's gotta go!

      • ImForJeb!

        But in that quaint Tea Party accent, the word "urban" just happens to rhyme with "bigger."

    • GeneralLerong

      Oh, so you've visited Alaska?

  • GortRay

    Teabaggers should just fade away and become 1980 Republican Convention re-enactors.

    • sullivanst

      They prefer the 1992 Republican Convention.

  • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Gohmert/Papa John '16!

    Delusional plus Ovens should satisfy 'em! There's precedent in the altes Vaterland.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Yes, Tea Party "Patriots," go further right. Also, keep saying idiotic things about rape and women and immigrants and keep using racist dog whistles. Keep fuckin' that chicken, morons.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    After having lived through this Sandy disaster, I totally agree with the idea that people should be allowed to find food, shelter and medical assistance on their own. It builds character and it's a cruel government that would deny them this learning experience.

    • Pithaughn

      right on bro!! who among us does not long to experience the dignity of dying from starvation, exposure and cholera?

      • emmelemm

        "You have died of dysentery." {sad trombone}

  • JustPixelz

    "…conservatives had wanted a candidate like President Reagan."

    And who would that be? Certainly not any of those animatronic Reagan-bots we saw in the primaries.

    As many have noted, Reagan couldn't have been nominated in today's GOP environment.

    Far more jobs were created during Clinton administration than under Reagan.

  • Eve8Apples

    So what you're saying is the GOP is convinced they can pick up more women and minority voters in 2016 by running a Sarah Palin/Herman Cain ticket or an Allen West/Michele Bachmann ticket .

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    How extreme a candidate do these idiots want?

    Bunch of freakin' morons…

    • ElPinche

      They wanna go full Taliban.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    BTW, my sister who lives among the 1% in one of the hard hit waterfront towns here in NJ advised me that most of her Wall Street, Romney loving, .001% neighbors were already signing up for FEMA disaster assistance.

    • proudgrampa

      Well, of COURSE!

      No self-respecting hypocrite would turn down free money.

  • Come here a minute

    The electoral process has a way to shut that whole thing down.

  • Eve8Apples

    With all the firearms and ammunition stockpiled by the tea baggers, this circular firing squad could get very interesting.

  • notgross

    I heard one of the conservative pundits on an NPR show yesterday (yeah, I know, so typical…) He kept saying they needed a "Reagan conservative" and that Reagan was very successful at attracting the youth vote. He was then reminded that the people that voted for Reagan as young voters in the '80s are the people that vote GOP today. It didn't sway him one bit.

    Now that I think about it, I believe it was Viguerie on the radio show. He seriously fought for the "not conservative enough" agenda along with "needs more Reagan".

  • tracyhasfun

    The only time I have used this acronym: SMH. Please just carve out your own nutty party.

  • prommie

    This is worthy of comment, surprising in the least?

    • Negropolis

      You know, prommie, you are awfully critical of the subject matter, here, and very vocal about it. Unnecessarily so, in fact…

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    The solution is obvious: MOAR TRICORN HATS!!!!1111!!!!!!!!

  • Tommmcatt_Again

    Haha, you guys keep using words like "think" and "consider". These people have the I.Q. of a set of snowglobes…

    • Pithaughn

      Our local tea party luminary said we should not vote for a lawyer who represented some people accused of illegal immigration ( FOR FREE !! ) because he "broke the constitution".

  • Detesticle

    Watching the GOP civil war is as satisfying as it would be to watch the Dallas Cowboys and the New York Yankees mud wrestle to the death. With votes. And mud.

  • James Michael Curley

    Political losers are like a broken 24 hour clock which has no hands. Coming up for reasons they lost they are right once, but haven't a clue which 'right' it is.

  • Guppy

    OK, it's been an entire week. Why hasn't anyone stuck a microphone in Mittens' face to find out exactly whom he blames?

    • ProgressiveInga

      He blames "you people".

      • bikerlaureate

        Yup.
        The Help failed him. Surely he was a receptive, open-minded leader… and the remarkably incompetent political experts failed to give him good intel.

    • hagajim

      Cause he's a loser and nobody wants to talk to a loser.

  • notgross

    I believe Viguerie said that the GOP could attract more Latino voters by talking about "liberty". I hate when he gets all specific on us.

  • TootsStansbury

    Fucking Fundies.

  • SockBunny

    In all blog-seriousness, I heard the moderate right is counseling open primaries to resolve 'the problem'. Pardon me, but I don't believe they've identified the problem yet.

    Is it just me, or would we all love an open Republican Primary vote?

    • Eve8Apples

      An open primary would be fantastic. The Wonketeers can sign up to vote by mail so we can compare ballots and coordinate our candidate selection.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    For undermining “true conservative” candidates. And for “choosing to ignore” the conservative agenda.

    Get face tatoos or GTFO!!!

  • dennis1943

    Do they fathom the ramifications….?….oh, I forgot……………..

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    The First Rule of the Conservative Agenda is you don't talk about the Conservative Agenda!

  • Cleopatriot

    I would love to see the GOP take a hard turn to the right.

    • hagajim

      They go any harder right and they may end up on the left.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Saying the GOP lost because it's not conservative enough is a bit like saying that arsenic is a tasty condiment that would skyrocket in popularity if it were more poisonous.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    The first Conservative to run on a strict "Guns for Fetuses" platform will win the nomination.

  • lulzmonger

    Lead-based wig powder is a hell of a drug.

  • DahBoner

    Dear Tea Party Man, Did a stealth fighter just fly over your head or is that a flying black dildo hat you're wearing? Thanks, A Concerned Citizen

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    this is completely OT but can someone in chicago please explain why in the last two weeks we've had traffic screw ups on the kennedy for:

    a flour spill
    a maple syrup spill
    a traveling meth lab

    is this how end times looks?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      That's going to be one hell of a pancake.

      • shelwood46

        Mmm, meth pancakes, a Chicago delicacy.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      now there are pipes spilled.

      wtf?

    • bobbert

      Isn't this just "Chicago"?

    • ImForJeb!

      If it's a legitimate spill, the freeway has ways of shutting it down.

  • pdiddycornchips

    The Tea Party blames the Establishment and the Establishment blames the Tea Party. Guys, there's no need to fight. You're both right,.

  • owhatever

    Only Marcus Bachmann can save us from ourselves, if we gave him just a little more federal monies.

  • Amanwithnoplan

    Y'all watchin Gyp on Boardwalk Empire? Speaking of bloody minded secretly perverted sociopaths in tricorner hats.
    http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/boardwalk-empire?bef

  • En_Buenora

    If only the Republicans had run a no-compromise conservative super-right winger like, um, Joe Arpaio? Allen West?

    Michele Bachmann but less googly eyed?

    Who?

    We're talking a neo-Confederate snake-handling Bircher brigade that made people like Mike Huckabee decline running this year.

    I think they think that the ultra-right-wingers who win in Alabama or where ever would be popular everywhere.

    The problem is that too many people who disagree with them get to vote. They'll have to do better to fix that next time.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    When you open the barn door, and the horse is already gone … (the image of Rmoney and Annie on Rafalca comes to mind)

  • ghblowhard

    People who take Government handouts and expect entitlements are lazy leach moochers except when their house in the Hamptons is flooded

  • ibwilliamsi

    They should stop spending their money on hysterical, I mean historical costumes and start the fundraising NOW, because I think that the R Super PACs have learned THEIR lesson, too. I think we're in for a mighty big shake up in 2014.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      what lesson do you think they've learned? (no snark, just curious).

      • bobbert

        Sadly, I suspect the lesson learned is that they should collect TWICE as much money and run ads with more lies and better production values.

        • Negropolis

          We'll just have to see if the donors are so stupid as to buy that product.

  • rickmaci

    Like the photo. Victoria Jackson looks much better in a hat. I hate those damn ribbons.

  • 1stNewtontheMoon

    We want Reagan!!1!!! Read: We want an old white guy/empty suit who used to be in the pictures and still mostly acts like an actor when he's not suffering from the early symptoms of senile dementia. Also: pretends there's no such thing as AIDS (or poors or blahs).

  • missannthropethefirst

    I'm all for making the Tea Party a legitimate third party. Let them run their own candidates and strip votes from the Republicans. It would guarantee Democratic wins for the future.

    • Negropolis

      Yeah, let the right be split, for once.

  • Nostrildamus
  • Poindexter718

    Is that Betsy Ross-Dress-for-Less in the middle?

  • CindynEncinitas

    Dear Tea Party:

    Shove it up your ass and then shut the fuck up and go home and bake an apple pie and buy a Ford and see if that makes you feel any better. It doesn't? Oh. Too bad. Buh-bye.

    Love,
    The Rest of Us

  • finallyhappy

    I want these morons to stop using the term tea party. From time to time, I like to hold actual tea parties- with wedgewood china, brewed tea(not those fucking tea bags), crustless sandwiches, scones and small pastries.

    • emmelemm

      Cucumber sandwiches?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Teabagger hindsight must be retarded.

  • rocktonsam

    Joe Walsh/ M Bachmann2020

  • billy_reuben

    <giggles gleefully>… Shhh. Don't anybody tell them, okay? Tee-hee…

  • tessiee

    In a related story, Teabagger historians have decided that the Titanic sank because it didn't hit enough icebergs.

    Also, all the poorz in steerage.

  • Negropolis

    When will they let Reagan's corpse rest in peace?

    Again, the GOP isn't a party; it's a cult. Keep preparing the Kool-aid, you rubes. I see that you can barely keep up with the demand.

  • redarmyzombie

    Guys, I've decided to compose a new symphony. I'll call it, "Flight of the Hoverounds."

  • http://www.marionstein.net Ground Zero Mostel

    If HL Mencken were alive today, he'd be a gazillionaire.

  • GregComlish

    Everything would have been fine if they had nominated Rick Perry

  • ttommyunger

    Am I the only one watching the Right form a circular firing squad with the Tea Party raising its sword preparing to yell "Fire"?

  • teapartynyc2011

    "Tea party supporters are angry at the GOP for embracing as its presidential nominee a “moderate” like Romney. For undermining “true conservative” candidates. And for “choosing to ignore” the conservative agenda."

    The tea party has it half right — the wrong part is traditional religious conservative values forced onto the public. Nobody is down with that as the last election showed. The right part — the county is conservative on economic issues and mitten's didn't advocate enough for those fundamental conservative economic principles. The Los Angeles Times columnist James Rainey explains:

    "Many debates have broken out about the meaning of last week’s election, including over whether conservatives should still push their claim that America is a “center-right nation.”…

    After 32 straight losses for same-sex wedding laws, four states approved marriage-equality proposals last week. Two other states legalized marijuana for recreational purposes….

    But Americans appear to remain more receptive to conservative viewpoints on spending, debt and the size of government. A bare majority, 51%, of voters last Tuesday told exit pollsters that government should do less, with 43% saying it should do more….

    A more precise verdict would be that the majority of the country remains slightly right of center when it comes to supporting lower spending, decreased debt and smaller government. But America appears to have shifted left of center in allowing more liberal policies on drugs and the institution of marriage. So, left on social issues and right on economics. If you eliminated the desire to tax the rich, it would sound like we had a center-libertarian nation."

  • GoodDogThor

    Zombie Reagan / Supply Side Jesus 2016!

  • UnionSpies

    You had me at "sober reflection".