VERY SERIOUS PEOPLE  2:03 pm November 13, 2012

Washington Post: Work Till You Are Dead Or Iran Will Kill You Anyway

by Kris E. Benson

A "serious" policy analystListen you guys. We know that you were looking forward to retiring at 67, but we just can’t have that because if we do, Iran will get a nuclear weapon and blow us up. This is the ACTUAL ARGUMENT that “Security Analyst” Robert Kagan is making in the Washington Post, so do not laugh (yet) because this is apparently not meant to be funny. It is meant to be a Serious plea for us stupid liberals to be reasonable and compromise with John Boehner in the upcoming “fiscal cliff” negotiations, because if we don’t, Iranians will come kill us and it will be ALL OUR FAULT for refusing to eat cat food and to continue working till we are dead.

I am not an economist or a budget analyst, so I don’t presume to know exactly what a “grand bargain” should look like. It seems pretty obvious that a compromise will require both tax reform, including if necessary some tax increases, and entitlement reform, since those programs are the biggest driver of the fiscal crisis. What I do know, as a national security analyst, is that our continuing failure to address the crisis in a way that makes possible a return to stable economic growth has become a serious foreign policy problem.

He doesn’t know what a grand bargain should look like, but he know it should like something like less Medicare and less Social Security, so let’s just get that settled. Also, and we cannot stress this enough, Social Security is NOT A DRIVER OF THE DEFICIT. This is according to Bernie Sanders, Ronald Reagan, the AARP and Office of Management and Budget Director Jacob Lew. Social Security is not “broke” because we have been paying out more benefits than we take in, it is “broke” because the government borrows from it. Now, were we concerned for the future viability of the program, the government could borrow more money to pay it back, which won’t happen because we suddenly care about deficits now that a Democrat is in office. Or, we could raise the payroll cap from $110,000 to a million dollars. Perhaps that would satisfy the terrorists who want us to retire later, or live off cat food.

A principal victim in the absence of a deal to address the fiscal crisis has been and will continue to be the national security budget. Republicans and Democrats alike have been prepared to see hundreds of billions of dollars cut from the defense budget, with even more cuts coming if Congress fails to avoid the automatic “sequestration.” The already shrunken foreign-aid budget is also being cut at a time when, in the Middle East, for instance, we need to be spending more, not less, to support stable economies as the basis for democratic reform.

Given that the next paragraph talks about the tumultuous and uncertain results of the Arab Spring, we can only translate this to mean that we need to spend more to help Israel. Fun fact, we already pay about 20% of Israel’s military budget, maybe more, depending on whom you ask. Israelis enjoy universal health care and opportunities for free higher education but yeah, it seems only fair that we cut Medicare reimbursements and tighten our belts so that we can buy them more F-16s.

The present global economic and political order, which has provided the environment in which the United States has grown and prospered for decades, is built on and around American power and influence. Were the United States to cease playing its role in upholding this order, were we to retreat from East Asia or to back away from the challenge posed by a nuclear Iran, the result could only be global instability. From a purely economic perspective, it would be far more costly to restore order and stability — both essential to a prosperous global economy — than it would be to sustain it. Indeed, if there is no deal on the fiscal cliff and the long-term fiscal crisis because Republicans and Democrats won’t make a sensible compromise on raising revenue and reforming entitlements, and the result is further cuts in the defense and foreign affairs budgets, then the cost — including the dollar cost — could make the present budget arguments look absurdly petty.

In case you thought we were kidding in that opening paragraph: there it is. Retire later, Americans, or Iran will nuclear weaponize you and also terrorists. Remember that this week and next week, when you are called upon to just Be Reasonable and retire later in return for millionaires’ tip money.

[Washington Post]

 
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{ 201 comments }

mrblifil November 13, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Shares of Tubalthorium G are up!

prommie November 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Cobalt-Thorium G, you mean like for the Doomsday Device?

mrblifil November 13, 2012 at 6:14 pm

That's how it's spelled? I was just going by the Peter Bull's odd pronunciation…

TribecaMike November 13, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Unfortunately, all of my money is wrapped up in malted milk balls. In my pocket. On a hot day. :(

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:35 am

Come on dec.22 2012 !

privatejoker77 November 13, 2012 at 2:06 pm

The Koch spin just won't stop. Just add more scary.

MARCdMan November 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm

I think I had the Koch Spins this weekend, I woke up Sunday with an overwhelming urge to rollover my IRA into t-bills and bust a union.

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:36 am

Im ivesting in Kevlar the red state butt monkeys are going nuts.

Come here a minute November 13, 2012 at 2:07 pm

And as Paul Krugman splains with his handy chart, the people that need Social Security already had their increased life expectancies eaten up in the eighties.

It would have been nice if the ACA had "Medicare for all" to prevent so much of the health care spending going to the middlemen, but somehow I don't think Mr. Kagan was calling for that.

At least Mr. Kagan did a great job predicting what would happen after we invaded Iraq.

johnnyzhivago November 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

You didn't think the AARP was developing bunker busting bombs for geriatric constipation, did you?

freakishlywrong November 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Fiscal this, motherfuckers.

ManchuCandidate November 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

It seems to me the biggest problems in US Amercia are Bajillionaires who believe it is good to cut taxes in times of WAHR and idiots who think that all those gold plated weapons systems and WAHRs they masturbate over come from the wahr fairy, and not actually paid for by the US Amercia taxpayer.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 13, 2012 at 2:51 pm

And then, some days, I just plain old love you, Manchu, because you write this shit. (Hugs Manchu)

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:38 am

He has his moments.

Detesticle November 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

The Washington Post really is doing a top-notch job of screening columnists this year.

WhatTheHolyHeck November 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I'm going to apply for the position of Foreign Events editor, based on my experience of not being a former administration official, poli-sci major, or a journalist.

boskolives November 14, 2012 at 8:55 am

Sorry, but not having any Generals in war zones that you've fucked recently on your resume indicates a lack of foreign affairs experience and makes us say, eh, no.

Negropolis November 14, 2012 at 1:35 am

You'd have thought after the debacle that was Iraq that the fuckers would have ran as quickly as they could to the left. But, no, because that'd be too much like right.

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:39 am

They like to double down when it comes to stupid.

BaldarTFlagass November 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

To those Iranians who are going to force me to work to an older age, I say, BRING IT ON!

SmutBoffin November 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

You are receiving this notice because "BRING IT ON" is a registered trademark of George W. Bush Presidencies and its subsidiaries. We enjoin you to cease and desist use of this phrase IMMEDIATELY.

If your behavior persists, we will be forced to take legal action against you.

GOOD DAY AND GOD BLESS Y'ALL

BaldarTFlagass November 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

"If your behavior persists, we will be forced to take legal action against you."

Well, I guess that's better than a 500-lb daisy cutter delivered to my living room by B-2 bomber stationed out of White Man AFB, MO.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 13, 2012 at 2:53 pm

You forgot "GOLD BLESS AMERCIA" also too.

Why do you hate Amercia?

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:41 am

Good morning Welcome to Wal-mart.

OneDollarJuana November 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm

The only solution for me is to join the Army, I guess. At least there is the potential for lots of identical-twin-sister booty.

ManchuCandidate November 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Only for the generals. If Army wanted you to get some pussy (or ass or dick) then they would have issued it to you.

Hammiepants November 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Poopyhead.

PsycWench November 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Oh, I thought maybe they were going to recruit the guys who drink coffee at our local Hardee's all day to do volunteer sniping or something.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Those guys probly already do all the volunteer sniping their mouths can handle.

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:42 am

Volunteer? Hardee's pays those guys.

James Michael Curley November 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Just another reminder asshole. One F-22 taken off the shopping list can provide the Family Tri-Care Copay for every person in the military for years.

Lascauxcaveman November 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Let's see: I'm 52 (today is my B-Day!) I've got one daughter going to college next year, and another one five years after that… [gets out calculator/actuarial tables] …

Yup, I'll be working 'til I'm dead anyway. Go ahead and nuke us, Iran.

Botlrokit November 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Happy birthday, Lascaux!

BadKitty904 November 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Happy Birthday, LCV!!! :0)

emmelemm November 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Happy Birthday, good sir.

Jus_Wonderin November 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

HBD! I am in a similar boat. Well, okay, dingy. 53. My (only) daughter is out of college. I don't have one in reserve that will be going. And yet, I will also work until I am dead…or almost.

Part of this is my lack of planning. Part of it is a divorce where the ex "wah, wah, couldn't contribute jack" to the college fund.

I don't regret it but I am in overdrive to try to retire with my head held high.

SmutBoffin November 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

You get to quit working when you die!? Lucky!

A goodly portion of my afterlife will be spent catching up on emails.

****EDIT****
Well, it's time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year
We'll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy that there's something you can eat
A million people every day are starving in the street

Your daddy's in the gutter with the wretched and the poor
Your mama's in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four
There's garbage in the water
There's poison in the sky
I guess it won't be long before we're all gonna die

DCBloom November 13, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Happy Birthday!

MosesInvests November 13, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Happy Birthday! 48 yesterday, here. One kid will be going to college in 2 years, the other in about 11 years. So I owe my soul to the company store, too.

James Michael Curley November 13, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Happy Birthday. Welcome to the view from over the hill.

proudgrampa November 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Happy Birthday, Lascaux!

FWIW, I am 61 and put all three of my kids through college when I was in my 40s (it pays to start young). Because of that strategy, my retirement account isn't what it would have been otherwise.

But I figure that the kids can support me because of those great jobs they have (heh!) so I'm gonna retire anyway, Iranian nukes be damned.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Happy Birthday! I'm younger than you but plan to turn cannibal in my retirement/apocalypse.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 13, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Happy Birfdai!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 13, 2012 at 8:14 pm

HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH THUTHDA BTHUTHDY

redarmyzombie November 14, 2012 at 1:15 am

Joyeux Anniversaire, Lascaux!

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:46 am

Semper fidelis enduro.

Nothingisamiss November 14, 2012 at 11:05 pm

I know it's been said many times, many ways….MerryBirthday to you!

(It's hard to come up with something original. But thatnks, your comments enrich my life. *sniff* Thanks.

Joshua Norton November 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I’ve pretty much given up seeking a sane GOoPer. I’d settle for one that took its meds regularly.

redarmyzombie November 14, 2012 at 1:16 am

Good fuckin' luck, pal…

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:48 am

Conservatards are the party of CRAZY! Stupid,and have cornered the tin foil hat market.

Botlrokit November 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

"…the result could only be global instability." Oh, yes, because everything seems so stable right now.

Dr_Zoidberg November 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

And here I thought I was unimportant in the grand scheme of things! Little did I know that our foreign policy rests directly on my flabby shoulders.

Sean O November 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

I can't be the only one who read that in Zoidberg's voice.

Need a new foreign policy? Why not Zoidberg?

Sean O November 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Why not kill 2 birds with one stone and sell Iran our unused nuclear weapons. Seems win-win to me.

Dr_Zoidberg November 13, 2012 at 2:32 pm

I like your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:52 am

If Iran wan't a nuke we should send them a few deliverd from a B-52 at 35,000 feet.

FlownOver November 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Hello, Newman.

StillGoinGreen November 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Dammit!

Esteev November 13, 2012 at 2:32 pm

YES!

BaldarTFlagass November 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

"entitlement reform, since those programs are the biggest driver of the fiscal crisis."

Defense, also, too. I don't know if dude stopped getting his Encyclopedia Britannica yearbook back in 1988, but someone should tell him that the USSR is no more.

VodkaGoGo November 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Then what the hell was Palin talkin' about with all that "eyes of Putin" jibe?

Esteev November 13, 2012 at 2:51 pm

"entitlement reform, since those programs are the biggest driver of the fiscal crisis. don't make me or my military contractor friends any money"

Fiqst

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:53 am

What happened to the peace dividend?

kittensdontlie November 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I don’t presume to know exactly what a “grand bargain” should look like.

It does look like he knows what they should taste like. (Although cameras typically add ten pounds to your jowls.)

actor212 November 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Robert Kagan. PNAC.

All you really need to know

FlownOver November 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

This?

Funny… he doesn't look Popish.

actor212 November 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Ratserfratser…wiseass

Esteev November 13, 2012 at 2:43 pm

That website looks very official. He must be Serious About Policy.

bobbert November 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm

The fuck?

BZ1 November 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Global instability will result unless the poors and olds pay more?? like it's so stable right now!

Crank_Tango November 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Ah so we compromise by lowering taxes on the rich, and raising them on the poor, right?

Botlrokit November 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm

It is permissible to say "I'd like to push this clown off a fiscal cliff"?

delaney_blom November 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm

with votes.

Jus_Wonderin November 13, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Given that the Fiscal Cliff is neologism (construct) for the across-the-board cuts (referred to as budget sequestration)…let's take some boards and construct a very tall scaffold and then wall this clown off of that.

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:54 am

That was harsh.I love it.

el_donaldo November 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

What's Kagan going to do if I don't do as he says? Run me over with a Jeep?

Jus_Wonderin November 13, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Are you in China?

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:56 am

A woman in Arizona tried to kill her husband for fogetting to vote for mittens with her car.

Not_Mother November 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Okay, so Barry landslid their asses but we're still going with the neocons ongoing world domination and homeland looting? Got it.

Tequila Mockingbird November 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Well, at least it's really easy to find a job after age 50! Whew!

SayItWithWookies November 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

You know what's great about this week as opposed to this time last week? I"m not the least bit worried that we're going to have a president who looks at some bedtime fairytale cooked up by Bill Kristol and a handful of defense contractors and think it's evidence of an imminent need to bomb the shit out of some country that doesn't fuckin' matter.

ManchuCandidate November 13, 2012 at 2:16 pm

All of them, Katie!

Jus_Wonderin November 13, 2012 at 2:36 pm

T!

edgydrifter November 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

It's cute that Kagan equates "security analyst" with "work."

BlueStateLibel November 13, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Especially since it seems our top CIA guy and top general mainly spent their time in the last several years composing thousands of emails to women they'd like to bang. Security indeed.

Esteev November 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

That "Reply All" button must be tired.

BadKitty904 November 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

So. At what age is THIS tubby bastard planning on retiring?

actor212 November 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Now we know what happened to those cakes we like

Nothingisamiss November 14, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Cedar cheese.

Lascauxcaveman November 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

I am not an economist or a budget analyst, so I don’t presume to know exactly what a “grand bargain” should look like. It seems pretty obvious that a compromise will require both tax reform, including if necessary some tax increases, and entitlement reform,

No, but if you were an economist you know pretty much instantly that tax increases will pretty much do the trick. Get 'em up to where they were when Reagan was president and our "deficit problem" pretty much goes away over the long haul.

actor212 November 13, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Well, I'm not an economist, but I play one in my head…

BaldarTFlagass November 13, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Well, I'm not an economist, but I usually buy one at the airport newsstand when I travel somewhere.

James Michael Curley November 13, 2012 at 3:19 pm

They still run "The Big Mac Index" of foreign currencies?

BaldarTFlagass November 13, 2012 at 7:31 pm

I think they still do, every six months or so.

James Michael Curley November 13, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Not even a long haul if taxes were at the highest rate from the Reagan era with all the money flow which would be taxed at Reagan's Capital Gains rate. The national debt will go down also.

During this tedious period when Republican Mendacity will run rampant to definitions to remember.
Deficit – The deficit is the difference between the money Government takes in, called receipts, and what the Government spends, called outlays, each year. Due to close out fiscal year 2013 at $944,743,000. It was $1,412,688,000 when Obama took office.
National Debt – The total debt is accumulated deficits plus accumulated off-budget surpluses. The on-budget deficits require the U.S. Treasury to borrow money to raise cash needed to keep the Government operating selling securities like Treasury bills, notes, bonds and savings bonds to the public. Due to close out fiscal year 2013 at $17,547,936,000,000

actor212 November 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Kagan was born in Greece.

Romney warned about becoming Greeks.

You do the maths.

Lizzietish81 November 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I thought that was about being gay or something.

actor212 November 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Well, it's kinda candy-assed, yes.

sbj1964 November 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

A flashing red crystal in the palm of peoples hands would solve the SS problem.Logans Run.

Disassembly November 13, 2012 at 2:35 pm

A computer-generated artificial reality would solve the deficit problem. The Matrix.

SuspectedDemocrat November 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

People who eat double downs and anus burgers would make great batteries.

Esteev November 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Invasion of the US by anyone will prove Kagan right. Red Dawn.

johnnyzhivago November 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

OT on this Petreus thing, but I thought we were fighting the MILFS in the Philippines so we didn't have to fight them here?

bikerlaureate November 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Republicans and Democrats alike have been prepared to see hundreds of billions of dollars cut from the defense budget, with even more cuts coming if Congress fails to avoid the automatic “sequestration.”

Lower budget = less world influence. Of course. What could be more obvious?

tracyhasfun November 13, 2012 at 2:16 pm

It's the hand blender of destiny, full-on to whip the RWNJ to a nice, white froth. Iran! Nukes! WELFARE! Jeebus!

Wadisay November 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I saw this on 24. The terrorists wear ski masks, carry AK-47s and scream Retire at age 75, infidel!

weejee November 13, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Is 24 still on the teevee?

SuspectedDemocrat November 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

It retired early, I think.

Chet Kincaid_ November 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

"For the last time, we've got plenty of money and we don't need any more!! Now I've got to get back to my, uh, email," said General Allen, looking somewhat flushed, and typing furiously.

BlueStateLibel November 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Win. And 20,000 pages of emails, mind you.

smokefilledroommate November 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm

We need to dispel the illusion that cuts to the national security budget really save us money.
Well, you just admitted in an earlier paragraph that you weren't "an economist or a budget analyst", so, you know–grain of salt. Thanks for the disclaimer that I didn't fucking need anyway.

Kid_Charlemagne November 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Who still listens to this fat fuck? He has been wrong about pretty much everything he has ever prognosticated about.

smokefilledroommate November 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

They still think he's an economist or a budget analyst.

Sean O November 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm

So what you're saying is, he's due.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2012 at 11:36 am

"He has been wrong about pretty much everything he has ever prognosticated about."

When your job is to tell Republicans what they want to hear, that's pretty much an expected occupational hazard.

Tequila Mockingbird November 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Ooh, you know what would be even better? If we eliminated the minimum wage and paid everyone what they were "worth"! Think of all the things I could buy with a buck-fiddy per hour!!!!!

CommieDad November 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

You're worth at least $1.75.

Geminisunmars November 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm

This is totally OT, but I would like to nominate for the Nobel Peace Prize our fellow Wonketteer Weedlord Bonehitler for the amazing feat he pulled off: By keeping the odios moniker "Mittborg" for months and months he managed to singlehandedly defeat the Repubs. It should be noted that before that he had names that reflected the various flavor of the week during the Repub debates, and managed thereby to defeat them all, one by one. So — All Hail our very own Weedlord Bonehitler.

DCBloom November 13, 2012 at 2:36 pm

That

MosesInvests November 13, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Hip, hip-huzzah!
Hip, hip-huzzah!
Hip, hip-huzzah!

Weedlord BonerHitler November 13, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Upfists for EVERYONE!

actor212 November 13, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I kneel in front of His Bonginess.

proudgrampa November 13, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I, for one, welcome our new Weedlord.

(hugs everyone)

Weedlord BonerHitler November 13, 2012 at 3:57 pm

(Hugs everyone right back!)

GeneralLerong November 13, 2012 at 3:40 pm

His punking the Goppers' online petition during the Obamacare debate is, of course, the stuff of history.

WIN

Weedlord BonerHitler November 13, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Aw, MAN! You OUTED me! (Hugs the Gem, kisses both cheeks)

Yeah! It was HARD! Or Ann said it was, anyway. (beams)

Geminisunmars November 13, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Sorry I misspelled your name. And you'll share your prize money with everyone (me), won't you?

BaldarTFlagass November 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm

If this fucker is related to Elena Kagan, she should kick him in the balls next week at Thanksgiving.

ProgressiveInga November 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Oh, Shit! Thanksgiving is next week?

Goonemeritus November 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I heard a reasonable argument that this approach saves very little actual money. It had to do with deferred medical treatment and other arcane bull-shit but it seemed reasonably scholarly. Any ho I plan to increase my red meat consumption and take up smoking so the joke will be on them.

deanbooth November 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

He should learn to stop worrying and love the bomb.

Geminisunmars November 13, 2012 at 2:27 pm

We'll see by Dec 22.

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:49 am

We should be so lucky.

SmutBoffin November 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

BUTBUTBUT we NEED those shootin' planes to convince everyone else in the world we have large dicks!

Esteev November 13, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Who said we didn't?!

sbj1964 November 14, 2012 at 1:44 am

The rest of the world already thinks Americans are big dicks.

James Michael Curley November 14, 2012 at 6:13 am

Two words! Cod Piece.

smokefilledroommate November 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Me? I love the Alpo.

Esteev November 13, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Thanksgiving coming early?

proudgrampa November 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Meow Mix with milk and sugar ain't bad. A tad crunchy, but not bad…

Weedlord BonerHitler November 13, 2012 at 3:59 pm

We'll serve that for Thanksgiving. Otherwise it's HoboBeans and stale bread crusts.

bobbert November 13, 2012 at 11:41 pm

This is what you get when you find a stranger in the Alpo.

Callyson November 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

I'll settle for having Robert Kagan retire early…today sounds good…

Chet Kincaid_ November 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

"I'm not an economist or a budget analyst, but the film 'Team America: World Police' had a budget of roughly 30 million dollars. Now, imagine what it costs to re-make this picture with life-sized human beings on every street corner in the world — with no box office receipts to recoup!"

VodkaGoGo November 13, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I thought the oil was supposed to pay for it.

BadKitty904 November 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm

OT, but this head-line (from Bobby Jindal, mind you!) made me LOL –

Bobby Jindal: GOP Should 'Stop Being the Stupid Party' http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/13/bobby-jindal-go...

StillGoinGreen November 13, 2012 at 2:36 pm

My Momma always said, "Stupid is as stupid does".

SexySmurf November 13, 2012 at 2:37 pm

They could start by kicking out Bobby Jindal.

GeorgiaBurning November 13, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Poor Bobby, doesn't he know that being stupid is the Republican version of "keeping it real"?

Mumbletypeg November 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Jindal shouldn't worry about the stupids in his party. What should worry him is the reasonably sane-in-other-arenas-of-life Repubs, like I've ascertained numerous Mumbletyfriends & -family to be, that inexplicably let themselves be swayed or dominated by teh stoopidz.

Lascauxcaveman November 13, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Bobby states the Obvious, to which I say, HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Many very loud, vocal, prominent members your Republican party are already making noises about getting even stupider.

So good luck with that, Bobby.

Weedlord BonerHitler November 13, 2012 at 4:10 pm

He doesn't seem to realize he is Brown in a very White party — one that just got kicked to the curb by another Brown recently, and is still smarting from the kicking. They're not gonna take kindly to this uppity PoS telling *them* what to do. Explosion in 5 … 4 … 3 …

Defeatably_Joe November 13, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Jindal has a point. The stupidz in the GOP are like a previously dormant, but presently unmonitored, volcano, which could erupt any day, but let's not waste tax dollars on seismologists or any nonsense like that.

GoodDogThor November 13, 2012 at 7:34 pm

The party clearly needs an exorcism.

weejee November 13, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Israelis, ukeleles, let's remember what national security is really all about.

For the freedomz the 0.1%ers

VodkaGoGo November 13, 2012 at 2:32 pm

What's the big deal here? At the rate I'm saving I won't be able to afford to die until I'm at least 80 or so. Retirement is for liberal looters who borrow from our children's (read, bombs) future instead of working checkout at a Walmart and midnights at 7-11 until they're senile, like real Americans.

StillGoinGreen November 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

We can't attack Iran – yet!! Who will be the enemy in the Red Dawn re-remake for our kids' kids?

GeorgiaBurning November 13, 2012 at 2:35 pm

California

SuspectedDemocrat November 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm

gay marriage?

BadKitty904 November 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Taxes.

prommie November 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

My 401-K is worth pretty much exactly one-half what it would be worth if W Bush and the 2007 Bush Crash had not occurred. And hey waddayaknow, my fucking house lost $175,000 in value (and counting) since the W Bush economic collapse. The amazing thing is that as a direct result of W Bush, I am about $250,000 poorer than I would have been. In my circumstances, I am estimating this means I gotta work another 7 to 10 years before I can retire. I mean, 7 to 10 years longer than I would have had to work, not just another 7 to 10 years, so I am talking into my 70s. So, fuck giving up my retirement for to fend off Iranian hordes, I am afraid of having to give up my retirement if we ever elect another republican president. I know for a fact we just dodged a bullet, the first thing President Bain would have done is declare bankruptcy and steal our fucking pensions.

Oblios_Cap November 13, 2012 at 3:01 pm

I feel your pain. My experience with the Miracle of the Bush Economy is much like yours.

docterry6973 November 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Defense cuts? Anybody?? Defense cuts? Bueller?

I don't think defense cuts are here today.

Oblios_Cap November 13, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Kagan is Bill Kristol stupid.

Esteev November 13, 2012 at 2:39 pm

a return to stable economic growth has become a serious foreign policy problem.

Is Kagan admitting that cutting taxes during 11-years of war is a bad idea?

BlueStateLibel November 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

WTF "Grand Bargain?" There's no "bargaining" when you lose, GOPeers. No, instead you show up at Appomattox Court House with your tail between your legs and take your medicine like men – or like reasonable facsimile of men in your case.

GeorgiaBurning November 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Less defense budget is less money for "policy consultants" and "security analysts". Kagan might have to get a real job.

Chow Yun Flat November 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

.A principal victim in the absence of a deal to address the fiscal crisis has been and will continue to be the national security budget.

And since that is the teat that Robert Kagan sucks it better stay filled with sweet, life giving mother's milk.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Is it okay if I eat dog food instead?

prommie November 13, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Long ago I was told that Ken-L Ration was the only one safe for humans to eat! And, you know, "my dog's bigger than your dog, my dog's bigger than yours. . . ."

Chow Yun Flat November 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

The present global economic and political order, which has provided the environment in which the United States has been able to loot resources, exploit labor, destroy foreign domestic industries and which supplies stable, long-term employment for hacks and charlatans like Robert Kagan…

Cognitive Dissident November 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

yeah, reform entitlements: entitlements to Lockheed Martin, Boeing, General Dynamics are all good places to start.

Oblios_Cap November 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

The present global economic and political order, which has provided the environment in which the United States has grown and prospered for decades, is built on and around American power and influence.

Actually, the shit we find ourselves dealing with these days is the result of this country throwing its weight around and bullying the rest of the world for so many decades.

qwerty42 November 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm

I think we need a few dozen more aircraft carriers so we can name them after racist old southern segregationists. That and go to war with Iran. Then everything will come up roses.

smellypossum November 13, 2012 at 3:17 pm

What's he whining about? Horses and bayonets really aren't THAT expensive.

poorgradstudent November 13, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Seeing someone involved with the military complain about how they're not getting enough because of the social safety net is just like seeing a fat, rich person demand that a homeless person give up a stale sandwich.

proudgrampa November 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm

My 401k became a 201k.

metamarcisf November 13, 2012 at 3:38 pm

She's married to THIS piece of shit?

Geminisunmars November 13, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Who?

DixvilleCrotch November 13, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I'm eating Fancy Feast right now… are things actually going to get worse??

Geminisunmars November 13, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Look at you with all your fancy delicacies.

Negropolis November 14, 2012 at 1:46 am

Name brand, eye? You'll be eating store brand by January.

GeneralLerong November 13, 2012 at 3:42 pm

How about we just retire all the secession petitioners to Iran and call it good?

StillGoinGreen November 13, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Here in Texas, we "survived" the real estate bubble… if you count only losing $60 in equity on a $350k house survival (if you can find a buyer). Although our $350k here is $700-1M on the coasts. As for 401k, nobody survived that one. I am 45 and was ahead of pace to retire at 58 – now, I'm looking optimistically at 62-65, but realistically 68-70.

prommie November 13, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Listen to us olds!

StillGoinGreen November 13, 2012 at 3:55 pm

GET.OFF.MY.LAWN!!

Q_R_DeNameland November 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I'm puzzled. I thought we were supposed to be all super excited about spending bazillions on Israel because Israel is a democracy. But they have universal health care, and so they are actually communists? So we should secede from them? Help!

randcoolcatdaddy November 13, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Touch my social security and you'll be probing to get a pitchfork and the sharpened teeth of my dentures out of your buttcrack.

En_Buenora November 13, 2012 at 4:29 pm

It will truly help our young people get jobs if all the older Americans have to hang onto them much, much longer, because, um, FREEDOM!

Wile E. Quixote November 13, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I'm willing to work until I'm dead if we institute a policy of immediately harvesting the organs of all neo-con policy wanks like Robert Kagan. Plus think of how much bio-diesel you could get from rendering his fat ass and the fat asses of everyone at Brookings, AEI, CEI, etc.

Defeatably_Joe November 13, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I am not an economist or a budget analyst,

It shows.

AncienReggie November 13, 2012 at 6:16 pm

If this guy/these douchnozzles really want to "reform entitlements" what they ought to do is jack the payments by about 100%. That way all the old and sick people could spend twice as much on cat food and ratty sweaters, which would be an actual boost for the economy. All the businesses that sell cat food and ratty sweaters would have to hire a bunch more people and then THOSE people could buy actual human food and pre-ratty sweaters … and the cycle of spreading prosperity could just go on and on and etc.

This same benefit would accrue from giving lots more money to poor families with poor children,of course, except that group would make their economic contribution through buying shoes and school supplies!

Is everybody happy? (No, of course not: Haters still all bummed that the misery index is dropping. But fuck them.)

Woodshedding November 13, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Was anybody else as dumb as me and somehow had a vague impression that once the election was over we'd stop hearing endless and utter INSANITY come out of the mouths of idiot republicans?

Fuck Toad November 13, 2012 at 7:03 pm

"the government borrows from it… the government could borrow more money to pay it back"

No it doesn't. No it couldn't. Please please PLEASE read up on the structure of the Social Security system before parroting the right-wing line on this. (Did you notice your link here was to an advocate of privatization?)

Social Security payments are made from the current year's Social Security tax. Any surplus collected is, by law, used to purchase (essentially) Treasury securities. This is intragovernmental debt — it's money the government owes itself. It's actually a huge part of our current federal debt.

The federal government then goes on to spend that money on services like any other revenue. It could potentially sequester that revenue in a fund, but what would it invest it in? What form of savings is more reliable than Treasury securities? You can't just pile up money in a vault somewhere. So the government doesn't "borrow" from the Social Security Trust Fund — the government's debt IS the Social Security Trust Fund.

The Social Security Trust Fund is not allowed to retain its surplus (how would it? the only stable way to save money is in government debt) nor is it able to sell those securities for any purpose other than covering current expenses. So no, the government can't "pay back" what it "borrowed" either — all it'd be doing is transferring its debt from the Social Security Trust Fund to the open market.

Basically, when the Trust Fund was designed, it was understood that for a period of time the Social Security tax would collect more than the program needed to function. So they decided to 'save' the surplus as a legal obligation the US Government has to the program. The expectation now is that the US Government will pay for the program's deficit as long as the Trust Fund holds out — which is until the '30s or so. This means either transferring the debt to the market, raising revenue, or cutting spending.

This gives us another 20 years or so to figure out how to adjust Social Security to make its long-run costs match its long-run revenue. To an extent, this happens automatically — after all, the Baby Boomers aren't going to live forever, and then the much smaller Generation X will be retiring and having their benefits paid by the somewhat larger generations that followed (such as mine). The point of the Trust Fund is to smooth over those troughs. However, we might need to adjust some aspects of the program to keep it solvent. We can increase or eliminate the payroll tax cap, or increase the payroll tax, or add a Social Security tax to other forms of income (like capital gains), or increase the retirement age, or reduce benefits. If we do nothing at all, the last option will automatically take effect: benefits will be reduced.

In conclusion: ARGH, STOP SAYING THE GOVERNMENT LOOTED THE SOCIAL SECURITY TRUST FUND IT'S NOT TRUE

ETA: L@@K I made a SPREADSHEET: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AnwF

GoodDogThor November 13, 2012 at 7:37 pm

We can't touch the national security budget. Someone's gotta pay the per minute charge for all that military sexting.

Negropolis November 14, 2012 at 1:20 am

I am not an economist or a budget analyst….

[/endofthread]

BTW, it's always about "upholding this order" isn't it? There is no debate allowed on whether "this order" is moral or right, and even if it is, where we could tweak it. No, our primary directive as a nation is to "uphold this order." Because. This not-so-curious adherence to giving deference to existing authority is a very dangerous worldview, and I'm glad we pushed most of Dubya's neo-cons and their thought out of this current administration.

The military-industrial complex is hungry. It's always hungry. It will never be sated, and it's a the errand of a fool not to question it. I don't think many people truly appreciate the bullets we dodged in 2008 and 2012 with McCain and Romney. This beast would have eaten us alive.

No, Kagan, we are not going to sacrifice on the altar of the complex our oldz and the future of our children because the military beast has no self-control, because the beast's stomach is a black hole.

The beast is just gonna have to deal with it. No, you can not always have what you want. It's over, your motherfuckers. The Perpetual War Machine is being wound down and your asses just got beat for a second time in a row.

aklibtard November 14, 2012 at 2:23 am

further fucking cuts in military spending?! What fucking cuts have they been making that they could be furthered? Unless spending more money on the military industrial complex actually means we're spending less money on it, then I think their increasing budget every god damn year means that there haven't been cuts.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2012 at 11:29 am

You can have my job when you pry if from my cold, dead hands.

("Take This Job and Shove It" has been, er, retired as a working-class anthem.)

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2012 at 11:39 am

They hate us for our pensions.

ttommyunger November 14, 2012 at 11:44 am

So, what credentials are required to attain the lofty status of "National Security Analyst"? Oh, right: suck a Koch on demand.

James Michael Curley November 14, 2012 at 6:06 am

When I was getting the print edition I would turn to the back page first thing to check it out.

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