makers & morning bakers

Failed SNL Comedienne Victoria Jackson Continues Being Not Racist Or Crazy At All

We took this in Charlotte. On acid. She wasn't that nice.Victoria Jackson, best known for her invention “The Love Toilet,” continues to wow audiences with her hilarious comedy stylings 20 years after last appearing anywhere in the media entertainment complex. How is she achieving this? With a Colbertian, or maybe Kaufmanian, embodiment of a hilarious character she calls “racist wackjob who is in no way actually Victoria Jackson.” And she has more for us this fine fine newsday!

We first noted Jackson’s sly Twitter feed this morning in the context of @jfruh’s brillz post on whatever it is Texas idiots are threatening to do now. But @jfruh, unaccountably, declined to add Victoria Jackson to his list of performance artists.

She tweets everything twice!

But what clever jokes had come just hours before Victoria Jackson’s expose of the secessionist mindset? Oh, just this little bit o’ honey:

We don’t even know where to begin in explaining that black and Latino families having higher rates of assistance than white families does not mean whites, “statistically,” are all rugged pioneer individuals taking care of their own, since even at levels that are lower than among black or Latino families, there are still plenty of white people “statistically” on welfare. (Although a good place to start might be Under the Banner of Heaven. That is a fuckton of white people having one hundred children each and living large off Victoria Jackson, patriot!)

But obviously we do not need to explain that to Victoria Jackson at all, because clearly it was just a joke. What else could it be?

[Twitter]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barbara_

    "White people don't have more children than they can take care of?"
    I am the second youngest of nine children, you idiot. No one can afford that many children, unless you are an Osmond.

    • nounverb911

      How many kids could the Duggar's afford without a reality show?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        OCTOMOM LIBEL!

        • Esteev

          But the Octomom actually has a lucrative entertainment gig.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            I'm betting her porn video sold about as well as Donald Trump's cologne

          • Lizzietish81

            But her perfume will do better than the Trump's Porn Video.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            IthinkI'mgonnaHURL *runs to bathroom*

          • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

            After watching the Donald masturbate on camera, you'll need some of that perfume to cover the stink pouring from your eyeballs.

          • Jus_Wonderin

            I wonder if he combs over "down there"? NO, I really don't wonder.

          • HELisforHEL

            EYE BLEACH, STAT

          • foog

            A 'murkin with a merkin?

      • Redgyal

        But but but….they are earning their money by making their family a TV show. The donations and tax break from calling the house a church don't hurt either.

      • Left_Leftie

        Effing Duggars was the first thing I thought of when I saw this. UGH! I hate that Victoria and I have the same last name! Statistically most JACKSONS are Blah!

        • clairedammit

          Will you be my Blah friend?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Many Hassidic families, too. Also.

      Too.

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        Also.

      • Sir_Fartz_Alot

        no dogs or jewz, plz

    • SorosBot

      I went to Catholic school for 13 years. Did Victoria somehow manage to go through life without ever meeting any Irish people? Or is she invested in the real old-timey racism under which the Irish weren't considered white either.

      • Lizzietish81

        I grew up around Italians, but they're not really white either…

        • Fare la Volpe

          More taupe, really.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        HELP WANTED
        Irish Need Not Apply

    • Lizzietish81

      Oh I got it, she's including East Asians too, because they're practically white right?

    • miss_grundy

      Just out of curiosity, has this chick ever been to Appalachia or south of the Mason-Dixon line????

    • sbj1964

      Catholics unite,and let's show those Chinks how to make babies!

  • nounverb911

    Vicky wants to secede? Don't let the screen door hit you on the ass when you leave.

    • Nowisallthereis

      Did you mean barn door?

    • teebob2000

      It's the size of the side of a barn. Couldn't miss it.

  • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

    Victoria seceded from reality a long time ago.

    • sbj1964

      This one is strong with the Farce.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Somewhere LaToya and the ghost of Michael are crying in sadness because they are no longer the craziest Jacksons of them all, trumped by White Wacko Jacko.

    • SnarkOff

      "Miss Jackson" if you're nasty.

    • sbj1964

      SNL Stupid,Nut,lady?

  • Fare la Volpe

    Who?

    • Serolf_Divad

      I think she's Ted Nugent's mom, or something like that.

    • sbj1964

      Garett Morris's ex wife?

  • GregComlish

    Statistically speaking it is better to SECEDE than have a Civil War

    • Pragmatist2

      Depends on te criteria. Undertakers, for example, do better during civil wars.

      • GregComlish

        Yes, but I'm sure Victoria Jackson is using the general American population as her sampling space when she generates statistics. Except she probably excludes blacks because she's racist.

        • miss_grundy

          And latinos, because we aren't white either….

    • SigDeFlyinMonky

      Secession goes in, civil war comes out. Who can explain it?

    • Swampgas_Man

      Statistically, if at first you don't SECEDE. . . .?

    • sbj1964

      Let the Red states go.They can wallow in ignorance all they want,and won't be dragging the rest of us down.Stupid is a drag on the economy.

  • snowpointsecret

    All those fundamentalist Christian families with many kids suddenly aren't white? That's going to be a huge shock to them…

    • Ruhe

      That's different…they're just making sure that God's quiver is full…of votes!

    • GemlikeFlame

      Yep. Victoria's right. Black as the ace of spades (a lovely little Southern euphemism my grandmother taught me for occasions when the n-word might be thought crass) each and every one of them. The crushing irony is that the website is apparently for Christians of color. Go figure.
      http://blackchristiannews.com/news/2009/07/life-w

      • sbj1964

        The N-word? You do know black people are not all 5 year olds.They know how to spell.

        • GemlikeFlame

          Actually, yes, but my family very much acts like five year olds. To tell the family secret, my 5x grandmother on my mother's side was an octaroon slave, but given the relative lack of pigmentation in my skin, I can easily pass for white.

          But I've never felt good about that word, so I avoid using it, and apologize to my fellow persons of some to not much color for the lack of precision in my writing.

  • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

    Here's a little known fact, you willfully ignorant twat: Who Gets Food Stamps?
    "36 percent were white (non-Hispanic), 22 percent were African American (non-Hispanic) and 10 percent were Hispanic."

    • Esteev

      Yes, but the white people deserve that aid.

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        Because they are white and have been cheated out of everything by shifty-eyed brown peoplez.

        • Esteev

          Do you people not watch the NBA?!

          • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

            The National Butthurt Association?

          • Esteev

            That response is glorious.

          • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

            Thanks. I'm one for 3,798 comments now.

          • Dr_Zoidberg

            Not me! I only watch the NASCAR!

          • GunToting[Redacted]

            Willy T. Ribbs libel.

    • hagajim

      You forgot, the GOP doesn't do numbers.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Willfully ignorant twat? I think you just gave her the name for her one woman show!

      • HELisforHEL

        THAT title would actually fill seats, unlike her going out under her name.

      • carlgt1

        sounds like a bad version of "The Vagina Monologues"!

    • sbj1964

      White people need to stop sucking off the teet of America.

  • memzilla

    Yes, Victoria, just like how well your career went after you seceded from SNL.

    #unreturnedcalls

    • http://www.marionstein.net Ground Zero Mostel

      Actually, she was fired.

      • memzilla

        With Votes!

        #selfdeludedhasbeens

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Not according to Vicky. She had a heated debate with a writer at the Village Voice who suggested otherwise, and her then-agent confirmed she quit.

        Of course, Lorne Michaels refused to comment, so…

    • rmjagg

      hollywood seceded from victoria jackson's career and look who's laughing now …

      • BadKitty904

        She showed THEM, by golly! Now, she's (obviously and unintentionally) a free-lance comedienne…

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          It's really generous of her to provide all these laughs and not charge munnees for them

  • Lizzietish81

    "Better to secede than have a Civil War"

    Clearly she is a subtle genius.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      And she should be careful on the way out not to let the door hit her wide ass.

      • Lizzietish81

        Hey! Don't knock wide asses, a lot of men like them and are totes honest.

        • thedeathofirony

          *this guy*

    • OzoneTom

      And a Pre-Madonna.

  • SnarkOff

    Speaking of careers in entertainment, Victoria, it's better to SUCCEED than secede.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      She'll prolly have to suck seed to get another chances at succeeding, also.

  • luckismine

    Why can't blacks and latinos behave more like the upstanding white men running our defense and intelligence communities?

  • Lucidamente1

    So just who did abuse Victoria Jackson when she was a child? An uncle? Her father? Lorne Michaels?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Jesus

    • Esteev

      Indoctrinating teachers abused her with requests for "critical thinking."

    • kyeshinka

      The Ambiguously Gay Duo?

      • prommie

        Honestly, I don't see it.

    • BadKitty904

      Kermit?

    • Esteev

      A coked-up Chevy Chase?

    • Crank_Tango

      Hitler.

    • HELisforHEL

      All of them, Katie?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Emo Phillips? Weird Al?

  • prommie

    I am doing this same kinda thing, actually! I am doing a Kaufman-esque, or maybe more Joaquin Pheonix-esque, performance art piece. Did you all know that far from being the cynical, bitter, angry person who also occasionally bites at any hand that comes too close, I am really a very kind, soft-hearted, sentimental, happy person! The only similarity between my persona here and the reality is my gigantic raging ego!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I'm doing the same thing, only ironically, so I'm portraying a bastard-coated bastard with a bastard filling but with a heart of bastard.

      • nothingisamiss

        Mmmmm…bastard.

      • Nothingisamiss

        Mmmmmm….bastard.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Octomom would like a word.

    • el_donaldo

      Please, please, let there be no Victoria Jackson porn.

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        I just threw up.

      • BadKitty904

        Aw, man…

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I didn't want to see that when she was on SNL, and so thank you for placing that image in my head now…

      • Fare la Volpe

        Aaaaaand my dry spell just extended to EVEN LONGER THANK YOU.

  • Botlrokit

    She always reminded me of a Pentecostal woman. Bad hair, loud, grating voices, and taking weird aspects of life very seriously.

    • BadKitty904

      The crazy-eyes glasses complete the kit.

    • kyeshinka

      Don't forget the piety! And jello. Pentacostals LOVE jello.

      • Botlrokit

        and ice water with lots of lemon! They'll sweeten it to taste. Literally called "Pentecostal Lemonade".

  • Goonemeritus

    Statistically speaking America thinks Victoria Jackson would benefit from a nice comforting program of Electro-Convulsive Therapy.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Hell, let's just beat her with a rubber hose.

    • rmjagg

      or Electro-Convulsive Burial

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        …Of votes….oh wait! That happened!

    • SorosBot

      Or some Electric Light therapy; a little Mr. Blue Sky might help this Evil Woman feel like she's in Xanadu.

      • DCBloom

        Well done!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Vicky, I think you meant to spell it "SEE SEED"

  • SorosBot

    Better to SECEDE than have a civil war? Um, Victoria, you might want to go back to third grade and learn how that last civil war got started, along with the basic rules of cause and effect.

    • BadKitty904

      Say, how'd that turn out, anyways?

      • Fare la Volpe

        "So so."

        — KKK Member

    • FakaktaSouth

      see, the petition looks like this (and fills in whatever state):
      we petition the obama administration to:
      Peacefully grant the State of Georgia to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

      IT SAYS RIGHT THERE, peacefully. Is this not the smartest fucking thing you've seen in forever? Grant us this, because we are Americans, and we say so, come on, don't be a dick. I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK? I cannot stand to think about how many really stupid people there are here.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      to be fair, no one would stop them this time.

    • NellCote71

      You do mean The Wah of Northern Agsression, don't you sweetie pie?

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Just make sure she isn't involved in the General Pet. clusterfuck.

    TYIA.

  • snowpointsecret

    Clearly, being white and rich qualifies you as being successful. Paris Hilton for president!

  • hagajim

    When you say "IT was a joke" I assume the it to whom you refer is Victoria Jackson.

  • Cleopatriot

    Who?

    • kyeshinka

      Victoria Jackson. She cleans up the cum pools at the Back Alley porn theater. Not a great job but, well, bootstraps and such.

      • Esteev

        As the saying goes, "Do what you love."

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      V-Jak!

  • Esteev

    Nothing says "Love Of Country" like calling for secession from it.

    • BadKitty904

      They've def got a real "America Second!" thing goin' on…

    • VaWyo

      If you love something, set if free. If it goes back to you… I can't remember the rest but think it applies.

      • NellCote71

        I think you have to kill it. With votes, of course.

    • bikerlaureate

      That was last week. Now they just wanna give up and "go home".

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Hey Vickie. Your side's moral chiding, rape rationalizing, calling everyone except upper crust whiteys leeches who “want stuff” is totally a winning strategy. Also, don’t forget to defend the poor, downtrodden millionaires. It shows political courage.

  • DixvilleCrotch

    She is rockin' the crazy schoolmarm look there.

  • http://www.marionstein.net Ground Zero Mostel

    The sad saga of the girl who could stand on her head and now has it permanently stuck up her ass.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Better to suck seed than be a civil whore. Wait, what?

    • Nothingisamiss

      Very good. Bravo.

  • Negropolis

    BTW, someone might want to explain to Vickie that birthrates for almost every ethnic group are now at or below replacement.

    • Ruhe

      And thus the "Homosexual Agenda" succeeds better than secession.

      • BadKitty904

        Exxxxx-cellent! *rubs hands a la Mr. Burns*

    • kyeshinka

      Just picturing her during sex would make me shoot blanks.

      • VodkaGoGo

        Whisky dick without the whisky.

  • coolhandnuke

    Is she doing her Harry Carey impersonation?
    Might I suggest hari kari instead.

    • Esteev

      With dull votes.

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        Dull, rusty votes.

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          Dull, rusty, slow votes.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      It's only a mater of time…with votes.

  • el_donaldo

    But there's apparently one white family that didn't bother to smother their brain-dead girl-child to prevent her dependency on shameless media whoring. Smothered with votes, that is.

    • Fare la Volpe

      You leave the Palins out of this.

  • SorosBot

    Say, at the end of that Love Toilet sketch the voiceover was by fellow SNL vet Al Franken. Wonder what he's up to today, is he just a little bit more successful than Jackson now?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      You know, you never hear from him. He's probably involved in meetings and such.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        Or he's stuck in some frozen wasteland, somewhere, too.

  • Negropolis

    Shhh! Nobody tell her that the secession caused the Civil War.

    Bless her heart.

  • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

    Since Miss Jackson continually mistakenly identifies President Obama as a Communist, I am just wondering what her impression would be of an actual Communist.

    It's kind of like saying "Mao Tse Tung was a Capitalist!" or "Fidel Castro is actually Steve Jobs!" That's the level of fundamental disconnect we're dealing with here.

    Plus, she's fat, unfunny and her voice is incredibly annoying.

  • Not_So_Much

    Any chance of a three-way with her and the screaming YouTube lady?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      yer a better man than I, Gunga Din.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        "Once more unto the breech!"

        • TribecaMike

          "Into the valley of death rode the six hundred."

    • Swampgas_Man

      Wear protection. Ear plugs.

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Nothing says "my fringe views are wholly dismissive" more than linking to world nut daily as a credible news source.

    • bikerlaureate

      And earlier in her Twitter stream she repeatedly informed us "I miss Breitbart"….

  • freakishlywrong

    Told ya! Another 4 mothafucking years of this shit.

    • NellCote71

      Better them mewling than ruling.

  • BadKitty904

    Who, exactly, is going to fight this "civil war" the Wingtards keep yapping about? *They* certainly aren't going to hoist their obese butts off the couch and take to the field. 'Sides, I'd have to point out, in the kindest possible way, that a.) most hoverounds aren't built for cross-country maneuvers, and b.) anyone who's literally as big as the side of a barn is gonna make a pretty easy target.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Hee hee hee!

    • schvitzatura

      Unless sequestration and the fiscal cliff hits, I'd bet dollars to donuts that in the next defense procurement bill there will be a request for monies to uparmor Hoverounds.

    • VaWyo

      The war will have to include insulin and cookie breaks.

      • kyeshinka

        And stops to the Bishop's Buffet.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      "I keep my reaching broom and my assault rifle next to the TV remote, just in case."

  • Terry

    "White people don't have more children than they can take care of without outside assistance."

    Apparently, Miz Jackson doesn't watch reality TV or shop at WalMart.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Or eat at "All You Can Eat" buffet restaurants, especially the ones with the "you must empty your pockets before leaving" signs.

  • Fare la Volpe

    You know, when other SNL alums didn't land that 5-star movie deal, they went on to do good things like adopt a wonderful child from China and then adorably teach them sex-ed.

    Victoria glugged one Drano bottle too many and blamed it on ein Schwarzer.

    • TribecaMike

      Julia Sweeney is a sweetie.

  • StarsUponThars

    It's that hair bow. Cuts off blood flow to the brain.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Perhaps it's her belt that does that.

  • kyeshinka

    The problem is, to have a civil war, you need TWO sides that want to fight. Otherwise it's just a riot and by looking at your typical teabag, well…you just can't riot in a Ford Excursion.

    • SorosBot

      Hoverround riots would be funny.

      • kyeshinka

        More mobile, anyway.

      • NellCote71

        Bumperounds?

  • rmjagg

    she and her minions will colonize fort sumter , fire the first shot and then get a shellacking

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Say, Victoria, you don't sweat much, for a fat girl.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Ever heard of Octomom, bitch?

    • kyeshinka

      I'm sure she's had eight pairs of hands inside of her. (Cudos to Lisa Lampanelli.)

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Her makeup and teeth seem okay, why can't she do something about that hair?

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    What the hell did Miller and Jackson get into back in the 80s? Hope it was worth it.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      I'm thinking it was the same bad lot, at the same desultory after party.

  • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Isn't it about time we let Victoria's Secret be her very existence? Her mindless rants have become as commonplace as attempted robberies at 7-Eleven.

    Begone, mad twat! Begone with thy sisters Caribou and CrazyEyes! Confine thy rants to the non-world of WorldNut Daily!

    Begone, I say, and darken our Wonk no more!

  • Esteev

    Personally, I can't wait until white people hold more positions of power.

  • TootsStansbury

    What a dumbass. Is that a redundant pair of spex up in the hair-nest? It's kind of freaking me out.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Trix dropped acid when she took that, so it's possible you're hallucinating them.

    • BadKitty904

      Those are for spotting Commies…

    • BaldarTFlagass

      They're secret x-ray spex for identifying commies, kinda like those glasses Roddy Piper found in They Live.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Put. The. Glasses. ON!

    • freakishlywrong

      She's twice as smart, you see.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        Those are the glasses she uses to find her glasses.

  • Redhead

    White people don't have children they can't take care of without government assistance? Errrrrrm…. Bristol Palin, anyone?

  • CommieDad

    I like her new character. Excellent satire. Here are some more (not at all racisit) ideas:

    * Secession is a responsible solution that only white people have the moral courage to support.

    * Obama is BLACK, so he must be a commie.

    * Obama's center right policies are undermining the progress made by Bush and Clinton and taking us back to the bad old days of Reagan and Bush.

    * Obama is BLACK, so he must be a COMMIE.

    * White people's are better because our ancestors paid to come to America.

    * I am not a racist. I just think black people should have their own country.

    * Obama is BLACK, so he MUST be a COMMIE.

    • Lizzietish81

      You forgot, Obama is also a Muslim.

      • CommieDad

        * Obama is a BLACK MUSLIM so he must be a COMMIE.

        * Obama is a BLACK MUSLIM who goes to a BLACK CHRISTIAN church so he must be a BLACK COMMIE.

        * BLACK BLACK BLACK

    • TribecaMike

      I like the jib of her cut.

  • hagajim

    I am surprised how quiet the Snowbilly Grifter has been on all this.

  • Crank_Tango

    Um, you spelled suicide wrong, asshole.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Here's a riddle for Mz Jackson:

    Q: What has two thumbs and wishes you'd just shut the hell up already?

    A: This guy.

  • Steverino247

    If at first you do not secede, try, try again.

  • VaWyo

    I read Under the Banner of Heaven a few weeks ago. It was terrifying and terribly interesting. The child sexual abuse/ rape/incest was a bit hard to read about because it is so disgusting.

    Everyone should read it to learn about our home grown American religion. You will not be surprised to learn that Joesph Smith's wife called bullshit on the whole polygamy thing. He even sent his brother to tell her about it and his brother said he had never been screamed at like that before.

    They believe it is ok to accept assistance from the government because the government is so awful that it is righteous to take their money. When Texas goes they should take Utah, Idaho and Arizona too.

  • anniegetyerfun

    No lie, The Love Toilet skit still gives me hives.

  • blueflowers

    You ALL have too many fucking children, hows about that?

  • Guppy

    "Responsibility?" I personally call it "employers have a 'moral objection' to both paying for the pill and paying a wage that actually allows employees to afford the pill."

    • CommieDad

      Responsible people would limit themselves to buttsecks.

      • Esteev

        I'm turning over a new leaf.

      • Guppy

        Wonkett: the most responsible website on all the Internets!

  • Estproph

    She was an unknown on SNL, and her career went down after that.

  • ElPinche

    Victoria Jackson is statistically a sperm burping road whore.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      No need to sugar coat it, you're among friends here.

  • prommie

    I refuse to watch that "Love Toilet" skit (isn't Bubba the Love Toilet" some DJ from Tampa?), but would I be correct in assuming that a "love toilet" would be where blumpkins and grumpy munchkins take place?

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Larry Craig's unofficial 2nd office was also called "The Love Toilet".

  • LibrarianX

    The earth's atmosphere has too much oxygen for Ms. Jackson's wee small brain. This is the reason she seems insane.

  • T3rbo

    Sheesh, with the welfare thing again? It took me a while to digest the fallacious right wing argument, but I think this is it:

    Food stamps and income assistance are some kind of unfunded liability and contribute to the national debt
    Entitlement programs count for 50% of all federal spending
    Food stamps and income assistance are bleeding the country out

    As far as I could tell, the total federal budget for TANF (WELFARE!!!) was $16 billion dollars, and SNAP (FOOD STAMPS!!!!) was something like $60 billion dollars. I think that evens out to 70 f-22 raptor fighter planes.

    Dummies confuse entitlement programs deliberately to argue that food stamps are bankrupting us and are something we can't afford: social security, medicaid, and medicare are part of this 'entitlement' spending that is 50% of the federal budget, so we should somehow kick poor people off nutrition and income assistance programs.

    • CommieDad

      You are over thinking it. Here's the argument:

      * Food stamps help poor (black) people.
      * Black people vote Democrat.

      • NellCote71

        And there are more black people on welfare than any other group in America, therefore Obama wins the election. So simple, really, I don't see how the Republicans missed this.

  • Come here a minute

    I preferred her Mighty Mouse routine.

  • Serolf_Divad

    Statistically speaking, Victoria Jackson doesn't like minorities

    But she's not being racist, mind you… she's being mathematical.

    • Lizzietish81

      And she has the faux glasses to prove it!

  • DahBoner

    AFBSW?

    Another Fat Blonde Said What?

  • spareme

    Victoria needs to go home and eat a few packs of cookies and a gallon of ice cream, that ought to make her feel better.

  • scottsteaux63

    Stupid woman. She should quit waving that Bible of hers about like a bludgeon, siddown, crack it open, and READ IT. Because somewhere in his letters (I forget exactly where but she can find it for herself), Paul explicitly told people of the church (I'm thinking Rome but not sure) to "pray for their leaders" (meaning the government) because they were put in place by God. It's in the Bible and if she wants to remain a literalist she needs to do her homework and face up to what's actually there instead of pulling proof texts out of her fat ass (to say nothing of context) that prove absolutely nothing.

  • LibertyLover

    A little inconvenient fact for Ms. Jackson, but more people on welfare are the white, working poor.

  • TribecaMike

    This doesn't bode well for the president's chances of being reelected.

  • owhatever

    Who would have guessed that Victoria Jackson was not having to act to portray a dumb blonde on SNL?

  • Mojopo

    "As it stands, the bill has only one such feature; the Independent Payment Advisory Board, otherwise called by its acronym "IPAB" or more commonly the death panel. This provision puts 15 bureaucrats in charge of deciding where to cut costs and funding for certain health care services."

    • NellCote71

      And this differs from insurance companies deciding on your healthcare, how?

  • Detesticle

    Victoria Jackson and Dennis Miller are a two-man twat-pocalypse from the taint-th season of SNL.

  • http://italkyoubored.wordpress.com/ ffredpalakon

    You want to use the word "statistics" while talking to this woman? You'll just get holy water all over you.

    Oh, and Ms. Jackson? We appreciate your hard work over the past four years for our audition process, but Julianne Moore will be playing the mom in our re-make of Carrie.

  • TribecaMike

    I must begrudgingly admit to being impressed by Ms. Jackson's ability to avoid confusing "than" with "then."

    It was literature's loss that she gave up a promising future as Susan Sontag's intellectual better in favor of being a has-been-who-never-was.

  • christianmuslin

    Palin-Jackson 2016

  • christianmuslin

    VS Clinton and the bisexual athiest

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    If the south succceeds we all can declare success!

  • rickmaci

    Pretty much committed career suicide, not because of her politics, because she is demonstrably batshitfuckingcrazyoutofhermind. Also kind of hard to make a living as a comedienne when you are not funny or as an actor when you can't act.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    If only twits like Vicky had an iota of a clue, but. again. who. cares.

  • mosaickmind

    How silly of me! I took her comments literally. I didn't realize she came from the school of Colbert..What a genius!

  • Halloween Jack

    What If… Victoria Jackson had never existed?

    1) The '87-92 SNL cast would have been even funnier, on the average, and millions of people like me wouldn't have cringed a little every time she came on the screen.

    2) Um, that's about it.

  • capabilitybrouse

    Also, who wants to break the bad news to Victoria Jackson that her current Twitter avatar is a Toulouse-Lautrec portrait of a lesbian clown, modeled after portraits of Japanese prostitutes?

    I mean, it doesn't matter to me, but somehow I think that she'd be a wee bit upset if she knew.

  • elgin_pelican

    John Belushi, dead, is more successful than V Jackson, alive.

  • JackObin

    Oh look, a fat, stupid American female who nobody should be paying attention to. Meanwhile, has anyone heard that matter is decaying?

  • http://twitter.com/goat_thrower goat_thrower

    Matthew 19:9

  • BenGleck

    You take issue with abortion, don't want birth control, especially if paid for by the govt, and then you COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW MANY KIDS BLACKS AND LATINOS HAVE! ARE YOU INSANE, LADY?!?!
    Sorry, she just gets on my last nerve.

  • teapartynyc2011

    "20 years after last appearing anywhere in the media entertainment complex."

    Huh, so it is 2033? http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0414130/

  • ttommyunger

    Catch Victoria in Branson, Mssouri doing a duet with Pat Boone accompanied by Ted (tiny peen) Nugent on the gee tar.

  • clecinosu

    "Bat Shit Crazy." By Victoria Jackson.