happy families

Arizona Woman Should Have Just Run Over Her Husband ‘With Votes’

she only regrets that she has but one husband to give for her countrySo how’s things in Arizona these days, Phoenix New Times? Anybody from an obviously super best marriage snap once it became clear the South would have to secede all over again? Oh a lady ran her husband over with her Jeep, because it was his fault Obama won because he didn’t vote? Gee, that sounds right.

Mesa resident Holly Solomon thinks it’s her husband’s fault that President Obama was re-elected last week, because he didn’t vote.

Not only does Solomon, 28, have a thorough misunderstanding of our nation’s electoral system, she also ran over her husband with her car because of this, according to Gilbert police.

In an e-mail to media, Gilbert police Sergeant Jesse Sanger says the argument started in a parking lot Saturday morning over Daniel Solomon’s lack of voter participation.

“According to Daniel, Holly believed her family was going to face hardship as a result of President Obama’s re-election,” Sanger says.

Witnesses told police that there was a lot of yelling before Holly Solomon hopped in her Jeep, and started chasing her husband around the parking lot.

Her husband tried to use a light pole to shield himself, and Solomon drove around the light pole several times as she continued to yell at him.

Eventually, her husband made a run for it, but Solomon hit him, pinning him under the car and on a curb, according to police.

Sorry you are in critical condition, Holly Solomon’s husband Daniel. Please send your wife over to Wonkette, to learn the finer points of maiming people with votes, just as soon as she is out of jail for your attempted murder.

[NewTimes]

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  • el_donaldo

    Pro tip: if you get pinned by a Jeep against a curb, try to free your arms to protect your skull from penetrative attacks.

    • http://lookatthisfuckingcentrist.wordpress.com Both Sides Do It

      Good for now, but this tactic will soon be outdated. All the Jeeps will soon be produced by the Chinese, and they're instituting new bumpers explicitly designed to keep your arms pinned and unable to fend off penetrative attacks.

      Brilliant strategy from the Chinese, really, destroy your enemy from within: get our elites to gut our economy and then start making cars that aide homicide. Frankly I wouldn't be surprised if his name was actually Mitt Rom Nee.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Will they prevent Chinese Fire Drills, tho?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      As tragic as this story is, it needs more Yakkity Sax

      • el_donaldo

        If Benny Hill would have done it, the Jeep would have been full of women in lingerie, and after they hit the guy, they would do a double-time Chinese fire drill before getting back into the Jeep and backing it into a pond.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          All while being chased by two cops on foot.

          • Gleem McShineys

            Where's the little old bald man, whose head receives constant slapping?

          • Starburster

            In my pants.

            Too easy.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Queen Solomon aint too wise.

    • PugglesRule

      Quick! Run into her house and make sure she hasn't divided her baby.

  • snowpointsecret

    I hope she ends up with life in prison. But not with votes.

  • Boojum

    This is why we have the Electoral College: So no one is to blame.

  • coolhandnuke

    Jeepers, creepers…where does Arizona get those freepers.

    • blakechandler

      Thank you! I have come back to this comment at least 3x and I laugh louder each time!

  • Callyson

    Ladies and gentlemen, meet the first finalist for the Darwin award…

    • Terry

      Dunno about that. This woman knew exactly what she was doing.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        True, but with any luck she's just given up any chance she had to reproduce, either with her husband or anyone else. By the time she gets out of prison if she's still young enough, hopefully the next unlucky guy who comes along will think to ask, "So what happened to your last marriage?"

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Oh please! Like no inmate at a women's prison has ever fucked for cigarettes, or had a baby….

    • Pat_Pending

      That would go to Holly's husband for marrying her in the first place.

    • CthuNHu

      Not her, him.

      Dude's got a light pole as a safety shield, has proven it to be effective as his wife drives around and around trying and failing to get to a good attacking position, and his great brainwave is, "Hey, let's ditch this cover and try to outrun a Jeep in a parking lot!"

      Probably the second worst mistake he ever made, right after the "Let's marry a Republican woman!" thing.

  • HRH_Maddie

    I don't blame her. Do you even know how many Ohioans I murdered after the 2004 election?

    • snowpointsecret

      Is your last name Diebold, by any chance?

    • fatbob54

      All of em katie?

    • glasspusher

      They needed killin' (with votes)

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Given the results of the last two presidential elections, the answer is apparently "just enough."

      • HRH_Maddie

        You're welcome, America.

    • Joey_Blau

      uhh six?

  • Barbara_

    Chased him with her Jeep? That's priceless. Her husband and Elizabeth Warren could have both been part Cherokee.

    • Tundra Grifter

      "Her husband was part Cherokee? Which part?"

      "The front bumper."

    • Steverino247

      Hahahahahahaha! That's so good!

    • Callyson

      Made in the USA.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      I saw what you did there.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I do wonder if he had Health Insurance?

    • savethispatient

      I'm sorry, but that impaled Jeep is a pre-existing condition.

      • Esteev

        But being crazy enough to run someone over with said Jeep is covered.

    • memzilla

      This will be covered under Obumpercare.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        She can stay on her parents' plan up to 26mpg.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      According to the local Fox affiliate, the argument began over Obamacare and escalated.

      But its FOX. I can't imagine they'd spin an already politicized story with their agenda, no siree!

    • Joey_Blau

      oh course not.. that's what she was afraid of.. that she would have to take gubermint subsidies for health insurance! and she dina want them!

  • Dashboard Buddha

    I know marriage can be tough, but you'd think he'd a saw the crazy long before now.

    • Callyson

      Maybe he's one of those "crazy in the head, crazy in the bed" fans.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        If that picture is any indication, we'd have to be at the tighter, wetter, crazier level of the head/bed justification.

        • FeloniousMonk

          That is the mugshot, right? No one's at their best in a mugshot. They just refuse to let you show your best side. Er, ask Nick Nolte.

      • redarmyzombie

        And let this be a lesson; no matter how crazy good it is, the sex JUST ISN'T WORTH IT!

    • bibliotequetress

      As the saying goes, sometimes you don't see it until it's on top of you.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      In his defense, more than one crazy woman has gotten a good job … in government.

    • Negropolis

      The question is what happens after you find about the crazy? Some people are too far in by then.

  • YouBetcha

    I'm going to email a link to this story to my husband next time he complains the dishes aren't done.

    • Esteev

      *Shakes Keys*

      Do. We. Have. A. Problem?

      • emmelemm

        Reminds me of War of the Roses. Except in that case, didn't Kathleen Turner only run over Michael Douglas' car?

      • Negropolis

        LOL!

  • SmutBoffin

    They were only able to trace the crime back to her because there were some limited edition signed Mitt Romney Trucknutz left behind at the scene….

  • MacRaith

    It's clearly Obama's fault that she tried to kill her husband. So when is the President going to be charged as an accomplice?

    • SmutBoffin

      IMPeAHC!!!!!!!!!

    • TheMightyHaltor

      There was an AC-130 based at Nellis. Why didn't Obama call in an airstrike?

  • Schmannnity

    Erin Burnett doesn't look so good without makeup.

  • CrunchyKnee

    I am eagerly awaiting the S Korean news cartoon re-enactment of this story.

    • MegPasadena

      Sorry, it is Taiwanese news Cartoon.
      – a person from Taiwan

  • Callyson

    there are no indications she was impaired by alcohol or drugs at the time

    Yeah, I think she was actually in need of some alcohol and drugs at the time…

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Good Lord, that's funny. I might be as evil as the Wingnuts think I am!

  • BadKitty904

    Speaking as a curious homo – is this an example of the "traditional marriage" that the wingnuts are working so hard (and so illegally) to protect?

    • HRH_Maddie

      As an ally in the fight for gay rights, I have always felt that you guys deserve the right to be as miserable as we are.

      • BadKitty904

        Gee, thanks.

      • finallyhappy

        That was the joke I always used until I was actually working for Question 6 here in Maryland. Then I just said Marriage is a civil right(and left off 'So is divorce!")

        • HRH_Maddie

          I never understood why straights were trying to bogart marriage. It's a real mixed bag and something that anyone who is interested should be able to attempt. (along with divorce)

    • copiki

      So you are the cause of this!

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Yes, if you define "traditional marriage" as seen on an episode of COPS.

    • LesBontemps

      How long have Punch and Judy been around? It doesn't get much more traditional than that.

    • LibertyLover

      Hey, I am a homo, too, of the sapien variety. ;-)

      • Naked_Bunny

        Nobody's perfect.

    • CthuNHu

      Uh, no; in a traditional marriage, the husband would be in the driver's seat.

    • pigdog2

      Hey, don't you be trying to redefine vehicular assault.

    • AddHomonym

      Tradition dictates that it be a Chevy.

  • Crank_Tango

    This wouldn't have happened if her husband also had a Jeep.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Or a Glock.

      • Esteev

        Dueling vote-shooting-pistols!

    • Naked_Bunny

      I wonder if "stand your ground" laws cover running over someone with a Jeep.

    • rmjagg

      or a cement truck

    • Gleem McShineys

      Jeeps don't kill people! (they just pin them to the curb)

    • Negropolis

      WIN

  • http://www.themindisaterriblething.com skmind

    Well, that certainly is one self-fulfilled prophecy

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Thanks God she didn't drive a Ford Probe. The outcome could have been entirely different.

    • LibertyLover

      Unicorn libel!

    • Esteev

      Alien Abduction libel!

    • Negropolis

      If only she'd driven an AMC Gremlin. Then BOTH of them would have been in for a world full of trouble.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Was it one of those Chinese-built Jeeps?

  • CrunchyKnee

    Umm, that person in the above picture is 28? I guess life is rather hard in Mesa, Az.

    I would not hit that.

    • el_donaldo

      You'd want to hit it before it hit you.

    • el_donaldo

      And thumbs up on your new gravatar!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      It looks like someone beat you to the punch, anyway.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb
      No joie de vivre, just endless hours of tedium
      With a negative IQ you’ll be lonesome sad and blue
      Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb

      Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb
      You wait for years, but inspiration never comes
      Thoughts you don’t have remain unheard because you cannot find the words
      Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb

      Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb
      Between your ears a dark and silent vacuum
      If there’s a void behind your face
      why not rent out the vacant space
      Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb

      Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb
      Why not just lay back and smoke a bowl of opium
      If being stupid is your fate just relax ’cause it’s too late
      Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Defeatably_Joe

      I think it's mostly that life is hard in Metha, Arizona.

    • PubOption

      And she was not hung over when it was taken.

    • rmjagg

      you would have numerous lacerations if you tried

    • Negropolis

      Yeah, but it's a dry, sunburnt crazy.

  • corthylio

    I think that photo belongs in the dictionary next to the definition of 'butthurt'….

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Worst Jeep Commercial EVER.

    • Naked_Bunny

      Or, perhaps, best.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Call Dennis Haysbert. "Mayhem" is now a woman.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Maybe they should make her the National Chairperson of the Get Out the Vote committee.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Did she at least unfriend him on Facebook first?

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    Just like Nate Silver, hiding behind a pole.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      There was no margin of error.

    • Negropolis

      How many entendres is that?

  • savethispatient

    Yet another citizen who's going to make the rest of us to pay for her food and accommodation in Obama's America. IMPEACH!

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      20 to life in Galt's Gulch.

  • Tundra Grifter

    It was a Jeep.

    Just before the election, Romney said Government Motors wasn't going to make those in Ohio any more. All those jobs were being shifted to China. It was on the teevee and everything.

    So…Connect The Dots, people! CTD!

  • Steverino247

    Hell, they haven't even got through a third of the votes in AZ, thanks to their stupid voter ID procedures. DERP FAIL!

    • corthylio

      It's pretty much his own fault- all he had to do was disappear for a few hours, go for a walk in the park, then go home & bitch about the lines at the precinct…

  • Goonemeritus

    Clearly one of nations richest 1% concerned about Obama’s agenda to change the deferred interest loophole.

  • poorgradstudent

    Fucking electoral college votes, how do they work?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Dude should have just lied and told her that he had voted.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Oh, but lying like that would probably have irreparably harmed their married bliss.

    • Naked_Bunny

      "I'm heading out to vote" sounds like a great cover for hitting the bar.

      • Negropolis

        Or something else, for that matter.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      Where's the trust in a relationship like that?

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Were the kids in the car too?

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      She was on her way to pick 'em up from Bible school.

    • Antispandex

      Better leave her behind with the kids, they're alright.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Did the kids remember to vote?

      • Naked_Bunny

        A responsible father would have voted for them.

  • OzoneTom

    Carbohydrates go in, the crazy goes out. No one can explain it.

    • Esteev

      I don't care what anyone says, this comment is a winner.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Is this how Western black widows have sex? The female runs over her mate with a jeep when they get done fucking?

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      Sometimes they make it look like an accident — like when they leave the husband alone for the weekend with a shotgun, a chainsaw and a fridge full of beer.

  • Antispandex

    Well! It's good to see that SOMEONE took this election seriously!

  • docterry6973

    She clearly looks like she is sorry, so as a liberal I think she should go free. She probably had a sad childhood.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      I blame society.

    • LouBristol

      Completely agree. Also, if he decided to make a run for it despite finding a pole to hide behind, he was definitely asking for it.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Given her complete lack of understanding of the electoral system in this country, plus the whole "People of Walmart" vibe she gives off, what are the odds that she was homeschooled?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      In either Gilbert or Mesa, Arizona, the odds are better than average.

  • sati_demise

    Az comments note she is supposedly 6 months pregnant.

    Hormones?

    btw, still counting votes in Az, but it looks good for the first openly bi-sexual woman; and she is hot! Az does something right this election! whoo hooo

    • LibertyLover

      *ahem* My new Representative, Kyrsten Sinema, has an over 6000 vote lead… I voted for her, too. Perhaps I should watch out for any marauding jeeps just in case?

    • GoodDogThor

      Obligatory… Pics or GTFO

    • Negropolis

      Yes, yes, 'twas hormones what killed the beast.

  • coolhandnuke

    I find this very autoerotic.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      …and don't think I didn't see what you did there either.

    • copiki

      *cues a drum sting*

    • Gleem McShineys

      You should curb these urges immediately.

  • Esteev

    Bachelorhood just keeps looking better and better.

  • barto

    And here I was ready to blame Obama's win on Merv down in shipping. Ah, probably should run over the sumbitch anyways just for good measure.

    • rmjagg

      better late than never

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Nice hair! Having a portable thatched-roof Irish hut will help her stay one step ahead of Nobama! http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/zahler/zahler07

    • bibliotequetress

      It might help her survive living in a tent in the desert.

      That is, if this is a crime in AZ.

  • corthylio

    She's convinced that if you don't vote Republican, you must be a black rapist and must die.

  • kyeshinka

    Anyone else picturing these goofballs running around the parking lot with the Benny Hill theme in the background?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      All of us, kyeshinka.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      :::dash raises his hand:::

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      He lost the "Hubby Season/Jeep Season" fight.

    • Naked_Bunny

      I certainly am now.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee
  • FiscalClifford

    We can laugh all we want. I'll bet they have incredible sex, though. Even despite the fact she looks like an angry teenage boy from 1994.

  • mavenmaven

    Gives new meaning to "I'd hit that"

    • rmjagg

      one that involves a chair and her face

  • rocktonsam

    sheriff Joe could use her to protect Merika, she loves her country so much

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      If she gets put in one of his jails, I guarantee a new meaning to "extra privileges."

  • Yellerdawg

    She was just testing the system to see if it worked. In this case, the airbag and front crumple zone systems.

  • LibertyLover

    And so explains the reason that people like Sheriff Joe get re-elected.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Defeatably_Joe

    This never would have happened if we had just let Detroit go bankrupt.

  • coolhandnuke

    Beware of Jeeps bearing a "Crybaby on Board" sticker.

  • corthylio

    She kinda reminds me of one of those Brat Pack actresses, but I can't think of the name…

    • Aridzona

      Molly Ringworm

    • Geminisunmars

      Ally Shitty?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Y'know, you're right. The one that Martha Raddatz looks like…whatsername again….Mare Winningham?

      • corthylio

        Maybe a composite of Ally Sheedy, Mare Winningham & Mary Stuart Masterson…

    • sullivanst

      Charlie Sheen?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Juggs Nelson?

    • rmjagg

      ally sheedy

  • neiltheblaze

    Oh, c'mon you kids – kiss and make up!!

  • HarryButtle

    The lesson to be learned here is this: When you've got good cover, stay put!

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I fail to understand why she didn't contract someone for this job. Or, at the very least wait until it was dark and then run him over when he was checking the mail.

    She was just asking to be caught. Geez, come on lady, if you are going to do a job…do it right.

    • rmjagg

      she wanted the super patriot gold medal , so had to be done in front of an audience

  • cousinitt

    I would LOVE to see Shelly from Nebraska meet up with Holly from Arizona. The Thelma and Louise reality teevee show possibilities may already be in the works.

  • http://lookatthisfuckingcentrist.wordpress.com Both Sides Do It

    I'm actually kind of surprised in the wake of all the gloom 'n doom stories about the Republicans shooting themselves in the foot by intentionally alienating so many groups of voters that some NRO back-bencher hasn't written something like:

    "They say the Republicans are committing electoral suicide. They may be right, but they never give the right remedy: electoral homicide. GOP members must start dismantling communities that will never be amenable to Republican strategies, piece-by-piece, one at a time."

    • Wile E. Quixote

      You mean like this piece by NRO back bencher David Gelerntner?

      • http://lookatthisfuckingcentrist.wordpress.com Both Sides Do It

        you know things are bad when "parody is dead" is an overused cliche

        now that NRO has made the "intellectual case" for that idea, maybe Glenn Reynolds or Powerline or something will start using phrases like "electoral homicide" or start expressing voter outreach targets in terms of megadeaths

  • MissTaken

    Please tell me it was a Walmart parking lot. Please!

    • corthylio

      Okay. It was a Walmart parking lot.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      It really had to be. He could have outrun her to the trees if it had been the Dollar General.

    • BadKitty904

      My guess woulda been a Sizzler or Golden Corral.

      • MissTaken

        or Chik-Fil-A

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          On the day after election day, the Chik-Fil-A at the Tucson Mall had its flag at half mast. No shit. And Obama carried that neighborhood. So you can imagine how they're acting in the dark red suburbs of Phoenix.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Don't they have flea markets down there? Or gun shows in abandoned K-Marts?

      • GeorgiaBurning

        This is Phoenix, there's a gun show about every weekend at one stadium or another. When this guy gets out of the hospital he should go to one.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212
      • BaldarTFlagass

        Oh, it was in Gilbert. Enough said.

        • bibliotequetress

          Is Gilbert the Mississippi of Phoenix? I ask because my sister-in-law, who I adore & who is usually not inclined to snottery, has made remarks about Gilbert. She grew up in Mesa and was the first to point out to me that retirees used to outnumber school kids so substantially in Greater Phoenix that it just getting enough public support to keep school buses running was a problem until the 1990s.

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            The crime took place in Gilbert, but the couple lives in the city of Mesa, a Phoenix suburb founded by the Mormon Daniel Webster Jones. It proudly trumpets that it is in the top 25 of safest cities in America. I guess that's why she had to go to the next town over to try and kill her husband.

          • bibliotequetress

            Ah. NIMBY.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    This is why I broke up with my Republican gf. That faulty Galt switch could not be trusted.

  • Botlrokit

    Anyone confused by the saturation of females, and their displays of Obama hate? Isn't this technically the territory of armed white undereducated pimply dudes?

    • corthylio

      Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

  • azeyote

    not a very good driver – should a nailed that non-votin bastard

  • BadKitty904

    When they visit her in the Montana camps, Dad can also take the kids to see some of the Big Sky Country's wonders! They can visit Glacier National Park, where the glaciers used to be before they melted due to global climate change, or the Little Bighorn Battlefield National Monument, which presaged the Romney/Ryan 2012 campaign!

  • hagajim

    Good lord! And I thought I was pissed after W. won in 2004.

  • calliecallie

    Talk about political commitment! And by commitment I mean to the nearest mental health facility.

  • LibertyLover

    She doesn't look like a pot-smoking, hippie Phoenix News Times reader, she looks more like one of those Fox News Watchers.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I live in Arizona and I must note how shocked I am that this story was not widely covered by our Liberal Mainstream Media.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Defeatably_Joe

    I'm actually most surprised that they allowed James O'Keefe to even travel to Arizona given the nature of his probation, let alone gay-marry a man and then run him over in a Jeep.

    • rmjagg

      so he changed his mind and tried to get rid of the evidence ( his husband )

  • StillGoinGreen

    This makes Hopey's "ground game" blah, blah, "Get out tha Vote" thingy look like a kindergarten game. Methinks this is the beginning of something big for the Conservatives!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Why do they always feel compelled to "make a run for it." Dude, I have seen thousands of movies, and that shit never ends well. I wonder if he ran right down the middle of the street.

    • MissTaken

      What else was he gonna do? He was stuck running around a light pole while she drove in circles yelling at him. Waiting until she ran out of gas would take a while.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Sure it would have taken a while, but waiting in a hospital bed for your bones to knit takes a lot longer.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Nah, jeeps get really lousy mileage….

    • rmjagg

      maybe in a zig-zag pattern , hoping for the best

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Serpentine!

  • LibrarianX

    Folks are angry in Arizona. I try not to go there.

    • BadKitty904

      It's not the heat, it's the stupidity…

      • LibrarianX

        Would love to see the Stupidity Index reported with the weather.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    This is not shaping up to be a good year for women named Holly

  • bflrtsplk

    Uh, Mr. Solomon, the next time you`re going to tell your wife you didn`t vote and her guy loses, make sure the car keys are in YOUR pocket, not in the ignition. Man, that is one mean looking woman.

  • MissTaken

    Meth is a helluva drug.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      But religion is worse.

  • Geminisunmars

    So…how's that marriage counseling going?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    And Jeep sales!!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    She's got a little bit of that Lynndie England thing going on. Did she get out and do a double-point at the tread-marks on his chest afterward?

  • GeorgiaBurning

    The Arizona Republic would report this as "Independent Voters Target of New GOP Drive"

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    I think I finally understand what "Muskrat Love" is all about.

    • TribecaMike

      Far better to go with Muscat Love imho.

  • Guppy

    Red states have to outlaw contraception if they are to have any hope of avoiding mass extinction due to Darwin.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Why didn't she just shoot him?

    • BadKitty904

      I can't imagine that woman doesn't have several guns.

    • mavenmaven

      She would have had to first explain in detail what her unstoppable to plan to conquer the world was, then let out the villain bwahahah first, giving him enough time to escape and bring down her secret operation.

    • Negropolis

      Sometimes you go to war with the weapon you have…

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Let me guess. She was drunk on Coors light and butterscotch schnapps.

    • corthylio

      Blech- I just threw up a little in my mouth…

  • Hammiepants

    You know, all kidding aside, having an opposing political viewpoint from me is a total dealbreaker. We are NEVER going to have the sexytimes, let alone a "relationship", if you love Rush and vote Wingnut. I don't understand the Matalins/Carvilles of the world, unless every hookup/convo is an ongoing hatefuck.

    • DCBloom

      I so agree. If my husband voted R, I'd probably run him over too.

    • decentcitizen

      I dunno. My wife was a fundie republican when we started dating. Now she's a fundie liberal.

    • emmelemm

      That's why one should only date fellow Wonketteers.

  • Pat_Pending

    Why can't these people just jump off a cliff, lemming-like…

  • OneDollarJuana

    Wait. I thought all the Jeeps were sent to China.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Well, I'm a standing in a parking lot
    in Mesa, Arizona
    and such a fine sight to see
    It's my wife, my Lord, in a big ass
    Jeep drivin' down to take a run at me
    Come on, baby, don't shriek Romney!
    I gotta know if your bad driving is
    gonna save me
    We may lose and Obama may win though
    we will never shop here again
    so hit the brakes, I'm runnin' fast,
    Please take it easy

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    This would make a great "Get out the vote" PSA commercial.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    I'm sure that the next amendment to Arizona's "stand your ground" law will be to allow you to shoot your spouse if they don't vote Republican.

  • Mahousu

    I'm not seeing a whole lot of "wisdom of Solomon" here.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Geez – I could understand this when Mesa hits 115 in the shade, but this is the cool season…I don't think she should go back to that church and that pastor….

  • rickmaci

    The batshitcrazy is strong in that one.

  • TribecaMike

    The sad part is she's just my type.

  • mickeymusing

    Mesa is Salt Lake City Lite. Her husband's 'crime' probably had to do with not being Mormon enough for her.

  • sati_demise

    By popular request, Arizonas hot new openly bi-sexual CongressHottie (in that saucy,but healthy, librarian glasses kind of way- holy shit!)

    http://kyrstensinema.com/meet-kyrsten/

    • GoodDogThor

      I think I'm in love (with her policy positions).

    • Troglodeity

      I'd hit that either way. Wowzers.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    "… and there are no indications she was impaired by alcohol or drugs at the time", just suffering from Obama derangement syndrome …

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Bamsanity! I propose a new tag.

  • Gleem McShineys

    That guy forgot The first rule of Zombieland:

    Cardio.

  • bibliotequetress

    Somehow with my joy at Kyrsten Synema's election I briefly forgot the impact of broiling sun and fifty years of underfunded public education on Arizona.

    OT Kyrsten Synema is my not so secret girl crush.

  • AlterNewt

    "But the Jeep was okay. In other news…"

  • bibliotequetress

    Caused by GAY MARRIAGE!

  • Troglodeity

    This wouldn't have happened if our lazy-ass public school teachers did a better job of teaching Civics.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      To my surprise, the largest employer in the city of Mesa is the public school system. They employ five times more people than Walmart … and that's saying something. But in addition to falling down on the teaching of civics, they also might want to consider beefing up their Driver Education program.

    • DahBoner

      Or Accords.

  • ttommyunger

    http://patdollard.com/2012/11/priest-bites-of-oth… OT, but I just had to share this.

  • mosjef

    In Manhattan, that's called "rush hour".

  • glamourdammerung

    NOBAMARS THUGS R ARRESTING PATRIOTS!!11!!!!

  • HateMachine

    assume husband dead

  • a_pink_poodle

    Where there instances where Democrats attacked people for voting for Bush's second term or failing not to? Surely there were, right?

  • comrad_darkness

    And we all have to try to live with these people.

  • dennis1943

    Only 3,ooo,ooo some odd more to go……..a life with purpose……

  • Negropolis

    This is good news for Detroit!

  • decentcitizen

    She tried holding out on him first but he was okay with that…

  • BS4Dummies

    If she wasn't wearing her flagpin during the event, than she wasn't being authentic in going "all right wing extreme" on her husband. Just saying…she could be a RINO.

  • smellypossum

    Y'all just KNOW this happy couple will be back in WallyMart beating their children in time for Christmas. And she'll have the added pleasure of dumping him out of his wheelchair (and running him over with it) on aisle 16 because he overfilled his colostomy bag.

  • DahBoner

    She's 28?

    Doesn't look a day over 58.

  • bloggingbalkanistan

    Should have never taken School House Rock off the air…

  • Joey_Blau

    I find it unlikely she is in the top income bracket and might see a slight increase in her marginal tax rate…