So how’s things in Arizona these days, Phoenix New Times? Anybody from an obviously super best marriage snap once it became clear the South would have to secede all over again? Oh a lady ran her husband over with her Jeep, because it was his fault Obama won because he didn’t vote? Gee, that sounds right.
Mesa resident Holly Solomon thinks it’s her husband’s fault that President Obama was re-elected last week, because he didn’t vote.
Not only does Solomon, 28, have a thorough misunderstanding of our nation’s electoral system, she also ran over her husband with her car because of this, according to Gilbert police.
In an e-mail to media, Gilbert police Sergeant Jesse Sanger says the argument started in a parking lot Saturday morning over Daniel Solomon’s lack of voter participation.
“According to Daniel, Holly believed her family was going to face hardship as a result of President Obama’s re-election,” Sanger says.
Witnesses told police that there was a lot of yelling before Holly Solomon hopped in her Jeep, and started chasing her husband around the parking lot.
Her husband tried to use a light pole to shield himself, and Solomon drove around the light pole several times as she continued to yell at him.
Eventually, her husband made a run for it, but Solomon hit him, pinning him under the car and on a curb, according to police.
Sorry you are in critical condition, Holly Solomon’s husband Daniel. Please send your wife over to Wonkette, to learn the finer points of maiming people with votes, just as soon as she is out of jail for your attempted murder.
[NewTimes]
{ 268 comments }
Pro tip: if you get pinned by a Jeep against a curb, try to free your arms to protect your skull from penetrative attacks.
Good for now, but this tactic will soon be outdated. All the Jeeps will soon be produced by the Chinese, and they're instituting new bumpers explicitly designed to keep your arms pinned and unable to fend off penetrative attacks.
Brilliant strategy from the Chinese, really, destroy your enemy from within: get our elites to gut our economy and then start making cars that aide homicide. Frankly I wouldn't be surprised if his name was actually Mitt Rom Nee.
Will they prevent Chinese Fire Drills, tho?
As tragic as this story is, it needs more Yakkity Sax
If Benny Hill would have done it, the Jeep would have been full of women in lingerie, and after they hit the guy, they would do a double-time Chinese fire drill before getting back into the Jeep and backing it into a pond.
All while being chased by two cops on foot.
Where's the little old bald man, whose head receives constant slapping?
Queen Solomon aint too wise.
Quick! Run into her house and make sure she hasn't divided her baby.
I hope she ends up with life in prison. But not with votes.
This is why we have the Electoral College: So no one is to blame.
Jeepers, creepers…where does Arizona get those freepers.
Thank you! I have come back to this comment at least 3x and I laugh louder each time!
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the first finalist for the Darwin award…
Dunno about that. This woman knew exactly what she was doing.
True, but with any luck she's just given up any chance she had to reproduce, either with her husband or anyone else. By the time she gets out of prison if she's still young enough, hopefully the next unlucky guy who comes along will think to ask, "So what happened to your last marriage?"
Oh please! Like no inmate at a women's prison has ever fucked for cigarettes, or had a baby….
That would go to Holly's husband for marrying her in the first place.
Not her, him.
Dude's got a light pole as a safety shield, has proven it to be effective as his wife drives around and around trying and failing to get to a good attacking position, and his great brainwave is, "Hey, let's ditch this cover and try to outrun a Jeep in a parking lot!"
Probably the second worst mistake he ever made, right after the "Let's marry a Republican woman!" thing.
I don't blame her. Do you even know how many Ohioans I murdered after the 2004 election?
Is your last name Diebold, by any chance?
All of em katie?
They needed killin' (with votes)
Given the results of the last two presidential elections, the answer is apparently "just enough."
You're welcome, America.
uhh six?
Chased him with her Jeep? That's priceless. Her husband and Elizabeth Warren could have both been part Cherokee.
"Her husband was part Cherokee? Which part?"
"The front bumper."
Hahahahahahaha! That's so good!
Made in the USA.
I saw what you did there.
I do wonder if he had Health Insurance?
I'm sorry, but that impaled Jeep is a pre-existing condition.
But being crazy enough to run someone over with said Jeep is covered.
This will be covered under Obumpercare.
She can stay on her parents' plan up to 26mpg.
According to the local Fox affiliate, the argument began over Obamacare and escalated.
But its FOX. I can't imagine they'd spin an already politicized story with their agenda, no siree!
oh course not.. that's what she was afraid of.. that she would have to take gubermint subsidies for health insurance! and she dina want them!
I know marriage can be tough, but you'd think he'd a saw the crazy long before now.
Maybe he's one of those "crazy in the head, crazy in the bed" fans.
If that picture is any indication, we'd have to be at the tighter, wetter, crazier level of the head/bed justification.
That is the mugshot, right? No one's at their best in a mugshot. They just refuse to let you show your best side. Er, ask Nick Nolte.
And let this be a lesson; no matter how crazy good it is, the sex JUST ISN'T WORTH IT!
As the saying goes, sometimes you don't see it until it's on top of you.
In his defense, more than one crazy woman has gotten a good job … in government.
The question is what happens after you find about the crazy? Some people are too far in by then.
I'm going to email a link to this story to my husband next time he complains the dishes aren't done.
*Shakes Keys*
Do. We. Have. A. Problem?
Reminds me of War of the Roses. Except in that case, didn't Kathleen Turner only run over Michael Douglas' car?
LOL!
They were only able to trace the crime back to her because there were some limited edition signed Mitt Romney Trucknutz left behind at the scene….
It's clearly Obama's fault that she tried to kill her husband. So when is the President going to be charged as an accomplice?
IMPeAHC!!!!!!!!!
There was an AC-130 based at Nellis. Why didn't Obama call in an airstrike?
Erin Burnett doesn't look so good without makeup.
I am eagerly awaiting the S Korean news cartoon re-enactment of this story.
Sorry, it is Taiwanese news Cartoon.
- a person from Taiwan
there are no indications she was impaired by alcohol or drugs at the time
Yeah, I think she was actually in need of some alcohol and drugs at the time…
Good Lord, that's funny. I might be as evil as the Wingnuts think I am!
Speaking as a curious homo – is this an example of the "traditional marriage" that the wingnuts are working so hard (and so illegally) to protect?
As an ally in the fight for gay rights, I have always felt that you guys deserve the right to be as miserable as we are.
Gee, thanks.
That was the joke I always used until I was actually working for Question 6 here in Maryland. Then I just said Marriage is a civil right(and left off 'So is divorce!")
I never understood why straights were trying to bogart marriage. It's a real mixed bag and something that anyone who is interested should be able to attempt. (along with divorce)
So you are the cause of this!
Yes, if you define "traditional marriage" as seen on an episode of COPS.
How long have Punch and Judy been around? It doesn't get much more traditional than that.
Hey, I am a homo, too, of the sapien variety. ;-)
Nobody's perfect.
Uh, no; in a traditional marriage, the husband would be in the driver's seat.
Hey, don't you be trying to redefine vehicular assault.
Tradition dictates that it be a Chevy.
This wouldn't have happened if her husband also had a Jeep.
Or a Glock.
Dueling vote-shooting-pistols!
I wonder if "stand your ground" laws cover running over someone with a Jeep.
or a cement truck
Jeeps don't kill people! (they just pin them to the curb)
WIN
Well, that certainly is one self-fulfilled prophecy
Thanks God she didn't drive a Ford Probe. The outcome could have been entirely different.
Unicorn libel!
Alien Abduction libel!
If only she'd driven an AMC Gremlin. Then BOTH of them would have been in for a world full of trouble.
Was it one of those Chinese-built Jeeps?
Umm, that person in the above picture is 28? I guess life is rather hard in Mesa, Az.
I would not hit that.
You'd want to hit it before it hit you.
And thumbs up on your new gravatar!
It looks like someone beat you to the punch, anyway.
Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb
No joie de vivre, just endless hours of tedium
With a negative IQ you’ll be lonesome sad and blue
Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb
Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb
You wait for years, but inspiration never comes
Thoughts you don’t have remain unheard because you cannot find the words
Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb
Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb
Between your ears a dark and silent vacuum
If there’s a void behind your face
why not rent out the vacant space
Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb
Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb
Why not just lay back and smoke a bowl of opium
If being stupid is your fate just relax ’cause it’s too late
Life is hard, but life is hardest when you’re dumb
I think it's mostly that life is hard in Metha, Arizona.
And she was not hung over when it was taken.
you would have numerous lacerations if you tried
Yeah, but it's a dry, sunburnt crazy.
I think that photo belongs in the dictionary next to the definition of 'butthurt'….
Worst Jeep Commercial EVER.
Or, perhaps, best.
Call Dennis Haysbert. "Mayhem" is now a woman.
Maybe they should make her the National Chairperson of the Get Out the Vote committee.
Did she at least unfriend him on Facebook first?
Just like Nate Silver, hiding behind a pole.
There was no margin of error.
How many entendres is that?
Yet another citizen who's going to make the rest of us to pay for her food and accommodation in Obama's America. IMPEACH!
20 to life in Galt's Gulch.
It was a Jeep.
Just before the election, Romney said Government Motors wasn't going to make those in Ohio any more. All those jobs were being shifted to China. It was on the teevee and everything.
So…Connect The Dots, people! CTD!
Hell, they haven't even got through a third of the votes in AZ, thanks to their stupid voter ID procedures. DERP FAIL!
It's pretty much his own fault- all he had to do was disappear for a few hours, go for a walk in the park, then go home & bitch about the lines at the precinct…
Clearly one of nations richest 1% concerned about Obama’s agenda to change the deferred interest loophole.
Fucking electoral college votes, how do they work?
Dude should have just lied and told her that he had voted.
Oh, but lying like that would probably have irreparably harmed their married bliss.
"I'm heading out to vote" sounds like a great cover for hitting the bar.
Or something else, for that matter.
Where's the trust in a relationship like that?
Were the kids in the car too?
She was on her way to pick 'em up from Bible school.
Better leave her behind with the kids, they're alright.
Did the kids remember to vote?
A responsible father would have voted for them.
Carbohydrates go in, the crazy goes out. No one can explain it.
I don't care what anyone says, this comment is a winner.
Is this how Western black widows have sex? The female runs over her mate with a jeep when they get done fucking?
Sometimes they make it look like an accident — like when they leave the husband alone for the weekend with a shotgun, a chainsaw and a fridge full of beer.
Well! It's good to see that SOMEONE took this election seriously!
She clearly looks like she is sorry, so as a liberal I think she should go free. She probably had a sad childhood.
I blame society.
Completely agree. Also, if he decided to make a run for it despite finding a pole to hide behind, he was definitely asking for it.
Given her complete lack of understanding of the electoral system in this country, plus the whole "People of Walmart" vibe she gives off, what are the odds that she was homeschooled?
In either Gilbert or Mesa, Arizona, the odds are better than average.
Az comments note she is supposedly 6 months pregnant.
Hormones?
btw, still counting votes in Az, but it looks good for the first openly bi-sexual woman; and she is hot! Az does something right this election! whoo hooo
*ahem* My new Representative, Kyrsten Sinema, has an over 6000 vote lead… I voted for her, too. Perhaps I should watch out for any marauding jeeps just in case?
Obligatory… Pics or GTFO
This hawt enough for ya: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2012…
Also discusses her lack of religious affiliation, very unusual in a native Arizonan.
Yes, yes, 'twas hormones what killed the beast.
I find this very autoerotic.
…and don't think I didn't see what you did there either.
*cues a drum sting*
You should curb these urges immediately.
Bachelorhood just keeps looking better and better.
And here I was ready to blame Obama's win on Merv down in shipping. Ah, probably should run over the sumbitch anyways just for good measure.
better late than never
Nice hair! Having a portable thatched-roof Irish hut will help her stay one step ahead of Nobama! http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/zahler/zahler07…
It might help her survive living in a tent in the desert.
That is, if this is a crime in AZ.
She's convinced that if you don't vote Republican, you must be a black rapist and must die.
Anyone else picturing these goofballs running around the parking lot with the Benny Hill theme in the background?
All of us, kyeshinka.
:::dash raises his hand:::
He lost the "Hubby Season/Jeep Season" fight.
I certainly am now.
Fort Holabird weeps.
We can laugh all we want. I'll bet they have incredible sex, though. Even despite the fact she looks like an angry teenage boy from 1994.
Gives new meaning to "I'd hit that"
one that involves a chair and her face
sheriff Joe could use her to protect Merika, she loves her country so much
If she gets put in one of his jails, I guarantee a new meaning to "extra privileges."
She was just testing the system to see if it worked. In this case, the airbag and front crumple zone systems.
And so explains the reason that people like Sheriff Joe get re-elected.
This never would have happened if we had just let Detroit go bankrupt.
Beware of Jeeps bearing a "Crybaby on Board" sticker.
She kinda reminds me of one of those Brat Pack actresses, but I can't think of the name…
Molly Ringworm
Ally Shitty?
Y'know, you're right. The one that Martha Raddatz looks like…whatsername again….Mare Winningham?
Maybe a composite of Ally Sheedy, Mare Winningham & Mary Stuart Masterson…
Charlie Sheen?
Juggs Nelson?
ally sheedy
Oh, c'mon you kids – kiss and make up!!
The lesson to be learned here is this: When you've got good cover, stay put!
I fail to understand why she didn't contract someone for this job. Or, at the very least wait until it was dark and then run him over when he was checking the mail.
She was just asking to be caught. Geez, come on lady, if you are going to do a job…do it right.
she wanted the super patriot gold medal , so had to be done in front of an audience
I would LOVE to see Shelly from Nebraska meet up with Holly from Arizona. The Thelma and Louise reality teevee show possibilities may already be in the works.
I'm actually kind of surprised in the wake of all the gloom 'n doom stories about the Republicans shooting themselves in the foot by intentionally alienating so many groups of voters that some NRO back-bencher hasn't written something like:
"They say the Republicans are committing electoral suicide. They may be right, but they never give the right remedy: electoral homicide. GOP members must start dismantling communities that will never be amenable to Republican strategies, piece-by-piece, one at a time."
You mean like this piece by NRO back bencher David Gelerntner?
you know things are bad when "parody is dead" is an overused cliche
now that NRO has made the "intellectual case" for that idea, maybe Glenn Reynolds or Powerline or something will start using phrases like "electoral homicide" or start expressing voter outreach targets in terms of megadeaths
Please tell me it was a Walmart parking lot. Please!
Okay. It was a Walmart parking lot.
It really had to be. He could have outrun her to the trees if it had been the Dollar General.
My guess woulda been a Sizzler or Golden Corral.
or Chik-Fil-A
On the day after election day, the Chik-Fil-A at the Tucson Mall had its flag at half mast. No shit. And Obama carried that neighborhood. So you can imagine how they're acting in the dark red suburbs of Phoenix.
Don't they have flea markets down there? Or gun shows in abandoned K-Marts?
This is Phoenix, there's a gun show about every weekend at one stadium or another. When this guy gets out of the hospital he should go to one.
It does not appear to be
Oh, it was in Gilbert. Enough said.
Is Gilbert the Mississippi of Phoenix? I ask because my sister-in-law, who I adore & who is usually not inclined to snottery, has made remarks about Gilbert. She grew up in Mesa and was the first to point out to me that retirees used to outnumber school kids so substantially in Greater Phoenix that it just getting enough public support to keep school buses running was a problem until the 1990s.
The crime took place in Gilbert, but the couple lives in the city of Mesa, a Phoenix suburb founded by the Mormon Daniel Webster Jones. It proudly trumpets that it is in the top 25 of safest cities in America. I guess that's why she had to go to the next town over to try and kill her husband.
This is why I broke up with my Republican gf. That faulty Galt switch could not be trusted.
Anyone confused by the saturation of females, and their displays of Obama hate? Isn't this technically the territory of armed white undereducated pimply dudes?
Denial is not just a river in Egypt.
not a very good driver – should a nailed that non-votin bastard
When they visit her in the Montana camps, Dad can also take the kids to see some of the Big Sky Country's wonders! They can visit Glacier National Park, where the glaciers used to be before they melted due to global climate change, or the Little Bighorn Battlefield National Monument, which presaged the Romney/Ryan 2012 campaign!
Good lord! And I thought I was pissed after W. won in 2004.
Talk about political commitment! And by commitment I mean to the nearest mental health facility.
She doesn't look like a pot-smoking, hippie Phoenix News Times reader, she looks more like one of those Fox News Watchers.
I live in Arizona and I must note how shocked I am that this story was not widely covered by our Liberal Mainstream Media.
I'm actually most surprised that they allowed James O'Keefe to even travel to Arizona given the nature of his probation, let alone gay-marry a man and then run him over in a Jeep.
so he changed his mind and tried to get rid of the evidence ( his husband )
This makes Hopey's "ground game" blah, blah, "Get out tha Vote" thingy look like a kindergarten game. Methinks this is the beginning of something big for the Conservatives!
Why do they always feel compelled to "make a run for it." Dude, I have seen thousands of movies, and that shit never ends well. I wonder if he ran right down the middle of the street.
What else was he gonna do? He was stuck running around a light pole while she drove in circles yelling at him. Waiting until she ran out of gas would take a while.
Sure it would have taken a while, but waiting in a hospital bed for your bones to knit takes a lot longer.
Nah, jeeps get really lousy mileage….
maybe in a zig-zag pattern , hoping for the best
Serpentine!
Folks are angry in Arizona. I try not to go there.
It's not the heat, it's the stupidity…
Would love to see the Stupidity Index reported with the weather.
This is not shaping up to be a good year for women named Holly
Uh, Mr. Solomon, the next time you`re going to tell your wife you didn`t vote and her guy loses, make sure the car keys are in YOUR pocket, not in the ignition. Man, that is one mean looking woman.
Meth is a helluva drug.
But religion is worse.
So…how's that marriage counseling going?
And Jeep sales!!
She's got a little bit of that Lynndie England thing going on. Did she get out and do a double-point at the tread-marks on his chest afterward?
The Arizona Republic would report this as "Independent Voters Target of New GOP Drive"
I think I finally understand what "Muskrat Love" is all about.
Far better to go with Muscat Love imho.
Red states have to outlaw contraception if they are to have any hope of avoiding mass extinction due to Darwin.
Why didn't she just shoot him?
I can't imagine that woman doesn't have several guns.
She would have had to first explain in detail what her unstoppable to plan to conquer the world was, then let out the villain bwahahah first, giving him enough time to escape and bring down her secret operation.
Sometimes you go to war with the weapon you have…
Let me guess. She was drunk on Coors light and butterscotch schnapps.
Blech- I just threw up a little in my mouth…
You know, all kidding aside, having an opposing political viewpoint from me is a total dealbreaker. We are NEVER going to have the sexytimes, let alone a "relationship", if you love Rush and vote Wingnut. I don't understand the Matalins/Carvilles of the world, unless every hookup/convo is an ongoing hatefuck.
I so agree. If my husband voted R, I'd probably run him over too.
I dunno. My wife was a fundie republican when we started dating. Now she's a fundie liberal.
That's why one should only date fellow Wonketteers.
Why can't these people just jump off a cliff, lemming-like…
Wait. I thought all the Jeeps were sent to China.
Well, I'm a standing in a parking lot
in Mesa, Arizona
and such a fine sight to see
It's my wife, my Lord, in a big ass
Jeep drivin' down to take a run at me
Come on, baby, don't shriek Romney!
I gotta know if your bad driving is
gonna save me
We may lose and Obama may win though
we will never shop here again
so hit the brakes, I'm runnin' fast,
Please take it easy
This would make a great "Get out the vote" PSA commercial.
I'm sure that the next amendment to Arizona's "stand your ground" law will be to allow you to shoot your spouse if they don't vote Republican.
I'm not seeing a whole lot of "wisdom of Solomon" here.
Geez – I could understand this when Mesa hits 115 in the shade, but this is the cool season…I don't think she should go back to that church and that pastor….
The batshitcrazy is strong in that one.
The sad part is she's just my type.
Mesa is Salt Lake City Lite. Her husband's 'crime' probably had to do with not being Mormon enough for her.
By popular request, Arizonas hot new openly bi-sexual CongressHottie (in that saucy,but healthy, librarian glasses kind of way- holy shit!)
http://kyrstensinema.com/meet-kyrsten/
I think I'm in love (with her policy positions).
I'd hit that either way. Wowzers.
"… and there are no indications she was impaired by alcohol or drugs at the time", just suffering from Obama derangement syndrome …
Bamsanity! I propose a new tag.
That guy forgot The first rule of Zombieland:
Cardio.
Somehow with my joy at Kyrsten Synema's election I briefly forgot the impact of broiling sun and fifty years of underfunded public education on Arizona.
OT Kyrsten Synema is my not so secret girl crush.
"But the Jeep was okay. In other news…"
Caused by GAY MARRIAGE!
This wouldn't have happened if our lazy-ass public school teachers did a better job of teaching Civics.
To my surprise, the largest employer in the city of Mesa is the public school system. They employ five times more people than Walmart … and that's saying something. But in addition to falling down on the teaching of civics, they also might want to consider beefing up their Driver Education program.
Or Accords.
http://patdollard.com/2012/11/priest-bites-of-oth… OT, but I just had to share this.
In Manhattan, that's called "rush hour".
NOBAMARS THUGS R ARRESTING PATRIOTS!!11!!!!
assume husband dead
Where there instances where Democrats attacked people for voting for Bush's second term or failing not to? Surely there were, right?
And we all have to try to live with these people.
Only 3,ooo,ooo some odd more to go……..a life with purpose……
This is good news for Detroit!
She tried holding out on him first but he was okay with that…
If she wasn't wearing her flagpin during the event, than she wasn't being authentic in going "all right wing extreme" on her husband. Just saying…she could be a RINO.
Y'all just KNOW this happy couple will be back in WallyMart beating their children in time for Christmas. And she'll have the added pleasure of dumping him out of his wheelchair (and running him over with it) on aisle 16 because he overfilled his colostomy bag.
She's 28?
Doesn't look a day over 58.
Should have never taken School House Rock off the air…
I find it unlikely she is in the top income bracket and might see a slight increase in her marginal tax rate…
Ah. NIMBY.
In my pants.
Too easy.
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