The Washington Post did a very well-reported, if disturbing, piece on East Coast Rapist Aaron Thomas, detailing his trail of horrific crimes and his new admission that he committed them.

However, this is Wonkette, so you know someone said something stupid about it. What’s that sound? Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

Oh, no, it’s Ann Althouse! Shit.

Isn’t it interesting that The Washington Post drops its long, sympathetic article about a rapist after the election is over? Rape (strangely) became a huge issue in the past campaign season, and it dramatically hurt the Republican Party to have 2 senatorial candidates that said something stupid related to rape (both inept efforts at pro-life sentiment).

It’s not entirely clear how a five-page article detailing how a rapist admitted to his crimes, lied about being insane and, oh, RAPED A LOT OF PEOPLE is “sympathetic” because it points out that he played cruel pranks as a child and nearly killed the family pet. Oh, wait, it also points out that his life was kind of fucked up, then he starting raping people. (The East Coast Rapist is also set to be sentenced this week, which is why the piece was published when it was newsworthy, rather than as some bizarre effort to counterbalance people who excuse rape.)

Sympathy, Wonketeers. This is how you do it.

So, yes, when you take Ann Althouse’s point into account,  you can easily see how she’s a fucking idiot. Lord knows that this long-form journalism would have completely shaken the 2012 campaign by negating what Todd Akin and Richard Mourdock said, and instead made it entirely about this several thousand-word piece detailing the horrible life of a man who admits he did unfathomably brutal things to innocent women.

And Romney would be President. The end.


Apt though. The media just raped us and now helps us understand the thinking of the minds that do such things. I already know. Democrat. Socialist. Wanted something somebody else has. Envy. So took it. And then rejoiced. Slave-descendent mentality. What’s more to know? Look at yourself and you’ll know the mind of a rapist.

The 93% of black Americans who voted for Democrats are coming to rape  you. That’s a lot of Washington Post articles, guys. A lot.


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  • Loch_Nessosaur

    But was he a legitimate rapist? Was it was god intended?

  • OzoneTom

    This just in: Althouse is redacted.

    • Next on WaPo: Fine Wine Boxes and the Drunks Who Drink Them.

      You know, for balance!

  • Lizzietish81

    God dammit commenter person, you fail at punctuation and sentence structure!

    • Esteev

      I read it a few times in an effort to understand it. Didn't work until I started huffing ether.

    • kittensdontlie

      And the commenter continues the insanity: "The lesbians screaming as the results rolled in keep coming to mind. Rolls of lesbian screaming like I've never head before. Screaming. Screaming. Screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming continuously and joyously finally getting something they wanted so desperately like the quiet lonely Obama poster in their window worked MAGIC."

      • Lizzietish81

        Oh I get it, he thinks he's Rorschach from Watchmen.

        • It would explain the "huffing ether" quality.

      • anniegetyerfun

        Oh, man, I have so many screaming lesbian jokes, but it's early (for a new parent) and there's not enough coffee in my system yet.

        • kittensdontlie

          Congratulations!! No hurry, there will be plenty more opportunities for screaming lesbian jokes.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Well, somebody wants a big, black dick…..

    • Esteev

      Let's put it to a "vote." *winkwink*

    • There's a distinct undertone of bitterness and sexual frustration, to be sure

  • One_who_wanders

    Normally I can understand the butthurt articles but this one appears to be not even tangentially linked to reality as we know it.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Neither are most of the right-wing.

  • BadKitty904

    "No, Ms. Outhouse, it's not particularly interesting. Why do you ask?"

  • ph7

    Sometimes, when the Republican party gets legitimately raped by voters, it just needs to just lie back and enjoy it.

    • Geminisunmars

      But they will never admit that it was legitimate.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yeah … why can't they just accept that God intended for them to get raped (with votes)?

    • HateMachine

      If the Republican party didn't want it (with votes!), it wouldn't have left the house with the platform it had on.

      EDIT: wow, just typing that ironically made me feel like an asshole.

    • YouFail4eva

      Some Republican Parties, they rape so easy, like my daddy used to tell me.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    I'm a rapist? Why wasn't I more sympathetic to the Washington Post?

  • I find it interesting that 6 days after the election every media professional associated with the conservative movement has not been taken 500 miles out to sea and thrown overboard.

    • One_who_wanders

      We're gonna need more boats. . . .

    • BadKitty904

      What amazes me is that, after being incorrect on just about everything to do with the election, their "opinions" are still being published as if they mattered.

      • PugglesRule

        "We weren't wrong!!! How dare you say we were wrong!!" say the new occupants of Bizarroworld.

      • Lizzietish81

        Not really like they mattered, but that they're hilarious

      • BadKitty904

        I assume they'll now take "personal responsibility" (remember that?) for their pontificating dumbassery, apologize to their readers, and resign their posts.


    • Mojopo

      From which underground bunker is Jennifer Rubin submitting articles to WaPo? Sure hope she bought enough cases of canned pasta to last for the duration.

      Personally, I recommend baby raviolis.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Is an "althouse" an outhouse in the attic?

  • Althouse has gotten so boozed up that she's lost the ability to form complete sentences. Even Noonington isn't that drunk.

    • BadKitty904



    Yet, the wingnuts don't really get that.

    • HRH_Maddie

      It's almost like you're not even trying to politicize rape.

    • One_Man_Band

      Just "RAPE"? No "legitimate"?


  • The connection seems pretty clear: Aaron Thomas is black, Barrack Obama is black. Therefore the President is the same as the East Coast rapist.

  • Callyson


    • BadKitty904

      Thank you. Now I feel better.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Well said.

  • Isn't it interesting how Republicans are always more interested in giving out punishment instead of trying to understand/prevent crime? Kinda like how they are only interested in protecting human life while still in the womb.

    After you are born, hit the bricks and get a jorb!

  • SorosBot

    That commenter needs a few more nouns, and a little less racism.

  • SorosBot

    So how drunk was Althouse this time?

    • Esteev

      Rhetorical question is rhetorical.

    • Mojopo

      We don't know. She lives like a hoarder and we can't count the empty wine boxes because of all the cats.

  • HRH_Maddie

    Are these guys still mad about BO being reelected? It's been like 6 days already. Let it go.

    • SorosBot

      Oh they've still got another four years to remain super-angry. Or until they burst a blood vessel; whichever comes first.

      • PugglesRule

        Should we start a pool? I'll bite. The aneurysm on December 21, 2012, Katie.

        • Geminisunmars

          I'll take Janurary 20, 2013. If the Mayans (as you suggest, Puggles) don't take us out first.

      • HRH_Maddie

        Well, with a steady diet of hate and transfats, most these jackwagons won't even make it another 4 years.

        • SorosBot

          Andrew Breirbart for one couldn't make the first four.

          • HRH_Maddie

            3/1/12 – Never forget.

        • corthylio

          Yeah, but they are not going to refuse the Obamacare they've been lambasting- that would be an indication of moral consistency…

    • Have any of you heartless bastards thought to inquire as to how Ann Romney is holding up?! She had worked so hard for this!! And to see the tiara slip from her grasp….

      • HRH_Maddie


      • Geminisunmars

        Oh, dear. Do you think she is upset? Oh, dear, has she been rubbing her poor crying eyes so raw that they are bleeding? Oh, dear, is she clawing at her eyes and cheeks. Oh my oh my, is she beating her breastes so hard that she has left bruises. Can she be rolling on the floor back and forth, sobbing like the end of the world for these last 6 days.

        Oh, gee. I sure hope not.

      • AutomaticPilot

        Won't anyone think of the dressage horse?

    • An_Outhouse
  • Beowoof

    Okay they wanted to cover up the number of kids that were aborted after this asshole raped a lot of women to help republicans. Hey this making shit up to fit your conclusion is fun.

  • Goonemeritus

    Well your cogent argument has convinced me that the Democratic Party cynically used the issue of rape only to retain power but in truth is very pro-rape. Is that really her point?

  • edgydrifter

    Shorter Althouse: Obama raped America, because you know how those people are.

  • 1stNewtontheMoon

    If only we could see idiots who say idiotic things–things so idiotic they might be interpreted as sympathetic to rape–as persons conceivably fit for public office then the republicans wouldn't have gotten their moronic asses completely and thoroughly kicked in every contested state-wide race (and even in some smaller races). For Shame! For Shame! I'm ashamed we're not more tolerant of complete fucking morons.

  • BadKitty904

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, *NOW* I get it.

    So. I'm white and Rmoney is white, so I'm Rmoney, right?

    *cocks pistol, points at head*

    • Lizzietish81

      But you have a prancing horse! YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!!!!!!

      • HateMachine

        Don't forget the car elevator. I would make things go up and down on that all day!

    • Thank goodness that if you were really Rmoney you would miss 10 times out of 10 so BadKitty would still be alive and bad.

  • So the WaPo demurred from an opportunity to give the rape-babies-are-god's-will crowd (can we call this faction the rape camp? Please?) a timely reason to say something boorish, horrible and repugnant right before an election? And Ann isn't thanking them?

  • HRH_Maddie

    Is every Republican's personal motto "when in doubt, talk about rape"?

    • BadKitty904

      Given how well it worked for them in the last election, let's hope so.

    • Geminisunmars

      Well, it's just that it is easier to talk about what you know about.

    • MosesInvests

      "I *like* rape."
      That's a quote from Blazing Saddles, BTW, just so no one gets confused.

  • LesBontemps

    That’s a lot of Washington Post articles, guys. A lot.

    So you're saying there's still hope for the WaPo?

  • There is a vast amount of sense not being made by this.

    • TootsStansbury

      Oh good. I thought it was just me.

  • If Ann, Diane Sawyer, and Dame Noonington keep this up wise Wonkette investors might look at juniper berry futures rising with the gin demand.

    • corthylio

      And bathtubs…

  • not that Dewey

    You said "rape" twice.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Chewing gum on line, eh? I hope you brought enough for everybody.

    • BarackMyWorld

      "I like rape."

      • MosesInvests

        Gah, beat me to it.

  • Speaking of rape, has Karl Rove gotten back to his donors yet?

    • HRH_Maddie

      Karl Rove's donors were totally asking for it.

  • TribecaMike

    She's a brick Althouse,
    Mighty mighty, just lettin' it all hang out

  • WhatTheHolyHeck

    I see Operation Politicize Every Fucking Thing On Earth is progressing nicely.

    • Geminisunmars

      You must be a fucking democrat (or republican) to say that.

  • smashedinhat

    Nothing against anyone at all, but I am taking my dog for a walk. For one week. She will be happy as will I. Toodles!

    • corthylio

      Laurie Anderson? Is that you?

  • DixvilleCrotch

    You know who else played cruel pranks as a child and nearly killed the family dog?

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Timmy: The Real Story Behind Lassie

    • TribecaMike
    • BarackMyWorld

      James O'Keefe?

    • Geminisunmars


      • DixvilleCrotch

        That's who I was thinking of… with his forced gay hair clipping (obvs a sign of a psychopath)

    • HogeyeGrex

      Michael Vick?

    • Esteev

      Mike Vick?

    • Lizzietish81

      What? Toto got better!

    • HistoriCat

      That Huckabee kid?

    • MosesInvests


    • Turner ?

    • Clark Griswold?

  • Come here a minute

    "Nuh-uh, man," said the animated GIF.

  • cousinitt

    Sorry Whinehouse, rape has already jumped the shark and is now living in the Dominican with Rush's boys.

  • LesBontemps

    Isn’t it interesting that The Washington Post drops its long, sympathetic article about a rapist after the election is over?

    Wait … the WaPo is pro-rape, and should have published the story earlier to get out the rapey vote? Well, if you're going to insist that the GOP is the pro-rape party, I'm not going to argue.

  • It makes sense if you get really drunk before reading the WaPo article. I'm off to buy a case of wine.

    • SorosBot

      This is Ann Althouse; that should be a box of wine, or a dozen.

  • prommie

    Its well known, you see, that reality has an anti-republican bias. Therefore, if the media reports facts and reality, the media is furthering, aiding and abetting, joining in, and repeating the anti-conservative bias and discrimination practiced by reality. This is all pretty straightfoward, is it not? Even simply remaining silent in the face of facts and realities which are biased against the Republicans means you are complicit in racist hate-crimes! A truly fair and balanced media would fight against this racist bias displayed by reality, by actively DENYING any facts which are biased against Republicans, like, you know, climate change, evolution, the failure of financial deregulation, etc. etc. Accurate reporting of biased facts is racism against republicans, thats why only Fox is fair and balanced!

  • BarackMyWorld

    The New York Times crossword puzzle had a lot of really hard clues that we didn't know the answer to and thus is part of a lame stream media attempt to help Obama.

  • Hammiepants


  • Guppy

    No mention of Willie Horton?

  • Mojopo

    Apt though. Bug-fucking banana bag Ann Althouse helps me understand my thinking. I already know. Liberal. Feminazi. Wanted something somebody else has. Penis envy. So took it. And then rejoiced. What’s more to know?

  • Wadisay

    Y'know, it's only been a week, but already I want, again, to see the conservatives driven before me; to hear the screams of their women and children.

  • Lucidamente1

    When there's a legitimate story about a black rapist, the Althouse body has a way of shutting the whole brain down.

  • MisterCanoehead

    I misread "it’s Ann Althouse! Shit" as "it’s Ann Shithouse! Shit."
    Same thing, basically.

  • LibertyLover

    Did he create little god-intended rape babies? Or did women's bodies find a way to shut his legitimate rapes down? Because his raping would have been god's will then, wouldn't it?


  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I've been toting up the apparent IQ scores of conservatard commenters. Althouse hasn't moved the total, but she just did some serious damage to the average.

    • HogeyeGrex

      From 5 to 4?

      Wait. You said the total didn't move…

  • Blendergoathead

    So, I, personally, have had sex with a WaPo reporter. Does this make me a rapist? I just don't know where to go with this one.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      I don't think so, General Petraeus.

    • Geminisunmars

      Well, I wouldn't be admitting to it, even in jest.

    • finallyhappy

      Richard Cohen? Are you Kati Marton?

    • Would you like us to notify your next of kin?

  • qwerty42

    Still with the butthurt! That is just whining; shouldn't they take action: I'm thinking seppuku.
    No body likes me, everybody hates me, I'm going to eat some worms.
    Once they have gotten that out of the way, we'll all recognize how much we miss and need them and that they were (far) right all along.

  • TribecaMike

    Needz less Ron Jeremy, if that's possible.

  • NW_Pinko

    BLACKS ARE SCARY AND RAPEY!!! Why, oh why didn't the Lame-stream media tell us BEFORE the election!!

  • MinAgain

    Don't rape me, bro!

  • BlueStateLibel

    This is about on the level of the comment on Mitt's Facebook page yesterday: "we are pretending Obama isn't president."

  • bflrtsplk

    Until just now, I never even heard of Ann Althouse. Does that make me a “legitimate rapist?“ Memo to self: No posting on the Wonkette after the three-martini lunch.

  • Does this mean we have finally reached Peak Wingnuttia?

    Or will new technologies enable us to obtain previously untapped sources of Wingnuttia?

  • An_Outhouse

    I wish she would shut up and stop giving all the An*houses a bad name

  • That "Althouse Commenter" is actually what happens when Dame Noonington has a tad too much tincture of opium in her tea and starts playing with her sock puppets.

  • finallyhappy

    one of the commenters said "The Obama gaffes were either swept under the rug by the liberal and progressive Jewish media masters as soon as they happened…" and on the right, there was Shelly Adelson. So I guess we Jews do control everything. I have to go out now and manage South America before dinner time- quickly because it is homemade pizza night!

  • Those slave-descended types. Always a-takin' and never a-makin'! Why don't we send them back to wherever we violently kidnapped their ancestors from?

  • Whollyholeyholy

    Imagine if they had run an article about a super scary rapist concurrent with a story about a candidate who is indicating that there is a glittery silver lining in your recently raped uterus which is capable of bringing the world a bonus baby!

  • Lot_49

    Always remember that Althouse married a man she "met" as a commenter on her blog.

  • Gleem McShineys

    So am I to assume from Althouse's reaction to the Washington Post rapey article, that she has now become more accepting of rape? Because, you know, how sympathetic the article was.

    Ann Althouse climbin' in your windows, snatchin' your people up, tryna rape 'em so y'all need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband, cuz Alt's rapin' errbody out here

  • poorgradstudent

    Ann Althouse and her degrees make me reconsider the policy of affirmative action for morons.

  • Redhead

    "The media just raped us and now helps us understand the thinking of the minds that do such things. I already know. Democrat. Socialist. Wanted something somebody else has. Envy. So took it. And then rejoiced. Slave-descendent mentality. What’s more to know?"

    Apparently the "something somebody else has" was neither a dictionary nor Strunk and White's "Elements of Style."

    • TribecaMike

      Indefinite antecedents libel!

  • docterry6973

    Editrix, you give short shrift to the glorious comment of one 'Chip Ahoy'. He goes on for several paragraphs of increasingly disjointed prose, much of it about lesbians.

    " Rolls of lesbian screaming like I've never head before. Screaming. Screaming. Screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming continuously and joyously finally getting something they wanted so desperately like the quiet lonely Obama poster in their window worked MAGIC They were in ecstasy as the state results rolled past late at night."

    I am surprised that our Editrix would fail to give us the porniest part.

    • not that Dewey

      Isn't it interesting that Zombie James Joyce is commenting on Ann Althouse columns?

  • i won't be able to form an opinion on this until jennifer rubin weighs in.

  • Troglodeity

    Sorry, but I am never interested enough to read the end of sentences that begin: "Isn't it interesting …"

  • Althouse, along with most other Republicans, seem to have forgotten about "the consent of the governed."

  • notreelyhelping

    Well, besides this being racist and stupid, note the implication that running the story just after the election was political, but running it just before the election wouldn't be political. No?

  • ttommyunger

    Rape fantasy libel!

  • BZ1

    Great response to "Althouse": "The lesbians screaming as the results rolled in keep coming to mind."

  • bibliotequetress

    Can someone please explain this to me? Does she think that voters will accidentally confuse Barack Obama with a serial rapist because he is black? Or that voters should think Barack Obama is a serial rapist who is black? Is she trying to insult and demean voters, or insult and demean our President?
    Racist asshats make my brain hurt. Stop! Stop!

  • Ann Althouse. Mayella Ewell. One in the same.

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