ALL HE WANTED WAS A PEPSI  12:07 pm November 12, 2012

Hi Dad You’re In Jail, And Other GOP Vote Frauders ‘Testing The System’

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

seems legitAfter hearing ad nauseam about how Dumbocrats were totally going to ACORN it up this year — and Pundit Press, among others, thinks they totally did — it seems the only three people who actually tried to in-person vote fraud this year were Republicans. So weird! One was a sad idiot lady in sad, idiot Nevada. The other two were some jerkoffs in New Mexico — one of whom, naturally, was a GOP poll watcher. Two of the three gave the same excuse for trying to vote two times each: they were “testing the system,” because of course they were. The third was just stealing his own son’s vote.

Here is our favorite tale of election day skullduggery:

According to Bernalillo County Clerk Maggie Toulouse Oliver, elections workers got suspicious when the silver-haired father showed up to vote and told them he was born in 1994. He was still allowed to cast a ballot, but the workers took down his license plate number when he left. Later, he showed up at a different location and voted under his own name, according to KOB.

When reporter Gadi Schwartz tracked [Thomas] Pino down at his home, the father denied voting twice. His son, however, happened to pull up in a car a short time later. Seeming to know nothing about the allegations against his father, the son told the station he hadn’t yet voted but still intended to.

The elder Pino later called Schwartz to tell him he had made a mistake by voting on behalf of his son, but said his son had given him permission. Both were registered as Republicans at the same Albuquerque address, according to KOB.

It’s like the Dad never even listens when the son is trying to tell him he’s gonna vote later. All he wanted was to go vote. And he wouldn’t give it to him. Just a vote! And people say he’s crazy? When he went to your schools and your churches and your institutional learning facilities? He’s not on drugs. He just wants to vote!

But what about our New Mexico poll watcher? Well, after receiving a provisional ballot he triumphantly announced he had already voted. (He seems to be the only one who didn’t try to actually cast a second ballot after “testing the system,” but ended up in handcuffs anyway.)

What about delightful Roxanne Rubin?

In Nevada, 56-year-old Roxanne Rubin, a Republican, was arrested on Nov. 2 for allegedly trying to vote twice, the Las Vegas Review-Journal reported. The newspaper quoted a report by an investigator with the Nevada Secretary of State’s Office that said Rubin “was unhappy with the process; specifically in that her identification was not checked.”

Rubin allegedly voted at one polling location in Henderson, Nev. on Oct. 29 and then went to another voting location in Las Vegas to try to vote again. Poll workers told her records indicated she had already voted, but Rubin allegedly told them she hadn’t.

See, that would have been the time to pull out the “I am James O’Keefe!” instead of being all “nuh uh no I didn’t, let me vote again!” Because now you will go to prison forever, or whatever kind of sentence a D felony carries.

[TPM / LasCrucesSun-News / ]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 180 comments }

nounverb911 November 12, 2012 at 12:09 pm

IOKIYR?

NO!

sbj1964 November 12, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Republicans,and voter fraud well that's just typical.

Isyaignert November 12, 2012 at 12:58 pm

The 'cons project in IMAX – whatever they're guilty of is what they blame their opponent of doing. It's so Orwellian.

sbj1964 November 12, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Sort of like Fox News using the slogan Fair & Balanced.Got ya.

Joshua Norton November 12, 2012 at 12:10 pm

The Five Stages of GOP Grief:

1) Denial
2) Denial
3) Denial
4) Denial
5) Stroke

1stNewtontheMoon November 12, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Which of these is "shitting pants" a symptom of?

ChillBill November 12, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I believe it's called "Romney your pants."

prommie November 12, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I think the more common expression is "Romney the bed."

HogeyeGrex November 12, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Can we just get to Stage Five already?

prommie November 12, 2012 at 12:22 pm

It'll be a lot quieter when they all get to the stroke stage.

bikerlaureate November 12, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Seems like the perpetual swing between Victim and Bully should be in there somewhere.

Incitefully_Joe November 12, 2012 at 12:27 pm

You forgot Anger. Bitter, racist, anger. Constantly.

FlipFlopFuck November 12, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Kubler-LOSS

Mittaplasia November 12, 2012 at 12:35 pm

After reading so many of their screechy hatey out-of-control rants, it seems a fair number of them would spontaneously combust; however, I feel it may be wrong to speculate how fun that would be to see.

MosesInvests November 12, 2012 at 12:41 pm

If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.

Designer_Rants November 12, 2012 at 1:19 pm

We've learned a trick from the GOPers: say whatever you want, just put "with votes" after it, and you're A-OK. Or claim what you said was "Surveyors Marks", or something…

Callyson November 12, 2012 at 12:54 pm

1. Blame the liberal media

2. Blame the decline of Christian moral standards

3. Blame those lazy you-know-what's for standing around expecting handouts

4. Blame the GOP for not standing firmly behind severe conservatism

5. Evaporate

Designer_Rants November 12, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Yesbut… they never seem to get to that last step.

RufusTFirefly November 12, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Totally stealing this. You, sir, win the internet.

ButthurtWingers2012 November 12, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Nice stage-o-meter…but you're missing something in there. There has to be a stage in there about acting with naked hypocrisy because these idiots seem unable to not be hypocritical. It reminds me of this short-lived argument in an online class of mine that I got into with another student about moral absolutes. Of course he was screaming 'liberals ain't got not absolutes! that's why theyze immoral!" and I answered along the lines of: the problem with this line of thinking is you, yourself cannot reach the bar you set for everyone else…which is why 'moral absolutes' always translates to me as guilty of whatever they're bitching about…and I stand by the answers…of course the argument went on to him (I assume) defining what moral absolutes exist and me producing evidence of the failures of his own wingnuts….this is just another example.

CthuNHu November 12, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Funny, that's the same as "An Average GOP Congressman's Results After Propositioning Five Pages."

skmind November 12, 2012 at 12:10 pm

O'Keefe did inspire courageous acts, therefore it'd be a travesty if he does not win this year's Nobel.

Kid_Charlemagne November 12, 2012 at 12:17 pm

He was "nominated" just like Bill O'Reilly.

johnnyzhivago November 12, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Nobel Prize for Stupidity.

FeloniousMonk November 12, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I think the IgNobel prizes are only for science. They need to expand.

actor212 November 12, 2012 at 12:11 pm

In fairness to the broad in Nevada, she's probably used to pumping more money into the slots when she pulls a loser, so….

Goonemeritus November 12, 2012 at 12:11 pm

It sucks even more to get your ass kicked when you are cheating.

UnholyMoses November 12, 2012 at 12:11 pm

What's a woman doing voting at all, let alone twice?

Apparently, she has not been paying attention to the party she supports …

Designer_Rants November 12, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Yes, it should have been her husband who voted multiple times on her behalf… why doesn't she have a husband? It's these single Jezzebels that are luring away our General Petrauses and ruining our voting systems with their sluttery.

LibertyLover November 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Point of order: that slutty reporter woman that lured that brave Gen. Petraeus actually is married with children. Also, too.

Designer_Rants November 12, 2012 at 5:27 pm

D'oh!

LibertyLover November 12, 2012 at 2:06 pm

She prolly got done making all those samiches for her men early.

snowpointsecret November 12, 2012 at 12:12 pm

See, all those Republicans were voting for Obama, that's why he won! Voter fraud, black panthers, etc.!

LibertyLover November 12, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I'm sure there were a few Republican women for abortion that did vote for Obama once behind that curtain.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 12, 2012 at 12:13 pm

This is the kind of thing that is only bad when a democrat does it. Like gay sex.

snowpointsecret November 12, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Or having an affair.

Lizzietish81 November 12, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Hey! When a republican has an affair its because he's so patriotic he can't keep it in his pants!

Isyaignert November 12, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Is that you Newt?

Lizzietish81 November 12, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Talk partisan to me baby

PugglesRule November 12, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Spreading the patriotic love. Or something.

bikerlaureate November 12, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Voting machines should be upgraded so they can discern the intent of your innermost heart. If you're a real Amercian, of course you ought to be able to break the rules! At least you'd be cheating for a noble purpose, unlike those dirty hippies and browns.

RomneysLogCabin November 12, 2012 at 1:56 pm

or nugget porn.

Google it.

EatsBabyDingos November 12, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Add three GOP fraudsters to these three and put them in a circle. What do you have? A dope ring. We report, you deride.

LesBontemps November 12, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Obama must resign!

bikerlaureate November 12, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Something inappropriate happened somewhere. Impeach!

CrunchyKnee November 12, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Suicidal tendencies aren't just for vatos and LA suburban punks no more.

votebot9000 November 12, 2012 at 12:32 pm

All they wanted was a Pepsi.

flipdraw November 12, 2012 at 1:24 pm

They put me in an institution. Said it was the only solution. Give me the professional help. Protect me from the enemy, myself.

CindynEncinitas November 12, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Just one Pepsi! But she wouldn't give it to me!!!

M. Bouffant November 12, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Do you kids not know how to embed?
Or even to link?

Botlrokit November 12, 2012 at 12:14 pm

He's going to swear up and down later that he's a Democrat, too.

bikerlaureate November 12, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Bullshit Mountain will label them as (D)'s, and find the esoteric connections that prove they're secret agents, never fear.

BadKitty904 November 12, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Larry, Moe, and Curley Rig an Election

1stNewtontheMoon November 12, 2012 at 12:15 pm

I'm not convinced. They're still not catching all the voting fraudsters that they failed to catch from 2000-2008!1!!! Now they're just targeting whites/republicans!!!!!!1!! NOBAMA!!!1

SexySmurf November 12, 2012 at 12:15 pm

I'm going to use that "testing the system" excuse next time I get caught buying blow/selling blow/snorting blow off a hooker's ass.

imissopus November 12, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Mom?

Blueb4sinrise November 12, 2012 at 12:15 pm

How many times did Breitbart vote?

mrblifil November 12, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Don't joke, these election results would have just about killed him.

PugglesRule November 12, 2012 at 2:20 pm

These election results actually killed him again. He's double-dead, like a fine whine.

Guppy November 12, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Breitbart was in the voting booth with all of us, my child.

ButthurtWingers2012 November 12, 2012 at 3:17 pm

There is no reason for Z-Bart to vote as the results are just in: he stole the GOP's heart while they lifted everyone else's wallets (or at least Rove did that part)

mrblifil November 12, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Dad seeks Son…with votes!

Mittaplasia November 12, 2012 at 12:16 pm

He should'a stuck to Pepsi.

edgydrifter November 12, 2012 at 12:16 pm

They were "testing the system" in the same sense that burglars are "freelance security evaluators."

Ruhe November 12, 2012 at 12:25 pm

To complete the analogy the burglars would have to be attempting to break into your home by mowing your lawn or cleaning out the gutters or some other activity completely unrelated to actually breaking into your home.

SorosBot November 12, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Why didn't Nixon think of that one? "We were just concerned about the DNC security and decided to do them a favor and test it".

Chow Yun Flat November 12, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Republicans who commit vote fraud are arrested by FBI agents in body armor. They must save the Tasers and police dogs for the Democrats.

BadKitty904 November 12, 2012 at 12:20 pm

And pepper spray! Don't forget the pepper spray!

bikerlaureate November 12, 2012 at 12:31 pm

It's a food and an implement of torture!

malsperanza November 12, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Like ketchup.

fartknocker November 12, 2012 at 12:17 pm

And the sweet irony of this is the black man is still the President and Elizabeth Warren will likely do more to protect them from asshole bankers than Mittens.

And Grover Norquist, the biggest goat fucker on K-Street called Mittens a Poopy Head:
http://officialssay.tumblr.com/post/35564544885/t

Geminisunmars November 12, 2012 at 12:26 pm

He said Obama called Mittens a Poopy Head. Either way, that is true. Figuratively. And literally — with votes.

Beetagger November 12, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Nuh Unh.. Grover's the Poopy Head.

weejee November 12, 2012 at 12:33 pm

And let us not forget that beloved Grover is/was best buddies with Ollie North in running guns to Nicaragua and with Jack Abramoff in scamming the tribes. There are no ethics or morality issues on any act as long as it is performed by an anti-tax conservative.

ButthurtWingers2012 November 12, 2012 at 3:20 pm

That's the gist of it…I'm still pissed that the Abramoff trial didn't involve arresting Norquist for money laundering and Ralph Reed for fraud…just shows why Republicans should never be within a mile of the Oval Office…too much moral relativism from these idiots…

EatsBabyDingos November 12, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red lightweight prison jumpsuit. No, wait, yes you do.

Chet Kincaid_ November 12, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I was only frauding for a friend!!

weejee November 12, 2012 at 12:34 pm

That's right up there with a "some of my best friends are…" statement.

WIDTAP November 12, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Haven't you heard? Friends don't let friends fraud votes.

ChillBill November 12, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Ha ha, and they still lost.

prommie November 12, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Right, "testing the system," yeah, sure, thats the ticket! Like when Pete Townshend was "investigating" kiddie nakey pictures (God help me, I am afraid this comment might go over about as well as the results of the game Saturday night).

Chet Kincaid_ November 12, 2012 at 12:53 pm

I'm reading Pete's autobiography right now, so I'll let you know what he says about that.

prommie November 12, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Just finger-punch the answer-box, its right in there!

doloras November 12, 2012 at 4:08 pm

The cops accepted his story and released him without charge. Even Roger Daltrey stood up for him. Witchhunting celebrity "suspected pedobears" only serves to let the real kiddie-rapers run and hide.

FakaktaSouth November 12, 2012 at 1:30 pm

You're an ass.

Chet Kincaid_ November 12, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Oh, just ignore him. Hey, I found out who that woman with the amazing voice on Jack White's album is. My initial thought that she was a Nashville chanteuse was actually correct — but she was born in Ghana! Her name is Ruby Amanfu, and she was previously in a rootsy duo called Sam & Ruby. Very nice stuff.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruby_Amanfu
http://www.nme.com/news/jack-white/61748
http://us.myspace.com/rubyamanfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSWnThyoXDQ&fe

SorosBot November 12, 2012 at 12:19 pm

How pathetic do you have to be to be a wannabe James O'Keefe, that felonious shit-stain stuck to the ass of American politics?

MissTaken November 12, 2012 at 12:24 pm

When you aspire to level of O'Keefe you really need to reassess your life.

GemlikeFlame November 12, 2012 at 12:33 pm

One of which O'Keefe-alikes do not have, in any conventional sense of the word.

Assessment is futile. You will be deemed too arrogant and evil to be assimilated.

weejee November 12, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Instead of voluntary deportations how about O'Keefe and his wannabes do a voluntary incarceration? Beds will be opening-up now that California has made a do-over on the 3-strikes silly sauce.

Isyaignert November 12, 2012 at 1:01 pm

SorosBot – you are downright poetic!

Geminisunmars November 12, 2012 at 12:20 pm

That father could make a great commercial: If only I'd used Just For Men shampoo-in color before I tried to vote as my son, no one would have guessed.

PugglesRule November 12, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Maybe if he'd dyed his hair purple he could've passed for 18? And don't forget the nose rings!

Mittaplasia November 12, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Voter, shmoter, that's what they WANT you to talk about so you ignore the big picture…Benghazi!

snowpointsecret November 12, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Tomorrow, Fox News will be talking about how all voter fraud in this election happened in states that Obama won. It's not lying, it's just giving half the facts!

HarryButtle November 12, 2012 at 12:23 pm

IOKIYB

(It's OK if You're Blah?)

OneYieldRegular November 12, 2012 at 12:23 pm

James O'Keeffe looks a little young to have been born in 1994.

Botlrokit November 12, 2012 at 12:24 pm

This Pino guy can't be a Republican! He's at home during the day, and not dressed for a job. HE IS JUST A RINO.

Spurning Beer November 12, 2012 at 12:24 pm

We should not be too rough on these people. They were just committing physical or sexual violence…with votes.

HobbesEvilTwin November 12, 2012 at 12:25 pm

How in the fuck can people vote at more than one polling place? Maybe I live in a bubble (yes, yes I do*), but I don't know of any place where you can vote other than at the ONE precinct/ward polling place for the ONE precinct/ward that you live in. WTF?

*Cambridge, MA – now with extra special Warren bubbles.

miss_grundy November 12, 2012 at 12:37 pm

I guess in Red states you can get away with that stuff. I wouldn't be able to get away with that stuff here in Michigan.

MosesInvests November 12, 2012 at 12:46 pm

In Austin this year, you could vote at any polling station. They take your name, check you off the list on the computer, and give you a code that brings up the ballot for your precinct on the machine.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 12, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Beats the NYC system. My polling place was conveniently located a few doors down from my own, but the residents of that very building had to vote elsewhere.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard November 12, 2012 at 12:25 pm

The Institutionalized ref made me fall in love with Rebecca all over again. Please don't make me become just another one of your stalkers!

rocktonsam November 12, 2012 at 12:26 pm

voter frauders are people too you guys and patriots also

HogeyeGrex November 12, 2012 at 12:26 pm

B-b-b-b-uuut…

WHERE DID 16 MILLION WHITE VOTES GO????

Just in case you haven't had your fill of batshit crazy today.

"If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit"

actor212 November 12, 2012 at 12:29 pm

From Grex's link:

Both parties have to be completely aware of what I'm saying.

Dude, I just read what you said and *I* have no fucking clue what it means! How can you expect the parties to know?

Incitefully_Joe November 12, 2012 at 12:34 pm

I am trying to figure out if he's implying that they were abducted by illegal space-aliens, or assassinated by the CIA hit squad that killed JFK, or the vicitims of organized black-on-white crime. One of those, though, right?

BadKitty904 November 12, 2012 at 12:36 pm

"One"?

HogeyeGrex November 12, 2012 at 12:44 pm

I have no idea, but if you google "16 million white votes" you get 6,000 or so results, so it's spread around a bit.

I saw a comment on a yahoo news article ranting something about that and had to look it up. It's been giving me the giggles ever since.

The polls on the sidebar are fucking precious.

sullivanst November 12, 2012 at 12:51 pm

It must be that Obama's a Lightworker and simply magicked those votes away.

Incitefully_Joe November 12, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Of course Obama's a light-worker. He naps all the time, because he's black! Also, he has rhythm.

SorosBot November 12, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Maybe someone should tell him about the inevitability of aging and death, which is especially relevant when a party's base is composed entirely of the elderly?

HistoriCat November 12, 2012 at 12:55 pm

It was a group effort, coordinated by the reverse vampires, acting under orders from the Rand Corporation. Duh.

SorosBot November 12, 2012 at 12:55 pm

The guy kind of answers his own question here:

"As you can see, as the population increases, the number of voters increases in every election cycle except when Clinton ran for re-election against Dole. Not a hotly contested election. Kind of a walk away for Clinton."

Yes, just like this election was for Obama.

Guppy November 12, 2012 at 1:08 pm

WHERE DID 16 MILLION WHITE VOTES GO????

Diabeetus.

Esteev November 12, 2012 at 1:17 pm

What the fuck is this all about?

Thankfully, "Anonymous" commenter has my answer:

"When people of a nation insist on turning their back on God as this nation has done, He will give them exactly the kind of leader they want, and let them suffer the consequences. It happened over and over again with Israel, now it's happening here. God's judgment, pure and simple."

Here we go again!

MissTaken November 12, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Thanksgiving this year at the father fraud household:

Son: Hey Dad, can you please pass the sweet potato casserole?

Dad: I can't, I'm in jail.

ugodOH November 12, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Mad props for the Suicidal Tendencies references.

mrblifil November 12, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Which is itself a reference to Nervous Breakdown, so mad props all around for songs that preëxisted the term "mad props."

CindynEncinitas November 12, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Now if only there were an excuse to mention the Cuckoo's Nest…

SorosBot November 12, 2012 at 12:28 pm

It's funny how every time a Republican operative tries to "test the system" to show how easy voting fraud is and prove the need for onerous voter suppression, they get caught. It's almost as if the existing laws to prevent voting fraud already work perfectly well and there's no need for the further rules they are agitating for.

MissTaken November 12, 2012 at 12:30 pm

I'm sorry, Officer. I was not soliciting nasty, kinky sex from that hooker. I was testing the system. Yeah, that's it. Testing!

SorosBot November 12, 2012 at 12:39 pm

David Vitter, is that you?

BadKitty904 November 12, 2012 at 12:37 pm

What are you, some kinda radical? ;0)

ttommyunger November 12, 2012 at 12:28 pm

I wonder how many voters would have stood in line for hours to vote if they weren't so totally pissed off knowing that the Republicans were trying their best to deprive them of ever seeing a ballot? I am completely convinced that the blatant and persistent effort at voter suppression only served to galvanize minorities to get to the polls. I frankly wonder if Barry would have won without this assist from the Right. BTW, how's that Citizen's United thingy working out for you, Rightards?

MissTaken November 12, 2012 at 12:33 pm

True. I was talking to an African-American woman here at work the morning after the election and she said that the GOP thought they could hold the vote down but Americans stood in line for hours in the cold, etc to say 'fuck you, you can't hold our vote down'.

ttommyunger November 12, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Always with the overreach. I love it!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

SorosBot November 12, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Who would have thought that trying to stop minorities from voting, along with constant angry hardcore racism, might just piss people off and make them more likely to vote? Why next it might turn out that that some women were extra-motivated to vote by the Republican assault on abortion rights and birth control.

Chet Kincaid_ November 12, 2012 at 1:50 pm

One of the myriad ways that the Republicans are living in the past is that they have deluded themselves that nobody on the other side notices when they openly discuss their blatant plans to screw them. "The browns are too busy picking cotton and fruit to hear our scheming up here on the veranda, and Madame Blanche is in her 27th hour of labor with the midwife!"

Jerri November 12, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I'm also amazed at how much of their attempts to suppress the vote rely on their belief that people are complete morons. As if calling people up and saying "Oh, you know that election you've been hearing about for a year and a half? Uh, yeah so it's on Wednesday now. No, really. Also you just voted by phone so you're good anyway," was going to work! Oh those brown people. So gullible!

You can almost see the smoke-filled room full of cartoonish old white guys where that idea was hatched.

sullivanst November 12, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Haven't those communities consistently suffered extremely long lines as Republicans have made sure those precincts lack the resources needed to get everyone in and out efficiently, knowing that the key for any Democratic candidate in Florida or Ohio is to run up big margins in urban areas?

ttommyunger November 12, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Absolutely! But such passive tactics weren't enough this time and they went proactive to a fair thee well. Publications and broadcasts of active purging of voter registrations fanned the flames. No one wants something so badly as when it seems to be snatched from your grasp.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

Hammiepants November 12, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Hahaha, poor GOP 'tards can't even cheat effectively.

BadKitty904 November 12, 2012 at 12:39 pm

As someone on here* commented:

"C'mon, these guys aren't evil geniuses. Well, not geniuses, anyways…"

*my apologies for not remember precisely who

corthylio November 12, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Republican Roxanne Rubin revotes Romney/Ryan (R).

Something is really wrong here…

not that Dewey November 12, 2012 at 12:33 pm

This doesn't even scratch the surface of goofy New Mexico voter fraud. This here husband of a Heather Wilson staffer registered his dog to vote, then used the "testing the system" defense. O'Keefe-level voter registration chess.

CrunchyKnee November 12, 2012 at 12:40 pm

So, if I ever get busted for possession of a controlled substance, I can just say, "sorry dude, just testing the system?"

not that Dewey November 12, 2012 at 12:42 pm

"I just wanted to prove that it was possible to buy heroin."

TootsStansbury November 12, 2012 at 12:33 pm

I wish Michele Bachmann had been busted trying to cast a vote for each and every one of the voices in her head.

not that Dewey November 12, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Lucky for us, she rarely votes.

Beowoof November 12, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Well it looks like the system works folks. Hopefully, these criminals will get some jail time to reflect on their behavior. And hopefully the other folks in the cell will be from the New Black Panthers party.

DahBoner November 12, 2012 at 12:38 pm

"Guy who got Romney face tattoo regrets nothing"

All facial tattoos just scream "No second thoughts", nor first ones neither…

OneDollarJuana November 12, 2012 at 12:38 pm
bikerlaureate November 12, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Is there a follow-up yet? The article you linked doesn't provide specifics (and after the unnamed employer is charged, I presume we'll get to find out who they are)…

OneDollarJuana November 12, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Nuttin' yet.

Lizzietish81 November 12, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Or the machine in Pennsylvania that kept switching Obama votes to Romney votes?

sullivanst November 12, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Thank you for proving that standing laws are adequate for detecting the very few instances of in-person voter fraud, you braindead fucking morons. Enjoy your time in prison as the system proves that not only does it work, it provides serious punishment as a deterrent to any future morons with similar ideas.

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 12, 2012 at 12:41 pm

It just shows that even conspiracy theories have an ideological bias. Liberals were assuming that there would be effective, math-based, hard-to-detect election fraud, and responded by a get-out-the-vote campaign large enough to overcome it. The conservatives assumed personal, small scale one-at-a-time voter fraud and responded by trying it out themselves to prove that it works.

Mittaplasia November 12, 2012 at 12:43 pm

It must first be determined whether these were LEGITIMATE frauds.

Lizzietish81 November 12, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Good thing the system has a way of shutting that down.

Mojopo November 12, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Her entire defense will be to sit in the courtroom screaming "LIBYA LIBYA BENGHAZI!" over and over again, until we finally understand.

DesertTed November 12, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Republicans have a lot to learn about rigging elections. You can't do it as a voter, you have to be a vote counter. Duh.

Baba_NinjaCat12 November 12, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Republican: Voting twice is simply patriotic by testing the system to be 100% compliant with voting laws.
Democrat: Voting for a democrat is voter fraud and a COMMUNIST!

TribecaMike November 12, 2012 at 12:55 pm

To paraphrase Cleavon Little, "Where the white voters at?"

Callyson November 12, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Dumbocrats were totally going to ACORN it up this year — and Pundit Press, among others, thinks they totally did

Just made the mistake of clicking on this link. As bad as the column is, the comments below are even worse…

Christ, I am so happy these fuckers lost…

Isyaignert November 12, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Just try saying "Republican Roxanne Rubin" three times fast.

Esteev November 12, 2012 at 12:59 pm

If you aren't cheating, you aren't trying. Ask Petraeus.

ttommyunger November 12, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I have my doubts, sadly.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

HistoriCat November 12, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Me too. I would like to think that the last two years inflictedenough pain that the Dems would remember that it's not enough to havea President – you need a working Congress too. But … yeah.

Chet Kincaid_ November 12, 2012 at 1:53 pm

We need leadership to make this happen, people aren't going to realize it in a vacuum. Under Howard Dean, we at least had a strategy for this. It succeeded, also.

HistoriCat November 12, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Amen!

Incitefully_Joe November 12, 2012 at 1:06 pm

You guys, none of this stuff counts as voter fraud, OBVZ, because there wasn't a high concentration of people of color, which is the ONLY definitive proof of voter fraud.

Misty Malarky November 12, 2012 at 1:14 pm

And it's off to the FEMA Camps with the lot!

missannthropethefirst November 12, 2012 at 1:16 pm

I love the Suicidal Tendencies reference!

That said, I'm really glad neither of the NM frauds were in my county.

MC5 November 12, 2012 at 1:16 pm

"Let's go do some crimes!"

"Yeah, let's go get sushi and not pay."

sullivanst November 12, 2012 at 1:26 pm

When you consider the cause of the very long lines, you should expect that they're precincts that have been gerrymandered into very safe Democratic districts. For example, the Democrat in Columbus (the new OH-03) won by over 40%; the Republicans didn't even bother contesting the new FL-24, DWS won with a margin of almost 30%; the Dems in both FL-20 and FL-21 won by margins in excess of 50%.

It's not the people that wait on massive lines that we have to worry about. It's the suburbanites who aren't the targets of the GOP's hate campaign, and consequently don't see themselves as directly threatened by the goober agenda, even though a sinking tide lowers all boats.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 12, 2012 at 1:39 pm

The reason for drawing lines that gather as many Dems as possible into a single Rorschach-blot of a district is so that several adjoining districts can be converted to majority GOP.

sullivanst November 12, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I'm painfully aware of how it works, and why it's illegal in Britain and should be here, but also of why most states allow it (the incumbent protection racket cuts both ways). Point is, the districts where the long lines are mostly found are safe districts, so turnout isn't particularly important, especially as FL in particular does not have a Senate election at the midterms (the Virginian DC 'burbs might be important, although in '08 Warner racked up 65% against a highly credible opponent, so I'd be surprised if his race turns into a nailbiter).

Designer_Rants November 12, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Uh, holycrapPunditPressisKARAAAAAZZZZZEEEEEE!!!

Biel_ze_Bubba November 12, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Someone should ask Bernie Madoff is he was just testing the system.

T3rbo November 12, 2012 at 1:41 pm

So very awesome. Republicans, only when it is too late, realize what happens when you drink the voter fraud is everywhere kool-aid

Fed_up_Fed November 12, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Don't forget the totally patriotic Republican election worker in Clackamas County, OR, who helpfully filled in uncompleted ballots because a tie goes to the GOP, amiright?

TribecaMike November 12, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I fought defraud and defraud lost?

barto November 12, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Good News! The system works! Well done, dumbasses.

Wile E. Quixote November 12, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Here's a simple rule of thumb for understanding conservatives: If a conservative is in favor of something such as marital fidelity or serving in the military or letting the "free" market take it's course then chances are that they haven't done it, aren't doing it and are never going to do it. If a conservative is against something such as homosexuality, voter fraud, marital infidelity or accepting government handouts then chances are that they have done it, are doing it and are never going to stop doing it.

Wile E. Quixote November 12, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Two of the three gave the same excuse for trying to vote two times each: they were “testing the system,” because of course they were.

And they should be charged with voter fraud, tried in a court of law, and if found guilty, sent to jail for a long, long, long time. Which would prove that the system works.

BZ1 November 12, 2012 at 5:28 pm

"Voting on behalf of his son" isn't at all a lame excuse, is it?

pigdog2 November 12, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Bonus points for getting "nauseam" right.

bikerlaureate November 12, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Get a haircut, Obot.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: