WE JUST WE CAN'T EVEN  3:25 pm November 10, 2012

Peggy Noonan, Of Course, Says She Was Right All Along

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

There is nothing like a damePresented without comment, because sweet Jesus Christ fucking your mom, how do you even … what is the … why can how for … brain … cracked … shlobblemorfin hoowigah?

President Obama did not lose, he won. It was not all that close. There was enthusiasm on his side. Mitt Romney’s assumed base did not fully emerge, or rather emerged as smaller than it used to be. He appears to have received fewer votes than John McCain. The last rallies of his campaign neither signaled nor reflected a Republican resurgence. Mr Romney’s air of peaceful dynamism was the product of a false optimism that, in the closing days, buoyed some conservatives and swept some Republicans. While GOP voters were proud to assert their support with lawn signs, Democratic professionals were quietly organizing, data mining and turning out the vote. Their effort was a bit of a masterpiece; it will likely change national politics forever. Mr. Obama was perhaps not joyless but dogged, determined, and tired.

Apart from those points, everything in my blog post of Nov. 5 stands.

[WSJ]

 
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{ 501 comments }

Lucidamente1 November 10, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I'll drink to that.

Negropolis November 10, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Even if you don't, she already has, bless her heart.

Pat_Pending November 11, 2012 at 1:26 am

ok (*schlorrrrrp*)

slowhansolo November 10, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Because shut up.

AlterNewt November 10, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Where can I purchase one of these Make-Your -Own-Reality kits?

imissopus November 10, 2012 at 3:47 pm

You need to assemble it piecemeal at a couple of locations: your drugstore, the local liquor emporium…

ManchuCandidate November 10, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Get a Vicodin and OxyContin prescription then inhale them like candy with a gin chaser.

LionHeartSoyDog November 11, 2012 at 6:42 pm

I would like to "get" one of those, without again going through reconstructive surgery.
It's tons cheaper, and cleaner.

(and do the alcohol first, and wait fifteen minutes, also).

Callyson November 10, 2012 at 3:52 pm
Designer_Rants November 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm

lol! Just buy all that crap! Eventually it takes over your ability to reason, and that's when you just give into the The Great Stupid.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I can haz crap?

Geminisunmars November 10, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Stuff. It is stuff you want.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I do kind of want this inflatable thingy for when I'm feeling punchy/kicky/stabby/votey. http://www.gopstore.com/cgi-bin/rnc/II101.html

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Free stuff!

not that Dewey November 10, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Butch_Wagstaff November 10, 2012 at 5:49 pm

That's gotta be my favorite.

not that Dewey November 10, 2012 at 9:45 pm

"Why yes. Yes it is."

Monsieur_Grumpe November 10, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Can you still order those? I'd buy one… now.

malsperanza November 10, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Yes, We Can! Unfortunately, it will put you on the donor list for the GOP forever, and I don't think I can bear that. And it would also mean donating to the GOP, and I just can't do it, not even $2.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 7:07 pm

What? No Romney/Ryan merch? Not even in the clearance bin?

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 8:49 pm

2 tons of Re-elect Romney/Ryan 2016 promotional merchandise. We'll pay you $50.00 cash if you'll pick it up late at night when no one is watching. Donate it to a charity and take the tax write-off based on the retail price, the original stickers are still attached.

Jukesgrrl November 11, 2012 at 3:14 am

Thanks for the accounting tip, Mrs. Ryan.

sullivanst November 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Also, several dozen 60' x 20' "Congratulations, President-Elect Romney" signs.

bibliotequetress November 11, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Callyson, when I first saw the "Are you better off than you were $4 trillion ago?" sticker, I misread it and didn't notice the dollar sign. I thought, "Well gee, some wingnut actually believes in the big bang, even if they got the age off."

Of course, I was wrong.

LionHeartSoyDog November 11, 2012 at 6:51 pm

"GOP Apron/Spatula Set"

Paid for by the Repo Neanderthal Committee.
Keep your female slaves in the kitchen during the day.

How could this tactic not work with 51% of the electorate?

not that Dewey November 10, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Sure. You probably think Sea Monkeys don't actually look like this.

Stevola November 10, 2012 at 4:49 pm

They don't smile so much in captivity

bikerlaureate November 10, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Unless they're into that, which is none of my business…

Negropolis November 10, 2012 at 10:42 pm

LOL!

bibliotequetress November 11, 2012 at 1:23 pm

"They don't smile so much in captivity."

But they have a castle, and, and, STUFF. (thanks, Bill O'Reilly!)

LionHeartSoyDog November 11, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Many children were inadvertently educated about our economic system through those adverts.

Terry November 10, 2012 at 3:59 pm

The GOP'ers have purchased every available copy.

miss_grundy November 10, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Send $49.95 to the Grand Ole Party
P.O. Box 666
Oblivion, OH 43601

Dimitrios_M November 10, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Dol you want the Neocon Up-To-My-Ass-In-Quagmire-And-Loving-It model or the Tra-Lah Tra-Lah I’m King of America Tomorrow Mittens Romeny Special?

ibwilliamsi November 11, 2012 at 1:13 am

You don't have that much money.

FNMA November 10, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I'm…Jesus…Let's see…Peggy is…Holy fuck, she's left me speechless. All I can say this is definitive proof that chasing Xanax with vodka is a bad idea. That kind of brain damage can only happen in that shining city on the hill you see when you mix 'scripts with booze. Or something like that.

memzilla November 10, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Oh Dame Peggington, you really should start having a little food first before your morning eye-opener…

Vicodin plus Tanqueray = short-term memory loss… with votes.

sullivanst November 11, 2012 at 8:47 pm

I'm telling ya, I was talking to the missus and her cuz while Peggington was on the teevee machine this morning, and I glanced over and quickly became convinced that she'd spent all the time from the result becoming apparent Tuesday night and her appearance on FTN drowning her sorrows in several bottles of gin. I watched Flight last night, so I also figured she probably did a couple of lines of coke to get herself up enough for the cameras.

Buzz Feedback November 10, 2012 at 3:32 pm

After this, Lady Peggington needs a new moniker. I suggest Retrograde Ejaculation.

Guppy November 10, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Sounds like a fancier name for santorum.

Estproph November 11, 2012 at 10:11 am

Dread Pirate Pegleg O'Noonan

Pegiweg Noonanoonan

Nanny Noonan (megapoints to anyone who knows the source of this)

Peggypeggybobeggy banananananoneggy fefifofeggy Peggy Noonan

Peg Newton

NDeeeZ November 11, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Caddyshack?

Estproph November 11, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Nope.Way more obscure.

Pithaughn November 10, 2012 at 3:33 pm

This is good news for Romney.

RomneysLogCabin November 10, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Finally, a valid conspiracy.

bflrtsplk November 10, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Even better news for John McCain.

Guppy November 10, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Surely this will buoy his poll numbers!

petforest November 10, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Republican operatives don't like to rub elbows with "those people", preferring instead to mail them professionally written and photographed propaganda. And make expensive commercials that cause much mirth among those who have not swallowed the Kooldaid.

Obama's ground troops ARE "those people", and happily rubbed elbows- and perhaps other parts as well- with anyone, anywhere, anytime- if it got them to vote D.

Boojum November 10, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Except for being totally wrong, I was right. Bitches

bikerlaureate November 10, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Get that woman a Sunday talk show!
Give her even more money for her perceptive anaylsis!

LetUsBray November 10, 2012 at 6:18 pm

I meant to do that.

MaxUdargo November 10, 2012 at 8:13 pm

From her Nov. 5 article that she links to: "Is it possible this whole thing is playing out before our eyes and we’re not really noticing because we’re too busy looking at data on paper instead of what’s in front of us? Maybe that’s the real distortion of the polls this year: They left us discounting the world around us."

That is so completely and perfectly wrong that I doubt anybody can find a more beautiful example of wrongness in all the recorded punditry prior to the election. That is wrongness with fucking prescient precision. That is Godlike wrongness.

actor212 November 11, 2012 at 6:06 am

No one could have foreseen….

NDeeeZ November 11, 2012 at 2:01 pm

"I would've been right if I hadn't been so wrong."

Boojum November 11, 2012 at 2:33 pm

She would have known better if she listened to Country-Western.

SaintRond November 10, 2012 at 3:34 pm

That cunt.

subsum November 11, 2012 at 11:20 am

Cunt, alright.

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 3:37 pm

That's tellin' 'em, Pegs! Good thing we have your keen grasp of the obvious to depend on for keeping us informed.

Here, have another drink…

idrobny November 12, 2012 at 10:56 pm

the shame of it all is that she appeared on c.b.s. program "face the nation" as an expert on the election. shame on you c.b.s. you must have gotten her appearance cheap. that is why no one pays attention to your expertise anymore.

Blueb4sinrise November 10, 2012 at 3:38 pm

From her Nov. 5th

All the vibrations are right.

Now I understand.

sewollef November 10, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Those "vibrations" she speaks about, was merely her vibrator she'd forgotten was still in her panties.

What a fuckwit this woman is.

Boojum November 10, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Sybian.

Which is something I heard about from a friend doing research for a term paper.

thatsitfortheother1 November 10, 2012 at 5:58 pm

They're not normally considered portable, but she manages.

viennawoods13 November 10, 2012 at 10:54 pm

You know, I really don't want to picture Pegs on a Sybian.

bikerlaureate November 10, 2012 at 4:57 pm

♪ Close my eyes, she's somehow closer now
Softly smile, I know she must be kind
When I look in her eyes
She goes with me to a blossom world ♫

Negropolis November 10, 2012 at 10:46 pm

What, nothing about chakras? I was told that there would be charkas.

whiskeybaby November 10, 2012 at 3:39 pm

"I see now that there were more Mexicans in the country than that one fellow I saw from my apartment that time. Interesting."
- Peggy Noonan

smokefilledroommate November 10, 2012 at 4:04 pm

"I see now that there were more Mexicans in the country than that one fellow I saw falling from my apartment building on window-washing day. Interesting."

/fixed

Dimitrios_M November 10, 2012 at 10:11 pm

"I see now that there were more Mexicans in the country than that one I hit with my car on the way to the 9 AM Happy Hour. Hic!."

Both Sides Do It November 10, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I thought, "There is no way Schoenkopf is representing this accurately."

I thought, "Noonan is going for some kind of half-assed literary mea culpa where she destroys her previous analysis with statements of what actually happened, and then tries to pull a "besides that Mrs. Lincoln" thing."

I thought "Wonkette is going soft, this is an amateur mistake."

Then I read Peggington's Noonington.

It . . . not only did Schoenkopf get it right but she responded to it the only way it can be responded to, with ellipses and gibberish, empty air and nonsense, which is what it is.

I mean: "We are a center-right country, but the Republican Party over the next few years will have to ponder again what center-right means."

Howsa . . . gurgalish?

sewollef November 10, 2012 at 3:56 pm

centre-right my fucking arse!

As we Brits say…

Toomush_Infer November 10, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Nailed it!….

smokefilledroommate November 10, 2012 at 4:07 pm

You come here for teh fair and balanced, correct?

Both Sides Do It November 10, 2012 at 4:30 pm

. . . no? I can't actually tell what this is supposed to mean. I was worried the calibration in the Wonkette snark cannons was off and that they misunderstood what they were aiming at, which doesn't happen a whole lot. They Get It, and when they don't it's jarring. But no, Lady Dolphinhamshire really did drive herself to those heights of ponce, without even chancing the sight of a Mexican.

"Both Sides Do It" should be pronounced mockingly, if that helps, and if it doesn't looking at my profile thing should.

smokefilledroommate November 10, 2012 at 4:43 pm

I'm sorry, you got me wrong. Just as I did with another commenter very recently–easy to do. 'Fair and balanced' meaning obviously a sarcastic nod to FOX, but also to what you alluded to in Ms. Schoenkopf's representation of the facts. This is a satire/left-leaning site, sorry if calling it 'fair and balanced' threw you. I won't look at your profile because I don't give a shit, but Honestly, I didn't mean to offend.

Both Sides Do It November 10, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Oh no worries, happens all the time. I thought that might've been it and then didn't include it, for some reason. Sorry for jumping down your throat.

One bad thing about Nooners' gibberish is you want to rhetorically hit something, and can't, because the fuck you gonna do, she did it all for you.

PubOption November 10, 2012 at 4:50 pm

As one of the British newspapers once claimed "The USA has a centre-right party, and a reactionary party".

Dimitrios_M November 10, 2012 at 10:16 pm

"Everything I wrote was 100% correct, except for those fucking nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs. You must admit, the articles and punctuation were right on the money."

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 10:31 pm

"every word she writes is a lie, including 'and' and 'the'." — Mary McCarthy, about Lillian Hellman

Negropolis November 10, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Come on. I'd trust the veracity of Editrix over that gin-soaked wordsmith any day of the week. And, no, before you ask, those two figures are not one and the same.

Beowoof November 10, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Have that many hispanics registered to vote? Yes Peggy they have and the republicans are going to need more than Marco to overcome the problems.

dr_giraud November 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Ease off Peggers–she touched a Mexican once.

Beowoof November 10, 2012 at 5:47 pm

The only way I see than happening is a pool boy she paid for the privilege.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Show me on my penis where she touched you.

ManchuCandidate November 10, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Oh Pegs, it might be a good time to lay off the Vicodin and Gin and admit when you're wrong because this just makes it fun for the rest of us as we get to hound you when you play the denial game.

Blueb4sinrise November 10, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Ah gin. That's what must be in the 'November Fifth'.

RomneysLogCabin November 10, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Rebecca–contain yourself.

You're a professional democrat organizing the masses at this top secret indoctrination forum.

Seal Team Six, errr, never divulges secrets.

#VoteWhite

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:47 am

"Seal Team Six, errr, never divulges secrets. "

Except to video game manufacturers, apparently.

seppdecker November 10, 2012 at 3:46 pm

…everything in my blog post of Nov. 5 stands.

In Specifick, I have my Treasure and the darke, unwashed Masses shall stayeth in-visable like the very Aire. Go fukk thyselves!

Callyson November 10, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I think it’s Romney. I think he’s stealing in “like a thief with good tools,” in Walker Percy’s old words.

Well, the employees of the businesses that went under after Bain acquired them and loaded their companies down with debt so that they could cash in on them would agree with Noonan on that much…

malsperanza November 10, 2012 at 7:50 pm

I think it’s Romney. I think he’s stealing “like a thief with good tools,”

There, fixed that for Peggy and Walker Percy.

boobookitteh November 10, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Box wine is a helluva drug.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:49 am

Or as I call it, Mommy's special juice box. Just like your Juicy Juice, kiddies! Go get me a straw.

Pro tip:3 liter boxes are easier to lug around.

Callyson November 10, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Romney ends most rallies with his story of the Colorado scout troop that in 1986 had an American flag put in the space shuttle Challenger, saw the Challenger blow up as they watched on TV, and then found, through the persistence of their scoutmaster, that the flag had survived the explosion. It was returned to them by NASA officials. When Romney, afterward, was shown the flag, he touched it, and an electric jolt went up his arm.

I'm sure the friends and family members of the people who fucking *died* when the Challenger exploded are so very happy for Mittens…

/for fuck's sake

JohnnyQuick November 10, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I hope that flag was properly grounded, otherwise Mittens may have shorted out.

NellCote71 November 10, 2012 at 5:14 pm

With votes, of course.

Jukesgrrl November 11, 2012 at 3:26 am

"NellCote71 has not yet written a personal description." It's OK. That great photo is enough.

Guppy November 10, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Some people make history, others just watch it happen.

Guess which category Mitt's been in his whole life!

GeorgiaBurning November 11, 2012 at 2:54 am

How will this be retconned in 2016 for Santorum? Swap "Benghazi" for "Challenger"?

DemmeFatale November 11, 2012 at 11:39 am

If I may:
"Romney ends…" should be "Romney ended…"
Don't you just love the sound of "Romney ended?"
(I guess my freuden hasn't finished schadening!)

snowpointsecret November 10, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I'm quite sure what she said created a black hole. It's the dividing by zero of political hacks.

HarryButtle November 10, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Aside from that, Mrs Lincoln, how did you like the play?

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Other than that, Mrs. Kennedy, how did you like Dallas?

Katydid November 11, 2012 at 6:59 am

Too soon! Needz moar centuries.

Chichikovovich November 11, 2012 at 9:26 am

Aside from that, Calpurnia, how have the Ides of March been going?

ttommyunger November 10, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I was flipping around and saw this pee-crusted old twat bloviating on Faux about how it would be nice, for a change, for Barry to show some humility and offer a bit of compromise with the R's. My first thought is: he is the most powerful and important man in the entire fucking world, so just suck on that, Peggy. Second, the R's are and have always been totally inflexible on any tax increases on the wealthy-period. Third, why would anyone pay any attention to anything this worn-out old piece of ass had to say on any topic other than bedsores or hangover cures?

sewollef November 10, 2012 at 3:57 pm

….pee-crusted old twat …..

He he.

ttommyunger November 10, 2012 at 4:00 pm

If the panties fit, she's full of shit.

starfanglednut November 10, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I upfitsted as soon As I read that.

Callyson November 10, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Fourth, the national popular vote for the House actually went Democratic. Fifth, it is hard to compromise with people when they turn against policies they previously supported after a Democrat proposes them. Sixth, we have no incentive to cooperate with the GOP when they use that cooperation against us in future elections (just ask Max Cleland about that.)

/seventh, FFS.

ttommyunger November 10, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Max got fucked big-time: Nam, Hearings, campaigns and Commission Appointments. His nick-name should be “Lucky”.

BerkeleyBear November 10, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Seventh, Where the Fuck was Dame Dipshit when Obama all but bent himself to the right to try and secure just a couple of GOP votes and repeatedly got the Charlie Brown and the football treatment. Remember all the efforts at compromise in healthcare, for example, where GOP assholes like Alexander from Tennessee and Barasso from Wyoming got all the stupid amendments they wanted, then turned around and wouldn't support the bill in cloture votes? Or House leadership's two step of claiming to want to work on jobs then offering only denunciations of public work ideas like the capital investment bank even the Chamber of Commerce and AFL-CIO can both agree is an awesome idea?

Apparently gin blackouts can cover full presidential terms. Fucker.

ttommyunger November 10, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Reality has come a-calling…..just wait.

rickmaci November 10, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Nobody pays any attention to her. She went two off ramps past Relevant a few years ago.

ttommyunger November 10, 2012 at 8:30 pm

But they still book her!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

memzilla November 10, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I propose a New Drink, The Noonington:

Absinthe — for the memory erasing.
Angostura bitters — for the 2012 electoral reaming.
Saccharine — for empathy for the 47%.
and Cream — for the Reagan memories.

Mix together in a banned 32-oz Big Gulp cup, for freedom. Serve over ice, for the when-hell-freezes-over time that the Rethuglican party will have any relevance at all to the world of reality.

FNMA November 10, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Garnish with a handful of Vicodin, Xanax and Oxy.

valgal2342 November 12, 2012 at 1:16 am

For the Happy Holidays I suggest adding a splash of bourbon & a dash of nutmeg.

weejee November 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm

She and her best drinky buddy Diane Sawyer will just love those mem.

Boojum November 10, 2012 at 4:23 pm

With the rim of the cup dipped in crushed Vicodin.

BerkeleyBear November 10, 2012 at 4:31 pm

You sure she's not an oxycontin girl?

Chet Kincaid_ November 10, 2012 at 7:14 pm

For a delightful South Of The Border variation, in honor of the Mexicans Noonie-Tunes must now entice (renouncing all of the Great White Ideals she had shilled in her precious, sub-undergraduate prose stylings): Substitute 2 shots of Patrón and a dash of laudanum for the bitters and saccharin. The Tijuana Nooner!

memzilla November 10, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Eso es justo lo suficientemente loco como para trabajar!

thatsitfortheother1 November 10, 2012 at 5:53 pm

You said rim.

IdlesAtCranky November 11, 2012 at 6:19 am

Don't forget the whole-lemon garnish, for teh sucking.

Fred_Wertham_Jr November 10, 2012 at 3:56 pm

I thought she was killed with votes.

EDIT: Damn you memzilla. Fuck me for not seeing that.

HogeyeGrex November 10, 2012 at 3:56 pm

☣త☟☀♻♫✇©☕ ✪✣❀∞✑⚔⌛☸⌚☭ ♜☊✆☈☘‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽

Callyson November 10, 2012 at 4:05 pm

That makes more sense than anything Peggy Noonan has written.

HogeyeGrex November 10, 2012 at 4:20 pm

☺☠

glasspusher November 10, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Dingbats, all of them!

So Tired November 11, 2012 at 11:23 am

Wish I could read Brazillian.

JohnnyQuick November 10, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Peggington: Other than everything I was wrong about, I was right.

KKKarl: Our votes were suppressed!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what happens when your modern GOP deals with reality. Staring drunkenly at a page of "My Pet Goat" seems like better crisis management than this.

BerkeleyBear November 10, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Shit, staging an Arabian horse show in response to Katrina (the only thing Brownie was actually qualified to do) would have been better than Romney's team of parasitic insiders from Boston (and shouldn't it have been a clue that his entire brain trust was based in a town he'd never win and had no one who could relate to the GOP base?)

I wonder how many MBAs Romney had relative to the number of community activists and analytic wonks – I'm guessing the ratio is about 10000:1 (one intern who tried to complain ORCA needed more testing).

Living in Joy November 10, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Maybe she was roofied.

cheaphits November 10, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Why would anyone do that?

weejee November 10, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Like Willard does with the dogs?

HogeyeGrex November 10, 2012 at 4:21 pm

For the last thirty years?

TribecaMike November 10, 2012 at 5:18 pm

On a roof.

not that Dewey November 10, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Self-administered.

Lascauxcaveman November 10, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Speaking of drugs; now that my state has legalized marijuana, I might smoke some just for watching your avatar scrolling up and down.

CindynEncinitas November 12, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Didn't see that one coming, rasta boy…

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Remember, remember, the Fifth of November,
Just more BS from that twat….

Lot_49 November 10, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Surprising how one good speech–hell, one good metaphor ("thousand points of light")–can be parlayed into a whole career if you're better looking than Mrs General Petraeus and have an open mind about oral sex.

Chet Kincaid_ November 10, 2012 at 7:21 pm

I had not heard this about Noonie. Who did she supposedly blow? I will shamefully admit she had a certain Diane-on-Cheers annoying attractiveness as a young Reaganite Ninny.

trampndirtdown November 10, 2012 at 7:30 pm

According to a long past and now deleted Wonkette post. She was sexing up Boehner in a wine bar.

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 10:44 pm

I call shenanigans; as much as that weeping orange pansy drinks, he wouldn't be able to pop one if you shoved a bushel basket of v1agra directly into his shriveled old nutsack.

viennawoods13 November 10, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Ugh.

Lot_49 November 10, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Merely idle, sexist speculation, alas. The Fawn Halls and Sally Quinns of the world are sometimes only accidentally attractive. Saint Ronnie of Santa Barbara would never have cheated on Mommie, of course, but Jim Baker and Don Regan might have been a bit more inclined to “take their reards.”

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 9:14 pm

It wasn't her mind that was open about oral sex, but you're close geographically speaking.

Here's one more old groaner: Petraeus had said that she had the nicest smile he'd ever come across.

Orally speaking.

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 10:42 pm

"Remember, remember, the Fifth of November,
Just more BS from that twat…. "

I see no reason the GOP's treason should ever be forgot.

kittensdontlie November 10, 2012 at 3:59 pm

She is positive that her meal of crow, is the pan roasted squab with fig that she ordered.

IdlesAtCranky November 11, 2012 at 6:17 am

Served on fine China, with a nettle-flax napkin to wipe the spittle from her trembling lips.

kittensdontlie November 11, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Consoling herself with a glass of boxed wine that she imagines to be a chardonnay of an exclusive vintage.

Toomush_Infer November 10, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Hey, it's a Republifreeforall out there this week – Peggers did get it right about Bronco, though – he did look tired the whole season, kind of like he had to campaign AND be the President at the same time, I dunno….

BerkeleyBear November 10, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Just guessing, but you may be on to something. Probably didn't get much sleep thinking about the nightmarish legacy he'd leave if he actually lost to a robot, either.

bobbert November 10, 2012 at 6:56 pm

I would also speculate that it must be kind of depressing, for a guy who so obviously would like to achieve some kind of bipartisan progress, to have to realize, day after day, just how many intransigent assholes there are on the right, both politicians and among the general public.

During the campaign, hardly a comment thread went by without a Wonker asking the rhetorical "How the fuck can this be so close?". I imagine that the same thought crossed Bamz's mind at least occasionally.

memzilla November 10, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Shorter Noonington: Blather, Reince, and Defeat.

NellCote71 November 10, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Barry, barry good.

gullywompr November 10, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Tops.

smokefilledroommate November 10, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Mr Romney’s air of peaceful dynamism was the product of a false optimism

You know, there's Compositionism 101ism out there in the isms. Ism.

whiskeybaby November 10, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Also, too, what the fuck is an "air of peaceful dynamism?"

smokefilledroommate November 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm

You know, to be slightly dynamically peaceful. (kinda peaceful on so many levels?) Practically Buddah? Definitely not statically peaceful, whoever the fuck that is.

Sounds like she's consulting a true dinosaur dictionary..

NellCote71 November 10, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Maybe even one on paper, with those little indentions with the letters on them?

Lascauxcaveman November 10, 2012 at 9:14 pm

I'd forgotten about the little indentations!
I LOVE the little indentations!

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:56 am

Now I haz a sad. Kids today will never know that look and feel, will they? And the thin paper with the gold edges.

Dictionary.com is not the same.

bobbert November 10, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Statically peaceful == Breitbart.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Sure, if you can call blowing dust farts peaceful. But static, also.

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Is it the same as "temper"? Cuz that's what Her Imperial Highness, Queen Ann, said he has.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 9:22 pm

More like "distemper", like the roof dog got from being endlessly blown. Not as much fun as it sounds like.

miss_grundy November 10, 2012 at 5:58 pm

It's that perpetual smirk on the asshat's face. Like the one he had on election day when he decided to put up the inauguration web site before winning the election. Estupido comemierda!

NellCote71 November 11, 2012 at 1:57 am

I never thought I would hate a smirk more than Shrub's.

LetUsBray November 10, 2012 at 6:29 pm

I believe that's Nooningtonese for 'smug, self-satisfied obliviousness'.

BoatOfVelociraptors November 11, 2012 at 2:37 am

It is the sound of one hand clapping.

IdlesAtCranky November 11, 2012 at 6:14 am

"Peaceful Dynamism": that beatific head-swaying smile achieved with a perfectly balanced combo of morphine and speed, accented with the occasional whiff of ether.

CindynEncinitas November 12, 2012 at 3:03 pm

It's what you get when you're a robot and your settings are "non-confrontational" yet "in charge." Only you have been programmed by a bunch of wankers.

Toomush_Infer November 10, 2012 at 4:43 pm

That's a off course under the Americanism Major….

thatsitfortheother1 November 10, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Perhaps the Republican vibrations gave her an orgaism.

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 10:48 pm

"orgaism"

Did you mean to type "orgasm", as in climax, or "organism", as in yeast infection?

NellCote71 November 11, 2012 at 1:58 am

Origamism, where you fold her up like a paper airplane and toss her out the window.

BoatOfVelociraptors November 11, 2012 at 2:39 am

Originalism, with intent.

thatsitfortheother1 November 11, 2012 at 4:31 am

Thatsit, write a sentence that contains "ism."

"What's that on Noonan's chin, J-ism?"

CindynEncinitas November 12, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Her nose = hubris-m.

bobbert November 10, 2012 at 7:06 pm

This bitch is supposed to be able to write, isn't she? "False optimism" connotes "the misleading appearance of optimism, when there is no real optimism". I doubt that's what she meant. Hell, I don't even think it was the case. Rmoney's misplaced, or erroneous, or unsupported optimism was, IMO, real optimism.

I'm not even an English major, and I can tell that's wrong usage.

I won't even approach "peaceful dynamism".

Rotundo_ November 10, 2012 at 8:36 pm

"Peaceful dynamism" sounds like one of those phrases you say when you don't have anything else to say, sort of like "He looks so natural" at open casket visitations…

DustyBowlBlues November 10, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Apart from those points? I read that fucking blog post where she was ready to simply anoint the Republican and demand the little people bow down to him. Then she knew it all the time? This bitch should go back to writing crap books about the pope. The current one would probably be just her kind of anachronistic king of the world, but in sillier clothes than James Cameron at the Oscars.

And I hate the way she pouts as she talks, presumably to sound like an aristo.

And thanks for the weekend wonkette, dear leader.

proudgrampa November 10, 2012 at 4:07 pm

"Mr. Obama was perhaps not joyless but dogged, determined, and tired."

Well, who wouldn't be tired after 18 months of her drivel and nonsense.

Ms. Noonan is yet another person who has "driven past the last exit for relevance."

Francis Urquhart November 10, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Mr. Trump was not pleased by Mr. William's comment. He tweeted about it. That will show the lamestream media.

miss_grundy November 10, 2012 at 6:00 pm

NBC should fire him.

glasspusher November 10, 2012 at 10:33 pm

That irrelevance highway must be a traffic jam these days…

bikerlaureate November 10, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Yet she'll be showing up on the "major" networks, because she adds so much to the conversation.
Apparently the main requirement for a conservative pundit, to provide "balance", is that they don't stab themselves with the ink pens while on camera.

SigDeFlyinMonky November 10, 2012 at 4:07 pm

The dissonance is strong in this one.

Francis Urquhart November 10, 2012 at 4:24 pm

These are not the electoral predictions you're looking for.

proudgrampa November 10, 2012 at 4:51 pm

"The dissonance is strong in this one. "

And the cognition is weak…

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 5:04 pm

"The dissonance is strong in this one."
And the BAC high.

CindynEncinitas November 12, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Stand your ground, Pegs. Stand on the steps of your Tara and declare that someone, somewhere, someday will again give a shit what you say because you made them do it before, and tomorrow's another… well, and there's a couple of beefy prescriptions upstairs that will never let you down.

cheaphits November 10, 2012 at 4:09 pm

From Ms. Nooner –

"There is no denying the Republicans have the passion now, the enthusiasm. The Democrats do not." – 11/5/12

Prescience is not her strong suit, but she can sure lie her fat, scaby ass off..

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm

"Selective memory" is a Republican strong suit…

Boojum November 10, 2012 at 4:27 pm

So is scabies.

Goonemeritus November 10, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Like many she confused Sub-Psychotic rage for "passion and entusiasm

FlownOver November 10, 2012 at 6:51 pm

"Sub"? Too generous by half.

Toomush_Infer November 10, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Pretty sure that's flat, scabby ass, but I'm trying not to look at this too closely…

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Scabby from scabies?

thatsitfortheother1 November 10, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Meh. Repubitards can't even get the past right. They should give up on the future.

LibrarianX November 10, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Peggy is also working as the new Diva Plavalaguna. She is less charming and also less blue.

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 5:03 pm

But I suspect more tentacles.

dr_giraud November 10, 2012 at 4:11 pm

**BURP**

Sharkey November 10, 2012 at 7:24 pm

queeeef!

dyedwool November 11, 2012 at 2:05 pm

DERP.

CindynEncinitas November 12, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Releasing a little wave of existential nausea? A palliative! To the Oxy! Lawrence Welk is on at 6:00! I got this!

RelicOven November 10, 2012 at 4:11 pm

You know, I wasn't planning on drinking tonight…..

I'll be toasting to reality tonight folks.

AlaskaGrrl November 10, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Have another drink Peg. Have several. Go for a walk. Maybe you'll see another Mexican.

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Still proudly wearing his "I VOTED" sticker…

LibrarianX November 10, 2012 at 4:13 pm

One wonders, of course, why Peggy is paid for her doodlings.

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 5:02 pm

And why we are not.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Huffington Blood Libel

weejee November 10, 2012 at 4:13 pm

♪♫ I met a gin-soaked pundit queen from Midtown
She tried to have dear Ronbo canonized
Her logic makes me heave, her soul's much colder
Her columns make no sense, they blew my mind

She honky, yes a honky wingnut woman
She gives me, yeah she gives me the Wonkette tonk bluez ♫♪

glasspusher November 10, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Some Girls…

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Of course, now I'm picturing your cute li'l avatar playing and singing that.

weejee November 11, 2012 at 9:19 am

Thanks for that. I've tended to change avatars frequently during the campaign, but I'm getting fond of this guy. But I think he'd have to play the tune in open G tuning with a slide, since it is not easy to do the left hand fingering with a cloven hoof.

Francis Urquhart November 10, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I always hear Baroness Noonan of Reagan in the voice of the Dowager Countess from "Downton Abbey".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbpbpvMEe4w&fe

Lascauxcaveman November 10, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Ah, Maggie Smith. I'm gonna miss that old crone when she plays her final act. Probably pretty soon, too. She's getting up there.

BlueStateLibel November 10, 2012 at 4:22 pm

If you count lawn signs instead of electoral votes, Rmoney wins, so there.

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Especially if you consider the sheer acreage available for lawn signs in the red states, which I am assured in many a spittle-flecked wingnut screed means that they should be running the country, not those "small pockets of blue."

bobbert November 10, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Especially if you only count Rmoney lawn signs.

Lascauxcaveman November 10, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Oh! Thanks for reminding me; I've gotta grab one of those Rmoney signs off somebody's lawn for a souvenir. Hang it up in my shop right next to the Ross Perot, Nader and Bo Gritz signs.

BaldarTFlagass November 11, 2012 at 10:45 am

Good luck with that. All my neighbour's signs were gone by the time I got home from work on Wednesday afternoon.

mbatch November 11, 2012 at 8:29 am

My neighborhood was awash with the damn things, and we went heavily for the dems, not only Obama but Ed Perlmutter who took down certified old fart Joe Coors

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Bless her heart.

Goonemeritus November 10, 2012 at 4:26 pm

“We begin with the three words everyone writing about the election must say: Nobody knows anything. Everyone’s guessing”

The Obama Re-election team and Nate Silver would like to respectfully disagree.

LionHeartSoyDog November 11, 2012 at 8:35 pm

"Respectfully"?
i cannot respect them, but civilized behavior is always good.
If dialogue with fascists fails, what is to be done?

Best Wishes, with Respect.

Lot_49 November 10, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Nate Silver probably (95% certainty) said that pundits survive because there's no penalty for being wrong.

BerkeleyBear November 10, 2012 at 4:45 pm

John Stewart definitely did in regards to Dick Morris – as he called it, "a game of musical chairs where no one ever loses their chair".

Lot_49 November 10, 2012 at 7:40 pm

So sometimes things that are highly probable don't happen. If they had ten elections, Romney would've won one of them!

Close_Read November 10, 2012 at 4:28 pm

It's OK, Peggy, we're laughing WITH you.

NOT.

skmind November 10, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Quaint way of admitting that one was totally wrong. Not just wrong, but Dick Morris wrong.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Peggy? Ronny says it's bedtime for bozo.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Romney’s slipping into the presidency. He’s quietly rising, and he’s been rising for a while.

Sure. But then he fell very quickly.

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 4:53 pm

And very publicly.

Dudleydidwrong November 10, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Sounds like cooking a souffle in the percussion section of the band. Not. A. Good. Idea, Peggy. When they fire your ass as a "pundit" don't apply for a job as a TV cook.

Jerri November 10, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Sounds like he's been making boring Mormon love to the presidency.

Chet Kincaid_ November 10, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Sounds like Peggers has been grinding on his noodle since the Convention, trying to get a rise out of the both of them.

Misty Malarky November 10, 2012 at 4:41 pm

"Although I blissfully assumed our football team would win the big game, after the humiliating loss I loudly noonaned that I thought they were a buncha losers all along."

Blueb4sinrise November 10, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I was right about everything except the score and the stats!!!!!!!!!!!

bikerlaureate November 10, 2012 at 5:02 pm

I love it.
Her name really needs to be a verb now – "to completely mislead about one's own prior utterances", or something…

thatsitfortheother1 November 10, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Or a noun. A frothy mixture of lube and worthless shit.

not that Dewey November 10, 2012 at 6:38 pm

In other words, a synonyn for "to Rubin".

bobbert November 10, 2012 at 7:19 pm

That's a nice dissection. On Oct 31, she was still spouting the blather.

But, I think "to rubin" should refer to intentionally misleading your readers by "blatantly and counterfactually shilling" for a candidate. Thus, in the linked article, J-Rube is actually noonaning her readers about the fact that she was rubining them for months.

not that Dewey November 10, 2012 at 8:02 pm

I appreciate the clarification. So many fine shades of meaning required to fully describe the way disingenuous hacks lie to their readers.

Who knew?

sullivanst November 11, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Also, "to Romney"

proudgrampa November 10, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Your idea suggests LOTS of possibilities for adding political names to the lexicon:

romneyed – taking a position 180 degrees opposite of what you said 2 weeks ago

roved – using numbers that you made up to argue for a position which is demonstrably false

thatsitfortheother1 November 10, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Ryaned – missing in action.

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Ryan (verb) To smirk in a way who makes everybody who sees it want to punch your lights out.

sullivanst November 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

I thought that was definition #4 for "Romney (verb)"

FlownOver November 10, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Gingrich, v.i. – To praise effusively a person you had recently vilified.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Gingrich, adj. – So full of shit your eyes turn brown.

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Walsh (verb) To welsh on your child support payments

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Urk. My maiden name. But I see your point. Just one of the reasons I wanted to see Captain Tammy Duckworth punch his woman hating lights out (with votes!).

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Palin (verb) To blather incoherently out of an insatiable desire to be the center of attention

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Perfect, esp., see political context.

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Coulter (noun) A scrawny equine beast of indeterminate gender, with a long neck, bulging adam's apple, strawlike mane, and shrill whinny.

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Palins incessantly, but to reduced effect.

BenGleck November 11, 2012 at 2:05 pm

good coinage

BoroPrimorac November 11, 2012 at 3:40 pm

When your buddy assures you that your girlfriend isn't fucking anyone else and that she'll be back, you can tell him: "Don't Noonan me, bro."

LibrarianX November 10, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Good Vibrations, Peggy…?

Wile E. Quixote November 10, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Assume Noonington dead drunk.

Wadisay November 10, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Now that Pegs has declared the Romney campaign dead, the Mormon church can baptize it.

tbogg November 10, 2012 at 4:51 pm

This is another one of Peggy Noonan's "the ice cubes soaked up all of my vodka" moments, isn't it?

proudgrampa November 10, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Hey, that's happened to me!

glasspusher November 10, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Ice in vodka is for wimps, sez Pegs.

sati_demise November 11, 2012 at 12:12 am

her ice is made of vodka

coolhandnuke November 10, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Remember, remember the Fifth of November
the gin powered reason of thought
I see no reason
how this gin powered lesion
has ever a clear thought.

ahnc November 10, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Go easy on Peggy, she may be suffering from constipation. She looks that way, doesn't she?

thatsitfortheother1 November 10, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Hard to poop with a stick up your ass.

glasspusher November 10, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Full of shit?

ahnc November 10, 2012 at 7:17 pm

And gin.

ahnc November 10, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Yeah

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 11:05 pm

All the happy pills don't help, either.

Chet Kincaid_ November 10, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Your avatar answers the unthinkable question, what would the issue of Ann Coulter and Marilyn Manson look like? I will never forgive you for this.

ahnc November 11, 2012 at 5:34 am

Chet, is it too much? My last avatar was a blue gekko.

fartknocker November 10, 2012 at 4:55 pm

I await the thoughts of Saint Sarah of Dipshit in Wasilla to confirm this twat's theory.

miss_grundy November 10, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Lou Sarah was all "Romney is going to win" while the Ohio numbers came in. If she didn't look like a fool before, she sure as shootin' looked like one then. And she is looking more and more like a turkey-necked old lady.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:03 am

1) I find it difficult to believe that she didn't look like a fool before to anyone who wasn't one.
2) Look at a picture of her from 2008 with the professional grooming. Look at a recent Fux Spews appearance. My. God.

Jukesgrrl November 11, 2012 at 3:39 am

She would like you to believe she got that way through exercise. What she was exercising I will leave up to you to guess.

viennawoods13 November 11, 2012 at 11:18 am

Her right to party?

FlownOver November 10, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Mooselini is congenitally incapable of admitting anything she ever said was wrong. Her take will continue to be that fraud and deceit renders the election invalid.

(Wa)silly bunt.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:04 am

And by "fraud and deceit" she means "anything my toddler mind doesn't like.

cheetojeebus November 10, 2012 at 4:58 pm

shlobblemorfin ? Is that that nasty shit you get where the only hope is to cut off your doodad? if so, then perhaps it would be prudent not to explore hooking up with mistress Peggy when you find her in the hotel bar at 3 am?

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 9:43 pm

I'd likely miss her, I don't spend all that much time looking at the floor.

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 4:59 pm

"air of peaceful dynamism"

WTF does that even mean?
Truly, that woman's oh so genteel dealer has some wondrous product in his inventory.

An_Outhouse November 10, 2012 at 6:21 pm

i never studied poetry but there's probably a name for combining random words. she could write lyrics for a prog rock band.

FlownOver November 10, 2012 at 7:10 pm

YES LIBEL!

Chet Kincaid_ November 10, 2012 at 7:43 pm

A seasoned witch has rearranged her liver to the solid mental grace.

James Michael Curley November 10, 2012 at 8:14 pm

In a round about fashion.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:05 am

That explains Ms. Noonington to a T.

malsperanza November 10, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Normally it means "all potted up on weed." but since Romney is a Mormon and don't spark up a j, in this context it means "sociopathic fugue state."

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:07 am

Now sociopathic fugue state I can understand. I saw it every time some republican was on a verbal roll during the last two years.

Joshua Norton November 10, 2012 at 4:59 pm

I’d like you all to appreciate the pure Wingnuttery, untouched by logic, unfettered by sense, unbound by sanity. This is the raw stuff from which everything else in their universe is formed.

NellCote71 November 10, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Quartum theory?

thatsitfortheother1 November 10, 2012 at 5:27 pm

The Little Bang.

bobbert November 10, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Ylem.

Sharkey November 10, 2012 at 7:26 pm

The Dog Particle. Given birth by a bitch.

sudsmckenzie November 10, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Newell to the courtesy phone, Jim Newell to the courtesy phone.

glasspusher November 10, 2012 at 10:43 pm

The white phone, please…

fuflans November 11, 2012 at 12:14 pm

oh i wish i could give you more 'p's' for that.

TribecaMike November 10, 2012 at 5:03 pm

OT, but my internet connection finally returned for the first time since the blackout caused by Hurricane Sandy.

Anyway, just one question: Did they ever do that election everybody was going on and on about?

thatsitfortheother1 November 10, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Yes. Unbelievably, sanity won.

TribecaMike November 10, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Sweet patootie! Can't wait to tell Comrade Chavez the good news!

thatsitfortheother1 November 10, 2012 at 5:37 pm

You might mention it to the Chinese as well. Some big to do ongoing there. They need look no further than 1600 Pennsylvania Ave for a new leader.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Welcome back!

Blueb4sinrise November 10, 2012 at 5:47 pm

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shelwood46 November 10, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Congrats! I finally got my power back today. Verizon is supposed to be out tomorrow to restore my wifi and sanity. Remarkably, my Directv worked before anything else, even on generator.

James Michael Curley November 10, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Verizon FIOS came up and running as soon as the electricity returned. Having had it installed in the home and two years later in the office, the clowns still promote the bogus "It has an eight hour battery back up." when said battery backup does nothing unless there is power to run the router. And contrary to what they claim, as soon as the electricity went out the phone dropped also.

shelwood46 November 10, 2012 at 9:17 pm

We had two poles come down and rip our service right off the house. The Verizon line is in tiny pieces in the yard. They didn't even want to hear from us until the poles were back up (which happened today). Thankfully, they scheduled us to come out the very next day, although we figure they've worked their way down the list at this point post-storm. The biggest pains so far was the half a day spent rewiring the service to the house and the refilling the generator every few hours. So glad that's over.

Jukesgrrl November 11, 2012 at 3:42 am

Best of luck to you.

bobbert November 10, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Yeah. Romney in a landslide. Wait, no, "under a landslide", that was it.

Quite a few Wonkers were asking after you. Glad to see you back.

trampndirtdown November 10, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Glad you came through okay. According to Faux and the Gang Money boo hoo won by losing.

starfanglednut November 11, 2012 at 1:20 am

Heyyyy! How goes it?

Jukesgrrl November 11, 2012 at 3:42 am

Glad to have you back, TM. Are YOU still in one piece?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Acting like Peggy Noonan is no way to go through life.

glasspusher November 10, 2012 at 7:14 pm

She's definitely got two of three. Is she fat, too?

CrunchyKnee November 10, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I want what Pegginton is taking.

Dudleydidwrong November 10, 2012 at 5:13 pm

When I was young I used to think that a "nooner" was pretty damn good. Now that I'm old, I see that the best I can look forward to is a "noonan" and it isn't worth the effort it takes to unzip. Maybe Hazbeen Mittens can "quietly rise" to that, but I'll pass, thanks.

imissopus November 10, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Assume Peggy plastered.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Assume Noonan nonsensical.

Chet Kincaid_ November 10, 2012 at 7:45 pm

I applaud both of you for your strict adherence to form!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Assume Chet checking.

Wadisay November 10, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I love these posts about Republican soul-searching. Start by placing a hand on each buttock and extending outwards.

NellCote71 November 10, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Goatse libel.

horsedreamer_1 November 11, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I expect the GOP will be converting all official email addresses to the @GOATSE.cx extension, actually.

thatsitfortheother1 November 10, 2012 at 5:34 pm

I had assumed they would take a few days off for some introspection with regard to WTF ran over them this week. But it appears they've gone super-critical.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 5:42 pm

It's just a jump to the left.

FlownOver November 10, 2012 at 7:13 pm

And then a dump by the Right.

Chet Kincaid_ November 10, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Normally one would start with navel-gazing, but I guess it's best for them to go to the source.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 9:50 pm

'Taint a big distance to travel

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 11:08 pm

I see twat you did there.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:10 am

Navels are too clogged with lint and Crisco.

NellCote71 November 10, 2012 at 5:33 pm

From the column: " Officials knew the storm was coming and everyone knew it would be bad, but the people of the tristate area were not aware, until now, just how vulnerable to deep damage their physical system was. The people in charge of that system are the politicians. Mayor Bloomberg wanted to have the Marathon, to show New York’s spirit. In Staten Island last week they were bitterly calling it “the race through the ruins.” There is a disconnect."

Just substitute GOP in the appropriate places.

Chet Kincaid_ November 10, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Gawd, her prose has a mental age of 18-1/2!! I'll bet Malia and Sasha Obama already write better.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:11 am

In Mandarin, too.

(I read they have both been in a kickass foreign language program.)

Come here a minute November 10, 2012 at 5:43 pm

In fact, "shlobblemorfin hoowigah" is the most insightful comment one could make regarding Ms. Nooner's column.

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 11:09 pm

And considerably more insightful than the comments IN said column.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:13 am

And considerably more insightful than the column. There!

bflrtsplk November 10, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Hey Peggington! Leave some for the rest of us. It IS, you know, Saturday night!

FlownOver November 10, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Puff, puff, pass (out).

NellCote71 November 10, 2012 at 9:05 pm

From Colorado, are you?

SpiderCrab November 10, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Piggy was reaching for pundit immortality on November 5th, but all she achieved was a one way ticket to Cal Thomasville

Lascauxcaveman November 11, 2012 at 12:01 am

When print journalism dies, do you suppose it will take the current crop of pundits with them?

Please?

rocktonsam November 10, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Keen eye for the obvious this one, drinky drinky..

Ground Zero Mostel November 10, 2012 at 6:16 pm

The vibrations? If only there were some way ….?

I was not stunned or even particularly surprised by the election results (after all I have access to the Fivethirtyeight). But I am gobsmacked by the stupidity of the rethugagain pundits.

rocktonsam November 10, 2012 at 6:19 pm

may be she smokes pot, a lot of pot

Monsieur_Grumpe November 10, 2012 at 6:26 pm

She should stick to writing romance novels or Reagan's speeches… same thing I guess.

not that Dewey November 10, 2012 at 6:34 pm

"My fellow Americans. I never thought this would happen to me…"

bobbert November 10, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Made me laugh.

Chet Kincaid_ November 10, 2012 at 7:55 pm

"I sighed contentedly and feebly asked, 'where is that magnificent Electorate?' "

Negropolis November 10, 2012 at 11:15 pm

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this bodice!"

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 7:51 pm

"Mr. Reagan, tear off this bodice!"

Negropolis November 10, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Damn, you beat me to it.

FeloniousMonk November 10, 2012 at 6:29 pm

I'm prepared to take that last sentence as a bit of rueful irony, with the reader left to fill in "In other words, I was completely wrong." But then I've been walking around for four days smiling randomly at surly people, growling dogs, and assorted inanimate objects, so what do I know?

marinmaven November 10, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Before the election, I worried about election day being at the start of Mercury being in retrograde.

If you have not been influenced by being around new agey folks, Mercury in Retrograde is a time communications and plans go awry. "Mercury rules your intelligence, mind, memory and, all types of communication ranging from talking and texting to writing. It also rules your self-expression and communication style. In a more public sense, it rules commerce, computers, telephones, transportation and air travel."

I personally am not into astrology, but I normally use Mercury in Retrograde as the catchall excuse for bad days.

The last time an election landed during Mercury in Retrograde was the 2000 election, so I let that thought stew and torture me on election day because nervousness was making me crazy.

Peggy must to get into Astrology. She might find a new excuse. The Reagans had Jeanne Dixon, so it wouldn't be the first time republicans found solace in Astrology.

Guppy November 10, 2012 at 7:10 pm

This election has been going on for years, and Mercury goes retrograde every other month or so.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:16 am

I thought nature had a way of shutting that down?

James Michael Curley November 10, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Mercury in tuna also provides extended shelf life.

Dashboard Buddha November 10, 2012 at 8:46 pm

How does Uranus fit into Peggy's sky view?

cousinitt November 10, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Pegs, the "vibrations" you felt didn't come from the swelling of independents breaking for Romney; they were the last gasps of your Reagan bobble head to stimulate you to the ecstasy you have never known.

Protip: something battery powered, long and tapered, perhaps mahogany in color.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:19 am

Nah, the only vibrations she's interested in are that of her Osterizer blender whipping up another batch of drinks to be enjoyed with the little toothpicks through the valium tablets.

starfanglednut November 11, 2012 at 1:25 am

Those sound yummy! (I'm stressed)

docterry6973 November 10, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Being a Republican means never listening to anyone you would prefer to laugh at.

Blueb4sinrise November 10, 2012 at 7:01 pm

shlobblemorfin hoowigah

backwards, is

hagiwooh nifromelbbolhs

Don't say it out-loud.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Especially not 3 times. Also.

Sharkey November 10, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Habendah goobery shoompa globveries? Muwabwe Romney verly unkeptup Obama. Messico guxnews hantitty afrikkka shitbox. Whohoo makkey da happin rong alltim. Gaggagh dildonics merka wingy strokk. Rove v. Waid gon witta vagiwind nomo. Gurgletron dickdick howsabouta nyuknyuk boofregaard jira. Come come, here here!

Jameisen perciset yumyum purrpull sonshyne hunta tom booboo twenny furtween.

SigDeFlyinMonky November 11, 2012 at 12:28 am

That's my favorite passage from Finnegan's Wake!

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:28 am

That makes more sense than anything I've read on the rightard sites. Especially the solemn serious ones all about how to stockpile the ammo and canned goods and hide the wimmin and larvae while gazing steely-eyed over the amber waves of grain, waiting for the hordes of socialists.

All written by waddling doughy keyboard commandos who would squeal like girls (delightedly?) if General Obama ever actually hove into view accompanied by his terrifying Negro Cavalry Horde.

Sharkey November 11, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Gee, thanks!

ffredpalakon November 10, 2012 at 7:37 pm

"President Obama did not lose, he won." It's this kind of inside the beltway inside scoop that makes clear the need for a punditocracy.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:29 am

Sadly, she will need to re-run that one daily, for months, before it sinks in to a certain segment of the population.

Sharkey November 10, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Oh fuck it, here's the thing that gets me about these fucking pundits who convinced themselves Romney was going to win.

You buried your head in the sand, went along with what your friends/colleagues were saying, and when confronted with cold hard reality…

What do you do…

You lie AGAIN. You lie SOME MORE.

HOW LONG DO YOU THINK PEOPLE WILL KEEP PAYING ATTENTION?!?

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:30 am

Right up until the polls close?

Mittens Howell, III November 10, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Thank fuck! I read the first three lines and got saved by the pay wall.

awashinshite November 10, 2012 at 7:57 pm

On the morning after shrub's election, noonington-itis opened her column with these words," savor, savor"… . I guess one in the hand is worth two in the bush -er -got that backwards someone finish that for me, willya?Y'all are much funnier than me.
Your blog post stands in what I wonder Peggington, the river that has passed it by?

Dudleydidwrong November 11, 2012 at 10:07 am

Actually her words in the column when W was elected were "Savior, Savior," a reflection of her religious belief that The Shrub was to be the Second Coming, the savior of humankind. She was really drunk that morning, too, also.

awashinshite November 11, 2012 at 11:08 am

Mebbe I'm confusing my memories here, this: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB12246065191715458
is all I can find now – only one savor, not 2. I'm anal retentive enough to search her posts for the double savor – but I'd get pissed by proxy – never a good thing.

BloviateMe November 10, 2012 at 8:02 pm

I was informed by a couple of nutters at work that they were going to move to Texas, and succed [sic] from the union.

Perhaps, after a few highballs, the Pegster can help draft their new consitution. The noncommital approach to commitment should leave them some decent wiggle room to act like the menstuating teenagers they are behaving like, of late.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:35 am

"… menstuating teenagers …"

Oh, god, yes, now that you mention it. I thought I had blotted out of my memory completely those couple of years when my otherwise perfect (before and since) female spawn regularly spun her head around on her neck while shrieking "Well, just never mind!" Slam

My, my, my. I never realized just who was running the right wing empire…

docterry6973 November 10, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Noonan acknowledges that everything she wrote on November 5 was wrong. That does show a certain class not yet revealed by the likes of Rove, O'Reilly, and Hannity; it shows a certain reality-testing not yet revealed by anyone associated with the likes of Drudge, Erickson, or Carlson.

Having acknowledged that she was wrong, she might reflect on why she was wrong. Because she believed that Obama's was a second-rate mind? Because she felt it didn't matter what women and minorities felt?

Now that would be an interesting column.

Sharkey November 10, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Sure, that might happen in Bizzaro World. Somehow she thinks about what minorities and non-barren women feel, and comes to some kind of reasonable conclusion. And then realizes she is wrong.

Then again, Bizarro World Wall Street Journal probably never would have hired her in the first place.

kingcocrazy November 10, 2012 at 8:10 pm

You know, when your head is up your ass, the reasonable approach is to remove it and reassess the situation. Guess Noonan admires the view of her colon too much.

Butch_Wagstaff November 10, 2012 at 8:38 pm

"Guess Noonan admires the view of her colon too much."
And likes the smell of her own ass.

I'm glad that I've already had dinner & didn't have that thought before dinner.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 9:59 pm

This would go a long way in explaining her shitty outlook. And her breath, too.

chemfeast November 10, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Doesn't anyone here get her tongue in cheek admission she was 100% incorrect? The last line regarding "everything else stands" is a joke . . . she just got done saying she was 100% wrong. Get it?

pac November 10, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Peggers left out one small factoid.

Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves……..

finallyhappy November 10, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Well, certainly she was correct about herself- she knew nothing and still doesn't,

pac November 10, 2012 at 8:31 pm

May be a case of habeas mittens……

obfuscator2 November 10, 2012 at 8:39 pm

it's like she died in a choose your own adventure book and just decided to go back to the previous page and choose again.

GeneralLerong November 10, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Election 2012, the Gift That Keeps on Giving.

Bottles of champagne, that is. [Hic! Belch.]

SayItWithWookies November 10, 2012 at 8:50 pm

From there, the practical challenges. Some of these are referred to as "the woman problem" or "the Hispanic problem"—they presumably don't like the GOP. But maybe they think the GOP doesn't like them. What might be the reasons?

Yes, we must ask the women why it is that, when our party tells them that God wants them to make the most of their little rape-baby, and of this we are so certain that we would legislate their right to do what they want with their bodies out of existence, and that they should stop insinuating that this is somehow taking their rights away, and why don't they humble themselves before The LORD instead of acting like such willful strumpets, we might ask them what strange impulse drove them, entirely without provocation, to shove the letter opener up our ass.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:43 am

And let's legally force doctors to perform a medically unnecessary, unwanted by the female patient, procedure, while shrieking that Obamacare puts the gummint between patients and their doctors.

And the ungrateful strumpets retaliate by demanding free abortions and as many free birth control pills a day as they want to cover the multiple sex occurrences with every male they can find, because after all, they're women so they are whores!

Chow Yun Flat November 10, 2012 at 8:52 pm

From Peg's November 5 blog post:

I think they are and I think it’s this: a Romney win.

Got it all right other than that one little thing.

ganmerlad November 10, 2012 at 8:57 pm

It's hard to say it any better than "shlobblemorfin hoowigah."

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 12:44 am

That should be the default caption on just about any republican saying just about anything.

vulpes82 November 10, 2012 at 8:58 pm

What a time for Jim to have one of his Wonkette sabbaticals…

LibrarianX November 10, 2012 at 9:24 pm

"Nobody knows anything." Project much?

LibrarianX November 10, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Yabber Dabber Jibber Jabber. It's what I tell the cats.

finallyhappy November 10, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Whoa- the commenters at WSJ are stupid just the ones on yahoo and WaPo. Of course, we all knew that forced abortions were coming and that distributing American flags in public places will be banned but I didn't know everyone who voted for Obama is on welfare and mostly here illegally. Thank goodness for that Sarah person there who comments a lot -for her insight.

EdFlintstone November 10, 2012 at 9:41 pm

I finally realized that people such as Lady Noonington do indeed deserve a tax cut because they are snow job creators.

NellCote71 November 10, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Also qualify for disability checks, too. Also.

HedonismBot November 10, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Everything I said was right, except for the 99 percent of stuff that was wrong. Moving on…

DocChaos November 10, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Peggy Noonan:

"Whether I am right or wrong ,it does not matter, I will still be amply renumerated for my bloviations."

Negropolis November 10, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Totally OT, but I'm looking over at the political wire on the side of the page, and the first item is "Huntsman for Secretary of State?", a AP mental masturbation piece, and it's driving me up the wall. Just a few days ago the media was musing about perhaps making Mitt fuckin' Romney Treasurer. You know, Mitt "Let Detroit Go Bankrupt/Corporations are People/47%/I'm Unemployed" Romney. Yes, let's put that guy in control of the finances of the United States government.

Only after a Democrat stomps his opponent is there calls to appoint Republicans to his cabinet. So much for that "liberal" media. This party spent billions of dollars dollars trying to tear down this man professionally as well as personally, and nary and official word from the party to tone the shit down, and you think he should award them a position in the administration, why?

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Thank you. Oh, thank you.

Negropolis November 11, 2012 at 1:41 am

You know, I can tolerate the "Team of Rivals" bullshit IF the opposition is a loyal one. We don't have that, anymore. I don't think America still yet realizes how truly insane the Republicans are. We had sitting members of Congress calling on this president to produce his birth certificate. We had a sitting Republican US Senator accept the nomination for the Secretary of Commerce position, and then withdrew because the tea party was/is fucking crazy. We had a sitting member of Congress get up and shout "You Lie!" at the president during the State of the Union, something that the Congress formally invites the president to…a man that won re-election, BTW, because he was unopposed. Can you believe this?

No, this iteration of the Republican Party shouldn't even be allowed to gets its big toe back over the threshold. I want a loyal opposition; I really do.

This ain't it.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 2:15 am

And another thing. What is this bullshit about how Romney could be so useful with his business experience and aaa? a) He only has experience destroying businesses. b) Really? Business experience? CEO brilliance? Based on his incredibly badly run, horridly mismanaged, clown car cavalcade of a campaign?

I. don't. think. so.

I'll take the brilliant community organizer, thank you very much. After all, the country is a big community, not a fucking bottom line oriented corporation.

Jukesgrrl November 11, 2012 at 3:51 am

He wasted $25,000 on fireworks to celebrate his victory and paid for a President Elect Romney website. Someone would trust him with money?

And I certainly hope the President isn't planning to host a banquet in honor of Rmoney's "patriotism" as he did for Loser McCain.

Negropolis November 11, 2012 at 4:43 am

Speaking of the turnover, anyone have any good ideas for replacements at Treasury, Justice, and SoS? I keep hearing John Kerry for Sos, but I don't like that idea for a whole host of reasons.

thatsitfortheother1 November 11, 2012 at 4:48 am

I heard Susan Rice for SecState, which would work for me. Whoever gets DoJ, I hope he's got a bigger dick than Holder.

Sharkey November 11, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Hillz should be ALL of them. AT ONCE.

pdiddycornchips November 11, 2012 at 11:45 pm

We could do worse than Mohamed El Erian from PIMCO. He's the anti-Giethner. Wall Street would shit a brick.

Negropolis November 10, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Besides that, Our Lady of Perpetual Inebriation, how was the show?

Come on, you guys, she's declared herself right, retroactively. Ugh.

Mitt Romney is going to be with us, forever, in every stupid little phrase burrowed into our brains. It's like Bushishms, only far more insidious. He's competing with George Orwell, here.

malsperanza November 10, 2012 at 10:52 pm

I'm trying, but I can't remember a damn thing the man ever said. Either I'm drunk on euphoria and snarkenfreude or all of his word-sets cancelled each other out.

Negropolis November 10, 2012 at 11:21 pm

We should all be so lucky. Bush said shit because he was stupid. Romney said shit because he was mean. And, I'll remember both of them and their words for that.

NellCote71 November 10, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Word.

GeorgiaBurning November 11, 2012 at 3:03 am

Romney will go into the remainder bin like all those business books written by corporate twits. Five years after the fact few remember what they said, and their one-time fanboys deny they ever cared.

Negropolis November 11, 2012 at 4:35 am

I tell you, again, I will never forget the term "resigned retroactively". Never. You don't forget that kind of say-anything hubris. Just typing it leaves me breathless and dizzy. He really thought that we were that stupid.

FlownOver November 11, 2012 at 12:30 pm

By the end of the year you could ask the average American "Who said 'Corporations are people, my friend" and '47%'?," and maybe a bare majority will be able to get it right.

I'll bet $10,000 on it.

sullivanst November 11, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Mitt Romney is going to be with us, forever, in every stupid little phrase burrowed into our brains.

All of them, Katie?

Negropolis November 10, 2012 at 11:05 pm

You know that Mexican Peggy saw? Yeah, she voted for Obama.

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 11:16 pm

"Let the record show that the witness made the 'drinky-drinky' motion"
– Blue-haired lawyer on The Simpsons

AlterNewt November 11, 2012 at 12:18 am

Win.

BZ1 November 10, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Nobody Noonan knows anything nothing.

alteredimages November 11, 2012 at 12:28 am

She mistook the drowsiness eye symbol for a wink.

not that Dewey November 11, 2012 at 12:48 am

"The most qualified? No. I think they went for this, excuse me, political bullshit about narratives…Every time the Republicans do that, because that's not where they live and that's not what they're good at, they blow it."

-Peggy Noonan, 2008

not that Dewey November 11, 2012 at 12:53 am

Oh, and which Cabinet post did John Kerry hold in the Bush Administration?

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 2:18 am

clap clap

BadKitty904 November 11, 2012 at 10:52 am

Hear, hear!

viennawoods13 November 11, 2012 at 11:24 am

It's that West Wing deal, where Alan Alda ended up Sec of State because he was an honourable, intelligent opponent. Oh, that's why it won't work with Romney.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 1:10 am

Every time I see "Peggy" in these comments, I think Peggy Bundy. Then I realize no, no, Peggy Noonan, then I think eh, potato, potahto, vodka, Noonan.

ibwilliamsi November 11, 2012 at 1:17 am

Apparently Peg likes her crow well done.

Negropolis November 11, 2012 at 1:59 am

The lady doth write too much, methinks.

Seriously, Peggs, put down the pen. But, if you must, take your brown bag "lunch" through Central Park and observe the youth in subtle play, or write some protest piece on the newest exhibit at MOMA or some shit. Your lazy, creative, and faux elegant energies are needed elsewhere.

NellCote71 November 11, 2012 at 2:09 am

Is "faux elegant energy" equivalent to "peaceful dynamism?"

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 2:18 am

I think it means "passed out drunk while still swayingly upright." Hic!

Negropolis November 11, 2012 at 4:28 am

Yes. lol

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 2:16 am

How did that ad go? Pehhggy?

BitterKlingon November 11, 2012 at 2:43 am

"I do not know what the Democratic Party spent, in toto, on the 2004 election, but what they seem to have gotten for it is Barack Obama. Let us savor." –Nooners, Nov. 4, 2004.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB12246065191715458

Negropolis November 11, 2012 at 4:30 am

NICE find.

Take it all in, Peggy. 'Caues you got four more years to let your lecherous, gin-addled mind wander over his presidential body of work, if you know what I mean.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 11:42 am

On behalf of the President, let me just say, I am creeped out.

Exhausted66 November 11, 2012 at 3:03 am

"buoyed some conservatives "

OOOH OOOH, Which ones?

BenGleck November 11, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Oh, now, she didn't mean TIED to a buoy.

BathroomGoblin November 11, 2012 at 3:17 am

Skeezy. Both Rmoney and Noonington had to drag out some ghoulish Challenger disaster artifact to try to make themselves seem human.

bflrtsplk November 11, 2012 at 8:06 am

Slightly OT, but Ted Nugent spewed a new post-election rant that is mighty special, mighty special indeed for all you Obama and Hillary hatin` truck nutterz out there.

MLite November 11, 2012 at 9:16 am

Valium, prozac, and a nice rosé.

valmach November 11, 2012 at 9:46 am

someone ought to take Noo to the Zoo, guide her to the lion exhibit and push

christianmuslin November 11, 2012 at 9:52 am

She needs to go visit a Mexican or two, a woman or two, and a vibrator or two, the last one both at the same time!

BarackMyWorld November 11, 2012 at 10:22 am

Did she actually say "Apart from those points, everything in my blog post of Nov. 5 stands."?

(Can't read. Pay wall.)

Jesus.

not that Dewey November 11, 2012 at 11:21 am

#notintendedtobeanaccurateanalysis

BadKitty904 November 11, 2012 at 10:54 am

Why is this woman, in any way, relevant?

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 11:43 am

Because shlobblemorfin hoowigah, that's why.

Sharkey November 11, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Hitler?

BadKitty904 November 11, 2012 at 10:56 am

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY to all our Wonketeers who have served our nation!!! And many thanks to their families, who supported them!

pdiddycornchips November 11, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Yes! Happy Veterans Day and blessings to all who have served.

DesertDingo November 11, 2012 at 12:10 pm

For the record, I read the whole Peggy Noonan WSJ commentary. Surely that's worth an upfist.

NellCote71 November 11, 2012 at 10:18 pm

And about as painful. I read it, too, before the firewall mysteriously went up. She sounds like a literate Sarah Palin. And neither make any sense.

Incitefully_Joe November 11, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Honestly, I don't think anyone here really understands what she means when she says that all the things she said on Nov 5th still stands. Here are some helpful excerpts of that column, that will perhaps clarify things:

[Romney]’s quietly rising, and he’s been rising for a while.

[Romney] looks happy and grateful. His closing speech has been[...] sweetly patriotic. His closing ads [...]—the one about what’s going on at the rallies is moving.

All the vibrations are right

[Mitt] looked like someone who’d just seen good internals.

[Obama] is a finely tuned political instrument

This is not a man who feels himself on the verge of a grand victory. His campaign doesn’t seem president-sized. It is small and sad and lost, driven by formidable will and zero joy.

When Romney, afterward, was shown the flag, he touched it, and an electric jolt went up his arm. It’s a nice story.

You guys, That November 5th column was LITERALLY just a transcript of Dame Peggy Noonington's electoral sex-fantasies. You're welcome for the mental image, everyone!

Mojopo November 11, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I, on the other hand (pun intended), have been fingering myself to essay after essay analyzing the corpse of Romney's career. There has been such a wealth of blame to enjoy. I'm sore, tired and happy.

not that Dewey November 11, 2012 at 3:28 pm

"good internals" = colonscopy, right?

Jennyjen798 November 11, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Rofl, oh we were organizing quietly, compared to you know prancing around with teabags and rifles. Let's not forget that whole Occupy movement that pretty much brought the 99% problems right out in front, which was a stark in your face reminder of WHY Romney was a big bag of rancid cum.

Turns out we're "energetic" lazy welfare queens, who vote! And we're stealing your non crazy voters too!

Mojopo November 11, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Peggington Noonington was on Face The Nation this morning. She said that the Petraeus resignation was "mysterious" and a little too "Homeland" for her liking. She was a complete train-wreck, and bitch was given the last word on the panel.

finallyhappy November 11, 2012 at 2:14 pm

My personal take on almost all TV and printed media is " WHORES". It is all about money- not honesty, credibility, and looks like not much knowledge anymore. Am I wrong? Well, my opinion is free- so unlike Richard Cohen, Lady noonington, Krautie, Georgie Will and so many others- I'm not getting anything for it. Of course the one guy who deserves his cash is NATE!!!

unclejeems November 11, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I just read her Monday column. She is pinning her hopes on "something." Something old is roaring back. Something is moving among evangelicals. Something is being cooked up. Something, something, something. I guess you couldn't expect much better from the "thousand points of light" speech writer, but really, why she's so sought after a some kind of grand augur to the right, I have no idea.

Mojopo November 11, 2012 at 4:46 pm

I think she sits down and types, "In order to succeed, the United States must something something for the good of all citizens." Spends hours musing on the something-something part. Every day.

pdiddycornchips November 11, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Look, Republicans don't have a lot of options. If you want fire breathing wingnuttery, you call Bachmann, if you want a Republican woman who isn't completely bonkers even if she is always wrong, you book Noonan. If you want tits, you call Palin.

BenGleck November 11, 2012 at 2:13 pm

A thousand points of drunk and stupid.

not that Dewey November 11, 2012 at 3:29 pm

We shouldn't have to tolerate this kind of boorishness in our public discourse.

FishingCFP November 11, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I saw a photo in Facebook of the 200 or so Employees in the Romney for President, Inc. as taken at the Republican Convention, and they are 98 to 99% all White Caucasion, NO diversity. If you would like to see that photo, go to Facebook and type in the name of their JEANNIE-ASS Florida Director Molly Donlin, and you will see. To wonder why non-Caucasian voters steered away from a Mittens vote.

dawgeral November 11, 2012 at 5:48 pm

"Waiter – I know you'll think me quite the loon. but my Cuntington Wellington just rose up off my plate…and distinctly spoke-in-tongues at me. I think I should like the check. Also – do you know if it's still raining blue snakes out there? Thank you, I'm sure."

JimmyPete November 11, 2012 at 8:57 pm

That bitch is crazy.

vaginista November 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

tossed word salad with a psilocybin dressing

FishingCFP November 11, 2012 at 11:39 pm

As Steely Dan once sang, "Peg it will come back to you, Peg it will come back to you, then the shutter falls, you see it all in 3-D"

pdiddycornchips November 11, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Or it could be the Cuervo Gold and the fine Columbian.

YankeeMacDoodle November 12, 2012 at 12:36 am

Ha Ha–this is what happened to Mitt Romney in those last moments "in the bunker" (many thanks to A. Hitler and all the National Socialist gang for their able portrayals of Mittens & his hacks in this laff-a-minute "Downfall" parody!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oC64lwwggwM

viennawoods13 November 12, 2012 at 6:53 am

Yes, that was Facebook-posting-worthy. Thank you!

W88 November 12, 2012 at 4:13 am

Looks like the Noonan Crotch Tingle Yard Sign Indicator is a non-starter after all.

Smithboy November 12, 2012 at 7:03 am

Still waiting for Noon' to say something relevant. She is the my party right or wrong variety of talking heads class.

gurukalehuru November 12, 2012 at 8:28 am

I'm sure that somewhere between half a dozen and two gazillion Wonketteers have already said this, but:
Other than the fact that I was absolutely, totally, 180 degrees backassward wrong about everything, I was right.

DahBoner November 12, 2012 at 9:26 am

He appeared to receive fewer votes than John McCain

Let me guess.

This is…good news for John McCain????

elgin_pelican November 12, 2012 at 9:43 am

"I don't want to hear it! You HAVE TO KISS Aunt Peggy on the cheek for that Hardy Boys book!"

lulzmonger November 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

A blah POTUS? Same sex marriage? Legal pot?

IT'S MORNING IN DYSTOPIA!

red_kira November 13, 2012 at 5:53 pm

From her blog post of the 5th: "While everyone is looking at the polls and the storm, Romney’s slipping into the presidency. He’s quietly rising, and he’s been rising for a while."

But, but, but, your blog post STANDS?!!??!??!… but… uhhhmmmm….. (low drooling)….. OMG! It's like that old episode of "Star Trek," where Spock goes all logical, and Kirk doesn't, and some poor alien's head essplodes. With brain splatter. Or maybe not. I don't remember. I just know IT HURTS NOW.

Geminisunmars November 10, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Well, now that you have gotten your Kenyan/Muslin overlord elected, I'm sure he will get it for you.

NellCote71 November 10, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Where's my free phone?

thatsitfortheother1 November 10, 2012 at 5:39 pm

In your mouth?

NellCote71 November 11, 2012 at 1:44 am

?

NellCote71 November 11, 2012 at 1:50 am

Brain bleach, stat. But funny, all the same.

NellCote71 November 11, 2012 at 1:55 am

And the indents, like trees in Michigan, were just the right size for your fingers. Our Webster's had a guide to proofreader's marks in the front. No one told me that the fact I was fascinated by the hash marks and delete signs were indications of a future life as a lowly paid editor/writer.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2012 at 2:07 am

I'll bet the Democratic Party would be happy to wander around the yard sale for a while before finally offering to take a case or two for a nickel apiece.

AlterNewt November 11, 2012 at 3:28 am

ISWYDT

thatsitfortheother1 November 11, 2012 at 4:18 am

NO FAIR! You changed your ave from the guy with a rather full mouth on Exile, to a young K Richard. Resulting in I haz minus snark points.

Jus_Wonderin November 11, 2012 at 6:13 am

I'd just replace WE with his base.

Chichikovovich November 11, 2012 at 9:55 am

Not to mention "shake the Etch-A-Sketch", [variations on:] "Obama did what I told him to on Detroit", "my job is not to worry about those people, I'll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives", "nobody ever asked for my birth certificate", "you waited two weeks to call it an act of terror", "Planned Parenthood – we'll get rid of that", "I'll never apologize for America" + "apology tour", " It's disgraceful that the Obama administration's first response was not to condemn attacks on our diplomatic missions, but to sympathize with those who waged the attacks.", "Corporations are people, my friend," "And had [my father] been born of Mexican parents, I'd have a better shot at winning this. … I mean, I say that jokingly, but it would be helpful to be Latino.", "middle income is $200,000 to $250,000 and less.", "I like being able to fire people", "[I don't follow NASCAR] as closely as some of the most ardent fans. But I have some great friends that are NASCAR team owners."…

I could go on all day.

HarryButtle November 11, 2012 at 10:58 am

I heard the Benghazi thing may be a problem for Rice (not that in any rational world it should be, just that in the real world today it will be).

sullivanst November 11, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Also, Independents.

sullivanst November 11, 2012 at 8:57 pm

"I'll take a lot of credit for that", "[M]y job is not to worry about those people", "And we kick the ball down the field and hope that ultimately, somehow, something will happen and resolve", "I'm running for office, for Pete's sake"

Negropolis November 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

I really hate to see her go, but if her fans can will it, she's doing it to position herself for the presidency, again.

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