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Broward County's new social studies textbookToday’s lesson in religious tolerance comes to us from Florida, where we are talking about Islam, so, just a heads up, today’s lesson is going to be awful.

The request was to close Broward County schools for two Muslim holidays, the end of Ramadan and the end of Hajj, for the same reason that the schools close for Christian and Jewish holidays: Thousands of students aren’t in school on those days, to observe them. That does not sound so crazy, right? Especially considering there are 18,000 Muslim students — 7 percent of the student population— that it could affect?

No! You are wrong! Turns out, we need the 82d Airborne to drop into South Florida RIGHT NOW, because it has been overrun by the Taliban.

Tell us what the terrorists were asking for, HuffPo:

“We’re not asking them to close the whole district down, but at least give the kids off,” CAIR Executive Director Nezar Hamze told The Huffington Post, noting he has received hundreds of complaints from Muslim parents whose children miss a day of school to observe the holidays…

The school district cites high absenteeism, not religious observances, as the reason it closes on Christian and Jewish holidays.

Got it. So, even if it doesn’t end up being something the school district decides to do, it’s not a crazy thing to ask about, right?

“Muslim people are beautiful people, but their religion, which is Islam, is not good. It’s very violent and evil,” argued the Rev. O’Neal Dozier of the Worldwide Christian Center in Pompano Beach.


Ah. Well, that is slightly less accepting than would seem reasonable. At least everyone else was being cool, right?

Outside the meeting, protestors carried signs reading “Protect Our Children No Holiday For Perverted Cult” and “Teach Math Not Sharia.”

Florida! Color us shocked! The state that didn’t finish counting Tuesday’s presidential votes until Sunday is not really doing that well culturally?

Also, for those of you wondering about the charming pastor who said Muslims suck: He’s the same guy who said gay people were so disgusting they “make God want to vomit,” a repulsive statement for which Rick Santorum made him honorary chairman of his Florida campaign.

So we’ve got the bigoted minister, “sharia,” and “evil.” All that we seem to be missing here is “jihad” and “terrorism.” Anyone?

“The group promoting and asking for this is associated with terrorism,” charged Joe Kaufman, chairman of Coral Springs-based Americans Against Hate.

There it is!

Another opponent accused the Florida chapter of the Council on American Islamic Relations of “cultural jihad.”

Hooray! We’ve hit all the bases! For the children.

(Hamze has “caused problems” with his crazy “requests for tolerance” before — when he confronted Rep. Allen West (R-Gun) about his treatment of Muslims, West responded with “You attacked us.”)

And yes, in case you are wondering, Joe Kaufman and Hamze have met before too: When Hamze tried to join the Broward Republican Party, Kaufman blocked his membership with a weird campaign so hateful, The Daily Show didn’t really even have to try when they made him look like an insane person. Then, obviously, Kaufman ran for Congress.

You might be compelled to think it’s not the entire state that responds to “Let’s give children a day off from school” by saying “You are evil and also a terrorist.” Isn’t there a liberal chunk of Florida, you might ask?

Yes! There is! This is what happens in the liberal chunk of Florida. [HuffPo]

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