FROTHING AT THE MOUTH  10:00 am November 10, 2012

Rick Santorum Will Gladly Compromise With Democrats To Ruin Social Security For You

by Kris E. Benson

santorumblowjobOh finally, Rick Santorum has written a column on the Hill, weighing in on the election and What It Means! And What It Means is that the GOP will FINALLY, after all this time, cooperate with President Obama on cutting Social Security and privatizing Medicare. So the fact that Americans went to the polls and elected a lesbian, a bisexual atheist, a female Asian Buddhist, and a socialist, in addition to decriminalizing weed, legalizing gay marriage, and voting for tax increases means nothing. Well that’s not true; it means that they want Marco Rubio to charlar con ustedes about why you should retire at age 70 and buy health insurance on the open market.

This election was long, hard-fought and often divisive. Millions of Americans were heavily invested in the outcome, and for every American who today celebrates Obama’s victory, another is left disappointed in Mitt Romney’s loss. No doubt many are deeply discouraged. But now is not the time to give up on the issues we hold dear. We will continue to challenge the president to represent all Americans and to provide solutions to the nation’s problems. We will continue to stand strong for America’s first freedoms: family, opportunity, limited government and our national security.

First, who is this “we” that he refers to? Did Santorum get elected to something somewhere? No, he did not. So “we” will not be doing anything; John Boehner and Paul Ryan will. Also, did you know that our first freedoms are “family, opportunity, limited government, and national security?” We didn’t, because this list appears nowhere in the Constitution or Bill of Rights, unless it somehow means the same thing as “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” which it doesn’t. And if someone could explain to us how “family” and “national security” is a type of “first freedom,” that would be great. But if you thought for a minute that this election has led Rick Santorum to re-think any of the GOP’s talking points, you would be wrong.

We believe strongly that now is not the time for significant tax increases on families, manufacturers, entrepreneurs and other job creators. Nor is it the time to severely cut back on our commitment to a strong defense. [...] Instead, we encourage the president and Congress to work together in the coming days and weeks to reform entitlements. If we want our children’s future to be better than our own, we need principled leadership to address these pressing fiscal issues. Whatever recovery we might be experiencing would immediately stall, and job losses and economic misery for middle-income families would result. And this largely self-inflicted recession would have ramifications throughout the world.

In other words, “we” will work together (again, not sure who this “we” is, again, given that Rick Santorum does not hold any elected office, but whatever) to prevent the fiscal cliff. But given that “we” aren’t going to let Obama raise taxes on rich people, “we” will happily cooperate with him if he wants to raise the age of retirement. Sorry, waitress moms, guess you’ll have to keep carrying those dishes around until you’re 70 or something, and THEN you can retire. It’s only fair — you wouldn’t want the Job Creators to get angry, would you? Of course you wouldn’t!

[The Hill]

 
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{ 194 comments }

ManchuCandidate November 10, 2012 at 10:04 am

US Amercia continues to be reminded that there is no stain remover invented that can clean Santorum off the political stage.

YerMa November 10, 2012 at 10:30 am

But we can keep him irrelevant.

With votes!

memzilla November 10, 2012 at 10:08 am

There are many different types of sand. There's the soft white talcum-y sand of the Bahamas, the brown grainy sand of the Jersey Shore, the fluffier orange-y sand of Libya, and the coarse black sand of Iwo Jima.

Whichever is the sand that Rick Santorum and the rest of the Rethuglicans have, like ostriches, freely chosen to bury their collective heads in, I say, in the spirit of compromise, is exactly the sand we would like to see them go pound.

For America. For Freedom.

Blueb4sinrise November 10, 2012 at 10:55 am

Beautiful [snif]

starfanglednut November 10, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Sigh…Pure poetry.

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 10:58 am

So let it be written. So let it be done.

Nothingisamiss November 11, 2012 at 11:07 pm

One tear is glistening in my right eye.

You, sir or madam, are an oratorical hero.

memzilla November 11, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Thank you. I have sworn to use my powers only for good.

viennawoods13 November 10, 2012 at 10:11 am

Well, if the Republicans decide to keep shooting themselves in the foot, or balls, or whatever, and move further right, since obviously THAT'S why they lost the election, he can run again in 2016, be nominated, and ensure a Democratic victory. Keep up the good work, Ricky!

Negropolis November 11, 2012 at 1:14 am

It's scary to think about how much space they can carve out on the right, because debating the definition of rape is pretty damned scary-far, to me.

Schmannnity November 10, 2012 at 10:12 am

Fun factoid for Republicans thinking about Marco Rubio: Mitt did not carry Miami-Dade Cuban voters.

DemmeFatale November 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

And when will these idiots learn that CUBANS are different from Central and South Americans!
Jeez!
(Oh well, I guess beggars can't be choosers.)

FNMA November 10, 2012 at 10:45 am

They're different? How can that be? They all speak Mexican, don't they?

rickmaci November 10, 2012 at 10:54 am

Pronounced "mezz-cun" in Wingtardish.

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 11:10 am

Please. Mexican? That is so twentieth century. To move with the times, republicans must realize that male people with names ending in -io or -ez speak "Hispanico." Females speak "Hispanica."

Once the republicans* demonstrate to this homogeneous demographic that they are conversant with these fine cultural details, their success will be assured.

I'll capitalize "republicans" when they add "ic" to "Democrat" Party.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 11:20 am

The republican party owns the copyright on "ic", except when you're referring to them it's usually thought of as "ick".

miss_grundy November 10, 2012 at 1:09 pm

True. Just ask Rush Limbaugh.

MilwaukeeKent November 10, 2012 at 11:39 am

Ah, Cuban-born Cuban-Americans went for Romney, American-born Cuban-Americans, the majority now, voted for Obama. I predict the GOP will call for dropping all sanctions on Cuba once this fact sinks in. Other facts, like most Latinos have no particular use or affection for Cubans, that may take another election cycle to soak in. But go ahead GOP, Rubio-Cruz in 2016!

BoroPrimorac November 10, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Romney got the Cubans who obsess over Castro and Obama got the ones who don't give a shit about the cold war anymore. It doesn't matter if they came here in the sixties, were born here or came over on a raft two years ago.

Redgyal November 10, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Sure, but how does the Pitbull feel about that?

BoroPrimorac November 10, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Obama did better this time around in Miami-Dade than he did in 08.

RelicOven November 10, 2012 at 10:13 am

Rick Santorum ladies and gentlemen! He'll be here all week, try the veal!

ManchuCandidate November 10, 2012 at 10:21 am

However, avoid Rick's secret sauce at all costs.

weejee November 10, 2012 at 10:23 am

Mutton would be too cannibalistic for the sheeple?

RelicOven November 10, 2012 at 11:21 am

No see, they only eat the nonbelievers. They aren't real people….er sheeple.

iburl November 10, 2012 at 10:14 am

Ricky, lose that number, you want to call somebody else.

FlownOver November 10, 2012 at 11:44 am

Allow me to suggest "Rachel at Card Services." If you've lost her number, just stand by – she'll call you.

Schmannnity November 10, 2012 at 10:15 am

Further fun factoid from bitter, thin-lipped Laura Ingraham yesterday: Mitt got fewer votes from Mormons than McCain.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

Giving further credence to the old saying "Takes one to know one", and they know him well enough.

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 11:00 am

Truly. Mormons are weird, but not (necessarily) crazy.

rickmaci November 10, 2012 at 11:03 am

Among my LDS acquaintances a large percentage, maybe 1/3, are more in the blue dog to solid blue Dems group. In other words, like other Christians, it's not their faith that makes some of them mindless morons.

Callyson November 10, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I have a cousin who is Mormon–she's on the conservative side but not a full blown wingnut hater–and she was for Huntsman in the primary. When we talked last December and she told me that, she said "I like Romney, I do…" and let her voice trail off.

I did not press the point, but I could tell she was dreading the prospect that he would win. Guess she wasn't alone.

Schmannnity November 10, 2012 at 10:16 am

Rick was right, Mitt was a terrible candidate.

ManchuCandidate November 10, 2012 at 10:19 am

Rick won't ever admit he's worse though.

weejee November 10, 2012 at 10:22 am

Too robotic?

JustPixelz November 10, 2012 at 10:22 am

But in the end he turned out to be the perfect candidate.

ManchuCandidate November 10, 2012 at 10:24 am

For Obama to beat.

It still makes me laugh that the GOPer's best choice (to win) was Huntsman and they completely shit all over him.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 10:40 am

Huntsman was the lone Repub that I could even think of voting for because he was the only one that could speak in complete sentences. Well, yeah, truth is I might have done that if there was no one else on the ticket. Might. Just saying…

PsycWench November 10, 2012 at 10:25 am

I would have loved Rick to have been the candidate so that the conservative wing could have seen just how well their message goes over with America. But I'll settle for them seeing how well their message went over with other Republicans.

NDeeeZ November 10, 2012 at 10:39 am

They'd just blame the Google association thingy, and reach even further right next time.
NOT getting the point seems to be their modus operandi nowadays…

YerMa November 10, 2012 at 10:16 am

Keep talking, idiots. It's gone from terrifying to delicious this time.

Mumbletypeg November 10, 2012 at 10:17 am

Sounds like Rick is having flashbacks from this time last year.. The wet dream he woke from to pen this piece featured vestigial voices chanting "We! HATE! The Ninety-Nine Per-CENT!"

malsperanza November 10, 2012 at 10:17 am

for every American who today celebrates Obama’s victory, another is left disappointed in Mitt Romney’s loss

Give or take 3 million people.

With any luck Santorum will have a job soon: as the next chairman of the GOP campaign committee. Yep, that should do it nicely.

JustPixelz November 10, 2012 at 10:21 am

Math is hard for GO-Pee'ers.

viennawoods13 November 10, 2012 at 10:43 am

Yeah, why do they act like 3 million is a small number?

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 11:01 am

Because *they* lost.

HateMachine November 10, 2012 at 11:38 am

The point isn't even whether or not 3 million is a small number (it isn't). The point is that the number isn't going to get smaller.

Unless, I mean, they drastically update their platform. Which they won't.

VodkaGoGo November 10, 2012 at 12:24 pm

I fully expect the Santorum to run again in 2016. He came close enough to Mitt that he will think it's his turn to come out on top.

Abernathy November 10, 2012 at 12:50 pm

I believe santorum always rises to the top.

Veritas78 November 10, 2012 at 11:55 pm

From the bottom.

JustPixelz November 10, 2012 at 10:20 am

"Millions of Americans were heavily invested in the outcome,…"

None more so than Karl Rove's donors.

YerMa November 10, 2012 at 10:23 am

"Millions of American dollars…" he meant.

From like a dozen people.

Schmannnity November 10, 2012 at 10:23 am

When does Rove wake up with Rafalca's head in his bed?

memzilla November 10, 2012 at 11:41 am

Thank you for that image!

OneDollarJuana November 10, 2012 at 12:07 pm

To Rove and his ilk dollars are the best Americans. That's why he and his ilk believe that the mega corporations are people, my friend. In fact, they are better than people, at least regular people.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Money is people too, my friends.

PsycWench November 10, 2012 at 10:20 am

Who is this "we", Extremely White Man? Not the people who voted in favor of gay marriage, I take it.

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 11:02 am

And not the people who *won*. BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA….

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 11:39 am

It's the Royal "we." As in, I am Ricky Santorum, King of, of, of, well, Something!

weejee November 10, 2012 at 10:21 am

Oh fiddle, now I've got santorum all over my mouse and keyboard. Does teh Wonkette Bazaar sell froth cleaners?

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

Please refer to the first comment at the top of the page.
IOW, no.

not that Dewey November 10, 2012 at 10:53 am

Set them in a crate, with some froth balls, and check back in a few months.

starfanglednut November 10, 2012 at 5:03 pm

My grandma's house always smelled like froth balls.

PsycWench November 10, 2012 at 10:23 am

I have a lot of work to get done in the next few weeks and I'm sure some tax cuts will help with that. However, the tax cuts will probably be offset because I have been invited to a wedding between two of my good female friends! Yippee!

JustPixelz November 10, 2012 at 10:25 am

How many votes did Rush "women on contraception are sluts and prostitutes" Limbaugh cost Romney? They should do whatever Rush says because I'm sure it's zero.

SaintRond November 10, 2012 at 10:26 am

I thought they were channeling that unspeakable hag, Ayn Rand, but it's really, Rosa Klebb, the shoe knife woman in "From Russia with Love."

Now that, Rosa Klebb, has come to mind, I can't look at even one of these motherfuckers anymore without thinking about that bitch trying to kick James Bond in the shins with her terrible blade.

Jennyjen798 November 10, 2012 at 10:27 am

Yeah you guys! Nothing at all has changed. Except the country's ruinous slide into socialism in an election that isn't a mandate at all!

ManchuCandidate November 10, 2012 at 10:29 am

No you're right. Nothing has changed. Not even the rhetoric.

Do you even know what socialism means?

/good FSM, I thought you were trolling and can't get sarcasm this morning/ Fuck

Jennyjen798 November 10, 2012 at 10:40 am

LOL! Socialism = free things for teh Brownz and Blahs. :P

Callyson November 10, 2012 at 12:24 pm

I thought you were trolling and can't get sarcasm this morning

Ah, so I'm not the only one SMH over the trolls on HuffPo who (like Santorum) just won't go away and stop making idiotic remarks. I guess their masters are still paying them to sound like morons, in the vain hope that the next election will somehow go their way…

VodkaGoGo November 10, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Coffee.

JustPixelz November 10, 2012 at 10:27 am

"…America’s first freedoms: family…"

Certain families only.

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 11:06 am

White, heterosexual, neo-con families.

Lucidamente1 November 10, 2012 at 10:27 am

Santorum's prose is not nearly as frothy as you'd expect.

ManchuCandidate November 10, 2012 at 10:35 am

It fucking stinks though

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 10:28 am

Best. Frothy. photo. ever. And more, it shows him paying a subliminal tribute to 'Bamz in the way only he could do. Well. Also.

smellyal8tr November 10, 2012 at 10:31 am

I'm shocked, shocked, that he was not his party's nominee and did not win Tuesday night. Why can't he take a hint and disappear into ignomy? Others have. I really think this is the last month I have to ever hear Sarah Palin's name again. Is Walnuts even in the Senate anymore. C'mon, Rick, give it a rest.

As to the photo, second best on Wonkette. First prize is Romeny snapping on those latex gloves at the Fudge Factory or wherever he was…

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 10:53 am

Yeah, I can picture Mitz taking on his first honest job working as a fudge packer, with Santorum as his tech advisor of course.

PubOption November 10, 2012 at 10:55 am

I nominate the leering pope photo as third best.

DemmeFatale November 10, 2012 at 11:08 am

FREAKY SANTORUM FAMILY LIBEL!!!!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 11:23 am

Someone posted this here the other day. Not sure who. But it's simply glorious. http://www.dependablerenegade.com/.a/6a00d8341bf8

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 11:35 am

Good Lord, that's horrifying. And what is with that Luciferian son of Mitt's ? Is that like a Keanu Reeves-Al Pacino thing? Satan and son?

My God. Romney really did sell his soul to the devil! This explains so much. Thank you for posting that picture!

(Rushes off to pray a rosary for Obama.)

Arkoday November 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

limited government and our national security…huh? Is that like 'fewer cows and unlimited milk'? Less buttsex more santorum?
Fucking magic.

jamsie25 November 10, 2012 at 10:37 am

Oh, Ricky! You still think you're relevant and people care what garbage froths out of your oratory orifice.

I sometimes feel sorry for the ass clown. Not really. I'm still mad at him for refusing to answer a question I politely asked him after a public meeting during his first senate run. He seemed to think and said out loud, to the merriment of toothless Central PA christofascists rednecks that he didn't have to answer questions from 'my kind'. I then asked, "What kind is that Mr. Santorum?" The color his face turned was just so cute!

I'm not ashamed to admit that I still have a hard on for him and always will. No, not that kind of hard on. I have standards!

fuflans November 10, 2012 at 11:39 am

well? what kind are you?

Callyson November 10, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Your question must have struck a nerve–did you ask him how dark it is inside the closet?

Oh, and what an asshole he was to do that, also, too.

YerMa November 10, 2012 at 10:38 am

Has anyone received their first shipment of "free stuff" yet?

I'm waiting, Bamz!

Blueb4sinrise November 10, 2012 at 10:58 am

I haven't even gotten an e-mail from him the past few days.

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Naughtius Husseinus Obamus Maximus his name was. Hmm. Promised me the known world, he did. I was to be taken to DC, House by the Reflecting Pool. Interns. Government cheese. As much food stamps as I could eat. Then, he, having his way with me had… voom! Like a rat out of an aqueduct.

Mittaplasia November 10, 2012 at 11:00 am

Hey, no line-butting, please…I'm still waiting for my Obamaphone since '08.

starfanglednut November 10, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I'm so sick of hearing about the fucking obamaphones. They are called "lifeline" phones, and offer a low income person a discount on monthly phone service. They are for emergency use, because there are no pay phones anymore. But I suppose poor people should just get stabbed/have heart attacks/ instead of being able to call 911, and have no way to conduct a job search. Also the program has been in existence since 1985, so they are really reaganphones.

rickmaci November 10, 2012 at 11:06 am

Obamaphones or die!!!

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Your call is important to us, please remain on the line and your call will be answered in the order in which it was received………
Enjoy the Muzak™ while you wait, and remember that 2016 will be here soon.

FlownOver November 10, 2012 at 11:42 am

No shit. Where the fucking fuck is my pony?

Mumbletypeg November 10, 2012 at 11:58 am

You just reminded me.. I still hadn't gotten around to ordering my Joe Biden beer koozie~

YerMa November 10, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Oh! I spoke too soon!! A brownshirt (the UPS guy) just dropped it off. It includes:

Obamaphone (Motorola reworked their "chocolate" line for these!!)

Little Debbie Nutty Bars (they added a picture of Victoria Jackson instead of little Debbie. Super cute!!)

Free abortion card

A copy of The Communist Manifesto

Birkenstocks

A jar of hope

A gay pill

A copy of "Sleepless in Seattle"

A Snuggie® with the Kenyan flag

docterry6973 November 10, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Got my flying car this morning. It is SO COOL!!!

JustPixelz November 10, 2012 at 10:43 am

"But now is not the time to give up on the issues we hold dear."

Actually, now is exactly the time to do that.

[spoiler alert: do not read further if you are a Repubican!]
Unless Obama does something c-c-crazy, the Supreme Court is not going to overturn Roe v Wade for at least twenty years. Republicans should abandon their Crusade for the Unborn and focus on people who are actually breathing.

YerMa November 10, 2012 at 10:48 am

In order for that to happen, the religious right needs to let go of the stranglehold they've had on the GOP. I don't see that happening any time soon.

It will keep them xenophobic, homophobic, misogynistic neanderthals for years to come, I predict.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 10:55 am

The Postborn, please.

DemmeFatale November 10, 2012 at 11:13 am

Snark off:
They are actually breathing a sigh of relief over Roe v. Wade.
It's a HUGE right-wing money maker.
If it was overturned, what would they do?

bobbert November 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Damn right. Abortion and the "homosexual agenda" are really their only genuine, emotion-driven single-issue rallying points. All the bullshit, about soshalisms and deficits and death panels and military spending and what all, is really just verbal fluff that translates to "The President is a Democrat (and, in this case, also not 100% white)". Even shit like creationism and school prayer don't engage the emotions of the RWNJs like abortion and gheyness.

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 11:30 am

"Republicans should abandon their Crusade for the Unborn and focus on people who are actually breathing."

I dunno. Seems to be a case of be careful what you wish for. Having republicans focus on breathing people doesn't seem to me to be something that is likely to end well for said breathing people.

Callyson November 10, 2012 at 12:34 pm

It sure isn't working for breathing women.

Guppy November 10, 2012 at 10:46 am

Also, did you know that our first freedoms are “family, opportunity, limited government, and national security?”

Funny how "freedom of family" doesn't include the freedom to choose when, how and if to have one, "freedom of opportunity" only belongs to those who have riches, mansions, and dancing horses to fall back on when an opportunity falls through, and "freedom of limited government" is really just about limiting those first two.

"Common defen(s)e" is mentioned in the Preamble, but somehow the term "national security" includes a lot more offense than defense…

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 11:09 am

When did we suddenly get "first freedoms"? I thought they were all kinda important.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 11:27 am

But some are FIRST!!1! apparently.

RufusTFirefly November 10, 2012 at 11:24 am

Good hitting beats good pitching. And vice versa.

starfanglednut November 10, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Common defense= military
National security= waterboarding and extraordinary rendition- much better, obvs.

SexySmurf November 10, 2012 at 10:48 am

I stopped reading after "bisexual atheist."

starfanglednut November 10, 2012 at 5:21 pm

fap fap fap fap.

ChillBill November 10, 2012 at 10:52 am

Personally, I've got no issues with the GOP nominating Ricky Retardo in 2016. And at this rate, they probably will.

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 11:25 am

Yes, with the same careful thought and research they used to choose the Harpy of the North in 2008 because she had a vagina, however hellish a cavern it turned out to be.

not that Dewey November 10, 2012 at 10:55 am

We believe strongly that now is not the time for significant tax increases on families, manufacturers, entrepreneurs and other job creators. Now is the time to construct an army of straw men, like so many terra cotta warriors, and release them in a never-ending onslaught onto the airwaves and interwebs.

ttommyunger November 10, 2012 at 10:56 am

Fun fact: I've been called a hard-headed motherfucker (exact words); but this Santorum makes me look like a total pushover. Is it that they are so obtuse they just don't get it or are they just so sold on their act they insist on continuing it in the absence of any acceptable (to them) alternative?

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 11:11 am

I think they've drunk the Kool-aid.

Next stop, Jonestown!

ttommyunger November 10, 2012 at 11:30 am

If they need any help with the fare, count me in for $50.

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 11:23 am

They make damn sure they are never in a position to actually have to hear an alternative perspective, and they have found that they can make money jabbering their brand of gibberish. Don't kill the goose while it still has golden eggs to lay, etc…

ttommyunger November 10, 2012 at 11:29 am

Milking the Rubes….Yeah, that's the ticket.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 11:29 am

"Repeat a lie often enough and…". I can't remember the rest of that quote, but I think it was in German.

ttommyunger November 10, 2012 at 11:47 am

By Pat Buchanan?

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 12:46 pm

It may have been Herr Karl Rove but I'm not sure, all those Turdblossoms™ look the same to me.

ttommyunger November 10, 2012 at 12:56 pm

i'll bet they smell the same, too; like dirty socks and burnt bacon.

Chichikovovich November 10, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Have you every heard a used car salesman admit "You and the facts have convinced me – this car is a lemon."? Even if the steering wheel has just come off in your hands?

ttommyunger November 10, 2012 at 12:32 pm

So, you're saying it's the moneeeze? Prolly right. Working the Rubes……

Boojum November 10, 2012 at 10:57 am

I wipe thy buttocks of thee
I flush thee
And twice I flush thee
And thrice, in the Name of the Maiden, the Mother, and The Crone
I flush thee!
Begone foul stain and besmirch us no more!

Beowoof November 10, 2012 at 10:58 am

Let Santorum Surge 2016

Blueb4sinrise November 10, 2012 at 11:14 am

Yes. We need some op-eds about how terrified Dems are about Santorum 2116.

bobbert November 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Let the Santorum Fly!!!!

Oh, wait….

BZ1 November 10, 2012 at 11:01 am

.. and the reason to listen to Scrooge McSantorum?

bobbert November 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Well, right now it makes kind of a nice accompaniment to Schadenfreude.

viennawoods13 November 10, 2012 at 11:05 am

Michael Feldman just now: "A lot of Republican soul-searching; so far, nothing."

fuflans November 10, 2012 at 11:42 am

peter sagal just now

"so carl, how many points does P.J. [o'rourke] need to finally win something this week?"

Geminisunmars November 10, 2012 at 11:55 am

"Well, Michael, when or if he shows up sober, we'll discuss it then."

fuflans November 10, 2012 at 12:04 pm

oh that's delish!

do tell!

Geminisunmars November 10, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I don't know if he habitually showed up drunk on "Wait..Wait" but he was clearly drunk "a time or two" on Bill Maher's show, and Bill hasn't had him on at all this season (if my memory is right), and he used to have him frequently.

bobbert November 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Is this like a fantasy politics league?

Oh, Republicans. Nevermind.

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 11:51 am

Nice 'un!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 11:07 am

"for every American who today celebrates Obama’s victory, another is left disappointed in Mitt Romney’s loss."

No, "Rick." There are millions more joyful people celebrating Obama's victory than butthurt dweebs mourning Romney's loss. Also, fun fact: The Democratic candidate has won the popular vote in 5 of the last 6 presidential elections. And the one time the Republican candidate "won" the popular vote was, shall we say, "suspicious?"

Your policies are awful. Your ideas are old and smelly like Santorum oozing over moldy, stinky cheese in a pair of a junior high schooler's gym socks.

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 11:12 am

Why is this man still talking?

AlterNewt November 10, 2012 at 11:41 am

Looks more like he's humming.

Geminisunmars November 10, 2012 at 11:49 am

Why is this man still frothing?

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2012 at 11:55 am

More importantly, why is anyone listening?

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 11:16 am

Late breaking and only slightly off topic news burst…. Congressperson Mary Bono Mack (R)abid, California, today learned that her re-election campaign has, in the Bono tradition, run into a tree and is now officially confirmed as dead.
With votes.

DCBloom November 10, 2012 at 11:55 am

Stop! So much good news! I have to stop celebrating eventually…..

Negropolis November 11, 2012 at 1:32 am

Too soon!

boskolives November 11, 2012 at 8:00 am

Either your response was missing the first three words, "Not A Moment", or you didn't see / hear the horrid Anti Howard Dean style screed that made up her desperation laced campaign's final days. No matter which, I wish her political future a continued demise, with votes.

Negropolis November 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

It's a wonkette meme. Sorry if you aren't familiar with it.

boskolives November 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

I'm a veteran with respect to my military service, but for Wonkette, not so much. So, even with my vast accumulated several full days of experience I'll need to request the use of the "Hey I'm just a newbie" excuse one more last time also. 

You just wait until I have a solid two weeks at the keyboard under my belt, or maybe over my waistband if someone else is in the room.
Jerry

ChessieNefercat November 10, 2012 at 11:20 am

The only appropriate response from here on out, from the President himself on down, to anyone who uses the term "job creator" to refer to money hoarding rich dick bazillionaires, is to point your finger at them, laugh uproariously, and wipe the tears of laughter streaming from your eyes while saying "Seriously? No, really, seriously? Oh. My. God." (More gales of laughter…)

Then go on with whatever you were saying, or ask a different reporter a question, while occasionally pointing at the moron and giggling helplessly.

Dudleydidwrong November 10, 2012 at 11:21 am

Ricky, isn't your wife calling you? Isn't it time to change some diapers, father a new child, walk the dog or the cat, and just shut up and go away? A guy whose very name became a wonderful symbol and the butt of many jokes just can't understand. He's truly stupid beyond limits to be allowed out by himself.

lochnessmonster November 10, 2012 at 11:21 am

And you roofers can stay up there on top of the houses you are building for the 1% b/c you don't have a physically punishing job…

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 11:24 am

Keep sucking that sweet chocolate ice cream cock, "Rick."

RufusTFirefly November 10, 2012 at 11:26 am

Rick who?

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 11:31 am

I'm sure that 'Bamz has something for him, but there are too many security cameras and microphones around to say it.

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2012 at 11:39 am

Well, at least this post isn't about Moot Romney.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Yet.

viennawoods13 November 10, 2012 at 11:41 am

OT: I just starting reading it after listening to Frank Rich on Michael Feldman, but so far I'm loving it: Fantasyland

Mumbletypeg November 10, 2012 at 11:56 am

I've been following with interest the plans Rich is developing for a program with Fran Lebowitz — still in early stages. Just yesterday dusted off one of Frank's 2010 pieces "The Other Plot To Wreck America" (NYT) which I'd printed for rereading.. His writing style & his perspective hold an undefineable appeal for me.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Thanks for this. Calling Mitt a "duplicitous cipher" is perfect. Also, Duplicitous Ciphers = band name.

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2012 at 11:41 am

"we" lost the election, so "we" should just shut the fuck up until the next cycle.

fuflans November 10, 2012 at 11:42 am

RICKY!!!! YOU GOT SOME 'SPLAININ TO DO!!!

Walter_White November 10, 2012 at 11:47 am

Hating on Rick Sanatorium

Egregious644 November 10, 2012 at 11:53 am

Rick, who are the "we" to whom you refer? "We" voted for President Obama for reelection. "We" voted for marriage equality in Maryland. "We" voted to legalize marijuana in Colorado. "We" elected Elizabeth Warren, Kyrsten Sinema, and Mazie Hirono. You ran for the Republican nomination for President and lost. Mitt Romney decided that Paul Ryan was more fit than you for the office of Vice President. Do you have a job, Rick? "We" suggest you get one and stop sponging off the Main Stream Media by writing these articles for pennies.

BadKitty904 November 10, 2012 at 11:55 am

Oh, Rickey,
You're so blind,
You're so blind
You blow my mind
Hey, Rickey! Hey! Hey!
Hey, Rickey! Hey! Hey!

Misty Malarky November 10, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Ricky please lose our num-bah!

VodkaGoGo November 10, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Apparently Rick Santorum doesn't realize he hasn't won an election in twelve years. Also, this:

… for every American who today celebrates Obama’s victory, another is left disappointed in Mitt Romney’s loss.

Apparently Rick Santorum doesn't know how an election works because this is objectively false. Maybe that's why he hasn't won an election in twelve years. Ha, I kid. It's because he's all the individual things people hate about the GOP all rolled into one, plus sweater vests.

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 12:26 pm

"why you should retire at age 70"

Oh, that's just so ridiculous!
I'd be surprised if I've got a job by then.

tessiee November 10, 2012 at 12:27 pm

[bored]
So, is Ted Nugent dead yet, or what?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 10, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Or at least in jail?

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm

No, but his career is. Hopefully.

Negropolis November 11, 2012 at 1:34 am

Unfortunatly, no. Here in Michigan, I see him advertising some local celebrity deer hunt with him, as if he's a prize or something.

Jerri November 10, 2012 at 12:40 pm

…for every American who today celebrates Obama’s victory, another is left disappointed in Mitt Romney’s loss.

Well, no, Rick. Seeing as Obama won, which means he got more votes than Mitt, there are in fact more people celebrating than not.

Abernathy November 10, 2012 at 12:48 pm

"for every American who today celebrates Obama’s victory, another is left disappointed in Mitt Romney’s loss"

And maybe 10 are wondering whether their vote ended up in the dumpster behind the local GOP headquarters.

AlaskaGrrl November 10, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Rick Santorum? A little bleach in the wash will fix that.

Schmegeg November 10, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Following his heroic legislative work, Rick will then lose a Senate race to somebody completely anonymous, then get battered to death by another clown college of Republican Presidential hopefuls. Our Hero.

Callyson November 10, 2012 at 1:03 pm

So, the Frothy Mix won't go away? He hopes the GOP follows its tradition of nominating the Presidential GOP primary runner up the next time around?

I can't stop imagining Dan Savage channeling his inner Dirty Harry:

"Go ahead, make my day."

DixvilleCrotch November 10, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I never tire of that pic of Santorum showing off his skillz with that girthy cone.

miss_grundy November 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm

He needs to stick that ice cream further down his throat if he's going to work in gay porn films.

anniegetyerfun November 10, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Well, I certainly hope that this resounding victory has taught Obama a lesson about everything that he is doing wrong.

LibrarianX November 10, 2012 at 2:43 pm

"…for every American who today celebrates Obama's victory, another is left disappointed in Mitt Romney's loss." Not exactly, Rick – this is sort of why Romney lost. Math really IS hard for you people.

LibrarianX November 10, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I see TV ads selling adult diapers in Santorum's future.

BarackMyWorld November 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Shouldn't Rick be waist-high in "see I told you so" regarding how terrible candidate Romney was, instead of trying to rationalize his loss?

docterry6973 November 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Ricky is entitled to use the royal 'we' because he was the runner-up to Romney in the primary season. He is 'Next In Line'. By ancient and sacred GOP tradition, he is now the frontrunner for 2016 and the de-facto leader of his party.

Since no one ever liked Romney they won't give him Walnut's chair as Last Loser, which entitles the holder to appear on every Sunday morning news show until the next election. Ricky can demand that as well.

So go for it Ricky. Show 'em how it's done.

BarackMyWorld November 10, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I think they're going to invoke the loophole that kept Pat Buchanan from ascending to that position and start from scratch like they did in 2000.

Walkinwiddaking November 10, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Judging from the picture he appears to be quite comfortable with a large cylinder of anything stuffed into his mouth.

slowhansolo November 10, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Fitting in the sense that RIcky, at least, has some passing familiarity with the concept of wholesale rejection.

shelwood46 November 10, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Ricky is just sticking to the talking points (see also, Boehner): 1. Obama barely won, we won more square footage, therefore 2. "We" shall proceed as though our agenda was endorsed and keep up with the "no tax cuts for the rich" .

cousinitt November 10, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Truck stop bathrooms often advertise for the ribbed variety–thanks to Rick, I now understand what it means.

lumpenprole November 10, 2012 at 9:24 pm

You know what other party stuck with their crazy, violent outlook until the establishment left was discredited by financial ruin?

vtxmcrider November 10, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Whatever the fuck he is thrusting into his mouth in the picture looks like it is covered in santorum.

Negropolis November 11, 2012 at 1:13 am

To be honest, I see he qualified "tax increases" with the word "significant", which actually leaves open the door to find revenue. I'm not sure if he meant to do this, but I'd run with this like the wind. We can argue and debate about "significant"; we can't debate from a starting point of "no".

Sorry about the lack of snark, but I hope we get moving with the urgency of now and don't let up. It's time to start taking advantage of their cracks and weaknesses and peeling off the few remaining moderates in the House until we can wipe them out in 2014.

Warpde November 11, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Is there some subliminal message going here with the pic of Santorum sucking on a big black cone?
What are you trying to tell us Ricky boy?

reweni November 11, 2012 at 6:38 pm

"We will not stop offering warmed-over Reaganism as a solution to everything"

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