AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT THE ELECTION! (This will be your life for the next few days, get used to it.) Here are Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity, giving us THEIR opinions about why the GOP got their ass handed to them on Tuesday, and you will never guess what they have to say. Or maybe you will, because SHOCKER, this is all the fault of the Latinos who want handouts. (Yes, THOSE Latinos, the same ones that the GOP is frantically trying to reach by parading Marco Rubio around.) Also, the fact that Obama is an incumbent president? THAT’s what made it difficult to pry him out of the White House. Romney was a “strong candidate,” but not quite strong enough to unseat an incumbent, because that NEVER happens. (Except to Jimmy Carter and GHW Bush, but never mind that.) See, the country is changing, says Hannity. And it’s changing into a group of people attracted to the “allure of ‘free.’”
No, Hannity is not talking about people who get to set up tax-free $100,000,000 IRAs, or create tax-free $100,000,000 gifts to their sons; he’s talking about THOSE PEOPLE. Those Latino people who want the government to take care of them. Which makes sense, because who doesn’t think socialist commie cradle to grave security when they think of Mexico, which is where a plurality of Hispanic Americans come from? Anyway, it seems to Sean Hannity that this is the problem. A bunch of spics who want free stuff, and voted for Obama. If we weren’t filled with immigrants from the “Third World,” we would have a white man in the White House.
The other problem is the Obama campaign, which knew no boundaries when it came to “slandering, smearing, besmirching, and attacking” a nice guy (he means Mitt Romney): this will only get worse because Obama has set the bar so low, and this “embarrasses” Sean Hannity, who is so very disappointed in his country and the president.
But it’s OK! The GOP will just work towards 2014 and convince those stupid Hispanics that the GOP is good for them.
(And yes, soon your Wonkette will get sick of posting Fox News videos, but for the short term, it is fascinating to watch the Party of Personal Responsibility perfect their Finger-Pointing Blame-Gaming.)
{ 386 comments }
Oh look. It's denial day in the neighborhood.
Keep screwing that rat, wingnuts. It's worked so well for you up until now.
Hannity repeats louder this time so it is sure to be understood, "Yo keepo el sexingo el chickenio!"
Just for shits and giggles, let's set the top marginal tax rate at 92% like it was under the Republicans in the '50s and see if we run out of money.
we will, because MEXICANS KEEP STEALING IT. Oh fuck, I wish this post-election moment could last forever.
But don't you understand? If we do that all the rich people will run away to places that love them more. Like, say, the Bahamas. Or possibly Belize. Somalia?
Hannity? Isn't that a fuckin' mick name?
Coulter? Isn't the name of a long-faced quadruped?
Jeez, now we gotta let in the Irish?
After his family's ship passed the Statue of Liberty, the put the "wretched refuse" thing on it.
Yeah, he has more in common with Mexicans than he realizes.
Bet he's one of those goddamn Sinn Fein terrorists.
people attracted to the “allure of ‘free.’
Aren't these the same people who constantly go on about how important American freedom is?
/back to FFS
All those Mexican gentlemen at the Home Depot parking lot are in line for government handouts.
Oh, and here I thought all the ladies and gentlemen you see in Florida, riding the bus from Miami to the Keys, were working as gardeners and domestics.
It turns out they are getting free stuff, somewhere?
Not to mention “free enterprise.“
It's so true – free stuff had no allure until now.
Hannity hates our freedom
I bet most of the tranny vote went to Obama, despite FOX parading Ann Coulter around.
Abso-fucking-lutely. She's looking more and more like a Predator in a blond fright wig.
I've always called her a "praying mantis in a blonde wig"…close enough, though…
I am *SO* stealing that. (but will include full attribution)
You better! I'm getting tired of all you free loaders on the Intertubes stealin' my snark and passing it off as your own! It just makes me want to go Galt!
Mom of trans-person here. The word tranny makes baby Jeebus cry. Well, maybe not baby Jeebus, but me. *sniffles* End of Sensitivity 101 post.
Still wondering why any ghey person wouldn't want to smack Ann Coulter, given how much she obviously hates LGBT people.
Sorry to make you cry, I didn't know this was an area of sensitivity. It's too late to edit my post, so please accept my new enlightenment by way of apology.
I didn't feel any insensitivity from your post. I'm not Puggles, of course, but let me put it this way: It's kind of like 'queer.' I love the word, and never hesitate to use it, but I am queer. The same way only its own people can legitimately use the 'N' word, which I never, ever would use, especially since I was raised (most of the hours of every day) by a black second Mother who took NO SHIT FROM NOBODY, especially me and my siblings. (God, I miss her since she passed.. Now I'M teary!)
But I digress. You can call me queer without hurting my feelings if you are the kind of person I can call a breeder without hurting yours. Puggles daughter probably feels the same.
EDIT: Sorry to assume Puggle's is the mother of a person born with male genitalia who is trans.
Meh. Questions of who may call whom what, and whether hateful words can ever be used non-hatefully just lead to unsatisfactory infinite regresses. I figure that in life you're better off apologising if you've inadvertently caused someone distress. That goes double in an intrinsically uncivil medium like the Internet comment thread.
John: Queer?
Homer: Yeah, and that's another thing! I resent you people using that word. That's our word for making fun of you! We need it!!
Thank you, BlueJoubert, and my trans child is female-to-male, in the process of transitioning.
And yes, yes, yes about the use of queer etc. You own it, but I would not presume to use it. And actually my trans kid is a gay Republican, so he says all sorts of stuff that breaks my brain, but most of it is political.
I'm straight, and I'd like to give her a good bitch-slapping.
Yeah yeah yeah, with crappy ratings and book sales…
I'm probably repeating myself in saying that all the transgendered people I know are amazingly smart, gifted & talented, and have tremendous empathy & tolerance. Qualities that Ann lacks. That's what offends me most about quips that she's a "tranny".
That's something I should be considering. Because, in fact, it does square with my personal experience. OK, so Ann's just got The Stupid, an inordinately large Adam's apple, and is a disgrace to womanhood.
All of these I completely agree with!
Fellow trans ally ( and gender queer myself) here. I have in the past also registered my distresss a the use of this term on this site. People were very responsive, and it all but disappeared for quite some time. Every once in a while it pops back up, but as grief lessons made so clear, no one here uses the term out of malice. It's always tricky to balance sensititivity and respect with the natural (and beloved) tendency commenters here to ridicule everything and everybody, and hold nothing sacred. Its a little like all the fat jokes about Christy. That said, my trans friends would be deeply hurt and offended to be compared to Ann Coulter, and the talent in this community is more than adequate to find better ways to insult conservatives. Rest assured there are many trans allies here.
Thanks, starfanglednut, I figured this was a generally trans-friendly place, since we spend so much time sporking homophobes.
Ann Coulter is not a tranny. She may have a tragically prominent Adam's apple, but the object of countless Republican hetro studs fantasies couldn't possibly be a tranny. Could she?
Ew.
Yes, GOP, because the best way to get someone to vote for your crackerass racist mofo agenda is to tell that portion of the electorate they are layabout freeloaders here illegally to get "privileges" like "food" and "shelter" and "jobs".
The GOP decided to insult as much of the electorate as possible. How could that not be a winning strategy?
It's not their fault the browns don't have a sense of humor.
Neither nor the raped women.
Or the women who just want decent birth control, dammit, without someone (you know who you are, Rush) calling them a whore on the Clear Channels.
I don't know who they're talking about. I know a bunch of Hispanics (or Spanish speaking browns) and they work their asses off from daylight to dusk. Do the people at Fox News know something I don't?
And how about the Latinos sin papeles who work those three jobs and have Social Security deducted, yet are unable to collect it in their old age? I'd say Hannity is stealing from THEM.
Ahhhhhhhh …. I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning. It smells like … Victory!
(were we this bad? … probably)
No we were not. Do not forget how high and steep Bullshit Mountain(copyright Jon Stewart) is. They really do live in an alternate reality bubble, and it's never been clearer.
They were handed their asses on Tuesday, and they never saw it coming.
…and they never saw it coming.
(guffaw). I know. It was all over the media, but they were astonished. Bookmakers in London knew but they did not. They have lived for years with only the most limited awareness of the outside world. So, in 2014 will they be whining about "taking their country back". ("their" country, mind you.) But they do seem to feel there was nothing wrong with their message. And, after all, with two winsome candidates, a platform that was widely admired, and acting as the representatives of a much-beloved political party, how could they possibly loose? Only teh Acornz. or the SEIU thugs. Or the New Black Panthers. Or the vote fraud. or Chris Christie. Or hurricane Sandy. Moochers and takers. Nothing wrong with the message. At all.
You have to wonder if a group that's *THAT* clueless and incompetent should be allowed to run the country…
I especially like the detail that Rmoney had arranged a fireworks display over Boston Harbor. That and the President-elect website. Totes clueless.
To give credit where it's due, that website was probably some low-level minion actually doing his or her job properly. But the fireworks display … BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I hope Zambelli (or whomever) has a no-return policy.
Oh to live on Bullshit Mountain, with Karl Rove and the other buffoons…
I know that song …
BTW, love your Binders of Women avatar and your personal description!
The best part is they don't seem to acknowledge that it HAPPENED. I read Boehner and McConnell's statements and high-lariously enough they seem to think Bamz is going to 'comprimise' by following Mittwitt's bullshit agenda. Keep fucking that chicken, wingnuts…just keep denying the will of the people to feed your fat pig rich constituents…
And that is so, so sweet.
Well, in '04 I seem to remember bitching about a real "lowering of the bar" in the swiftboating of Kerry. After that, and the Purple Heart fucking band-aids, these people have exactly zero room to complain about anything anybody says about one of their candidates, ever.
In comparison, calling a tax cheat a tax cheat, or a vulture capitalist a vulture capitalist seems pretty damned tame.
Or a lying Congressman a liar, when he lies.
i can't get her voice out of my brain – i'm going out and shoot myself now – thanks alot.
Sounds like Babs singing "The Way We Were", only prettier.
I think there are some videos of Meatloaf singing at a Romney rally that would help scrub that sound out. On second thought, maybe shooting would be easier.
At least, faster
Mayah. Myah myah myah myah myah. Myaaaaah.
Who wouldn't find that voice soothing?
Her fame is finite. The day is coming when no one will ever be bothered by her pathetic schtick again.
the Obama campaign, which knew no boundaries when it came to “slandering, smearing, besmirching, and attacking” a nice guy
I believe the tea baggers call that "campaigning".
Or "reporting." The fair and balanced way.
Four words.
Purple. Heart. Band. Aid.
And all those photoshops of Romney with a bone through his nose. So uncalled for.
Or projection.
"Or projection."
Doubly true, since the Obama campaign didn't say anything about Mitt that Newtie, Santorum, Perry, various and sundry Foxbots and/or Wingnut Radio hosts didn't say about him during the primaries.
And a week or so from now, when the narrative predictably and unanimously on the right becomes "Romney wasn't a true conservative," they'll be pretty much doing it again.
Fucking unscrupulous fucks.
Er, reality check. You ARE filled with immigrants from the third world, who wanted free stuff (land). If you weren't, you'd be be A Man Afraid of His Horses.If these apes were any denser, light would bend around them..
If they were any denser, they would suck everything around them into them, which might not be such a bad idea.
They learn nothing. No apology. They just "forgot" that incumbents have an advantage. You know Coulter is scared when she tries to sound quiet and reasonable.
All I know is, if I don't get fresh Schadenfreudin every hour now, I start to get sick, because I'm schaden fuckin' addicted!!! Happy Wonkette? Now I'm hooked and if I can't get it here I'll be out on the streets, looking for republican misery. Thanks a lot.
Hell, I've already got tiks for the next NECKCAR race.
Thank you for allowing me to publicly admit my problem. OK, step two…
Dear Wonkette: I love my Schaden, but I'm not hooked on the freude, can I enjoy them seperately?…
Kentucky Freud Chicken. It's motherfuckin' good!
Dear Toomush,
Perhaps you could invite a third over to share in the freude?
It's all about timing – the Schaden needs to be kept hot and steamy….
Fortunately there is so very much of it in the air right now, that it will be quite a while before you'll have to go cold turkey. You won't have worry until 2014.
I've got a fever, and the only cure is schadenfreude!!
Help. I've fallen and I can't get up.. I need schadenfrreude alert.
Watching all the angry white people try and dance on this Soulless Train puts a bounce in my step.
The Entitlement Express seems to have jumped the track, after 236 years. And they Just. Can't. Understand. Why.
So, is this the same Anne Coulter that said: "Romney is the weakest of the candidates, and, if we run him, he will lose…?….is this the same one?…
No accountability.
Or personal responsibility.
Clearly not. That was the six-months-ago Ann Coulter.
No, it was the Coulter-doppleganger. (Too bad Halloween is over.)
Yes, but she flip flopped on that in this video. Mittens' influence got to her.
Nate Silver predicted that there is a 97% chance Ann Coulter has a dick.
And a 3% chance she will ever get dick.
With a margin of error of -3%
And what sane person would want Dinesh D'Souza's sloppy seconds, anyway?
You don't have to have one to be one.
Nah,it's only a strap-on…..
So, there's at least one between the two of them, amirite?
Did not think I wanted to sit through six minutes of this drivel, but watching these two whine about how *Obama* was the liar is giving me a much needed ROTFLMAO moment or ten…
Way to court a powerful, growing base, assholes!
Keep it up!
BTW, I love how they plan to woo these Latinos!!!!….the fucking moochers….we need them….
I see that a Texas GOP official – just county level but still – now wants to secede to get away from the "maggots" who voted for Obama. I wonder if they will herd Texans who voted for Obama into boxcars and ship them to Montana.
Based on earlier rightwing paranoid fantasies today, I'm afraid it's the GOP folks who will be eating hobo beans on boxcars in Montana…
It's going to be really expensive to bury all the bodies of the 3.4 million Texans who voted Obama. Maybe they could get a federal grant. Wait, what?
Every county is now a soverrain nation!1! All niggers except those on the high school football team and all spics that ain't in the restaurant bidness GET THE FUCK OUT!1!1!!!1!!
And the same goes for all you Messicans who aren't mowing my lawn or cleaning my toilet or washing my dishes or making my supper or watching my kids or….anyway, you know who you are, loafers…
Texas GOP official – just county level but still – now wants to secede
Oooh, you know how to turn me on…
Hmm, sounds like a guy who should study more Texas history, especially that part where it mentions Texas v. Smith. Geez, didn't he learn anything in the multiple years of Texas History?!!?!!!!
Wow these right wing turds cannot get enough of alienating the fastest growing voter demographic, can they?
Puta y puto de media.
Y putzes tambien.
Es verdad!
"Don't listen to us, Democrats"
Too late, Coultergeist…you've already said too much…
Coultergeist… that might be my favorite name for her.
Keep talking, assholes. Our prospects for 2016 (and 2020 and 2024, for that matter) look better and better every time they open their dumb mouths and whine about the brown people wanting free pinto beans from the government.
I'm in it for the free tequila and tacos.
California Tortilla gave out a free taco on election day if you said Vote(because giving it out to those who had an I voted sticker is illegal)
God I miss California sometimes.
Also, what is up with Hannity's hair? Has he looked in a mirror? What is that look trying to say.
"I use the same stylist The Donald uses."
Has Coulter had a facelift or is there a fresh blood at Miss Havisham's Charm School?
Hannity's hair: "I'm the toughest Mick in this reform school, so don't fuck with me."
"I am a detestable penis-chancre?"
Just guessing.
I like blowing alter boys?
"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Gringos Locos."
"Stay racist, my friends, so the politicians I give money to keep winning."
Wow. they really are determined to continue to paint themselves into an ever-shrinking old white Xtian corner, aren't they? Good luck with that.
They're just running on muscle-memory at this point, like when a guy keeps rising for the slam-dunk after the ball has already been slapped out of his hands.
"…they're never going to become president, they've got to stop running for president."
Too true, Coultergeist.
Of course, where she is referring to a few now-forgotten GOP primary candidates, I am referring to the wingnut universe…
I will forever be grateful for Jon Stewart for this:
Bullshit Mountain
Nothing else explains the Fox News bubble as well.
Also too, keep fucking that chicken.
My Honduran "exchange student," who works harder than any white handyman I have ever hired, begs to differ.
Or at least he might, if he could get online and speak English.
"Romney ran a classy campaign"
Mr Hannity, your Jeep is waiting to take you to your next assignment…
Yes, this is definitely a good plan to win back the Latino vote. Kinda like keying your ex's car in hopes that they will see you as "spontaneous" and "fun".
Also – I never realised Hannity had a shame level. It really is a new day in America!
What is up with her hair? Did she get laid or just finally wash her hair?
I'm still trying to figure out where her lips went.
Welcome to the age of the Reina Welfara, driving around in her big 'ole El Camino.
Not a low-rider '63 Chevy?
The second piece of good news: Fox's demographics are shrinking as fast as the GOP's.
Both are dying off.
There is a God!
Damn dirty Mexicans! How can we get them to vote for us?
I'm not sure what a smoocher train is, but sounds like someone will be kissin' a lot of brown butts.
Pithy.
Los ingratos codiciosos.
Hearts and minds people, hearts and minds.
They would need to actually have those things to understand that.
As was said back in the day, grab 'em by the balls and their hearts and minds will follow. Which is why Saigon is not named Ho Chi Minh city today.
A little Zappa seems appropriate here.
What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
Some say your nose
Some say your toes
But I think it's YOUR MIND
Are you the Indian in this group?…
Pre election: "THERE TAKIN ALL ARE JOBS!!!"
Post election: "THEY ONLY WANT HANDOUTS!!!"
Neither is accurate but it doesn't mean you can have both. You have to pick one guys.
No, this is what is so great about the Faux/Rove schizophrenia – you can always not have it both ways!!!!….
the short-term memory loss demographic was always their base
I.e., Fox Network viewers…
They somehow already managed to forget Barry's first term, according to my facebook feed America died on Tuesday.
Handjobs.
There, you can have both.
It's always about them but Coulter ought to take some personal responsibility here. She didn't deliver the undead vote, which is why Romney lost.
How'd she do on the cokehead mannish slut vote?
"She didn't deliver the undead vote"
Well, goodness knows Nosferatu Rick Scott tried his hardest.
Clearly they need fresh blood in the party
I maintain that Fox's great ratings, when compared to cable stations like MSNBC, are a) representative of what their fans want, and b) reflect the fact that liberals read.
Keep fuckin' that pollo, Republitards.
The only way to fix it is to throw Hannity and Coulter into a bar full of Zetas members
"the Obama campaign, which knew no boundaries when it came to “slandering, smearing, besmirching, and attacking” a nice guy"
Yes, how dare they be…COMPETENT at their objectives of WINNING?!?!?!? Also, how dare they tell the truth about a man who had no discernible empathy or compassion except towards those made of money just like him. That's entirely un-American. Except when white guys do it. In that case, it's Freedom and Liberty and the such as.
All those lies and his past behavior don't fit with any conventional definition of "nice". Those with a financial motive will do all they can to recast Rmoney as a well-meaning, salt-of-the-earth buffoon. Nevar ferget!
Remember the Baine!
How long until someone on Fox floats the idea of reinstating the 3/5 rule?
About 5 years ago.
Puh-leeze!
That will happen when tiny pigs wear red boots!
Btw, maddie, do you know about cinders the pig? Check here out on google. Stupid iPad makes it hard to do links.
AHHHH! So adorable. One day, when life and the MSM get to be too much, I'm going to buy a farm in Iowa and surround myself with pigs.
Let's see — they've blamed Ted Kennedy's 1965 immigration act, the immigrants themselves, freeloaders in general, the mean, mean Obama campaign that was so horribly mean to the party of Karl Rove and Lee Atwater — who have they yet to blame? Oh yeah — themselves and their shitty campaign and its shitty party and its shitty homophobic, legalistic, racist pro-rich-people, war-all-the-time, drown government in the bathtub agenda. Today's conservatives live inside a disco ball with all the mirrors on the inside.
Wookie – why is it always so funny when you just tell the truth?….
Why thank you, that's very sweet. And in response to your question, I have no idea — maybe just a desperate desire to keep myself amused.
The 'party of personal responsibility for you, endless whining for me' is really outdoing themselves this week.
In other words, they lost control and I know I like it.
Please save this clip for the 2014 mid-terms. It will come in handy then.
I'm trying to see if any Spanish tv station has picked up all the anti Latino shit the right has spewed the past couple of days and I haven't found anything.
The good news: They have learned nothing from what just happened.
Please GOD…
I love how Hannity is "embarrassed" for the President because he ran a negative campaign and dared to point out that Romney was a two-faced liar who only cared about the rich.
After all, we all remember just how pure Romney was during the primaries, where he didn't attack any of his opponents. And how he told the truth about Obama moving Jeep production to China. And how he was honest about his tax plan. And, like everything.
How dare the Democrats smear this poor man with the truth!
FUCK Hannity- WE WON!!!!!! I never watch Fox- ever- except twitter feed sent me to see Rove having his nutty breakdown about Ohio- best TV ever. And the next day I watched 15 minutes of Fox and Friends which was exactly like the SNL skits. by the way NATE!!! and WE WON!!!!! . I will be posting this at least once a day for months to come
Apology tour… rawwwk… apology tour… scrawk, tweet… apology tour…
Shit, even Pat Boone was lured into doing Rmoney ads here in FL about the $714B "taken out of" Medicare. No Amercian had any qualms about running that lie into the dirt.
They're not using the flowchart correctly. The correct response in these circumstances is to claim Mitt wasn't conservative enough.
Why don't these two just get a room, a rubber room.
At the Adam's Apple.
They're fans of rendition, correct?
If the Dems were as nefarious as they say, these hucksters would be two of many already in supermax – with audio from their own con-artist-diarrhea appearances piped in 24/7.
In other news, Democrats should expect to up their share of the Latino vote by 10% next election, assuming FOX News shuts up in the next week.
I've assuming the Democratic base in general will be increasing in nine months.
Uh, can we go back to those laws of elections. "Tie goes to the white guy…"? At least (s)he is no longer trying to hide that (s)he is a raving racist.
That one threw me for a loop too. Like "duh, tie goes to the white guy because the white guy gets dibs" and then they just move the fuck on to forgetting about the incumbent rule, like that is also a real thing. Huh?
ZOMFG what's going to happen when Puerto Rico becomes a state? GAME OVER, Shawnitty!
Did Coultergeist have a bad face lift or a botox overdose or something? Her face looks even less human than usual.
That's what happens when the lizard brain is totally in charge.
Wait, did Coulter run for Senate in Minnesota?
Bile poisoning.
What the fuck is up with the "NON WHITES ON WELFARE VOTED FOR SANTA CLAUS" meme? It's the dumbest shit ever, which is what makes it a great political strategy.
Illegal immigrants can't fucking vote. but whatever.
Most people on welfare are white, but whatever.
This is the best self fulfilling prophecy ever. Alienate blacks and Latinos by scapegoating them, as loudly as possible. Force them to vote for the guy who does not alienate or scapegoat them. Repeat.
I have no idea but it's all over the fucking place. My facebook feed blew up with omg free cell phones, food stamp phones, welfare phones. "Those" lazies are going to get free shit but not MEEEEE! Really, you're crying over a 99 cent phone?
That's how I know it HAD to have been on Fox, too much of a kool aid drinking coincidence.
Don't say "spic".
Romney was a “strong candidate"…
Who LOST by 120 electoral votes…which makes him a rather weak candidate, if you ask me
Mayhaps they meant his deodorant was a bit lacking?
Mittens received .3% of the popular vote and 45 electoral votes LESS than John Kerry (or as I'm now calling him "Senator Mendoza Line"). I would die of fucking embarrassment if I was Mittens.
He even got less of the Mormon vote than Bush. Damn.
Which reminds me of how well he did in his home states, where people know him best.
No, wait…
Seriously???
POINT THREE percent of the popular vote, not even three percent?
any chance you have a link that I can
masturbate toclick on?0.3% less than McCain.
Put your rabbit away
Yes, but compared to all the others……
Isn't W's nephew a beaner? You know the one – the one who's applying for future government housing in Texas.
The "little brown one"?
Yes the little brown nutcase who broke into his ex's parents house and drove his car all through their yard. But hey he's a bush and he's handsome and mexican which means he's going to be competitive. =/
Somehow I missed that! What should I Google; I can't even remember his name.
George Prescott Bush.
I actually met him-in a store where I was working. Supercilious, arrogant putz.
Worst episode of "Cracko and the Mann" evah.
possibly Mann and Sha-yawn have lost mucho credibility in the real world as well as the world they live in.
Didn't they both hate mittens before they loved him?
but they both always hate the blah guy
We should be hearing what they think about the War on Xmas soon. I mean Christmas.
I don't think they've quite got it that if they shit on the Latino vote, Bazza "will eat you up, sick you out, and grout his fucking wet room with you"
For evah, and evah, etc.
I don't know who this Bazza person is, but I like the sound of him.
This is one of the funniest things I've heard all day….they are just building a wall around Bullshit Mountain to keep them in, not to keep us out. They are giving up.
Glenn Beck is suggesting people buy farmland and ammunition, and that people check the election maps by county to see where to move to to be surrounded by like-minded people, and to particularly get the hell out of the east.
http://www.mediaite.com/online/top-10-most-obnoxi…
So they'll move out of the swing states. Cool.
Yeah, and the next major drought and those rugged individualists will be begging for federal farm aid.
That's actually starting to happen in the area where I grew up. The farmers bitch about people getting "hand outs" but when their crops fail (thanks to climate change, which they also don't believe in), they start applying for those "handouts".
Lucky Utah…
I agree with Glenn- move away, morons. Of course, farming is pretty tough so they will go broke and starve and want stuff
They should get Cheech and Chong to come on and play that popular favorite, "Mexican Americans."
Cheech:
Mexican Americans don't like to just get into gang fights,
they like flowers and music and white girls named Debbie too.
Mexican Americans are named Chata and Chella and chemma
and have a son in law named Jeff.
Mexican Americans don't like to get up early in the morning
but they have to so they do it real slow.
Mexican Americans love education so they go to night school
and take Spanish and get a B.
Mexican Americans love their Nana's and their Nono's and their
Nina's and their Nino's…….. Nano Nano Nina Nono!
Mexican Americans don't like to go to the movies where the
dude has to wear contact lenses to make his blue eyes brown
cause don't it make my brown eyes blue…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_LMUZ8PZ9s
Chong:
Beaners….
Beaners….
Beaners…
Beaners.. Are Gonna Kick you in the Face
♪♫ Para mierda del toro
Para mierda del toro
Tan jodidamente poco de gracia
Bamba, bullshit
Bamba, bullshit
Bamba, bullshit, bam ♫♪
Christie 2016: Stop being lazy and stealing shit and vote for me, you dirty fucking mexicans and blahs.
There, I wrote the GOP slogan for them. Victory!
Christie is Gov. of NJ; he'd call them Puerto Ricans, not Mexicans.
Jesus Fucktarded Christ.
They focus on latinos because everyone knows they're all illegal.
The latest GOP voter ID law: The name on your ID cannot end in a vowel or a "Z".
Christianity promises eternal life in paradise. Which is full of free stuff. Moochers.
Oops….Pole/Czech libel!….
Italians too!
Or begin with "Mc"
They can go back to the real old-time racism, where the filthy guidos, mics and eastern Europeans weren't white either.
"The latest GOP voter ID law: The name on your ID cannot end in a vowel or a "Z". "
Which would disenfranchise both Corsi and Orsi.
And Christie.
OK. I couldn't get past the first minute of this. But already Ann Coulter is backpedaling saying that even though she was wrong about Mitt winning, in "most of the states" she said he was going to win he either lost by a thin margin or "they were still counting ballots at 3 in the morning." Were there ANY states that had 100% counted by 3:00AM? I love how the party of personal responsibility keeps moving the goalposts whenever it suits them rather than simply admitting they were wrong.
It's not that we were wrong. It just that we didn't understand what cheaters you were.
I distinctly remember Miss Thang saying less than a year ago, "If we don't pick Chris Christie, Mitt Romney will be our nominee and we will lose." When did she change her tune?
Ann Coulter happens to be quite familiar with Trains…
Keeping them on time or pulling them?
I thought I saw "Santa Fe" embossed on her forehead from the last time one hit her in the face…
FOX news projection: Projection!
Is Man Coulter doing a Beyonce impersonation with all that fake blond hair added to her usual lack luster locks?
I know … and she's usually so authentic.
So…OT, (or maybe not since this and posts like it are helping so many of us fap till our souls are drained and then fap some more) BUT I have a question/confession about the whole fappy meme.
What do you picture when you see the word? I'm not asking for sexy reasons. (Sorry). I'm asking because it just occurred to me that whenever I see *fapfapfap* posted in the comments anywhere, I immediately, for a nanosecond, and without conscious intent, picture a nondescript 30-something white guy on his unmade twin bed, shirtless but in gray striped boxers, just lazily slapping his flaccid wiener against his upper thigh through the boxer hole thingy while staring off into the middle distance.
But that is not what fapping is.
And that concludes this Friday's Wonkette True Confessions. TGIF.
That sounds like 'flapping' or 'nerfing' or something else I think I just made up but probably didn't.
"Nerfing" sounds like something awful.
…and 'flapping' sounds like 4Chan? anybody, anybody? (sorry, I know geeks. I lived with one for 11 years).
Nerfing sounds like farting in the bathtub.
Stinky!
I think that's a 'blooble'. (I'll just continue to make shit up that sounds like whatever's described)
NERF HERDER!
ARGGGG!!! Brain bleach. Pass the brain bleach NOW!!!
Oh come on now. That wasn't even that vivid a description.
Are you channeling my step-son?
One thing is for sure: I do not picture Ann Coulter.
Don't think. Fap!
You are always the voice of reason around here and I love it.
HEY! Do you have, like, a remote camera in my bathroom? …..Cut it out!….
I look forward to this becoming a regular feature. "Fridays with Jerri."
I will try my best. Please note that should it happen, you did ask for it.
If I see *fapfapfap* posted, I picture many scenarios, usually involving the hubby and/or guys with a bit of maturity and fur (especially fur) and…um…oh, what was the question again?
*fapfapfap*
Get out of my head!!!!
"What do you picture when you see the word?"
A young, tubby white guy in front of the computer, completely dressed, but with IT in his hand, and he's only got a semi.
Who's the retard now, Ann?
Are we allowed to say retard again?! How did I miss that?
Only when referring to Mr.Coulter (and GOPers in general).
Pussy pussy pussy
Marijuana
Pussy pussy
EDIT – MissTaken shrugs
Weird. I've been shot down several times on both of these in the last few days. Maybe male posters are held to a higher standard?
I know about Truck or Chud or whatever his name is but didn't know about pussy being verboten.
No idea. Very strange, indeed.
my comment has gone to moderation too.
Try catnip or valerian instead of weed, they love that shit!
Is that seventeen syllables? – 'cause I thought Haiku's had to have that many – but I love this one….
That was faptacular, I need a cigarette now, or a joint since that's legal in Washington State now.
People have been saying that since Palin plotzed Trig out of her pussy, but I'm not seeing it.
Now you're just rubbing it in. BLAH WONKETS GET ALL THE OPORTUNITEEZ!!!
Fucking Affirmative Action, that's what!
OK, my first reply to your comment got deleted, so I'll try saying that "plotz" is the most perfect sound effect imaginable for that.
Not sure on that one. I have figured out that comments using that word sometimes used to identify the ladybits, also as a modifier for cat, and the first name of Ms Galore in Goldfinger, go straight to moderation and the comment never shows up. Also, Sarah's youngest child's first name seems verboten as well.
I got moderated recently when I posted that the anti-abortionists had won, because they were making it reasonable to talk about "in case of rape or incest", like those should be the only criteria for "allowing" abortion. I never did understand why it was moderated, and I'm waiting to see if this post, too, gets disappeared.
Yeah, I had a post disappear when I suggested the GOP were planning to use those two methods to produce the "angry white men" one of them mentioned they were afeared of running out of.
I think pussy is ok- not the C word though
I just posted a comment containing the c word that means a place where you go to gamble, and it went to moderation.
???
look at that- you are right. I never used the P word for cat before- looks like it will not be approved. I got me some new Wonkette edumacation today
I posted something about casinos, and it went to moderation. Twice.
Well, yeah, I suppose you could refer to it as "gambling".
Hannity to Coulter: "I want to hear your thoughts."
Sean and I are really different.
You act as though they should start telling the truth, or something.
Got mooch?
Seriously, though. Coulter whining about the lowering of political discourse is going to blow a hole in the Irony Ether so big that the Earth will shift its axis and plunge spinning into the Sun.
Global warming? feh.
I believe they have also concluded the terrible, terrible wimminz vote went against them, but they are just sluts and should be ignored.
I do not understand how this kind of incompetence and stupidity could ever be rewarded with elective office.
All those white mins who voted for Rmoney are just gonna have to beat their wives until they vote "right". Next time.
"people attracted to the “allure of ‘free.’ "
I thought freedom was what this country was all about.
Freedom is just another word for "Whites Only."
Freedom is just another word for "being free of having to look at poors/ethnics/anything that offends our delicate sensibilities".
Great job of Latino outreach, Insannity and Mann.
Keep making the GOP more and more the bastion of racist white assholes.
Isn't "allure of the free" in the penultimate line of the Star Spangled Banner?
Treats? Did they say we get treats? Where are the fucking treats? I haven't gotten any. They must be getting stolled by the messicans and afrikans.
Yeah, free cupcakes at a local restaurant and free sangria day after election at a different place. I got nothing but WE WON!!!!
Here in Seattle, there is apparently free "Gay Marriage Yeah!" cake at a local coffee shop.
I think it's a mistake to summarize what these conservatives are talking about as a "Latino moocher train"
They are talking about Latino trains, and in their heads Latino trains make the sound "mooch mooch".
If they're truly the Party of Personal Responsibility, when do they give Adelson his money back? I don't think so either.
I don't want to alarm anyone, but the mannequin on the right moved.
Someone call Andrew McCarthy, stat!
I'd like to thank GOP cocksocket Roger Ailes for supplying his crackwhore base with so much pure rock that they can no longer process any reality any more, even when it would be painfully, obviously wise to do so to any other rational creature.
In a sense, lulling the morans into their deep, comforting, delusional bubble while simultaneously encouraging them to remove their weary dog-whistle filters and yelp, snarl, snap and fart away helped put this election week over the top. Never thought I'd say this, but: Thanks FOX NEWS!
White men have never wanted anything for free. Enslaving an entire race for free labor doesn't count.
I'm sure they'd respond that "enslaving an entire race is HARD work"…
Really? Free subscriptions to Allure? I've always wanted to know how to properly install a Bumpit.
Ann Coulter wrote a book called Mugged? Gee, I must have missed that one. I wonder it's all about.
Sequel soon: "Raped."
"I wonder it's all about."
Her.
A parody of Sin Nombre starring MannAssity would be rich.
Schadenfreude! (with apologies to the quad city djs)
Ann looks wonderful! Is the Westminster Show coming up? http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/images11/afghanTeddy0…
Who knew, there are dog transvestites
That doggie is cute- coulter is not
One is a bitch, the other is Ann Coulter.
Jennifer Aniston libel!
President Obama "set no boundar(ies) when it came to lying . . ." And this compared to Mitt (not to mention Hannity himself.) They surely live in a parallel universe I hope never to inhabit. The depth of their depravity is mind numbing.
If these two goat fucks are nervous now, wait until Julian Castro runs for Governor of Texas. He's the current Mayor of San Antonio and has a law degree from Harvard and a Bachelor's from Standford. I suspect in about 10 years he would make a fine Presidential candidate.
And a mother who cleaned white folks' houses. Just another example of what shiftless moochers "those people" are.
That poem on Liberty Island? Just fucking words, man!
"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore"
I'll point out that Coulter and Hannity have a point. No mention of brown people.
Also, Coulter and Hannity serve as visual aids for "wretched refuse".
Q: How many Ann Coulter's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: She's a cunt.
How did you get that word in here? I am being moderated for the P word for cat???
Of course the fact that Mitt Robme told Michigan and OHIO to go away and die when he wrote his big "Let Detroit Go Bankrupt" op-ed for the whole world to see had absolutely NOTHING to do with it. Losers never learn, do they.
I sure hope not!
$>: – ]
And a lot of those foreigners come over here from Puerto Rico. We really have to close the border with Puerto Rico.
But Cubans are OK? I never understood that.
They came here as virulent anti-Communists who voted straight Republican. Little Havana in Miami is a stronghold of the GOP. But data now show that the third generation of Cubans aren't hanging on to their grandparents' hatred of Castro and are just as likely to vote Democratic.
I wonder if Coulter and Hannity know that on Tuesday PR voters, for the first time, backed a ballot measure endorsing U.S. statehood. Good thing the Republicans aren't still in control of the DoD, or I'd be worried about the continued existence of Puerto Rico.
Captions: Talking point, lie, racist dog whistle, lie, talking point, lie, dog whistle, lie…
I'm thinking this "shiftless, lazy spics" narrative will bubble up to the surface during the upcoming debate on Puerto Rican statehood (in spite of the pro-statehood plank in the GOP platform), prompting yet more hemorrhaging of "Hispanic" votes in 2014.
Be fair to the GOP; they're not just blaming the loss on those lazy minorities, they also put the blame on the dirty unmarried sluts wanting to not get pregnant who therefore are pretty much whores.
Also the dirty unmarried sluts who are pregnant or have kids, who therefore are lazy welfare queens.
They're sluts and want to be taken care of big daddy government.
They're goin' off the rails on the Racist Train!
Interesting. They hate immigrants…yet neither Hannity or Coulter look particularly Native American.
And speaking of alienating the Latin vote – just wait 'til next year. In 2013, Florida will commemorate it's 500th anniversary. In April 1513, Don Juan Ponce de Leon, then-governor of Puerto Rico, landed on the east coast of Florida and became (for better or worse) the first documented European to land in what is now the continental United States. Despite the long-standing popular historical *myths*, "America" started in Florida – not Jamestown, not Plymouth Plantation – and it was started by Latins. When Hannity, Coulter, and the rest of these bigoted asshats understand that "America" was founded by Puerto Ricans, they should REALLY start foaming at the mouth and convulsing…
Viking libel!!!
Naaah. That's why I specified "documented" and "continental United States" (instead of "North America"). The Viking's colonized Newfoundland, up in present-day Canada.
Tostones with a side of Fuck You!
Hmm, if immigrants are coming to America and ending up on public assistance, maybe our Land of Opportunity engine is a little broken, and THAT's why they might be voting for the guy who wants to stimulate the economy by sending them and their children to college, rather than the guy who wants to stimulate the economy by permitting the wealthy to hunt the poor for sport? Just spitballing.
Also, even if we pretend that she's not talking about Latinos for a second, she sure seems to be saying that some people are constitutively poor (and implicitly: lazy and stupid) due to their national origins. I honestly don't think we even need the disambig that she's talking about Messkins, frankly. We can be generous, and assume that she's also talking about Asians, who broke for Obama 73%.
Are these two clowns fucking? and whose on top? Doe's she swallow? Doe's he squeal when she rams him in the ass? or just gurgle and moan?
These giggling fools are just awesome.
She did say "rammed down" ya know
OT: http://www2.timesdispatch.com/news/virginia-polit…
I'm sure this is not about Obama's win. Nuh-uh. Can't be!
McDonnell's still an asshole, is what I'm sayin'.
interesting that, nowhere in these "blame hispanics" rants does anyone say, "hey, maybe the 2016 republican primary debates shouldn't be 11 guys talking about just how high the wall between Mexico and the U.S. should be, how many machine guns we should put on it, and whether to put alligators or anacondas in the moat."
[whispers] piranhas
What the fuck is she babbling about? Between the two of them they have no clue.
Keep digging your party's grave by dumping on the fastest-growing ethnic group in America, wingnuts. By all means, keep right on.
Shut the fuck up and give me stuff.
Yeah, Hispanic people want to vote for somebody who will make their lives better instead of somebody who will make their lives drastically worse and call them lazy moochers in the bargain.
Go understand people, huh?
Can't explain that!
I'm picturing sharks with cameras and lasers on them.
a good thing about this election is that 51% of america now knows how to spell 'schadenfreude' without looking it up.
And my word correct thingie, too.
Anne Coulter tiene cara de yegua y Sean Hannity es un hijo de puta y chulo. First, latinos were terrorists and now we're commie-socialists. Perhaps we could have a Puerto Rican mob wait outside of the Fox News Channel building and beat the crap out of these two assholes. I'm really getting tired of these crackers. You lost on Tuesday night because your candidate and his policies sucked, besides being a lying, arrogant rat bastard son of a trollop and her pimp.
My Spanish is extremely sketchy; did you call Hannity the offspring of a whore and a goat?
Actually, whore and pimp.
So now Mittens would have won if it was 1980?
What does Mittens know about Foreign Policy? During the debate preparation in October, Romney Advisers had to explain to Mitt that "Manual Labor" was not the Secretary of Commerce of Honduras.
Can anyone guess what Ann's new book will be titled?
Mugged Again !
Mugged 2…. ?
Mooching off of the US Welfare State is how Carlos Slim got his start.
Ann Coulter is responsible for the shortage of D batteries on the east coast.
God, Ann Coulter is just fuckin' awful.
Hannity longs for 1950s Mississippi.
Cubans are the only immigrants that get put on the dole as soon as they steep foot in this country and they vote republican.
is the gov. giving us free chimichangas or not/?What about some chipotle ranch?
I keep asking about those phones, but free bean and cheese tacos for breakfast would be an acceptable substitute.
Grab some popcorn, folks. The intervention within the GOTP is going to be really entertaining.
I'm too stoned to read this right now. Can you provide me a summary in Spanish, just as soon as I'm back from moseying down to the mailbox to collect my government check?
Where's my cinnamon girl? I phone banked, went out predawn to put door hangers, contributed to Warren's campaign, so where is my cinnamon girl?
"….this “embarrasses” Sean Hannity" ? Let me just observe here that being Sean Hannity should be embarrassing to the Nth DeFuckingGree all by itself. BTW-No way am I clicking on that vid, Kris….having a pretty good day so far.
As a latino male, I have an inkling that if I somehow had the misfortune of meeting either Coulter or Hannity, they'd probably have the gaul to refer to me as "essay" and "mang."
The minions with flaming torches are starting to turn on her. Popcorn anyone?
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/ann-coulter/2012/11/…
Oh my delusional transsexual God! Who died and left Ann Coulter alive?
They just ran the wrong candidate this year, not conservative enough. Next time if they run Little Ricky Santorum…..have him dress up in silver cardboard….marching around the stage singing, "I'm a little tea pot short and stout…….here is my handle…..here is my….."
If they do that and keep their winning platform……they will do just fine. Carry on……
It is so encouraging to watch these nitwits double down on the racist plank of the republican party platform. I guess they think that every non-white "taker" who is raking their lawn, driving their cab, cleaning their hotel room, carrying their luggage, doesn't have a TV or is as stupid as white Americans who are un or under employed and blame it on the other un or under employed who are, oh let's see, not white.
Bad news for these two clowns, but good news for everyone else: The economy will be BOOMING in two years.
Thanks for keeping me up to date on Fox Newz crap. I never watch it because why? But what the Repugs should be realizing is that Willard Mittens was a deeply flawed candidate whose resume was "Governor of a small New England state for 4 years." Period. 47th in job creation during his term. So adios, Mitt, and take your creepy sons and bitchy wife with ya.
But wait, Sen Lindsay Graham was on a Sunday show this morning talking about how hard working the Latinos are (and pro life and pro family) and are, thus, natural constutuents for GOP.
Stealin are snarks!
It only leth me thay puthy.
"intrinsically uncivil"
I like that.
Fuck off.
Whenever I see PJ O'Rourke's name or image in print, I think of somebody or other who said "orourke" sounds like a fart in a bathtub.
Wise ass.
Now that gets an upfist.
It's not our browns that are the problem. It's all those other browns.
" I'm running for office, for Pete's sake."
Let's make it easy: no more votes for Catholics. I think this will please both sides.
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