better than rush limbaugh still?

Ann Coulter And Sean Hannity Jump On The Latino Moocher Train

AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT THE ELECTION! (This will be your life for the next few days, get used to it.) Here are Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity, giving us THEIR opinions about why the GOP got their ass handed to them on Tuesday, and you will never guess what they have to say. Or maybe you will, because SHOCKER, this is all the fault of the Latinos who want handouts. (Yes, THOSE Latinos, the same ones that the GOP is frantically trying to reach by parading Marco Rubio around.) Also, the fact that Obama is an incumbent president? THAT’s what made it difficult to pry him out of the White House. Romney was a “strong candidate,” but not quite strong enough to unseat an incumbent, because that NEVER happens. (Except to Jimmy Carter and GHW Bush, but never mind that.) See, the country is changing, says Hannity. And it’s changing into a group of people attracted to the “allure of ‘free.'”

No, Hannity is not talking about people who get to set up tax-free $100,000,000 IRAs, or create tax-free $100,000,000 gifts to their sons; he’s talking about THOSE PEOPLE. Those Latino people who want the government to take care of them. Which makes sense, because who doesn’t think socialist commie cradle to grave security when they think of Mexico, which is where a plurality of Hispanic Americans come from? Anyway, it seems to Sean Hannity that this is the problem. A bunch of spics who want free stuff, and voted for Obama. If we weren’t filled with immigrants from the “Third World,” we would have a white man in the White House.

The other problem is the Obama campaign, which knew no boundaries when it came to “slandering, smearing, besmirching, and attacking” a nice guy (he means Mitt Romney): this will only get worse because Obama has set the bar so low, and this “embarrasses” Sean Hannity, who is so very disappointed in his country and the president.

But it’s OK! The GOP will just work towards 2014 and convince those stupid Hispanics that the GOP is good for them.

(And yes, soon your Wonkette will get sick of posting Fox News videos, but for the short term, it is fascinating to watch the Party of Personal Responsibility perfect their Finger-Pointing Blame-Gaming.)

[Fox News]

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson
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    1. Gleem McShineys

      Hannity repeats louder this time so it is sure to be understood, "Yo keepo el sexingo el chickenio!"

  1. PuckStopsHere

    Just for shits and giggles, let's set the top marginal tax rate at 92% like it was under the Republicans in the '50s and see if we run out of money.

    1. T3rbo

      we will, because MEXICANS KEEP STEALING IT. Oh fuck, I wish this post-election moment could last forever.

    2. mbatch

      But don't you understand? If we do that all the rich people will run away to places that love them more. Like, say, the Bahamas. Or possibly Belize. Somalia?

  2. Callyson

    people attracted to the “allure of ‘free.’

    Aren't these the same people who constantly go on about how important American freedom is?

    /back to FFS

    1. Schmannnity

      All those Mexican gentlemen at the Home Depot parking lot are in line for government handouts.

      1. reliefsinn

        Oh, and here I thought all the ladies and gentlemen you see in Florida, riding the bus from Miami to the Keys, were working as gardeners and domestics.
        It turns out they are getting free stuff, somewhere?

          1. Butch_Wagstaff

            You better! I'm getting tired of all you free loaders on the Intertubes stealin' my snark and passing it off as your own! It just makes me want to go Galt!

    1. PugglesRule

      Mom of trans-person here. The word tranny makes baby Jeebus cry. Well, maybe not baby Jeebus, but me. *sniffles* End of Sensitivity 101 post.

      Still wondering why any ghey person wouldn't want to smack Ann Coulter, given how much she obviously hates LGBT people.

      1. Grief_Lessons

        Sorry to make you cry, I didn't know this was an area of sensitivity. It's too late to edit my post, so please accept my new enlightenment by way of apology.

        1. BlueJoubert

          I didn't feel any insensitivity from your post. I'm not Puggles, of course, but let me put it this way: It's kind of like 'queer.' I love the word, and never hesitate to use it, but I am queer. The same way only its own people can legitimately use the 'N' word, which I never, ever would use, especially since I was raised (most of the hours of every day) by a black second Mother who took NO SHIT FROM NOBODY, especially me and my siblings. (God, I miss her since she passed.. Now I'M teary!)

          But I digress. You can call me queer without hurting my feelings if you are the kind of person I can call a breeder without hurting yours. Puggles daughter probably feels the same.

          EDIT: Sorry to assume Puggle's is the mother of a person born with male genitalia who is trans.

          1. Grief_Lessons

            Meh. Questions of who may call whom what, and whether hateful words can ever be used non-hatefully just lead to unsatisfactory infinite regresses. I figure that in life you're better off apologising if you've inadvertently caused someone distress. That goes double in an intrinsically uncivil medium like the Internet comment thread.

          2. tessiee

            John: Queer?
            Homer: Yeah, and that's another thing! I resent you people using that word. That's our word for making fun of you! We need it!!

          3. PugglesRule

            Thank you, BlueJoubert, and my trans child is female-to-male, in the process of transitioning.

            And yes, yes, yes about the use of queer etc. You own it, but I would not presume to use it. And actually my trans kid is a gay Republican, so he says all sorts of stuff that breaks my brain, but most of it is political.

      2. Callyson

        I'm straight, and I'd like to give her a good bitch-slapping.

        Yeah yeah yeah, with crappy ratings and book sales…

      3. Butch_Wagstaff

        I'm probably repeating myself in saying that all the transgendered people I know are amazingly smart, gifted & talented, and have tremendous empathy & tolerance. Qualities that Ann lacks. That's what offends me most about quips that she's a "tranny".

        1. Jukesgrrl

          That's something I should be considering. Because, in fact, it does square with my personal experience. OK, so Ann's just got The Stupid, an inordinately large Adam's apple, and is a disgrace to womanhood.

      4. starfanglednut

        Fellow trans ally ( and gender queer myself) here. I have in the past also registered my distresss a the use of this term on this site. People were very responsive, and it all but disappeared for quite some time. Every once in a while it pops back up, but as grief lessons made so clear, no one here uses the term out of malice. It's always tricky to balance sensititivity and respect with the natural (and beloved) tendency commenters here to ridicule everything and everybody, and hold nothing sacred. Its a little like all the fat jokes about Christy. That said, my trans friends would be deeply hurt and offended to be compared to Ann Coulter, and the talent in this community is more than adequate to find better ways to insult conservatives. Rest assured there are many trans allies here.

        1. PugglesRule

          Thanks, starfanglednut, I figured this was a generally trans-friendly place, since we spend so much time sporking homophobes.

    2. fishwharf

      Ann Coulter is not a tranny. She may have a tragically prominent Adam's apple, but the object of countless Republican hetro studs fantasies couldn't possibly be a tranny. Could she?

  3. Hammiepants

    Yes, GOP, because the best way to get someone to vote for your crackerass racist mofo agenda is to tell that portion of the electorate they are layabout freeloaders here illegally to get "privileges" like "food" and "shelter" and "jobs".

    1. Butch_Wagstaff

      The GOP decided to insult as much of the electorate as possible. How could that not be a winning strategy?

          1. Jukesgrrl

            Or the women who just want decent birth control, dammit, without someone (you know who you are, Rush) calling them a whore on the Clear Channels.

    2. decentcitizen

      I don't know who they're talking about. I know a bunch of Hispanics (or Spanish speaking browns) and they work their asses off from daylight to dusk. Do the people at Fox News know something I don't?

      1. Jukesgrrl

        And how about the Latinos sin papeles who work those three jobs and have Social Security deducted, yet are unable to collect it in their old age? I'd say Hannity is stealing from THEM.

  4. qwerty42

    Ahhhhhhhh …. I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning. It smells like … Victory!
    (were we this bad? … probably)

    1. Katydid

      No we were not. Do not forget how high and steep Bullshit Mountain(copyright Jon Stewart) is. They really do live in an alternate reality bubble, and it's never been clearer.

      They were handed their asses on Tuesday, and they never saw it coming.

      1. qwerty42

        …and they never saw it coming.
        (guffaw). I know. It was all over the media, but they were astonished. Bookmakers in London knew but they did not. They have lived for years with only the most limited awareness of the outside world. So, in 2014 will they be whining about "taking their country back". ("their" country, mind you.) But they do seem to feel there was nothing wrong with their message. And, after all, with two winsome candidates, a platform that was widely admired, and acting as the representatives of a much-beloved political party, how could they possibly loose? Only teh Acornz. or the SEIU thugs. Or the New Black Panthers. Or the vote fraud. or Chris Christie. Or hurricane Sandy. Moochers and takers. Nothing wrong with the message. At all.

        1. BadKitty904

          You have to wonder if a group that's *THAT* clueless and incompetent should be allowed to run the country…

        2. NellCote71

          I especially like the detail that Rmoney had arranged a fireworks display over Boston Harbor. That and the President-elect website. Totes clueless.

          1. Jukesgrrl

            To give credit where it's due, that website was probably some low-level minion actually doing his or her job properly. But the fireworks display … BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I hope Zambelli (or whomever) has a no-return policy.

      2. ButthurtWingers2012

        The best part is they don't seem to acknowledge that it HAPPENED. I read Boehner and McConnell's statements and high-lariously enough they seem to think Bamz is going to 'comprimise' by following Mittwitt's bullshit agenda. Keep fucking that chicken, wingnuts…just keep denying the will of the people to feed your fat pig rich constituents…

    2. HogeyeGrex

      Well, in '04 I seem to remember bitching about a real "lowering of the bar" in the swiftboating of Kerry. After that, and the Purple Heart fucking band-aids, these people have exactly zero room to complain about anything anybody says about one of their candidates, ever.

      In comparison, calling a tax cheat a tax cheat, or a vulture capitalist a vulture capitalist seems pretty damned tame.

    1. Geminisunmars

      I think there are some videos of Meatloaf singing at a Romney rally that would help scrub that sound out. On second thought, maybe shooting would be easier.

    2. bikerlaureate

      Her fame is finite. The day is coming when no one will ever be bothered by her pathetic schtick again.

  5. Joshua Norton

    the Obama campaign, which knew no boundaries when it came to “slandering, smearing, besmirching, and attacking” a nice guy

    I believe the tea baggers call that "campaigning".

    1. Kopite74011

      "Or projection."

      Doubly true, since the Obama campaign didn't say anything about Mitt that Newtie, Santorum, Perry, various and sundry Foxbots and/or Wingnut Radio hosts didn't say about him during the primaries.

      And a week or so from now, when the narrative predictably and unanimously on the right becomes "Romney wasn't a true conservative," they'll be pretty much doing it again.

      Fucking unscrupulous fucks.

  6. MaxNeanderthal

    Er, reality check. You ARE filled with immigrants from the third world, who wanted free stuff (land). If you weren't, you'd be be A Man Afraid of His Horses.If these apes were any denser, light would bend around them..

    1. PugglesRule

      If they were any denser, they would suck everything around them into them, which might not be such a bad idea.

  7. MLite

    They learn nothing. No apology. They just "forgot" that incumbents have an advantage. You know Coulter is scared when she tries to sound quiet and reasonable.

  8. Dumbedup

    All I know is, if I don't get fresh Schadenfreudin every hour now, I start to get sick, because I'm schaden fuckin' addicted!!! Happy Wonkette? Now I'm hooked and if I can't get it here I'll be out on the streets, looking for republican misery. Thanks a lot.

    1. cousinitt

      Hell, I've already got tiks for the next NECKCAR race.

      Thank you for allowing me to publicly admit my problem. OK, step two…

    2. Toomush_Infer

      Dear Wonkette: I love my Schaden, but I'm not hooked on the freude, can I enjoy them seperately?…

    3. Geminisunmars

      Fortunately there is so very much of it in the air right now, that it will be quite a while before you'll have to go cold turkey. You won't have worry until 2014.

  9. coolhandnuke

    Watching all the angry white people try and dance on this Soulless Train puts a bounce in my step.

    1. BadKitty904

      The Entitlement Express seems to have jumped the track, after 236 years. And they Just. Can't. Understand. Why.

  10. Toomush_Infer

    So, is this the same Anne Coulter that said: "Romney is the weakest of the candidates, and, if we run him, he will lose…?….is this the same one?…

  11. Callyson

    Did not think I wanted to sit through six minutes of this drivel, but watching these two whine about how *Obama* was the liar is giving me a much needed ROTFLMAO moment or ten…

  12. Toomush_Infer

    BTW, I love how they plan to woo these Latinos!!!!….the fucking moochers….we need them….

    1. docterry6973

      I see that a Texas GOP official – just county level but still – now wants to secede to get away from the "maggots" who voted for Obama. I wonder if they will herd Texans who voted for Obama into boxcars and ship them to Montana.

      1. Toomush_Infer

        Based on earlier rightwing paranoid fantasies today, I'm afraid it's the GOP folks who will be eating hobo beans on boxcars in Montana…

      2. BaldarTFlagass

        It's going to be really expensive to bury all the bodies of the 3.4 million Texans who voted Obama. Maybe they could get a federal grant. Wait, what?

        1. Chet Kincaid_

          Every county is now a soverrain nation!1! All niggers except those on the high school football team and all spics that ain't in the restaurant bidness GET THE FUCK OUT!1!1!!!1!!

          1. Toomush_Infer

            And the same goes for all you Messicans who aren't mowing my lawn or cleaning my toilet or washing my dishes or making my supper or watching my kids or….anyway, you know who you are, loafers…

      3. Callyson

        Texas GOP official – just county level but still – now wants to secede

        Oooh, you know how to turn me on…

      4. Jennyjen798

        Hmm, sounds like a guy who should study more Texas history, especially that part where it mentions Texas v. Smith. Geez, didn't he learn anything in the multiple years of Texas History?!!?!!!!

  13. mrpuma2u

    Wow these right wing turds cannot get enough of alienating the fastest growing voter demographic, can they?

  14. HRH_Maddie

    Keep talking, assholes. Our prospects for 2016 (and 2020 and 2024, for that matter) look better and better every time they open their dumb mouths and whine about the brown people wanting free pinto beans from the government.

    1. finallyhappy

      California Tortilla gave out a free taco on election day if you said Vote(because giving it out to those who had an I voted sticker is illegal)

  15. Dumbedup

    Also, what is up with Hannity's hair? Has he looked in a mirror? What is that look trying to say.

  16. viennawoods13

    Wow. they really are determined to continue to paint themselves into an ever-shrinking old white Xtian corner, aren't they? Good luck with that.

    1. Chet Kincaid_

      They're just running on muscle-memory at this point, like when a guy keeps rising for the slam-dunk after the ball has already been slapped out of his hands.

  17. Callyson

    "…they're never going to become president, they've got to stop running for president."

    Too true, Coultergeist.

    Of course, where she is referring to a few now-forgotten GOP primary candidates, I am referring to the wingnut universe…

  18. Katydid

    I will forever be grateful for Jon Stewart for this:

    Bullshit Mountain

    Nothing else explains the Fox News bubble as well.

    Also too, keep fucking that chicken.

  19. BaldarTFlagass

    My Honduran "exchange student," who works harder than any white handyman I have ever hired, begs to differ.
    Or at least he might, if he could get online and speak English.

  20. Callyson

    "Romney ran a classy campaign"

    Mr Hannity, your Jeep is waiting to take you to your next assignment…

  21. mustangsavvy

    Yes, this is definitely a good plan to win back the Latino vote. Kinda like keying your ex's car in hopes that they will see you as "spontaneous" and "fun".

    Also – I never realised Hannity had a shame level. It really is a new day in America!

    1. kittensdontlie

      I'm not sure what a smoocher train is, but sounds like someone will be kissin' a lot of brown butts.

    1. docterry6973

      As was said back in the day, grab 'em by the balls and their hearts and minds will follow. Which is why Saigon is not named Ho Chi Minh city today.

  22. BaldarTFlagass

    A little Zappa seems appropriate here.

    What's the ugliest
    Part of your body?
    Some say your nose
    Some say your toes
    But I think it's YOUR MIND

  23. VodkaGoGo

    Pre election: "THERE TAKIN ALL ARE JOBS!!!"
    Post election: "THEY ONLY WANT HANDOUTS!!!"
    Neither is accurate but it doesn't mean you can have both. You have to pick one guys.

    1. Toomush_Infer

      No, this is what is so great about the Faux/Rove schizophrenia – you can always not have it both ways!!!!….

      1. VodkaGoGo

        They somehow already managed to forget Barry's first term, according to my facebook feed America died on Tuesday.

  24. actor212

    It's always about them but Coulter ought to take some personal responsibility here. She didn't deliver the undead vote, which is why Romney lost.

  25. Botlrokit

    I maintain that Fox's great ratings, when compared to cable stations like MSNBC, are a) representative of what their fans want, and b) reflect the fact that liberals read.

  26. mustangsavvy

    "the Obama campaign, which knew no boundaries when it came to “slandering, smearing, besmirching, and attacking” a nice guy"

    Yes, how dare they be…COMPETENT at their objectives of WINNING?!?!?!? Also, how dare they tell the truth about a man who had no discernible empathy or compassion except towards those made of money just like him. That's entirely un-American. Except when white guys do it. In that case, it's Freedom and Liberty and the such as.

    1. bikerlaureate

      All those lies and his past behavior don't fit with any conventional definition of "nice". Those with a financial motive will do all they can to recast Rmoney as a well-meaning, salt-of-the-earth buffoon. Nevar ferget!

      1. HRH_Maddie

        AHHHH! So adorable. One day, when life and the MSM get to be too much, I'm going to buy a farm in Iowa and surround myself with pigs.

  27. SayItWithWookies

    Let's see — they've blamed Ted Kennedy's 1965 immigration act, the immigrants themselves, freeloaders in general, the mean, mean Obama campaign that was so horribly mean to the party of Karl Rove and Lee Atwater — who have they yet to blame? Oh yeah — themselves and their shitty campaign and its shitty party and its shitty homophobic, legalistic, racist pro-rich-people, war-all-the-time, drown government in the bathtub agenda. Today's conservatives live inside a disco ball with all the mirrors on the inside.

  28. widestanceromance

    The 'party of personal responsibility for you, endless whining for me' is really outdoing themselves this week.

    In other words, they lost control and I know I like it.

    1. BoroPrimorac

      I'm trying to see if any Spanish tv station has picked up all the anti Latino shit the right has spewed the past couple of days and I haven't found anything.

  29. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I love how Hannity is "embarrassed" for the President because he ran a negative campaign and dared to point out that Romney was a two-faced liar who only cared about the rich.

    After all, we all remember just how pure Romney was during the primaries, where he didn't attack any of his opponents. And how he told the truth about Obama moving Jeep production to China. And how he was honest about his tax plan. And, like everything.

    How dare the Democrats smear this poor man with the truth!

    1. finallyhappy

      FUCK Hannity- WE WON!!!!!! I never watch Fox- ever- except twitter feed sent me to see Rove having his nutty breakdown about Ohio- best TV ever. And the next day I watched 15 minutes of Fox and Friends which was exactly like the SNL skits. by the way NATE!!! and WE WON!!!!! . I will be posting this at least once a day for months to come

    2. bikerlaureate

      Shit, even Pat Boone was lured into doing Rmoney ads here in FL about the $714B "taken out of" Medicare. No Amercian had any qualms about running that lie into the dirt.

    1. bikerlaureate

      They're fans of rendition, correct?
      If the Dems were as nefarious as they say, these hucksters would be two of many already in supermax – with audio from their own con-artist-diarrhea appearances piped in 24/7.

  30. rickmaci

    Uh, can we go back to those laws of elections. "Tie goes to the white guy…"? At least (s)he is no longer trying to hide that (s)he is a raving racist.

    1. VodkaGoGo

      That one threw me for a loop too. Like "duh, tie goes to the white guy because the white guy gets dibs" and then they just move the fuck on to forgetting about the incumbent rule, like that is also a real thing. Huh?

  31. LetUsBray

    Did Coultergeist have a bad face lift or a botox overdose or something? Her face looks even less human than usual.

  32. T3rbo

    What the fuck is up with the "NON WHITES ON WELFARE VOTED FOR SANTA CLAUS" meme? It's the dumbest shit ever, which is what makes it a great political strategy.

    Illegal immigrants can't fucking vote. but whatever.
    Most people on welfare are white, but whatever.

    This is the best self fulfilling prophecy ever. Alienate blacks and Latinos by scapegoating them, as loudly as possible. Force them to vote for the guy who does not alienate or scapegoat them. Repeat.

    1. Jennyjen798

      I have no idea but it's all over the fucking place. My facebook feed blew up with omg free cell phones, food stamp phones, welfare phones. "Those" lazies are going to get free shit but not MEEEEE! Really, you're crying over a 99 cent phone?

      That's how I know it HAD to have been on Fox, too much of a kool aid drinking coincidence.

    1. SexySmurf

      Mittens received .3% of the popular vote and 45 electoral votes LESS than John Kerry (or as I'm now calling him "Senator Mendoza Line"). I would die of fucking embarrassment if I was Mittens.

      1. tessiee

        POINT THREE percent of the popular vote, not even three percent?
        any chance you have a link that I can masturbate to click on?

  33. StillGoinGreen

    Isn't W's nephew a beaner? You know the one – the one who's applying for future government housing in Texas.

      1. Jennyjen798

        Yes the little brown nutcase who broke into his ex's parents house and drove his car all through their yard. But hey he's a bush and he's handsome and mexican which means he's going to be competitive. =/

  34. rocktonsam

    possibly Mann and Sha-yawn have lost mucho credibility in the real world as well as the world they live in.

    Didn't they both hate mittens before they loved him?

    but they both always hate the blah guy

  35. MaxNeanderthal

    I don't think they've quite got it that if they shit on the Latino vote, Bazza "will eat you up, sick you out, and grout his fucking wet room with you"
    For evah, and evah, etc.

  36. Katydid

    This is one of the funniest things I've heard all day….they are just building a wall around Bullshit Mountain to keep them in, not to keep us out. They are giving up.

    Glenn Beck is suggesting people buy farmland and ammunition, and that people check the election maps by county to see where to move to to be surrounded by like-minded people, and to particularly get the hell out of the east.

    1. SuspectedDemocrat

      Yeah, and the next major drought and those rugged individualists will be begging for federal farm aid.

      1. Butch_Wagstaff

        That's actually starting to happen in the area where I grew up. The farmers bitch about people getting "hand outs" but when their crops fail (thanks to climate change, which they also don't believe in), they start applying for those "handouts".

    2. finallyhappy

      I agree with Glenn- move away, morons. Of course, farming is pretty tough so they will go broke and starve and want stuff

  37. BaldarTFlagass

    They should get Cheech and Chong to come on and play that popular favorite, "Mexican Americans."
    Mexican Americans don't like to just get into gang fights,
    they like flowers and music and white girls named Debbie too.
    Mexican Americans are named Chata and Chella and chemma
    and have a son in law named Jeff.
    Mexican Americans don't like to get up early in the morning
    but they have to so they do it real slow.
    Mexican Americans love education so they go to night school
    and take Spanish and get a B.
    Mexican Americans love their Nana's and their Nono's and their
    Nina's and their Nino's…….. Nano Nano Nina Nono!
    Mexican Americans don't like to go to the movies where the
    dude has to wear contact lenses to make his blue eyes brown
    cause don't it make my brown eyes blue…..
    Beaners.. Are Gonna Kick you in the Face

  38. weejee

    ♪♫ Para mierda del toro
    Para mierda del toro
    Tan jodidamente poco de gracia
    Bamba, bullshit
    Bamba, bullshit
    Bamba, bullshit, bam ♫♪

  39. T3rbo

    Christie 2016: Stop being lazy and stealing shit and vote for me, you dirty fucking mexicans and blahs.
    There, I wrote the GOP slogan for them. Victory!

  40. JustPixelz

    They focus on latinos because everyone knows they're all illegal.

    The latest GOP voter ID law: The name on your ID cannot end in a vowel or a "Z".

    Christianity promises eternal life in paradise. Which is full of free stuff. Moochers.

          1. SorosBot

            They can go back to the real old-time racism, where the filthy guidos, mics and eastern Europeans weren't white either.

    1. tessiee

      "The latest GOP voter ID law: The name on your ID cannot end in a vowel or a "Z". "

      Which would disenfranchise both Corsi and Orsi.

  41. Faygelah

    OK. I couldn't get past the first minute of this. But already Ann Coulter is backpedaling saying that even though she was wrong about Mitt winning, in "most of the states" she said he was going to win he either lost by a thin margin or "they were still counting ballots at 3 in the morning." Were there ANY states that had 100% counted by 3:00AM? I love how the party of personal responsibility keeps moving the goalposts whenever it suits them rather than simply admitting they were wrong.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      I distinctly remember Miss Thang saying less than a year ago, "If we don't pick Chris Christie, Mitt Romney will be our nominee and we will lose." When did she change her tune?

    1. Steverino247

      I thought I saw "Santa Fe" embossed on her forehead from the last time one hit her in the face…

  42. Left_Leftie

    Is Man Coulter doing a Beyonce impersonation with all that fake blond hair added to her usual lack luster locks?

  43. Jerri

    So…OT, (or maybe not since this and posts like it are helping so many of us fap till our souls are drained and then fap some more) BUT I have a question/confession about the whole fappy meme.

    What do you picture when you see the word? I'm not asking for sexy reasons. (Sorry). I'm asking because it just occurred to me that whenever I see *fapfapfap* posted in the comments anywhere, I immediately, for a nanosecond, and without conscious intent, picture a nondescript 30-something white guy on his unmade twin bed, shirtless but in gray striped boxers, just lazily slapping his flaccid wiener against his upper thigh through the boxer hole thingy while staring off into the middle distance.

    But that is not what fapping is.

    And that concludes this Friday's Wonkette True Confessions. TGIF.

          1. tessiee

            Whenever I see PJ O'Rourke's name or image in print, I think of somebody or other who said "orourke" sounds like a fart in a bathtub.

    1. Butch_Wagstaff

      If I see *fapfapfap* posted, I picture many scenarios, usually involving the hubby and/or guys with a bit of maturity and fur (especially fur) and…um…oh, what was the question again?


    2. tessiee

      "What do you picture when you see the word?"

      A young, tubby white guy in front of the computer, completely dressed, but with IT in his hand, and he's only got a semi.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          Weird. I've been shot down several times on both of these in the last few days. Maybe male posters are held to a higher standard?

        2. Toomush_Infer

          Is that seventeen syllables? – 'cause I thought Haiku's had to have that many – but I love this one….

        3. Wile E. Quixote

          That was faptacular, I need a cigarette now, or a joint since that's legal in Washington State now.

        1. tessiee

          OK, my first reply to your comment got deleted, so I'll try saying that "plotz" is the most perfect sound effect imaginable for that.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Not sure on that one. I have figured out that comments using that word sometimes used to identify the ladybits, also as a modifier for cat, and the first name of Ms Galore in Goldfinger, go straight to moderation and the comment never shows up. Also, Sarah's youngest child's first name seems verboten as well.

        1. Geminisunmars

          I got moderated recently when I posted that the anti-abortionists had won, because they were making it reasonable to talk about "in case of rape or incest", like those should be the only criteria for "allowing" abortion. I never did understand why it was moderated, and I'm waiting to see if this post, too, gets disappeared.

          1. shelwood46

            Yeah, I had a post disappear when I suggested the GOP were planning to use those two methods to produce the "angry white men" one of them mentioned they were afeared of running out of.

          1. tessiee

            I just posted a comment containing the c word that means a place where you go to gamble, and it went to moderation.

        2. finallyhappy

          look at that- you are right. I never used the P word for cat before- looks like it will not be approved. I got me some new Wonkette edumacation today

  44. HogeyeGrex

    Seriously, though. Coulter whining about the lowering of political discourse is going to blow a hole in the Irony Ether so big that the Earth will shift its axis and plunge spinning into the Sun.

    Global warming? feh.

  45. qwerty42

    I believe they have also concluded the terrible, terrible wimminz vote went against them, but they are just sluts and should be ignored.
    I do not understand how this kind of incompetence and stupidity could ever be rewarded with elective office.

    1. Geminisunmars

      All those white mins who voted for Rmoney are just gonna have to beat their wives until they vote "right". Next time.

  46. BaldarTFlagass

    "people attracted to the “allure of ‘free.’ "

    I thought freedom was what this country was all about.

      1. emmelemm

        Freedom is just another word for "being free of having to look at poors/ethnics/anything that offends our delicate sensibilities".

  47. Geminisunmars

    Treats? Did they say we get treats? Where are the fucking treats? I haven't gotten any. They must be getting stolled by the messicans and afrikans.

    1. finallyhappy

      Yeah, free cupcakes at a local restaurant and free sangria day after election at a different place. I got nothing but WE WON!!!!

  48. Both Sides Do It

    I think it's a mistake to summarize what these conservatives are talking about as a "Latino moocher train"

    They are talking about Latino trains, and in their heads Latino trains make the sound "mooch mooch".

  49. GeorgiaBurning

    If they're truly the Party of Personal Responsibility, when do they give Adelson his money back? I don't think so either.

  50. Slapwow

    I'd like to thank GOP cocksocket Roger Ailes for supplying his crackwhore base with so much pure rock that they can no longer process any reality any more, even when it would be painfully, obviously wise to do so to any other rational creature.

    In a sense, lulling the morans into their deep, comforting, delusional bubble while simultaneously encouraging them to remove their weary dog-whistle filters and yelp, snarl, snap and fart away helped put this election week over the top. Never thought I'd say this, but: Thanks FOX NEWS!

  51. Caveat_Echinos

    White men have never wanted anything for free. Enslaving an entire race for free labor doesn't count.

  52. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Ann Coulter wrote a book called Mugged? Gee, I must have missed that one. I wonder it's all about.

  53. BlueJoubert

    President Obama "set no boundar(ies) when it came to lying . . ." And this compared to Mitt (not to mention Hannity himself.) They surely live in a parallel universe I hope never to inhabit. The depth of their depravity is mind numbing.

  54. fartknocker

    If these two goat fucks are nervous now, wait until Julian Castro runs for Governor of Texas. He's the current Mayor of San Antonio and has a law degree from Harvard and a Bachelor's from Standford. I suspect in about 10 years he would make a fine Presidential candidate.

    1. NellCote71

      And a mother who cleaned white folks' houses. Just another example of what shiftless moochers "those people" are.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore"

      I'll point out that Coulter and Hannity have a point. No mention of brown people.

  55. BlueStateLibel

    Of course the fact that Mitt Robme told Michigan and OHIO to go away and die when he wrote his big "Let Detroit Go Bankrupt" op-ed for the whole world to see had absolutely NOTHING to do with it. Losers never learn, do they.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        They came here as virulent anti-Communists who voted straight Republican. Little Havana in Miami is a stronghold of the GOP. But data now show that the third generation of Cubans aren't hanging on to their grandparents' hatred of Castro and are just as likely to vote Democratic.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      I wonder if Coulter and Hannity know that on Tuesday PR voters, for the first time, backed a ballot measure endorsing U.S. statehood. Good thing the Republicans aren't still in control of the DoD, or I'd be worried about the continued existence of Puerto Rico.

  56. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Captions: Talking point, lie, racist dog whistle, lie, talking point, lie, dog whistle, lie…

  57. Guppy

    I'm thinking this "shiftless, lazy spics" narrative will bubble up to the surface during the upcoming debate on Puerto Rican statehood (in spite of the pro-statehood plank in the GOP platform), prompting yet more hemorrhaging of "Hispanic" votes in 2014.

  58. SorosBot

    Be fair to the GOP; they're not just blaming the loss on those lazy minorities, they also put the blame on the dirty unmarried sluts wanting to not get pregnant who therefore are pretty much whores.

    1. tessiee

      Also the dirty unmarried sluts who are pregnant or have kids, who therefore are lazy welfare queens.

  59. BadKitty904

    Interesting. They hate immigrants…yet neither Hannity or Coulter look particularly Native American.

    And speaking of alienating the Latin vote – just wait 'til next year. In 2013, Florida will commemorate it's 500th anniversary. In April 1513, Don Juan Ponce de Leon, then-governor of Puerto Rico, landed on the east coast of Florida and became (for better or worse) the first documented European to land in what is now the continental United States. Despite the long-standing popular historical *myths*, "America" started in Florida – not Jamestown, not Plymouth Plantation – and it was started by Latins. When Hannity, Coulter, and the rest of these bigoted asshats understand that "America" was founded by Puerto Ricans, they should REALLY start foaming at the mouth and convulsing…

      1. BadKitty904

        Naaah. That's why I specified "documented" and "continental United States" (instead of "North America"). The Viking's colonized Newfoundland, up in present-day Canada.

  60. Incitefully_Joe

    Hmm, if immigrants are coming to America and ending up on public assistance, maybe our Land of Opportunity engine is a little broken, and THAT's why they might be voting for the guy who wants to stimulate the economy by sending them and their children to college, rather than the guy who wants to stimulate the economy by permitting the wealthy to hunt the poor for sport? Just spitballing.

    Also, even if we pretend that she's not talking about Latinos for a second, she sure seems to be saying that some people are constitutively poor (and implicitly: lazy and stupid) due to their national origins. I honestly don't think we even need the disambig that she's talking about Messkins, frankly. We can be generous, and assume that she's also talking about Asians, who broke for Obama 73%.

  61. anteater

    Are these two clowns fucking? and whose on top? Doe's she swallow? Doe's he squeal when she rams him in the ass? or just gurgle and moan?

    These giggling fools are just awesome.
    She did say "rammed down" ya know

  62. kingofmeh

    interesting that, nowhere in these "blame hispanics" rants does anyone say, "hey, maybe the 2016 republican primary debates shouldn't be 11 guys talking about just how high the wall between Mexico and the U.S. should be, how many machine guns we should put on it, and whether to put alligators or anacondas in the moat."

  63. mbobier

    Keep digging your party's grave by dumping on the fastest-growing ethnic group in America, wingnuts. By all means, keep right on.

  64. tessiee

    Yeah, Hispanic people want to vote for somebody who will make their lives better instead of somebody who will make their lives drastically worse and call them lazy moochers in the bargain.
    Go understand people, huh?

  65. miss_grundy

    Anne Coulter tiene cara de yegua y Sean Hannity es un hijo de puta y chulo. First, latinos were terrorists and now we're commie-socialists. Perhaps we could have a Puerto Rican mob wait outside of the Fox News Channel building and beat the crap out of these two assholes. I'm really getting tired of these crackers. You lost on Tuesday night because your candidate and his policies sucked, besides being a lying, arrogant rat bastard son of a trollop and her pimp.

  66. FishingCFP

    What does Mittens know about Foreign Policy? During the debate preparation in October, Romney Advisers had to explain to Mitt that "Manual Labor" was not the Secretary of Commerce of Honduras.

  67. BoroPrimorac

    Cubans are the only immigrants that get put on the dole as soon as they steep foot in this country and they vote republican.

    1. NellCote71

      I keep asking about those phones, but free bean and cheese tacos for breakfast would be an acceptable substitute.

  68. LeathrTuscadero

    I'm too stoned to read this right now. Can you provide me a summary in Spanish, just as soon as I'm back from moseying down to the mailbox to collect my government check?

  69. Pithaughn

    Where's my cinnamon girl? I phone banked, went out predawn to put door hangers, contributed to Warren's campaign, so where is my cinnamon girl?

  70. ttommyunger

    "….this “embarrasses” Sean Hannity" ? Let me just observe here that being Sean Hannity should be embarrassing to the Nth DeFuckingGree all by itself. BTW-No way am I clicking on that vid, Kris….having a pretty good day so far.

  71. JCE1985

    As a latino male, I have an inkling that if I somehow had the misfortune of meeting either Coulter or Hannity, they'd probably have the gaul to refer to me as "essay" and "mang."

  72. pac

    They just ran the wrong candidate this year, not conservative enough. Next time if they run Little Ricky Santorum…..have him dress up in silver cardboard….marching around the stage singing, "I'm a little tea pot short and stout…….here is my handle… is my….."

    If they do that and keep their winning platform……they will do just fine. Carry on……

  73. Pittsburgh58

    It is so encouraging to watch these nitwits double down on the racist plank of the republican party platform. I guess they think that every non-white "taker" who is raking their lawn, driving their cab, cleaning their hotel room, carrying their luggage, doesn't have a TV or is as stupid as white Americans who are un or under employed and blame it on the other un or under employed who are, oh let's see, not white.

  74. 69WideStance

    Bad news for these two clowns, but good news for everyone else: The economy will be BOOMING in two years.

  75. JulemryBoston

    Thanks for keeping me up to date on Fox Newz crap. I never watch it because why? But what the Repugs should be realizing is that Willard Mittens was a deeply flawed candidate whose resume was "Governor of a small New England state for 4 years." Period. 47th in job creation during his term. So adios, Mitt, and take your creepy sons and bitchy wife with ya.

  76. Poindexter718

    But wait, Sen Lindsay Graham was on a Sunday show this morning talking about how hard working the Latinos are (and pro life and pro family) and are, thus, natural constutuents for GOP.

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