Would you like Bill O’Reilly’s advice on what the Republican party could have done differently to avoid losing the Presidency and their chances of a GOP Senate? Of course you would, and here it is! First off, says Bill O’Reilly, the campaign really just reined Mitt Romney in too much. He should have been allowed to be unscripted on a far more regular basis, and actually, your Wonkette agrees with this but for different reasons. Also Romney should have hammered Obama more on Benghazi, and made that issue center stage, which is what the American people care about. Forget jobs, let’s focus on Benghazi. Oh and of course, let’s talk about how Chris Christie betrayed the GOP and how liberals were “delirious with joy” over the storm. But what you’re REALLY wondering, Wonketteers, is what O’Reilly thinks the GOP should do about the “demographics problem.” (Well, the so-called liberal media calls it a demographics problem; your Wonkette characterizes it as a “racism problem.”)
And this is easy, duh, we fix the “demographics problem” by trotting out Marco Rubio more often, and it will fix itself. This way, the GOP can “send a signal” to Hispanic voters that the “GOP respects them.” So this is basically the fault of Hispanics, and also, moochers, because half the country are moochers. But the biggest lesson — which O’Reilly closes with — is that Romney didn’t spend enough time warning voters about the DOOM that will follow with an Obama is reelected. Luckily, we have the House, which is the only thing standing between Obama and a far-left agenda.
So much to discuss about what Bill O’Reilly says. First, these Anglos, as your Wonkette’s Cuban mother would call them, do not understand about “Hispanics.” Hispanics are not a monolithic group. Mexicans, Cubans, and Puerto Ricans all self-identify in different ways and have different policy concerns. We are therefore not sure why trotting out Marco Rubio, a Cuban American (who is white from the perspective of many Latinos) will sway Mexicans or Puerto Ricans to vote for the GOP. We are also not even sure about why Marco Rubio will do anything to persuade Cubans, given that mommy Benson is Cuban and couldn’t give a rat’s ass about him. (Her words.) But in a worldview wherein Colin Powell only endorsed Obama because they are both black, we guess it makes sense to think Hispanics would endorse Rubio because his parents were from Cuba.
We will also point out the copious amount of dog whistling in O’Reilly’s Talking Points Memo. “Obama’s campaign manager is smart,” he says, insinuating that Obama HIMSELF is in no way responsible for this win; it is the doing of his “machine” and his “smart” campaign manager. Hispanics voted for Obama, O’Reilly says, and then immediately pivots to talking about handouts, which suggests that Hispanics only voted for Obama because of their handouts. Also, it’s cool, no need to panic, but Hispanics’ penchant for handouts will ruin this country (he literally says).
And this bullshit about women is just a distraction! Oh wait, O’Reilly doesn’t say that, because he doesn’t mention women even once. Don’t worry Bill O’Reilly, no need to pretend to care about women, we are pretty sure they just vote how their husbands tell them anyway.