LOOK AT THE CLOUDS  3:02 pm November 9, 2012

Bill O’Reilly: GOP Would Have Gotten Away With It Too If It Weren’t For These Hispanic Moochers Who Want Handouts

by Kris E. Benson


Would you like Bill O’Reilly’s advice on what the Republican party could have done differently to avoid losing the Presidency and their chances of a GOP Senate? Of course you would, and here it is! First off, says Bill O’Reilly, the campaign really just reined Mitt Romney in too much. He should have been allowed to be unscripted on a far more regular basis, and actually, your Wonkette agrees with this but for different reasons. Also Romney should have hammered Obama more on Benghazi, and made that issue center stage, which is what the American people care about. Forget jobs, let’s focus on Benghazi. Oh and of course, let’s talk about how Chris Christie betrayed the GOP and how liberals were “delirious with joy” over the storm. But what you’re REALLY wondering, Wonketteers, is what O’Reilly thinks the GOP should do about the “demographics problem.” (Well, the so-called liberal media calls it a demographics problem; your Wonkette characterizes it as a “racism problem.”)

And this is easy, duh, we fix the “demographics problem” by trotting out Marco Rubio more often, and it will fix itself. This way, the GOP can “send a signal” to Hispanic voters that the “GOP respects them.” So this is basically the fault of Hispanics, and also, moochers, because half the country are moochers. But the biggest lesson — which O’Reilly closes with — is that Romney didn’t spend enough time warning voters about the DOOM that will follow with an Obama is reelected. Luckily, we have the House, which is the only thing standing between Obama and a far-left agenda.

So much to discuss about what Bill O’Reilly says. First, these Anglos, as your Wonkette’s Cuban mother would call them, do not understand about “Hispanics.” Hispanics are not a monolithic group. Mexicans, Cubans, and Puerto Ricans all self-identify in different ways and have different policy concerns. We are therefore not sure why trotting out Marco Rubio, a Cuban American (who is white from the perspective of many Latinos) will sway Mexicans or Puerto Ricans to vote for the GOP. We are also not even sure about why Marco Rubio will do anything to persuade Cubans, given that mommy Benson is Cuban and couldn’t give a rat’s ass about him. (Her words.) But in a worldview wherein Colin Powell only endorsed Obama because they are both black, we guess it makes sense to think Hispanics would endorse Rubio because his parents were from Cuba.

We will also point out the copious amount of dog whistling in O’Reilly’s Talking Points Memo. “Obama’s campaign manager is smart,” he says, insinuating that Obama HIMSELF is in no way responsible for this win; it is the doing of his “machine” and his “smart” campaign manager. Hispanics voted for Obama, O’Reilly says, and then immediately pivots to talking about handouts, which suggests that Hispanics only voted for Obama because of their handouts. Also, it’s cool, no need to panic, but Hispanics’ penchant for handouts will ruin this country (he literally says).

And this bullshit about women is just a distraction! Oh wait, O’Reilly doesn’t say that, because he doesn’t mention women even once. Don’t worry Bill O’Reilly, no need to pretend to care about women, we are pretty sure they just vote how their husbands tell them anyway.

[Fox News]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 219 comments }

nounverb911 November 9, 2012 at 3:04 pm

The residents of America probably thought the same about O'Reilly's ancestors too, also.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 3:11 pm

♫ The filthy spalpeen ended "No Irish Need Apply"

MaxNeanderthal November 9, 2012 at 3:16 pm

"Rooms to rent, No Blacks, No Irish"
How quickly the downtrodden like to tread down those alongside them…..

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 3:17 pm

And especially "No Black Irish"!

MaxNeanderthal November 9, 2012 at 4:28 pm

"The Irish are the blacks of Europe, and the Dubliners are the blacks of Ireland, and the northsiders are the blacks of Dublin. I'm black and I'm proud"
Alan Parker's "The Commitments"

gullywompr November 9, 2012 at 3:04 pm

we fix the “demographics problem” by trotting out Marco Rubio more often, and it will fix itself. This way, the GOP can “send a signal” to Hispanic voters that the “GOP respects them.”

Right. Because that worked so well with that Allen West guy and the blahs.

widestanceromance November 9, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Thank you for reminding me about citizen West.

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Wow, but ain't that an uplifting new title for him.

Whee…

Fare la Volpe November 9, 2012 at 8:00 pm

And just think, by losing after one term he won't be enslaved by any of that horrible government intrusion like a pension or healthcare!

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Hey, I wonder how Marco Rubio feels about being window dressing for Republican guilt? Maybe someone should ask him?

widestanceromance November 9, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Nah, he'll happily dance in a sombrero for the camera.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 3:27 pm

He's not Messican and Messicans hate him.

widestanceromance November 9, 2012 at 3:36 pm

The intended humor was him doing that because the GOP would ask him to because they didn't know any better to have asked in the first place.

And, please, I do know he's Cuban. Geez.

Callyson November 9, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Also for Herman Cain and Alan Keyes. Plus some others I don't remember now.

BoroPrimorac November 9, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Hatred for Marco Rubio is one of the biggest reasons the democrats won Florida.

Fairtackle November 9, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Or you could try not being such dicks …

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Not possible.

jtinks November 9, 2012 at 3:55 pm

That just makes too much sense.

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Why don't you stop being a dick?

Gleem McShineys November 9, 2012 at 7:56 pm

It's the people who point out people are dicks who are the REAL DICKS!

larryfinexx November 9, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Como dice "loofah" en espanol.

HRH_Maddie November 9, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Falafel.

Lot_49 November 9, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Thought it was "rafalca." Sounds more Hispanolic.

Callyson November 9, 2012 at 3:41 pm

No quiero.

Tio_Doidinho November 9, 2012 at 3:45 pm

"O'Reilly", strangely enough.

Gleem McShineys November 9, 2012 at 7:57 pm

El jarrasment sessual?

Jennyjen798 November 10, 2012 at 8:50 am

esponja de lufa ;)

Troglodeity November 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

I guess forgetting about women altogether would be an improvement over requiring them to bear their rapists' spawn.

SuspectedDemocrat November 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

I'm ashamed of myself for doing this, but…

You know who else had a "demographics problem?"

Mahousu November 9, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Yeah, but he did have a solution for it.

A final one, if you will.

SigDeFlyinMonky November 9, 2012 at 3:15 pm

The House of Lords?

mille derps November 9, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Rotten Boroughs Libel!

Lot_49 November 9, 2012 at 3:15 pm

The one who found a Final Solution to it?

SayItWithWookies November 9, 2012 at 3:17 pm

The Tutsis?

MosesInvests November 10, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Hutus, actually.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 3:17 pm

George Wallace?

gullywompr November 9, 2012 at 3:19 pm

You really don't have to express any angst about being ashamed. We all know you comment on Wonkette.

MaxNeanderthal November 9, 2012 at 3:19 pm

OK, I'll buy it…
"Vot are zeze Russian untermensch doing in MY Reichschancellry?"

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Hey! Zu got your Reichschancellery in mein Untermenschen!

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Saddam Hussein?

Fairtackle November 9, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Lord Chelmsford?

MaxNeanderthal November 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm

"Men of Harlech…"

Incitefully_Joe November 9, 2012 at 3:33 pm
mille derps November 9, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Ferdinand and Isabella?

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 4:53 pm

The British in the Palestine Mandate?

AlterNewt November 9, 2012 at 5:33 pm

The Duke of Wellington?

TheGrandInquisitor November 9, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Vanilla Ice?

cheaphits November 10, 2012 at 8:23 am

Faux News?

I_P November 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Does Falafel O'Reilly even listen to himself? Or does that tremendous cockwagon just spout whatever pops into that 50 cent head of his? Yeesh…

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Fifty-cent head? What, did he pay retail?

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 4:54 am

Stupid Goyim overpaid retail, too.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 9, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Yes.

emmelemm November 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

your Wonkette characterizes it as a “racism problem”

That's racist!

eaglewon November 10, 2012 at 6:18 am

it's racism !

LibrarianX November 9, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Also, plus: when will they get credit for Condoleezza Rice?!?

gullywompr November 9, 2012 at 3:21 pm

And Sarah Palin haz the XX chomosomes, why are Dems so misogynist?

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 9, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Hate to break it to the Repubs, but Condi always votes Dem.

LibrarianX November 9, 2012 at 5:38 pm

It the boots, isn't it?Sent from my iPhone

Gleem McShineys November 9, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Well, have they contacted the seller yet? eBay has a whole section about buyer and seller tips.

Abernathy November 9, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Assume GOP dead.

outragedcitizen November 9, 2012 at 3:40 pm

GOP = Getting Old Party.

Maybe not original but true.

Rosie_Scenario November 9, 2012 at 3:09 pm

So O'Reilly has identified the problem. Has he come up with a final solution, yet?

memzilla November 9, 2012 at 3:14 pm

He's been showered with suggestions.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I'm sure he'll manage to, somehow. And when he does, it will be a triumph of the will.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I'm sure if he puts his massive mind to it. Maybe if he got away to some kind of "concentration camp"…

ChillBill November 9, 2012 at 3:09 pm

The real racists, of course, are the Messicans for refusing to vote for a party that calls them "Moochers," "Welfare Queens," and wants them to self-deport.

docterry6973 November 9, 2012 at 3:25 pm

And be killed by the electric fence if they survive the alligator-filled moat. And produce their papers on demand. But why go on. Those people can never be Real Americans.

Incitefully_Joe November 9, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Completely OT: but apparently David Petraeus is resigning because of an extramarital affair. If we weren't talking intelligence, I'd say "good move, lousy reason", but honestly when we're talking about the CIA, that really is a totally legit reason to resign.

Here's hoping the next director isn't drawn from the military also.

AND NOW FOR THE SNARK: Where was wonkette, when all this was going on? Embarrassing sexytimes scandals are totally our wheelhouse, here.

Lot_49 November 9, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Great scholar and great warrior are two different things. An intelligence agency and a special operations military force (which is what the CIA has become) are also two different things.

Incitefully_Joe November 9, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Agreed, and yet it would sure be nice to have one of the former again sometime soon, since we already have plenty of the latter.

It's just that we don't have any of the latter that allow Presidents to conduct military actions more or less wholly without oversight from the "co-equal" branches of government, and so it's unlikely to change soon. A civilian director of intelligence would at least be a heartening sign that we're not completely over that cliff yet, though.

Lot_49 November 9, 2012 at 3:32 pm

The Army didn't like him. Supposedly the CIA told Susan Rice that the Benghazi attack was a result of the movie rather than a coordinated military effort. He could be falling on his sword; the conspiracy loonies will say Obama commanded it.

The warriors belong in the Army. The smart guys belong in the CIA.

Incitefully_Joe November 9, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Funny thing is, I still have no idea which one you think Petraeus is.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I'd argue that the nature of the CIA mission at this point in time are a war footing and a general makes perfect sense.

Lot_49 November 9, 2012 at 3:46 pm

The original idea was that the CIA would be a spy agency and intelligence-gatherer. Its boss, the Director of Central Intelligence, would be the president's principal adviser on intelligence matters. What's gradually happened is that the Army has its own spies and the CIA has its own paramilitary operators. Allah only knows what the FBI is doing now that they've quit chasing labor leaders and bank robbers.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Man if I had to resign every time I screwed around, I'd be a hobo.

StillGoinGreen November 9, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Win.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 4:59 am

Got beenz?

deanbooth November 9, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Mrs. Petraeus calls him David Betrayus.

Nostrildamus November 9, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Another American marriage destroyed by Geyz in the military.

HogeyeGrex November 9, 2012 at 3:10 pm

because he doesn’t mention women even once

Not even to tell them to make him a falafel?

YasserArraFeck November 9, 2012 at 3:59 pm

He doesn't want them to make the felafel – he wants them to grind on it while he's holding it. Papa Bear has very specific felafel requirements.

boskolives November 10, 2012 at 5:01 am

I feelawful, does that count, also?

ChillBill November 9, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I went to a Mexican restaurant the other day. I was really surprised to see how civil they were. I mean, I didn't hear anyone say "bring me a Margarita, m-fer!"

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 3:15 pm

*ahem*

Repeat after me "hijo de puta"

1stNewtontheMoon November 9, 2012 at 3:10 pm

This internal reflection sounds remarkably similar to one that was supposed to occur in 2008.

Whatever. Great. Any strategy (especially the same one the tried with Bobby Jindal and Michael Steele) that has already failed miserably is welcome here. What they should absolutely NOT do (which El-Rush-Bo has already covered) is evolve their collective stances on issues so they aren't so incredibly offensive to such large swaths of the voting populace (e.g. women, minorities, un-rich people).

Santorum '16.

deanbooth November 9, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I liked Pierce's take on why the Republicans can't change their rightward march.

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 9, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Silly, us blahs, messicans, and orientals just aren't smart enough to understand the issues. We are completely swayed by candidates that "look like us."

SuspectedDemocrat November 9, 2012 at 3:10 pm

GOP to hispanics: "We will win your vote despite your penchant for moocherism and being lazy only wanting free stuff. Now to explain in words like what you use, here's a guy from Cuba."

AlterNewt November 9, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Their credibility gone, the conservative pundits apologized and retired in shame.

Tommy1733 November 9, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Now that's what I call an alternate reality…

weejee November 9, 2012 at 3:28 pm

lol

mille derps November 9, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Er… WHAT credibility?

Goonemeritus November 9, 2012 at 3:11 pm

The liberal impression that rich people went for Romney and the 47% went for Obama is really not borne out by the facts. Even a cursory look at the election map shows that the richest counties went overwhelmingly for Obama. Sure there are some plutocrats that supported Romney but if you were to look for who was his real base the girl from the previous post is it. Poorly informed racist lower middle class white people with cognitive abilities that my dog would pity.

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Precisely. There are, despite anecdotal evidence to the contrary, and I'm thinking of the Kochs and that idiot from Vegas, wealthy people who are smart and who realized that electing Romney and having a Congress that would spread its legs for him would result is disaster. And they knew that eventually, that disaster would affect their bottom lines.

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 9, 2012 at 4:49 pm

It's because think of the unborn babies! (except mine. bc I have GOOD reasons for aborting mine)

Eve8Apples November 9, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Every time Bill O'Reilly speaks, the GOP "demographics problem" gets larger.

Close_Read November 9, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Bill O finally enters his Rococo phase.

1stNewtontheMoon November 9, 2012 at 3:19 pm

He said he wanted to interview Mitt, not Egg's horse.

Ground Zero Mostel November 9, 2012 at 3:13 pm

I personally was THRILLED when Sandy hit. There I was in Reading PA (canvassing) while my better-half and pets were "weathering" the storm at home. I was hoping for power outages so I wouldn't be bothered by the spouse's whining. I know my friends from Hoboken who were also in Reading were equally pleased with Sandy's progress. "So what I can always get another rent-controlled apartment for $400 a month," said my recently unemployed colleague. "If this gets Obama elected, it was all worth it. Besides, he'll give us all those freebies."

I know every household that had power outages in Reading were ready to PAAARTTTY — especially when the temperatures got cold and they couldn't heat their homes.

swordfis November 10, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Why even bother? Even if he could hear you he's too big an asshole to even understand.

Wadisay November 9, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Salsa outselling catsup = new right wing freakout.

1stNewtontheMoon November 9, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Two fold problem: Salsa is delicious; and hipster ketchup is something called "Sriracha." (and if Sriracha was a person, then it would definitely not be a part of the republicans demographic).

Yellerdawg November 9, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I had Sriracha at lunch today. It's addictive.

smokefilledroommate November 10, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Put it in some homemade Phở and it's hypnotic.

HRH_Maddie November 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

That's a fact. Bottles of Sriracha now come with a pair of horn rimmed glasses and ironic mustaches.

doloras November 9, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Sri Racha is a town just outside Bangkok where they have a tiger and crocodile farm!

deanbooth November 9, 2012 at 3:42 pm

As if the catsup vs. ketchup dilemma wasn't already too much to handle.

HRH_Maddie November 9, 2012 at 3:55 pm

There's no hearing "catsup" and not thinking of Monty Burns: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biW2i9yK-10

BZ1 November 9, 2012 at 3:14 pm

The scary thing is that many Latino voters would actually vote along Republican lines in regards to social issues, but when you're talking about electrifying fences and cattle prods, folks just don't take kindly to that.

Incitefully_Joe November 9, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Sorry, I can't stop laughing over the fact that BillO is trotting out the fact that 80% of Bill O'Reilly viewers think that Bill O'Reilly gives fair coverage! as some sort of butress of credibility.

I mean, I'm pretty sure 80% of people who watch MLP:FiM with Doktor Zoom would say that it's really just that there is very strong character writing and there's totally nothing weird about adult men watching a children's show for girls.

Mahousu November 9, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Do not disrespect the ponies.

Mumbletypeg November 9, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Far from it — Joe has seen the light!

coolhandnuke November 9, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Bill added, "Hey folks, don't get me wrong I love Mexican people. Just last week I sat next to Juan Williams and Geraldo at the Fox cafeteria."

RomneysLogCabin November 9, 2012 at 3:15 pm

When will this ignorant slut understand that it was all God's will?

Dudleydidwrong November 9, 2012 at 4:14 pm

While traveling on the day after the Great Election of 2012 I was listening to the CB radio to hear the truckers' take on the results. One guy went on and on: "Fucking disaster, country is fucked, we're all fucked, fuck this country, fuck the president, etc." Then he offered the information that he had prayed and prayed for a Romney win but included "and I prayed that God's will be done…" and then started with the "fuck this and fuck that and fuck him" stuff. Logic? I guess it got left at the starting line somewhere back.

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Are you saying the trucker was raped by God?

Pics or GTFO

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Bill's tirade sounded better in the original German.

(shout-out to the late, great Molly Ivins)

imissopus November 9, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Hey, be nice to Bill. His parents died in the Holocaust. They fell off a guard tower.

jello_mold November 9, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Several versions of her great quote in response to this from the heritage foundation:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2012/11/um_

it's gratifying to read the comments on youtube stomping all over this fascist garbage.

not much schadenfreude here; I'm tense and nervous and I can't relax. maybe I should see what the fuss is around this marijuana stuff…do you know what's up with that? teevee broadcasters are so coy all of a sudden.

widestanceromance November 9, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Either liberal schadenfreude is actually rimming me right now or I'm having a very, very vivid flashback. Win-win for me.

weejee November 9, 2012 at 3:18 pm

/ with apologies to Warren Zevon

♪♫ O'Reilly lays his head on the railroad track
Waitin' for the Teaparty
Teatards don't run here no moar
Poor, poor, pitiful Bill-ie ♫♪

gullywompr November 9, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Fave tune, but I can't let this go by without expressing my eternal love for Linda Rohnstadt. She haz the pipes.

She's a latina also too. Maybe she'd make a good GOP candidate, eh?

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Probably not too receptive to the idea, since she was thrown out of a casino gig for criticizing W's war.

amoosefloats November 9, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Fox News has a demographic problem Old angry white folks who do not believe in science or fact are dying out. Bill O the clown is a racist fuck!

proudgrampa November 9, 2012 at 3:18 pm

How much more successful would Goebbels have been if he had just characterized it as a "demographics problem?"

Botlrokit November 9, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I clicked it. I am so ashamed. My finger stings, and my ears are puffing.

Lot_49 November 9, 2012 at 3:19 pm

We are the Old White Guys! Hear us roar! Feel our pain!

T3rbo November 9, 2012 at 5:44 pm

That guy can't even help it, just like Pat Buchanan. These guys just know that most of the people who get free handouts are black/messican, no need to look it up, just like they know that black people are big and scary. Want to bet that he has a collection of 19th century sambo style ceramics in his basement?

rickmaci November 9, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Given they spent about $1billion on losing, wouldn't it have been more effective to just give all 11mill Hispanic voters a hundred bucks to stay home?

emmelemm November 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Don't give them any ideas.

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Make it $125 and we have a deal.

Hammiepants November 9, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Yes, trot out the Rubio. Because Latinos, just like blacks and women, respond really well to pandering tokenism.

outragedcitizen November 9, 2012 at 4:06 pm

You are so right! Look how Sarah P brought all the disenchanted female Hillary voters over to McCain.

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Stoners too!

GeorgiaBurning November 9, 2012 at 4:17 pm

How many black voters did Condie Rice bring to the polls? She could probably fit them all in the back seat of her Audi.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Now, now, don't you remember when she beat Hillary for the Presidency in 2008?

Source: Dick Morris.

SoBeach November 9, 2012 at 3:20 pm

So after years of listening to republicans try to out-douche each other on illegals — build a wall! — build two walls! — landmines! — snipers! — the Hispanics voted for Obama because Rubio wasn't in enough Romney commercials.

I'm telling you, that Bill O'Reilly is sure a smart feller.

swordfis November 10, 2012 at 7:56 pm

fart smeller

JustPixelz November 9, 2012 at 3:21 pm

And if Romney had won, O'Reilly would have been able to say "Eighty million white people voted. Romney won by two million votes. He's now beholden to whites who want stuff — tax cuts, cheese fries and cheap crap from China."

Jus_Wonderin November 9, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Hey now. Isn't DOOM s'posed to be spelled DooM? 'Nuff said.

SayItWithWookies November 9, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Too bad about your demographics problem, Bill. But somehow I doubt that even if everybody looked like you that they would all think like you. As a society we've progressed a bit. And while I realize it's tough being left behind, remember this — it's increasingly lonely too. Bye now.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Hey, um, Bill? Regarding the Talking Point in your still here…

71% of the vote was cast by white people so by your logic, if we eliminated them, Romney would have won in a landslide!

Right?

gullywompr November 9, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Just hire a Mariachi band. Problem solved.

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Worked for Poncho Villa.

Detesticle November 9, 2012 at 3:29 pm

My favorite election sum-up was Elayne Boosler's: Vaginas beat assholes.

deanbooth November 9, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Alec Baldwin: "You know your party is in trouble when people ask 'did the rape guy win?' and you have to answer, 'which one?'"

LibrarianX November 9, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Tragically forgotten: Alberto Gonzales….

deanbooth November 9, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I don't recall him.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Tragic, but not forgotten.

bobbert November 9, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Forgotten, but unfortunately not gone far enough.

LibrarianX November 9, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Now working as a stunt double for the 'I Can has Cheezburger' cat, Frank: http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/201

Whollyholeyholy November 9, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I know I'm a progressive, but it seems silly that in O'Reilly land it is still *too soon* to accept that more people have the right to vote than Founding Fathers included in the (apparently not entirely perfect after all) constitution.

smokefilledroommate November 9, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Look at the clowns.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 3:54 pm

♫ Send in the clowns…
There ought to be clowns…
Don't bother – they're heeeeeeere… ♪

imissopus November 9, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Shorter Billo: BROWN MOOCHERS! AND ALSO, IPADS, TOO!

kingcocrazy November 9, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Obama collected 73 percent of the Asian vote. Asian households have a higher median income than white households. Guess that number is "skewed" too, huh, Bill?

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 3:53 pm

That's because they work three jobs!

emmelemm November 9, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I thought that was Jamaicans.

pdiddycornchips November 9, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Do you know what they call a Haitian with only three jobs?

Lazy

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Asians are the ultimate moochers. Sure, they claim they will love you long time for five bucks…, but it is never long enough. <<sob>>

ButthurtWingers2012 November 9, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Billo has already accounted for it….his take on the election is people voted for Romney because they value liberty and personal responsibility. People voted for…HIM because they 'wanted stuff'. It's like fuck, Bill O' why don't you just come out and say good white people voted for Romney and a bunch of lazy n-bombs and beaners, and gheys and slutty whores who want 'free stuff' over rights voted for Obama? Of course Bill…the fact that every single billionaire who spent big money for Romney wanted tax cuts, and lobbyist whores becoming regulators and dark markets by deregulation that are founts of corruption wanted 'stuff', too…quid pro quo stuff. But as a 'regular' conservative asshole dumbass won't admit tax cuts, and looking the other way in the face of rampant corporate vice, graft and murderous indifference toward pollution and the environment and allowing creepy old white men and authoritarian religious organizations to decide for women while allowing rampant discrimination of gay people and whitening the office by getting rid of Affirmative Action is also wanting 'stuff'…nope, that's just good old fashioned patriotic motives.

MosesInvests November 10, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Joos, also, too. Actually, if you elimate Orthodox(ie, fundamentalist) Jews, Obama got 90% of the Jewish vote.

mustangsavvy November 9, 2012 at 3:35 pm

This meltdown is gonna take a while to sort itself out, obvs.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 3:42 pm

"Eating the bread of affliction and wetting it with the tears of misery" makes for a mighty tedious diet…

Mittens Howell, III November 9, 2012 at 3:37 pm

So if your job consists entirely of screaming and wetting your pants at every single move Obama makes, then I guess you gotta see Obama as your Job Creator, right?

Dan Sheetz November 9, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Wall Street tanked the first day. Then again, it tanked after the last election, then proceeded to DOUBLE in the next four years. Atta boy, Bill.

MonkeyMotion November 9, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Or maybe if they'd just listened to Sarah Palin. Or even Bristol Palin.

Wait…what? Where'd they go?

SuspectedDemocrat November 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

They were smart and cashed out when Republican stock was at its peak.

OneYieldRegular November 9, 2012 at 3:39 pm

If the last three days are any indication, Republicans are going to have a long, long struggle to figure out even the most glaringly obvious reasons for their loss.

T3rbo November 9, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Yeah, but the funny part is, at the end of the day, they will just create their own warren commission report. The magic negro/mexican welfare bullet struck romney, bounced off the voter suppression, hit ryan….

Mittens Howell, III November 9, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Wondering if Jerry Springer is the guest producer at Fox this week.

goat_thrower November 9, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Bill O'Reilly's hairline is trying to run away from the nonsense coming out of his mouth.

qwerty42 November 9, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Now that Obama has a second term, when does the collectivization of agriculture and the nationalization of the coal and steel industries begin? This is on the communist agenda isn't it? And will FEMA or the TSA become the backbone of the new NKVD? So Napolitano will be the new Dzerzhinsky.

Blueb4sinrise November 9, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Billo don lak de blah bean.

StillGoinGreen November 9, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I DEMAND AN ARTICLE BE WRITTEN ABOUT PETRAEUS IMMEDIATELY!! So I can say, "Who gives a shit?" and move on to laughing about Christie's pants still being wedgied up his ass.

DahBoner November 9, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Bill smashes his genuine concrete Sleeping Mexican Under A Sombrero Next To A Cactus statue.

DAMMIT! WHY CAN'T YOU BE LAZIER???

MiniMencken November 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Stabbed in the back by the November Criminals, eh, Herr O'Reilley? Victory would have been yours if only the Führher have been allowed to unleash his secret weapon, is that it, Wilhelm?

finallyhappy November 9, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Hail Hydra!

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 3:58 pm

People vote for Obama, Obama gets elected. Can't explain that.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Conspiracy!!!

finallyhappy November 9, 2012 at 7:09 pm

I can- NATE!!!!

Sassomatic November 9, 2012 at 4:01 pm

What if they just got the GOP sponsored by Taco Bell, and promised everyone who votes Republican free tacos on election day? It's a perfect plan.

VodkaGoGo November 9, 2012 at 4:03 pm

It makes sense that they would look at Rubio this way, considering that all they see when they look at Obama is ZOMG BLACK!!! Now they're starting to wake up to the demographic problems they have and their only answer is to throw more tokens at minorities. They of course won't moderate any of their policies toward minorities because their policies aren't the problem, it's the minorities. If they thought brownface would fix the problem, that's what they would do, really.

StillGoinGreen November 9, 2012 at 4:13 pm

You wanna watch their fucking heads explode? Ask them to differentiate between the Hispanic vote that DEEPLY cares about climate change and the hispanic vote that doesn't care about climate change, but DEEPLY cares about health coverage. Or, for that matter – the Asian vote that makes National Security a top priority, but is pro-choice. NOPE, ONE POT MAKES ONE DEMOGRAPHIC SOUP!!

VodkaGoGo November 9, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Exactly. I was going to throw in that they probably think an endorsement from J-Lo would help them with Mexicans but there wasn't really any room.

StillGoinGreen November 9, 2012 at 4:48 pm

AGREED…OK, it's Friday – enough of the deep thinking! Why don't you make an underarm fart sound and I'll laugh until I blow a snot bubble? (It is cold season, dontchano?)

BlueStateLibel November 9, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I just think of the nice Hispanic guy who drove out and jump-started my car for free – refused to accept payment – during the latest disaster, and how Rmoney cut off his staff's credit cards at 2 am in Boston.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 4:06 pm

See also: Obama's incredibly graceful and heart-felt thank-you to his campaign staff

Pithaughn November 9, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Same here. Super nice guy left his niece's quineoncera (sp ) to change a flat for me and mrs Pitt. He was sent by AAA, but like you said, would not take a tenner. I stuck it in his cab when he wasn't looking anyways.

GeorgiaBurning November 9, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Anger and Denial now. Things are moving. Bargaining in 2013, then full force Depression in 2014.

iburl November 9, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Remember this Republidouche?

"When asked, following the arrests, what he would do to promote Latino outreach, Maturo said, “I might have tacos when I get home.”"
http://wonkette.com/461324/east-haven-mayors-idea

tracyhasfun November 9, 2012 at 4:19 pm

First–I hate the "Morning Joe" show. BUT David Frum lambasted this furballs and calls them out for lying and making people MORE IGNORANT. Srsly. Best segment on that show I have ever seen. Okay, low bar. But it was so…reasonable.

Woodshedding November 9, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Oh! I finally understand why Republicans make such strange claims. THEY JUST GOT MIXED UP about who's the 1% and who's the 99%. Simple misunderstanding! Whew. And I thought they'd become batshit insane. Bet y'all thought so too, huh? Well, forgive and forget I always say. Except when I don't.

rocktonsam November 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm

this is the best part, all the monday morning quarterbacks. where were you when The President lead in the swing states since summer. it was over then.The repubs are screwed and fox is too.

bow to the master bitches

pdiddycornchips November 9, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Everyone knows Hispanics aren't monolithic in their thinking. Otherwise, Goya would only have one kind of beans.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 9, 2012 at 4:37 pm

But how could the Hispanics all vote if they were too busy passed out drunk on tequila underneath palm trees?

Or has Warner Brothers been lying to me and Bill O' all this time.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 9, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Why won't Bill O' talk about the real problem the Republicans are facing: White People are now so old and lazy, they won't even vote for a white candidate.

mmmafoo November 9, 2012 at 4:54 pm

"Mexicans, Cubans, and Puerto Ricans all self-identify in different ways and have different policy concerns. We are therefore not sure why trotting out Marco Rubio, a Cuban American (who is white from the perspective of many Latinos) will sway Mexicans or Puerto Ricans to vote for the GOP."
YES! Thank you for saying this! Finally, somebody says this! I'm of Miami-Cuban parents, and they are a world away from other Latino folks I know. The idea that dangling Rubio in front of Latinos will make them vote Republican is as naive and condescending as thinking Palin would have captured the woman vote. Dumbasses.
PS: If our Wonkette's mom is really Cuban, please be my bff?

Jukesgrrl November 9, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Bill-o should take a trip to Costa Rica with Rush and see how many Latinos aren't yelling, "Motherfucker, bring me another yerba mate."

Pithaughn November 9, 2012 at 5:12 pm

My Euro facebook friends remind me that this demographic "problem" is a mite bigger than just a right wing US of A issue. Seems that pretty much every where the old white establishment is shall we say in decline. I suppose this trend started several centuries ago.

Chet Kincaid_ November 9, 2012 at 5:43 pm

"…we have the House, which is the only thing standing between Obama and a far-left agenda."

Wow, something Billo and I agree on!

ButthurtWingers2012 November 9, 2012 at 6:11 pm

I don't know if it is sad or funny that Republicans have reacted to this thrashing by acting like Bill the Butcher in Gangs of New York….no, it's definitely funny. I hope they keep up the insults and the demeaning reactions toward women and minorities. Their key demographics (creepy old white men) are diminishing…the "Kristhun Rightz" brand teabaggers are diminishing, too so I hope they keep this up. In fact, I hope this version of conservatism becomes so exclusionary and short-sighted that ultimately they are the architects of their own doom as a movement. Please wingnuts…keep it comin'…learn NOTHING about being racist assholes.

Baba_NinjaCat12 November 9, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Yo podría haber escapado si no hubiera sido esos malditos intromisión niños hispanos.

decentcitizen November 9, 2012 at 7:12 pm

It couldn't be that the GOP platform is offensive – it has got to be those Hispanics. Keep f*cking that chicken, guys.

anteater November 9, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Every time O'Reilly whines an angel gets her wings……. and I get a boner.

Dimitrios_M November 9, 2012 at 8:13 pm

One glaring error: "Bill O'Reilly thinks…."

SayItWithWookies November 9, 2012 at 8:16 pm

I just watched that damn thing, and you know what struck me the most? That Bill thought that if the election had been held eight days earlier that Romney would've won. He wouldn't have.

O'Reilly talks as though it was a soccer game and Romney just happened to be behind when the clock ran out. But that little surge was, firstly, the only lead Romney ever had in the popular vote ever, and secondly, due only to Romney's relatively credible performance in the first debate. That performance though, started to erode only moments after the debate ended as fact-checkers listed the plethora of lies Romney had uttered. It disappeared shortly after, though poll aggregation made it appear to last longer than it actually did.

O'Reilly also overlooks the fact that the first debate only could've happened during the first debate. Obama would never have made the mistake of appearing lackluster at the second or third ones. Period. Thus Romney's one-time blip never would've affected the election.

Oh, also — at the very end, Bill crows about how his pre-election-night show got seven million viewers, "By far the most popular news show of that evening." You're not a news show Bill — FOX News classifies you as entertainment. Right up there with The Real World and Family Guy.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 9, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Wookie, you are so right, but there is a problem with your argument: you are using facts and logic. So, not a chance it would work with anyone over at FOX News.

Gleem McShineys November 9, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Gosh it's so weird. I can watch a few minutes of a video of a Hispanic guy, like, say, Marco Rubio, and can NOT be able to automatically tell if he's a moocher, but I CAN watch a few minutes of a video of a white dude like Bill O'Reilly and automatically tell he's a bigot.

SO WEIRD.

mosjef November 9, 2012 at 10:47 pm

What "stuff" and "things" is the government handing out that Mr. Orally refers to? Loofahs? No wonder he is somewhat piqued. He has to pay hard currency for his, then present it to a non-appreciative staffer who throws it out and sues him, adding to the cost. Wife's and his own marital lawyers add to cost of "free government loofah". Finally he has to pay Emergency Room visit (not covered under Fox high deductible, personal responsibility health plan) to have surgeon remove 3 feet of loofah extracted from his colon.

lochnessmonster November 10, 2012 at 6:47 am

He forgot to blame the Chicago politics or did I miss that ?

ttommyunger November 10, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Fun fact: had to put a new roof on last year. Signed the Contract and that was the last English speaking person I saw among the crew. The little assholes worked like a colony of ants from dawn to dusk, scurried up and down ladders like fucking chimps and did a fantastic job in record time. I am impressed. Also, did you know that if Bill-O, Sean and Rush were laid end to end the world would be a better place? On the wrong side of the grass, mean……

hijackthemic November 10, 2012 at 3:33 pm

This a-hole is such a gigantic bigot, I don't understand how he has managed to get a pass from the American mainstream for so long. I can wait for someday when he drops dead and a Fox News intern walks all his show tapes down to the incinerator and tosses them in. He's nothing but an opinion-providing whore who won't have given the world a single thing worth saving in all his work.

Slapwow November 10, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Bill will no doubt join East Haven Mayor Joe Maturo in "having tacos for dinner" tonight to show his newly evolved position on this.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 12, 2012 at 5:59 am

Women are half the population. Moochers are half the population. My question, Bill, is how many halves can the GOP afford to alienate?

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 4:05 pm

*woosh*

My apologies.

Lot_49 November 9, 2012 at 4:16 pm

PhD in International Relations from Princeton = scholar in my book, although the rest of his education is pretty much Army-standard-issue. His father-in-law was superintendent at “the military academy,” as Army types call West Point. Speaks Arabic, if recall correctly from the tongue-bath Sully gave him when he was put in charge in Iraq.None of this is a criticism of him, by the way! He seems like a terrific guy, high achiever, true patriot, etc, and it'll be our loss if he doesn't turn up in some other public service spot. It's the bureaucratic mission creep that bothers me. Think of convicted felon Oliver North for a bad example.

widestanceromance November 9, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Accepted. I just could not be seen as being that stupid this far up in a post. I try to hold off until page 2, at least. Oh, and it's 'Mexican' with an 'x' for future reference. ;)

MosesInvests November 10, 2012 at 8:50 pm

In Tex-ass, it's "Messican". Of course, I'm in Austin, TEJAS, thankyouverymuch.

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