WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?  2:16 pm November 9, 2012

Meet The Not-Racist Young Lady Who Called For Assassination Of, Er, Let’s Just Say ‘Black’ President

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

NOT FAAAAIRRRR“I didn’t think it’d be that big of a deal,” said this spritely lass when confronted with a news crew. Like, why are people all pissing and moaning, and why did she get fired from her job at Cold Stone Creamery, just because she said that someone should assassinate that “nigger” president? Like, what is even their damage, you know? Is she not simply expressing herself? And is that not what a special snowflake like herself must do? It’s just Facebook and stuff, plus if he got assassinated it’s not like she would be sad, but most importantly, SHE IS NOT A RACIST. “I’m not racist,” Denise Helms told the news crew. She has a lot of friends of different nationalities! Like, probably some Irish, and some Italians, maybe some Poles, POSSIBLY an Asiatic (but probably not, and DEFINITELY not any Jews), and, well, probably like a dude named “Lopez” but who is from Spain instead of Mexico. See, not racist at all!


The “funnest” part of this terrific news report (no part of this terrific news report is fun) is the juxtaposition of the 22-year-old’s Facebook picture, all glamour-shotted and tanned with the sexxxy, and her in-person presentation, where (and we are not making fun of her appearance, just noting the difference between Facebook and reality) she looks like a 44-year-old in Idaho with four kids hanging on her while she’s trying to both put some Hot Pockets in a toaster oven and work her phone sex shift at the same time.

That trenchant bit of analysis concluded, let us all take a moment to remember who the real victim is here: Sarah Palin.

[Gawker]

 
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{ 265 comments }

Respitetini November 9, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Why are you being so racist against her by saying her racist sayings are racist? Can't you just be tolerant of other people's opinions? God, you libtards, I swear…

iburl November 9, 2012 at 2:19 pm

She should move to England where they have freedom of speech.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Right. It's only racist is a Democrat does it

weejee November 9, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Right. We should be politically correct and call her a Miscegenista.

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm

She should be able to make any offensive, threatening remark she wants without any repercussions or consequences. She's a Real Amercian.
Sheesh.

Tessa November 9, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Geez, it's not like she called for the assassination of a white person or something. People make too big a deal about this stuff.

Botlrokit November 9, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Girl with balls.

outragedcitizen November 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm

That would be my guess.

NorthStarSpanx November 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

You are giving that dull and slow-witted girl a LOT more credit than she deserves.

Jeri 2.0 November 9, 2012 at 2:59 pm

…on chin?

Redgyal November 9, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Is Ann coulter?

Dudleydidwrong November 9, 2012 at 4:23 pm

If she has balls they are located where her brain should be.

reallythatsnice November 9, 2012 at 4:32 pm

By balls you mean loathsome thoughts that end with dimwitted beliefs and ignorance? Then yes she has balls galore!

bobby_dee November 9, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Sad, she was actually a fairly decent linebacker when she played at Cal State, Stanislaus, then the NCAA ruled that she could no longer carry her kid in a front pack unless another defensive player left the field. Now she's lost her job at the Creamery, too. One hopes that she stands tall and resists the Democrats' dole.

PuckStopsHere November 9, 2012 at 2:21 pm

She's about 22 and a 1/2 minutes short of the kind of rant which typically warrants a post on this blog. And, like yesterday's You-Tuber, she is not attractive inside or out.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Oh, I dunno….all dolled up, and me all liquored up. Maybe if I was sick, too…

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Maybe I have higher standards than you, actor212, but I wouldn't fuck her with Ann Coulter's dick.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 3:08 pm

If I had standards, I'd still be married.

Beowoof November 9, 2012 at 4:18 pm

TS:DF Too Stupid Didn't F**k

berkeleyfarm November 9, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Oh, Turlock. Never change.

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Ah. Okay.

Sacramento was (and may still be) the most integrated city in the country.

berkeleyfarm November 9, 2012 at 2:38 pm

My home town! (another reason I look down on Turlock, LOL)

Mind you there is a lot of this tea-party trash in various parts of the metro area. I wouldn't have been at all surprised to see a dateline of Roseville, Rocklin, Orangevale, Rancho Cordova.

elviouslyqueer November 9, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Yep, been to Turlock. It makes Modesto look positively cosmopolitan.

bobbert November 9, 2012 at 2:58 pm

These days, it's kind of the exurbs of Modesto.

Also, recall that this is where Frieda F gave that there word salad thing at the CSU.

Pat_Pending November 9, 2012 at 3:29 pm

I've been to Turlock, I know people in TURLOCK, and to this comment I must say…

…um. Completely accurate.

berkeleyfarm November 9, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Hey Homey! *fist bumps*

Just relieved that it wasn't my own birthplace in the Sacramento Valley.

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 2:21 pm

If somewhere during your interview you feel compelled to make the statement “I’m not racist,” but you choose to use the word "nigger" when referring to the president, chances are pretty good that you are just plain not self-aware.

GeorgiaMike November 9, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Amen. I've heard people say, "I don't have any problem with niggers." No, but you have lots of problems with intellect. This young racist princess might be a distant cousin of Honey Boo Boo.

Butch_Wagstaff November 9, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I once knew someone (back when I was living in places like Bugfuck, Virginia) someone who through around the word "nigger" a lot. Which I found odd because she preferred black guys when it came to sex. I remember someone pointing this out to her at a party (we all lived in the same apartment complex & partied together). She drunkenly & very loudly proclaimed that she liked to fuck black guys as long as they weren't "niggers!".
Weird.

HELisforHEL November 9, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Siiigh.

HRH_Maddie November 9, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Saying "I'm not racist, but…" is just like saying "No offense, but…" Whatever follows is bound to be racist or offensive.

BenGleck November 10, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Ya think?

RelicOven November 9, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Dude she has some minority friends! Obviously shes not racist, I don't see the problem here. It's the Secret Service who's being racist against her words!

JustPixelz November 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Had some minority friends. Maybe not so much anymore. Also, those were only Facebook friends.

eaglewon November 10, 2012 at 9:06 pm

she said friends of different nationalities, not minority friends. Btw, I bet you don't have any. Also depends on which state you're in, because in some states whites are the minority. Minority is really not the proper word to use anymore, are you from the 70s?

boskolives November 9, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Secret Service arrives in 5…4…3…

memzilla November 9, 2012 at 2:25 pm

…her comments are being "reviewed," per the article.

Ground Zero Mostel November 9, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Reminds me of the classic exchange between Meathead and Sammy Davis Jr on All in the Family."
Meathead: It's not like he'd light a cross on fire on your lawn…
Davis Jr.: No, but he might stop to roast a few marshmallows.

YasserArraFeck November 9, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Getting dolled up for the glamour-shot was the high point of this sad sack's life. From now on, money-shots on http://www.allwhitepoontang.xxx

Allmighty_Manos November 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Can you imagine what her parents are like? I'm thinking that guy who<a=href"http://www.splcenter.org/get-informed/intelligence-report/browse-all-issues/2007/summer/the-last-word">owns the Klan store in Georgia.

littlebigdaddy November 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

She'll be running for Congress next election cycle. Apparently, she's the frontrunner for the GOP nomination. And, you know, she meant "nigga," like a rapper.

outragedcitizen November 9, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Probably should have used – blahs

belmontreport November 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I LOVE that she thinks that if you're just saying what you think, it can't be racist. Beautiful logic.

savethispatient November 9, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I'm not a racist, therefore anything I say is not racist. QED.

SorosBot November 9, 2012 at 2:33 pm

If what you're thinking is racist, then you just might in fact be a racist.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 2:39 pm

The worst part is not so much that she's a bigot, but that she'll likely breed as soon as the high school janitor forgets the condom.

Lizzietish81 November 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm

You're assuming she hasn't already. She's old enough to have a couple of kids by now.

But she ain't no freeloader!

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 2:59 pm

If she's dolled up on teh Facebuke, it's safe to say she doesn't have her claws in on some dumb gas jockey

Yet.

Lizzietish81 November 9, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Yes, because once she has a guy it will be forever.

The last two baby daddies just let her down, so now she's looking for the real thing.

I used to do personal ads, trust me, she has kids already and is still looking for a guy.

Oblios_Cap November 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

The Cold Stone Creamery? They certainly have some inventive names for their whorehouses out West.

Spurning Beer November 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm

There's a Marble Slab Creamery here in Pensacola. The name is just too mortuarial for me.

A few miles from my former residence, there was a Creamery next door to a Crematory. No kidding.

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Those could cause problems for the stoner population.

HogeyeGrex November 9, 2012 at 2:55 pm

"Duuude. This ice cream tastes like shit."

"Yeah dude. All powdery."

Callyson November 9, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Ice cream parlor IRL, pretty good actually. But yeah, I think you just nailed what her next position will be…

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Yea, they are a pretty good ice cream parlor chain but like all parlors, they need hot weather and so they failed miserably in NYC

Oblios_Cap November 9, 2012 at 2:46 pm

There seem to be a number of thriving Friendly's Parlors in Jersey.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 2:53 pm

They serve food, tho.

Such as it is….

finallyhappy November 9, 2012 at 6:48 pm

We have a cold stone here in Silver Spring but there is also a Ben and Jerrys and now a FroYo(with Zombie coffee froyo). Yes, I am an old menopausal woman

gullywompr November 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Fifteen dollar too beaucoup. Five dollars each.

MissTaken November 9, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Bunny Ranch and Pinkberry are very similar.

GunToting[Redacted] November 9, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Isn't California home of the Pink Taco?

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

She said "Rocky Road President" but it came out as "nigger"

Crank_Tango November 9, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Damn you autocorrect!

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Well, 140 characters. One has to shorthand these things!

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 2:47 pm

She can't spell "complexion" so President "Hockey Puck Complexion" was out of the question.

weejee November 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

real victim is here: Sarah Palin.

Is that because Denise Helms' phone sex shift is cutting into Lou Sarah's hours?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 9, 2012 at 2:53 pm

"Oh, you betcha, that's a big one…"

Joshua Norton November 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

There’s a way this could be more pathetic but it’s not coming immediately to mind.

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 2:47 pm

She could be on SNAP.

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Conversation you'll never hear around the Wonkette office:

"So, have any horrible, horrible, ugly, racist, seditious, treasonous asswipes been posting horrible, horrible, ugly, racist, seditious, treasonous shit about the president on the internets today?"

"Nope. Not today."

memzilla November 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm

"I am sorry if you are offended by my racist comments."

Looks like jobwise, she's been (*ahem*) blah-listed.

berkeleyfarm November 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm

It might not be a problem for her in Turlock. Just sayin'.

Edit: I see that her current job seems to have nuked her. Not surprising from a national chain. I think she'll be able to find refuge at some local business that isn't as diligent about anti-discrimination though.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I think it's terrible that a firm that's only trying to protect its sales and its reputation is abridging this poor woman's right to be a total fucking redneck bigot free speech rights

GunToting[Redacted] November 9, 2012 at 4:42 pm

She's already been offered Shift Manager at Chik-fil-a.

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm

"I'm not racist; see, those are Chitlins & Collard Greens Hot Pockets!"

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm

It's time to start prosecuting these asshats. A few convictions and sentencings will, no doubt, restore the "respect for the office of the presidency" that the Neo-cons are always so loudly (and supposedly) "defending"…

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 2:49 pm

LOL

"Fat" chance.

DemmeFatale November 9, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Yep.
Time to bring the hammer down on these assholes.
They need a visit from the FBI, Secret Service, and Seal Team 6.

Misty Malarky November 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Nagger?

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 2:46 pm

They annoy her too.

Grief_Lessons November 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm

"This Turlock woman…"

Never having heard of the place, I wondered what the word "turlock" meant, and whether it was a synonym for "wretched", or "insensate", or possibly "lamerrific".

berkeleyfarm November 9, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I've been through there. Not far off.

It's one of the asscracks of the San Joaquin Valley in California.

HogeyeGrex November 9, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Ah, the Central Valley. Bathtub-meth capitol of the universe.

Callyson November 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

"Fun" fact about Turlock (located in CA's Central Valley, which is not the blue part of CA and is represented by a bunch of equally bitter Reeps) from Wikipedia:

During World War II, after the attack on Pearl Harbor, the U.S. Government placed Japanese-Americans into internment camps all over the country. The Stanislaus County Fairgrounds was the site of one of these camps and held over 3,000 interned American citizens.

Sharkey November 9, 2012 at 2:52 pm

It's one of the monsters in Dungeons and Dragons.

Mittaplasia November 9, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Turlock is one of a number of ugly red pimples on our otherwise Smurfy-blue complexion.

PhilippePetain November 9, 2012 at 3:12 pm

All of them, Katie.

mull_man November 9, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Lots of dairies in and around Turlock, hence their motto:

Come smell our dairy air.

YouBetcha November 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Let me just say, WHITE TRASH. You know you were thinking it. CRACKER, HONKY. Yes, I am caucasian. I'm still not convinced me and this fine young woman are the same species, much less the same race.

Honestly, sweetheart, lay off the eyeliner and hair gel, and maybe eat a salad once in a while. FFS.

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 2:31 pm

"All you can eat buffet" does not mean the same thing as "you should eat all of the buffet."
Put down the fork!

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Spork

/ boring correction

PugglesRule November 9, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Now, now, no need to be weighist … her bigoted asshattery is sporkable enough.

zumpie November 9, 2012 at 2:32 pm

First thing I thought. Wow what a complete white trash hill billy

ChessieNefercat November 9, 2012 at 3:01 pm

I think you just named the four varieties of ethnic she might have as friends.

DCBloom November 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Cracker? maybe, but I think peckawood describes her better

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Like some junkie cosmonaut?

widestanceromance November 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

MAYONNAISE MAMMA LIBEL!!11

HRH_Maddie November 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Honey Boo Boo has not aged well.

berkeleyfarm November 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I was reading the Victoria Jackson piece after this and thought "hmmm". But Honey Boo Boo works for me.

HRH_Maddie November 9, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I'll agree with that; she could very easily be Victoria Jackson Jr.

Living in Joy November 9, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I like this comment, but I honestly think Honey Boo Boo has it more together than this pathetic creature.

HRH_Maddie November 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm

You're totally right – it was pretty unfair of me to lump Honey Boo Boo in with this pathetic creature. After all, she endorsed Obama and is currently employed.

PugglesRule November 9, 2012 at 3:22 pm

And Honey Boo Boo is okay with the gheys. At least her ghey uncle. Whereas I bet Denise here has probably shoved a few lesbos (her word, not mine) into lockers in her day.

GunToting[Redacted] November 9, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Locker? Is that what we're calling it now?

Jennyjen798 November 9, 2012 at 9:53 pm

True. Plus Honey Boo Boo lives in a town where African Americans make up 60% of the population. I would hope the child is a little more accepting of the people around her then the twat face former cream slinger.
I mean, she's 22 and looks like she is going on 48. Gross! Lay off the smokes and meth.

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 2:42 pm

This comment made my week. Much obliged.

dr_giraud November 9, 2012 at 2:25 pm

This is the world Fox News and the legion of right-wing douches hath made: Racism, assassination talk . . . WHATEVS.

imissopus November 9, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Jesus girl, stop digging.

ChessieNefercat November 9, 2012 at 3:03 pm

You made her pull her hand out of the top of her shirt and stop digging around to re-arrange those boobies and find whatever it was that was biting.

memzilla November 9, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Found! Breitbart's illegitimate daughter!

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Wouldn't she have been "taken care of naturally"?

Detesticle November 9, 2012 at 2:26 pm

with votes

elviouslyqueer November 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm

"WOW is all I got to say!! I'm not racist and I'm not crazy. just simply stating my opinion.!!!"

Let's review, sweetie. You called the PRESIDENT a n***er AND openly hoped for his assassination AND THEN refused to walk it back or apologize but instead acted surprised when people got pissed at you. I'd say this is pretty much a textbook definition of being both racist and crazy. Not to mention a complete cunty waste of protoplasm.

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm

So you're saying she's a potential Congressional candidate?

PugglesRule November 9, 2012 at 3:23 pm

And, apparently, unaware of the existence of the Secret Service. Civics Fail!

ChillBill November 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Looks like Bristol needs to have that chin serviced again.

YasserArraFeck November 9, 2012 at 2:33 pm

I dunno – I think that flabby chin would make an excellent ball-cushion, for a blind man.

deanbooth November 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Answer: "let us all take a moment toemember"
Carnac: "What does Dick Armey think before masterbating?"

Edit: Aw, nevermind — typo fixed.

Callyson November 9, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Bitter ignorant hick says what now?

taylormattd November 9, 2012 at 2:28 pm

This reminds me, I have a few episodes of that Honey Boo Boo show on the DVR.

memzilla November 9, 2012 at 2:28 pm

OK, all together now:

"Your turn, Arizona."

berkeleyfarm November 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

jejejejeje

Incitefully_Joe November 9, 2012 at 3:21 pm

kkk kkk kkk

Schmannnity November 9, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Joe The Plumber is letting his hair grow out.

BlueStateLibel November 9, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Soul-less little cretin, what a waste of space and air.

barto November 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm

The REAL victims are all the chair manufacuters (small businesses, people) who see their painstakingly crafted products hanging from tress across America.

Stevola November 10, 2012 at 1:20 am

But sales have skyrocketed!

Detesticle November 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm

"I'm on TV!"

outragedcitizen November 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Her parents must be so proud!

Oh, right… they probably are.

Sharkey November 9, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Take that, Cold Stone Creamery!

Lizzietish81 November 9, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Are we on Cops again?

Oblios_Cap November 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Aren't Turlocks just Morlocks that live above ground?

Steverino247 November 9, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I think they're Morlocks that just lie in the yard.

Dudleydidwrong November 9, 2012 at 4:29 pm

They are Morlock turds.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 9, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Dear Denise Helms’s Parents,
When you home schooled your delightful little assassination prone child do you now regret leaving out the ethics course?
MG

ChessieNefercat November 9, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Parental response: "Uh?" scratch

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I can't see the video, but those shoulders, jeez, looks like she could play outside linebacker for the Green Bay Packers.

Hammiepants November 9, 2012 at 2:30 pm

It's like there's a secret farm where they breed these poxy cows. She looks like every other stupid white chick who's bloviated some racist bullshit out of her pimply piehole on the interwebs. This, right here, is what is meant by "low information voter".

DemmeFatale November 9, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Love "poxy."
It's right up there with "wanker," (another fave).

finallyhappy November 9, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I loved hearing Spike on Buffy say wanker

Biel_ze_Bubba November 12, 2012 at 5:53 am

She has plenty of "information" — and I guarantee that she got all of it from Fox (and Fiends).

Botlrokit November 9, 2012 at 2:30 pm

We need fewer ice cream slingers using the N word, and more academics.

zumpie November 9, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Okay, I am (after motherhood) faaaaaar from skinny myself, but….maybe Cold Stone fired her more over um, missing, product? Cause she looks like she frequently claimed she gave out a lot of samples, but ate them herself!

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

I don't think the ice cream was what she was giving away…

SorosBot November 9, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Before, I had said that the "not-racist" racists seem to think you can only call someone a racist if they actually use the N-word; apparently even that isn't enough.

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I think you have to say "Fucking N*****" to be a legit racist.

MissTaken November 9, 2012 at 3:38 pm

But *they* use it in their hip hop rap a bop songs, so it's okay!

Jus_Wonderin November 9, 2012 at 2:31 pm
PugglesRule November 9, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Nice quote from that Tumblr (anonymous FB status): "If Romney wins the popular vote, would we still have Ryan as VP because of the split?"

Jeebus Christ on a pogo stick.

Redgyal November 9, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Wow. That page is addictive.

Jus_Wonderin November 9, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I know. That goodness I had a long process running on the other screen so I could loaf around over there. Now I am back to loaf around over here.

HELisforHEL November 9, 2012 at 6:00 pm

My god, the white on those pages is blinding.

finallyhappy November 9, 2012 at 6:52 pm

I was wondering if the first photo(it changes with time) of the women with the cupcakes and faky sad faces did it later as a joke for the website

fishskicanoe November 10, 2012 at 12:10 am

There's even a McNaughton picture there of him and his daughter in his "happy place". Har!

Liberalatchi November 10, 2012 at 12:19 am

Impressive artwork with the crying flag and the mournful eagle. Is almost as addictive as the dog shaming site.

imissopus November 9, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Really, I have no words.

Crank_Tango November 9, 2012 at 2:32 pm

And she lost her dream job at the stone-cold creamery. Oh well, at least she has a future on fox. OOOOPs sorry, fox has a strict no fat-chicks policy.

Well, at least trolling the internet pays well, maybe.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

MEGHAN MCCAIN LIBEL!

elviouslyqueer November 9, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Revelation that she hasn't voted since 1988 in 3…2…1…

Ground Zero Mostel November 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Never. She's not registered.

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

She did her part to keep the Blah in office!

Redgyal November 9, 2012 at 4:45 pm

If she is 22 then she couldn't. No?

Tommy1733 November 9, 2012 at 2:33 pm

When I learn about people like her that are competing for resources with my kids it makes me all combative and punchy-kicky.

T3rbo November 9, 2012 at 2:34 pm

She is fucked: off to GITMO (or Stargate?) with you, via a FEMA-run "Forward" branded cattle car.

BlueStateLibel November 9, 2012 at 3:16 pm

No, probably just a life sentence of working at Walmart (who's going to want to hire her after this), but that's probably worse.

docterry6973 November 9, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Work will set you free my dear. You'll like Montana a lot.

delaney_blom November 9, 2012 at 2:34 pm

from the gawker story: Turlock Cold Stone Creamery store director Chris Kegle, who fired Helms from her job at the store [said] "We found her comments to be very disgusting, and they do not reflect our opinions here."

He went on to say, "I probably should have seen this coming when she referred to one scoop of vanilla and one scoop of chocolate as 'mullato jungle fever sundae' and asked customers if they wanted faggy or darky sprinkles."

And another thing: store director?

ChillBill November 9, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Yet another victim of the Obama Economy.

mosaickmind November 9, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Fox proudly presents their new "person to watch"

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

GAH!

Is there no way to turn off auto-start on that fucking video???

SorosBot November 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Thanks to young Denise Helms' statement, her last name may forever be associate with horrific virulent racism.

…oh wait, it already is? Never mind.

DixvilleCrotch November 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Douchette be douchetting.

Would be nice to see Facebook start deep sixing accounts with racist posts like that. Then she'd be forced to go back to MySpace.

Ground Zero Mostel November 9, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Just looking at other coverage. Apparently she is not actually a registered voter. Someone should explain to her that she can "assassinate" politicians she doesn't like — WITH VOTES.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 9, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Racism is just part of her culture. Who are we to judge?

Nostrildamus November 9, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I'm getting kinda tired of the "songs of her people".

not that Dewey November 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm

"Assassination" is an old surveyor's word.

Mumbletypeg November 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Does being thus assasinated require… a surveyor sword?

MosesInvests November 10, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Yeah, I used to be a surveyor. We'd assassinate the centerline of a road, assassinate a property corner….

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Young lady, just look over your shoulder there and read that sign. It says STOP.

SayItWithWookies November 9, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I'm sure she says "I want my country back" and shit like that, too. Too bad, honey — your country hasn't been around since PW Botha left office.

Joshua Norton November 9, 2012 at 2:39 pm

And so concludes another performance of "White Trash Theater".

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 9, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Cold stone creamery. Isn't that the place where the staff will literally sing (and dance if your lucky) for a dollar?

bobbert November 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

They used to. Don't know if that's still a thing.

Nostrildamus November 9, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I bet she provides some great alternative lyrics.

finallyhappy November 9, 2012 at 6:54 pm

I thought that was the fudge place- staff had to sing every hour. I haven't seen any at malls around here but I think I remember one at Franklin Mills in Philly

Shypixel November 9, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Am I the only one that thinks she looks like a younger, less unattractive version of Victoria Jackson?

Maybe it's just because she is blonde and HUGE.

and also nuttier than a PayDay Bar…

Blueb4sinrise November 9, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Nice 'stache though.

MaxNeanderthal November 9, 2012 at 2:40 pm

White trash tornado bait has hit her 15 miutes of fame. From here on in it's all downhill to the inevitable thrombosis and mattress fire fatality at 48…

StealthMuslin November 9, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Starts crapping out Honey-Boo-Boos in three, two, one…

ockqua1 November 9, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Just let these crazies TRY to asassinate Obama. The Republicans will NEVER hold the presidential office again. Ever. They created these monsters. They have to slay them.

Signed,

America

Lizzietish81 November 9, 2012 at 2:42 pm

What's the problem? Black men refer to themselves as "N-" all the time, so therefore it can't be racist when a white person uses it to refer to black person right? If you think its racist then clearly you are the racist because I wasn't thinking of it in a bad way, I was just thinking like one of them.

Mumbletypeg November 9, 2012 at 2:43 pm

For the record, the vid began auto-playing, which normally it's blocked here at my office. But I didn't bother putting headphones on. The silent footage of President and Mrs. Obama, visually demonstrating their natural grace and confidence, makes a sharp contrast with this dime store attention whore who couldn't appropriate inherent glamour if she were drowning in a vat of beauty- and/or cheap-shots.

cybermoe November 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Does she not redneckognize what she typed?

Yellerdawg November 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

It would be more productive to talk to a couch than try to get someone like this to understand anything. Pat her on the head, give her a cookie and tell her to go home.

emmelemm November 9, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Dining room table libel!

kittensdontlie November 9, 2012 at 2:45 pm

That's one stone cold bitch.

Mittens Howell, III November 9, 2012 at 2:46 pm

You'll all be laughing on the other side of your faces when Mitt wins the election.

Mittaplasia November 9, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Will all you gooks, beaners, nigras and other furriners kindly stop playing the race card?

TurnItOff! November 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Putting aside all the other awfulness:

Calling for the assassination of the POTUS – federal crime.
Calling for someone to call for the assassination of the POTUS – still uncool?
How many degrees of seperation does one need to be able to express assassination wishes without being in violation of federal law? There's some soon-to-be-unemployed members of the HoR who are asking.

BornInATrailer November 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm

She kinda looks like she needs a break from the ice cream biz anywho. Just saying.

Goonemeritus November 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Just one more American that lost her job thanks to Obama!

RelicOven November 9, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Thanks Obama! I don't ice cream coming from people like that anyways, I feel like they'd write "Go back to Mexico" in sprinkles on it.

rickmaci November 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Lady. Fat, drunk and stupid is not a good way to go through life. But you will.

MonkeyMotion November 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Don't forget ugly!

Severen13 November 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Boo-hoo, I called the President a "nigger", called for his assassination, got fired from my job, and am now being investigated by the Secret Service. Why is everyone being so mean to poor little mmmmmeeeeeeeee?

ockqua1 November 9, 2012 at 2:49 pm

AND, they will be weeded out of Congress by 2014. See, these uninformed, young white kids are making these offensive statements because the old, white man establishment knows they are dying off. Good luck with that.

It's a shame, because I was leaning towards moderate republicanism when I reached the age to vote. But their hatred of women and women of color swayed me. Now? They act like a band of traveling shock show circus clowns, scaring up votes. If Huntsman and Christie was their platform, things may have been different.

fuflans November 9, 2012 at 11:11 pm

well welcome to your libtard wonkette overlords!

we love fallen republicans.

actually, we love fallen anything…

iamrrm November 9, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Like, if she dropped a few elle bees she could totally go for Miss Teen South Carolina or such as.

CindynEncinitas November 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Is Sarah Palin the victim because that horrid cow ate all of Sarah's Hot Pockets?

Mapmonger November 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

If only the wingnuts bloviating about FEMA camps and the communist Obama state could see this and realize that America isn't dead.

Because if this were Stalin's Russia? She so would not be mouthfarting her way through a television interview..

Mahousu November 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Most surprising part of the story: her comment only got 9 "likes."

leaknoil November 9, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Turlock, CA represents !

You think she's bad you should try living there. I am sure a parade and prayer vigil is already being planned for her as I type this.

If you all remember this is the wacko town in California with the college that paid for the wacky chick from Alaska to come speak.

keepwalkin November 9, 2012 at 2:55 pm

This girl? makes Mee Maw seem like Mother Theresa.

Stupid.Fat.Bitch.

bobbert November 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Ah, Turlock. About forty miles as the crow flies.

leaknoil November 9, 2012 at 3:04 pm

unfortunately about 0 miles for me

bobbert November 9, 2012 at 3:08 pm

:>(

Pat_Pending November 9, 2012 at 3:37 pm

And that crow is named Jim.

BenGleck November 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

And should have kept flying!

cousinitt November 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Cold Stone Killer.

Pat_Pending November 9, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Goat Face Killah.

Esteev November 9, 2012 at 2:58 pm

This is just a ploy by the liberal media to shame a person who just so happens to disagree with Mr Obama's policies. Stop it liberal media!

Just stahp

JustPixelz November 9, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I'm so sick of white people I had to take down the mirror in my bathroom.

iamrrm November 9, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Um, er, did that video just go right ahead and play itself without my giving any sort of permission? That can't be allowed to happen here. Some of the videos here can kill people if they actually click the play button (something I ordinarily have to be tricked into doing).

rickmaci November 9, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I know she lost her job at the ice cream store, but isn't she now officially eligible for a gig on FuxNooz?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 9, 2012 at 3:01 pm

You all are so quick to jump to conclusions.

First of all, "Nigga Assassination" is just one of the best flavors Cold Stone offers, from their Gansta Rap collection (Get it with a scoop of Ice-Cubecream or My-Dick-Runs-Deep Chocolate). You would want four years of it also.

Secondly, she wasn't talking about the president, as she clearly used the term "Nigga," and Obama is clearly a Mulatto. Racists are very good at getting their hatred straight.

widestanceromance November 9, 2012 at 3:07 pm

If she was a racist, she would have called him 'High Yella.'

CrunchyKnee November 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Say now, Sam the plumber would like her digits.

GeorgiaBurning November 9, 2012 at 3:08 pm

I can't see Turlock from my house. Thanks, God, for Mt Hamilton

Troglodeity November 9, 2012 at 3:11 pm

They had to fire her. Otherwise she'd have been known as the Cold Stone Racist.

PhilippePetain November 9, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I like how the reporter kind of convinced her in the end that she's racist.

kyeshinka November 9, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Wow. What a beautiful woman through and through.

BZ1 November 9, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Jesse's daughter?

Exhausted66 November 9, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Beyond the racism, Cold Stone Creamery could have fired her for eating into the profits.

tracyhasfun November 9, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Dear fucking lord a-mighty. She is the dumbest piece of shit I have seen on TV. Of course I don't watch Fox.

Robman2 November 9, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Someone needs to stop chumming free samples at Cold Stone.

mustangsavvy November 9, 2012 at 3:34 pm

This young lass is the reason we desperately need education reform.

Pat_Pending November 9, 2012 at 3:35 pm

You mean there's consequences to words???? Yeah, honey, just like there's consequences to eating all the mix-ins behind the counter when you think no one is looking, Cold Stone Fat Idiot.

owhatever November 9, 2012 at 3:35 pm

She is now considered a moderate Republican, because the bitch backed down.

docterry6973 November 9, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Rhino. Too cruel?

magic_titty November 9, 2012 at 3:48 pm

When did 'I'm not racist; I just think some spooks are niggers' become a viable position to stand by?

Steverino247 November 9, 2012 at 4:00 pm

"Sprightly lass" is not what comes to mind when I see that picture.

ElPinche November 9, 2012 at 4:05 pm

“I like fat chicks. I do not like r33tarded fat chicks. They are so unlike other fatchicks.”
- Ghandi or ice cube

An_Outhouse November 9, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I wish someone would run these crackers down with a monster truck and crush their racists skulls. Calm down, that's just a phrase. Its not like I was saying I was going to do it. That would be too much work.

jello_mold November 9, 2012 at 4:28 pm

22? must be so cool to never get carded.

ibwilliamsi November 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Before having seen her photo, I called her a racist bitch. I stand corrected. She is a "fat ugly racist bitch".

DrunkIrishman November 9, 2012 at 4:32 pm

"I have many friends who are black…"

YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP!

DahBoner November 9, 2012 at 4:38 pm

If only they made a wrinkle cream that reduced the visible fine lines of ignorance…

Katydid November 9, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Jesus Christ, mein Editrix, I read Wonkette for the considerable lulz…but sometimes it's like being on a roller coaster here, I open the page and laugh, then I scroll down and see something like this and I want to cry.

This is exhausting. I'm going to build a macro so I can automatically post "These fucking people" from now on instead.

Also too, who raised this p.o.s. woman?

Guppy November 9, 2012 at 4:53 pm

This stereo recording uses both the left and right sound channels (just not at the same time).

Guppy November 9, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Another job lost thanks to the NOBAMA presidency.

Nostrildamus November 9, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Can hardly wait for Hannity's "Obama's a job killer" interview after her firing.

american__mutt November 9, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I'm sure she calls her ethnic friends "niggers" allll the time and they don't mind it one bit.

HELisforHEL November 9, 2012 at 5:36 pm

No snark. What a fucking piece of shit this piece of shit is. WTF
"She has many friends from different nationalities"…
Not anymore.

docterry6973 November 9, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Something something banality of evil.

Gleem McShineys November 9, 2012 at 7:15 pm

The most surprising twist of this story for me is that it looks like she has all her teeth.

mmeetoilenoir November 10, 2012 at 1:16 am

Oh, for fuck's sake.

(Come on, now. Someone had to say it in this thread.)

MosesInvests November 10, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Callyson libel!

sayprettyplease November 10, 2012 at 2:23 am

Jenny Craig is on line one,,,ignorant bitch

Negropolis November 10, 2012 at 2:29 am

You guys are just so judgemental. Obviously, she was just doing this to get the attention of Jodie Foster.

Preacher_Griz November 10, 2012 at 5:31 am

hawt!!! fap fap fap!!!!

ttommyunger November 10, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Turlock: add to list of places to avoid like the fucking plague.

carlgt1 November 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

so she dips ice-cream for a living, and she's going to screech about 51% of America being poor moochers?

BenGleck November 10, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Repos are officially now so stupid that they really are that not aware that they are that stupid. The same thing goes with their racism.
Fat and ugly however is an individual thing.

swordfis November 10, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I'm sick of seeing idiots being given airtime. Panes et circenses for liberals. Just let the FBI draw a shroud of secrecy over this matter.

Baba_NinjaCat12 November 10, 2012 at 9:37 pm

She got iced from her job.
Her job prospect is icy at best.
Soon will get an icy reception from secret service about the president to be iced.
Did she know the Facebook post she made will get an icy reception from the public.
The cold fact of the story that she is simply a stone cold racist.

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